0:00:02 > 0:00:04This film contains very strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:06and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10You know, I first met JT years ago, many years ago.
0:00:10 > 0:00:16And a few years later... you know, Sarah...
0:00:18 > 0:00:23And, I'm so excited to be here tonight and I'm so excited
0:00:23 > 0:00:28all of you came to celebrate his work, his words and his...
0:00:31 > 0:00:34..just beautiful, beautiful voice.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39So I just thank you from the bottom of my heart,
0:00:39 > 0:00:44and I thank JT from the bottom of my heart and soul.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54I love you, JT. You are an inspiration. Thank you.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57APPLAUSE
0:01:14 > 0:01:18My guest, JT LeRoy, is a 21-year-old writer with two books of
0:01:18 > 0:01:22fiction based on his experiences as the son of a truck stop prostitute.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26When LeRoy was 15, his therapist, Dr Terry Owens,
0:01:26 > 0:01:27encouraged him to write.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Although LeRoy is forthcoming about his life, he doesn't like to
0:01:31 > 0:01:35show his face to the press, and does most of his interviews by phone.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37This is fresh air.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41So why do you still feel it's so important to keep your
0:01:41 > 0:01:42identity hidden?
0:01:44 > 0:01:48You know, I'm writing about pretty personal stuff.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50And also the gender issues.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Sometimes I like to go out as a girl,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55sometimes I like to go out as a boy.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58So I really never want someone to come up to me and say,
0:01:58 > 0:02:02"I know what you really are," and be in that position where they could hurt me.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Although your work is really catching on,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07some people think that you might not really exist.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10In other words that JT LeRoy might be a pen name, or a hoax,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13or some kind of extended performance piece.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15I mean, do you run into this a lot,
0:02:15 > 0:02:18that people think that this is just some kind of hoax?
0:03:22 > 0:03:28Hi. I'm JT. Jeremiah Terminator LeRoy.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36Jeremiah's from the Bible, but I like it. It makes me feel protected.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I was born in wild West Virginia on Halloween.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47My momma, Sarah, she had me when she was 14.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53She was doing drugs and didn't even know how to change a diaper.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Sarah is a prostitute.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59A lot lizard.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02We live in cars, motels.
0:04:02 > 0:04:08Every new town, we change our names. I can be a boy, or I can be a girl.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12But usually we're sisters because it's more allowed.
0:04:14 > 0:04:20Sarah gets married lots of times. Men just love her. She's beautiful.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21I keep thinking...
0:04:23 > 0:04:27..if I can be as pretty as her, she would see something in me.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42I remember that first call very well.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48A very soft female voice said, "May I speak to Bruce Benderson?"
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Right away, I was very suspicious because it sounded like
0:04:50 > 0:04:53a young girl of maybe 13, 12, 13, 14.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56She said, "Well, I'm a great admirer of your work."
0:05:07 > 0:05:11So I said, "Um, are you a boy?"
0:05:11 > 0:05:14And she answered, "Well, last time I checked, I was."
0:05:40 > 0:05:44On the floor there was an incredible curled pile of paper.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47And I sighed and I tore it off and I started reading it,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49getting ready to throw it away.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Heroin inside... To tell you God's truth...
0:05:52 > 0:05:54And I thought, "My God, this is unbelievable.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56"This person is a genius".
0:05:56 > 0:06:00He had given me his telephone number and I immediately called it back.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12And then I said, "This is amazing, amazingly written."
0:06:28 > 0:06:30It was something I always knew.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Heroin coming in balloons...
0:06:34 > 0:06:36..was a special message to me.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44Yeah, I smoke, shoot the dark tarry clump inside.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53But the balloons are the only thing that's really going to save me.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59The heroin inside, to tell you God's truth,
0:06:59 > 0:07:03is just to tide me over until it is the time.
0:07:04 > 0:07:10It will be a clear day, no clouds, no wind.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Crowds will gather, smiling and joyous.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18People will surround me and slowly attach my silvers, my blues,
0:07:18 > 0:07:20my greens, my yellows.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I feel myself getting lighter,
0:07:24 > 0:07:27as branches of balloons spring from every limb.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34I am the Lord's outcast, coming for their redemption,
0:07:34 > 0:07:37whether they like it or not.
0:07:49 > 0:07:54INTERVIEWER: Tell me about the first phone call you made as JT.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04I would get to a point where I would have to make a call.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06And I remember calling from the bathroom.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I was sitting on the floor by the toilet.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Geoff and I had just moved in together.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21He was in the other room, playing guitar, doing his music.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26And I was just making calls. Thinking about dying.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Wanting to die. And I called Child Crisis.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34It was a number that you could call when you were in pain.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40I remember I didn't know what was going to come out of me.
0:08:40 > 0:08:45I didn't know who was going to bubble up.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47And this man answered.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Hi, I'm Dr Terrence Owens, I'm the clinical director of the
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Masonic Center for Youth and Families.
0:09:20 > 0:09:25He asked what my name was, and it was Terminator, which I never
0:09:25 > 0:09:30would have chosen because it was a stupid name, but that was his name.
0:09:30 > 0:09:36He was 13, turning tricks, living on the street.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41And Dr Owens, he says, "Why don't you call back tomorrow?"
0:09:47 > 0:09:50And I didn't know if Terminator would,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53or if he would be there, or if it would work out.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58A lot of other boys who had been through me... they didn't...
0:09:58 > 0:10:04They didn't live. But he did, and he was there.
0:10:08 > 0:10:14And slowly my life began to revolve around talking to Dr Owens
0:10:14 > 0:10:15that next day.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19So it's as if my world was underwater, and then,
0:10:19 > 0:10:23for that half an hour, Terminator would talk to him and it was...
0:10:25 > 0:10:28a.. gasp of air. And then I'd go under.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36OK, today's date is January 8th and I'm Laura.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44What happened was my parents had gotten divorced when I was in
0:10:44 > 0:10:46eighth grade and it just exploded for me.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53I started dropping out of different schools and my mom was going berserk.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59We'd have these fights and she'd lose control and throw, like,
0:10:59 > 0:11:00heavy things.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06She's going, like, with a different guy all the time, a lot of
0:11:06 > 0:11:09sleazebags that would come on to me that would, you know, try shit.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Like one that would call me up in the middle of the night, tell me
0:11:11 > 0:11:13he loved me, he wanted to be my father,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15but he also wanted to be my lover.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17And my mom's seeing this shit, too.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21She's seeing how fucked up it is, too.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I called up my father. My father said, "Well..."
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I was like, you know, hey, "Fuck you."
0:11:26 > 0:11:30So I decided one day, I have to act, I have to do something.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35I pick up the phone and I dial this hotline.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40And it never ever occurred to me to call as myself.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43What reaction would there be besides,
0:11:43 > 0:11:46"You are fat and ugly and disgusting and deserve it?"
