0:00:07 > 0:00:10This is a bootleg television wake-up call.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Do not adjust your set.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Repeat - do not adjust your set.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17Normal service will not be resumed.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Welcome to the permanent night shift.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Keith Richards at the controls, calling all night owls and hipsters.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28This is a reality hacking incident.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31For the next nine hours you're invited to ride with me.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Through the night and out the other side.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37A random night-flight across uncharted airwaves.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Fasten your safety belts, the weekend starts here.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Culture jamming in progress.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Good evening and welcome.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Later on we shall be talking with John Betjeman and Nicol Williamson
0:00:51 > 0:00:53about a subject that concerns us all.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56But first, a first.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59The first performance of the Rolling Stones by the Rolling Stones
0:00:59 > 0:01:02in a television studio for over a year.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04The song is from their new LP Beggars Banquet
0:01:04 > 0:01:07and it's called Sympathy For The Devil.
0:01:07 > 0:01:11Will you welcome, please, Mr Mick Jagger, Mr Keith Richards,
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Mr Brian Jones, Mr Charlie Watts and Mr Bill Wyman
0:01:14 > 0:01:16or to give them their proper title,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19the quiet young gentleman of the Rolling Stones.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# Yeah!
0:01:26 > 0:01:29# Yeah!
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# Uh
0:01:35 > 0:01:36# Uh
0:01:39 > 0:01:43# Please allow me to introduce myself
0:01:43 > 0:01:46# I'm a man of wealth and taste
0:01:47 > 0:01:51# I've been around for a long, long year
0:01:51 > 0:01:54# Stole many a man's soul and faith
0:01:56 > 0:02:02# I was round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain
0:02:04 > 0:02:10# Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate
0:02:14 > 0:02:16# Pleased to meet you
0:02:16 > 0:02:19# Hope you guess my name
0:02:20 > 0:02:21# Hey
0:02:21 > 0:02:27# But what's puzzling you is just the nature of my game
0:02:30 > 0:02:34# Stuck around St Petersburg
0:02:34 > 0:02:37# When I saw it was a time for a change
0:02:39 > 0:02:42# Killed the Tsar and his ministers
0:02:42 > 0:02:45# Anastasia screamed in vain
0:02:47 > 0:02:48# I rode a tank
0:02:48 > 0:02:50# Held a general's rank
0:02:50 > 0:02:54# When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank
0:02:58 > 0:03:00# Pleased to meet you
0:03:00 > 0:03:02# Hope you guess my name
0:03:03 > 0:03:04# Yeah
0:03:04 > 0:03:10# But what's puzzling you is just the nature of my game
0:03:14 > 0:03:15# Watched with glee
0:03:15 > 0:03:19# While your kings and queens fought for ten decades
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# For the gods they made
0:03:21 > 0:03:25# I shouted out, "Who killed the Kennedys?"
0:03:25 > 0:03:29# And after all, it was you and me
0:03:30 > 0:03:33# Let me, please, introduce myself
0:03:33 > 0:03:37# I'm a man of wealth and taste
0:03:39 > 0:03:42# I lay traps for troubadours
0:03:42 > 0:03:45# Who get killed before they reached Bombay
0:03:49 > 0:03:51# Pleased to meet you
0:03:51 > 0:03:54# Hope you guess my name
0:03:54 > 0:03:56# Oh, yeah
0:03:56 > 0:04:02# But what's puzzling you is just the nature of my game
0:04:02 > 0:04:04# Oh, yeah
0:04:04 > 0:04:06# Get down with it, boy
0:04:40 > 0:04:42# Pleased to meet you
0:04:42 > 0:04:45# Hope you guess my name
0:04:45 > 0:04:47# Oh, yeah
0:04:47 > 0:04:54# But what's confusing you is just the nature of my game
0:04:54 > 0:04:55# Oh, beat it
0:04:55 > 0:05:00# Just as every cop is a criminal
0:05:00 > 0:05:03# And all the sinners saints
0:05:04 > 0:05:08# As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer
0:05:08 > 0:05:12# Cos I'm in need of some restraint
0:05:12 > 0:05:14# So if you meet me
0:05:14 > 0:05:16# Have some courtesy
0:05:16 > 0:05:18# Have some sympathy
0:05:18 > 0:05:21# Have some taste
0:05:21 > 0:05:25# Use all your well-learned politesse
0:05:25 > 0:05:28# Or I'll lay your soul to waste
0:05:28 > 0:05:29# Oh, yeah
0:05:32 > 0:05:34# Pleased to meet you
0:05:34 > 0:05:36# Hope you guess my name
0:05:36 > 0:05:38# Ah, yeah
0:05:38 > 0:05:44# But what's puzzling you is just the nature of my game
0:05:44 > 0:05:47# All right
0:05:47 > 0:05:48# Now get on down
0:05:51 > 0:05:53# All right
0:05:57 > 0:05:58# Oh, yeah
0:05:59 > 0:06:01# Woohoo!
