0:00:03 > 0:00:07'Christmas. It's all about spending time with family.'
0:00:07 > 0:00:10'In our case, that's each other because, since our wives are sisters,
0:00:10 > 0:00:14'we're not just drinking buddies, we're brothers-in-law.'
0:00:14 > 0:00:16'Though we have done a fair bit of boozing over the years,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'this Christmas it's time to do it properly.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23'We're going to be choosing our very own festive selection pack,
0:00:23 > 0:00:27'the 12 drinks that'll ensure we're full of good cheer.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29'Sometimes we'll be sourcing drinks...'
0:00:29 > 0:00:32I'm about to get a ferry to go to Calais.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I'm looking for quite nice champagne.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Not stupid, I don't want to go nuts.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38'..sometimes we'll be making them...'
0:00:38 > 0:00:41It's a... HE MAKES WHIRRING SOUND
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- It's the squealing of little apples. - OK!
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Talk among yourselves.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48'..and sometimes we'll be competing to see whose drink is best.'
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Boy, I hope you've got something good, because this is fantastic.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55I don't know whether my brother-in-law has ever seen
0:00:55 > 0:00:58a bottle of wine that only costs £3 or so.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59'So open a bottle...'
0:00:59 > 0:01:01That's amazing!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02'..pour yourself a glass...'
0:01:02 > 0:01:04That's delicious.
0:01:04 > 0:01:05'..and join us for a festive drink...'
0:01:05 > 0:01:07- HE GASPS - Oh!
0:01:07 > 0:01:08'..or 12.'
0:01:08 > 0:01:09That's my Christmas winner.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32'Just like the Nativity, the story of our search for
0:01:32 > 0:01:36'the 12 Drinks Of Christmas features an inn.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37'Or a pub, anyway.'
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Now, this year, we're all round at mine.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43What I think would be fun would be, this time round, to
0:01:43 > 0:01:45think of exactly what we're going to drink.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48we could have mulled wine. We could have not-mulled wine.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Normal wine...
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Actually, get some really nice wine for Christmas lunch.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53We'll need a brandy.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55we should come up with a good Christmas cocktail.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- We need eggnog.- Definitely eggnog.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Tell you what we should have, Giley,
0:01:59 > 0:02:00an alcohol-free drink.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Forgive me for overreacting, but this is Christmas!
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Somewhere over Christmas
0:02:07 > 0:02:09it might be quite good to just hold back the tide.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Here's my religious position, OK? - Yeah.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Jesus went to a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It's the first thing.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16He arrives at the wedding, "Here's some water." What did he do?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Wine. If you serve me a nonalcoholic cocktail,
0:02:19 > 0:02:20I will put booze in it.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24- There are plenty of drinks... - It's going to be like an episode of Challenge Anneka.
0:02:24 > 0:02:25- Challenge Hanukah! - THEY LAUGH
0:02:25 > 0:02:27This is going to be marvellous fun.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29If we plan the booze, we can have as much
0:02:29 > 0:02:31fun in the planning as we can in the guzzling.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33I think so and we don't have to drink masses of it,
0:02:33 > 0:02:35but it's quite fun to ring the changes
0:02:35 > 0:02:38so it's not the same old thing... three times a day.
0:02:38 > 0:02:39THEY CHUCKLE
0:02:41 > 0:02:45'Since Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine, it seems
0:02:45 > 0:02:49'only right to go to some trouble over the drinks for his birthday.'
0:02:49 > 0:02:51'If we're going to assemble a festive dozen,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53'we'll need a centre of operations.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55'A sort of booze HQ.'
0:03:01 > 0:03:05Ah, Giley. Welcome to our Christmas house.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09'Where else to begin but the central point of the festive season?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12'Christmas lunch, the most important meal of the year.'
0:03:12 > 0:03:14'So the stakes are high
0:03:14 > 0:03:17'when it comes to choosing the wine to drink with it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21'We're agreed it ought to be red, but that's about all we agree on.'
0:03:23 > 0:03:26I've always really loved good red wine, I think it's very important.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31Even when I was a jobbing comic actor, when I first started out,
0:03:31 > 0:03:35and I lived off potatoes and I would just eat kidney beans
0:03:35 > 0:03:38out of the tin - I know...
0:03:38 > 0:03:41I would do all that so I could occasionally spend a bit of money
0:03:41 > 0:03:42on some decent wine.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46And when you draw the cork on that, if you like, you are completing
0:03:46 > 0:03:49the chemical reaction - the last thing that was required
0:03:49 > 0:03:51was the oxygen. You do that, and then you pour it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53GLUGGING
0:03:53 > 0:03:54And there it is. Hmm.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57'But what's the point in splashing out
0:03:57 > 0:04:00'when everyone's already half-sloshed by lunch time?'
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I'm about to get a ferry to go to Calais on what is, technically,
0:04:04 > 0:04:09a booze cruise, and I'm going to pick up something cheapish. I mean,
0:04:09 > 0:04:10not rock-bottom, because it is Christmas.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14But I'm going to pick up something which imagine will be a lot cheaper
0:04:14 > 0:04:15than what Xander will have spend.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Something that will make Xander go, "Mmm, delicious,"
0:04:18 > 0:04:20and then want another bottle of.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Giles likes wine, I know he does.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25He's drunk enough of mine, so...
0:04:25 > 0:04:28You know, I don't know what he's going to do, but he's going to find
0:04:28 > 0:04:30something a bit more pragmatic, I think.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34I suspect he'll go for something that's possibly got less of a story
0:04:34 > 0:04:37behind it, which is fine, there is nothing wrong with that.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40We'll use it for mulling... or it can go in the gravy.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45'So, intrepid seafaring for me in my quest to find something
0:04:45 > 0:04:47'drinkable for less than 20 quid.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51'I'm out to prove to Xander that it can be done.'
0:04:51 > 0:04:55'And a spot of market research for me.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57'I'm taking my three contenders to a restaurant to find out
0:04:57 > 0:05:00'which of them is the people's choice.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03'Sommelier Ben van de Meutter's letting me loose on his diners.'
0:05:03 > 0:05:05How do you do?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08'All three are very much special-occasion wines.'
0:05:08 > 0:05:10So here are my choices.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13In terms of our pricing, this, actually,
0:05:13 > 0:05:16the solid mainstay of the Left Bank, our least expensive.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19I'm not going to say cheapest, by any means - our least expensive,
0:05:19 > 0:05:20about 45 quid.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24This one, the Chambolle, comes in about £49.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26And this one, 52 quid.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30Doink, doink, doink, it goes, in terms of pricing.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Yeah, not bargains, I know, but if you can't splash out at Christmas,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35when can you?
0:05:38 > 0:05:42'Now, my shift as a wine waiter during the lunch-time rush means
0:05:42 > 0:05:46'I will actually be serving my actual wines to actual customers.'
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Chicken or beef? Chicken or beef?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51'Ben helps me brush up my act.'
0:05:51 > 0:05:55So, now we going to decant it to separate the sediment from the wine.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58'Now, sediment is one sign of a good wine.'
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Oh, there we go.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02'The less filtration in the wine-making process,
0:06:02 > 0:06:04'the higher the quality of the wine at the end.'
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Lovely, clear wine at this stage
0:06:06 > 0:06:09'But whilst sediment is good in the bottle, you don't
0:06:09 > 0:06:11'really want it in your glass.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13'The candle makes it easier for you to see
0:06:13 > 0:06:16'when the sediment reaches the neck of the bottle.'
0:06:16 > 0:06:18- CLINKS BOTTLE - Sorry, um...
0:06:18 > 0:06:20If I could just have your attention for one second.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23I'm your supply wine waiter for the day.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24How do you do? Alexander's my name.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27What I need from you today is your palate.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I'm going to give you three different styles of red wine.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33One of them is the one I'm going to give to all my guests
0:06:33 > 0:06:36on Christmas Day, and I want you to give me your honest opinion
0:06:36 > 0:06:38on which one you think is the tiptop.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42'While my brother-in-law is poncing about in a pinny,
0:06:42 > 0:06:44'I'm also canvassing popular opinion
0:06:44 > 0:06:46'amongst my fellow booze cruisers.'
0:06:46 > 0:06:48What's the most you've ever spent on a bottle of wine?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Probably about £12.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52My brother-in-law, Alexander Armstrong...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- Is he really your brother? - He's my brother-in-law.- Oh, wow.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- You can tell he's not my brother. - No, I was going to say!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59He's neither handsome nor clever enough.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03We are having Christmas together as usual and he likes to buy
0:07:03 > 0:07:05very, very posh wine, very expensive wine.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10- It's...- Nonsense? - Just showing off, I think.- Yeah.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12If you've got the money, good luck to you.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16What do you think of people who spend 50... Huge amounts of money,
0:07:16 > 0:07:1750 quid on a bottle of wine?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20What a total waste. I mean, I don't really have a lot of taste.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24My daughter or probably the wife would know more about the taste.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- You admit that you don't have much taste.- No.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- THEY LAUGH - I would drink anything.- Really?!
