0:00:04 > 0:00:06This film contains strong language
0:00:06 > 0:00:09CONTINUOUS BEEPING
0:00:16 > 0:00:17He can probably still hear us.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Can you hear me, Dad?
0:00:41 > 0:00:42Can you hear?
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Me and Miranda are here, Dad.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19'My name is Morgan Matthews.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20'I'm a film-maker.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24'This is me in 2005, driving to see my dad,
0:01:24 > 0:01:26'who I hadn't seen in over a year.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29'Dad wasn't very good at keeping in touch,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32'and perhaps like many fathers and sons,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34'we didn't always communicate very well.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42'I decided to go and meet him with my camera,
0:01:42 > 0:01:43'in the hope of reconnecting.'
0:01:45 > 0:01:47How are you doing? Not bad.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48The old car made it?
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Uh-huh. It's done well.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Better come in for a beer, I think.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Probably need one. How are you doing?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00All right. It's great to see you. I've missed you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02'I didn't know it at the time,
0:02:02 > 0:02:05'but filming with Dad would become a way of maintaining a relationship
0:02:05 > 0:02:09'between us, and I would spend the next ten years recording through the
0:02:09 > 0:02:13'trials and tribulations of his life and death.'
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Come and get yourself a beer.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Following you around with a camera.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Do you mind? Not at all.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36A bit odd, isn't it? No, it's all right.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38That's a pigeon.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42One of the doves that was attacked by a sparrowhawk.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44He can't fly.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Anyway, he's perfectly happy in there and he's very fond of his dad.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54You're the big pigeon, aren't you, eh?
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Go on, stretch your wings.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58There you go. Oh, he's talking. PIGEON COOS
0:03:00 > 0:03:03'Whilst Dad seemed to be caring for increasing numbers of animals,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06'he had become distant from all six of his children.'
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Right, my big dog, what are you doing?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12What are you doing, big dog?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14There's a lot of stuff, isn't there?
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Yeah, it will be a nightmare, won't it, packing it and moving it?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19You want to see the attic.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I haven't started on that yet.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28So, I've done all the books and everything, and...
0:03:28 > 0:03:31put the computer back in here where it should be.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36But...you know, I've been working quite hard, really,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39trying to get the place together.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43So you can sell it? Oh, yeah, purely to sell it.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48'In the previous years,
0:03:48 > 0:03:52'Dad had got into severe financial trouble and had recently lost his
0:03:52 > 0:03:54'part-time job at the local university.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00'He was now being forced to sell the house that belonged to his partner,
0:04:00 > 0:04:02'my stepmother, Anna.'
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Should really clean the floor,
0:04:07 > 0:04:11but that's about as good as it gets in the time we've got.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15It's a bit of a panic, isn't it?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Well, we've... This is, I think the eighth or ninth visit
0:04:19 > 0:04:22and, of course, you have to go round and...
0:04:22 > 0:04:26clean the place up as best you can for every visit.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27DOORBELL RINGS
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Come in, please.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37And welcome. So, downstairs cloakroom.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Yes. A pretty good-sized cupboard under there with a lamp in it.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44This is where it all goes pear-shaped,
0:04:44 > 0:04:49because the window cleaners were in a week ago. Uh-huh.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Cleaned the windows on the flat roof
0:04:52 > 0:04:55and you know the first rain we had yesterday? Yeah.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59They've trod on it. We've got a leak, so...
0:04:59 > 0:05:02If you are... There's no point in disguising it.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05You know, it's a bloody leak.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07We'll go to the disaster area first.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12Right. The estate agent said, "In need of some attention,"
0:05:12 > 0:05:15so this is where it's in need of some attention.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18This is a beautiful room.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19It's a sad story.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Anna's stepson had a problem...
0:05:23 > 0:05:26a couple of years back and actually threatened to kill Anna,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29but in the process of having his problem,
0:05:29 > 0:05:32he smashed this door. Oh, right.
0:05:32 > 0:05:39And he also, with a hammer, smashed the washbasin and the bath.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44Look where you walk, because we have three dogs and...
0:05:44 > 0:05:47I need not say any more.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50There's no broadband here as yet.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53How do you think that went?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55As well as can be expected.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01I don't know if it's the best idea to draw attention to...
0:06:01 > 0:06:03the bad things like
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Philip smashing up the room and things like that.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Well, it's there and you can see it,
0:06:08 > 0:06:12so I mean it probably needs an explanation.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19ALL SHOUT
0:06:23 > 0:06:27After inheriting her family home without a mortgage,
0:06:27 > 0:06:30my stepmother, Anna, had never had a conventional job.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Now she faced losing everything.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42The cards seem to have quite an uncanny relevance
0:06:42 > 0:06:46to our circumstances as they have been and are at present.
0:06:48 > 0:06:54And that card very much represents anger, and quite a lot of it.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00It says that something has caused me enormous emotional...
0:07:00 > 0:07:05A deep emotional torment and upset and depression, if you like.
0:07:05 > 0:07:11And loss, a sense of loss and, I feel, a serious amount of anger.
0:07:11 > 0:07:16And I feel as if my world is in suspension.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17There's a crisis coming.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27And then some beer.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35In terms of what you've got coming in, Dad, moneywise,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37how are you getting by?
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Now that the...
0:07:40 > 0:07:44university job sort of ended a bit suddenly,
0:07:44 > 0:07:45there is nothing coming in.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48There is no income at all.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53The mortgage should go out at about 3,000.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56There are various standing orders which I think...
0:07:56 > 0:08:00amount to just about 1,000 a month.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04And there's sort of a day-to-day living and eating
0:08:04 > 0:08:05and feeding the animals,
0:08:05 > 0:08:10which is, at a minimum, probably 1,000 a month.
0:08:10 > 0:08:17So, I've got to clear ?5,000 every month to stay in and live in the
0:08:17 > 0:08:18house we're living in.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22I know we're a bit stupid.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27We probably spend at least as much money feeding the dogs and cats
0:08:27 > 0:08:29as we do on feeding ourselves.
0:08:32 > 0:08:33Spot of choccy?
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I offered her some Cadbury's or something like that once.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42She sniffed it very delicately and said...
0:08:42 > 0:08:45"You don't expect me to eat that?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48"It's cheap and nasty."
0:08:48 > 0:08:51So, we get Tesco's Finest
0:08:51 > 0:08:53with little bits of orange flavouring in it.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55And I mustn't give them too much more,
0:08:55 > 0:08:57otherwise he'll vomit or something.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58They've got expensive tastes, the dogs?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01They have expensive tastes, the dogs.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08We're going bunny fucking.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09What does that mean?
0:09:09 > 0:09:11It means chasing bunnies and trying to fuck them.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14As in, polish them off.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17But we don't often get that lucky, but we sometimes do.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22You've always lived round here, Anna?
0:09:22 > 0:09:27Yes. And I've always had connections and roots here.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31I discovered that the direct line goes back to an entry,
0:09:31 > 0:09:36I think, in 1535 in Parish Records.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Gilliamus and Benjaminus Kelsey.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44I think we grew barley and went into brewing,
0:09:44 > 0:09:49and gradually, sort of, moved over to Birmingham and...
0:09:49 > 0:09:52had the brewery there, and it sort of slowly grew.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57It's somewhere I wouldn't want to say goodbye to, really.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I know it sounds stupid,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03but I should like to be buried here somewhere.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09I should like to become a part of something...
0:10:09 > 0:10:10that I...
0:10:12 > 0:10:14..am already a part of.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Stupid.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Oh, dear. Anyway...
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Collecting dust for a while.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Whilst Anna's family had owned a brewery,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Dad had been adopted into a family of farm labourers
0:10:29 > 0:10:31who picked hops for a living.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34But he was a bright boy and won a place at grammar school,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38then went on to study car design at the Royal College of Art.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49That's about 1972.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51It was called the Talbot Alpine.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59After leaving the Royal College,
0:10:59 > 0:11:02Dad embarked on a career as a hotshot young car designer.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07He came up with the concept for the first people carrier,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09the Renault Espace.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12My original drawings for the Espace.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16And then landed the top design job at Citroen in France.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22I actually inherited a department of
0:11:22 > 0:11:2664 Frenchmen, that was my department,
0:11:26 > 0:11:30and every single one of them was older than I was.
0:11:30 > 0:11:37And I wasn't the most popular person in the world...for them.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40You know, some...
0:11:40 > 0:11:43young, long-haired Englishmen telling them what to do.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It didn't go down very well at all, I'm afraid.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53After parting company with Citroen,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Dad set up his own vehicle design business.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00When we were running Geoff Matthews Design,
0:12:00 > 0:12:04we made a very good living building cars for Bentley,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06for the Sultan of Brunei.
0:12:06 > 0:12:12The best year, I think we turned over ?3.4 million.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18We went down from, like, 3.4 million a year turnover
0:12:18 > 0:12:23to something like less than a million a year,
0:12:23 > 0:12:29just at the point that we'd invested in...
0:12:29 > 0:12:3210,000 square feet of commercial property.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38The biggest tragedy, of course, is that when Anna met me,
0:12:38 > 0:12:40there was no mortgage on the house.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48And she allowed it to be successively remortgaged
0:12:48 > 0:12:52to try and keep the company alive but, of course, as you know,
0:12:52 > 0:12:54the money was poured into the company
0:12:54 > 0:12:57and effectively down the drain.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Eventually, Dad lost his business and was left with the responsibility
0:13:03 > 0:13:06of a huge mortgage on Anna's house that he couldn't pay.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10It's the end of the road, really.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14I could be stacking shelves at Sainsbury's, you know?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16I mean, that's the truth.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18That's the way it's going to go, I think.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26That's a bit big, isn't it?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It falls out between your teeth if it's too big.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34Times have been very difficult recently, haven't they, financially?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36Oh, yes, frightful.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39What's it been like? Hm? What's it been like?