0:11:47 > 0:11:49So I introduced myself as a boy.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56And I talked about the situation at home, that there was physical
0:11:56 > 0:12:00abuse going on and inappropriate sexual relationships.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04And they were so supportive and caring.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09When I hung up the phone, I felt relief.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I don't understand it.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19All I know is that it worked. It was like magic.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23It was fucking incredible. And I was very addicted to that.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Terminator had problems with continuity,
0:12:30 > 0:12:35so Dr Owens suggested that Terminator start to write.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00What Terminator wrote was completely different.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02It really surprised me.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04He wrote this piece called Baby Doll.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20He sent it to Dr Owens.
0:13:26 > 0:13:31And it was like a new world opened.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36So Dr Owens and I found out that Terminator's real name was Jeremy.
0:13:36 > 0:13:41And one day I had to get Dr Owens some of Jeremy's work.
0:13:41 > 0:13:48And I rode all the way over to the hospital. Terminator is driving.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I'm pedalling, but he's driving.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54So I get there, they page Dr Owens.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59I am so terrified.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03I meet Dr Owens and he asked me what my name is.
0:14:03 > 0:14:08I just thought, "How did I get here? Really fast". Speedie.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10That became my name.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15She was, "Hello, I'm Speedie, nice to meet you". She's British.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51So Jeremy wanted to be a better writer.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54So I was reading everything, everything I can get my hands on.
0:15:16 > 0:15:24And it just resonated with everything that lived inside me.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26And I used to pray.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Not, "God, please make me a beautiful, pretty girl."
0:15:28 > 0:15:32It was, "Let me wake up as a cute, blond-haired, blue-eyed boy,
0:15:32 > 0:15:37"a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy that a man would love and want to fuck."
0:15:45 > 0:15:49So this young person reached out. There was a kooky factor.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51When someone is talking like that on the phone saying,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54"I'm homeless, I need to get through to Dennis Cooper,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56"and I'm walking around with a fax machine."
0:16:11 > 0:16:14It seemed perfect for Dennis. And Dennis went for it.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39Well, I mean, it was all like, you know,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42"I love your book, Try, it's my Bible and I totally relate to
0:16:42 > 0:16:45"the character, who lets guys sexually use him."
0:17:00 > 0:17:04He would say he was calling from, sometimes he said a public phone.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Sometimes he said he was at a friend's,
0:17:06 > 0:17:09and eventually the friend became Speedie.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13There wasn't that much time where Jeremy was homeless.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17And eventually he got this boyfriend, Astor,
0:17:17 > 0:17:18so you have this cast of characters.
0:17:18 > 0:17:25And suddenly, I need Astor to be Geoff.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Because Astor didn't exist.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Astor was just on the astral plane.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55So it came to pass that Jeremy is now living with Speedie and
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Astor, as a family.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09Being with my Barbies, I controlled and ordered the universe.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12And my Barbie world was not a happy world.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20There's actually a photo where I have them all lined up, naked,
0:18:20 > 0:18:23with their butts in the air, and they are going to be disciplined.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27I'd make these really intense, very intense stories.
0:18:29 > 0:18:35My Barbies committed crimes of rape and assault, and child abuse.
0:18:37 > 0:18:42They were injured. I could make them bleed. They were given black eyes.
0:18:42 > 0:18:48I had no idea that the way I played Barbie dolls wasn't normal.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Gradually, the story of Terminator began to come out.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01He said that he was from a Southern Baptist background,
0:19:01 > 0:19:04with sadistic fundamentalist grandparents.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09One of whom had made him bathe in a bath tub of bleach.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28It will gradually came out that the Aids that he had was probably
0:19:28 > 0:19:33caught from one of his mother's boyfriends who had abused him.
0:19:33 > 0:19:38And his high voice was probably due to the fact that his genitals
0:19:38 > 0:19:42had been mutilated so that he never went into puberty.
0:20:00 > 0:20:05He finally succumbed to my constant questions by offering to send
0:20:05 > 0:20:06me photos.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14They showed a rather attractive blonde boy of about 15.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18And I actually framed them and put them on my bookcase with the
0:20:18 > 0:20:21pictures of my family and of my lover.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26At that point, helping him develop as a writer became a mission for me.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15There's not a lot of discovery in publishing any more.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19To hear a new voice was exciting.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24William Burroughs, Genet, Allen Ginsberg,
0:21:24 > 0:21:29all these people provided voices to an alternative culture.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31And suddenly it seemed like there was a torch bearer.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35This was a homeless teenager who was dealing with HIV,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39just getting off the streets, someone whose work spoke to
0:21:39 > 0:21:42an aspect of American culture I hadn't heard about before.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Then it fucking shouldn't. I knew I still needed to write.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09I still wanted to write.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11But I wasn't going to fucking write that shit.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14And I didn't let them publish the work.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17You sure as fuck don't walk away from a book deal. And I did.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I'm 32 years old and I'm pregnant.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39And I'm still talking to Dr Owens, but everything's shifting.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46But Jeremy is still there.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51And my body has just betrayed him in the ultimate fucking way.
0:22:54 > 0:23:02I am completely female. I have given birth to a baby boy who I'm nursing.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06There is no hope in hell that I'm ever going to give Jeremy the
0:23:06 > 0:23:10body that he really, really wants.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15Because my focus, my number one priority is this baby. Not him.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22And then one day the door of willingness opened.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28It was exactly like watching a movie.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31It was like a 1940s serial, a cliff-hanger.
0:23:31 > 0:23:36I would only see to the next road sign. I was in the fog.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40I'd get right up to that point. Then I'd end it.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I didn't know where it was going to go ever,
0:23:42 > 0:23:46but it kept leading me and I would just watch it unfold.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49And it was so much fun.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06I look up and see the glowing aura of the Holy Jackalope Shrine.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21Everyone closes their eyes and makes their prayer for new-found
0:24:21 > 0:24:22abandonness powers.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28I reach down into my tube top,
0:24:28 > 0:24:33grab my raccoon penis bone and clutch it tight.
0:24:33 > 0:24:39"Please, oh, divine jackalope, I want to be a real lizard.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43"I want to earn a huge bone."
0:24:46 > 0:24:50I finish writing the story and I don't know what it is.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54I speak to the editor and he comes back to me and he says...
0:24:55 > 0:24:57"You wrote a novel."
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Sarah came in and it felt fully formed.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03It was like Athena emerging from Zeus's head.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06It sounded like a vision sounds.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18The book is very different than the other Terminator writing,
0:25:18 > 0:25:20so we need a different name.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22He doesn't want to use his name, Jeremy,
0:25:22 > 0:25:26so the editor suggests using his initials.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Jeremy Terminator. JT.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34Jeremy had a last name from a phone sex client of mine, LeRoy.
0:25:50 > 0:25:56So we have the name. JT LeRoy. So they send out the accidental book.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01And I have no idea how it's going to be received,
0:26:01 > 0:26:03because I know it's really weird.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07I haven't seen anything else like it out there.
0:26:07 > 0:26:12And we start getting reviews back. And they are really, really good.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17And it's the most exciting feeling,
0:26:17 > 0:26:22to get this response from this book that I didn't mean to write.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Today, we are going to be doing Sarah by JT LeRoy.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55JT LeRoy is a very young American author who burst on the
0:26:55 > 0:26:57literary scene.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59It made me think of all those Southern stories,
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Flannery O'Connor and Faulkner.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Southern Gothic, super-sized.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05There's a lot of Truman Capote in this guy.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I particularly liked this young boy-girl,
0:27:08 > 0:27:13and the collision between naivete and maturity.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17It's like this weird little supernova called Sarah.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24JT LeRoy is very, very shy. He can't do readings.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27So people suggest, "He can't read it, let us read it."