0:07:29 > 0:07:33'So I'm not alone in thinking there's no need to spend a fortune
0:07:33 > 0:07:34'to get something good.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38'Xander likes French wines and he likes them old and expensive.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39'If I'm going to fool him
0:07:39 > 0:07:42'with a bargain, I need to call in the cavalry.'
0:07:44 > 0:07:47There's nobody more exacting about wine than a Frenchman.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50So I am going to meet someone who is both a Frenchman and a wine critic,
0:07:50 > 0:07:57a double-whammy - that ought to knock Armstrong's posh grog for six.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01'Some might say that drafting in Olivier Poels is cheating.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03'But there's honour at stake.'
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Hi.- Hello, how are you?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07'Deploy the Frenchman.'
0:08:09 > 0:08:13We eat the turkey roasted, with sausages wrapped in bacon,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15with Brussels sprouts with chestnuts...
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Don't laugh at our national cuisine! That's what we have at Christmas.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- A bread sauce.- That's the problem. - It is our problem.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22A bread sauce, cranberry jelly,
0:08:22 > 0:08:26but what's going to go well with that kind of fatty, rich, roasted...?
0:08:26 > 0:08:30We can try something elegant. This one, why not?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32So, what was good in 2009? Sunshine?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Yes, sunshine, it was hot, vintage,
0:08:35 > 0:08:39and the conditions during the harvest were perfect.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43'One place to look for good value is the Languedoc region.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46'The wines there used to be rather low-quality but in the last
0:08:46 > 0:08:50'decade they've really improved and prices haven't caught up.'
0:08:50 > 0:08:52It's not that it needs to be so much good,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54it needs to taste expensive.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56It needs to taste grand.
0:08:56 > 0:09:02Between 10 and 20 or 25 euros you can have really, really good wines.
0:09:02 > 0:09:07This is a good wine for a very reasonable price, as you can see.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Well, it's only 13 euros.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10So look at this.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14This is Chateau Sociando-Mallet, which is often compared
0:09:14 > 0:09:15to the best crus classes.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Sometimes, when you make... - Perfect.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22When you have blind tastings, sometimes it wins.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Can you find anything in here drinkable that's really cheap?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26- Really cheap?- That won't kill me.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30It is a challenge. Nobody can guess the price you paid for this wine.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33I don't know whether my brother-in-law has ever seen
0:09:33 > 0:09:37a bottle of wine that only cost £3.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38'I have now.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41'My contenders cost a little bit more than that.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43'First, there's a claret from Bordeaux.
0:09:43 > 0:09:48'Now, clarets can be left to age for years and years, but this is a 2002,
0:09:48 > 0:09:50'so 11 years old.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53'You can see the maturity of a wine from its colour.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56'Younger ones have a slightly bluish tinge
0:09:56 > 0:09:58'and really old ones are sort of brownish.'
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- What about the taste, do you like that?- I like the aftertaste,
0:10:03 > 0:10:05it's quite oaky, quite smoky.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09I think it's great, I think you could drink quite a lot of it
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- cos it's not too heavy. - It is very nice, actually.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Oh, I quite like that, it's quite earthy.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19'Next, another French one. This one is a 2001 Burgundy,
0:10:19 > 0:10:20'so a pinot noir.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25'Now, 2001's a good vintage but not a classic like 2000 or 2005,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28'when the weather conditions were perfect.'
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I don't think it will be as big a talking point.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- OK, not as big a talking point. - Personally, myself...
0:10:32 > 0:10:35OK, fine, we'll get back to the wine-maker.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36and pass on your comments.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41It lingers on the palate a little bit longer than the first.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46- Is it a nice aftertaste or a fruity aftertaste?- It's fruity.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Or a tannin aftertaste?- No, tannin.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53I am smelling fruit. That last one was very fruity.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57'Last, a bit of a curveball, a Lebanese wine.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01'A 1996 vintage, it's the oldest of my three wines
0:11:01 > 0:11:04'and the most expensive, but will my tables appreciate it?
0:11:04 > 0:11:08'Older wines have leathery, mushroomy flavours,
0:11:08 > 0:11:12'so something this age might not be for everyone.'
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- Oh, I really like that. - It's not the...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16That almost tastes a bit Christmassy.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Yeah, I can go along with that.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24I like it. I would drink worrying quantities, I think!
0:11:24 > 0:11:26It's the nicest of the three.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28There's something a little unusual about it
0:11:28 > 0:11:29but not necessarily in a good way.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32No, it's not quite there. No.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35So, we now come to the all-important vote.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36I'd go for this wine.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- You're going for number three. - I would agree.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40And how about you?
0:11:40 > 0:11:43This is much smoother and it would complement the dish much better.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Number three, OK, well...
0:11:45 > 0:11:48- I would go for number three.- You are going to go for number three.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Number one, and I would be delighted to come to Christmas
0:11:51 > 0:11:53if you were serving that.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56OK, yes, I think we'll be serving it about 1.30pm. OK?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- Absolutely.- Um, make sure you're there!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Enjoy the rest of your lunch and thank you
0:12:00 > 0:12:02so much for lending us your palates.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03- No, thank you!- Brilliant.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07'So the Lebanese wine has seen off two types of French.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10'Not as surprising as it might first appear, when you consider
0:12:10 > 0:12:12'wine's been made in the Lebanon for thousands of years.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15'Another ancient wine-producing nation that's worth a look is
0:12:15 > 0:12:16'Turkey.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18'Now, that would be good for Christmas.'
0:12:20 > 0:12:22'Meanwhile, on my side of the Channel...'
0:12:22 > 0:12:25So, you must be used to this kind of glamorous setting for
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- a wine tasting. - Thank you very much for giving me
0:12:27 > 0:12:30the opportunity to have this fantastic tasting room.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Should we start with the very cheap stuff?- Yes, of course.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36This one was 4.48 euros, about £3.50.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Not expensive at all, so don't expect something too incredible.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You chose this wine, pal - it's your reputation.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51I've had better wines!
0:12:51 > 0:12:53THEY LAUGH
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Four euros.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Four euros. I'll give you three for it.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Do you remember how much this one was?- Yes, between 13 and 14.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It's clinging on to the side of the glass.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Just first nose, you are able to... What you're looking for.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Yeah, absolutely.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16I spit inside.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19I'm driving.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22A little bit... No, nothing's gone down the throat.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24No, that's delicious.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Let's go to the Sociando-Mallet.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30This one was a bit more expensive. This one was...23 euros.
0:13:30 > 0:13:3123 euros.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Less aggressive even than the last one.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Yes, but feel the minerality, you feel the precision of the fruit.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41The wine is deep.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43OK, well, that's a nice claret.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48If your brother-in-law loves typical Bordeaux-style wines, with this,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51he can't be disappointed.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55'So I've got a 20-quid bottle to take on whatever Xander's
0:13:55 > 0:13:58'bringing to the table for Christmas lunch.'
0:14:00 > 0:14:04I think a lot of people would look on £20 as a pretty
0:14:04 > 0:14:06sky-high limit on a bottle of wine.
0:14:06 > 0:14:13I understand. I mean, the prices of wine vary from £10 up to sky-high.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16The price is set by a few things, meaning the demand
0:14:16 > 0:14:20and the production. So you only, probably, have 3,000 bottles
0:14:20 > 0:14:23of Chateau Musar, everyone wants it, the price goes up.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26But then, of course, you have the ageing as well.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Somebody had to nurture it and keep it in a good storing place,
0:14:30 > 0:14:33and now you're buying it, and that's why you're paying £50.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38In '97 or '98 it would not have cost you £50,
0:14:38 > 0:14:40but you would have had to store it yourself.
0:14:40 > 0:14:45If I'd bought a case of that in 1997 I'd probably have drunk it in 1998.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46There it is.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49'The lesson here is that we ought to be buying
0:14:49 > 0:14:53'the wine for Christmas 2023 now while it's reasonably affordable...'
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Mmm-mmm.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56'..and then we should put it in a very safe place
0:14:56 > 0:14:57'and forget about it.'
0:14:57 > 0:15:01I think there's a clear winner. Your very, very good health.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Cheers.- And happy Christmas, I should say.- Same to you.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07BEEP
0:15:07 > 0:15:10ANSWERPHONE: 'Please leave your message after the tone.'
0:15:10 > 0:15:11'Ah, Giles! You're not answering.'
0:15:11 > 0:15:15'I'm just ringing to tell you that we have selected a wine.'
