0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08The job turns you into a nomad. I mean,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11not that I was ever against it, I loved to see the world. It was...
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Hey, you know, write a couple of songs
0:00:13 > 0:00:15and suddenly they're flying me, you know,
0:00:15 > 0:00:18to places all around the world,
0:00:18 > 0:00:22I'm getting to see the world and it's always, you know...
0:00:22 > 0:00:25It broadened my horizons and things like that.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27And they're paying me!
0:00:27 > 0:00:29And I'm...
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Yeah, this is the job for me, mate.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36In that way, I mean, totally blessed.
0:00:36 > 0:00:41I never thought, you know, as a kid, I'd ever get out of England,
0:00:41 > 0:00:44you know, let alone travel the world
0:00:44 > 0:00:48probably more times than most people have.
0:00:48 > 0:00:53And actually arrive there and everybody going, "Yeah! Welcome."
0:00:53 > 0:00:54It's...
0:00:54 > 0:00:56It's a unique life, man.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06I was living in Morocco, eight, nine months in Marrakech.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Hit Tangier here and there.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13But, basically, in Marrakech, this tribe, they're called the Ghanoui,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15otherwise known as the Blue People,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18they come into Marrakech on their camels.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21These guys are magnificent, man.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25They've got the turbans and they're on their camels
0:01:25 > 0:01:28and they move into town and basically take it over.
0:01:28 > 0:01:34And they all had burnt coal black eyeliners,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37you know, as actually a protection from the sun.
0:01:37 > 0:01:42And I'm there for nine months, so I took up the habit.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45MUSIC: Amassakoul 'N' Tenere by Tinariwen
0:02:22 > 0:02:25These guys are magnificent drummers.
0:02:25 > 0:02:29And they would sort of take the Jemaa el-Fnaa,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32the central square in Marrakech.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38And it would be their month, you know?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40They came in out of the desert,
0:02:40 > 0:02:44they did whatever they had to do in the bazaar and kasbah.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47CAMEL GROANS
0:02:53 > 0:02:55And then they'd go back to the desert.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12They fascinate me, tribal things, you know,
0:03:12 > 0:03:14and I got to know a few of them.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32If I'd have had the time I'd have joined the Ghanouis and gone back
0:03:32 > 0:03:36to the desert with them, you know what I mean?
0:03:36 > 0:03:40What I loved about it was cos they didn't know who the fuck I was.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42That was the beauty, you know?
0:03:56 > 0:04:01They had a very strong tribal connection to each other, you know?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04And brotherhood is very important to me,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07and friendship and comradeship.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11They had this great sense of that
0:04:11 > 0:04:14and they sort of took me in as a brother,
0:04:14 > 0:04:19much as the Rastafarians did in Jamaica a few years later.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I sort of gravitate to sort of tribes.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29MUSIC: Come Down Wicked Man by Wingless Angels
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Rhythm and pulse, I mean, they're very important to people.
0:05:17 > 0:05:22They don't even know and they don't have to, really.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27But, I mean, this thing goes about 72 a minute,
0:05:27 > 0:05:28all right, all of you.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32You know what I mean?
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Boom, boom, boom. There.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36And you'd better rely on it,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39but that is a rhythm within you.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42If you get into music and you're a part of music, you want to
0:05:42 > 0:05:44play around with your heartbeat,
0:05:44 > 0:05:48you want to just jump it here and there,
0:05:48 > 0:05:51you know, without having an attack.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54But there's a rhythm within us,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57we all live with it, but very few of us
0:05:57 > 0:06:01actually think about it because you're not supposed to.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03It's like the next breath you take.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05You know, you ain't going to think about it.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Either you get it or you don't.
0:06:08 > 0:06:15And I think probably musicians are more sort of attuned or aware
0:06:15 > 0:06:21of this little drumbeat going on within you.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Even before you can remember, this thing's been pumping away,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28boom, boom, boom.
0:06:28 > 0:06:34And maybe through music you want to express some recognition,
0:06:34 > 0:06:39you know, of incredible machine that's within us all, you know?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44MUSIC: It Hurts Me Too by Elmore James
0:07:11 > 0:07:14# You said you was hurtin'
0:07:14 > 0:07:18# You almost lost your mind
0:07:18 > 0:07:22# Now the man you love
0:07:22 > 0:07:26# He hurt you all the time
0:07:26 > 0:07:30# But when things go wrong
0:07:30 > 0:07:34# Oh wrong with you
0:07:34 > 0:07:36# It hurts me too
0:07:42 > 0:07:46# You'll love him more
0:07:46 > 0:07:50# When you should love him less
0:07:50 > 0:07:53# Why lick up behind him
0:07:53 > 0:07:57# And take his mess?
0:07:57 > 0:08:01# But when things go wrong
0:08:01 > 0:08:05# Whoa, wrong with you
0:08:05 > 0:08:07# It hurts me too
0:08:13 > 0:08:17# He love another woman
0:08:17 > 0:08:21# Yes, I love you
0:08:21 > 0:08:24# But you love him
0:08:24 > 0:08:29# And stick to him like glue
0:08:29 > 0:08:32# When things go wrong
0:08:32 > 0:08:36# Oh, wrong with you
0:08:36 > 0:08:39# It hurts me too
0:09:16 > 0:09:19# Now he'd better leave you
0:09:19 > 0:09:24# Or you better put him down
0:09:24 > 0:09:27# No, I won't stand
0:09:27 > 0:09:31# To see you pushed around
0:09:31 > 0:09:35# But when things go wrong
0:09:35 > 0:09:39# Oh, wrong with you
0:09:39 > 0:09:41# It hurts me too. #
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Are you conscious of playing with silence as well as noise?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Oh, silence, I mean, one of my favourites.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Silence is your canvas.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Most great painters never fill in the whole damn thing,
0:10:03 > 0:10:04you know what I mean?