0:27:30 > 0:27:34So it was the first reading ever, and I was there.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- And nobody knew I was there. - Hey, everybody.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Welcome to the reading for JT LeRoy's book, Sarah,
0:27:40 > 0:27:41that just came out.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54I would have died if anybody knew,
0:27:54 > 0:27:59because I'm big and I'm not comfortable in my skin.
0:27:59 > 0:28:04And everybody's coming to hear this really hip, new, cool writer,
0:28:04 > 0:28:06and I'm not it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13All right, this is Laura again.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16I just was getting incredibly depressed.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20I knew being at home was really fucking me up.
0:28:20 > 0:28:26And my mother didn't know what to do with me. So I wanted to get help.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29We were going to this place, St Vincent's.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33It's a mental institution, like a loony bin.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35And we packed up our stuff and we went.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39We went upstairs to the unit and there were these old people
0:28:39 > 0:28:43just walking around in a Thorazine daze.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46It's a very scary place for a 13-year-old to walk in,
0:28:46 > 0:28:49but I felt safe because I'm like, "Hey, I'm with my mom."
0:28:49 > 0:28:53And then I said, "OK, Mom, I've had enough of this, I want to go."
0:28:53 > 0:28:56And she said to me, "I'm going. You're staying."
0:29:02 > 0:29:05So Sarah was out in the world to great acclaim.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08And they wanted more JT LeRoy.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12So we took a collection of those old Terminator stories.
0:29:38 > 0:29:42We titled it, The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46And that became JT LeRoy's next novel.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37JT has quite a following.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Some refer to it as a cult following.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43I came because I really wanted to see what all the hype was about.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46He's created, you know, this buzz around him.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50JT LeRoy's reclusiveness was the buzz.
0:30:50 > 0:30:55The lack of a body at the funeral made it that much more interesting.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Since JT doesn't come out and read for himself,
0:30:57 > 0:31:00he's got an enormous support group of celebrities who will come
0:31:00 > 0:31:03out and read his work because they love him.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07Well, I feel like I have a new good friend because I've been
0:31:07 > 0:31:09speaking to him on the phone all week.
0:31:17 > 0:31:22In Sarah, the raccoon bone is a kind of badge of honour.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26It's the hooker's equivalent of a military sash or
0:31:26 > 0:31:28a boy scout's merit badge.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32I just can't bring myself to bring in, at this stage of my life,
0:31:32 > 0:31:36another mammal's penis resting on my neck.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39The signed JT Leroy racoon penis bone was
0:31:39 > 0:31:41a brilliant piece of ephemera.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44They sold. They sold. People bought these racoon penis bones.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47That was as close as anyone was going to get to JT Leroy.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55Yes, I do. I believe that I will meet him. I do.
0:32:15 > 0:32:19So the books were taking off, especially overseas, and you had
0:32:19 > 0:32:25German media really, really wanting to do live in-person interviews.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29JT Leroy had to walk amongst us.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36So one day, Savannah was over our house and she was sitting on
0:32:36 > 0:32:41the couch and she'd shaved her head and dyed her hair blue and
0:32:41 > 0:32:44she wanted to try on my glasses.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46I had this straw hat.
0:32:46 > 0:32:50And I'd given her a racoon penis bone and she's chewing on it
0:32:50 > 0:32:55like a corncob pipe and I'm looking at her and I said,
0:32:55 > 0:33:00"You know, you look like JT Leroy."
0:33:00 > 0:33:02So I came up with an idea.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Just a one- off, you wear the sunglasses,
0:33:05 > 0:33:09a cute blonde wig, we'll, like, bind your boobs.
0:33:09 > 0:33:15It will be really fast. You'll get 50 bucks. And she was down.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54When we were on shoot, Savannah's standing on Pope Street
0:33:54 > 0:33:58dressed kind of raggedy, looking like a street hustler.
0:34:01 > 0:34:07I was so scared that she could not articulate him.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10And they interviewed Savannah. They interviewed JT.
0:34:20 > 0:34:26And it was amazing to watch how he actually settled into her.
0:34:26 > 0:34:31She just had those features that were more masculine.
0:34:31 > 0:34:35Which fit perfectly for an adolescent boy.
0:34:43 > 0:34:44Savannah was perfect.
0:34:44 > 0:34:49And it was this really liberating moment because it was almost
0:34:49 > 0:34:52like in Frankenstein, let there be life.
0:34:54 > 0:34:59I was watching JT live.
0:35:08 > 0:35:13I was ostracised and people were like, "Oh, you were in a loony bin?"
0:35:13 > 0:35:16You're a loony.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18I felt like a misfit.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23I was totally alienated and I found this secret society,
0:35:23 > 0:35:25and it was mine.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29In ninth grade I got into punk. It helped me, all right?
0:35:29 > 0:35:32I had a lot of problems and it helped me.
0:35:32 > 0:35:38I got Stiff Little Fingers, Generation X and The Sex Pistols.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41I heard those records and my fate was sealed.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43I mean, it was everything. That was it.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48But I would only go out if I felt I'd lost enough weight.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51If I could fit into an outfit that was punk enough.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53There's nothing worse than being a fat punk.
0:35:55 > 0:35:58So I would send my sister out into the world to live for me.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03JoJo was my avatar in the punk world.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07I would dress her up, I'd put on her make-up, I would do her hair.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13I had a leather jacket. I would put the badges on her.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14I would choose a T-shirt.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21I perfected her look, which was borderline androgynous.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Like, she could be a guy. But she also looked cute.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29I would tell her who she was going to talk to,
0:36:29 > 0:36:31who she was going to meet.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36And she had to report back to me. And I'd send her off.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41I was as intensely deep in the scene as I could possibly get, living
0:36:41 > 0:36:45in my head, watching it unfold, without actually having to be there.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Hey, Mikey. How long have I been here on this street?
0:36:56 > 0:36:59On this crusade?
0:36:59 > 0:37:02I loved Gus Van Sant's My Own Private Idaho,
0:37:02 > 0:37:07so when he wanted to option Sarah it was as if we were following
0:37:07 > 0:37:09a path that was already predestined.
0:37:26 > 0:37:31As JT Leroy, I have had hours of conversation with him.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33But now we have to meet him.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39How the fuck am I going to give all those details,
0:37:39 > 0:37:42little minute things, to Savannah?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45What if they talk about a film?
0:37:48 > 0:37:50He comes to San Francisco
0:37:50 > 0:37:53and he brings the actor Michael Pitt with him.
0:37:53 > 0:37:57So we go to a restaurant and we're waiting for Gus to show up and
0:37:57 > 0:37:59I am very, very nervous.