0:15:15 > 0:15:19I hope you've got something good, because this is fantastic.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22It's perfect. It's Christmassy, it's grown-up.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Listen, I'm not going to...
0:15:24 > 0:15:27I won't bang on about it too much when the wine is so eloquent.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30'But I hope you've got something good.'
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Why, by the way, has this got a French ring on it?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37'We'll see whose wine wins it over Christmas lunch,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40'but there are 11 more drinks to go.'
0:15:40 > 0:15:44'Mm, how about some Christmas spirit? Brandy.'
0:15:44 > 0:15:47'Or rather Cognac or Armagnac.'
0:15:47 > 0:15:49'Basically anything with an "ac" on the end.'
0:15:49 > 0:15:53'Presumably, that's the sound you make when you've had a swig. "Ac!"'
0:15:53 > 0:15:55'But brandy's not just for drinking.'
0:15:55 > 0:15:58'Oh, no! We need it for brandy butter, mulled wine,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01'eggnog and getting a good flame on the pud.'
0:16:01 > 0:16:04'Having a flaming pudding's about alcohol content.'
0:16:04 > 0:16:08'Brandy is usually around 40% proof.'
0:16:08 > 0:16:10You're probably wondering why we're dressed like this.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13I can reveal that we'll be lighting some Christmas puddings
0:16:13 > 0:16:16and we have a fireman on hand.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I've got to say, "Don't try this at home."
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Have you met my friend here?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Ha-ha! Have you met MY friend?
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Yeah, all right! Uh-huh...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Yeah!
0:16:27 > 0:16:28This is about three years old.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31We'll see how well or badly this burns. I guess not that well.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35At Christmas, people grab the brandy they had from last year.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- They've had it for years. - Pour it on... Nothing.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Why not get one bottle that'll do you for the whole Christmas season?
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Make brandy butter with it, light your Christmas pudding with it,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47maybe swill it round a glass and enjoy it.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50All I can think of when I look at you is Flashdance.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Ha-ha!
0:16:52 > 0:16:57OK. So, listen. We've got three Christmas puddings.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I'm going to ask you to put some brandy...
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Let's start with common or garden brandy
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- from the back of grandma's cupboard. - Right.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07We'll splosh it on.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10There you go! Now let's see if we can raise a flame.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13You're certainly pushing it around the thing.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Yeah, that's rubbish!
0:17:16 > 0:17:19The reason that one didn't work is because it was a schoolyard error.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22You've used the old brandy from the back of the cabinet.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26It's been open two or three years and all the alcohol has evaporated.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29You can smell there isn't really any there. That's just grim!
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- You want lots of alcohol, so it's got to be new brandy.- OK.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34And it should be warm
0:17:34 > 0:17:38so that the alcohol molecules break away from the water molecules
0:17:38 > 0:17:42in the rest of the liquid and can catch fire and make sparky dazzle.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45OK. Are you ready?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- The hot part is the blue part of the flame, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51That's where it's... Oh, I can smell burning hair!
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- No, it's burning glove. - Shall we go for it?- Yeah, OK.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Everybody stand a long, long way back. Anything could happen.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59OK, I'm stepping back. That is burning!
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Look at that! That's beautiful. There we are!
0:18:03 > 0:18:07OK. Our third option, which may work even better, is going to be
0:18:07 > 0:18:09the Austrian rum, 80% proof.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12It is precisely twice as flammable as the Cognac, which is 40%.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14This is what the Von Trap family lived on.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17We're going to make a little hole there.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20We need to warm this stuff. Where are you going with that?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Smell that! It smells of treacle toffees.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26I've got it in here... Just me!!
0:18:26 > 0:18:31Can I just taste it? Because it doesn't smell, to me, very alcoholic.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Mm!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38CLEARS THROAT
0:18:39 > 0:18:41LAUGHTER
0:18:42 > 0:18:44That's enough. That's enough.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Oh! Look at it! Wow!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Now, that is a... That is...
0:18:50 > 0:18:52That is burning beautifully, isn't it?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56That holds up all our theories. That is going to burn until Easter.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59That's given us a pretty unequivocal answer, hasn't it?
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Certainly the mouthful of Stroh has given me a pretty unequivocal...
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I spat it all out and yet I'm still hammered.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- It's still burning. It's actually burnt practically away.- Yeah.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Fantastic! There we are! If you have no interest in brandy,
0:19:14 > 0:19:18but you only want something that's going to work on your pudding,
0:19:18 > 0:19:23either crumble some firelighters on top or little bit of this Stroh.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27'Even if you do use it on your Christmas pudding,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30'it's probably not advisable
0:19:30 > 0:19:32'to drink 80% proof rum on Christmas Eve.'
0:19:32 > 0:19:35'It might kind of ruin the next day.'
0:19:35 > 0:19:37'So how about a bespoke cocktail instead?'
0:19:37 > 0:19:40'That's something of a tradition in our family.'
0:19:40 > 0:19:43'You like a twist on a classic, but this year I think we should be
0:19:43 > 0:19:45'a bit racier...'
0:19:45 > 0:19:46BOTH: Aha!
0:19:46 > 0:19:48'..and try something young people are drinking.'
0:19:48 > 0:19:50'Good thing we can call on a man
0:19:50 > 0:19:52'at the cutting edge of cocktail invention.'
0:19:52 > 0:19:56'Tony Conigliaro, the Willy Wonka of booze.'
0:19:56 > 0:20:01What we have is a very specific need for a Christmas Eve cocktail.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03OK. So what ideas do you have?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I was thinking Christmas Eve, you probably want to stay up
0:20:06 > 0:20:10and wrap presents for the kids and sort of start on the turkey.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Where are you going with this, Giley?
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I'm going for an espresso Martini, so espresso and vodka,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19but on the top you would float Irish cream liqueur.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22I think that would be an espresso "ho, ho, ho" Martini.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24So, this is what, your base?
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Yes, this is the vodka and coffee.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I think this is going to be de-licious.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31This is very exciting.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34'I'm hoping the Irish cream liqueur will complement the coffee
0:20:34 > 0:20:38'in my espresso Martini, but will it float?'
0:20:38 > 0:20:41This is how you'll keep the suspension on top.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43You think it's going to disappear under the crema?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I think it might do. We'll see.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49It's gone under it!
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- But it will sit on top of the coffee?- No, it's not.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55It's going to come back up. Don't say it with such glee!
0:20:55 > 0:20:57It's looking rather amazing.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- Were you expecting that? - Yes, to a certain extent.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05That's got a lot of sugar in it and the density is a lot heavier
0:21:05 > 0:21:09than the other ingredients, so it's bound to sink, to a certain point.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11There we are!
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I think that is fantastic!
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I didn't quite get enough Baileys with that to temper it.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23But it's nice. It is very nice.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26That flavour is weirdly Christmassy. Why on earth it should be...
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Give it a nice big slug. That'll put hair on your chest.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31It's like being back at university,
0:21:31 > 0:21:34doing kind of strange shots of stuff.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- What are you saying?- It's quite hardcore.- I am hardcore!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41'Over Christmas last year, British drinkers bought over
0:21:41 > 0:21:43'130,000 bottles of Irish cream liqueur a day.'
0:21:43 > 0:21:46'That's a bottle and half a second.'
0:21:46 > 0:21:49'But how much of it can you really drink?'
0:21:49 > 0:21:52'My cocktail suggestion is an altogether lighter proposition.'
0:21:52 > 0:21:54'A twist on a gin-based classic.'
0:21:54 > 0:21:57- Mine's called the Ginger Lady. - OK.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00You won't be surprised to hear she's a sister drink to the White Lady.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- OK.- So, it's lemon juice, gin,
0:22:04 > 0:22:06obviously two parts gin, one part lemon juice,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09and instead of Cointreau, use The King's Ginger,
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- that lovely ginger liqueur.- Yeah.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13So, there's the gin.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18There's the gin. We'll use about 40 and 20 of lemon...
0:22:18 > 0:22:22I'm going to go as close as possible to the White Lady proportions.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28It really looks remarkably like a White Lady.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35- Good health, Tony.- Cheers!
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- See! That's what you should have done!- What? Toasted him?- Yeah, yeah.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43There is a little bit of heat from the ginger. It's got the lightness.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45We were wanting something...
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Obviously, Christmas is quite "grr" and heavy.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50A lot of heavy food and stodgy stuff.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52A lot of preserves and things like that.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54This would cut through that.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58That's more sophisticated.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03It's more up my street because it's more classical in that respect.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Mm.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07It's... I hate to say it. It's a more sophisticated cocktail
0:23:07 > 0:23:12than whatever rubbish was that I made! Three layers of brown.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15That's sophisticated and delicious. I would drink it at Christmas.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20'Cocktails are enjoying a real renaissance.'