0:06:01 > 0:06:03# All right
0:06:03 > 0:06:08# Ooh-ooh-ooh
0:06:08 > 0:06:10# Ooh
0:06:10 > 0:06:11# All right
0:06:11 > 0:06:14# Ooh-ooh-ooh
0:06:14 > 0:06:15# Ooh-ooh
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# Oooh, yeah
0:06:20 > 0:06:22# Ooh
0:06:23 > 0:06:24# Ooh-ooh
0:06:24 > 0:06:26# Oh, yeah
0:06:29 > 0:06:30# Oooh
0:06:34 > 0:06:35# Woohoo
0:06:38 > 0:06:41# Ah, woo
0:06:41 > 0:06:43# Woohoo
0:06:43 > 0:06:45# All right
0:06:45 > 0:06:47# Woo-hoo-hoo. #
0:06:47 > 0:06:50APPLAUSE
0:06:57 > 0:07:01The Rolling Stones with Sympathy For The Devil.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03The realisation, you know,
0:07:03 > 0:07:07especially around the time the Stones were cutting Beggars Banquet,
0:07:07 > 0:07:10The Street Fighting Man and stuff...
0:07:10 > 0:07:16it became more apparent to me that this is an incredible weapon
0:07:16 > 0:07:18if you want to use it as a weapon.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21It's probably the most subversive, potentially,
0:07:21 > 0:07:25and the most uplifting form of art there is, you know.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28But it really all depends who's hands it's in.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Ask the bloke that blew down Jericho.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33HE LAUGHS
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Seven days on five trumpets, yeah.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Sound is a very powerful thing.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40If you put some low hertz into something,
0:07:40 > 0:07:43you could actually blow down The Dorchester, you know?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45HE LAUGHS
0:07:45 > 0:07:47If you did enough of it.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59FREE-SYLE INTRO TO: Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix
0:08:34 > 0:08:39MUSIC: Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix
0:09:03 > 0:09:05# Hey, Joe
0:09:06 > 0:09:09# I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
0:09:11 > 0:09:12# Oh
0:09:15 > 0:09:17# Hey, Joe
0:09:18 > 0:09:21# I said where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29# I'm goin' way down south way down south
0:09:30 > 0:09:32# You know I shot my old lady down
0:09:32 > 0:09:34# I got to get outta here as fast as I can
0:09:38 > 0:09:41# I put down... I shot my lady
0:09:41 > 0:09:42# And I've forgotten the words
0:09:42 > 0:09:45# But I got here as fast as I can
0:09:45 > 0:09:46# Yeah! #
0:10:20 > 0:10:22We'd like to stop playing this rubbish
0:10:22 > 0:10:24and dedicate a song to the Cream
0:10:24 > 0:10:26regardless of what kind of a group they might be.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28We'd like to dedicate it to Eric Clapton,
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34MUSIC: Sunshine Of Your Love
0:11:16 > 0:11:18We're being put off the air.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45APPLAUSE
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Jimmy and I knew each other vaguely.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51He was a kind of a mystery guy.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54But from the odd times I spoke to him,
0:11:54 > 0:11:59he'd always talk to me as if he was confused about what he was doing.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01He felt like a prisoner,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04he wanted out of there,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08he felt that he'd created a monster.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10And the last conversation I had with him,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12he was intent on cutting that out
0:12:12 > 0:12:15and starting a rhythm and blues band.
0:12:15 > 0:12:21I do believe that there is some footage of what I'm talking about.
0:12:21 > 0:12:27And then in a month or two, the horrible news arrived.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29But at the same time, Jimmy and I knew that
0:12:29 > 0:12:32we were both living basically on the edge of things.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34You know what I mean?
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Is this suicide or bravado?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41HE LAUGHS
0:12:42 > 0:12:45What's the key thing that sets music apart from other art forms?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47That's a good'un.