0:37:59 > 0:38:04I'm the assistant but I have to be an advocate for the book and
0:38:04 > 0:38:06get stuff done.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08So we meet Gus.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32They're bringing out all these really, really expensive
0:38:32 > 0:38:36dishes and I really want to find out what he wants to do with Sarah.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56And it's like, why should he be talking to Speedie,
0:38:56 > 0:38:59JT's assistant, about his plans for Sarah.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02And Speedie is right up in Gus's face.
0:39:02 > 0:39:08"Oh, Gus, God, you know, My Own Private Idaho is so fucking great.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11"River Phoenix, oh, my God, what was he like?
0:39:11 > 0:39:14"Oi, Gus, fucking barn crash."
0:39:16 > 0:39:18"How the fuck did you do that, mate?"
0:39:18 > 0:39:24Speedie had to overcompensate with this kind of entertaining fat
0:39:24 > 0:39:25girl persona.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30And I actually felt really bad about myself.
0:39:30 > 0:39:38I'm big, I feel a lot of shame about my body that it was really
0:39:38 > 0:39:42empowering to have Speedie take over.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48We're outside the restaurant was Gus Van Sant.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53And we're just hanging out and JT and Mike Pitt
0:39:53 > 0:39:56are smoking a cigarette.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59And the next thing I know, they're kissing.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31So Sarah was like a message in the bottle to the world.
0:40:31 > 0:40:36And suddenly other artists wanted that connection.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40# And you give yourself away
0:40:40 > 0:40:42# And you give yourself away... #
0:40:43 > 0:40:45We're getting VIP passes,
0:40:45 > 0:40:49we go backstage and we go to the intimate after party.
0:40:49 > 0:40:54The Edge is there and I'm watching Bono call JT over and I know
0:40:54 > 0:40:57what's coming.
0:40:57 > 0:41:02It's what happens to every artist when they've arrived.
0:41:02 > 0:41:08It's their an anointment into what will be coming next.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12It's to help usher them through the portal.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15You have the Bono talk.
0:41:15 > 0:41:19# Sleight of hand and twist of fate... #
0:41:19 > 0:41:24So I see Bono snuggled close in with his arm around JT.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26And if you didn't know better,
0:41:26 > 0:41:30you would think they were father and son.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34And Bono is very lovingly giving him industry advice.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Watch out for the sharks,
0:41:36 > 0:41:41be who you are and never forget where you came from.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47While JT's getting the Bono talk, Speedie is getting the manager talk.
0:41:48 > 0:41:53Paul McGuinness, U2's manager, comes over to Speedie and he says,
0:41:53 > 0:41:56did you see what my boy did for yours?
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Oh, what did your boy do for mine?
0:42:00 > 0:42:04And he whips out Rolling Stone Magazine and there it is.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08Bono says The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things is blowing
0:42:08 > 0:42:09my fucking mind.
0:42:27 > 0:42:32I'm 16 going on 17 and I'm committed again for the second time.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35And the social workers were very clear that I should
0:42:35 > 0:42:36absolutely not go home.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41So my parents gave up custody and I became a ward of the state.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45And I ended up in a friendly home,
0:42:45 > 0:42:48a group home run by the Jewish Child Care Agency.
0:42:50 > 0:42:54One day, I saw this beautiful skinhead hanging outside the
0:42:54 > 0:42:56New Yorker movie theatre.
0:42:56 > 0:43:02And he's got the braces and oxblood Doc Martens.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05We'd just seen The Who Quadrophenia.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08And I thought, how do I approach him?
0:43:08 > 0:43:11And I decided to use a British accent because I knew nothing
0:43:11 > 0:43:14would be more irresistible to a Brit-style skinhead.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17And we fell in love.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22I would bring him into the group home and all the girls would
0:43:22 > 0:43:24know I'm British.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27"Hello, this is my boyfriend. This is Mick."
0:43:27 > 0:43:30"Yeah, so he's going to, like, be joining us for dinner."
0:43:30 > 0:43:33He's like, you know, "What's so funny? Are they laughing at me?"
0:43:33 > 0:43:36"Oh, no, no, no, they just haven't had a skinhead over,
0:43:36 > 0:43:38"they just think it's cute."
0:43:38 > 0:43:41It was probably about four months of going out with each other
0:43:41 > 0:43:43before he found out that I wasn't British.
0:44:27 > 0:44:31So, suddenly, JT is the go-to person for the fashion world.
0:44:34 > 0:44:40And to have JT being an icon for fashion sensibility was very,
0:44:40 > 0:44:42very surreal.
0:44:45 > 0:44:49Because it was just at that point where I was beginning to be
0:44:49 > 0:44:55able to dress myself instead of just dressing the avatar.
0:45:27 > 0:45:28The Italians love JT,
0:45:28 > 0:45:32the books are number one and number two on the bestseller list.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37So the Italian publishers, Fotzi,
0:45:37 > 0:45:41bring JT and Speedie over to Italy to do readings.
0:45:43 > 0:45:49Asia Argento was this big Italian star. We had seen her movie xXx.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51She played, like, a Russian action star.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57Weapons, there are more weapons here on the back.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01Her father is Dario Argento, the horror master.
0:46:01 > 0:46:02SCREAMING
0:46:06 > 0:46:10And Asia had gotten the books.
0:46:30 > 0:46:35And she was hoping to convince JT to give her the rights.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38And we meet Asia.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41As Speedie, I go over to her and I say,
0:46:41 > 0:46:43"Oh, it's really nice to meet you. God, you're so pretty.
0:46:43 > 0:46:48"You look like a young Drew Barrymore."
0:46:48 > 0:46:52So the Italian publishers were really excited because there
0:46:52 > 0:46:59was this literary event and somehow they squeezed JT on to the bill.
0:47:00 > 0:47:05So, when we get there, there are fans waiting for us to arrive.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09And Savannah is getting nervous because she has not done
0:47:09 > 0:47:10a live reading before.
0:47:10 > 0:47:15So she goes into a porta-potty and she throws up.
0:47:16 > 0:47:20It's time for her to go on and our host presents JT LeRoy,
0:47:20 > 0:47:23the best selling author, to Milan.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26And I really wanted to protect her anonymity.
0:47:26 > 0:47:31She's wearing sunglasses and a visor.
0:47:31 > 0:47:32She's really scared.
0:47:32 > 0:47:38Her body is trembling. So I think to myself, what would Warhol do?
0:47:38 > 0:47:43I tell her, get under the table. Fuck 'em.
0:47:43 > 0:47:44And she does.
0:47:44 > 0:47:47She takes the microphone and goes under the table.
0:47:48 > 0:47:52And she's reading and you can barely hear her voice.
0:47:54 > 0:47:58I can't help but stare at his oversized hands as they grip
0:47:58 > 0:48:01the lighter tightly, the same way I've seen him grip one of his
0:48:01 > 0:48:03girl's wrists as he dragged her into another room.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07And afterwards there's a silence.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11And then there's this huge wave of applause.
0:48:14 > 0:48:21And she suddenly realises that she's in a stadium and it's packed.
0:48:21 > 0:48:26And she jumps and she turns around and goes face first into the
0:48:26 > 0:48:31microphone and you just hear from the entire audience,
0:48:31 > 0:48:36a gasp and then they go... "Oh!"
0:48:36 > 0:48:37And they love it.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43And she runs off.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45And it was perfect.
