0:00:02 > 0:00:06Hello and welcome to A Taste Of My Life, the show that dishes up people's lives on a plate.
0:00:26 > 0:00:30Food is an incredibly personal and revealing way of travelling back in time.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35Every single thing we eat and cook tells us something about who we are,
0:00:35 > 0:00:39which is why I'm going to be taking today's guest back down memory lane.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Now today's very special guest,
0:00:41 > 0:00:44his big breakthrough was playing a vile out-of-work actor
0:00:44 > 0:00:48in a film that was to become an enormous cult classic.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Look at that. Look at that, "Accident black spot."
0:00:51 > 0:00:53These aren't accidents.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56They're throwing themselves into the road gladly!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59In fact, there's no one best way to describe him,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03other then unique, colourful and more than a little eccentric.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Oh, that's the right upbringing for bread.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Slice your loaf thinly and let your spices breathe.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16He recently put the story of his traumatic childhood
0:01:16 > 0:01:18on the silver screen.
0:01:18 > 0:01:23Yes, today's guest is, of course, the wonderful Richard E Grant.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25And coming up in today's show -
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Richard sniffs
0:01:27 > 0:01:28and sniffs
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and sniffs his way back down memory lane.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Comedienne Meera Syal throws down the gauntlet
0:01:35 > 0:01:37for Richard E Grant, the chef.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40For your Indian friends, try vegetable biryani.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43And Richard's wife invites us to their place
0:01:43 > 0:01:44for an unusual breakfast.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48He tends to gag or hold his nose while he eats it.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Richard E Grant, welcome to A Taste Of My Life.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Thank you, Nigel, for inviting me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- You were born in Swaziland.- Yes.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05And, I mean, was it a sort of very traditional colonial family?
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Yes, because there were the three Bs.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12The three tenets of colonial life were boredom, booze and bonking,
0:02:12 > 0:02:17of which my family was in the front of the queue for that.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- I mean, Mum cooked at home or... - No.- Who cooked?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23No, no, no, we had... We had servants.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- You had servants?- Yep, yep we did. The colonial shame of...
0:02:27 > 0:02:32You know, you live as a colonialist in a very sort of feudal 19th century kind of way.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36The tradition was that colonial wives taught the cook
0:02:36 > 0:02:40to make seven meals for the seven days of the week,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42so you knew that on Sunday it would be roast beef,
0:02:42 > 0:02:47Monday roast chicken, Tuesday lamb, Wednesday shepherd's pie,
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Thursday, erm...
0:02:49 > 0:02:52..pork! Friday you would have fish.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56So incredibly English meals, absolute traditional British food,
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- in the sweltering heat...- Yeah.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00Being cooked by somebody who actually,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- it was quite alien food to them? - Completely alien food.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Are there any particular dishes you remember,
0:03:05 > 0:03:09I suppose, with a sort of fondness that, you know,
0:03:09 > 0:03:11if you taste them or you smell them again,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13they might actually take you back there?
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Shepherd's pie, just very traditional things, really.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23It's nursery food, it's traditional nursery food
0:03:23 > 0:03:26and it's actually what I call proper food. That's proper food.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30And what do you make the meat base out of?
0:03:30 > 0:03:36Well, I was told lamb for shepherd's pie and then cottage pie was beef,
0:03:36 > 0:03:41because if you could afford a cottage you could afford beef. That was the idea.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45The knack to my shepherd's pie is in preparing the filling.
0:03:45 > 0:03:51Take your time and let the meat cook slowly for maximum flavour.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55The way I make a shepherd's pie is slightly different, because I sometimes put parsnip
0:03:55 > 0:03:59in the mash with the potato, it's more or less the same,
0:03:59 > 0:04:04but it's even more sort of wintry and British.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13- I'm sure I can offer you some shepherd's pie?- Yes, you can.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- Why is it yellow? - The topping is parsnip.
0:04:17 > 0:04:22I love shepherd's pie as it is, you know, the big classic sort of thing that Mum makes.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26I know mother wasn't around for long, I mean, until you were sort of, what?
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- Ten.- Ten?- Yep.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32What sort of relationship did you have, was it very loving or...?
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Can I start eating?- Yes, please do.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40It was... I think that she was not someone you could disagree with.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43If mum said it,
0:04:43 > 0:04:44then you did it.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49Definitely. And I would always argue with... Oh, this is very good.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Delicious. I could argue with my dad about things,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56but not really my mum. What about you?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58She was the warm and fuzzy one.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- She was?- Dad was the scary one, yeah.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02It was the reverse in my family.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I've written and directed a film about my growing-up years, called Wah-Wah,
0:05:11 > 0:05:15set at the end of the Sixties, in which the first scene
0:05:15 > 0:05:18is me waking up at the age of ten on the back seat of a car,
0:05:18 > 0:05:22inadvertently witnessing my mother bonking my father's best friend.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27So they then had a very, very acrimonious divorce, and that really
0:05:27 > 0:05:31plunged my father into chronic alcoholism.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36He became an extremely...abusive and violent alcoholic by night,
0:05:36 > 0:05:42whilst being incredibly charming, provocative, funny and witty by day.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46There's a scene in the middle of the film where - Gabriel Byrne plays him
0:05:46 > 0:05:50in the film so brilliantly - I emptied a crate of his Scotch whiskey
0:05:50 > 0:05:53out because I thought this would get rid of the stash in the house.