0:12:52 > 0:12:59If you're lucky, you can not have to use the mental part so much,
0:12:59 > 0:13:03it's more from the body, more feel.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Whereas if you're painting something...
0:13:08 > 0:13:09..or writing a book...
0:13:09 > 0:13:13You see, everything else is in a frame, you know?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17You know, Mona Lisa, it's in a frame.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21You know what I mean? Or The Last Supper, it's in a frame.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24And a book is always between two covers.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Music, there ain't no frame on it.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Probably is the freest form of expression...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35..which is why millions of us love it.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Hey, you make a movie, right, you should know -
0:13:37 > 0:13:40it's going to end up on a screen. Yeah.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43You know, there's nowhere else you can show it. You know?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44HE LAUGHS
0:13:44 > 0:13:46But music, boom,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49it's just out there in the airwaves.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53MUSIC: Blues In The Night by Katie Melua
0:13:56 > 0:14:00# My mamma done told me
0:14:00 > 0:14:03# When I was in pigtails
0:14:03 > 0:14:07# My mamma done told me
0:14:07 > 0:14:10# "Hon
0:14:10 > 0:14:14# "A man is a two-face
0:14:14 > 0:14:18# "He'll give you the big eye
0:14:18 > 0:14:24# "And when the sweet talking's done
0:14:25 > 0:14:28# "A man is a two-face
0:14:28 > 0:14:30# "A worrisome thing
0:14:30 > 0:14:38# "Who'll leave you to sing the blues in the night"
0:14:40 > 0:14:44# Now the rains are fallin'
0:14:44 > 0:14:46# Hear the trains are callin'
0:14:46 > 0:14:54# Whoo-ee
0:14:54 > 0:15:01# Hear the lonesome whistle blowin' across the trestle
0:15:01 > 0:15:05# Whoo-ee
0:15:08 > 0:15:11# Ah-whoo-oo-whoo-ee
0:15:11 > 0:15:16# Clickety-clack, an echoing back
0:15:16 > 0:15:21# Blues in the night... #
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Amy, I thought, had...
0:15:26 > 0:15:28She had it all.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31You know, all she had to do was stay alive.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35It's another one of those, you know, ouch.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36You know?
0:15:37 > 0:15:41You know, all they had to... I told you not to do this at home.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Hmm.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Leonardo da Vinci as cartoons...
0:15:59 > 0:16:01..they don't move and they're not particularly funny.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04LAUGHTER
0:16:04 > 0:16:07But check this one out, it's by Tex Avery.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09LAUGHTER
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Uh, howdy, folks, y'all.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I'm a-Little Red Riding Hood, you know,
0:16:41 > 0:16:45and I'm a-taking a little nourishment to my poor old grandma.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48She lives just down the road a pinch yonder.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57Duh, folks, confidentially, I'm not the real grandma,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59I'm the wolf, see?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Course, I'm supposed to eat Red Riding Hood all up
0:17:01 > 0:17:03but I ain't going to do it.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06All I'm going to do is chase her and catch her and kiss her and hug her
0:17:06 > 0:17:08and love her and hug her and kiss her...
0:17:08 > 0:17:10HE LAUGHS ..and hug her and love her
0:17:10 > 0:17:13and kiss her and... HE LAUGHS, KNOCK AT DOOR
0:17:15 > 0:17:17HE LAUGHS Howdy, Red.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20How about a kiss for your poor old Grandma?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Mwah, mwah, mwah!
0:17:27 > 0:17:29HE CHUCKLES Kissed a cow.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Telegram for Mr Wolf.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12HORN HONKS
0:18:14 > 0:18:16HE PANTS
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Kiss me, my fool.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Well, Howdy doody, cousin. Glad to see you.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Hey, where's that pretty Red Riding Hood, huh?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Where is she, huh? Hey, Red Riding Hood. Red, Red!
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Hey, Red! Hey, hey, Red. Red, where are you?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Hey, where's that good looking babe? HE CHUCKLES
0:18:48 > 0:18:50HE WHISTLES Oh, boy, I want to hug her.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53I want to hug her and kiss her, kiss her and hug her...