0:48:46 > 0:48:49It was perfect.
0:48:51 > 0:48:58So JT and Asia, right away, JT was just smitten.
0:48:58 > 0:49:05Asia swept JT off his feet. And I was attached to his feet.
0:49:05 > 0:49:07I was the kite tail that had to come along.
0:49:08 > 0:49:13It's June, it's Rome, I'm watching JT go off with Asia.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15It was made very clear that I was in the way.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18It was kind of like, "Speedie, go home."
0:49:19 > 0:49:25I feel really lonely because my Barbie dolls have come to life.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28And there's definitely that feeling that they wouldn't mind
0:49:28 > 0:49:29killing me off.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35JT comes back to the hotel where we are with lipstick all over
0:49:35 > 0:49:40her face, smelling like Asia's perfume, and she was high and
0:49:40 > 0:49:45her wig had come off and she had had something happen.
0:49:54 > 0:49:59And she was on cloud nine and she just didn't want to talk to me.
0:49:59 > 0:50:01And what I have to remind her is...
0:50:01 > 0:50:05..you're on the clock, you're on the dime. This is about a movie.
0:50:05 > 0:50:09I have to know because when we're on the phone, she might be
0:50:09 > 0:50:14calling me, not necessarily JT and I have to match that stuff.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Asia was going to get that book, one way or the other.
0:50:42 > 0:50:48She would do whatever it took. Whatever needed to be done.
0:50:48 > 0:50:55And I respected that and I thought, "Yeah, you can make this movie."
0:50:59 > 0:51:03So Gus and JT were talking all the time and they get along
0:51:03 > 0:51:08so well that Gus agrees to do a photo shoot for Abercrombie
0:51:08 > 0:51:12and Fitch where JT was literally walking on water.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19Gus' option on Sarah had already expired but he had
0:51:19 > 0:51:22a project which I really loved.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24It was based on Columbine...
0:51:26 > 0:51:30..and seeing kids taking guns into school and killing everybody.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36They, like, started blowing up and shooting everyone in the cafeteria...
0:51:37 > 0:51:43And having been bullied in the hallways of my grammar school
0:51:43 > 0:51:47and getting ready to get home and escape into my dolls...
0:51:49 > 0:51:51Because school was just torture.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54I was constantly being mocked,
0:51:54 > 0:51:56laughed at and taunted for my weight.
0:51:59 > 0:52:04My name is Laura Albert, my last name is Albert, and I was
0:52:04 > 0:52:07chubby and when I'd come into school, all the kids would yell...
0:52:12 > 0:52:15It was horrible. It just never, ever, ever stopped.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21So when Gus said, "I have this project."
0:52:21 > 0:52:23That's all he needed to say.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26That night I just sat and wrote the first scene,
0:52:26 > 0:52:28which he ended up using.
0:52:28 > 0:52:33It was a girl that was unattractive. She was overweight.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37She was in the library and she gets shot.
0:52:37 > 0:52:38Hey, you guys...
0:52:40 > 0:52:43I wrote a whole script but the problem was,
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Gus had gone through a portal.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48He was really inspired by the auteur Bela Tarr,
0:52:48 > 0:52:51who would do these really long tracking shots.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55And he was also really into improvisation.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Hey, what are you guys doing?
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Just get the fuck out and don't come back.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56In my dreams I'm a rock star and I'm Miss America and I'm
0:53:56 > 0:54:03a tap dancer and you know, there are so many things I'd like to do
0:54:03 > 0:54:05but I think I'm more interested in...
0:54:05 > 0:54:10I mean, music is even more than literature.
0:54:10 > 0:54:14It's more immediate impact of an artist getting through to
0:54:14 > 0:54:18someone and sharing their vision.
0:54:18 > 0:54:24By the time his name became JT LeRoy and Sarah was published, I was
0:54:24 > 0:54:27already having misgivings about the way the Terminator was
0:54:27 > 0:54:30managing his career.
0:54:30 > 0:54:36I had wanted to nurture a pure literary presence and more
0:54:36 > 0:54:40and more I heard about these celebrities being added to the mix.
0:54:42 > 0:54:48It was a revolving door of celebrity, both marginal and real.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54My fear was that JT LeRoy wouldn't be taken seriously if the
0:54:54 > 0:54:57only thing that existed was the veneer of celebrity.
0:54:58 > 0:55:03I pulled JT aside and said, "It's time to get back to the writing.
0:55:03 > 0:55:07"It's time to become a writer again. It's the only thing you have."
0:55:07 > 0:55:10I worried that he was getting too pulled into the art world,
0:55:10 > 0:55:12the cinema world, the fashion world, especially as the book
0:55:12 > 0:55:16started to do well and he was interested in more the music world.
0:55:16 > 0:55:20It's about me. I mean, it's about the story.
0:55:20 > 0:55:25I remember this enormous amount of time that JT spent writing
0:55:25 > 0:55:26lyrics for this band.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30OK, we're Thistle.
0:56:05 > 0:56:09I fell in love with Geoff because he was a born musician.
0:56:11 > 0:56:15His dream, his goal was always to be a rock star.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18And I really wanted to be a singer.
0:56:20 > 0:56:24And we just worked together all the time on our music.
0:56:24 > 0:56:28I would write the melodies and lyrics and he would put it together.
0:56:29 > 0:56:34And I loved what he had come up with. So we started a relationship.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41And now, even though Geoff and I were still creating music
0:56:41 > 0:56:46together, it felt like I was moving more towards
0:56:46 > 0:56:51a life with his sister instead of a life with him.
0:56:51 > 0:56:55And I really wanted to keep our connection and his goal and
0:56:55 > 0:56:56dream alive.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00So we'd start sending the music out and, of course,
0:57:00 > 0:57:02who wrote the lyrics?
0:57:02 > 0:57:09JT LeRoy. Who wrote the melodies? JT LeRoy. Who sang it? Speedie.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41And Speedie actually morphs into a new character instead of
0:57:41 > 0:57:43being JT's handler.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Fat, hiding in the background.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48Now I am Emily Frasier,
0:57:48 > 0:57:51lead singer of Thistle and we appear at all of JT's readings.
0:58:12 > 0:58:17I'm on stage singing. Me, Speedie. Now Emily Frasier.
0:58:17 > 0:58:22And next to me playing guitar is Geoff, my partner.
0:58:22 > 0:58:26Savannah's brother, Astor, Terminator's former lover.
0:58:26 > 0:58:30And then dancing in front of us in the audience was Savannah,
0:58:30 > 0:58:35my son's aunt, JT LeRoy. So the levels of it are absurd.
0:58:58 > 0:59:01For the release of JT LeRoy's third book Harold's End,
0:59:01 > 0:59:04the Dyche Gallery is hosting a mega event.
0:59:07 > 0:59:10Lou Reed is on stage, bringing Natoma Street to life.
0:59:14 > 0:59:18And everybody is trying to have a moment with JT.
0:59:19 > 0:59:24I go over to the balcony and I look down at the throngs of people.
0:59:24 > 0:59:29And I see my dad. I'd invited him. And he's just laughing.
0:59:31 > 0:59:34And it's a moment of pride.
