0:00:10 > 0:00:12This programme contains strong language
0:00:23 > 0:00:24DOOR OPENS
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Anyway, to cut a long story short, I decided to kill myself.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39That's the trouble with suicides, I've learned,
0:00:39 > 0:00:41you can't cut the long story short.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Because it's the long story that people are interested in.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Especially if you're me.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Which, regrettably, I was and still am to this day.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53So, forgive me if you already knew this
0:00:53 > 0:00:57but I'm Martin Sharp, the man who had everything.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59One wife, two children, three dogs
0:00:59 > 0:01:03At least four People's Choice Awards, and five mornings a week
0:01:03 > 0:01:05on the most successful breakfast show in Britain.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Hm. They were even offering me Mondays off.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13So far, so good.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I have reached middle age, unscathed,
0:01:15 > 0:01:16with money in the bank.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Until I met Susie Jenkins
0:01:20 > 0:01:23at a launch for a new men's moisturizer.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25All I can say, in my defence, Your Honour,
0:01:25 > 0:01:29is that she looked 25 to me, but she wasn't.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Cue, in chronological order, tabloid frenzy,
0:01:35 > 0:01:40a short prison sentence, divorce, disgrace, demolition.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41'Doors closing.'
0:01:43 > 0:01:45New Year's Eve is supposed to be a pause
0:01:45 > 0:01:47for breath, a punctuation mark.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Well, I had come to a full stop. Really.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Why wouldn't I want to throw myself off the top of a tall building?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Excuse me?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Excuse me?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Hi, um...
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this, but um...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Are you going to be long?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- What?- I wasn't sure whether to wait my turn, or...
0:03:51 > 0:03:55But I hadn't considered the wire. I'd really like to borrow your ladder?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Maybe I should just wait... I'll wait.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- You're just gonna stand there and watch?- No, no, of course.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03You'll, you'll be wanting to do it on your own, I imagine.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05You imagine right.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08- I'll go there... - Right.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I'll give you a shout on the way down.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17All right.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Oh!
0:04:39 > 0:04:40I can't...
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Maybe you should go first?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47I would want to be on my own... completely.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Understood... 20 minutes...
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Then I want my spot back.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56- Right.- OK.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- 0h!- Oh!
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Maureen.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21Martin.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28Are you from... Uh, I recognise your face.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- Oh, do you?- Are you married to someone in a pop group?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33No.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Are you on TV? - Maureen...
0:05:36 > 0:05:39perhaps this is not the best time to talk about this.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40DOOR OPENS
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Out of my way, you bastards! - No, stop, stop, calm!
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Who the fuck are you? - Maureen, help.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- What do you want me to do? - Hold her legs.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58You're getting a thrill out of this, aren't you, you pervert!
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- Oh, my God! - What?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04You're Martin Sharp! You are a pervert, officially!
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Oh! That's it! "Rise and shine with Martin and Penny!"
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Just let me...
0:06:10 > 0:06:11PHONE RINGS
0:06:11 > 0:06:13What? What?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Hi.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Um...any of you guys order a pizza...?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Well, shall we do introductions?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I'm Jess.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Everyone calls me Jess.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43I'm Maureen.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- I'm JJ.- I'm... - Martin Sharp.- Yes.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50It's very exciting to have a celebrity in our suicidal midst.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- This is wrong. - All right, well we could just
0:06:52 > 0:06:55do a one, two, three, jump!
0:06:58 > 0:06:59THUD
0:06:59 > 0:07:00CAR ALARM WAILS
0:07:04 > 0:07:06'I wouldn't have minded
0:07:06 > 0:07:08'if it had been the proverbial cry for help,
0:07:08 > 0:07:12'but, believe me, you don't cart a ladder up 15 flights of stairs on
0:07:12 > 0:07:15'a freezing cold New Year's Eve, unless you're serious.'
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Nice to meet you.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21'It was just another debacle, another cock-up.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26'I'd have believed you if you told me half an hour before that I'd end up ON my car...
0:07:26 > 0:07:28'but not IN it!'
0:07:35 > 0:07:38'And I absolutely knew, with every fibre of my being,
0:07:38 > 0:07:41'that I wouldn't be seeing any of those freaks and misfits again.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44'I didn't know what they were doing up there.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47'And I didn't want to find out, thank you very much.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49'I had no interest, whatsoever'
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Oh, fuck!
0:07:55 > 0:07:58'Do I regret stopping to pick her up?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01'Well, that really is a long story.'
0:08:04 > 0:08:05Want a lift?
0:08:05 > 0:08:10No, no. The bus will be long... in 15 minutes.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Get in the car, Maureen.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I did like your television show.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57What are you doing?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Ah, it's a bit early for a reunion, isn't it?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Get in the car, we're taking you home.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17So this is...jolly.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21OK. one word answers.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25Everyone has one word to explain why they were up in the roof in the first place.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30For example, Martin might say... "notoriety".
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- Maureen might say "loneliness". - I'm not lonely.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Tell that to your cats. - I don't have cats.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I was up there because I felt... helpless.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Helpless! That's a very good adjective!
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Are we not filling in to your pre-ordained boxers, Jess?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Actually, you fill your one marvellously, Martin.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Was prison fun?
0:09:51 > 0:09:55You really believe you have an answer for everything, don't you?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59I really believe that you are a miserable bastard, yes.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Actually right now, a miserable bastard
0:10:01 > 0:10:04is exactly what I am, have I not been hiding it well?
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Pizza boy? - JJ.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Why might pizza boy want to die?
0:10:08 > 0:10:11What would be your reason, Jess?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14My reason would be love.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Chas, Chas the dickhead, he spurned me.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19I am a spurned woman.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Cancer.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I was up there because I have cancer.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- I have an inoperable cancer. - We have a winner!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33It's fucking brilliant, very impressed, is it um...
0:10:33 > 0:10:34an embarrassing cancer?
0:10:34 > 0:10:38Brain... CCR.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I'm sorry, JJ.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Yeah... Colon would have been better.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Oh...we're here.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Here? You live here?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56No, but Chas is likely to be here.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59And I've got a couple of things I want to say to him.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Good luck with your next attempt. See you in the afterlife.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Yes, goodnight.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Unhappy little thing, isn't she?
0:11:23 > 0:11:28I should have known... The most popular place in London
0:11:28 > 0:11:30for suicides, and the most popular night for suicides.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I should've known, I wouldn't be alone.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I don't know why she thought I have cats.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38And she certainly swears too much, but...
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Go on Maureen, just say.
0:11:44 > 0:11:48I just um... should she be alone?
0:11:52 > 0:11:54THUMPING MUSIC
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Martin, you, uh... you go that way,
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- I'm going there. - No, no, I can't do this.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13What else are we gonna do? Hey, what else are we gonna do?
0:12:13 > 0:12:16And Maureen um, you check... you check the bathrooms.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Look the bathrooms, bathrooms. OK, go.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I'm looking for a girl called Jess. Jess!
0:12:35 > 0:12:38I'm looking for a girl called Jess. Jess?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Hi! I'm looking for...
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Hi!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- I'm looking for... - Hi!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13I'm looking for a girl... Jess.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Good... Great... Perfect.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34ALL: 16, 15, 14,
0:13:34 > 0:13:3913, 12, 11 o'clock, ten o'clock,
0:13:39 > 0:13:44nine, eight, seven, six, five,
0:13:44 > 0:13:50four, three, two, one... Happy New Year!
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Hi!
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Hmm!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- You're hiding too, are you? - Yeah.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26I... I've taken some pills.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30It's all good. What are you hiding from?
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Oh, you know, humans, humanity, life. You?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37A nutter who's trying to kill me.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Your reason's better than mine, then. And where is this nutter?
0:14:40 > 0:14:44- She's everywhere... - Ah, God-like, is she?
0:14:44 > 0:14:47I was just hoping I was in a bad pill.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52Um...cos she's not supposed to be here, but I'm pretty sure I've just seen her.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55Um, I'm pretty sure I've seen you on breakfast TV, so...
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Maybe I'm actually having a good pill...
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- You're Chas, aren't you? - How'd you know that?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04I'm here with the...nutter.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Chas, Chas, Chas! Still, still, listen, listen.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Let's just...
0:15:09 > 0:15:12go find her together, huh? I mean, What's the worst that could happen?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14She tried to kill me twice, got me arrested once.