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Grizzly.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50I suppose it's the worrying and stuff, but...
0:13:50 > 0:13:54I mean, as long as I've got a fag and a spot of vodka...
0:13:54 > 0:13:56I can survive.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58You know, I can live in my head.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04But how do you feel about the prospect of losing the house?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Well, it's not a prospect, it's a certainty.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11I don't want to say anything cruel about your father,
0:14:11 > 0:14:15apart from the odd comment that he can't hold his drink,
0:14:15 > 0:14:16because I...
0:14:19 > 0:14:21I'm genuinely very deeply fond of him.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24He's basically a good man.
0:14:28 > 0:14:33I had one of the best careers in the motor industry.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36I was the high-flyer,
0:14:36 > 0:14:42I was in the top two people at the age of 35,
0:14:42 > 0:14:47and all I needed to do, I had to butter up to people.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53Butter up to people who were, on paper, my bosses,
0:14:53 > 0:14:59who were intellectually shallow, stupid and ignorant.
0:14:59 > 0:15:05But if I could only have said, "Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir,"
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I could have retired
0:15:07 > 0:15:12four years ago at the age of 55
0:15:12 > 0:15:15on two thirds of a golden salary.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19And I can't do that.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I couldn't do it.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24You know, where would I get my self-respect
0:15:24 > 0:15:27and my self-esteem from?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Which is probably the only thing that carries me through
0:15:31 > 0:15:34my effective bankruptcy.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46I thought there were two bottles of vodka that Geoff...
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Well, you very kindly appear to have got.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Am I right or wrong? Were there two bottles like that?
0:15:52 > 0:15:53There were.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54One...
0:15:57 > 0:15:58..was started last night and...
0:16:00 > 0:16:02..the other one seems to have disappeared.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05It doesn't really matter, but I just wondered what had happened to it,
0:16:05 > 0:16:09because nobody seems to be sort of...
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Unless your dad took it upstairs with him, which is always possible,
0:16:11 > 0:16:15I suppose. I think if you go upstairs, you'll find it.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17That's probably... Probably what has happened to it.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Yes, yes, you're right.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23I think I can actually tell because of the way he's moving about.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh, dear, Morgan.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Dear Morgan.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35I wish we'd have been closer.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I love you.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Don't be upset.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43You're the best boy.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Oh, dear.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53I wish I could have talked to you...
0:16:53 > 0:16:54in many ways.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56You could have given me a call.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Well, I try and... HE MUMBLES
0:16:59 > 0:17:01But...
0:17:03 > 0:17:05..love you.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08I think you're amazing.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12And I don't need to do anything.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16You know, you've done everything you've...
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Well...I did have...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20You know, you helped me out.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22No, I haven't. You helped me out when I was a student.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24You did. No, I didn't.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27Are you all right, Dad?
0:17:29 > 0:17:33No, I'm not all right.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34I know, but...
0:17:34 > 0:17:38You know, this is fucking painful.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44I do hope he hasn't drunk it all.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Oh, please, God, don't let him have drunk at all.
0:17:47 > 0:17:48Dear Christ.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Does it bother you, though, now?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54What, him getting arse-holed? Yeah.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56It depends what he says when he is.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Yes, it does bother me because A,
0:17:59 > 0:18:02I think it's incredibly bad for him because it frightens me the amount
0:18:02 > 0:18:04that he drinks, and he gets offensive.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Not a little bit offensive, or ever so slightly, kind of...
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I mean offensive. Big time.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Awful, really.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I mean, your dad, fortunately, doesn't...
0:18:19 > 0:18:23do that quite so often now, thank Christ.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26He does do it sometimes, which is... Do what?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30You've seen him do it.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You know what I'm talking about.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35A few drinks...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37and then he throws a funny.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43Dad would drink every night and his behaviour when he was drunk
0:18:43 > 0:18:45was one of the main reasons
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I'd stopped having so much contact with him.
0:18:48 > 0:18:53He came very close to me ending it several times and I'd be talking to
0:18:53 > 0:18:56somebody and we'd have friends round or something,
0:18:56 > 0:19:01and then he'd start another drink, and then he'd suddenly turn on his
0:19:01 > 0:19:05heel, he'd come up to me and he says, "You fucking bitch!
0:19:05 > 0:19:07"You stupid piece of shit!"
0:19:08 > 0:19:10It was all madness.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Bearing in mind the number of viewings we've had,
0:19:25 > 0:19:27the number of times we've advertised,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I'm slightly disappointed by the number of people
0:19:29 > 0:19:31who've actually been to look.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Having had an offer at 620... Yes.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37..against a guide price of 695... Yes.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41..it may be that we can go back and split the difference
0:19:41 > 0:19:44between her initial offer and the guide price
0:19:44 > 0:19:47and our initial expectations.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49What we get out of this place
0:19:49 > 0:19:53is what we're left with to buy something else
0:19:53 > 0:19:58and you're fully aware that with the size of mortgage we've got,
0:19:58 > 0:20:00that, say we get 200,000,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03you know you can't get much for 200,000,
0:20:03 > 0:20:06but we still have to consider our future as,
0:20:06 > 0:20:08you know, in terms of the money...
0:20:08 > 0:20:11At the end of the day, you've got one chance to sell it. Yes.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13And so you've got to make sure that you sell it
0:20:13 > 0:20:15for the very best possible price. Yes.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17I'm afraid what you need...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Yes. ..doesn't actually enter into...
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Her equation. ..her equation.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23No, no, I quite understand.
0:20:26 > 0:20:27Oh, wow!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43So, what's that saying? Saying yes.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47It's what it is. What is it?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49What it is, it says it is.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51See, look, it's saying, "That's what it is," it says.
0:20:51 > 0:20:57What is it? Well, it's a little mushroom and as a little mushroom...
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Have you ever eaten these, Anna?
0:20:58 > 0:21:02Well, occasionally.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05But not often.
0:21:05 > 0:21:06Are they hallucinogenic?
0:21:07 > 0:21:11I don't know. Otherwise known as magic mushrooms.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13You can call them...
0:21:13 > 0:21:15You can't get much magic out of anything these days.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Oh, fuck, I've run out of drink.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22I'm just trying to...
0:21:22 > 0:21:25It's nice to see you two in the same room together.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27It's, you know... We often are.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah, we are, believe it or not.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32But we do try and avoid each other mostly.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37So, there you have it from the arse's mouth, as it were.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40GEOFF LAUGHS THEN COUGHS
0:21:40 > 0:21:44That's the main reason for this circular architecture, because you
0:21:44 > 0:21:49can actually be in one room and someone says, "Where are you?"
0:21:49 > 0:21:52And you say, "Here," and you keep hopping round this circle.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Well, I mean, the "Here," as far as I'm concerned,
0:21:54 > 0:21:56you might just as well not bother to answer.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59You can avoid each other for years, you know?
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Is that true? Is that really what you think?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04No. We're not like that.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07I only avoid him when he's drunk. And that's true.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Sometimes you seem...
0:22:14 > 0:22:16..you know, quite separate sometimes.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18We are, in many ways.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22But that's... It's probably my fault.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26I tend to... When I'm depressed or miserable or whatever,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I tend to go into myself, I tend to...
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I don't communicate with people,
0:22:32 > 0:22:37because I work on the theory that what's the point of, you know,
0:22:37 > 0:22:39burdening other people with your miseries?
0:22:39 > 0:22:43There's nothing they can do about it and you don't really want to hear
0:22:43 > 0:22:47their solutions, because they don't actually mean anything and they are,
0:22:47 > 0:22:50you know, just...
0:22:50 > 0:22:53somebody making a noise just to make you feel better, which it doesn't.
0:22:53 > 0:22:58So I tend to keep it to myself.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05They've got so big, these, that they've actually split,
0:23:05 > 0:23:08some of them have split their skins.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I suppose landing on the floor with a large splat doesn't help.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20I'd always been fascinated by Anna and first filmed with her when I was
0:23:20 > 0:23:25a student in the mid-90s, shortly after she got together with Dad.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27They met in the local pub
0:23:27 > 0:23:30and lived quite extravagantly when things were good.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33I'd never met anyone like Anna before
0:23:33 > 0:23:35and was intrigued by her complex family background.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40They say families can be full of surprises
0:23:40 > 0:23:42and I suppose mine's no exception.
0:23:43 > 0:23:48In the sense that the man I understood from childhood
0:23:48 > 0:23:51who was my father
0:23:51 > 0:23:53turns out that he was my grandfather.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58The person...
0:23:58 > 0:24:03I was led to believe was my biological mother was in fact
0:24:03 > 0:24:08no blood relation whatsoever, and I refer to her as Violet Emma.
0:24:08 > 0:24:13This is the woman who is meant to be my mother,
0:24:13 > 0:24:15the woman I was told was my mother.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19She's holding a baby, which I...
0:24:19 > 0:24:20I'm pretty sure it's me.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25And I hold this over her...
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and it's saying no.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36For many months after her death, you know, she haunted the place.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37I'm not joking.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46I decided to exorcise it.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I've never done an exorcism before.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51And I'll tell you what, it's very strange.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54It worked. It never came back.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57It wasn't a good relationship then?