0:59:34 > 0:59:39He's seen me hospitalised, he had to sign his rights away as
0:59:39 > 0:59:42a parent and this feels like a really nice gift.
0:59:44 > 0:59:49He can't tell anyone, but he knows. And that's all that matters.
1:00:23 > 1:00:27# Disarm you with a smile
1:00:27 > 1:00:31# And cut you like you want me to
1:00:31 > 1:00:33# Cut that little child... #
1:00:33 > 1:00:37I really loved the Smashing Pumpkins and no male artists at the
1:00:37 > 1:00:40time were talking about child abuse, so I really had hoped one day
1:00:40 > 1:00:45that JT would have an opportunity to talk to Billy.
1:01:09 > 1:01:13So later that night, there was a show. Spaceland.
1:01:13 > 1:01:16We get there and the door people say, "Where is JT?"
1:01:16 > 1:01:19And I say, "Oh, you know, he's already in there.
1:01:19 > 1:01:23"He's like back in the crowd so he'll meet Billy after."
1:01:23 > 1:01:29I've got this red hair and I've lost weight and I'm feeling maybe
1:01:29 > 1:01:30even a little pretty.
1:01:35 > 1:01:40And it's just amazing. I'm right out front in this small little club.
1:01:40 > 1:01:41SINGING
1:01:44 > 1:01:48And it feels like he's looking at me.
1:01:54 > 1:01:58So after the show we go backstage and I'm really nervous.
1:01:58 > 1:02:02Billy's sitting there in the back and he asks me, "Where's JT?"
1:02:02 > 1:02:06And I explain, "I'm Speedie. Hi, nice to meet you.
1:02:06 > 1:02:10"JT, you know, he got really... He ran away, sorry."
1:02:10 > 1:02:12And we just start talking.
1:02:14 > 1:02:20And we're connecting in ways that language doesn't even capture.
1:02:22 > 1:02:27And I'm picking up that I can tell him anything.
1:02:29 > 1:02:33And I realise everything had been moving me up to that point.
1:02:35 > 1:02:39And he motioned for me to sit down next to him and you can
1:02:39 > 1:02:46barely hear each other but I turned to him and into his ear I said...
1:02:48 > 1:02:50I remember this feeling.
1:02:51 > 1:02:55It felt like I was Tarzan and I was just grabbing hold of the
1:02:55 > 1:02:59vine and I was swinging out over the gorge and I knew,
1:02:59 > 1:03:02"I'm going to fucking let go."
1:03:04 > 1:03:08And I said to him, "JT was an accident."
1:03:12 > 1:03:16And he said, "I understand what you're saying.
1:03:16 > 1:03:18"I don't get all the details, but I get it."
1:03:18 > 1:03:21And the rest of the night we just talked about the details.
1:03:21 > 1:03:26It was the most freeing, amazing feeling ever.
1:03:26 > 1:03:31And we were together constantly.
1:03:31 > 1:03:35Even Geoff was with us and Billy was his hero too.
1:04:02 > 1:04:06We were at the Chateau Marmont and Geoff was downstairs,
1:04:06 > 1:04:10hanging out with the rest of the band and I was in Billy's room and
1:04:10 > 1:04:16it was amazing to lay with my ear on his chest as he played and sang.
1:04:18 > 1:04:25I was coming alive on all kinds of different levels and finally,
1:04:25 > 1:04:27I don't know what time in the morning,
1:04:27 > 1:04:29Geoff knocked on the door...
1:04:29 > 1:04:33..and he said, "I'm here for my wife."
1:04:35 > 1:04:39But who really wasn't happy was JT LeRoy.
1:04:39 > 1:04:42JT was really pissed and he felt like, "Oh, great.
1:04:42 > 1:04:45"Laura is going to steal him away."
1:04:45 > 1:04:49I outed myself to Billy but that doesn't mean their
1:04:49 > 1:04:50relationship ends.
1:04:51 > 1:04:55So I told him, "JT is not happy.
1:04:55 > 1:04:59"JT still wants a relationship with you."
1:04:59 > 1:05:02And this is something I have never done.
1:05:02 > 1:05:09While I'm there with Billy, physically with him, JT,
1:05:09 > 1:05:12in my body, spoke to him.
1:05:17 > 1:05:24"Now, you're going to leave me. And I don't want you to leave me."
1:05:27 > 1:05:31And Billy assured him that, that was not true.
1:05:34 > 1:05:40That he could be there for me, he could be there for JT and for
1:05:40 > 1:05:42anybody else that came through this body.
1:05:47 > 1:05:52So, The Heart is Deceitful is being made by Asia Argento. It's a-go.
1:05:52 > 1:05:59So we fly into Knoxville and we drive to the set and it's an
1:05:59 > 1:06:03actual truck stop and I've never been on
1:06:03 > 1:06:09a real working truck stop and I'm walking down a long corridor and all
1:06:09 > 1:06:15the sleeping trucks are on the sides and it's absolutely picture-perfect.
1:06:15 > 1:06:20They wanted to make every part of the book true to life.
1:06:20 > 1:06:23And they're shooting one of my favourite scenes.
1:06:23 > 1:06:28It's Lizards, where Asia is playing Sarah, Jeremy's mother,
1:06:28 > 1:06:31and she is going to go turn some tricks.
1:06:32 > 1:06:35So I joined the set and nobody knows I'm there.
1:06:35 > 1:06:39And I'm watching on the monitor and Asia, this Italian actress,
1:06:39 > 1:06:43is playing a West Virginian truck stop prostitute.
1:06:43 > 1:06:46And somehow, it fucking works.
1:06:46 > 1:06:49It was like a mirror in a mirror in a mirror because everything
1:06:49 > 1:06:54was created from my dream, which was based on reality,
1:06:54 > 1:06:56which was based on a dream.
1:06:59 > 1:07:01- And cut.- Cut!
1:07:02 > 1:07:06And everyone's waiting to see what's going to happen when
1:07:06 > 1:07:08JT sees his world.
1:07:09 > 1:07:10And I feel it too.
1:07:10 > 1:07:16And I'm watching JT taking it all in and I'm like,
1:07:16 > 1:07:20"It's pretty good, right? They kind of got it."
1:07:20 > 1:07:27And JT's like... "Wow! You guys really made it real."
1:10:31 > 1:10:33We get there at night and descend down into Cannes,
1:10:33 > 1:10:36which, to me, looked like Miami.
1:10:36 > 1:10:42We are introduced to all these celebrities and they know who JT is.
1:11:06 > 1:11:10They're having this huge press interview.
1:11:10 > 1:11:14They're asking what it's like to be on the street, to turn tricks,
1:11:14 > 1:11:17what it's like to dig coal mines.
1:11:19 > 1:11:21INTERVIEWER: Can you talk close to the microphone?
1:11:21 > 1:11:24Nobody can understand what he says.
1:11:24 > 1:11:28It doesn't matter if they can't translate it. They are just riveted.
1:11:30 > 1:11:35And I realised that it's like Mark Twain's Prince and the Pauper.
1:11:35 > 1:11:39I could try to prove that I am really the writer,
1:11:39 > 1:11:47I am LeRoy, the real king, and no-one would believe me.