0:15:14 > 0:15:19I'm banned from three pubs, two clubs and a cinema.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- OK.- Just let me leave quietly.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- All right. OK... - I've done nothing wrong.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Nothing wrong?! Taking her to bed!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Nothing wrong. Where is she? Where's Jess?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32We need to find her. You need to talk to her.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34She won't talk. She just chases me with a bread knife.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Oh, and tonight she was prepared to end her life because of what you did to her.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39- Maureen, don't. - Just?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Yeah, that's where we met her, the top of a tower block
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- Preparing to... - What?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Hey, hey, it's Jess. Come on.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- How's she doing?- Hey.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52Do you know what did she took?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I don't know. Drugs, alcohol, you know, the usual.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Are you the father? - No, I... No!
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- I need to know her name. - Uh, she's called Jess.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Sir, I need her full name.- None of us knew her before tonight.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04You need to wait here.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09She's got no identification on her no, nothing.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Yeah, well she probably didn't want to make identification easy.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14She likes things, you know... difficult.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19Uhm... Hospitals, not a fan. Good drugs, though.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Mm.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Late for something?
0:17:08 > 0:17:12No, I just, have to make sure I'm home to make Matty some breakfast.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- Matty? - My son.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17- You have a son? - Yes.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21His breakfast is... quite complicated.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29I don't... Um. look, if I'm not going to die tonight,
0:17:29 > 0:17:34it's important that he doesn't know anything that happened.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Here she comes.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Oh, boy!
0:17:45 > 0:17:49OK. Just got a few things to clarify...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Number one, my gown's open-backed,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55because they've stolen my clothes.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58So I'm gonna do a twirl for you right now, and you can have a look at my ass.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Just once, it's not my best feature,
0:18:00 > 0:18:03but that's something that you'll probably find out the more we get to know one another.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Number two...
0:18:06 > 0:18:10It really, it wasn't an overdose. It was just an accident.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Honestly, I took all these pills
0:18:12 > 0:18:16and then... I took some more, but it was just for fun.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18I'd never kill myself by taking pills.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21I'd probably do something really cool like,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23jumping off the top of a tower block.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Jess, we were worried.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30I was, was I at number three, or... I think I was at number four.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34I just wanted to say, thank you so much for caring.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Because I really um, I really, really appreciate it.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40He was worried, I was trying to work out what we are still doing here.
0:18:41 > 0:18:47So, now number five. I think I was on number five...or six... Fuck!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Is it just me?
0:18:49 > 0:18:54Because it's really fucking cold out here, guys.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55It's really cold.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Come here.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Come on in.
0:19:01 > 0:19:02Yes.
0:19:18 > 0:19:19Thanks.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Hey!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27When is the next day after New Year's Eve,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- when everybody kills themselves? - Why?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Valentine's day.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34That's six weeks away.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40OK, here's the deal. Nobody kills themselves until then.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Why? I mean, why would we wanna do that?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Why wouldn't we not want to kill ourselves if and when and how we want, huh?
0:19:47 > 0:19:52What's the alternative? It's some sort of race to the finish,
0:19:52 > 0:19:56it's me, checking the obituaries every week
0:19:56 > 0:19:58to see if Martin Sharp is dead.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00No offence, guys, but...
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I don't think your deaths would really make the papers.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Come on, six weeks.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09It's not such a ridiculous idea.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Yes, Maureen, has anybody got a pen? Can I have some paper as well.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Paper.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Great, thanks.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19The undersigned,
0:20:19 > 0:20:25do hereby promise... not to kill themselves...
0:20:25 > 0:20:27before Valentine's day.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Maureen, sign just wherever you like.
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Pizza boy?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- But... - You're dying anyway. Hm?
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Martin Sharp.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Life saver... Superman.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Six weeks, Martin.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05We'll push you off the top ourselves,
0:21:05 > 0:21:06if it makes any difference.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09It'll be a little Valentine's day treat.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Pretty sure we're all gonna live to regret this.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Guys...look.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25So this is a new year, then.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Yeah...
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Hang on, Maureen, just a fucking question here,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Have we just written our pact on the back of your suicide note?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Oh, yes, there is that.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44LAUGHING
0:22:09 > 0:22:11'My mom always likes to repeat this story of me as a kid
0:22:11 > 0:22:13'being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up.
0:22:14 > 0:22:19'I always used to say - invisible. I don't know quite what prompted it,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21'but the thought of it stuck with me.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24'It was only later that I found out
0:22:24 > 0:22:27'that invisibility is in fact a technical possibility.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31'It was in this book that my sister stole from the library
0:22:31 > 0:22:32'and I stole from my sister.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35'I followed her into crime,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37'though she was better than me.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39'She always sort of glowed innocence,
0:22:39 > 0:22:42'whereas I, to this day, just sort of radiate guilt.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46'Anyway, to be invisible is easy.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48'You just have to find a way to diffract light.'
0:22:48 > 0:22:50TYRES SCREECH
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Whoa. Are you trying to get yourself killed?!
0:22:54 > 0:22:57'I haven't managed it yet, but I'm working on it.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00'I didn't just follow him, I followed all of them.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02'And it wasn't stalking.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05'You stalk a deer in order to kill it, mount it, stick it on your wall
0:23:05 > 0:23:08'and tell the story of how fucking brilliant you are with a shotgun.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10'I didn't wanna kill any of them.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13'I certainly didn't have any interest in mounting them.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17'And I don't own a shotgun... though I'd like one.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20'I just wanted to check in, invisibly,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22'to check if they're sticking to the pact.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24'That's not stalking, it's barely even espionage.'
0:23:24 > 0:23:25PHONE RINGS
0:23:26 > 0:23:29OK... Now I know why you're ringing.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Pink flamingos fly north on Tuesday.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Hello, Jess.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43This is top spy location, Dad. It's hugely inconspicuous.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Look... Um...
0:23:49 > 0:23:51This is a situation, I've invited a...
0:23:51 > 0:23:54A situation? That's what you're referring to it as?
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- How else would you refer to it? - I don't know, Dad.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- You did what you did... - Yes, I tried to kill myself.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Jess, please don't put words in my mouth. This is hard enough.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07- Is it, Dad?- Yes.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Why are we doing this here? Why can't we just do this at home?
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Because the press will be there and I'm trying to protect you.
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Oh, well, you've always been really great at that, haven't you?
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Jess... - What the hell are you doing here?
0:24:19 > 0:24:23- Um... I was invited. - You were invited?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Politician's daughter. What a surprise!
0:24:25 > 0:24:28I called his agent. I thought we should talk.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- You called his agent. - He was delighted, first call he'd in a while..
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Was it you? Who went to the press.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38No! I've been trying to figure it out myself, but...
0:24:38 > 0:24:39JJ?
0:24:39 > 0:24:42He's too shy. It's not Maureen.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44No, no...
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Hey, it was fucking Chas! Chas sold us!
0:24:48 > 0:24:51My ex-wife rang this morning, wanted to know what I'd done.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Asking me what she should tell the children.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Oh, I'm gonna fucking kill him.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58She told me, I seem to be the only person in the whole world that the press gets bang on.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02If they say I've slept with a 15-year-old, I generally have.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05If they say I've contemplated suicide, I generally have.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Yes, I read about you with the... girl.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You haven't...you two haven't?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14You're asking whether we've slept together?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- You think that I've... - Martin! At least I'm legal.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Yes, I value our friendship too much to complicate it.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Do you plan to maintain your relationship with Jess?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Yeah, of course he will. We're in a gang.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- We're not in a gang. - You signed a pact!
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Oh, yes, of course the pact, how could I forget?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Yes, Jess and I are friends for life now!
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Now look, Martin, I'm sure I didn't have to tell someone
0:25:38 > 0:25:40with your media training...
0:25:40 > 0:25:44that what we have here, is a media firestorm.
0:25:44 > 0:25:49Yes, gentlemen, this is a media firestorm.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51- I'll leave you to it. - Jess!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Why don't you invite him to our family therapy? You could do that
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Why don't you pay him to be you, Dad?