0:24:57 > 0:24:58No, it wasn't a good relationship.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I mean, she never liked me from... Well, she never liked me.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05In fact, she hated me.
0:25:06 > 0:25:12Fortunately, I had a nanny and all that type of thing, so I wasn't
0:25:12 > 0:25:14much or often at her mercy.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17But there were times when there was days off and things like that.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20So she would...
0:25:20 > 0:25:22attack me on those occasions.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30Hair pulling, biting. Stuff like that.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33And name-calling.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39Anyway, now I want to clean my teeth and I prefer to do that in private.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51I suppose on paper, you know, your family were relatively wealthy.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52I suppose.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56I mean, they weren't, you know, the Guinnesses, but they were OK.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00Whereas Dad's family were farm labourers, weren't they?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01Yeah, but your dad's family weren't.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05They were his adoptive parents and that's where it gets interesting.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11Whilst Dad and Anna had come from very different backgrounds,
0:26:11 > 0:26:13they had in common the fact that neither of them
0:26:13 > 0:26:15knew who their parents were.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20He was like...
0:26:20 > 0:26:22the signet in the duck's nest.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28He was incredibly bright and when he went to school,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31they thought, "He's only a piss-poor labourer's son."
0:26:31 > 0:26:34And that is not diminishing Geoff's adopted father,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36who was absolutely sterling.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Your father was something and he is something.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43He's very, very bright.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46And it was as if he knew he was something else.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53DOG SNORES
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Hm? Can you just give the dog a nudge?
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Just leave the fucking dog snoring.
0:27:03 > 0:27:09It's a dog, the only thing he does is fucking snore.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Leave him snoring.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16You know, don't wind him out, he's part of the family.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18All right. Whatever it is.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Whatever the family is.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22What is the family?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25The family is...
0:27:27 > 0:27:28..I think...
0:27:34 > 0:27:37The people who like me
0:27:37 > 0:27:39are my family.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Of Dad's six children,
0:27:43 > 0:27:46my sister and I were from his first marriage to our mother,
0:27:46 > 0:27:49whilst our three half-brothers and half-sister
0:27:49 > 0:27:53came from a second marriage, before he met Anna.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Over the years, he'd become estranged from us all.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01Morgan, Miranda.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Maximilian, Mark Andrew,
0:28:06 > 0:28:10Mitchell and Michelle.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12And they think...
0:28:14 > 0:28:17..the old man's a...
0:28:17 > 0:28:21You know, may be a piece of shit...
0:28:21 > 0:28:24but I love those kids.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26It was Mitchell's birthday yesterday.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28He was 16.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32Yeah, I made a terrible mistake, I forgot about it.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36I haven't got it in my head.
0:28:38 > 0:28:44I tried to maintain a contact with the children,
0:28:44 > 0:28:49but the phone number never changed, my mobile number never changed.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52And did any of them bother?
0:28:52 > 0:28:54No, they didn't.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55And that hurts.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57That will hurt forever.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00That's the other side of the story.
0:29:04 > 0:29:09# All masonic hearts to meet you
0:29:09 > 0:29:15# Hands of fellowship to greet you
0:29:15 > 0:29:20# May our welcome here today
0:29:20 > 0:29:26# Help to cheer you on your way. #
0:29:26 > 0:29:29The ladies.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31The ladies. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Hooray! The ladies.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39..All that type of thing. Ladies, gentlemen, brethren....
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Oh, yes, my list. BANGING
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Ladies, gentlemen and brethren, to respond to the toast to the ladies,
0:29:48 > 0:29:52Mrs Anna Matthews would be delighted to reply.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55But you've just said... APPLAUSE
0:29:55 > 0:29:58You've just said all the people that you told me to say.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02Well, it says, "Worshipful master, brother wardens, ladies, gentlemen,
0:30:02 > 0:30:07"brethren." I think that's sort of gentlemen comma brethren.
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Anyway, all I really want to say is how really delighted we are,
0:30:11 > 0:30:14especially Geoff, that...
0:30:14 > 0:30:15I knew I'd make a cock up of it.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20But anyway, really delighted we are to see you all here.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23You've probably heard more than enough,
0:30:23 > 0:30:25so I'll sit down and let you get on with it.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28Have I done the right thing? APPLAUSE
0:30:28 > 0:30:31I thank Anna for being so brief.
0:30:31 > 0:30:35It allows me to tell one or two stories.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38Which she's not expecting.
0:30:38 > 0:30:43So we went to buy a Hoover together and we went into Comet, and we had a
0:30:43 > 0:30:47very young salesman in a suit.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51And Anna said she didn't want one with all the frills and bits on it,
0:30:51 > 0:30:55she just wanted a very strong hoover.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57And the gentleman said,
0:30:57 > 0:31:01"Well, how do you define a strong hoover, madam?"
0:31:01 > 0:31:04And she said, "Well, I think it's one that will suck up
0:31:04 > 0:31:05"a semi-dried dog's turd
0:31:05 > 0:31:07"without it sticking to the pipe."
0:31:07 > 0:31:09LAUGHTER
0:31:17 > 0:31:18What do you think about Dad?
0:31:18 > 0:31:23He's irritating, he drinks too much and he's unreasonable.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26He's a bit mad and he gets over-sentimental
0:31:26 > 0:31:30and says the wrong things or too much of the right things,
0:31:30 > 0:31:32which will turn them into an embarrassment.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34He does that sort of thing.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36But he's brave, he's true,
0:31:36 > 0:31:41he's better than pretty much anybody I know alive at the moment.
0:31:41 > 0:31:42And he's fucking brilliant.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44That's what I think about your father.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46And I love him...for all that.
0:31:53 > 0:31:59I think you once filmed me on the floor of the bathroom,
0:31:59 > 0:32:06absolutely in tears, trying to explain that Anna
0:32:06 > 0:32:10had given me all she'd got
0:32:10 > 0:32:15and that included her inheritance of her house.
0:32:16 > 0:32:22And I think even through my tears, whatever you thought of them,
0:32:22 > 0:32:26I said, "I will endeavour...
0:32:26 > 0:32:32"to pay it back and give her something very special."
0:32:32 > 0:32:37I've found a solution to give something back.
0:32:37 > 0:32:42And that is the most important thing in the world to me.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55Dad had finally managed to sell the house
0:32:55 > 0:32:57just before it was repossessed.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05He'd also got some work with a motley crew of guys
0:33:05 > 0:33:07who were trying to hand-build a prototype
0:33:07 > 0:33:08for a new British sports car.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15The company had won a grant to relocate to Wales.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19So it was time for a fresh start.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31The plan is that we leave one bedroom alone.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35OK. And I've got a very wild cat
0:33:35 > 0:33:38and I'm keeping the door shut because of the cat.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41It won't hurt you, but if it sees you, it will run away and then I'll
0:33:41 > 0:33:45never catch it. So there's an end bedroom
0:33:45 > 0:33:47and I've got two guns in there,
0:33:47 > 0:33:49so leave that alone, I'll sort that.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I'll unscrew it and sort it.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Some of this is pretty valuable.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57That's off a World War I German aeroplane.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Really? That Anna's grandfather shot down.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04That's the actual bit of the aeroplane. Yeah? Yeah.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24This always feels a bit strange, doesn't it?
0:34:24 > 0:34:26In what way? Well, you know...
0:34:28 > 0:34:30..picking up and starting again.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32But it's a nice start.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35It's something that's good and something to look forward to.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42Good luck. Thanks a lot.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Cheerio.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46'With only a small deposit left after selling the house
0:34:46 > 0:34:49'for much less than he'd hoped for,
0:34:49 > 0:34:53'Dad had somehow managed to get a very large mortgage
0:34:53 > 0:34:54'on a farmhouse in South Wales.'
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Wow.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07So, what do you reckon?
0:35:07 > 0:35:11It's not a huge house but it's really quite pretty.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16But isn't it brilliant?
0:35:16 > 0:35:18There's even a lavvy there.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22Despite losing her family home, Anna seemed upbeat about the move.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25I'm not sure what that is.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29This spot is just beautiful.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30I love it.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33And the isolation of it, Anna...?
0:35:33 > 0:35:34That's what I like.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38Why is it that? Why is it that you like that?
0:35:38 > 0:35:41I just don't like other people much.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Neighbours, and, "Oh, you got a new car..."
0:35:44 > 0:35:46I don't mind, I'll talk to people,
0:35:46 > 0:35:49but I'm just not that interested in having them on my doorstep.
0:35:51 > 0:35:52And this is wonderful.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56Oh, look at her. She is happy.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Yeah, that's the sign of Ezzie being happy.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Ezzie is jolly happy.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Morgan, look. Ezzie is happy. Ezzie being happy.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06HE LAUGHS
0:36:06 > 0:36:07Well, we're here. We made it.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Yeah, it was difficult, wasn't it?
0:36:09 > 0:36:12But we're here. It's not going to be easy now we are here,
0:36:12 > 0:36:13by the look of it.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14LAUGHTER
0:36:14 > 0:36:18We're going to have to do some serious wall bashing, I think.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Never mind. We can do it, can't we?
0:36:20 > 0:36:22You are happy? Oh, I'm really happy.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41Once he moved to Wales, Dad and I have become distant again.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43He only seemed to call when he needed money.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45HORN TOOTS
0:36:45 > 0:36:48And since the car company he worked for had gone bust,
0:36:48 > 0:36:50he was in financial trouble again.
0:36:52 > 0:36:53Hi, big fella. How you doing, Dad?