0:10:04 > 0:10:08To a musician, silence is your best friend.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12It's when to put the noise in and when to leave it out.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17If you think about the dynamics of music, you don't need
0:10:17 > 0:10:22to fill the whole damn area.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26It's... And some of the most interesting bits of music -
0:10:26 > 0:10:31ask Mozart - is what you don't do.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I mean, it's an old cliche now,
0:10:33 > 0:10:35it's what you don't play is probably
0:10:35 > 0:10:40the most important part, but in music that's kind of true.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Because silence is the extra, your friend. It's...
0:10:45 > 0:10:47It's the sound that isn't,
0:10:47 > 0:10:50but because it isn't, it's a sound, you know?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53And after that I can't explain it any more.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00MUSIC: JS Bach's Sarabande by Andres Segovia
0:13:12 > 0:13:16You see what I mean? KEITH LAUGHS
0:13:21 > 0:13:27BBC Television presents - Tony Hancock in...
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Hancock's half-hour.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33APPLAUSE
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Ah, this is the life, boy.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Nine o'clock on a Saturday morning and all's well.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44Ah.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Even the air smells different on Saturdays. I love Saturday.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50The best day of the week, eh?
0:13:50 > 0:13:52No work, the weekend to look forward to
0:13:52 > 0:13:54and Saturday night coming up.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56The big night.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59The one bright spot in a week of unrelieved gloom.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02The one part of life's tragic panorama
0:14:02 > 0:14:04that I can really put up with.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07A pound in your pocket, a pint in your hand
0:14:07 > 0:14:09and a bird on your arm and the world is yours.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Sid, if it wasn't for Saturday nights, I think I go bonkers.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Yeah, it's marvellous, ain't it?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I can't wait to get into my pointed Italian two-tones
0:14:18 > 0:14:21and off down the high street.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22Makes you feel like a king.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Clean dickie dirt, new peckham,
0:14:24 > 0:14:26pair of luminous almond rocks, new whistle,
0:14:26 > 0:14:28nice crease in me strides, barnet well-greased up
0:14:28 > 0:14:31and flashing me hampsteads at all the bona palones.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38I didn't understand a single word you said but it sounds marvellous.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Done up to the nines, wallowing in the myriad of sensual delights
0:14:41 > 0:14:45that Cheam high street has to offer a single gentleman of a Saturday night.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49The Las Vegas of south-east England.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51You can't whack it.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54What's my girl like, Sid? Oh, blimey, I've told you.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Well, go on, tell me again. You know I like to hear it. Go on.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Well, she's about five foot three or four,
0:15:00 > 0:15:04beautiful auburn hair cascading down to her alabaster shoulders.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09A face like a Greek goddess.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Her eyes two limpid pools
0:15:12 > 0:15:15lingering, smouldering,
0:15:15 > 0:15:16challenging.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Her lips the deepest red,
0:15:23 > 0:15:25soft, moist, clinging.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27And her figure.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Oh, that figure.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38When she walks, it's like a young gazelle moving across the grasslands.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44And her voice, it's like a spring breeze,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46murmuring, whispering.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50And her skin.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54It's like the texture of a peach,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56smoother than the softest velvet.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01What's her name?
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Gladys.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10You would have to go and ruin it, wouldn't you? Never mind, boys.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13We'll be the toast of the coffee bars tonight. Toast.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Oi! Where's the breakfast, then?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21There you are.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26What is this mess supposed to represent?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29That's oeufs scramblaid.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33What sort of meal is that to put in front of
0:16:33 > 0:16:35a couple of international playboys the likes of us?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Take it or leave it. That's all there is. But it's Saturday.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40It's a special day. Can't you do something special for breakfast?
0:16:40 > 0:16:44That is special. You wait till you see what you're getting on Monday.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48All right. Push off. We'll ring if we want to.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Oeufs scramblaid.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Not my idea of the grand life.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56I bet Noel Coward doesn't sit down to rubbish like this on Saturdays.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00He'll be out on his balcony overlooking the Caribbean
0:17:00 > 0:17:04with his silk dressing gown on, idly sipping iced tomato juice
0:17:04 > 0:17:06through his long cigarette holder.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09# Someday I'll find you... #
0:17:13 > 0:17:17And what have I got? Oeufs scramblaid and Mrs Crevatte.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19There's no justice in the world.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I wouldn't worry about it, mate. We've still got tonight.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23And when you're sitting in the pictures
0:17:23 > 0:17:27on a Saturday night in the dark you can be who you like. That's true.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Isn't it funny how you always imagine you're the bloke
0:17:29 > 0:17:32you're seeing in the film? Yeah. You remember Monday?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35You come out convinced you were Robert Mitchum.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37You had your eyes half closed,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40you nearly got run over, remember?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Then on Tuesday you saw Gone With The Wind,
0:17:45 > 0:17:46so you opened your eyes,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49stuck your ears out and started to talk like Clark Gable.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Oh, yes. But fair do's, I mean, I do look a bit like Clark.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57No, no. If you imagine the moustache and the ears sticking out. See, see?
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Nothing like him. Well, it's near enough.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00Who's on this week, then?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Charlie Laughton. Charlie Laughton. Do you know him personally, then?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Charles Laughton to you. Charles Laughton.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07I've got him off.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11AS CHARLES LAUGHTON: Mr Christian, you'll hang from highest yardarm...
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Charles Laughton.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16What's the good in looking like him
0:18:16 > 0:18:18down at the Palais on a Saturday night?