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Martin doesn't want my money.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03You don't, do you?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of an idiot?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09I'm a politician. That's all they ever tell me.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13- All right.- Yep.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Good luck.- Yes.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Miss Crichton, a statement?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Why did you choose New Year's Eve?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Please, just one question.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36This is the second tragedy for the Crichton family
0:26:36 > 0:26:40after the disappearance older sister Jennifer, two years ago.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Jennifer was never found and you have to wonder
0:26:43 > 0:26:45how Shadow Education Secretary Chris Crichton,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48will cope with this new strain upon him.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# Tragedy
0:26:55 > 0:26:57# When the feeling's gone and you can't go on
0:26:57 > 0:26:58# It's tragedy
0:26:58 > 0:27:00# When the morning cries and you don't know why
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# It's hard to bear
0:27:02 > 0:27:06# With no-one to love you you're going nowhere
0:27:06 > 0:27:08# Ba ba ba bam
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# Tragedy... #
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Jess?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Can I come in?
0:27:16 > 0:27:17KNOCK ON DOOR
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Can I come in, Jess?
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Where did she go now?
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Jess?
0:28:02 > 0:28:06# I am lost in a rainbow
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# Now our rainbow is gone
0:28:14 > 0:28:18# Overcast by your shadow
0:28:19 > 0:28:23# As our worlds move on
0:28:25 > 0:28:30# In this shirt I can be you
0:28:31 > 0:28:35# To be near you for a while
0:28:37 > 0:28:41# There's a crane knocking down
0:28:43 > 0:28:47# All these things that we were
0:28:49 > 0:28:54# I awake in the night
0:28:54 > 0:28:58- # To hear the engines pout...- #
0:29:01 > 0:29:04- Hello.- Come...enter.
0:29:08 > 0:29:09Wow!
0:29:10 > 0:29:13Jess, this is Matty...my son.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16I mean... Wow...
0:29:16 > 0:29:18- You just... you completely wowed me! - Jess...
0:29:18 > 0:29:20What's it mean? "Wow"?
0:29:20 > 0:29:23Like wow, this is what you've been hiding in here.
0:29:23 > 0:29:24Jess, enough!
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Sorry...
0:29:27 > 0:29:30I wasn't leaving him, that night, there was...
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Maureen, no-one is accusing you of anything.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36Social services would've been forced to pay for proper care.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39I mean the standard of care they could provide... It's better.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44And I don't hide him. I've never hidden him, never.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47Can we get back to the matter in hand?
0:29:47 > 0:29:51Yeah, we're all here to figure out how to get them to leave us all alone.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55OK, I had um, three of them call my cell today.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56How did they even get my number?
0:29:56 > 0:29:59Yeah, how did Chas even remember you?
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Is Chas behind this?
0:30:01 > 0:30:04Yeah, I mean you're quite cute, but you're infinitely forgettable.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07They won't...leave us alone.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10They'll find out where you live, where Maureen lives...
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- What, they'll be here? - So, I've been thinking...
0:30:13 > 0:30:17- What if we shift the goal posts? - Goal posts?
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Yeah, make it our story, not theirs.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21I mean there's even a possibility that we might
0:30:21 > 0:30:23be able to make some uh, money out of it.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- Money?- Yeah, money, that would be good for Matty, wouldn't it?
0:30:26 > 0:30:29I'm sure JJ would like a break from pizzas.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32And as an unemployed, disgraced talk show host, I could certainly do with it.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34I don't want Matty in the papers.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37We can't stop that.
0:30:37 > 0:30:42But at least this way... we won't lose out entirely.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46- By telling our story... - What story?
0:30:46 > 0:30:49We went up and came back down again.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52They've sold newspapers off our backs.
0:30:52 > 0:30:53Isn't it time we got something out of it.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55I...
0:30:57 > 0:31:00- Yes, OK.- Good. Great.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03You? Eh?
0:31:03 > 0:31:07Yeah, I mean...if you think it's right, Martin, I'm in.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10I'm fine financially. Cos, you know, I got my dad to nick from.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Oh...
0:31:12 > 0:31:17But...if we were to make the story, a fun one.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Let me tell you a story.
0:31:35 > 0:31:40We're up there... and we were ready to go...
0:31:41 > 0:31:44And we felt this presence.
0:31:44 > 0:31:49I would describe it...as a light.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53An ethereal glowing.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55It was an angel.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59We were visited by an angel. And it looked like Matt Damon.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Matt Damon.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Oh, fuck it. Yeah, I'm with her.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08- It looked like Matt Damon. - Who's Matt Damon?
0:32:08 > 0:32:11No, it wasn't really a physical angel, it was more of a uh...
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Is that what Jess told you? What else did she say?
0:32:14 > 0:32:19And he was naked, and he said, he literally decreed, "Thou shall not die tonight."
0:32:19 > 0:32:22- I mean, this is Matt Damon, the naked angel.- What?
0:32:22 > 0:32:26Maybe we shouldn't write all of this down. Can I talk to your editor?
0:32:26 > 0:32:29- He used to be a good mate of mine. - An actor?
0:32:29 > 0:32:31What films has he been in?
0:32:31 > 0:32:33You're not actually going to print this, are you?
0:32:33 > 0:32:35Yeah, yeah, no, that's how it went.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I had an interesting thing happen today.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45Did you? Let me guess.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46Your second daughter humiliated you
0:32:46 > 0:32:48on the pages of the national press?
0:32:51 > 0:32:54Actually no. I was in the members' bar...
0:32:54 > 0:32:58And somebody came up to you, and said, "Chris was that your daughter,
0:32:58 > 0:33:01"on pages of the national press?"
0:33:01 > 0:33:04People have laughed at me for a long time,
0:33:04 > 0:33:08but I did prefer it when they didn't laugh at you.
0:33:11 > 0:33:16An angel...you told them you saw an angel.
0:33:16 > 0:33:17Chris.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20And did it look like Jennifer? Is that what you were going to say?
0:33:24 > 0:33:25No.
0:33:27 > 0:33:32No, Dad... I didn't tell them it looked like Jennifer.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39I told them that it looked like Matt Damon.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43Zoom in on camera two...
0:33:43 > 0:33:44Three, two, one...
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Many of us have been transfixed
0:33:49 > 0:33:53by the story of the Topper House Four and the angel that visited them.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56And we are so lucky here on "Rise and Shine with Penny"
0:33:56 > 0:33:58to have them with us in the studio today.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02One of them certainly needs no introduction, Martin, Martin Sharp, my old co-host.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Penny, it's an honour to be back on this old sofa again with you
0:34:05 > 0:34:09and I'd really like to take this opportunity to correct a few misconceptions
0:34:09 > 0:34:13- about this so-called angel... - And we will absolutely have time for that, Martin,
0:34:13 > 0:34:16but it would be remiss of me not to begin the interview
0:34:16 > 0:34:19with a bit of background on what's been happening to you in the last 12 months.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22Yes, well...
0:34:22 > 0:34:25Yes, well, Penny, currently I'm juggling various job opportunities,
0:34:25 > 0:34:27concentrating on being a father.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32And before that I was imprisoned, but what we would actually like to talk to you about
0:34:32 > 0:34:35is what we allegedly saw on the roof...
0:34:35 > 0:34:37And of course the reason that you were imprisoned
0:34:37 > 0:34:40was for an inappropriate relationship with an under-aged girl?
0:34:43 > 0:34:45That's right, Penny.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46And this incident, this sex offence,
0:34:46 > 0:34:49led you to lose your job, your home, your family, and finally,
0:34:49 > 0:34:52drove you to suicidal feelings.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53That's right, Penny.
0:34:53 > 0:34:58Which is, of course, where he met you lovely people...
0:34:58 > 0:35:00Yeah, we all met up there.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03And where you saw your angel that looked like Matt Damon?
0:35:03 > 0:35:06- Tell me more. - Hi, sorry.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09It wasn't an angel. It was more of a light.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11- We never agreed on an angel! - Now, Jess...
0:35:12 > 0:35:14I really... Talk to the other people before you...
0:35:14 > 0:35:16We know you mostly through your father,
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Shadow Education Secretary, Chris Crichton.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22You should probably talk to JJ, because he is really interesting.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26I'm sure he is... I'm sure you're all fascinating.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29But Jess, our sympathies lie particularly with you
0:35:29 > 0:35:32because of the devastating disappearance of your sister Jennifer.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Ah, you should talk to Maureen. Um...
0:35:36 > 0:35:38Her son lives in a cage.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42But Jess, let's focus on you... It's OK.
0:35:44 > 0:35:45Were you close?
0:35:45 > 0:35:50Penny, why don't you ask someone else a question?
0:35:50 > 0:35:53My old co-host still trying to co-host me there.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56Jess, tell me, was that what drove you up there?
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Jennifer's disappearance? It must have been so painful.