0:23:20 > 0:23:24'They haven't been this popular since the Jazz Age of the 1920s.'
0:23:24 > 0:23:26'We've settled on one for Christmas Eve,
0:23:26 > 0:23:30'but there may be people who'd like something without alcohol.'
0:23:30 > 0:23:33'Do we know any of them? Certainly none in our family.'
0:23:33 > 0:23:36'We ought to have something for the teetotal. Who knows?'
0:23:36 > 0:23:40'Maybe a single, solitary booze-free offering might do us some good too.'
0:23:40 > 0:23:42'Like any right-thinking person, I'd say,
0:23:42 > 0:23:46' "If you want something nonalcoholic, turn on a tap." '
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Somewhere over the Christmas period, we'll be entertaining
0:23:53 > 0:23:55expectant mothers, probably, drivers...
0:23:55 > 0:23:57A fruitier Christmas than normal, then?
0:23:57 > 0:24:00There may be recovering alcoholics coming for a drink.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Recovering alcoholic, pregnant people doing the driving. What they want...
0:24:04 > 0:24:06They'll want something other than fizzy water.
0:24:06 > 0:24:12I'm saying half a cup of elderflower...yummy cordial,
0:24:12 > 0:24:14mix that with a litre of soda water.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16There we are! Come on! Look!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18We're mixing it around with the fizz.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I'm thinking about giving up the booze, driving,
0:24:20 > 0:24:23and becoming pregnant just so I qualify for one of these!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25You want the juice of half a lime?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Yes. Two halves, in fact.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30The next thing we'll pop in here is...
0:24:30 > 0:24:32a little handful of blackberries.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Why don't you throw them in the gl... No?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- HE WHISPERS:- No, no, no. - OK.- In they go. Whee!
0:24:37 > 0:24:39That one's going round and round.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42There you are! I'm just bruising the mint.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44You are going to love this, I tell you now.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47In that goes. There we are. In goes the bruised mint.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- Yum!- OK. Now, look.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Could you make me a lime twist and while you're doing that,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I'm going to make a little minty garnish.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Do you want me to hang it over the...?
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Just bung it in there, don't you think?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Have a swig.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Oh, my! Delicious. I've changed my mind about everything!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Listen! This is just to buy yourself...
0:25:11 > 0:25:16Buy your poor liver a precious little break for an hour or so.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18You drink this and it goes, "Ugh...
0:25:18 > 0:25:21"Oh, hang on! That's quite... Mm! Oh!"
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Aah!
0:25:24 > 0:25:29You would say if I'd got something in my teeth, wouldn't you?
0:25:30 > 0:25:34'Consider my liver regenerated. More booze, please!'
0:25:34 > 0:25:38'How about a hot cider punch that was once a Christmas tradition?'
0:25:38 > 0:25:40'Ah! As in a wassail bowl.'
0:25:40 > 0:25:45'Very popular with the Victorians, who served it to carollers.'
0:25:45 > 0:25:47'But it goes back a lot further than that.'
0:25:47 > 0:25:52'The word "wassail" comes from the Anglo-Saxon "wes hal" - "be whole".
0:25:52 > 0:25:54'Or "good health" to you and me.'
0:25:55 > 0:25:59'A wassail bowl was filled with punch made from ale or cider
0:25:59 > 0:26:00'with spices and sugar.'
0:26:00 > 0:26:05'We're going for cider, which is why we're in an orchard in Somerset.'
0:26:07 > 0:26:10- Do you actually like cider? - Yeah, I do.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12My parents thought it was nonalcoholic,
0:26:12 > 0:26:13so we were given it all our lives.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- And look how well you've turned out! - Exactly. You see!
0:26:17 > 0:26:18No, I do like it.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21'Good thing, too, as we're meeting Andrew Quinlan
0:26:21 > 0:26:22'from Orchard Pig cider.'
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- Andrew, good morning.- Good morning.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Here we are in the heart of cider country.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- Thousands of years we've been drinking cider?- Yes, for a long time.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32In fact, it's been currency here for a long time.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Farm workers used to get paid in cider.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Part-payment, but it was safer than water.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41Of course, because water was full of all kinds of disease, such a typhus.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43- And the alcohol killed them...- Ah!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46..in the cider, so that's why you could drink cider safely,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49as part of your wage and instead of water.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51'There are two types of wassailing.'
0:26:53 > 0:26:56'One that happens in orchards in January when people make a rumpus
0:26:56 > 0:27:00'to wake up the trees so they get a good harvest later in the year.'
0:27:00 > 0:27:05# So we may have apples and cider next year. #
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Copyright Armstrong 2013.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10'Bit early for that.'
0:27:10 > 0:27:13'We're interested in the other one, Christmas wassailing,'
0:27:13 > 0:27:16'an ancient feudal practice where peasants called on their lord
0:27:16 > 0:27:18'for a free feed.'
0:27:19 > 0:27:23'They got a cup of punch from the wassail bowl too.'
0:27:23 > 0:27:27'Hence, our need for some cider, which obviously starts with apples.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:30I've selected a couple of beauties here.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33This is a cox. Good old-fashioned cox. Bite into that.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36I want to show you the difference between a good eating apple
0:27:36 > 0:27:37and a cider apple.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39It's not a trick, you cynical man!
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Mm! God! That's delicious!
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Can you eat cider apples?
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Yes, you can. While that's still sweet in your mouth, try that.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49That's a dabbernet apple. These'll make a good cider.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51A dabbernet Sauvignon.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52Absolutely.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56Now, you'll get juice to start with then it'll hit you.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01That's not even nasty in that it's not even food.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05I thought it would be comically sour. Why is that better for cider?
0:28:05 > 0:28:07The tannin in those will give you the flavour.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10You don't hand-pick cider apples from the tree.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13They go on the ground. A machine comes and hoovers them up.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14So you pick up the windfalls?
0:28:14 > 0:28:18When an apple lands, it bruises and that's stage one of fermentation.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Eating apples have to be hand-picked.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22If they touch the ground, you can't use them.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24If there are bugs or anything gets on the apple,
0:28:24 > 0:28:27the fermentation process kills them.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28If we want to make some cider,
0:28:28 > 0:28:31we're going to have to collect some apples.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34Yuk!
0:28:34 > 0:28:37'Where's that machine he was talking about?'
0:28:37 > 0:28:40'Production here's normally on a slightly larger scale but we only
0:28:40 > 0:28:45want to make a demijohn so we're using a more traditional method.'
0:28:45 > 0:28:47This is going to take about a day.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50We should be ready by Christmas!
0:28:50 > 0:28:53We all know that apples are very good for you,
0:28:53 > 0:28:55an apple a day and all that,
0:28:55 > 0:28:58but I've heard that cider's meant to be very good for you.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00What's in cider that's so good for you?
0:29:00 > 0:29:01So I feel good about my wassail cup.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05A cider apple has about double the antioxidants as an eating apple.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09'Not convinced cider really counts as one of your five a day.'
0:29:09 > 0:29:11'Mmmm, be nice if it did.'
0:29:11 > 0:29:13'First we mill our apples to break them down a bit
0:29:13 > 0:29:16'so it's easier to get the juice out.'
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Let's move the Ark of the Covenant here.
0:29:18 > 0:29:23'Then the apples are pressed to extract the juice.'
0:29:23 > 0:29:24Do you want a go?
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Listen, listen. The squealing of little apples.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28Listen!
0:29:31 > 0:29:34I think Xander can do a bit better than that.
0:29:34 > 0:29:35Oh, do you now?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41'It doesn't look very appetising now.'
0:29:41 > 0:29:44'But in about six months it'll be yum.'
0:29:47 > 0:29:49There you go, guys, there's your cider.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52I shall look forward to hearing all about how that turns out.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55We'll tell you in slurry voices. Thank you.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56Pleasure.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00'But the wassail bowl's not the only hot booze treat we've got in store.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03'There's wine to be mulled too.'
0:30:03 > 0:30:05'We've been drinking mulled wine in the winter
0:30:05 > 0:30:09'since at least the 17th century, but all too often nowadays
0:30:09 > 0:30:12'it's not nearly as delicious as it ought to be.'
0:30:12 > 0:30:15Where do you stand on mulled wine?
0:30:15 > 0:30:16It's fine, quite like it.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19Doesn't get you too drunk, cos the alcohol blows off.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Good thing to do with rubbish wine brought round by stingy guests.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24I'm going to take issue with that.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26The problem that mulled wine has is most people
0:30:26 > 0:30:29think it's nice and wonder why they don't drink more.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32They wake up the next morning like it was Armageddon
0:30:32 > 0:30:37and think, "Oh, crikey! Never having mulled wine again."