0:36:53 > 0:36:56All right. Good as can be expected.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Good to see you.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06So how have things been? Well, it's tough, I can tell you.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12I mean, it's a year now since I've been out of work.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15And I've dragged us through this far
0:37:15 > 0:37:18but it's getting tougher and tougher,
0:37:18 > 0:37:20I can tell you, financially.
0:37:22 > 0:37:23So there is...
0:37:25 > 0:37:29If I can't find a solution, there is a serious risk
0:37:29 > 0:37:31that we get another house repossessed.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34That's how tough it is, really.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38Do you think you might lose the house?
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Yeah, but don't tell Anna yet.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43We're back.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47I don't appear to have anything stuck to me.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Are you picking up my...
0:37:49 > 0:37:51deathless prose?
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Just about. On the top mic, yeah.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Oh, yes, I missed that furry thing.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59Your hair is a lot longer, Anna, since I last saw you.
0:37:59 > 0:38:00Yes, it grows.
0:38:00 > 0:38:06Once I started having that, what do you call it, replacement thingy.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Thyroid stuff, it took off.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12And it keeps growing.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18It was probably, considering her health,
0:38:18 > 0:38:21it was probably a pretty bad choice,
0:38:21 > 0:38:24in that we're up the top of a very steep hill,
0:38:24 > 0:38:27which neither of us can walk up any more.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30But we've had
0:38:30 > 0:38:34three and a half years here being very happy together.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38Apart from health miseries and money miseries,
0:38:38 > 0:38:43but the actual place is charming, absolutely charming.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49After years of smoking a pipe,
0:38:49 > 0:38:54Dad had developed emphysema and was finding any physical work difficult.
0:38:54 > 0:38:58Most of Anna's possessions from the old house remained unpacked.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Yeah, so you can see...
0:39:03 > 0:39:05You know, the sort of...
0:39:05 > 0:39:07They are all packed up,
0:39:07 > 0:39:10they are all there but you can see that they've been there
0:39:10 > 0:39:15for three and a half years. And they are sinking into each other.
0:39:15 > 0:39:20If this chest does get worse, I'm not leaving Anna with an absolute
0:39:20 > 0:39:25nightmare of stuff that she can't manage and can't unpack.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27So that's the theory.
0:39:27 > 0:39:31But you're starting to worry about what might happen
0:39:31 > 0:39:34with you if you are not around?
0:39:34 > 0:39:37Yeah. Because it's...
0:39:37 > 0:39:42you know, Anna's strong and has got a strong character,
0:39:42 > 0:39:44but just to leave her with...
0:39:46 > 0:39:48..what could turn out to be a huge
0:39:48 > 0:39:50pile of shit, the longer you leave it there,
0:39:50 > 0:39:53you know, I don't feel good about that.
0:39:53 > 0:39:56So what can I do or where can I start, then?
0:39:56 > 0:39:59Oh, yeah, I can give you lots of jobs.
0:39:59 > 0:40:04One thing really is to sort out if there's stuff that you can sell off
0:40:04 > 0:40:06to make a little bit of money to
0:40:06 > 0:40:09help pay the mortgage, really.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12HE WHEEZES
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Oh, there's an alpaca.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Why did you get alpacas, Dad?
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Anna always wanted a couple.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23Oh, they're coming to see us.
0:40:23 > 0:40:24Look.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26They're from Peru, I think, originally.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30Why did Anna want a couple?
0:40:30 > 0:40:34I don't know. She just fancied... She likes the look of them.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35Come on then, big fella.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40But do they do anything, Dad?
0:40:40 > 0:40:42No, they're decorative.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48HE WHEEZES
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Is it difficult, Dad, walking...
0:40:52 > 0:40:53..any kind of distance now?
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Oh, yeah. Yeah.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00When I'm not carrying anything,
0:41:00 > 0:41:04and providing I go slowly, I can walk.
0:41:05 > 0:41:10But I mean, I shall probably have to stop before we get...
0:41:10 > 0:41:14Well, just stop and have a pause at each fence,
0:41:14 > 0:41:18just to get a bit more oxygen in the lungs.
0:41:18 > 0:41:19HE WHEEZES
0:41:28 > 0:41:32So these are the portable cylinders.
0:41:34 > 0:41:39Which you can put in a knapsack and wear them on your back.
0:41:39 > 0:41:43This one generates oxygen out of the air.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45MACHINE BEEPS
0:41:45 > 0:41:48And then that stops
0:41:48 > 0:41:53and then you just put these up your nostrils.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55HE COUGHS
0:41:57 > 0:42:01Like that. How often are you using that?
0:42:01 > 0:42:05I use this most nights, to help me get to sleep.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09And I sleep down here on there.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Because it saves me going upstairs,
0:42:11 > 0:42:14so I just come in here and flop down on there.
0:42:15 > 0:42:20Quite often sat up with my head resting on the cushion
0:42:20 > 0:42:23because that's the least stress on my chest, you know?
0:42:23 > 0:42:25DOG SNORES
0:42:32 > 0:42:33Are we allowed to film the smoking?
0:42:33 > 0:42:36HE COUGHS
0:42:39 > 0:42:43You can...film the smoking and the coughing.
0:42:43 > 0:42:49I'm just thinking that if some medical person saw it, they might...
0:42:49 > 0:42:51It's OK.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53Are you not supposed to be smoking?
0:42:53 > 0:42:58I shouldn't smoke, because every time I smoke
0:42:58 > 0:43:01I reduce the capacity of my lungs.
0:43:03 > 0:43:05Which hastens death.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12I'm off to bed.
0:43:12 > 0:43:13Night-night. Night-night.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Good night, my darling. Night-night.
0:43:15 > 0:43:19Thank you for making such a lovely day out of today.
0:43:19 > 0:43:20And thank you too, Geoff.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Thank you very much.
0:43:24 > 0:43:26Night, Dad. Night-night, big boy.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28AIR WHISTLES
0:43:28 > 0:43:30How long do you have to stay like that, Dad?
0:43:30 > 0:43:33I shall fall asleep like this...
0:43:33 > 0:43:36and then I'll wake up in a couple of hours
0:43:36 > 0:43:38and probably have to have a pee
0:43:38 > 0:43:42and then I shall try and get back to sleep again.
0:43:50 > 0:43:51BIRDSONG
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Whilst things were pretty ominous on the health and financial front,
0:44:02 > 0:44:05there had been some significant news about our family history.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09What about... We haven't talked
0:44:09 > 0:44:13about the major development yet, have we?
0:44:13 > 0:44:14Becoming old and decrepit?
0:44:14 > 0:44:16LAUGHTER
0:44:16 > 0:44:19That's the most major development.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22We is decrepit. We're fucked.
0:44:22 > 0:44:27I would assume you're referring to my biological father.
0:44:27 > 0:44:29Oh, that? Oh, that was a clever guess.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34No, we haven't talked about that, which is very recent.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37It happened within the last couple of weeks.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Having found the name of the man we
0:44:39 > 0:44:43believe to be Dad's biological father in some old papers,
0:44:43 > 0:44:46my sister had done some detective work and discovered that he was a
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Canadian veteran of the Second World War,
0:44:49 > 0:44:52and what's more - he was still alive.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58He's quite famous
0:44:58 > 0:45:00in many respects
0:45:00 > 0:45:05and he's well-known and...
0:45:06 > 0:45:09He's a war veteran, a war hero,
0:45:09 > 0:45:14and has worked all his life and has been chairman of this,
0:45:14 > 0:45:17that and the other. He's absolutely someone to be proud of.
0:45:18 > 0:45:23That's only happened within the last three weeks or so.
0:45:24 > 0:45:29My eldest daughter has written him a letter
0:45:29 > 0:45:30and at the end it just asks...
0:45:34 > 0:45:36..if you are interested, we are here,
0:45:36 > 0:45:39and if you're not interested please let us know.
0:45:39 > 0:45:43But probably the most important thing in my life at the moment
0:45:43 > 0:45:47is just trying to fucking survive.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50And that's true.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54Whether it's for health or finance or whatever reason,
0:45:54 > 0:45:56I'm trying to survive.
0:45:59 > 0:46:01GRAND CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:46:21 > 0:46:24I've got that terrible picture of your dad,
0:46:24 > 0:46:28just losing it and waiting for the ambulance to come.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30I don't mean losing it...
0:46:31 > 0:46:33He just couldn't breathe.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35I couldn't do anything.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39And I know it sounds the most selfish, terrible thing in the world
0:46:39 > 0:46:42but I just wanted somebody else to take responsibility for it
0:46:42 > 0:46:45because I didn't know how long I'd be able to hang in there
0:46:45 > 0:46:47and get him to hang in there.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49And that was frightening.
0:46:49 > 0:46:50And then, you know...oh...
0:46:56 > 0:46:57LAUGHTER
0:46:57 > 0:46:59With Dad in hospital,
0:46:59 > 0:47:05my sister Miranda and Anna's sister Jan came to Wales to rally round.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07The thing is, there's a lot of people in the house,
0:47:07 > 0:47:10and they all talk to me at once.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12All want to know something at the same time.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17I sort of don't quite get how she can't cope with anything.
0:47:17 > 0:47:20What do you mean? Well, I mean, you know,
0:47:20 > 0:47:23making a cup of tea for six people.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Don't you think? She does find it hard.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29Why do you think that is?
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Because she's never had to do anything for herself, really.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37Nothing, nothing...
0:47:38 > 0:47:41Sorry, she was brought up to do nothing.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44She was brought up with staff and...