0:36:00 > 0:36:06I can see you're getting upset. You must have felt so alone.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09I said talk to Maureen, bitch!
0:36:09 > 0:36:11Many apologies. As you can see...
0:36:11 > 0:36:13Why didn't you fucking listen to me?!
0:36:13 > 0:36:15I told you to fucking listen to me.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18Jess! Jess, come back!
0:36:42 > 0:36:43It's you!
0:36:43 > 0:36:48Hey, I was just checking to see if you're, uh...you're OK.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Yeah, never better, champ.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55That right?
0:36:58 > 0:37:00You going to keep following me?
0:37:01 > 0:37:03You know where you're going?
0:37:03 > 0:37:07Yeah, I know where I'm going, I'm going where I always go.
0:37:07 > 0:37:08Yeah?
0:37:11 > 0:37:15Can you walk beside me, not behind me, cos my ass isn't my best feature.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18Yeah, you, uh...you mentioned that.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25This is where she parks it.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- Parks what? - Mum's car.
0:37:28 > 0:37:29My car.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32It was going to be my car when Jen went to university.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Found the car... Didn't find her.
0:37:40 > 0:37:41You know, just gone.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Perhaps she learned how to be invisible.
0:37:47 > 0:37:48It must be tough.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53My dad organised this nationwide search.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55Really really got into it.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59Mum...from the beginning, just gave up hope.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06Anyway...at least I don't have cancer.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Yeah... Yeah...
0:38:19 > 0:38:21You don't have cancer, do you?
0:38:21 > 0:38:22What?
0:38:24 > 0:38:26I can see it. I can tell.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29If I look healthy, it's because of the drug regimen I'm on right now.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31I've never seen you take a single pill.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Well, the drug regimen is pretty minimal.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38JJ...I'm a professional liar.
0:38:38 > 0:38:39You're not even a competent one.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49It just came out, you know... I wanted to...
0:38:49 > 0:38:51I couldn't take it back, so...
0:38:55 > 0:38:57You were going to jump, weren't you?
0:38:57 > 0:39:00- You weren't just delivering pizzas and then you got too polite. - Yes, I was...
0:39:00 > 0:39:02I was gonna jump, yeah.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Why?
0:39:04 > 0:39:07Why? Um...
0:39:07 > 0:39:09It's a simple enough question, JJ.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14You're a paedophile! Like Martin!
0:39:14 > 0:39:18What are the chances of that?
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Four suicidalists, one roof, two of them paedophiles,
0:39:22 > 0:39:25That's practically a convention.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28I know, I shouldn't have lied. It's just...
0:39:28 > 0:39:32cancer seemed...easier.
0:39:34 > 0:39:35You're a strange guy, JJ.
0:39:39 > 0:39:40Fuck it. I'm stranger.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44I like coming, hang out the place where my sister disappeared.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Look.
0:39:48 > 0:39:49What?
0:39:50 > 0:39:55Swifts. You know my favourite thing about swifts?
0:39:55 > 0:39:57They nest on the wing.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00They're born and then they're fed and...
0:40:00 > 0:40:03the moment they leave the birth place, they don't come down for two years
0:40:03 > 0:40:06until they're ready to trade other baby swifts.
0:40:06 > 0:40:07Oh, my gosh...
0:40:11 > 0:40:16You're a bird watcher! That's why you wanted to kill yourself...
0:40:17 > 0:40:20You know, I understand now.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
0:40:23 > 0:40:24Good, good.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38One elephant. Two elephants...
0:40:38 > 0:40:43Three elephants. Four elephants...
0:40:45 > 0:40:48One elephant. Two elephants...
0:40:48 > 0:40:51- Three elephants... - ALARM BUZZES
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Fuck!
0:40:53 > 0:40:56'My first band was called Geppetto.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59'We were a grunge band, after grunge had long been forgotten.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03'Timing has never been my strong suit.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06'We came third in the Idaho state Battle of the Bands.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10'We got our pictures in the paper. And I was recognised in the mall.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13'For me, that was fame.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16'But fame like this. The "Topper House Four".'
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Suicide again, then, is it?
0:41:20 > 0:41:23- Hi, Gladys... - There's press still about.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Yeah.
0:41:37 > 0:41:40'In a mere three weeks we not only not died,
0:41:40 > 0:41:42'but we've been on the front pages of all the tabloids
0:41:42 > 0:41:47'and led many people to believe again in the existence of angels.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49'Or at least Jess had.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52'We even had questions asked about us in parliament,
0:41:52 > 0:41:56'though that might have been just to embarrass Jess' dad.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59'It was Martin who suggested getting away.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01'He said we'd be like Butch and Sundance.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05'Jess reminded him that didn't work out so well for them.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08'But it seemed like a good idea, get away and hope
0:42:08 > 0:42:11'that by the time we got back
0:42:11 > 0:42:13'we'd be forgotten and the world would be a kinder place...
0:42:13 > 0:42:15'to us and for us.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18'I wish I had thought life a better option than death.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22'but I didn't and wishing wasn't going to fix it.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25'To quote one of Geppetto's songs -
0:42:25 > 0:42:30'"I don't mind the pain. It's the hope that kills me."
0:42:30 > 0:42:32'Yeah, we were pretty deep.'
0:42:32 > 0:42:34OK, fiver says punches the end of the holiday.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37- Punches? - Like kicks, or slaps, or tickles.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40One of us will use physical violence against one of the others, before the week's out.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43- OK.- This holiday is going to be disaster.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46- I hope so.- So who's looking after Matty, Maureen?
0:42:46 > 0:42:49No-one she's just left food in the fridge and some wet wipes by the bed.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52I'm sure the break would do you both a world of good.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55Yeah, that's what Dr Stephens said. He's taking him for a week's observation.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Your boarding pass, ma'am.
0:42:57 > 0:42:59Your boarding pass with your flight details on it.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02You were handed it at check-in.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04- This?- And your passport.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06OK.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16There you go.
0:43:22 > 0:43:23Thank you very much.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25Maureen? Maureen!
0:43:25 > 0:43:28- Uh, no, sorry, you can't go back. - Maureen, stop!
0:43:28 > 0:43:29It's just a trip!
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Just a trip till all this press nonsense blows over.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36- It's just for the best. - I know, it's just all too much.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37I don't know you.
0:43:37 > 0:43:42And I don't travel well...and I've never been on a plane before.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44You've never been on a plane before?
0:43:44 > 0:43:45Shut up, Jess.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49- Maureen, if you're afraid of flying...- I'm not afraid of flying,
0:43:49 > 0:43:52it's just um... I didn't want to be in the papers,
0:43:52 > 0:43:55and I didn't want to be on TV and I don't want to be here now. I just...
0:43:56 > 0:43:59I just want to go back to my old life, OK?
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Well, your old life wasn't very good. Maureen.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05Look, we made a pact.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10TANNOY: 'This is the final call, that's the final call for flight 0342 to Tenerife.
0:44:10 > 0:44:14'Will all remaining passengers please make their way to Gate C38...'
0:44:14 > 0:44:15It's gonna be fine.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19Come on.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24MUSIC: I Found You by Alabama Shakes
0:44:49 > 0:44:51To a good holiday!
0:44:52 > 0:44:56Good afternoon! My name is Angelo and I will be your waiter.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59Well, sometimes I will. Other times I will be theirs.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Just a joke. But real, but a joke.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05Hello, Angelo.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07So, you're from England? How nice.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09Yeah, you knew that, Angelo, you just talked English to us.
0:45:09 > 0:45:13I did, I did... He always this clever, your husband?
0:45:13 > 0:45:16- He's not her husband. - Let me guess...
0:45:16 > 0:45:18- You're all lovers, right? - What?
0:45:18 > 0:45:19Yes, right. we are!
0:45:19 > 0:45:21Yes, right.
0:45:21 > 0:45:24I bring Vaseline and Maureen always brings the dildo.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27Someone told me a joke about Vaseline once,
0:45:27 > 0:45:29but I can't entirely remember.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Oh, Maureen, you must keep drinking until you remember...
0:45:34 > 0:45:35We're happy.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54Oh...the sun is so fierce.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56And the sea is so sparkly and blue...
0:45:56 > 0:45:59Oh, Maureen, tell me that you've seen the sea before?
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Yes, I've seen the sea before.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03Hey, are we going in?
0:46:03 > 0:46:04- No.- Of course we are!
0:46:04 > 0:46:08- But we're not on our swimming costumes!- Underwear will be fine.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09You are dangerous!