0:30:37 > 0:30:39The reason is, this is my theory,
0:30:39 > 0:30:42that people use industrial wine to make it.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45You'd never make mulled wine unless you use the cheapest wine
0:30:45 > 0:30:47from the least wine-producing country.
0:30:47 > 0:30:51The "good wine doesn't give you a hangover" school of thinking.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54- I buy into that completely. - I totally don't.- Really?
0:30:54 > 0:30:59I think you just drink less of it because it's so expensive.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01- Maybe that's it. Anyway, listen!- Mm-hm.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05What we're going to do is make mulled wine my way.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09I've taken this wine, popped it into a mixing bowl and I've
0:31:09 > 0:31:16steeped it in sultanas and raisins, oranges and a stick of cinnamon.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19So I'm going to chuck that into the pan.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24I'll start it off on the hot side of the Aga.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Pop that it there.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29If I can do it without spilling it, that will be brilliant.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Look at all that fruit!
0:31:31 > 0:31:34OK. Now, top this up with a bit more wine.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39To that, I'll add two further sticks of cinnamon,
0:31:39 > 0:31:42six cardamom pods, approximately,
0:31:42 > 0:31:46orange zest, some almond flakes in there as well.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Are you making a cake or a drink?
0:31:51 > 0:31:54OK, and last little addition is 150ml of brandy
0:31:54 > 0:31:57which we'll pop in there.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01'You might have noticed that I haven't added sugar.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03'My mulled wine's sweetened by the dried fruit
0:32:03 > 0:32:06'that steeped in it overnight.'
0:32:06 > 0:32:10'Mulled wine has been associated with Christmas since at least 1843,
0:32:10 > 0:32:13'when it appeared in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol
0:32:13 > 0:32:17'under the rather off-putting name of the Smoking Bishop.'
0:32:17 > 0:32:19The other thing that's so lovely
0:32:19 > 0:32:22is having something in a big bowl that everyone shares.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24A punch is a wonderfully social thing to have.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29You are all coming together, sharing the same wine
0:32:29 > 0:32:31in a sort of sacramental way.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36That's amazing!
0:32:36 > 0:32:37That is really delicious.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40It doesn't taste like stinky old mulled wine.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I would go so far as to say that's the sort of thing
0:32:42 > 0:32:48Dickens was thinking of with the Smoking Bishop in A Christmas Carol.
0:32:48 > 0:32:49Look at that!
0:32:49 > 0:32:53I mean, that... Just the sheer action of this is delicious.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59Without the sugar, you really do get the almonds
0:32:59 > 0:33:01because there's an almond sweetness.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04I'm going to say that is a triumph. A ruddy triumph.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06- It is a ruddy triumph. - Yeah, good.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13'Our next drink is another winter warmer, a festive take on gin.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16'Something for the hipflask on your post-Christmas lunch walk.'
0:33:16 > 0:33:18'It's British ingenuity in a bottle.
0:33:18 > 0:33:22'How to take an inedible fruit and make it yummy?'
0:33:22 > 0:33:25'Why, soak it in gin and sugar, of course!'
0:33:25 > 0:33:27'It can only be sloe gin.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30'That'll make a change from a G&T for your auntie.'
0:33:30 > 0:33:34'First, we'll need some sloes, the fruit of the blackthorn bush,
0:33:34 > 0:33:36'usually harvested in the autumn.'
0:33:39 > 0:33:42So here we are. We've got our sloes. Some of them are green.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44Some have undressed.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Some have. Rather than pricking them, we've frozen these.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49In the thawing, that breaks the skins
0:33:49 > 0:33:55and you get this nice, pulpy effect to let the flesh get at the gin.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58The point is, we could not bother at all and just drink this.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00- HE SLURS:- I already have!
0:34:00 > 0:34:02- In that case, bung the sugar in. - OK. So, sugar.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07'The general rule of thumb is half the amount of sugar to sloes.
0:34:07 > 0:34:12'We're using 250g of sugar for 500g of sloes.'
0:34:12 > 0:34:14'And good quality London Dry gin.'
0:34:15 > 0:34:18I'm going to close that and give it a good shake.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21- Do you want to do some shaking? - Yeah.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24Basically, you just bung that away in a dark cupboard
0:34:24 > 0:34:26ideally for about six months
0:34:26 > 0:34:29and every time you remember, give it a shake.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32'Luckily, we don't have to wait six months.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34'Here's some we prepared earlier.'
0:34:34 > 0:34:36That's quite brown now.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38It's quite syrupy as well, isn't it?
0:34:38 > 0:34:41The smell's a bit like the inside of a cherry liqueur or something.
0:34:41 > 0:34:42Yeah, yeah.
0:34:46 > 0:34:47Mm.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Oh, that's delicious.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Oh, God, that is really good. It really does warm you up.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54The reason it's such a good Christmas drink is,
0:34:54 > 0:34:57from a growing point of view, it's a Spartan time of year.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59You make the most of the things you've got.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01You eat brassicas, sprouts and things
0:35:01 > 0:35:05and sloes are one of the only things you could have harvested
0:35:05 > 0:35:06at that time of year.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10It's a properly English thing. It's flavours of the hedgerow.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13It's a proper English, mid-winter, pagan drink.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18'Christmas is all about tradition,
0:35:18 > 0:35:21'so it's not often we get to try something brand-new.'
0:35:21 > 0:35:24If you've got any left after torching your pudding,
0:35:24 > 0:35:26here's something else to do with your brandy.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31We'll make a drink I've never made before and never had before.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35But only because I'm worried that once I've had it,
0:35:35 > 0:35:36I'll always want it.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38- We're talking, surely, about...- The eggnog.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Isn't it just a booze omelette in a glass?
0:35:40 > 0:35:43I'll talk you through this recipe. I want to see how well you do.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Two medium eggs, separate them.
0:35:45 > 0:35:49We want the yolks and the whites, so make sure you keep both.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53In a large bowl, beat the egg yolks and while you're doing that,
0:35:53 > 0:35:57I'll add the sugar. The Americans lay claim to eggnog, don't they?
0:35:57 > 0:35:58Their big Christmas drink.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Didn't your people used to own America? Slower! Slower!
0:36:01 > 0:36:04A tiny little bit that was granted to an ancestor of mine
0:36:04 > 0:36:06near Connecticut.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09He had the rights to all the lands to the West.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12My family weren't even allowed to own the patch of Poland
0:36:12 > 0:36:16on which they were regularly beaten while planting measly potatoes.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19We'll heat the milk to almost boiling.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22More sugar, your highness.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25I'm beating faster because of my proletariat rage.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28LAUGHTER
0:36:28 > 0:36:31I'll have a look at this milk... which is now steaming nicely.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34I think that is now pretty much ready.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38Stop! Stop! Have you got an apron of any kind?
0:36:38 > 0:36:40I'm so glad you said that, because I have.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44'The egg, sugar and milk mixture goes back on the heat with some
0:36:44 > 0:36:47'vanilla extract and a slug of brandy.'
0:36:47 > 0:36:50'The egg whites are whisked to soft peaks.'
0:36:50 > 0:36:52Fold the, er, egg whites.
0:36:52 > 0:36:53Fold in the...
0:36:54 > 0:36:57Fold in the egg whites.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00The next thing we have to do is whip this cream up.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05Think about something that makes you really angry.
0:37:05 > 0:37:06Fold that in.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10It's a lovely thick mixture.
0:37:10 > 0:37:11- Now...- Yep!
0:37:11 > 0:37:15Look at that! Look at... Oh, my God! That looks delicious!
0:37:15 > 0:37:17It sounds yummy as well.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19There we are.
0:37:19 > 0:37:20- Mm!- Mm!
0:37:20 > 0:37:22Aw! Look at that! Aw!
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Can I have some nutmeg on my eggnog?
0:37:24 > 0:37:25Yes, you can.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34I hate to say, that's delicious.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37Yes. We need to find a place for it in the Christmas calendar
0:37:37 > 0:37:39which is not between the turkey and...
0:37:39 > 0:37:42It goes on for 12 days, so we need something...
0:37:42 > 0:37:45perhaps this is for day five or day six
0:37:45 > 0:37:47when you don't fancy eating anything at all.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51But, come drink time, maybe you fancy a whole day's nutrients...
0:37:51 > 0:37:52So it's a meal substitute.
0:37:52 > 0:37:56Like a protein drink that body builders take but with booze in.
0:37:56 > 0:37:58But with booze in.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00The eggnog was something of a revelation
0:38:00 > 0:38:03but our next drink is more of a festive staple.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05And it's probably the big-money one for most of us.