0:47:48 > 0:47:52And again, as much as I love her, she's eccentric.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55Yeah. What do you think? I think it's difficult.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58I mean, I think she's wonderfully eccentric.
0:47:58 > 0:47:59And we all love her for that.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Yeah.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05I think she's probably quite difficult to be around all the time.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08But I also think Dad is...
0:48:08 > 0:48:10and together...
0:48:10 > 0:48:12They work. ..strangely, it works.
0:48:12 > 0:48:14I know. I know.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17We've run out of dog food.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19God, have I got enough spaghetti?
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Oh, I've got some noodles I can cook for them.
0:48:22 > 0:48:26I mean, it makes me feel peculiar thinking about it.
0:48:26 > 0:48:28Shit. I'm sorry.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30I think I've got an appointment sometime.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Oh, dear.
0:48:32 > 0:48:35I'm meant to have a blood test taken.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38It's not Tuesday... No, I think it's tomorrow.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40It's Monday today. Yeah, sorry.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44Obviously I don't know if I'm coming,
0:48:44 > 0:48:46which way I'm going, whatever.
0:48:46 > 0:48:47I wrote it down somewhere.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50I'll have to ring the surgery and check.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Help. What's up?
0:48:52 > 0:48:55Just trod in dog poo.
0:48:55 > 0:48:56Why do you need help for that?
0:48:56 > 0:48:58Cos I've got my socks on.
0:48:58 > 0:49:00And I need a clean pair of socks.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Take off your socks, Miranda.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Where did you tread in it?
0:49:06 > 0:49:09It's there. That's poo, isn't it?
0:49:09 > 0:49:11I wouldn't think it's... Come here.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15It's all right, it won't kill you.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17I just need a different pair of socks.
0:49:17 > 0:49:19It's only shit.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24The dog only probably ate it last night.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26SHE LAUGHS
0:49:28 > 0:49:29Oh, God. You see what I mean?
0:49:29 > 0:49:32I was going to fill a bowl so
0:49:32 > 0:49:36Miranda can wash her foot, but I can't sodding find it.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39I said, "Please don't throw it out or hide it."
0:49:42 > 0:49:44I'm not having a go at anybody,
0:49:44 > 0:49:47but has anybody left the tap on upstairs?
0:49:49 > 0:49:51I'll check the tap.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54I would be grateful because the water is cold.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Nobody has had a bath, have they?
0:49:56 > 0:49:59I had a bath this morning. That's all right.
0:49:59 > 0:50:00Maybe that's what it is.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04There is no tap on.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07No. I think we've sourced the cock-up.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09The er...
0:50:09 > 0:50:11What have they done with the cleaning stuff?
0:50:11 > 0:50:13You see what I mean?
0:50:13 > 0:50:15How long do you think you can stay here?
0:50:15 > 0:50:17I'm going to have to go back today.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Yeah.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21If Dad is in a stable condition, I'm going to have to go back.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24I haven't got any more clothes with me and...
0:50:27 > 0:50:32..and...there is my cat, and it's just all a bit nuts.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37What do you think about Dad's situation at the moment?
0:50:40 > 0:50:42I don't think he's got long.
0:50:42 > 0:50:446 months? 12 months?
0:50:47 > 0:50:52I think it's just almost a period for us all to be able to...
0:50:53 > 0:50:56It's sad that it gets to this,
0:50:56 > 0:50:59but for us all to say goodbye properly and be with him
0:50:59 > 0:51:04and let him know how we care and also,
0:51:04 > 0:51:06even though Anna drives me mad occasionally,
0:51:06 > 0:51:11to let him know that, one way or the other, we'll make sure Anna is OK.
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Which is, I know, what he really wants.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Do you want me to take you in to see Dad today, Anna?
0:51:20 > 0:51:22I daren't go in...with this...
0:51:23 > 0:51:25It really isn't very good.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Oh, for God's sake!
0:51:28 > 0:51:31Right. I don't know.
0:51:31 > 0:51:32I feel awful not going in.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35He must think I'm an unnatural, cold bitch.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38But I've got this
0:51:38 > 0:51:42awful flu that he's had.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44I don't know.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47All right, tits, I'm coming.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49Can I just fill these up?
0:51:50 > 0:51:51I'm...
0:51:58 > 0:52:00So you've been looking after Anna?
0:52:00 > 0:52:02Been trying.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04She's high maintenance. Yeah.
0:52:05 > 0:52:09I don't know how you manage it. I never have.
0:52:11 > 0:52:12Let's see how much...
0:52:14 > 0:52:17..time we can get out of life together.
0:52:18 > 0:52:21What sort of state it will be, you know?
0:52:25 > 0:52:28No. I think you've been magic.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30You've been an absolute star.
0:52:31 > 0:52:35Just ring up Anna now and again and make sure she doesn't get lonely.
0:52:36 > 0:52:38And just going on...
0:52:39 > 0:52:41..doing what you have been doing,
0:52:41 > 0:52:43which has been the biggest help in the world.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46Taking a load off of my mind.
0:52:50 > 0:52:55Yeah. Yeah.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06Yeah, I think you are right.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Yeah.
0:53:22 > 0:53:23ALPACA SNIFFS
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Oh, oh, not there. Not there.
0:53:41 > 0:53:44I think she's stopped. She's wiping her bottom.
0:53:44 > 0:53:45PHONE RINGS
0:53:45 > 0:53:46Oh, gawd!
0:53:50 > 0:53:52VOICE BREAKING: Hello... Arthur?
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Sorry, my voice is... Oh...
0:53:56 > 0:53:57Just a minute. Just a second.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00SHE COUGHS
0:54:00 > 0:54:02Hello. That is a bit better.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06Well, yes, that's worrying me.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08I haven't been in to see him.
0:54:08 > 0:54:10I write him letters and send them.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12Not long ones, but little notes,
0:54:12 > 0:54:14I try to think of something funny to say.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21How are you feeling about coming home now, Dad?
0:54:22 > 0:54:26I'm hoping to come home as soon as I can, you know?
0:54:26 > 0:54:29I don't want to come out and make life difficult but...
0:54:32 > 0:54:36I noticed they've taken all the rest of the vein things out,
0:54:36 > 0:54:39so they must be thinking I'm pretty much ready to go.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45Shall I get a couple of chairs?
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Hello, my darling. Yeah, get a couple of chairs.
0:54:48 > 0:54:49Hello.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52You can have the big chair if you want.
0:54:52 > 0:54:53I don't mind. Miranda can sit in it.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56Thanks, Miranda. There's a big chair.
0:54:56 > 0:54:57SHE COUGHS
0:54:57 > 0:54:58Oh, God.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01Do you want a banana?
0:55:01 > 0:55:03Everybody keeps offering me bananas.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06I feel like Ed Miliband.
0:55:06 > 0:55:07How are the doggies?
0:55:07 > 0:55:10The doggies, the last time I saw them, which wasn't very long ago,
0:55:10 > 0:55:12were in good form.
0:55:12 > 0:55:15They are sods, though.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19You know the cats like a bit of sprinkle on their food...?
0:55:19 > 0:55:22And you remember what sprinkle does to dogs' stomachs?
0:55:22 > 0:55:24It liquidises them.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27Yeah. But Esme always manages to do a dump,
0:55:27 > 0:55:29preferably right in the middle of the bloody road
0:55:29 > 0:55:34when there is a bus coming and they have to slow down for her,
0:55:34 > 0:55:37and then I never have a bloody bag to pick it up in.
0:55:38 > 0:55:39Anyway...
0:55:40 > 0:55:42And I just had the idea of two of them doing it...
0:55:45 > 0:55:48Anyway, I got her across the road so bloody fast she didn't...
0:55:48 > 0:55:50have the time to arrange herself, so...
0:55:51 > 0:55:53URINE SPLASHES
0:55:56 > 0:55:59I shall do my level best to look after your father...
0:56:02 > 0:56:07..for as long as I can physically manage it.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11Does that frighten you, Anna?
0:56:11 > 0:56:13I don't know if it frightens me,
0:56:13 > 0:56:16but everybody's life comes to an end and you just have to look at it
0:56:16 > 0:56:19squarely in the unpleasant face, if you like.
0:56:21 > 0:56:22I'll tell you what does frighten me,
0:56:22 > 0:56:24is getting ill and then having to go into hospital
0:56:24 > 0:56:27and being treated like a piece of shit.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30It just means that I'm going to have to make damn sure
0:56:30 > 0:56:35I have enough medication so that if I get...
0:56:36 > 0:56:39..ill I can take myself out.
0:56:39 > 0:56:44I think that's the only thing you're going to be able to do quite soon.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Because they don't want all these bloody old people.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50Not very nice to think about it, though, Anna.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Well, you asked. True.
0:56:53 > 0:56:55That's what life is.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Hello...
0:57:02 > 0:57:03DOG BARKS
0:57:05 > 0:57:07And here we've got the welcome.
0:57:07 > 0:57:08Welcome from the dogs.
0:57:08 > 0:57:11'After the scare of his collapse,
0:57:11 > 0:57:13'Dad recovered and came out of hospital.'
0:57:13 > 0:57:15So these are Welsh pasties?
0:57:15 > 0:57:17Well, they are... What do they call them?
0:57:17 > 0:57:18Mushroom and chicken.
0:57:18 > 0:57:21In puff pastry. But they're quite nice, you know?
0:57:21 > 0:57:23'And after nearly 50 years of smoking,
0:57:23 > 0:57:25'he finally gave it up
0:57:25 > 0:57:30'and managed to get around and sleep without using his oxygen machine.'