0:46:09 > 0:46:12I do not want... No, no, no. Please no!
0:46:12 > 0:46:15- Come on, take it!- Are you ready? - Come on, come on, come on!
0:46:16 > 0:46:18Keep going, keep going, eh!
0:46:47 > 0:46:49Hey...hi.
0:46:50 > 0:46:51Hey.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58Maureen just called me up on the hotel phone.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00Surprised to have her own bathroom.
0:47:00 > 0:47:03She thinks this place is the height of luxury.
0:47:03 > 0:47:04Yeah, it is kinda cool, huh?
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Cheapest place I've stayed in for 20 years.
0:47:09 > 0:47:10Yeah?
0:47:10 > 0:47:16It doesn't feels strange, does it? Us, being away together.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19No...no, it feels good.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22I thought I knew what I was doing with press...and then...
0:47:22 > 0:47:24Then what? Jess smacked down?
0:47:24 > 0:47:28No, not at all, then I realised I got it all wrong, I thought people would like it.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32I thought we'd make money and people would find it
0:47:32 > 0:47:34- eccentric, and heart-warming. - Heart-warming?
0:47:34 > 0:47:37Four people survived suicide, find hope,
0:47:37 > 0:47:39blah, blah...
0:47:39 > 0:47:42I mean, it's the kind of good news story the press love.
0:47:46 > 0:47:51But... I underestimated how much they hate me.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54This is not just about you, Martin.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59You know... I envy you.
0:48:00 > 0:48:04You, your cancer, I mean it's so... cut and dry.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08No, really, really, JJ, I am so impressed with you.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10I mean, you hardly let it phase you.
0:48:10 > 0:48:14And that is something to drink to. Here you go.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Put hairs on your chest.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Your health.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30You know what I feel when I wake up in the mornings?
0:48:33 > 0:48:34Humiliated.
0:48:36 > 0:48:40Do you know what I feel at lunchtime? Humiliated.
0:48:41 > 0:48:45My life is a constant stream of humiliation.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49I don't feel sad, I don't feel angry, I just feel...
0:48:49 > 0:48:51humiliated.
0:48:53 > 0:48:54Yeah...
0:48:55 > 0:48:57To humiliation.
0:49:01 > 0:49:05OK. God gives you three wishes.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08Ah! God is not a tombola machine, Martin.
0:49:08 > 0:49:13- He doesn't just give wishes. - Three wishes. Anything you want.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16That's easy. Billions of pounds, and...
0:49:16 > 0:49:18My own personal hit man, and...
0:49:20 > 0:49:22A court waiver over anything I want to do.
0:49:24 > 0:49:25Really?
0:49:26 > 0:49:30I... I want a bit more...help.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33A bit more of a...life.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36What's a bit more of a life?
0:49:36 > 0:49:39Just what other people...have.
0:49:39 > 0:49:40What do other people have?
0:49:42 > 0:49:45And I wish my son all better. That's why I don't do wishes.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51I'd want to be famous again. The right kind of famous.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53I mean, being famous is great.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56Everyone thinks it's difficult, but it's not.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58I mean, you get to have best seats in restaurants,
0:49:58 > 0:50:01People smile at you on planes... it's great.
0:50:01 > 0:50:05Whatever you do, you feel vindicated by your own fame.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08And you never...ever feel humiliated.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14Well, certainly better than real life.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17Wow, you're so deep.
0:50:17 > 0:50:21- No, just honest. - Martin, it's...
0:50:21 > 0:50:24What? You're nothing if you're not noticed.
0:50:24 > 0:50:25OK, fame or your kids?
0:50:27 > 0:50:29- Hmmm. - C'mon, you don't mean that.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31Don't I?
0:50:31 > 0:50:33OK, this is a bad game.
0:50:40 > 0:50:45OK...wonder what JJ would choose, as his three wishes,
0:50:45 > 0:50:49cos obviously you'd want to cure your cancer, for a start.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Now, I'm gonna go use the restroom.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57Then you'd probably want loads of money so
0:50:57 > 0:51:00that you could donate it to cancer research.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02You know other people are allowed to be in pain.
0:51:02 > 0:51:03You know that, Jess?
0:51:08 > 0:51:12- ANGELO:- Hey, es amigos ingleses, how are we doing tonight?
0:51:14 > 0:51:17No, leave it. He'll be fine.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20- Peachy, Angelo, peachy. - Great! Keep drinking.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29You're sitting in my seat.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30What?
0:51:30 > 0:51:35I'd find another seat, but you're also sitting on my shawl.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37Oh, shit, sorry...um.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49You know, I think I recognise you from somewhere.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54Yeah .. There's this thing...
0:51:54 > 0:51:57May have been in the papers a bit recently, so.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01No, that's not it.
0:52:01 > 0:52:02Oh.
0:52:05 > 0:52:06Are you in a band?
0:52:08 > 0:52:10- What? - Yes, you supported Alt J.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13- Yeah!- Manchester Towers! - Two years ago.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15It was the first time we came to Britain.
0:52:15 > 0:52:19- You're the frontman, right?- Yeah. - I remember loving your lyrics.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23Really? Yeah, wow! You know, I wrote those.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Adolescent shit, mostly.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Are you still serious about it?
0:52:30 > 0:52:34- Ah... I was, now, not so. - What's your name?
0:52:36 > 0:52:39- JJ. - Which stands for?
0:52:40 > 0:52:43John Julius...
0:52:45 > 0:52:49Hi, John Julius. I'm Kathy.
0:52:49 > 0:52:50Hello, Kathy.
0:52:53 > 0:52:54Wow!
0:52:56 > 0:52:59# At first I was afraid, I was petrified
0:52:59 > 0:53:02# I kept thinking I could never live without you... #
0:53:02 > 0:53:04This is brilliant!
0:53:04 > 0:53:08I love it! She's beautiful.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- Who's that? - That, is uh...my uncle.
0:53:12 > 0:53:17- I think I recognise him. - Yeah, he's...vaguely famous.
0:53:17 > 0:53:20A failed musician with a vaguely famous uncle.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22I'm a lucky girl!
0:53:22 > 0:53:24I love it! See you later, baby.
0:53:29 > 0:53:34# ..If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
0:53:34 > 0:53:38# Now go, walk out the door... #
0:53:38 > 0:53:41- Come on, come on! - Go where?
0:53:41 > 0:53:42- We're going to dance. - No, Martin, I...
0:53:42 > 0:53:44No, no, come on!
0:53:44 > 0:53:48# Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire
0:53:48 > 0:53:50# Did you think I'd crumble?
0:53:50 > 0:53:53# Did you think I'd lay down and die?
0:53:53 > 0:53:55# Oh no, not I
0:53:55 > 0:53:58# I will survive
0:53:58 > 0:54:02# As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive
0:54:02 > 0:54:05# I've got all my life to live
0:54:05 > 0:54:08# I've got all my love to give
0:54:08 > 0:54:10# I will survive
0:54:10 > 0:54:13# I will survive Yeah yeah. #
0:54:15 > 0:54:16So...you're out here on your own?
0:54:16 > 0:54:21Hm-hm. Other people just crowd it and make it about themselves.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25So, you're here with family, and your uncle...
0:54:25 > 0:54:31Um...yes, a bit of family, friends, sort of.
0:54:33 > 0:54:34But you don't like them?
0:54:34 > 0:54:37I mean, you ran away from them at the bar.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41No, it's just that they can be a little...a little intense.
0:54:41 > 0:54:46Hm-hm. And you don't like intense?
0:54:48 > 0:54:54No... I can't really talk, because I'm intense.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56Good.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00Because if you're looking for a neurosis-free girl,
0:55:00 > 0:55:01you're bang out of luck.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04- Oh, yeah?- Yeah. - Really?- Yeah.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08I once set fire to my hair, just to see what would happen.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11I was ten and it didn't improve my look.
0:55:11 > 0:55:16Oh, that's nothing. When I was a kid, I jumped off our roof,
0:55:16 > 0:55:19just to see if I could hurt myself.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23And, yeah, I broke my leg... And I didn't like it.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25OK, well how's this for psycho?
0:55:25 > 0:55:28I carved my ex-boyfriend's initials
0:55:28 > 0:55:31into my left inner thigh, as a way of telling him
0:55:31 > 0:55:34that no-one else would ever see that. Beat that!