0:18:18 > 0:18:19You want a bit of glamour.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Gene Kelly.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24# Everybody loves a baby and it might as well be you. #
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Gene Kelly, mark my words.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I haven't seen anything so funny for years.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Let's face it, with a clock like yours
0:18:37 > 0:18:39you can't pretend to be anybody but yourself.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Play your best card, mate.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Intriguing ugliness, that's the only chance you've got.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I am not ugly. There's a lot of women think I'm very attractive.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Only women who aren't as good-looking as you are.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53And they're few and far between, poor devils.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54You can laugh, mate.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57You watch tonight, I'll murder them.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00You watch the old James technique come into play.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01You drug them, don't you?
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I do not. I charm them.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Give them the old chat.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12One night out with me and a shop girl becomes a princess.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17A couple of choruses of Come Prima down their earholes, mate, and they're mine.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Well, I wish you the best of luck.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20I reckon if we play our cards right tonight
0:19:20 > 0:19:23it'll be the best Saturday night we've had for years.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25All dressed up and raring to go.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26I'm looking forward to this.
0:19:26 > 0:19:32We're going to crawl home in the early hours with a blissful smile of content on our faces, boy.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37You may clear away and bring in the coffee.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38You haven't touched it.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Chuck it over the fence for next-door's dog.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41I've never liked him.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Are you two going out tonight?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Of course we are. We always go out on Saturday nights,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50so you may lay out my chalk-stripe flair-line with the hand-stitched lapels.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53I shall be wearing that tonight. You won't. I beg your pardon?
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I took it to the cleaner's.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57What for? There wasn't a stain on it.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Very well, I shall wear my Prince of Wales demob suit.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01I sent that to the cleaner's too.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02What?
0:20:02 > 0:20:05My entire wardrobe down at the cleaner's?
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Well, you'll just have to go and get them, that's all. No, I can't.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I'm off home. I've got my old man's breakfast to do.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11But I'll have nothing to wear.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14We're going out tonight, I've got to have me suits.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15I can't help that, I'm not fetching them.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Sid, you'll have to nip down and get them.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21The Dreadnought Dry-cleaning And Bag Wash Company Limited. He can't get them. Why?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25I took all his suits down the cleaner's too.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26He asked me to.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Sid. Blimey, that's right, yeah. You didn't?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Well, I thought you were going to pick yours up and you could get mine as well.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33I didn't know she'd taken all yours.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35So we haven't got a stitch to wear between us. How are we going to manage?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38We'll have to go and get them ourselves.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39No, we can't. How can we do that?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42You can't go down Cheam high street in a dressing down.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Now, look here, Mrs... No, no. I'm off home.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I'm late as it is.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47I'll pick them up for you Monday.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Bye-bye. Have a good time.
0:20:52 > 0:20:53Have a good time.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Dancing the Blue Tango in your pyjamas.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59She's ruined everything, she has.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00No, she hasn't.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02We go and get them ourselves. But how? Come on.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30THEY PANT
0:21:34 > 0:21:36HE LAUGHS
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Beat you. You did not.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I was held up by a zebra crossing.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43That's all right. I was stopped at the traffic lights.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44It was my tactics that beat you.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I saved myself for a final burst.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48You were running. I was not.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51I brought my heels down every time.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I beat you fair square. All right.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Never mind about that, we've got the suits now,
0:21:55 > 0:21:56all cleaned up and pressed.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58It'll be all right tonight. I know.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00That's mine. Sorry. It'll be dapper.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Dead dapper, we'll be.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07Perfect sight of sartorial elegance, eh?
0:22:08 > 0:22:10I'd better get the clean shirts out now, I think,
0:22:10 > 0:22:13and give them a bit of an airing. Yeah, and don't dirty 'em.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17Nothing puts the little darlings off quicker than a grubby drip dry.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Quite, quite. I think I'd better get them out now
0:22:19 > 0:22:21in case we have a bit of a mad rush tonight.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Get the cufflinks in now and the stiffeners while they're off,
0:22:23 > 0:22:24not while they're on, eh?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28You ever tried getting a stiffener in once you've got your tie on? Eh?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30It can be very nasty.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32I nearly strangled myself once.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I got this bent stiffener and I was up like that. Suddenly I got...
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Yeah, yeah, all right.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Never mind about the nattering, get the shirts out.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Stone me, she hasn't done the washing. Look at this lot.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50It should all be pinned up now with a nice bit of cardboard
0:22:50 > 0:22:54underneath the collar. Oh, she's a lazy so-and-so, that woman.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I pay her to do the washing, she hasn't touched it.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58We can't go out with linen this colour, can we?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00We'll have to wash them ourselves.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04We'd never get them dry in time. We can't go out with damp shirts on.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06We could get pneumonia if we went out with these on our backs.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11We'd seize up before the band got to Who's Taking You Home Tonight?
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Who's Taking You Home Tonight? The St John's Ambulance, mate.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20We've had it. That woman's a fool, she'll have to go.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Wait a minute, wait a minute.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24There must be some way we can get them pressed and washed by tonight.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Now, let me think.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28JAUNTY TUNE PLAYS
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Good morning, sir. Good morning, madam.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41My friend and I wish to launder our soiled linen.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Certainly, sir. 9lbs for 2/9d.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Will you put your washing on the weighing machine, please?
0:23:46 > 0:23:494oz, that should be about a penny, I reckon.
0:23:49 > 0:23:512/9d is our minimum charge.
0:23:51 > 0:23:542/9d for one shirt? That's more than he paid for it.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Do you mind? What I pay for my chemiserie is my own business.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Anyway 2/3d is quite enough for a shirt.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Can't you make it any cheaper than 2/9d?
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Perhaps your friend could put his shirt in with yours.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08That would save you hiring two machines.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10You're joking, aren't you?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14I'm going to put my good shirt in with that broken down bit of burlap.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17How dare you! Best quality parachute panelling, this is.
0:24:19 > 0:24:20Transparent too.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23They go berserk when they see my string vest through this.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Well, that's two machines, 2/9d each, please.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Sheer extortion, madam.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44I can't keep up with modern science. How do we get inside this thing?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49You put your shirt in there.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Are you sure it's safe? Of course it's safe!