1:11:48 > 1:11:53I was there watching JT get dressed up and they are going to walk
1:11:53 > 1:11:57the red carpet and I'm like a mile away.
1:11:57 > 1:12:00I'm not even allowed on the perimeter.
1:12:00 > 1:12:02'We should get going.
1:12:02 > 1:12:06'If you see Speedie go then we waited too long.'
1:12:06 > 1:12:08This is the big screening.
1:12:08 > 1:12:11- Everyone's in the house. - We've got the Weinsteins...
1:12:13 > 1:12:16And it feels like the whole world is watching.
1:12:19 > 1:12:24So we go in to the packed Cannes cinema and every head turns.
1:12:24 > 1:12:32They've spotted JT. I'm sitting there and the crowd is roaring.
1:12:42 > 1:12:47So, the lights go down, the curtain goes up and the film begins.
1:12:49 > 1:12:52There is young Jimmy Bennett singing The Sex Pistols,
1:12:52 > 1:12:53slamming down the Bible.
1:13:06 > 1:13:10And then a meth house explosion, Buddy running out on fire as
1:13:10 > 1:13:13he chases after Sarah and Jeremy as they drive away from him.
1:13:17 > 1:13:21And that amazing scene where Asia, playing JT's mother,
1:13:21 > 1:13:26is accused outside Piggly Wiggly of shoplifting and opens her
1:13:26 > 1:13:31black raincoat to reveal herself completely stark fucking naked.
1:13:31 > 1:13:33- Want to check my cunt? - No, I don't.
1:13:33 > 1:13:36- Is she going to be all right? - She's tired. She'll be OK.
1:13:36 > 1:13:41And I'm sitting there watching our movie, waiting for our cameos.
1:13:41 > 1:13:44And all of them were left on the cutting room floor.
1:13:47 > 1:13:51And after, there's just this silence.
1:13:53 > 1:13:58Except JT is sobbing and I know I need to comfort JT.
1:14:03 > 1:14:08It wasn't a game. This wasn't a joke.
1:14:08 > 1:14:16We know it as JT's true story, life, but we also know it as fiction.
1:14:34 > 1:14:39I was watching this HBO show, Deadwood, and this voice in
1:14:39 > 1:14:41my head keeps getting louder and louder,
1:14:41 > 1:14:44"Go to Deadwood. Go to Deadwood."
1:14:48 > 1:14:51So, as JT, I call a magazine and I ask them,
1:14:51 > 1:14:53"Hey, can I cover Deadwood for you?"
1:14:53 > 1:14:57And they say, "All right, JT. Anything you want."
1:16:34 > 1:16:37I just felt...
1:16:37 > 1:16:43The realm of possibility of being inside myself as an artist
1:16:43 > 1:16:48and owning my own art suddenly materialise.
1:16:53 > 1:16:56One of the great things about the group home is they
1:16:56 > 1:16:58encouraged us to go to college.
1:17:01 > 1:17:05So I got accepted into Eugene Lang Seminar College,
1:17:05 > 1:17:06which is part of the new school.
1:17:06 > 1:17:11And I loved it. I took every writing class I could get my hands on.
1:17:11 > 1:17:14Even when I was a little girl, I was writing all the time.
1:17:16 > 1:17:19The first time I got published, I was about seven or eight years old,
1:17:19 > 1:17:22I had written a story for a school and it was called
1:17:22 > 1:17:26The Flower that Grew Overnight and I used a male protagonist.
1:17:28 > 1:17:30And I was hooked. I was addicted.
1:17:30 > 1:17:32It was the most amazing feeling in the world.
1:17:36 > 1:17:40In these writing classes, being able to tell a really good story...
1:17:41 > 1:17:43..I got the teacher's attention.
1:17:47 > 1:17:49I got the class's attention.
1:17:50 > 1:17:54But I had a writing teacher and she was very strict about girls
1:17:54 > 1:17:57writing as girls and boys as boys.
1:17:57 > 1:18:00And I told her, "I need to write in a male voice."
1:18:00 > 1:18:01But she wouldn't let me.
1:18:02 > 1:18:06And I submitted this story dealing with some pretty hard-core
1:18:06 > 1:18:10abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, in a female voice.
1:18:12 > 1:18:16And it was killing me. And I flipped out.
1:18:16 > 1:18:20I had a... I had a breakdown.
1:18:20 > 1:18:23I didn't want to have anything to do with writing any more.
1:18:23 > 1:18:25I just didn't want to do it. I couldn't do it.
1:18:28 > 1:18:30Rolling.
1:18:35 > 1:18:38I'm sitting outside the writer's room and I get a phone call from
1:18:38 > 1:18:39a reporter.
1:20:04 > 1:20:07I felt... scared.
1:20:07 > 1:20:11Someone was tugging pretty hard at the curtain and I didn't know
1:20:11 > 1:20:13how to shut it down.
1:20:14 > 1:20:17So I called Geoff and he says to me...
1:20:23 > 1:20:27Like, Pynchon. Nobody knows who he is. Like Salinger.
1:20:27 > 1:20:30He was out there and now he's disappeared. Just pull the plug.
1:20:31 > 1:20:36It's probably what a sane person would do if this was a sane
1:20:36 > 1:20:38situation, but I couldn't do it.
1:20:40 > 1:20:42I tell him, "I'm just going forward."
1:21:16 > 1:21:20I was in San Francisco when the New York magazine article hit.
1:21:22 > 1:21:24This is Day Today. I'm Madeleine Brin.
1:21:24 > 1:21:27Writer JT LeRoy has been a literary "It boy" for the last decade
1:21:27 > 1:21:32but it turns out he may not be a he and may not even exist.
1:21:32 > 1:21:35Here with more on this bizarre story is Stephen Beachy.
1:21:35 > 1:21:39He recently wrote Who is the Real JT LeRoy? For New York magazine.
1:21:39 > 1:21:41- Stephen Beachy, welcome to the show. - Thanks, Madeleine.
1:21:41 > 1:21:44You did your own detective work and what did you find?
1:21:44 > 1:21:47This all began this spring when I heard a story of
1:21:47 > 1:21:50a woman named Laura Albert and a man named Geoff Knoop,
1:21:50 > 1:21:55that they were in fact behind the whole JT LeRoy hoax.
1:22:32 > 1:22:35After the article came out, JT goes into full-on offence mode.
1:22:37 > 1:22:41He's calling all the people that are intimate in the JT circle and
1:22:41 > 1:22:44saying, "This is fucking bullshit.
1:22:44 > 1:22:48"This is a take-down. This is just vendetta."
1:22:48 > 1:22:51JT is going to do whatever it takes to stay alive.
1:22:51 > 1:22:53For him, it's like Tinkerbell.
1:22:53 > 1:22:56If you don't believe, the magic can't fucking happen.
1:23:34 > 1:23:37One day I'm sitting at my desk writing
1:23:37 > 1:23:41and suddenly Geoff bursts in, white as a ghost, and he tells me,
1:23:41 > 1:23:45"I just got a call from Warren St John from the New York Times
1:23:45 > 1:23:47"and he says he knows everything."