0:18:54 > 0:18:59SUAVELY: Control yourself, cousin. Miss Riding Hood is not here.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02You will meet her this evening at the club.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06But remember, here in the city we do not shout and whistle
0:19:06 > 0:19:07at the ladies.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Come, now, it's top hat and tails, you know.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Oh, boy! Girls, girls. Where's the girl?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17I want to kiss a girl. I sure do love girls.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Girls, girls, I sure do love them.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21HE LAUGHS Bring on the babe.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Where's the pretty girl? Where's the pretty girl?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28APPLAUSE
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Bring on the babe.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Where's the pretty...
0:19:34 > 0:19:37# All the chicks are crazy for a certain burly wolf
0:19:37 > 0:19:40# A real sharp curly, curly wolf
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# Whose mind is oh so smooth when he spreads it on
0:19:43 > 0:19:46# Sharp or smooth he's in the groove
0:19:46 > 0:19:47# Where lovin' is his thing
0:19:47 > 0:19:51# And all the babes in town trail him around
0:19:51 > 0:19:53# Just to hold his paw and say...
0:19:53 > 0:19:55# "Oh, Wolfie
0:19:55 > 0:19:58# "Oh, Wolfie, ain't you the one?"
0:19:58 > 0:20:00# "Oh, Wolfie, oh, Wolfie HE WHISTLES
0:20:00 > 0:20:02# Ain't we got fun?
0:20:02 > 0:20:07# You send the shivers up my spine
0:20:07 > 0:20:12# And when you're near I just can't sit still a minute
0:20:12 > 0:20:13# I'm so...
0:20:13 > 0:20:17# Oh, Wolfie, oh, Wolfie, please tell me do
0:20:17 > 0:20:22# What makes me love you so?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25HE WHISTLES # You're not rugged, it's true
0:20:25 > 0:20:27# But when I look at you I just...
0:20:27 > 0:20:31# Oh, Wolfie, oh, Wolfie. # HE WHISTLES
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Oh, I'm very sorry, cousin,
0:21:19 > 0:21:22but I'm afraid this city life is a bit too much for you.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26I shall motor you back to the country.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35WHISTLING
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Uh, howdy, boys.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41HORN HONKS
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Sorry, cousin, this country life's too much for you.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00I'll have to take you back to the city.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18I was always amazed at how it was done.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22The guys actually drew every movement...
0:22:24 > 0:22:26HE LAUGHS
0:22:26 > 0:22:32..and that blew me away, the idea that every movement had to be drawn.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Meanwhile they've got Popeye moving around film.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40# I'm Popeye the sailor man
0:22:40 > 0:22:44# I'm off on a trip in me sturdy old ship
0:22:44 > 0:22:47# I'm Popeye the sailor man. #
0:22:47 > 0:22:50If you'd recommend a pirate movie to anyone, what would it be?
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Well, I've been in a couple. HE LAUGHS
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Hello, Jackie.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Ah-argh
0:22:59 > 0:23:03I was always into stories of the sea
0:23:03 > 0:23:08and the Red Rovers and treasure islands and stuff.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Hey, to a kid, it's fascinating.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12They're outlaws
0:23:12 > 0:23:16but, you know, they were doing, you know, something
0:23:16 > 0:23:19that, you know, everybody else would love to do
0:23:19 > 0:23:21if they could get away with it.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24And when you realise that you can almost be one
0:23:24 > 0:23:26without getting arrested...
0:23:26 > 0:23:27HE LAUGHS
0:23:29 > 0:23:33..you know, it adds to the flavour.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38Being free of normal constraints
0:23:38 > 0:23:41and accepting...
0:23:43 > 0:23:45..every order you're given.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48HE LAUGHS It's like, "Yes, sir." "No, sir."
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Cos in a way you sort of rode it onto your own back
0:23:51 > 0:23:54and said, yeah, you know...
0:23:54 > 0:23:59"Either I bow or I take my chances," you know?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02There's always been a bit of lawlessness about me.
0:24:02 > 0:24:07I think it's really to do with getting expelled
0:24:07 > 0:24:12and that experience of authority
0:24:12 > 0:24:15and that either you're going to do as you're told
0:24:15 > 0:24:18for the rest of your life
0:24:18 > 0:24:20or you're going to break free of this, you know,
0:24:20 > 0:24:21and get out of here.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23And that... I invented this job.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26HE LAUGHS
0:24:29 > 0:24:33MUSIC: Captain Pugwash theme
0:24:38 > 0:24:40It was a fine day
0:24:40 > 0:24:43and a fair wind filled the sails of the Black Pig
0:24:43 > 0:24:46as she rode merrily through the waves.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Just where she was sailing to, nobody knew...