0:38:05 > 0:38:10It's the drink that gives Christmas its sparkle - champagne.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Or sparkling wine, anyway.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16Nothing really says Christmas to me more than that mad dash
0:38:16 > 0:38:19around a department store with an hour-and-a-half to buy
0:38:19 > 0:38:2250 presents and you're in a sweat.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24A great part of Christmas.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28Look at this! I think there's just about enough champagne in there
0:38:28 > 0:38:29for Giles and me.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34'I need to find a fizz that'll pop Giles's cork.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38'I'm enlisting the help of Dawn Davies, the wine buyer here.'
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Dawn!- Hi.- Hello. Alexander.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43Now, here's the deal.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46I'm looking for quite nice champagne. Not stupid.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48I'm not going nuts.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49Kind of non-vintage.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- OK.- But I know Giley's going to try to find something
0:38:52 > 0:38:55from the more sensible end.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59'Predictably, Xander's going for some over-priced French muck.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01'But I've got something more original in my sights.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04'A home-grown sparkling wine from this vineyard in Kent.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08'Chief executive Ben Walgate's giving me a tour.'
0:39:08 > 0:39:11What's so good about Kent for growing wine?
0:39:11 > 0:39:14Kent's good for growing fruit. It's well known...
0:39:14 > 0:39:16You know, garden of England.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20But much of south-east England has been very successful
0:39:20 > 0:39:23in producing top quality champagne fruit.
0:39:23 > 0:39:27I think it's a combination of choosing great south-facing
0:39:27 > 0:39:29sites at low elevation like this with great soil.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Is the soil chalky?
0:39:31 > 0:39:35One sees the white cliffs of Dover and assumes it's all on chalk.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38The Cote de Blanc in Champagne is famous for being
0:39:38 > 0:39:41a chalk soil, producing great Chardonnay.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44We have chalk soils that share the same make-up.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48- Comparable with the champagne regions of France?- Yes.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51How do your growing conditions here compare with Epinee,
0:39:51 > 0:39:53where champagne comes from?
0:39:53 > 0:39:56In terms of temperature, we're achieving now the levels of ripeness
0:39:56 > 0:39:59they were getting 10-15 years ago in Champagne.
0:39:59 > 0:40:00Things are moving.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03- The world's getting warmer. - A subtle change. One degree...
0:40:03 > 0:40:07Did you like how the sun came out as I said the world's getting warmer?!
0:40:07 > 0:40:11- So we're profiting from global warming?- We are.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14'No need for wellies in the West End. Shop smart, I say.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19'Champagne can be made from three different types of grapes.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23'Pinot noir, pinot meunier and chardonnay.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26'In vintage champagne, the grapes are from the same year,
0:40:26 > 0:40:29'but non-vintage is a blend of different wines
0:40:29 > 0:40:31'from different years.'
0:40:33 > 0:40:36The best thing about non-vintage is that it's very consistent
0:40:36 > 0:40:38year on year, so a lot of people go for brands
0:40:38 > 0:40:42because they like the knowledge that it tastes the same every year.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45'Most of the champagne we buy is non-vintage.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48'It's the mix of grapes that accounts for the difference in taste
0:40:48 > 0:40:50'between one brand and another.'
0:40:50 > 0:40:53The first one I'll recommend is our own-label champagne.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55This is 70% pinot noir.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57- That'll go nicely with smoked salmon.- Absolutely.
0:40:57 > 0:40:59The second one is 100% chardonnay.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01A blanc de blancs. Yeah, right.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03100%. You know your stuff!
0:41:03 > 0:41:07'It's worth looking at champagne made by smaller producers.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09'They're less famous but these vineyards,
0:41:09 > 0:41:13'known as grower-producers, often supply the big names with grapes
0:41:13 > 0:41:17'for their non-vintage champagne, whilst also making their own.'
0:41:17 > 0:41:21I'm a really big fan of what we call grower champagnes.
0:41:21 > 0:41:25A lot of the big houses, they've got to buy in a lot of their grapes.
0:41:25 > 0:41:30At some point, you cannot make good wine from bad grapes.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33So those with most control in the vineyards are going to make
0:41:33 > 0:41:35some really interesting things.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38My great-uncle was the first person to bring this over in quantity.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42- He used to run Metzendorff. - Aah! Very interesting!
0:41:42 > 0:41:43My great-uncle Tim.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46'Xander's got a woman doing the work for him,
0:41:46 > 0:41:48'but I'll help some women do theirs.'
0:41:48 > 0:41:52I want to introduce Ann and Rita, long-standing Gusbourne pickers.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- Hello, ladies.- Hello! - Do you come here every season?
0:41:55 > 0:41:58- We've been coming here five years. - Yes.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Is that your best chat-up line?
0:42:00 > 0:42:04No, I'm biding my time, waiting till you leave us alone.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08I hate to pander to cliches or anything, but hard agricultural
0:42:08 > 0:42:13labour in fields I tend to think of as a young man's job.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16We are early 70s, so if we can do it, you can do it.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22- That one's good enough to go?- Yes.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25- You just throw them? - No, you put them in gently.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28You're a local lady, you must be proud?
0:42:28 > 0:42:31We are. It was used at the Palace.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34I think the Duchess of Cornwall likes it.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37She's very patriotic. The whole family.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40They're all supportive of English things.
0:42:40 > 0:42:41So that's good, isn't it?
0:42:41 > 0:42:44'We've only been making sparkling wine in Britain for a couple
0:42:44 > 0:42:48'of decades, but already we're giving the French a run for their money.'
0:42:48 > 0:42:51'But French champagne doesn't have to be as expensive as you might
0:42:51 > 0:42:54'think, if you aren't bothered about what's on the label.'
0:42:55 > 0:42:57- This is your house champagne. - It is.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00It's always a good tip to go for house champagne,
0:43:00 > 0:43:02because the wine buyers at supermarkets
0:43:02 > 0:43:04are always incredibly well-informed
0:43:04 > 0:43:07and they always know what the good things are to go for.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10And, interesting, this made predominantly from red grapes.
0:43:10 > 0:43:15- The colour of the grapes comes from the skins...- Sure.- ..it doesn't actually come from the pulp.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17So if it's pressed very, very gently
0:43:17 > 0:43:20and not left in contact with the skins, you can keep that pale colour
0:43:20 > 0:43:23without any tinges of red or rose.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25'Oh, what a treat! Three delicious champagnes
0:43:25 > 0:43:27'and all remarkably different
0:43:27 > 0:43:31'but, somewhat boringly, I'm going with the old family favourite.'
0:43:31 > 0:43:33It is absolutely delicious. I'm delighted with that.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35- We should cheers to that. - Yeah, cheers to that.
0:43:35 > 0:43:41'So there's a surprise. He's bought the same thing he always does.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44'Time to taste the fruits of Ann and Rita's labours.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47'The first is a 2008 brut reserve
0:43:47 > 0:43:50'made from all three kinds of champagne grapes.'
0:43:54 > 0:43:56I always put my hand here for tasting, do you not find?
0:43:56 > 0:43:58I see you've got... I like to...
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Try to avoid that, if I can.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03- So, what do you think? - That's amazing.
0:44:03 > 0:44:04Can you tell, when you taste it,
0:44:04 > 0:44:08that it's had three-and-a-half years maturing on its lees?
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Yeah, no, I'd have said more like three years...seven months,
0:44:11 > 0:44:13probably, on the lees.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15'The next is made only from chardonnay grapes.'
0:44:15 > 0:44:18What to expect from the blanc de blancs?
0:44:18 > 0:44:23Is there a way of pronouncing blanc de blancs that that doesn't make you sound like Del Boy Trotter?
0:44:23 > 0:44:25"Blong de blong"? Yeah, exactly.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28It's a bit dodgy, isn't it?
0:44:28 > 0:44:31- Now, it's a greener colour, isn't it? - Yeah.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Good blanc de blancs tend to be quite racy, lemony, fresh.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37It's got real purity and minerality about it, as well.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Bleugh!
0:44:39 > 0:44:41No, I'm kidding, it's really nice.
0:44:41 > 0:44:47OK, so, we're going to taste our rose. This is 2010.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50You should get some subtle red fruits.
0:44:50 > 0:44:51But is that just an illusion
0:44:51 > 0:44:54when you think you can get strawberries and stuff?
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Exactly the same compounds that you get in a strawberry.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00It's triggering the same recognition in your olfactory...
0:45:00 > 0:45:04It's not just the pinkness that's trig... Ooh, maybe that's nicer.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10But I'm looking for a big, exciting sparkling wine experience
0:45:10 > 0:45:12for Christmas. And I have a brother-in-law
0:45:12 > 0:45:17who is a lavish man of great bounty and loves a proper, muscly,
0:45:17 > 0:45:20old-fashioned French champagne, and - frankly - this one,
0:45:20 > 0:45:23the first one that we tried, that's got more kind of muscle
0:45:23 > 0:45:25and tradition and heft behind it.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28Much better than anything I've ever had from France and
0:45:28 > 0:45:30I think your brut reserve is just...