0:24:53 > 0:24:55All right, I'm entitled to ask!
0:24:57 > 0:24:58No need to snap my head off.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Well, now what do we do?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12You switch on and sit down.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16What, no scrubbing or squeezing or anything like that?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19You just switch on and sit down and wait till it's finished.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Isn't that marvellous?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28When I think of my poor, old mother on the banks of the canal
0:25:28 > 0:25:30with those two great big stones, pounding the things...
0:25:31 > 0:25:33..I boggle.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Yeah, well, that's progress, innit? Oh, this is marvellous.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Oh, I am going to enjoy this. Oh, I wish I'd been down here...
0:25:38 > 0:25:40I'll come another week to see this.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Oh, look! You can see it going round in there. Look, look!
0:25:49 > 0:25:51There's a collar!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53And a sleeve! Look! Look, look, look!
0:25:53 > 0:25:56There'll be coming round again in a minute. There!
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Can you see it in yours? Yes, yes. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, I wish I'd seen these before.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Oh, this is a marvellous way to spend your money, isn't it?
0:26:11 > 0:26:14That's my shirt going round in there.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16There it is! Look, look, look.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Very good, aren't they?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Very simple, really, you know.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Basic principle is very elementary.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Very well-known in the time of the Venetians.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29It's a sprocket with a rotary arm.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33Of course, they had a rope tied to a camel going round in a circle,
0:26:33 > 0:26:37but it's the same principle - centrifugal force
0:26:37 > 0:26:39causing a disturbance in the water.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Shut up.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I was only telling him about the camels, that's all.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48I wasn't doing any harm.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52He's very touchy, he doesn't like me talking to strangers.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Neither do I.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Look at it. Look, look, look, look.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23That's your machine. Oh, yes.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29What are you looking at mine, then, for? Oh, nothing.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Wanted a little change, that's all. Got fed up with looking at my own.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37You want to stop being nosy, looking at other people's washing.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Well, I wasn't. I can't see anything.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42I just got a bit bored, that's all.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Perhaps you'd like me to stop the machine,
0:27:44 > 0:27:47take them out and hold them up for you.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49No, thank you. That won't be necessary.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51You don't have to go to those lengths.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54I'm not interested in your washing.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Just that I thought you were getting a better picture on yours,
0:27:57 > 0:27:58that's all.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:28:06 > 0:28:11Anything wrong? It's him. He keeps looking at my washing.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15Not the slightest bit interested in his ablutive activities.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17I'm merely trying to ascertain whether he puts his whites in
0:28:17 > 0:28:18with his colours, that's all.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21I've never been to one of these establishments before.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Another thing, he's got more water than I have.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25That's not right for a start.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28I've got more washing in there, that's why it looks like more water.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29it's a displacement.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32We won't go into Archimedes' principle here.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35And he's got bubbles. I haven't got any bubbles.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Have you got any bubbles, Sid? Yes, hundreds of them.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Well, I haven't got any bubbles. Have you got any bubbles, madam?
0:28:42 > 0:28:43Why haven't I got any bubbles?
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Did you put enough soap powder in it?
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Soap powder, what soap powder?
0:28:47 > 0:28:50I gave your friend two portions of soap powder.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56How dare you filch my soap powder? That's very nice, isn't it(?)
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Pitching a bloke's soap powder.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01You're trying to make me look tatty tonight, aren't you?
0:29:01 > 0:29:03Trying to make your shirt look whiter than mine so that when
0:29:03 > 0:29:07you come and stand by me, people will start singing about my mother.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12I'm not having that for a start.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14I am having a ladleful of your bubbles.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Put those bubbles back. I'll put them in mine.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20Put them back. No! You're not taking any more.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22I haven't had my full whack yet.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Please, please! You're creating a disturbance.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28I'm responsible for these machines. You'll damage them.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Right, so you can have some more soap powder.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Sorry, I didn't mean to make a scene.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34I feel very strongly about these questions.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36A man is entitled to his fair share of bubbles. Fine, fine.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39But everything will be all right now.
0:29:39 > 0:29:40Why don't you just sit down there
0:29:40 > 0:29:43and watch your shirt going round, eh?
0:29:45 > 0:29:48He nearly got one with the ladle there.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Excuse me, old chap. Have you got much washing in your machine?
0:29:52 > 0:29:53No, one shirt, that's all.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55That's good, cos I've got a shirt I'd like washed.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57I don't want to hire one of these things.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59I was wondering if I could put my shirt in with your washing.
0:29:59 > 0:30:00Well, I don't know, really, I...
0:30:00 > 0:30:03What's the difference, two shirts instead of one?
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Oh, all right, then. Carry on. Mine will be finished in a minute anyway.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Thank you very much.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Jayne Mansfield's old man.
0:30:28 > 0:30:29That was quick, wasn't it?
0:30:29 > 0:30:31It used to take the camels all day, you know.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34I don't suppose they used to whip round as quick as these things.
0:30:34 > 0:30:35Well, a very instructive morning.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38Now, then, how do we get it out, then? The same way you put it in.
0:30:38 > 0:30:39Oh, yeah.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46This is perfect. It's absolutely perfect.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Excuse me, old chap. My shirt.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50I'm sorry. Beg your pardon. So it is.
0:31:09 > 0:31:10Look what's happened to my shirt!
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Well, what do you expect if you only pay 2/3d for them?
0:31:13 > 0:31:15I'm not standing for this. I demand compensation.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17They can't go about ruining people's shirts like this.
0:31:17 > 0:31:18I want to see the manager.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Anything wrong, sir? There is indeed.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Look what your machine has done to my shirt. I demand recompense.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Well, there's no point putting them in like that.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28This is a washing machine, not a sewing machine.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33The man's a fool. It's a brand-new shirt, never been washed before.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Well, I suggest you buy better shirts in future.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Are you looking for a punch up the faghole, mush?