0:57:30 > 0:57:33We've got a tootsie here.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34'He was also drinking less
0:57:34 > 0:57:37'and seemed to have a reasonable quality of life.'
0:57:37 > 0:57:41These are the vitamins and stuff,
0:57:41 > 0:57:45to try and stop my muscles from shrinking,
0:57:45 > 0:57:47but they've already fallen away, so...
0:57:47 > 0:57:49You've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?
0:57:49 > 0:57:51Yeah. I've lost a stone in about a year.
0:57:53 > 0:57:57I was about 9st and I'm now about 8st,
0:57:57 > 0:57:59so it's a stone gone in a year.
0:58:03 > 0:58:07Dad was also looking into the future and had another car design dream
0:58:07 > 0:58:09that he was trying to get off the ground.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14The business plan is completely foolproof.
0:58:14 > 0:58:17It's based on previous work that I've done with
0:58:17 > 0:58:20Bentley Motor Company Limited,
0:58:20 > 0:58:25in making very special vehicles for very special people.
0:58:27 > 0:58:32So this is just a bit of supplementary food for the alpacas.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34They've come down.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36Come on, brown boy.
0:58:36 > 0:58:38Come on, black boy.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40Come on, big boys.
0:58:40 > 0:58:42But do you still want to stay here, Dad, now?
0:58:42 > 0:58:45Yeah, I do, really.
0:58:45 > 0:58:47It's a home together sort of thing.
0:58:51 > 0:58:55It's something that's just plain us, really.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58For as long as we can stay here, you know,
0:58:58 > 0:59:00this is what we like out of life.
0:59:04 > 0:59:06THUNDER RUMBLES
0:59:12 > 0:59:13BEEPING
0:59:18 > 0:59:19I've been in since Thursday now.
0:59:21 > 0:59:25I fought my way back, as you know, two years eight months ago.
0:59:25 > 0:59:29I had this very serious intensive care thing
0:59:29 > 0:59:33with the breathing problem and then, I think it was April,
0:59:33 > 0:59:36I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
0:59:38 > 0:59:42With a minor area in the left hip
0:59:42 > 0:59:45and lower back of bone cancer.
0:59:47 > 0:59:51Then they did another bone cancer thing,
0:59:51 > 0:59:53and it had spread like buggery.
0:59:53 > 0:59:58It had spread to hips, pelvis, lower spine and even,
0:59:58 > 1:00:01during the course of last year, when I coughed a lot,
1:00:01 > 1:00:03I'd cracked two or three ribs,
1:00:03 > 1:00:06and that's cos it was in the rib, you know.
1:00:06 > 1:00:10It might only be three years and it might be a bit less
1:00:10 > 1:00:13if it really suddenly takes off again.
1:00:13 > 1:00:16But they're not telling you that, you know.
1:00:17 > 1:00:20So, it's....
1:00:20 > 1:00:23There's quite a few things I've got to do in my life
1:00:23 > 1:00:27before that time is up, sort of thing.
1:00:27 > 1:00:28Like what?
1:00:28 > 1:00:31Well, I've got to sort Anna out properly
1:00:31 > 1:00:34and I really want to...
1:00:35 > 1:00:38..make my peace with some of the other kids.
1:00:38 > 1:00:41You and me are mostly all right.
1:00:41 > 1:00:44I hardly ever see Mark or Mitchell.
1:00:45 > 1:00:47But I'll fight it.
1:00:51 > 1:00:52I'll find a way.
1:00:54 > 1:00:56HE COUGHS
1:01:00 > 1:01:01Pardon me.
1:01:01 > 1:01:03'His life is on an edge.
1:01:06 > 1:01:09'One thing has to go wrong and he'll die.'
1:01:11 > 1:01:13And you know that.
1:01:13 > 1:01:15Well, I don't know if I did know that.
1:01:15 > 1:01:17Well, you do now. I think I came here thinking
1:01:17 > 1:01:20he was sort of taken in for observation
1:01:20 > 1:01:27and then I saw him and he was much iller than I, er...
1:01:27 > 1:01:30Well, perhaps I'd put too pretty a gloss on it.
1:01:30 > 1:01:32No. I was trying not to wind you up,
1:01:32 > 1:01:34but I was also trying to tell you
1:01:34 > 1:01:37that you haven't got your darling dad for long.
1:01:39 > 1:01:42You know, I don't want to be without him either.
1:01:42 > 1:01:44But I mean, obviously, you know,
1:01:44 > 1:01:47we're not spring chickens and somebody is going to die.
1:01:48 > 1:01:52Although my health isn't wonderful, it's not going to kill me.
1:01:52 > 1:01:54It's bloody painful.
1:01:54 > 1:01:57I can hardly walk about, but it's not going to kill me.
1:01:57 > 1:01:59But what's wrong with him will.
1:02:00 > 1:02:04And so I suspect that I'm going to lose him.
1:02:17 > 1:02:19The first person in your family to go to university and...
1:02:21 > 1:02:23..got a first in engineering.
1:02:24 > 1:02:26And then did something...
1:02:27 > 1:02:31..just amazingly creative by going into car design after that.
1:02:32 > 1:02:34SHE SIGHS
1:02:34 > 1:02:37I can remember just little things that you made me
1:02:37 > 1:02:38when I was a little girl,
1:02:38 > 1:02:42like the little piano you made me out of wood,
1:02:42 > 1:02:44and you drew the piano keys on it.
1:02:45 > 1:02:48And I can remember the little shop that you made me
1:02:48 > 1:02:51with the little clay bits of food...
1:02:52 > 1:02:55..and just little toys that he made me out of wood.
1:03:01 > 1:03:03And there was that picture of Harry the starling
1:03:03 > 1:03:05on Mum's finger, which...
1:03:05 > 1:03:06SHE SNIFFLES
1:03:06 > 1:03:08It was really important to me and I...
1:03:11 > 1:03:14Made it into wallpaper to cover the whole of the room, for my degree.
1:03:17 > 1:03:19Because it was that important to me.
1:03:19 > 1:03:20It symbolised...
1:03:22 > 1:03:25..such a lot from my childhood.
1:03:25 > 1:03:27Um...
1:03:29 > 1:03:35There were so many important, sweet, little, funny, creative things
1:03:35 > 1:03:38that we got from you.
1:03:41 > 1:03:45We wouldn't be who we are if it hadn't been for you.
1:03:51 > 1:03:54So that's really important.
1:03:54 > 1:03:55You gave us our lives.
1:04:02 > 1:04:04SHE EXHALES
1:04:20 > 1:04:23I'm here, Dad.
1:04:23 > 1:04:24We're here.
1:04:26 > 1:04:27Me and Miranda are here, Dad.
1:04:37 > 1:04:39We love you, Dad.
1:04:39 > 1:04:41We do love you very much, Dad.
1:04:43 > 1:04:44We love you.
1:04:57 > 1:05:00Anna...it's Morgan.
1:05:01 > 1:05:02Um...
1:05:04 > 1:05:07Yeah, I'm with Dad now and he's...
1:05:07 > 1:05:09He's just passed away.
1:05:11 > 1:05:13Yes, yes.
1:05:15 > 1:05:17It just happened very quickly.
1:05:17 > 1:05:19Miranda and me were both with him.
1:05:19 > 1:05:24We were talking to him, holding his hand and...
1:05:24 > 1:05:28And then his breathing, he just stopped breathing.
1:05:28 > 1:05:30But it wasn't...
1:05:32 > 1:05:34It was very peaceful.
1:05:35 > 1:05:36It was very peaceful.
1:05:37 > 1:05:40Dad opened his eyes just as he was going...
1:05:41 > 1:05:44..and we went to get the nurses
1:05:44 > 1:05:47and they came in and said, "Yes, this is him,
1:05:47 > 1:05:50"this is, it is imminent now."
1:05:50 > 1:05:53And we could either decide to stay in the room or not,
1:05:53 > 1:05:56and we stayed in the room, so we held his hand
1:05:56 > 1:05:59and Morgan was talking to him right up to the end
1:05:59 > 1:06:04and I filmed Morgan, because that's been important to Morgan.
1:06:04 > 1:06:06Morgan filmed me talking to him, as well.
1:06:16 > 1:06:21In loving memory of Geoffrey Leonard Matthews,
1:06:21 > 1:06:23known to us as Geoff...
1:06:24 > 1:06:27..loving father of Miranda, Morgan,
1:06:27 > 1:06:33Maximilian, Mark, Mitchell and Michelle.
1:06:33 > 1:06:34Grandfather of...
1:06:34 > 1:06:37Clearly, there is a bit of a theme going on here,
1:06:37 > 1:06:39which I never really got to the bottom of,
1:06:39 > 1:06:43but I think he wanted to create his own little tribe of M's.
1:06:43 > 1:06:46Mini-Matthewses to follow in his footsteps.
1:06:46 > 1:06:49Geoff has left a huge legacy.
1:06:49 > 1:06:52Since his passing, I have received a lot of messages
1:06:52 > 1:06:55from designers around the world, who worked with Geoff...
1:06:55 > 1:06:58As your children have grown, and your grandchildren born,
1:06:58 > 1:07:02lots of love from us all, from first night to last dawn.
1:07:02 > 1:07:06Lots of love from us all, from first night to last dawn.
1:07:16 > 1:07:19Oh, my darling, darling, darling man.
1:07:19 > 1:07:20I miss you.