0:45:30 > 0:45:31That's my Christmas winner.
0:45:32 > 0:45:37'Ho-ho! Fighting talk, Giley. But is it a Christmas winner?'
0:45:37 > 0:45:39Now, some would say this is the most important drink,
0:45:39 > 0:45:42the central drink of the whole season - champagne.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45For our Christmas, I'd say this is probably the drink of Christmas Day,
0:45:45 > 0:45:48- Christmas Day morning.- All but the finest champagne is quite acidic
0:45:48 > 0:45:52and quite fizzy and it's quite burpy and unless you have something in,
0:45:52 > 0:45:54you can't just throw it down on toast and marmalade.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56OK, and you've brought along something...
0:45:56 > 0:45:58As I would always bring to your house,
0:45:58 > 0:46:01- proper smoked salmon, you want proper Jewish smoked salmon.- Lox?- Yes.
0:46:01 > 0:46:03My father always reckoned it should
0:46:03 > 0:46:05be caught by an Englishman in Scotland,
0:46:05 > 0:46:07but then smoked by a Jew. It's just more delicate,
0:46:07 > 0:46:10you get a fattier product and it goes really well with champagne.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Suddenly...you need champagne.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20'No argument about the salmon
0:46:20 > 0:46:22'but what will we make of each other's fizz?'
0:46:22 > 0:46:25'Xander's gone for something French and expensive
0:46:25 > 0:46:28'but I've backed a British bargain.'
0:46:28 > 0:46:32I've basically chosen an English sparkling wine
0:46:32 > 0:46:35which is made exactly the same way as champagne. It is vintage, it's about
0:46:35 > 0:46:38£25 a bottle, I think,
0:46:38 > 0:46:40which is what the cheapest non-vintage French stuff costs.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43- Yeah, yeah.- This is the 2008.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51All around the front of the tongue - big old fruit,
0:46:51 > 0:46:54sort of wham round the chops with a nice Chardonnay taste
0:46:54 > 0:46:56- at the front there.- It's appley.
0:46:56 > 0:46:57It's appley.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01- It's five years old...- That is delicious.- Still got all its fruit.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05You have chosen excellently there. I think that is absolutely fantastic.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08OK, now, I have gone for the best, I consider,
0:47:08 > 0:47:12of the non-vintage champagnes, it's the Bollinger Special Cuvee.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15You see, that is one that is actually quite hard to compete against.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Obviously it's delicious, but it's twice as expensive.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20I mean, it's delicious, that really is very good.
0:47:20 > 0:47:22It's a very good non-vintage champagne
0:47:22 > 0:47:24and you can absolutely guarantee that that's going
0:47:24 > 0:47:28to taste delicious, but taste them side by side -
0:47:28 > 0:47:30you've got so much more character in the Gusbourne.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Just because it's Christmas, just because it's a festive time of year,
0:47:34 > 0:47:37when a dwindling number of people are really celebrating the birth of Christ
0:47:37 > 0:47:40and more people are just having a good old party time
0:47:40 > 0:47:43in the middle of winter, then you've got to celebrate something
0:47:43 > 0:47:47- and I think you can be celebrating Britishness.- I congratulate you on that, I think that's brilliant.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49'Victory is mine.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53'My home-grown sparkling wine was half the price of Xander's champagne,
0:47:53 > 0:47:54'a triumph.'
0:47:54 > 0:47:57'That fizz is so delicious, though, we might find ourselves in need
0:47:57 > 0:48:01'of an entirely different sort of drink the morning after.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03'A Boxing Day curative, if you see what I'm saying,
0:48:03 > 0:48:05'to make it all better.'
0:48:05 > 0:48:11'But whose hangover cure will hit the spot? I'm championing the Bull Shot.'
0:48:11 > 0:48:13- I like to float an egg yolk on it. - Oh, God!
0:48:13 > 0:48:16I'm fairly certain that used to be done and I might be wrong.
0:48:16 > 0:48:17It's basically a man's drink.
0:48:17 > 0:48:21It's men like Marlon Brando, Joan Crawford...
0:48:21 > 0:48:25You know, proper, hard-drinking dead people like Hemingway
0:48:25 > 0:48:30and Fitzgerald. They knew that if you wanted to get absolutely hammered
0:48:30 > 0:48:32and then bring yourself round again in the morning,
0:48:32 > 0:48:35and live to the ripe-old age of 42,
0:48:35 > 0:48:37the thing to do was to have a Bull Shot in the morning.
0:48:37 > 0:48:40'A Bull Shot is made with vodka, beef consomme,
0:48:40 > 0:48:41'Tabasco and Worcester sauce.
0:48:44 > 0:48:48'The finishing touch is an egg yolk for a protein hit.'
0:48:48 > 0:48:50- And then down in one.- Yeah.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52- Merry Boxing Day. - Merry Boxing Day to you.
0:48:59 > 0:49:02- Did you break your egg? - I did, yeah.
0:49:02 > 0:49:07- I'm glad.- What do you feel about the drink you just had?
0:49:07 > 0:49:09I tell you what, my day can only get better.
0:49:10 > 0:49:12I think this is an altogether better drink.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15We know it quite well, it's the Bloody Mary.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19- I'm going to go one part vodka to two parts tomato juice.- OK.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21We're making quite a big jug of this
0:49:21 > 0:49:23because obviously there are two of us.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25'Everyone's got their own recipe for a Bloody Mary,
0:49:25 > 0:49:29'but mine has beef consomme, Fino sherry
0:49:29 > 0:49:33'and horseradish, as well as all the usual ingredients.'
0:49:33 > 0:49:34Talk among yourselves.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Shall we plug a bit of celery in there? Go on.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41It's quite cool on the side of my slightly hung-over temple.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43That is a sensation, isn't it?
0:49:43 > 0:49:45It's like having a sort of green dancing girl kissing your ear
0:49:45 > 0:49:47while you have a drink.
0:49:47 > 0:49:50Look, there isn't any competition at all. Roll on Boxing Day.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52- I'll drink this stuff.- Brilliant.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56'We've got our hangover cure, so we should settle on our wine.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58'Now, we went to great lengths
0:49:58 > 0:50:00'to find the contenders for Christmas lunch.
0:50:00 > 0:50:03'Well, I did, anyway. I crossed the Channel.
0:50:03 > 0:50:07'But there's only one way to find out which wine will win it -
0:50:07 > 0:50:09'taste them with the turkey.'
0:50:09 > 0:50:12'Selfless research for the greater good, Giley.'
0:50:14 > 0:50:17A lot of unnecessary guff is talked about matching wine,
0:50:17 > 0:50:19as if there were a billion flavours of wine,
0:50:19 > 0:50:21and for most people there's a handful.
0:50:21 > 0:50:24I went to Calais, because Christmas at yours,
0:50:24 > 0:50:26usually there's delicious claret on the table.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28I've worked on the principle that
0:50:28 > 0:50:30the French have kept the best stuff for themselves.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32You can go to French supermarkets
0:50:32 > 0:50:35- and find really quite nice wines, inexpensively.- Oh, can you?
0:50:35 > 0:50:38- Yes, you can! - Then I invite you to try this.
0:50:38 > 0:50:42Chateau Sociando-Mallet coming in at only a shade under £20.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44- Now, what are you getting there? - That's 2011?
0:50:44 > 0:50:46I think in 2021 that might be quite nice.
0:50:46 > 0:50:50You don't want to drink too much and if you're going to drink only a few units,
0:50:50 > 0:50:52you want to watch your units at our age.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55You might as well make them nice units. That's my thing.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58If I'm being entirely honest, I'd see that as a waste of unit.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01Now, do you want to try this?
0:51:01 > 0:51:05- OK.- I've gone for a Lebanese wine, Chateau Musar. I mean...
0:51:05 > 0:51:07How much would this cost?
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Well, the trouble is we've had to buy it now, you know.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12So you're buying a vintage wine to drink now.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14- You're going...- Don't make excuses, how much money...?
0:51:14 > 0:51:16- It's 52 quid!- 52 quid.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20I would say the answer probably lies somewhere between these, actually.
0:51:20 > 0:51:21I think this was probably...
0:51:21 > 0:51:24This was a step too far. I think that's good.
0:51:24 > 0:51:28It shows that throwing money at the problem wasn't going to win.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31'So, a goalless draw on the wine for lunch, then.'
0:51:31 > 0:51:34'Though I consider that a moral victory.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37'Generally speaking, claret is a good fit for Christmas dinner.'
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Wa-hey! That's perfectly... - That's not bad.- That's wonderfully...
0:51:40 > 0:51:42'Next, wine of the fortified kind.