0:31:41 > 0:31:44Are you going to replace this shirt or not?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46I am very sorry, sir, but it says quite distinctly on the outside,
0:31:46 > 0:31:48"Customers use these machines at their own risk" -
0:31:48 > 0:31:50there's nothing I can do about it.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52But it's the only clean shirt I've got.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54I'm supposed to be going out on the town tonight.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57I can't go bird watching in a thing like this.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01Why don't you wear the front part, which is not too bad, like that?
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Nobody'll notice the rest of the shirt isn't there.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08Do your jacket up and your coat like that.
0:32:08 > 0:32:12Besides, it gives your overcoat a sort of Italian flavour.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Oh, no, no, I'd feel self-conscious.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16I wouldn't be comfortable in the knowledge.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Anyway, you can't go around doing a George Sanders with half a shirt on.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Yeah, well, I'm very sorry, sir. That's all I can suggest.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23If you'll excuse me, I'm a very busy man.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25By the way, if you want to dry the pieces,
0:32:25 > 0:32:27there's a spin dryer over there for only a penny extra.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30I'm not taking any more chances with it, mate.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33I want to end up with a shirt, not a bag of confetti.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36I should have stuck to the two big stones,
0:32:36 > 0:32:39at least you know where you are. Good day to you, sir.
0:33:15 > 0:33:20How did you get on? Hopeless. Four buttons and a finger gone.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22It's no good, Sid, you'll just have to go by yourself.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24I'd only spoil it for you.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Girls won't look at you if your friend's walking about
0:33:26 > 0:33:27without a shirt on.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29I'm not taking two birds on my own.
0:33:29 > 0:33:34I can't afford it, for one thing and you can't do any good for another.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37You can't even do any courting with one of them standing by there
0:33:37 > 0:33:39swinging her handbag, whistling.
0:33:41 > 0:33:42You don't have to wear a shirt, mate,
0:33:42 > 0:33:45you can wear a sweater and a muffler. Oh, charming.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47And a bit of pie wrapped up in a spotted handkerchief
0:33:47 > 0:33:49slung upon my shoulder.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Open the front of my boot up and have my nails poking out.
0:33:53 > 0:33:57A top hat on with the lid sticking up. I'm only trying to help.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Well, don't. I've got to work this out for myself.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03How am I going to get away without having a shirt?
0:34:03 > 0:34:07I know, a polo neck sweater, the corduroy trousers and the sandals.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09I'll be a beatnik.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11I bet that'll get them going.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14I bet they'll never have been out with a beatnik before.
0:34:14 > 0:34:15What's a beatnik do, then?
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Well, he... Well, I don't know, but I don't suppose they'll know either.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21So they can't argue, then, can they? That's settled, then.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22I'll nip down the barber's,
0:34:22 > 0:34:24have a haircut and a shave and I'll see you down the pictures tonight.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Haircut and shave? From what you've told me about beatniks,
0:34:27 > 0:34:29they wouldn't worry about that. I'm not a proper beatnik.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Oh, no, I must have a haircut and a shave.
0:34:32 > 0:34:36I'm more of a sort of a bourgeois beatnik, you know...
0:34:36 > 0:34:37I'm getting confident again.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39I think they're going to be dead chuffed when they see me.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Tell me again, Sid, what's my girl like?
0:34:41 > 0:34:44Oh, blimey, I've told you three times.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46All right, then, I'll see you down there.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Sid... Yeah.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56Do something with yourself, eh? You know, don't show me up, eh?
0:35:22 > 0:35:25Do you realise how long I've been waiting here? Ten minutes!
0:35:25 > 0:35:26What's that?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29Leave it alone. I had no choice. Look.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Fool of a barber, he did it on purpose, I swear he did.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Everything was all right until we got on to politics
0:35:37 > 0:35:39and I ended up a mass of cigarette papers.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44Look at my hair at the back here, the 39 steps, look at this.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46You can't stay like that. I told them what you looked like
0:35:46 > 0:35:48and I didn't tell them anything about a beard. Take it off.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51No, I'm not walking about with a face full of sticking plaster.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Anyway, the beard goes perfectly with the rest of the outfit.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55If it goes well tonight, I shall keep it in.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Take it from me, mate, you look a right twit.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03I thought you didn't have a shirt. You great oaf!
0:36:06 > 0:36:10It took me three quarters of an hour to get that into place.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Oh, this sweater is ridiculous without a shirt underneath.
0:36:12 > 0:36:14It's like a tribe of ants trampling about.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Hello, how are you? All right. I'm sorry we're late.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22This is my friend Elsie. Hello.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24Has your friend turned up yet? Yeah, that's him.
0:36:26 > 0:36:27How do you do?
0:36:29 > 0:36:34Well, erm... Cheerio, then. What, are you going?
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Yeah, we just remembered we've got to be home early.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Well, that's all right. What time? Now. Ooh, come on.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43So that was Gladys and Elsie, was it?
0:36:43 > 0:36:45Well, it was very pleasant while it lasted.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Well, how about that - standing us up like that. I'm not surprised.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50It's always the same when I go out with you.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53You always spoil it for me. What a liberty!
0:36:53 > 0:36:55You turn up here looking like the second mate
0:36:55 > 0:36:57of a broken-down French tramp steamer
0:36:57 > 0:36:59and you've got the cheek to complain about me?
0:36:59 > 0:37:02There's no point in trying to pull each other to pieces.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04We know the truth. You never have known how to dress
0:37:04 > 0:37:06and you never will know how to dress.
0:37:08 > 0:37:09You've completely ruined our big night
0:37:09 > 0:37:11and we might just as well go home.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Now, wait a minute. The night is young.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Let's nip off into the pictures.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18There might be a bit of spare stuff floating around in there.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21With the lights down, you won't be so much of a lumber.