0:55:34 > 0:55:40Easy. I recently told some people that I had cancer
0:55:40 > 0:55:43to avoid telling them the real reason
0:55:43 > 0:55:47I had for attempting suicide.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50That is intense. What was the real reason?
0:55:50 > 0:55:54I... I don't know.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56I do know that I am now part of a pact
0:55:56 > 0:56:01- that I had to lie to become... - What pact?
0:56:03 > 0:56:08Just, uh...just a bunch of desperate people being desperate together,
0:56:08 > 0:56:11as a way of feeling a little less desperate.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16OK, you win the psycho game.
0:56:16 > 0:56:20Good, good... Well, I've always wanted to win that game.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39I haven't done this for a while, so...
0:57:22 > 0:57:24- OK, now I'm gonna say something. - Oh, fuck!
0:57:24 > 0:57:27Because if I wait and say nothing and you spot me after you've pissed,
0:57:27 > 0:57:30- I think that'd probably be worse. - Wait, how did you even...
0:57:30 > 0:57:32Just a credit card and a bit of spit.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35The hotel security is not what it should be.
0:57:35 > 0:57:38How long have you been there?
0:57:42 > 0:57:46Just really wanted to apologise...
0:57:46 > 0:57:47for earlier.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49Because I don't know why I said that.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53And then I was probably gonna try and shank you.
0:57:55 > 0:57:58She's really pretty, though. So, well done.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00- Hey...- You don't have to say anything,
0:58:00 > 0:58:04You can take that one as a compliment.
0:58:04 > 0:58:05So... I'll just leave quietly.
0:58:07 > 0:58:10- Look, Jess... - No, no, really...
0:58:10 > 0:58:12I'd prefer if you don't say anything.
0:58:14 > 0:58:17You do knows she's a journalist, though, right?
0:58:18 > 0:58:20- What?- Look in her bag.
0:58:20 > 0:58:24Cos I saw her check her recorder, in the bar.
0:58:24 > 0:58:26Oh, shit...
0:58:26 > 0:58:29Still, she fucked you, though, right?
0:58:31 > 0:58:32So at least she's thorough.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36Hey, hey.
0:58:45 > 0:58:47RECORDING: 'What pact?
0:58:47 > 0:58:51'Just a...just a bunch of desperate people being desperate together
0:58:51 > 0:58:55'as a way of feeling less desperate...'
0:58:55 > 0:58:58# Shadows settle on the place that you left
0:59:00 > 0:59:04# Our minds are troubled by the emptiness
0:59:07 > 0:59:11# Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time
0:59:12 > 0:59:16# From the perfect start to the finish line.... #
0:59:19 > 0:59:20HE YELLS
0:59:20 > 0:59:24# And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
0:59:24 > 0:59:29# Cos most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs
0:59:30 > 0:59:35# Setting fire to our insides for fun
0:59:35 > 0:59:40# Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
0:59:41 > 0:59:43# The lovers that went wrong
1:00:02 > 1:00:03# We are the reckless
1:00:03 > 1:00:05# We are the wild youth
1:00:07 > 1:00:09# Chasing visions of our futures
1:00:18 > 1:00:20# And you caused it
1:00:25 > 1:00:26# You caused it. #
1:00:39 > 1:00:41I think it's sweet.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43I think it's unsanitary.
1:00:43 > 1:00:47No, only part of you thinks that, other part of you thinks that it's sweet.
1:00:47 > 1:00:49Oh...
1:00:49 > 1:00:51- Why are you waiting here?- I'm waiting for them to finish this tray
1:00:51 > 1:00:54of scrambled eggs and bring in a new tray.
1:00:54 > 1:00:57Scrambled eggs are never fresh, Martin.
1:00:57 > 1:01:00I may not have been on a lot of holidays, but I've been in lot of hospitals,
1:01:00 > 1:01:04and I understand institutional catering.
1:01:04 > 1:01:07Who are all these people? And why do they eat so much?
1:01:07 > 1:01:09They're having a good time, that's all.
1:01:13 > 1:01:15- Martin?- Hm?
1:01:15 > 1:01:19Thank you for arranging this holiday. I think it's been good for me.
1:01:19 > 1:01:23You really don't understand what a disaster we all are, do you?
1:01:23 > 1:01:26Come on, let's get you some breakfast.
1:01:26 > 1:01:28Yes, good idea. Good idea...
1:01:28 > 1:01:31- The prunes are very good. - Don't like prunes.
1:01:51 > 1:01:53- Hey.- Hi.
1:01:53 > 1:01:57Oh, good morning, JJ. Might have said some stupid things last night.
1:01:57 > 1:02:00Drink has never been my best friend, sorry about that.
1:02:00 > 1:02:02So, I got a few things to say...
1:02:02 > 1:02:05and I don't think you're gonna like...any of them.
1:02:05 > 1:02:07Are you going back to America?
1:02:07 > 1:02:14I'm gonna start with the biggest... Um, I don't have cancer of the brain.
1:02:14 > 1:02:17- I don't have CCR. - Oh, they've cured you!
1:02:17 > 1:02:22No, Maureen, I never had it. I made it all up.
1:02:24 > 1:02:27There's actually no such thing as CCR.
1:02:27 > 1:02:29Just Creedence Clearwater Revival,
1:02:29 > 1:02:31one of my favourite bands, but...
1:02:31 > 1:02:33I wasn't gonna say anything.
1:02:33 > 1:02:36- Did you know about this? - I thought there was something strange.
1:02:36 > 1:02:39So, why? Why, JJ, were you up there?
1:02:39 > 1:02:42- He can't answer that, that's personal.- I'm sure he had good reasons.
1:02:42 > 1:02:44Oh, did he? JJ, did you?
1:02:44 > 1:02:46Yes. Um...
1:02:47 > 1:02:51Actually, uh, we need to postpone this conversation.
1:02:51 > 1:02:56We had a pact. I trusted you, I liked you!
1:02:56 > 1:03:00Martin, please, just sit down. We'll talk about this another time.
1:03:00 > 1:03:02- Another time, I mean what time.. - Hey, where were you?...
1:03:02 > 1:03:05Oh, right, great. We'll stop for your girlfriend, do we!
1:03:05 > 1:03:11She's not my girlfriend, OK? She is...a journalist.
1:03:11 > 1:03:13- What?- Look, I didn't know.
1:03:13 > 1:03:15You don't know much, do you?
1:03:15 > 1:03:17If he didn't know, he didn't know.
1:03:17 > 1:03:19We've had bad things written about us before...
1:03:19 > 1:03:22Look, I understand that you're angry, but, please,
1:03:22 > 1:03:25Martin, I'm feeling pretty humiliated.
1:03:25 > 1:03:26You don't understand anything!
1:03:26 > 1:03:29- You certainly don't understand humiliation!- Martin, you're being dramatic.
1:03:29 > 1:03:32You're a fake, you're a fraud! You're a jerk. JJ!
1:03:32 > 1:03:34- Martin, stop this! - John...
1:03:34 > 1:03:36Who the fuck is John?
1:03:36 > 1:03:39I'm! I'm John! And you know what?
1:03:39 > 1:03:42- I'm not a fraud!- Stop it! Remember the pact!
1:03:42 > 1:03:44Fuck the pact!
1:03:44 > 1:03:46SHOUTS MERGE INTO MUSIC
1:04:51 > 1:04:53Good morning, sunshine.
1:04:54 > 1:04:55Hello, sweetheart.
1:04:57 > 1:04:59Hello, sleepy head.
1:05:00 > 1:05:02How are you?
1:05:02 > 1:05:04Good morning. All right, here we go...
1:05:05 > 1:05:09.Not having Matty with me on the holiday, it felt like I was missing a leg.
1:05:10 > 1:05:13'Strange... Light...
1:05:14 > 1:05:17'That's probably not like missing a leg at all.
1:05:17 > 1:05:19'I don't imagine most people's first impression
1:05:19 > 1:05:21'of leg loss is weightlessness.'
1:05:28 > 1:05:30How's that?
1:05:30 > 1:05:32There we are.
1:05:34 > 1:05:35TV ON
1:05:35 > 1:05:39'I missed him most when the plane was landing.
1:05:39 > 1:05:41'We shook a little on descent.
1:05:41 > 1:05:45'Thought I was going to die... and I hadn't say goodbye.'
1:06:04 > 1:06:06'JJ's girlfriend's piece meant the story,
1:06:06 > 1:06:09'our story, didn't die.