0:24:50 > 0:24:52..least of all Captain Pugwash,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55who was far too busy taking a little snooze on the quarterdeck
0:24:55 > 0:24:56even to care.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02The wheel turned idly this way and that
0:25:02 > 0:25:05and really the only person who knew what was happening
0:25:05 > 0:25:10was Tom the cabin boy who was keeping watch in the crows nest.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Suddenly he spotted something.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16"A sail! A sail!" He cried.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21"A ship, a fine ship on the starboard bow."
0:25:22 > 0:25:26Down on the deck, Captain Pugwash sat up and blinked,
0:25:26 > 0:25:28then he seized his telescope...
0:25:30 > 0:25:32..got up...
0:25:32 > 0:25:35and rushed eagerly to the side of the deck.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40"Hmm. Hmm, yes. Hmm," he thought.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45"It's a ship all right, but it looks a funny sort of ship.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48"There's...there's no-one aboard.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52"No-one on the deck, no-one in the rigging.
0:25:52 > 0:25:53"Strange.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56"Can't see a soul in the cabin.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58"Oh, dear. Hmm.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01"No guns in the ports.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03"But...but wait! What's that?
0:26:03 > 0:26:07"A huge pile of treasure by the mast.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09"Hey, Tom!" he cried.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14"It's a treasure ship and there's no-one aboard.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17"Get out the rowing boat and take me over at once."
0:26:18 > 0:26:22By this time, the other ship was quite close.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Tom got the rowing boat ready
0:26:24 > 0:26:26and although it was never easy
0:26:26 > 0:26:28getting the captain out of a big boat into a little one...
0:26:28 > 0:26:32"Ooh. Oh! Oh! Ooh. Ooh! Oh!"
0:26:32 > 0:26:33..they managed it.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38And soon Tom was rowing the captain away from the Black Pig.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Now, the other ship wasn't quite so harmless and deserted
0:26:43 > 0:26:45as it looked.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47It was Cut-throat Jake's ship
0:26:47 > 0:26:51and Jake himself was hiding there, rubbing his hands and chortling
0:26:51 > 0:26:52with wicked glee
0:26:52 > 0:26:57as he and his terrible crew watched and waited
0:26:57 > 0:27:00for Captain Pugwash to fall into the trap.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05The captain was quite close to Jake's ship now.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Soon the bows rose high over them
0:27:09 > 0:27:14as Tom brought the little rowing boat in and along
0:27:14 > 0:27:17to where a rope ladder hung conveniently over the side.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Captain Pugwash wasn't usually much good at rope ladders,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27but he was so excited that he managed this one quite easily.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32He jumped onto the deck and there was the treasure,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35even more splendid than he'd imagined.
0:27:35 > 0:27:40For one brief moment, Pugwash gazed in happy delight at his prize.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43And then... "Grab him, boys," shouted Cut-throat Jake.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46"We've got him this time!" SHOUTING AND CHEERING
0:27:46 > 0:27:49All the pirates rushed out of their hiding places.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52THEY CONTINUE SHOUTING AND CHEERING
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Captain Pugwash ran for it.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03"Oh-ooh-oh!"
0:28:03 > 0:28:04But they were too fast for him
0:28:04 > 0:28:07and very soon he was well and truly caught.
0:28:08 > 0:28:13"Got you!" Said Jake. "Now then, boys, what about that plank?"
0:28:15 > 0:28:16"Argh."
0:28:16 > 0:28:19HE CHUCKLES "Good. Good.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21"Ever walked the plank, Captain?"
0:28:21 > 0:28:23"No." "Well, you're going to now..."
0:28:23 > 0:28:25"Ha-ha! ..for the last time.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29HE LAUGHS
0:28:29 > 0:28:31"It's easy.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34"You starts at this end and you fall off at t'other.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38"Now, these here is bags of gold.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41"Seen as you're so fond of treasure, captain,
0:28:41 > 0:28:43"we'll tie them round your wrist and ankles,
0:28:43 > 0:28:45"it'll make you sink faster!"
0:28:45 > 0:28:50So, heavily laden with useless gold, Pugwash sadly mounted the plank
0:28:50 > 0:28:53and thought that his last "Argh!" had really arrived.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58But he and Jake and all the pirates had forgotten Tom,
0:28:58 > 0:29:01still waiting in the little boat below.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04"Off you go, Captain," said Jake,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06"we can't wait all day, you know."