0:37:21 > 0:37:22How dare you.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26All you've got to do now is you get them as soon as they come
0:37:26 > 0:37:28through the curtains and they can't see what they're doing.
0:37:28 > 0:37:29Then they get a whiff
0:37:29 > 0:37:32of the aftershave lotion and we've got them.
0:37:32 > 0:37:33All right, one more try, then.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Just a minute. Where do you think you're going?
0:37:40 > 0:37:41Where do you think we're going? Inside.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44You might be, but he's not.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47I beg your pardon! We don't allow scruff like that in our cinema.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51No, we've had quite enough trouble around these parts as it is.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Come on, out. Take your hands off me. I know your type.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Ripping up the seats, tripping up the ice cream girl.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00Well, you're not doing it in here. I am not a hooligan.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03What's all those bits of plaster on your face?
0:38:03 > 0:38:06They're razor scars. There you are!
0:38:08 > 0:38:10On the run from some gang, are you?
0:38:10 > 0:38:12They'll all be in here looking for you.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14No, this is a respectable cinema, this is.
0:38:14 > 0:38:18We don't have scruff like you in here dressed like that.
0:38:18 > 0:38:19Come, now, do I look like a Teddy boy?
0:38:19 > 0:38:21I'm a perfectly respectable citizen.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23This mode of dress has been forced upon me by circumstances.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25All right, I'll be responsible for him.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29I guarantee he won't slash any seats. Well, all right, then.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32No whistling or stamping in the love seats.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37You're not convinced, are you?
0:38:37 > 0:38:40Come on. You'd better get me away from him, cos I'll...
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Hang on to me, will you? Hang on, I can't see a thing.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Are there any steps? No. Where are we?
0:38:48 > 0:38:50Get in there. Oh, yeah.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Excuse me. Thank you.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55Thank you very much indeed. Thank you, thank you.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57Oh, dear.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00Well, are you going to stand there all night?
0:39:00 > 0:39:02Excuse me. Do you mind?
0:39:02 > 0:39:04I'm terribly sorry. Thank you. Here, get in there.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14There's a couple of little darlings. Where, where, where?
0:39:14 > 0:39:18There, right in front of you. Oh, yes, yes, I see them, yes, yes.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20I don't fancy yours. Come on.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33Come on, Elsie, this is where we came in. Excuse me.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38It's just not our night, is it?
0:39:38 > 0:39:40Do you think it's best to split up or hunt in a bunch?
0:39:40 > 0:39:43I think we ought to split up. Right.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45Well, if you find anything, make a noise like an owl hooting, eh?
0:39:45 > 0:39:48Tuit-twoo!
0:39:48 > 0:39:49Tuit-twoo! Quiet!
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Go home.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Good hunting, boy.
0:40:00 > 0:40:04I'll have the law on you. How dare you manhandle me like that?!
0:40:04 > 0:40:06We only sat next to her to talk to her.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08I didn't know she was the organist.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16We were just as surprised as you were when we all shot up in the air.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Out! Don't come back!
0:40:21 > 0:40:24You don't think we're going to sit still and look at the rubbish
0:40:24 > 0:40:26you're showing. Don't think I'm going to patronise you any more.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29I will get my drinks on a stick elsewhere in future.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31Come, Sid, let's not stay here chitchatting
0:40:31 > 0:40:32to these uniformed yobs.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40Well, now what? I don't know. Draw a moustache on her and run for it,
0:40:40 > 0:40:41I should think.
0:40:41 > 0:40:42What a miserable night.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45To think I've been waiting the whole week for this.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Stop moaning, it's just as bad for me. We want to live.
0:40:48 > 0:40:49Stone me, is this living?
0:40:49 > 0:40:52Saturday night nearly over and not another one for seven days.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55Wait a minute, I think there's still time to find a couple of birds.
0:40:55 > 0:40:56Of course there isn't.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59It's ten o'clock. All the spare stuff will be fixed up by now.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03You mark my words, by my experience,
0:41:03 > 0:41:07if there's anything left after ten o'clock, mate, it's rubbish.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09Let's face it, our big night out
0:41:09 > 0:41:11has been a complete and utter fiasco,
0:41:11 > 0:41:13let's go home, go to bed and forget all about it.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23They're all right, ain't they?
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Yeah, very nice.
0:41:25 > 0:41:26What do you reckon, then?
0:41:26 > 0:41:30What? We wouldn't stand a chance. We can't get off with them.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33They'd run us in. Well, what better way of getting acquainted?
0:41:33 > 0:41:35It's a lovely walk down to the station.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37No, no, Sid, it's not worth it, let's go home. No.
0:41:37 > 0:41:38Faint heart never won fair lady.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41Apart from that, it'll only cost us a couple of nick a fine.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43What will? This will. No, no, Sid, no , no, Sid.
0:41:43 > 0:41:47GLASS SHATTERS Here we are over here.
0:41:47 > 0:41:48All right, come on, you two.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54No, no, no, no. Just a minute.
0:41:54 > 0:41:55We want to be arrested by those two.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58We're booked. That's the only reason we did it.
0:41:58 > 0:41:59Are you coming quietly?
0:41:59 > 0:42:02There's too much hooliganism going on around here.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04I want to be arrested by those two young ladies over there.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08Oh, yes? Well, that's my missus!
0:42:08 > 0:42:10Oh, well, of course.
0:42:10 > 0:42:14I'm not surprised. The big night - what a fiasco.
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Here!
0:42:16 > 0:42:18What's all that about? Never you mind.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21That should take care of next Saturday as well.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24I'm not having this again. Come on, then, what are we hanging about for?