1:06:10 > 1:06:12'But Martin said concentrate on being boring
1:06:12 > 1:06:16'and they'd eventually leave us alone. So that's what I did.
1:06:16 > 1:06:18'Not difficult.
1:06:18 > 1:06:20And as for the others, as soon as we landed,
1:06:20 > 1:06:23'we scattered in different directions,
1:06:23 > 1:06:25'like we were allergic to each other.
1:06:27 > 1:06:29'The pact was broken beyond repair
1:06:29 > 1:06:33'and without the pact, our friendship was broken, too.
1:06:35 > 1:06:38'I still saw them. Patchily, every now and again.
1:06:40 > 1:06:43'I saw Jess in places she shouldn't be.
1:06:45 > 1:06:48'And I did make a little effort to find JJ.
1:06:50 > 1:06:51'Just to check if he was OK.'
1:06:51 > 1:06:53Ah, JJ, I can't believe!
1:06:53 > 1:06:56Fantastic, good!
1:07:00 > 1:07:02'I never saw Martin.'
1:07:07 > 1:07:09'Though, mostly I got on with my life...
1:07:10 > 1:07:12'And hoped they get on with theirs.'
1:07:26 > 1:07:29Matty did really well.
1:07:29 > 1:07:31We did some interesting reflex work.
1:07:32 > 1:07:35Nice to have him properly looked after for once.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38He reacted well to company.
1:07:38 > 1:07:40Sure he loved a change from my flat.
1:07:40 > 1:07:43And we couldn't get him out of this pool.
1:07:43 > 1:07:45Yes, he's always loved water.
1:07:45 > 1:07:46There might be a slot for him
1:07:46 > 1:07:49to come to one of my weekly sessions, if you'd like it.
1:07:51 > 1:07:53Oh, I'm sure he'd love it.
1:07:53 > 1:07:55I'll add him to the list.
1:07:57 > 1:07:59You look like, you caught a bit of colour.
1:08:00 > 1:08:01Do I?
1:08:04 > 1:08:08You know, from the pictures in the papers...
1:08:08 > 1:08:11it looked like you picked a very nice spot.
1:08:13 > 1:08:16Yes. Well...
1:08:52 > 1:08:53SHE SINGS SOFTLY
1:09:08 > 1:09:11# Two and two are four
1:09:12 > 1:09:16# Four and four are eight
1:09:17 > 1:09:21# Eight and eight are 16...
1:09:23 > 1:09:25# 16...16...32... #
1:09:50 > 1:09:53Matty? Matty?
1:09:55 > 1:09:56Matty?
1:09:58 > 1:10:01No... No.
1:10:06 > 1:10:07PHONE DIALS AND RINGS
1:10:07 > 1:10:09Matty?
1:10:12 > 1:10:13Matty!
1:10:26 > 1:10:28..we'll let you know as soon as possible.
1:11:05 > 1:11:07- Hey, Maureen. - Oh...
1:11:23 > 1:11:26Oh...you came, too.
1:11:26 > 1:11:30Yes, nothing on TV. Er, this is my dad.
1:11:31 > 1:11:34Drove me... Probably say something very moving.
1:11:34 > 1:11:37I'm sorry to hear about your son, Maureen.
1:11:37 > 1:11:39Not one of his best attempts!
1:11:41 > 1:11:46I'm really grateful you're all...you're all here.
1:11:46 > 1:11:47Of course we're here!
1:11:53 > 1:11:54This isn't tea.
1:11:54 > 1:11:57- I know, it's hot chocolate. - I asked for tea.
1:11:57 > 1:11:59I was buying, and I don't like the smell of tea.
1:11:59 > 1:12:01So when you buy rounds in pubs?
1:12:01 > 1:12:04Pitchers, then you never have to buy a round ever again.
1:12:04 > 1:12:08It's clever, right? Is JJ still not here, then?
1:12:08 > 1:12:12No. I couldn't get through to him. Probably not picked up his messages.
1:12:12 > 1:12:14Yeah, it's either that or he doesn't really care.
1:12:14 > 1:12:17I genuinely don't know how you've survived her.
1:12:17 > 1:12:19Ear plugs.
1:12:19 > 1:12:22- I'm going to make you go and sit in the car in a minute. - Ear plugs and pink gin.
1:12:23 > 1:12:29He wasn't the reason I was up there. Matty. He wasn't.
1:12:31 > 1:12:32No?
1:12:33 > 1:12:36There were lots of reason I was up on that roof...
1:12:37 > 1:12:39You once asked me why, Jess?
1:12:41 > 1:12:44And, I said I felt... I felt helpless.
1:12:50 > 1:12:54But the truth is I've not done a list for living
1:12:54 > 1:12:56and a list for...
1:12:56 > 1:13:00It was a feeling, not a thought.
1:13:03 > 1:13:05But not one of those reasons...
1:13:07 > 1:13:12..was that I didn't love my son. Not one of them, not one.
1:13:18 > 1:13:20Maureen, we know that.
1:13:28 > 1:13:33Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me.
1:13:33 > 1:13:36No, no, no, He's fine... Maureen, he's fine.
1:13:36 > 1:13:38What?
1:13:38 > 1:13:42We're gonna keep monitoring him but he's no longer critical.
1:13:42 > 1:13:44He'll be fine.
1:13:44 > 1:13:46- He'll be fine? - He'll be fine.
1:13:46 > 1:13:47OK.
1:13:49 > 1:13:51The tubes look worse than they are.
1:13:51 > 1:13:54We'll remove some tonight. The rest hopefully will be up tomorrow.
1:13:55 > 1:13:58I should have seen it coming.
1:13:58 > 1:14:00If he'd had proper care...
1:14:00 > 1:14:03Maureen...you saved him.
1:14:04 > 1:14:06It was a myocardial infarction.
1:14:08 > 1:14:11He had a heart attack of sorts.
1:14:11 > 1:14:13His symptoms were almost invisible.
1:14:14 > 1:14:15I didn't notice it.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18I was monitoring him and I...
1:14:19 > 1:14:24But you caught it... you saved his life.
1:14:29 > 1:14:31Matty is a very lucky boy to have you.
1:14:33 > 1:14:35I only had one thought...
1:14:37 > 1:14:38When he...
1:14:40 > 1:14:42If he dies...
1:14:42 > 1:14:43I die.
1:14:45 > 1:14:47Well, he lived.
1:14:51 > 1:14:56And maybe he feels the same way about you as you do about him.
1:14:58 > 1:14:59Have you ever considered that?
1:15:06 > 1:15:07INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
1:15:10 > 1:15:12- - It's Valentine's day. - Hm-hm.
1:15:12 > 1:15:14- Martin?- Yeah?
1:15:14 > 1:15:16- Today is Valentine's day?- Good.
1:15:16 > 1:15:19Martin? Breakfast TV has completely messed up your brain, hasn't it?
1:15:19 > 1:15:21- Come on.- Oh, JJ, the pact!
1:15:21 > 1:15:23Get Maureen, I'll find JJ now.
1:15:23 > 1:15:25Yeah. Oh, shit!
1:15:47 > 1:15:50- Have you seen JJ? - JJ is gone.
1:15:51 > 1:15:53- Gone?- Yeah, he's a prick.
1:15:53 > 1:15:56He left over a week ago, didn't even serve notice!
1:15:56 > 1:15:59That prick you're talking about, Paulo,
1:15:59 > 1:16:03happens to be my daughter's friend.
1:16:03 > 1:16:05And you'd do well to remember that.
1:16:13 > 1:16:15You are called Paulo, aren't you?
1:16:15 > 1:16:20Um...just that it says Paulo's Place outside, and you...
1:16:20 > 1:16:24certainly sound Italian... You look Italian and...
1:16:26 > 1:16:28Love your tats.
1:16:28 > 1:16:30Come on, Dad.
1:16:37 > 1:16:43- WOMAN:- 'Hello?'- Oh, yes, hi, hi, I'm looking for JJ.
1:16:43 > 1:16:45- 'Who?'- John, John Julius.
1:17:06 > 1:17:07Oh, JJ...
1:18:19 > 1:18:21I hoped you wouldn't be up here.
1:18:23 > 1:18:26Did you know that three people have killed themselves from this building,
1:18:26 > 1:18:28between New Year's and today?
1:18:31 > 1:18:35Sue Chalmlin, housewife, and manic depressive...
1:18:37 > 1:18:41David Frommet, a banker who lost everything, and...
1:18:41 > 1:18:45Ben Peterson...he was only 15.