1:07:20 > 1:07:23The fact that you're not there any more,
1:07:23 > 1:07:26you've gone. I love you.
1:07:28 > 1:07:30I was grieving before it happened,
1:07:30 > 1:07:33because I knew it was so horribly inevitable,
1:07:33 > 1:07:35and I felt so helpless and useless.
1:07:37 > 1:07:41I hope I did everything I could for him, while he was here.
1:07:41 > 1:07:43I tried.
1:07:43 > 1:07:44CAT MEOWS
1:07:46 > 1:07:49You miss Geoff, you do, don't you, my darling little cat?
1:07:49 > 1:07:51You really loved him.
1:07:51 > 1:07:52You don't think much of me.
1:07:52 > 1:07:55I'm not that fond of you, either,
1:07:55 > 1:07:58but as long as it takes, I'll care for you.
1:08:00 > 1:08:04Gosh, there are literally hundreds of these.
1:08:06 > 1:08:10Yeah, that sums up a Sunday.
1:08:11 > 1:08:14Brought together by the funeral, my sister Miranda
1:08:14 > 1:08:19and brothers Max, Mark and Mitchell, all visited Anna at home.
1:08:19 > 1:08:21These are holiday snaps, I think.
1:08:21 > 1:08:22That's when...
1:08:24 > 1:08:25When were we there?
1:08:25 > 1:08:28That's a really... That's a really good pose.
1:08:31 > 1:08:34Yeah, probably quite a regular thing!
1:08:34 > 1:08:35Headache.
1:08:35 > 1:08:37Too much alcohol.
1:08:37 > 1:08:38HE LAUGHS
1:08:38 > 1:08:43Yeah. That's my favourite photo so far.
1:08:45 > 1:08:49My brothers and younger sister, who wasn't able to come to the funeral,
1:08:49 > 1:08:52had only really known Dad when they were children.
1:08:53 > 1:08:58It's a shame. Just what could have been and what was.
1:08:58 > 1:08:59It is a shame.
1:09:08 > 1:09:10That's one of mine. Oh, yeah.
1:09:13 > 1:09:16I didn't know he'd kept any of these.
1:09:16 > 1:09:17Of course, he would.
1:09:19 > 1:09:21Yeah.
1:09:23 > 1:09:25These are all, like, manuals and things.
1:09:27 > 1:09:29This is Masonic...
1:09:29 > 1:09:31Royal Arch Ritual.
1:09:31 > 1:09:34The Warwickshire Working of the Royal Arch Ritual.
1:09:34 > 1:09:36That's almost a tongue-twister, isn't it?
1:09:36 > 1:09:39Especially if you can't say your Rs.
1:09:39 > 1:09:41Lots of phone chargers.
1:09:43 > 1:09:45Very yellow phone.
1:09:45 > 1:09:49What's these letters? Where's the letter that you found from his mum,
1:09:49 > 1:09:50is it this?
1:09:50 > 1:09:54This is the letter from Dad's birth mother,
1:09:54 > 1:10:00who, in very sad circumstances, had to give Dad over for adoption.
1:10:00 > 1:10:05And it's written to his adoptive mother, Doris Matthews.
1:10:05 > 1:10:09"Miss Grettan has told me how very well little Geoffrey is looked after
1:10:09 > 1:10:11"and I would like to thank you for
1:10:11 > 1:10:14"all the care and love you have shown him.
1:10:14 > 1:10:16"It broke my heart to part with him at first,
1:10:16 > 1:10:22"because he was my last link with a past which had promised to be so
1:10:22 > 1:10:26"very beautiful. And when I knew my baby would be illegitimate..."
1:10:26 > 1:10:29So she was expecting to marry his father.
1:10:29 > 1:10:30"..I couldn't bear it.
1:10:30 > 1:10:35"And I knew that for his dear sake, I must part with him.
1:10:35 > 1:10:38"I suppose now there is little more for me to say,
1:10:38 > 1:10:40"except to thank you once again.
1:10:40 > 1:10:42"Please give baby Geoffrey one last
1:10:42 > 1:10:45"kiss from his mother and may God bless you all.
1:10:45 > 1:10:50"Yours very sincerely, Joan Rundle."
1:10:51 > 1:10:53What a beautiful letter.
1:10:53 > 1:10:57What comes across very clearly to me is she was expecting to marry
1:10:57 > 1:11:00Dad's father, which I didn't know.
1:11:00 > 1:11:05And, because then his actual father, who we traced,
1:11:05 > 1:11:08went back to marry somebody else in Canada in the same year.
1:11:08 > 1:11:11Hm. There are the little shoes that she sent him.
1:11:13 > 1:11:16Oh, that's heartbreaking, isn't it?
1:11:16 > 1:11:19"To little Geoffrey, from one who will always love you."
1:11:24 > 1:11:26SHE SOBS
1:11:32 > 1:11:36And that, I believe, is all I have to say.
1:11:36 > 1:11:38Carry on enjoying your evening.
1:11:38 > 1:11:42Thank you so much for coming and making it a good evening.
1:11:42 > 1:11:44Thank you very much.
1:11:44 > 1:11:45APPLAUSE
1:11:47 > 1:11:52That's my son and he's filming me before I die.
1:11:52 > 1:11:53Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
1:11:53 > 1:11:58And he's been picking up bits and pieces of my life.
1:11:58 > 1:12:00One for the record.
1:12:00 > 1:12:01LAUGHTER
1:12:01 > 1:12:03"This was my dad".
1:12:05 > 1:12:09Dad had always joked that this story would end with him dying,
1:12:09 > 1:12:13but when that happened, we just felt sad and empty.
1:12:13 > 1:12:16Whatever issues we had when he was alive,
1:12:16 > 1:12:19suddenly there was a big hole where our dad used to be.
1:12:21 > 1:12:24It now seemed more important to connect with the man we believed
1:12:24 > 1:12:27to be our biological grandfather, whilst we still could.
1:12:41 > 1:12:43Who are we going to see?
1:12:43 > 1:12:47Canada. Does he know who we're going to see?
1:12:47 > 1:12:50Yeah, we're going to see Mummy's grandad.
1:12:50 > 1:12:51Yeah. He's called Charlie.
1:12:53 > 1:12:55Like Charlie and Lola.
1:12:55 > 1:12:56Oh.
1:12:56 > 1:12:58ENGINES ROAR
1:13:07 > 1:13:09How you feeling this morning?
1:13:11 > 1:13:12OK. Yeah, OK.
1:13:17 > 1:13:21Kind of, sort of a bit on edge, you know.
1:13:21 > 1:13:25A bit on edge and a bit anxious.
1:13:25 > 1:13:26Is it ringing?
1:13:30 > 1:13:32Hi, Charlie, it's Miranda.
1:13:34 > 1:13:38OK, yeah, we are in town and we're at the hotel.
1:13:38 > 1:13:42I wondered when would be a good time to come over?
1:13:50 > 1:13:52Charlie's saying come in. I think he's having...
1:13:52 > 1:13:55He's having oxygen, or a pill, or something.
1:13:55 > 1:13:56DOG BARKS
1:13:56 > 1:13:58OK. See the doggie.
1:14:02 > 1:14:05Hi, Charlie. Hey, guys.
1:14:05 > 1:14:06Hello, little doggie.
1:14:06 > 1:14:09Is this OK? Eh? Is this OK?
1:14:09 > 1:14:11Yeah, it's OK, yeah.
1:14:11 > 1:14:15I'm just taking my powder.
1:14:15 > 1:14:17What's this one for? My emphysema.
1:14:20 > 1:14:22Good morning, young lady, how're you doing?
1:14:22 > 1:14:24All right, yeah. You're awake, eh?
1:14:24 > 1:14:26Yeah. All right?
1:14:26 > 1:14:28Yeah. Who's the little red head?
1:14:28 > 1:14:30Hi. Hi. Hi.
1:14:33 > 1:14:34Wow.
1:14:34 > 1:14:37And there's a picture of me back in the '40s.
1:14:37 > 1:14:39You look such a happy young man in that photo.
1:14:39 > 1:14:41You've got a happy character, haven't you?
1:14:41 > 1:14:45A really happy character. Happy character. Yeah.
1:14:45 > 1:14:48So I'll make copies of all those and send them to you.
1:14:48 > 1:14:50Is that all right? Yeah, yeah.
1:14:50 > 1:14:53And these are the medals that I have earned,
1:14:53 > 1:14:57because I fought in France and I helped drive the Germans out.
1:14:57 > 1:15:03This is the insignia badge of the First Special Service Force
1:15:03 > 1:15:05and its job was to handle anything
1:15:05 > 1:15:09that other units possibly couldn't handle.
1:15:09 > 1:15:14They trained us in just about every aspect of fighting
1:15:14 > 1:15:16you'd want to get involved with.
1:15:16 > 1:15:21This medal is a replica of a gold medal that was given to the unit
1:15:21 > 1:15:23by the United States...
1:15:23 > 1:15:25'After fighting in many historical battles,
1:15:25 > 1:15:28'Charlie found himself stationed in England at the end of the war.'
1:15:30 > 1:15:33As the troops were coming back from Europe and going back to Canada,
1:15:33 > 1:15:37they came through this so-called Repat depot,
1:15:37 > 1:15:39where they got re-equipped and all that and
1:15:39 > 1:15:41sent back home to Canada.
1:15:41 > 1:15:45I was the acting sergeant major for a while, at that barracks.
1:15:45 > 1:15:50And every Saturday night, they had a party.