0:42:24 > 0:42:26Come on, let's go.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29APPLAUSE
0:43:23 > 0:43:27MUSIC: Lucille by Tom Jones and The Squires
0:43:38 > 0:43:41Were there any Teds in the crowd at your early gigs?
0:43:41 > 0:43:45By 1963, Teddy boys are pretty much old news.
0:43:45 > 0:43:50I'm sitting with Little Richard. We were just playing.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52It was a song called Miss Ann.
0:43:52 > 0:43:56# Oh-oh-oh, Miss Ann
0:43:56 > 0:44:01# You're doing something no-one can... #
0:44:01 > 0:44:02He had a piano in his room.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06I was playing along with him. We were just, like, rocking,
0:44:06 > 0:44:09Little Richard and little Richard, er...
0:44:11 > 0:44:18Then the door opens and in comes Tom Jones and The Squires.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Totally rigged out in the old Teddy boy,
0:44:20 > 0:44:22you know, with the leopard-skin...
0:44:25 > 0:44:27The hair...
0:44:27 > 0:44:30They walk in on their hands and knees.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32You understand some of the, like,
0:44:32 > 0:44:36reverence and the power of that music.
0:44:36 > 0:44:39MUSIC: Miss Ann by Little Richard
0:45:02 > 0:45:06And so Little Richard and me are looking at each other.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11"You're Little Richard, what does that make me?"
0:45:13 > 0:45:17And these guys are crawling and praying to Little Richard.
0:45:17 > 0:45:23That was Tom Jones. Nobody else was wearing that crap except in Cardiff.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31Most rock stars are very suburbanite people.
0:45:32 > 0:45:37You know, "rock star" itself is a term...
0:45:37 > 0:45:40I don't know when it was first... I mean,
0:45:40 > 0:45:42you wouldn't hear it in the '50s,
0:45:42 > 0:45:46until probably the late '60s, you know,
0:45:46 > 0:45:52when loads of other people tried to jump on the bandwagon, you know.
0:45:52 > 0:45:58And they did, very successfully, but much to the detriment of the music.
0:45:58 > 0:46:04No particular affinity to other rock stars as such.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07I mean, a lot of musicians, I know of them, yes.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09I always, always saw it as another, you know...
0:46:09 > 0:46:12There's more room for another copycat,
0:46:12 > 0:46:14you know what I mean? Your Iron Maidens
0:46:14 > 0:46:17and your Black Sabbaths and your blah, blah, blah.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21HE CHUCKLES Fuck off, you know?
0:46:21 > 0:46:26My dad was never interested in music until he got into his really
0:46:26 > 0:46:32old age where he went to Bon Jovi and I said, "Good luck, Dad."
0:46:32 > 0:46:38It's not what I'm about and what I care about and certainly with
0:46:38 > 0:46:41music, it has nothing to do with, you know,
0:46:41 > 0:46:45but they have an audience, enormous,
0:46:45 > 0:46:51and it just shows you how many idiots there are out there.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53# Yes, I'm lonely
0:46:56 > 0:46:58# Wanna die
0:47:00 > 0:47:02# Yes, I'm lonely
0:47:05 > 0:47:06# Wanna die
0:47:09 > 0:47:12# If I ain't dead already
0:47:14 > 0:47:16# Girl, you know the reason why
0:47:19 > 0:47:20# In the morning
0:47:24 > 0:47:26# Wanna die
0:47:28 > 0:47:31# In the evening
0:47:33 > 0:47:34# Wanna die
0:47:37 > 0:47:40# If I ain't dead already
0:47:42 > 0:47:44# Girl, you know the reason why
0:47:48 > 0:47:52# My mother was of the sky My father was of the Earth
0:47:52 > 0:47:55# But I am of the universe
0:47:55 > 0:47:57# And you know what it's worth
0:47:57 > 0:47:59# I'm lonely
0:48:01 > 0:48:03# Wanna die
0:48:06 > 0:48:08# If I ain't dead already
0:48:10 > 0:48:12# Girl, you know the reason why
0:48:17 > 0:48:20# The eagle picks my eye The worm he licks my bone
0:48:20 > 0:48:25# I feel so suicidal Just like Dylan's Mr Jones
0:48:25 > 0:48:27# I'm lonely
0:48:29 > 0:48:31# Wanna die
0:48:34 > 0:48:37# If I ain't dead already
0:48:39 > 0:48:41# Girl, you know the reason why
0:48:44 > 0:48:49# Black cloud crossed my mind Blue mist round my soul
0:48:49 > 0:48:53# Feel so suicidal Even hate my rock 'n' roll
0:48:53 > 0:48:55# I'm lonely
0:48:58 > 0:49:00# Wanna die
0:49:02 > 0:49:05# If I ain't dead already
0:49:05 > 0:49:07# Ooh, girl, you know the reason why...
0:50:30 > 0:50:32# Wanna die
0:50:34 > 0:50:36# Yes, I'm lonely
0:50:39 > 0:50:41# Wanna die. #
0:50:55 > 0:50:59Most songs that you write are pretty much recorded within
0:50:59 > 0:51:02a very short time of you writing them.
0:51:02 > 0:51:09We wrote them on Tuesday and recorded them on Friday,
0:51:09 > 0:51:12so we'd hardly got to know the song itself.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15I mean, that's the hit record, you know,
0:51:15 > 0:51:18Jumpin' Jack Flash, Brown Sugar, whatever.
0:51:18 > 0:51:19At the same time,
0:51:19 > 0:51:23you've only just got to grips with this damn thing and
0:51:23 > 0:51:27so the opportunity to play it over and over again
0:51:27 > 0:51:33so you can only improve on the way that you cut it.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35That song was four, five days old and
0:51:35 > 0:51:39that's the record and that's what everybody hears and thinks that
0:51:39 > 0:51:44that's that, but you get up there every night and you say, "Damn."
0:51:44 > 0:51:48I mean, Satisfaction, I still get into that one...