1:23:47 > 1:23:49And I say, "What did you tell him?"
1:23:57 > 1:24:01Friends and family are starting to get calls from the New York Times.
1:24:27 > 1:24:30San Francisco was way too fucking hot.
1:24:30 > 1:24:37So I went back down to Denver. I'm panicking because I see the cliff.
1:24:38 > 1:24:41I see the ground breaking beneath me.
1:26:14 > 1:26:18I'm standing on the set with Billy and my cellphone rings.
1:26:19 > 1:26:21And it's Warren St John.
1:26:21 > 1:26:25He says to me, "I'm going to get you for violating the Patriot Act
1:26:25 > 1:26:28"and I've definitely got you on mail fraud."
1:26:30 > 1:26:32And, as JT, I'm begging him...
1:26:36 > 1:26:40And I know that the story is about to be broken.
1:26:40 > 1:26:43There is a huge tornado that's about to hit.
1:27:54 > 1:27:57Cellphones are said to be part of a ruse perpetrated by JT LeRoy,
1:27:57 > 1:28:02a San Francisco-based cult novelist who's not only accused of making up
1:28:02 > 1:28:06the sad and sordid past he writes about but being a fully made-up person himself.
1:28:06 > 1:28:09Just this week the New York Times published evidence that the person
1:28:09 > 1:28:13who writes as JT, a 25-year-old former male hooker and drug addict,
1:28:13 > 1:28:16is actually a 40-year-old mother from Brooklyn, and that the person
1:28:16 > 1:28:19who makes public appearances as JT is that woman's sister-in-law in
1:28:19 > 1:28:21a wig and sunglasses.
1:28:22 > 1:28:26What the article had was a piece of the jigsaw puzzle that nobody
1:28:26 > 1:28:27had found before.
1:28:28 > 1:28:35A photo of Savannah with no wig, no hat, no sunglasses.
1:28:35 > 1:28:38It's all her and it's the smoking gun.
1:28:41 > 1:28:49I feel such a sense of shame because JT really asked people to go
1:28:49 > 1:28:55to bat for him and say that of course he's real, and now, pow!
1:28:59 > 1:29:04They look stupid. They look silly.
1:29:04 > 1:29:06They look like they've been punked.
1:29:06 > 1:29:11And the media is telling them that they are an idiot.
1:29:13 > 1:29:16How do I even begin...?
1:30:14 > 1:30:18I had reporters ringing my bell.
1:30:18 > 1:30:21Savannah came over and we were huddled in the house and we
1:30:21 > 1:30:24were trying to figure out how to get her home.
1:30:39 > 1:30:44I went to David Melch and all I can think is I need him to rescue me.
1:31:16 > 1:31:22Because JT spent many hours over many years being his friend,
1:31:22 > 1:31:23I called Gus.
1:32:24 > 1:32:27At the time of the reveal I was accused of using Aids to sell books.
1:32:58 > 1:33:02When Courtney Love finds out that I'm JT, she says, "That's fantastic!
1:33:02 > 1:33:06"I will take you on Oprah Winfrey and you'll cry.
1:33:06 > 1:33:07"America loves redemption."
1:33:29 > 1:33:31I spoke to Billy and he said to me,
1:33:31 > 1:33:34"You can't stand up in a tsunami."
1:34:03 > 1:34:06Savannah and I were determined not to break rank.
1:34:06 > 1:34:10We just weren't going to the media. We were shutting the fuck up.
1:34:10 > 1:34:13Even with the photos of her out there,
1:34:13 > 1:34:16they still couldn't absolutely prove it.
1:34:16 > 1:34:22But Geoff, Savannah's brother, my partner of almost 18 years,
1:34:22 > 1:34:23he breaks rank.
1:34:47 > 1:34:50Geoff went to the New York Times.
1:34:50 > 1:34:56He held up the surrender flag and he told them that, yeah, it was me.
1:34:56 > 1:35:01I wrote the books. And he puts the final nail in JT LeRoy's coffin.
1:35:29 > 1:35:31All the headlines are saying...
1:35:38 > 1:35:42But the thing about that language, of what it's saying,
1:35:42 > 1:35:44is that the books aren't real.
1:35:44 > 1:35:47That all that work...
1:35:51 > 1:35:53..is a joke.
1:35:55 > 1:35:58- INTERVIEWER:- What made people actually believe that you were the writer?
1:36:04 > 1:36:08I think people believed I was the writer because I said I was
1:36:08 > 1:36:10the writer.
1:36:10 > 1:36:13I mean... That's what it boils down to.
1:36:13 > 1:36:19The belief is based on this kind of contract around what you say
1:36:19 > 1:36:24you do and then you assume that's what you do.
1:36:42 > 1:36:48Asia called me. And it's her first time talking to me.
1:37:29 > 1:37:34What's being thrown out there is multiple personality disorder,
1:37:34 > 1:37:35but that ain't it.
1:37:35 > 1:37:37I am pulling the switch.
1:37:37 > 1:37:41I am making the decision to go to a different rail.
1:37:41 > 1:37:43I don't know what the label is.
1:37:43 > 1:37:46I don't know what the classification is.
1:37:46 > 1:37:50But I can tell you one thing, I know it is not a hoax.
1:39:30 > 1:39:34If you bought a book, if you feel upset because I was 15 years
1:39:34 > 1:39:41older than JT or that I'm a woman and not a boy, I'm OK with that.
1:39:41 > 1:39:48The books says clearly on the jacket - fiction. The rest is extra.
1:39:53 > 1:39:58My dad grew up in Bushwick really poor and he had
1:39:58 > 1:40:01a very close friend that would babysit.
1:40:01 > 1:40:05He was Uncle George to me. I knew him from when I was a baby.
1:40:05 > 1:40:09He was just always there and he was family.
1:40:16 > 1:40:19My parents didn't really go out a lot,
1:40:19 > 1:40:21so for them to go out at night was a big deal.
1:40:22 > 1:40:28But when I was three my mom arranged for theatre tickets and they left
1:40:28 > 1:40:29me with George.
1:40:32 > 1:40:34And we played a game.
1:40:34 > 1:40:39It was a very complex psychological game of being
1:40:39 > 1:40:45a good girl versus being a bad girl and he starts to touch
1:40:45 > 1:40:53me and my body responds to that, but that is proof that I'm a bad girl.
1:40:58 > 1:41:02He had a solution, and that was to spank me.
1:41:03 > 1:41:06But he also touched me at the same time.
1:41:07 > 1:41:09That's where everything just...
1:41:09 > 1:41:13My wires crossed.
1:41:13 > 1:41:21Because then pain and sexual excitement became intertwined.
1:41:22 > 1:41:26And I'm not innocent in this. My body responded.
1:41:26 > 1:41:32It really excited me and it was horrible and something was very,
1:41:32 > 1:41:34very broken in me.
1:41:36 > 1:41:42I went to food for relief because he definitely preferred me thin.
1:41:44 > 1:41:48At some point, George just disappeared but the damage was done.
1:41:50 > 1:41:55A child is a delicately spinning top and it doesn't take much to
1:41:55 > 1:41:58send the top off its course.