0:51:42 > 0:51:46'Port comes from Slovenia. No, it doesn't, it come from Portugal
0:51:46 > 0:51:49'and it's a festive institution with Stilton.'
0:51:49 > 0:51:53'It's wine that's fortified with brandy before it has finished fermenting.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56'The brandy kills off the yeast, so not all the grapes' sugar
0:51:56 > 0:52:00'turns to alcohol, which is why it's sweet.'
0:52:00 > 0:52:03Well, let's be honest, I think there'll probably only be two people
0:52:03 > 0:52:06round our table who'll be remotely interested in the port, that's us.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09- So, erm...- We're trying to find something to go with our Stilton, aren't we?
0:52:09 > 0:52:14- We're looking for something to go with...- Listen, let's wham some of that on our- ..a blue veiny cheese.
0:52:14 > 0:52:18Wine to drink with cheese is hard, particularly blue cheese. People love to drink...
0:52:18 > 0:52:21English people love to drink red wine with cheese and they just don't go.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24I think it brings out all the tannins in a really bad way. You really want sweet stuff.
0:52:24 > 0:52:27We have the 20-year-old tawny port.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30It sounds nice.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33- That smells Christmassy.- I mean, that's really quite a...
0:52:35 > 0:52:38Yes, it does have that cheap, nasty "nyaigh" to it, doesn't it?
0:52:38 > 0:52:40- I actually quite like it!- Right!
0:52:40 > 0:52:44Now, the late-bottled vintage spends a long time in cask,
0:52:44 > 0:52:45then it goes into the bottle,
0:52:45 > 0:52:48but it doesn't really mature in the bottle beyond that.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53I'm not really convinced by the late-bottled vintage,
0:52:53 > 0:52:54I'm sorry to say.
0:52:54 > 0:52:58I think we're going to press on and try the 1996 vintage.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00See...
0:53:00 > 0:53:04Now, what we're hoping is that this being the...
0:53:04 > 0:53:07Unquestionably, the poshest of these ports will be the nicest.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10Mmm!
0:53:10 > 0:53:13It's got a treacly, charcoaly sort of a flavour.
0:53:13 > 0:53:17Has it? Exactly. I'm quite reassured, that is really good.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18Thank God.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20'Vintage port it is.'
0:53:20 > 0:53:24'Just like wine and champagne, vintage port is made from the grapes
0:53:24 > 0:53:28'of the year on the bottle, rather than a blend of different wines.'
0:53:28 > 0:53:31'You can get your hands on one this age for about £35.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34'We've been drinking port since the 17th century,
0:53:34 > 0:53:36'which is why many of the producers are British.'
0:53:36 > 0:53:39'A tradition well worth continuing.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42'Like we need any more booze at this point on Christmas Day,
0:53:42 > 0:53:44'let's have a look at something we all have
0:53:44 > 0:53:46'at the back of the drinks cupboard.'
0:53:46 > 0:53:48'It's the sticky issue of liqueurs.'
0:53:48 > 0:53:51So, basically, the rationale for a Christmas liqueur
0:53:51 > 0:53:55is that it's so awful, you'd only want to drink it once a year.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58If then. Do you know what? This used to be made of avocado pears.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00That's why it's called advocaat?
0:54:00 > 0:54:03No longer, that's not avocado, they now make it with egg yolk.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Have a bit of that.
0:54:05 > 0:54:06It's basically liquid cake.
0:54:06 > 0:54:10- Wash your mouth out with a cleansing Baileys.- OK.
0:54:13 > 0:54:17- That's good eating. - There's no arguing with that.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20It's delicious. I mean, that's the most fantastic pudding.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23- There's some arguing with THAT, I think.- Ah!
0:54:23 > 0:54:25- Drambuie.- Yeah.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29- It tastes medicinal.- It has a, erm...
0:54:29 > 0:54:32Yeah, it definitely tastes like a sort of cough mixture,
0:54:32 > 0:54:35- a kind of Fisherman's Friend. - Cointreau.
0:54:37 > 0:54:41I have to be honest, that's...only going to be good in a cocktail.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Let's have some of this fine drink, here - limoncello.
0:54:45 > 0:54:46Eugh!
0:54:46 > 0:54:49So, all these old favourites brought out from the dusty recesses
0:54:49 > 0:54:52of my drinks cupboard.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55We've gone for the one we knew we were going to go for, haven't we?
0:54:55 > 0:54:57- The delicious... - The Irish cream liqueur.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00- Mm-mm-mm.- OK, there we go.- Cheers.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08'There's only one drink to go in our Christmas dozen.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11'The wassail bowl of hot cider punch.'
0:55:11 > 0:55:15'Sadly, we won't be making it with the apples we squashed ourselves.
0:55:15 > 0:55:18'Our cider isn't ready yet.'
0:55:18 > 0:55:20So now we're going to fill our fantastic wassail bowl
0:55:20 > 0:55:23that you see there, which was turned from a single piece of sycamore.
0:55:23 > 0:55:26You know, wassailing is like a...
0:55:26 > 0:55:28It's a synonym for having a good time at Christmas.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30The Tennyson poem the Morte d'Arthur,
0:55:30 > 0:55:33they all gather round the wassail bowl, and we're going to fill
0:55:33 > 0:55:36the wassail bowl with a lovely, mulled, warmed cider drink.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39- How many of these bottles are we putting in there? - We need two litres.
0:55:39 > 0:55:43'We're using a traditional scrumpy-style cider with cloves,
0:55:43 > 0:55:46'nutmeg, cinnamon and some sugar.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51'Long ago, when people went wassailing
0:55:51 > 0:55:54'to ask their lord for Christmas hospitality
0:55:54 > 0:55:58'they'd sing so they wouldn't be mistaken for beggars.'
0:55:58 > 0:56:00# We wish you a merry Christmas
0:56:00 > 0:56:02# We wish you a merry Christmas... #
0:56:02 > 0:56:05'Things got rowdy if they didn't get what they wanted.
0:56:05 > 0:56:08'That's where the carol We Wish You A Merry Christmas comes from.'
0:56:08 > 0:56:10# Good tidings we bring to you and your king
0:56:10 > 0:56:14# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year... #
0:56:14 > 0:56:17'The modern-day equivalents of wassailers
0:56:17 > 0:56:20'are in fine voice and they're probably thirsty.
0:56:20 > 0:56:22'I tell you, it's not figgy pudding they're after.'
0:56:23 > 0:56:25You try it.
0:56:27 > 0:56:31- Looks like a beef consomme. - Oh, that is good. That's delicious.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34That is delicious. It's really lovely,
0:56:34 > 0:56:38- it would go really nicely with a mince pie or something like that. - Yeah.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41'Better dish out the booze. They won't go until they've got some.'
0:56:41 > 0:56:43# We wish you a merry Christmas
0:56:43 > 0:56:45# We wish you a merry Christmas
0:56:45 > 0:56:49# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52# Good tidings we bring
0:56:52 > 0:56:54# To you and your king
0:56:54 > 0:56:58# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year
0:56:58 > 0:57:00# We won't go until we've got some
0:57:00 > 0:57:02# We won't go until we've got some
0:57:02 > 0:57:07# We won't go until we've got some So bring some out here
0:57:07 > 0:57:11# Good tidings we bring To you and your king
0:57:11 > 0:57:15# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. #
0:57:17 > 0:57:20There we are. Thank you very, very much, everyone.
0:57:20 > 0:57:21That was wonderful.
0:57:25 > 0:57:29Ah! Thank you all so much. A very happy Christmas to you all.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31ALL: Happy Christmas!
0:57:31 > 0:57:33- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:57:35 > 0:57:41Well, Giles, the fire is crackling in the grate, the halls are decked.
0:57:41 > 0:57:43All is safely gathered in.
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Do you know what is good about it this year?
0:57:45 > 0:57:49We've actually, for once, we've really got a proper schedule of booze.
0:57:49 > 0:57:52Yes, for once we're not just going to get drunk
0:57:52 > 0:57:53on whatever happens to be at hand.
0:57:53 > 0:57:57And we've had so much fun just putting these things together.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00We've got 12 drinks at Christmas, 12 little miracles.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03Normally, Christmas is just a bit of a blur,
0:58:03 > 0:58:04there isn't proper structure to it.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07The only day that has any structure is Christmas Day,
0:58:07 > 0:58:11but this year I think we can differentiate a bit. We can...
0:58:11 > 0:58:15I think that by having 12 drinks into which so much thought has been put,
0:58:15 > 0:58:17it's going to end up a blur.
0:58:17 > 0:58:19I think it's bedtime now. Good night.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24- Happy Christmas.- Happy Christmas.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28- Good night, Giley. - Night-night, Xander.
0:58:28 > 0:58:30Happy Christmas.