0:29:06 > 0:29:11Captain Pugwash started to walk very unsteadily along the plank.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14If there was one thing he hated, it was cold water.
0:29:14 > 0:29:19"Oh, oh, oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, dear! Oh! Oh!"
0:29:19 > 0:29:22HE SCREAMS "Wait for it," yelled Jake.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28WATER SPLASHES, THEY LAUGH
0:29:28 > 0:29:31When the pirates heard the splash, they all roared with laughter
0:29:31 > 0:29:33and rolled about the deck and made such a noise
0:29:33 > 0:29:37that nobody noticed what was really happening -
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Tom the cabin boy was fishing the captain out of the water
0:29:40 > 0:29:42and into the rowing boat.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45And although it was pretty hard work,
0:29:45 > 0:29:48when Cut-throat Jake did take a look over the side,
0:29:48 > 0:29:50this is what he saw -
0:29:50 > 0:29:53Tom with the captain rowing like anything for the Black Pig.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57"Curses!" Roared Cut-throat Jake.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01"Fetch me a cannon. I'll smash them to smithereens, I will."
0:30:01 > 0:30:04But all the cannons had been hidden to disguise the ship.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07It was a long time before the pirates found one
0:30:07 > 0:30:09and set it up and made it ready.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Shaking with rage, Jake lit the fuse.
0:30:21 > 0:30:22The first shot missed.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24LOUD BANG
0:30:29 > 0:30:30And the second shot missed.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36And by this time Jake was all but choking with fury
0:30:36 > 0:30:40so he loaded the cannon with an extra big cannonball ball
0:30:40 > 0:30:43to make sure of hitting the boat this time.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44But it was too big,
0:30:44 > 0:30:47it got stuck in the cannon and when they let it off...
0:30:50 > 0:30:53..the whole thing exploded with a fearful roar...
0:30:54 > 0:30:58..and knocked out Cut-throat Jake and all his wicked crew senseless.
0:31:00 > 0:31:04Meanwhile, Tom was rowing hard and very nearly home.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06And up on the deck of the Black Pig,
0:31:06 > 0:31:11the mate, roused by the noise from his afternoon nap, sat up,
0:31:11 > 0:31:15rubbed his eyes and cried, "Oh, it's the captain!
0:31:15 > 0:31:17"Fetch me a boat hook, somebody."
0:31:17 > 0:31:19So, they got him the boat hook
0:31:19 > 0:31:22and the mate reached down and fished around
0:31:22 > 0:31:25until he managed to hook the captain.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27So Pugwash came back to his ship again.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31"Oh! Uh-oh. Ooh! Oh. Ooh!"
0:31:31 > 0:31:33And with him the bags of gold
0:31:33 > 0:31:37which Jake had tied on to make him sink quickly.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39HE LAUGHS "Smart work, hey?
0:31:39 > 0:31:43Said the captain as he stood in triumph amid his admiring crew.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45HE LAUGHS
0:31:45 > 0:31:50"It'll take a cleverer villain than old ruffian Jake to catch me.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52"Pugwash!"
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Nobody noticed Tom as he slipped away to his hammock below.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03"Oh, well," thought Tom, as he settled down to sleep,
0:32:03 > 0:32:07"it's a good thing there was somebody there to catch him."
0:32:20 > 0:32:24I always wanted to know where everything was on the globe
0:32:24 > 0:32:27which I find in America is amazing -
0:32:27 > 0:32:29they don't know where anywhere else in the world is
0:32:29 > 0:32:31unless they're at war with it, you know?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34HE LAUGHS Where's Iraq or Afghanistan?
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Oh, and then suddenly they know.
0:32:36 > 0:32:42They have a weird sense of thinking that they are the world
0:32:42 > 0:32:44and that nowhere else is...
0:32:45 > 0:32:49Which of course they eventually find out, to their detriment,
0:32:49 > 0:32:51that there is a world out there
0:32:51 > 0:32:53and they're going to give them a pain in the neck
0:32:53 > 0:32:55if they don't find out.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59I see another movie you've got up your sleeve
0:32:59 > 0:33:02is The Man Who Would Be King? Yeah, I thought Connery
0:33:02 > 0:33:04and...and Michael.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08In there, they played off of each other so well,
0:33:08 > 0:33:10and Huston wrote and directed it.
0:33:10 > 0:33:14It's a great story. Kipling, originally, I believe.