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Oh! And sometimes you go,
0:51:51 > 0:51:56"Oh, damn, I wish I'd put that lick on the record," because you
0:51:56 > 0:51:59live with them, these songs grow up with you,
0:51:59 > 0:52:02there's no full-stop with them,
0:52:02 > 0:52:04you just try and do it better.
0:52:16 > 0:52:19# Well, I told you once and I told you twice
0:52:21 > 0:52:24# But you never listen to my advice
0:52:27 > 0:52:30# You don't try very hard to please me
0:52:32 > 0:52:36# With what you know it should be easy
0:52:38 > 0:52:41# Well, this could be the last time
0:52:41 > 0:52:44# This could be the last time
0:52:44 > 0:52:49# Maybe the last time I don't know
0:52:51 > 0:52:54# Oh, no Oh, no
0:52:56 > 0:53:00# Well, I'm sorry, girl But I can't stay
0:53:02 > 0:53:05# Feeling like I do today
0:53:08 > 0:53:11# It's too much pain and too much sorrow
0:53:13 > 0:53:17# Guess I'll feel the same tomorrow
0:53:20 > 0:53:22# Well, this could be the last time
0:53:22 > 0:53:26# This could be the last time
0:53:26 > 0:53:30# Maybe the last time I don't know
0:53:32 > 0:53:36# Oh, no Oh, no...
0:54:01 > 0:54:03# Well, this could be the last time
0:54:03 > 0:54:06# This could be the last time
0:54:06 > 0:54:11# Maybe the last time I don't know
0:54:13 > 0:54:17# Oh, no Oh, no
0:54:19 > 0:54:22# Well, I told you once and I told you twice
0:54:24 > 0:54:28# That someone will have to pay the price
0:54:30 > 0:54:33# But here's the chance to change your mind
0:54:36 > 0:54:39# Because I'll be gone a long, long time
0:54:41 > 0:54:47# Well, this could be the last time This could be the last time
0:54:47 > 0:54:52# Maybe the last time I don't know
0:54:54 > 0:54:55# Oh, no
0:54:57 > 0:54:58# Oh, no
0:55:00 > 0:55:02# Last time, baby
0:55:02 > 0:55:04# Saying no more
0:55:05 > 0:55:08# Well, I'm not no more
0:55:08 > 0:55:10# No, not no more
0:55:10 > 0:55:12# Well, I'm not no more
0:55:13 > 0:55:15# I'm not no more
0:55:19 > 0:55:22# I'm not no more
0:55:22 > 0:55:24# No, no, no
0:55:24 > 0:55:27# No, no, no. #
0:55:35 > 0:55:38I look around when we're going on stage and I go, "Yep,
0:55:38 > 0:55:42"there's Mick, Charlie,
0:55:42 > 0:55:48"Ron, there's Darryl. All right, I'm here.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53"Is that all there is?" HE CHUCKLES
0:55:53 > 0:55:59You go out there sometimes feeling stark fucking naked that you've got
0:55:59 > 0:56:02to deliver and once you get up there and hit the first chord...
0:56:05 > 0:56:10..you know that you have something to give and every night is
0:56:10 > 0:56:15kind of reaffirmation of what you think you're doing, because
0:56:15 > 0:56:19two hours a night, three nights a week and all the rest of it is
0:56:19 > 0:56:24like being a Rolling Stone but not actually doing anything.
0:56:24 > 0:56:29Hanging around... Charlie Watts once said somewhere in the
0:56:29 > 0:56:33'80s and I think we'd been together then 25 years and somebody
0:56:33 > 0:56:38asked Charlie Watts, "So, what's it like?"
0:56:38 > 0:56:40And he said, "Well, you know, five years' work
0:56:40 > 0:56:42"and 20 years hanging about."
0:56:44 > 0:56:49Because there's a lot of hanging about, not doing what you're doing.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Are there two Keith Richards?
0:56:52 > 0:56:55You sometimes talk about the guy on stage as though he's
0:56:55 > 0:56:56different from you.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00There's a certain persona that you take on for work.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02I try, as far as I know...
0:57:02 > 0:57:08I don't see much difference because I wouldn't want to be two guys,
0:57:08 > 0:57:12it's kind of difficult, but now and again you do feel it.
0:57:12 > 0:57:13It's not a pain in the heart.
0:57:16 > 0:57:21It's just they're thinking of me like that and I'm like this,
0:57:21 > 0:57:24but I've always tried to be, and the same as I'm trying to do with you,
0:57:24 > 0:57:30Julien, is say it doesn't matter what do you think, I'm just a bloke.
0:57:30 > 0:57:34There ain't nothing special about me except that I've been blessed
0:57:34 > 0:57:40with a certain amount of talent and I've been allowed to express it.
0:57:41 > 0:57:46How concerned are you with your image now? They've made it up.
0:57:46 > 0:57:50I just am. The image is up to them now.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52I can't be bothered to dicker with it.
0:57:52 > 0:57:57You did say, though, a Sagittarian, half man, half horse.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00Licence to shit in the street. HE CHUCKLES
0:58:00 > 0:58:03Also fully armed. Yeah.
0:58:05 > 0:58:07There is a thing about Sagittarian men.
0:58:11 > 0:58:15Also loved this thing on Baudelaire rolled in with a few other cats.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Who would the other cats be? I don't know.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27Probably Opium-Eaters. De Quincey.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30William Burroughs.
0:58:30 > 0:58:34Hugo. A very interesting character.
0:58:39 > 0:58:40I know my Baudelaire.
0:58:45 > 0:58:47I know my De Quincey.
0:58:52 > 0:58:54And I know my Coleridge.
0:59:07 > 0:59:12Well, songwriting you've got to be a bit of a poet to write songs.
0:59:12 > 0:59:18Basically, writing songs is putting poetry to music. Check this out.