1:18:45 > 1:18:49So you're going to...join them?
1:18:49 > 1:18:51I kept to the pact, Martin, OK?
1:18:51 > 1:18:55This, me, it's none of your business now.
1:18:55 > 1:18:57True.
1:18:57 > 1:19:00Why though, JJ? Why are you up here?
1:19:02 > 1:19:06That's the thing... Martin, I didn't lie to you.
1:19:06 > 1:19:11- I don't know.- You don't know?
1:19:11 > 1:19:14And that makes my reason better than any of yours.
1:19:14 > 1:19:17I wasn't aware that this was a competition.
1:19:17 > 1:19:22You see... What Jess needs is to feel important...
1:19:22 > 1:19:27Maureen needs to feel loved...
1:19:28 > 1:19:32And you, you just need to...grow a brain.
1:19:34 > 1:19:36Fair enough.
1:19:36 > 1:19:41So you can solve your problems, but me, I can't.
1:19:41 > 1:19:45Martin, Martin, stop. Martin, just stop walking.
1:19:45 > 1:19:47Three steps and I'm gone.
1:19:49 > 1:19:50Oh, God...
1:19:50 > 1:19:53Look, I'm just...
1:19:53 > 1:19:57I'm just tired of...
1:19:57 > 1:20:01Of being scared all the time not knowing why.
1:20:01 > 1:20:05I'm tired of being...trying to change...
1:20:05 > 1:20:07and not knowing how...
1:20:08 > 1:20:11You know, leaving my last shit band,
1:20:11 > 1:20:13moving countries.
1:20:16 > 1:20:19Because however much I do, change...
1:20:22 > 1:20:23..I'm left with me.
1:20:29 > 1:20:33Sounds like you got it all worked out, JJ. It's logical.
1:20:33 > 1:20:37The reason why you want to die is because you don't wanna live.
1:20:37 > 1:20:41It's as simple as that, right? I used to think like that, too.
1:20:41 > 1:20:43JJ!
1:20:47 > 1:20:50- And then there were four.- Don't you get it? I mean, we made it!
1:20:50 > 1:20:54All right, we all made it to Valentine's day and nothing...
1:20:54 > 1:20:56Nothing, absolutely nothing has changed!
1:20:56 > 1:20:59- But...everything has changed. - What?
1:21:00 > 1:21:02Everything.
1:21:02 > 1:21:07We are standing in entirely different positions, for one thing.
1:21:07 > 1:21:10I didn't ever wanna be up here again, JJ.
1:21:10 > 1:21:13- I'm pretty sure none of us did. - He's right.
1:21:13 > 1:21:15You know, it's shit up here.
1:21:17 > 1:21:20I hope, I think...
1:21:20 > 1:21:22we still matter to you, JJ.
1:21:23 > 1:21:25I mean why else would you pick Valentine's day?
1:21:28 > 1:21:33You may think you want to die... but you knew we'd look for you.
1:21:36 > 1:21:39We're not up here because we want to die, we're here for you.
1:21:39 > 1:21:42The Topper House Four.
1:21:42 > 1:21:44We belong together, we're a team.
1:21:44 > 1:21:47I mean, we're the worst team the world has ever known, and if I was picking,
1:21:47 > 1:21:50I mean, none of you would have made it on to the subs bench.
1:21:50 > 1:21:52But still...we're a team.
1:21:56 > 1:21:59I know, it's not much, son...
1:22:01 > 1:22:07But...maybe...we're a start.
1:22:21 > 1:22:23You can't even see the bottom.
1:22:45 > 1:22:47Hello?
1:22:48 > 1:22:50Hello?
1:22:51 > 1:22:53Can anybody hear me?
1:22:53 > 1:22:56- We can hear you and see you, Martin. - Bonsoir, Martin.
1:22:56 > 1:22:58Where's the button for this?
1:22:58 > 1:23:00Oh, hiya!
1:23:00 > 1:23:03Maureen, is that glitter on your face?
1:23:03 > 1:23:08No, no, no, that is... Yes... Matty, seems to like glitter
1:23:08 > 1:23:13and we're having a kind of... well, New Year's party!
1:23:13 > 1:23:15Maureen, you rager!
1:23:15 > 1:23:19Jess! Please, trying to keep the noise down out here! OK, sh.
1:23:19 > 1:23:23It was Dr Stephen's, er, Robert's idea, actually.
1:23:23 > 1:23:27He's been hugely helpful, in return for me joining his quiz team.
1:23:27 > 1:23:29Which has caused much controversy
1:23:29 > 1:23:33because I was supposed to join another quiz team and it's just kind of complicated
1:23:33 > 1:23:34Sounds complicated.
1:23:34 > 1:23:36I saw your dad got promoted, Jess?
1:23:36 > 1:23:40OK, we must have better news than that, come on, somebody say something. Martin?
1:23:40 > 1:23:42Why don't you stoke up this party?
1:23:42 > 1:23:46When you tell us about some of your recent bedtime conquests.
1:23:46 > 1:23:51Well, I'm often asleep by ten. On my own... Exhausted.
1:23:51 > 1:23:54Are children famous for getting up early in the morning?
1:23:54 > 1:23:56I had no idea.
1:23:56 > 1:24:00God, when did we turn into Little Houses on the fucking Prairie?
1:24:00 > 1:24:03I missed you... All.
1:24:03 > 1:24:07You know, I got.. I got something to say. My therapist...
1:24:07 > 1:24:09Therapist? There we go, that's some news!
1:24:09 > 1:24:12Did you all know that JJ is officially mad?
1:24:12 > 1:24:14Jess, you see a therapist too.
1:24:14 > 1:24:17Yeah, of course, but all the best people are mad in my opinion.
1:24:17 > 1:24:22My therapist told me a story, true story, about this guy who
1:24:22 > 1:24:25survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
1:24:25 > 1:24:27That's an anecdote, it's not strictly news.
1:24:27 > 1:24:28The moment he jumped,
1:24:28 > 1:24:32he realised that the only thing in his life that he couldn't fix
1:24:32 > 1:24:34was the thing he'd just done.
1:24:34 > 1:24:39I mean can you imagine, those five seconds as he fell.
1:24:39 > 1:24:41The agony of that.
1:24:41 > 1:24:47Well, to me it feels like I fell... without falling.
1:24:47 > 1:24:50Because of you guys, I had my
1:24:50 > 1:24:55five seconds up on that roof and not in the air.
1:24:55 > 1:25:00Mmh... Five seconds.
1:25:00 > 1:25:03We each gave each other five seconds.
1:25:03 > 1:25:05I like that, JJ.
1:25:05 > 1:25:08Then five seconds turned into a year.
1:25:08 > 1:25:12Into a life sentence.
1:25:12 > 1:25:15You people make me want to kill myself.
1:25:17 > 1:25:20- Maureen, coming?- No, no, I'm just talking to my friends.
1:25:20 > 1:25:23It's almost midnight, and we're doing the lambada. Come on.
1:25:23 > 1:25:25Maureen, what are you going? Maureen!
1:25:25 > 1:25:29- Happy New Year! - OK... What just happened?
1:25:29 > 1:25:32Did Maureen just made us look like we're the square ones?
1:25:32 > 1:25:36Remember, you're the one who accused her of having too many cats.
1:25:36 > 1:25:39- Time to sign off. - Happy New Year, Jess.
1:25:39 > 1:25:40Happy New Year, Martin.
1:25:42 > 1:25:45Happy New Year, Jess.
1:25:45 > 1:25:48Happy New Year, John Julius.
1:25:54 > 1:25:58We could go to a party, you know,
1:25:58 > 1:26:02in case you were worried about being upstaged by Maureen.
1:26:02 > 1:26:05That's just the problem, though, isn't it?
1:26:05 > 1:26:09- I don't don't really want to go to a party.- Yeah.
1:26:09 > 1:26:10I think you've broken me!
1:26:12 > 1:26:15- Don't...smile. - No?
1:26:15 > 1:26:18- I will kill you... - I know.- ..if you smile...
1:26:28 > 1:26:31Come on. Up to bed, sleepyhead.
1:26:31 > 1:26:33There you go.
1:26:38 > 1:26:40Oh, yes, there you go.
1:26:40 > 1:26:44Is it midnight yet, Daddy?
1:26:44 > 1:26:49Yes, it is. You made it.
1:26:49 > 1:26:52Another new year.
1:26:52 > 1:26:53Here we go.