1:15:50 > 1:15:52And, of course, you can't have a party
1:15:52 > 1:15:55unless you have somebody to dance with.
1:15:55 > 1:15:58So we found some young ladies and that's how Joan got involved
1:15:58 > 1:16:03with the parties, and I got involved with Joan.
1:16:05 > 1:16:09Our biological grandmother Joan, who Charlie had an affair with,
1:16:09 > 1:16:12never saw him again after he left for Canada,
1:16:12 > 1:16:14and had my dad adopted shortly afterwards.
1:16:16 > 1:16:19Has Miranda shown you the letter that Joan...
1:16:19 > 1:16:21Joan wrote? Yeah.
1:16:21 > 1:16:22Oh, yeah, I've got it in there.
1:16:22 > 1:16:25And she talks about you... It made me cry, it made me cry.
1:16:25 > 1:16:27It made me cry, too. Yeah.
1:16:27 > 1:16:29She was so young when she died.
1:16:29 > 1:16:32I think in her 40s. Is that right? I think so.
1:16:34 > 1:16:36Joan was a nice girl.
1:16:36 > 1:16:38She was a nice woman. Yeah.
1:16:40 > 1:16:42I thought she was all right.
1:16:42 > 1:16:44She definitely thought you were all right.
1:16:44 > 1:16:46According to that letter.
1:16:46 > 1:16:48I've never read anything like that before.
1:16:51 > 1:16:54I wonder if I made a mistake...
1:16:56 > 1:16:59Yeah. But you can't answer it and neither can I.
1:17:00 > 1:17:03You know, what's clear, Charlie, as well,
1:17:03 > 1:17:05is that you're a very brave man,
1:17:05 > 1:17:07that you've been very brave in the past,
1:17:07 > 1:17:12but I also think that you've been brave by agreeing to see us.
1:17:12 > 1:17:14You know, I did worry, because I didn't even know
1:17:14 > 1:17:18if you knew that Joan was pregnant.
1:17:18 > 1:17:21It must've been quite overwhelming at the time.
1:17:22 > 1:17:24Life goes on.
1:17:24 > 1:17:27Life goes on. So...
1:17:27 > 1:17:29Well, cheers, people. Cheers, Charlie.
1:17:29 > 1:17:31Cheers. God bless you all.
1:17:32 > 1:17:34Do you do that with a mug?
1:17:34 > 1:17:36Sure, I do. Why not?
1:17:36 > 1:17:39THEY CHUCKLE
1:17:39 > 1:17:42'It's amazing how much he looks like Dad, though, isn't it?'
1:17:42 > 1:17:45'It is, yeah. He looks really, really like Dad.
1:17:45 > 1:17:48'I just think I'm talking to Dad, sometimes.
1:17:48 > 1:17:50'I feel like I'm talking to Dad.
1:17:50 > 1:17:53'He's got these very blue eyes, like Dad had.'
1:17:53 > 1:17:54'I see it in his mouth.'
1:17:54 > 1:17:56'And his mouth, too.
1:17:56 > 1:17:59'And also... But the shape of his nose, that kind of slightly...'
1:17:59 > 1:18:01'It's exactly the same.'
1:18:01 > 1:18:04'So I see it basically in all his features, really!
1:18:04 > 1:18:05'He looks like Dad.'
1:18:08 > 1:18:11I just think that for me, it's cathartic,
1:18:11 > 1:18:13because I think it ended so...
1:18:13 > 1:18:15Just horribly with Dad.
1:18:15 > 1:18:17And it was so...
1:18:19 > 1:18:21..mixed up with...
1:18:22 > 1:18:26..you know, guilt and grief... Mm... and anger...
1:18:26 > 1:18:32and just sadness that his life had ended in the way that it had and,
1:18:32 > 1:18:35you know, in that very unhappy way,
1:18:35 > 1:18:39and that he was in the pickle that he was in. Hm...
1:18:40 > 1:18:43That our relationship was weird
1:18:43 > 1:18:46and your relationship was weird with him.
1:18:46 > 1:18:49Everybody's relationship was weird with him... Hm.
1:18:49 > 1:18:50..at times.
1:18:52 > 1:18:57That to sort of have something that ends in a good way...
1:18:57 > 1:18:59Yeah. Is a sort of...
1:18:59 > 1:19:01And what's funny is, like, talking to Charlie,
1:19:01 > 1:19:05it's like talking to Dad, but talking to somebody who is happy.
1:19:05 > 1:19:07PHONE RINGS
1:19:09 > 1:19:11'Hello.'
1:19:11 > 1:19:13Hello, Anna?
1:19:13 > 1:19:15Anna? 'Yes.'
1:19:15 > 1:19:18It's Morgan. 'How's it going, my love?'
1:19:18 > 1:19:19Yeah, it's OK.
1:19:19 > 1:19:23We've just met Charlie for the first time.
1:19:23 > 1:19:25'Oh, wow.' Do you know what?
1:19:25 > 1:19:28He looks so much like Dad, it's extraordinary.
1:19:28 > 1:19:30'I know.
1:19:30 > 1:19:33'I saw the photographs and thought, "My God, you can't deny that one." '
1:19:33 > 1:19:36But in the flesh, even more.
1:19:36 > 1:19:40And just his mannerisms and the way he talks and everything,
1:19:40 > 1:19:42it's just uncanny.
1:19:44 > 1:19:46That's Geoff? Yeah.
1:19:46 > 1:19:49Who's this? His wife?
1:19:49 > 1:19:50Yeah.
1:19:50 > 1:19:52What did he pass away from?
1:19:52 > 1:19:54He had emphysema...
1:19:54 > 1:19:56The same as me. And prostate cancer.
1:19:56 > 1:19:58Oh.
1:19:58 > 1:20:01Runs in the family! Mm...
1:20:01 > 1:20:03This is Joan.
1:20:03 > 1:20:06That's the way I remember her, just like that.
1:20:06 > 1:20:08I even remember the sweater.
1:20:09 > 1:20:10Oh, yeah, that's Joan.
1:20:14 > 1:20:17Well, we just wanted to meet our grandad, Charlie,
1:20:17 > 1:20:19and I hope you don't mind me saying that.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22You want to consider me a grandfather?
1:20:22 > 1:20:24Thank you. I'd be honoured.
1:20:24 > 1:20:26It's been a very,
1:20:26 > 1:20:30very wonderful experience to meet the two of you
1:20:30 > 1:20:35and know you and talk to you and compare notes.
1:20:35 > 1:20:37I'm sorry you're going home.
1:20:38 > 1:20:40Anyway, have a safe trip home.
1:20:40 > 1:20:43You know, it's been so lovely to meet you and to meet your family,
1:20:43 > 1:20:44it's just wonderful.
1:20:44 > 1:20:46Bye-bye, Charlie.
1:20:46 > 1:20:48Sure, nice to meet you too.
1:20:48 > 1:20:51Bye, Charlie. Bye, honey. Look after mummy.
1:20:51 > 1:20:53See you soon.
1:20:53 > 1:20:55Bye. Bye, bye.
1:20:56 > 1:20:57Bye-bye. See you later. Bye.
1:21:16 > 1:21:17Hello, big boy.
1:21:18 > 1:21:19Hiya.
1:21:21 > 1:21:24Is there anywhere, any preference, Anna?
1:21:24 > 1:21:26Well, sort of there.
1:21:26 > 1:21:29I don't know, the hedge seems to have grown over because there was
1:21:29 > 1:21:31some bluebells all along there, last year.
1:21:31 > 1:21:33But I just thought, sort of about...
1:21:33 > 1:21:35So long as it's not going to be...
1:21:35 > 1:21:38You know, because the wind will blow them, I expect,
1:21:38 > 1:21:41and they will become a part of everything else.
1:21:46 > 1:21:48Do you want to hold them, or...?
1:21:48 > 1:21:50Er, yeah, I could hold them.
1:21:51 > 1:21:53Have you got it? It's quite heavy.
1:21:53 > 1:21:57But I don't know if there is, like, a little hole there...
1:21:57 > 1:22:01I don't know if that, if you sort of shake it out of that, but...
1:22:01 > 1:22:03No, you couldn't really do it with the lid on.
1:22:03 > 1:22:05I think it's easier just to tip it.
1:22:05 > 1:22:07If you could keep Dante back, because it's blowing down.
1:22:07 > 1:22:09Dante, darling, come back here.
1:22:09 > 1:22:11It's blowing. It's gone in his eye. There's a good boy.
1:22:11 > 1:22:15Oh, dear. Are you OK, baby?
1:22:15 > 1:22:16BOY CRIES
1:22:16 > 1:22:18I've got some wipes here.
1:22:20 > 1:22:24Oh, darling, I do miss you. God, I miss you.
1:22:24 > 1:22:27Shall we maybe save some, Anna? Sorry?
1:22:27 > 1:22:30Shall we maybe save some? Oh, yes, there's tonnes here.
1:22:30 > 1:22:32Oh, there's quite a lot, yeah!
1:22:35 > 1:22:38It's a beautiful day and we can see the water rushing
1:22:38 > 1:22:40and the light through the trees.
1:22:42 > 1:22:44Thinking of you.
1:23:57 > 1:23:59PERCUSSIVE CLICKING
1:23:59 > 1:24:00WHISTLE
1:24:00 > 1:24:026 Music... Recommends.
1:24:02 > 1:24:04We pick...
1:24:04 > 1:24:05..new music.
1:24:07 > 1:24:10No-one... ..tells us... ..what to choose.
1:24:10 > 1:24:11Whoo!