0:05:53 > 0:05:58He took a gun to my head, missed and then turned it on himself,
0:05:58 > 0:06:01missed again, passed out, blacked-out,
0:06:01 > 0:06:05next day had no memory whatsoever and then suffered terrible remorse.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08So I think that if you see somebody under the influence
0:06:08 > 0:06:13of whatever drug they're on, you know that that is not who they really are, so you forgive everything.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15The awful thing with that is that,
0:06:15 > 0:06:20and I suppose it's the perfect psychological background to be
0:06:20 > 0:06:25an actor, is that when he was drunk he would say those terrible things
0:06:25 > 0:06:32and when you get a critical drubbing, and somebody says, "Well, you're all these things,"
0:06:32 > 0:06:34that is...it reminds you of all of that,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37as though it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41You say, "Well, he was right, because that's what he said to me when I was 15."
0:06:41 > 0:06:46And when you read the critics you think, "Well, they obviously know something he knew too."
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- What about puddings, were there any puddings?- Rhubarb crumble.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Yeah, rhubarb crumble. Apple crumble, all of those things.
0:06:54 > 0:07:00The secret to a good rhubarb crumble is that there should be nothing flashy about it.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02It's just a strange picture I'm getting,
0:07:04 > 0:07:07of this totally different climate and different life
0:07:07 > 0:07:10and everyone sitting round eating Northern stodge.
0:07:10 > 0:07:16Yeah, sub-tropical on Christmas Day and people would be very drunk by the time the Queen's speech
0:07:16 > 0:07:19came on the radio, hot turkey and all of that and sweltering heat.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32I was always told that I couldn't eat just before a meal,
0:07:32 > 0:07:39and so one of the great things about being an adult is that I just eat all day long, whenever I can.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Oh, that smells fantastic!
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Can the viewers see how delicious this is?
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I love tropical fruits, because I never had them. Thank you.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52I never had them. I didn't see a mango till I was about... Thank you.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- You had a deprived childhood? - No, I just didn't see a mango.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59I mean, a lot happened emotionally in very few years.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02In a way, that could have upset you so much...
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- That I should be a twitching mess? - Yes.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10- And that's simply hasn't happened. - Well, I was angry for a long time. - Yeah.- And then I had...
0:08:10 > 0:08:16I went to a brilliant psychoanalyst when I was 42 for 18 months,
0:08:16 > 0:08:21because I said all my road maps were all messed up, and he fixed me up.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I'm interested to know what you're like to cook for.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31A pain in the BEEP, because
0:08:31 > 0:08:35I don't drink milk, alcohol, I don't really like...
0:08:35 > 0:08:40apart from a little bit of Parmesan cheese, I don't really like cheese very much.
0:08:40 > 0:08:46So there are all sorts of things that I don't like eating, and that makes me annoying to cook for.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- There's a big no list of "Can't do this..."- There's a big no list.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52- I've got a little surprise for you. - What, guts and offal?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56No, much, much nicer than that, I promise you. Much nicer.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58OK. Oh my God.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Wow. Oh my God.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I'm going to make Richard's breakfast
0:09:11 > 0:09:15and he eats the same thing every morning, winter or summer.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19He eats porridge, because it keeps him going.
0:09:19 > 0:09:25Actually, he's a really quirky eater, so he has a small amount of porridge to get the bowels going.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28He actually absolutely hates it.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33He detests it, so he has nuts and raisins in his porridge.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37So he's got quite, I think he's got quite a strong sense of smell,
0:09:37 > 0:09:40he tends to gag or hold his nose while he eats it.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42It takes about two minutes.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45I put it on my Aga.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47So it's pretty basic, pretty peasant food.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51So it's going to be ready in just a minute.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54So we have some fresh fruit, like stewed apricots or...
0:09:54 > 0:09:58He hates prunes, so not prunes.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00But he has some sort of...
0:10:00 > 0:10:04fresh fruit in it, strawberries, apricots, whatever,
0:10:04 > 0:10:07just to soften the blow of the porridge, really.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10He likes it really runny,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12if I make it too thick,
0:10:12 > 0:10:18he dilutes it with more juice, not water.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23Very famously sticks his nose in everything he eats,
0:10:23 > 0:10:28and he has actually, in the past, he's had his face pushed into food
0:10:28 > 0:10:34by surprised people, or people look at him rather worried, often, when we go out,
0:10:34 > 0:10:38because they worry in case he thinks their food is off.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42I think the sense of smell is the most important thing to him,
0:10:42 > 0:10:46because he says it brings up all the memories of everything.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51And it's true, instantly you smell something, you're immediately taken back to a place.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Right, so that's it.
0:10:54 > 0:10:59- And then, on top of that... - SHE LAUGHS
0:10:59 > 0:11:03this is why I have no milk, I suppose, on top of that he has cranberry juice.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06So that's basically what it looks like.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10Richard would eat his breakfast over here.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13It looks a bit like vomit, doesn't it?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15So this is where he eats his breakfast.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19How did you bribe her to get in the house? I'm amazed she let you in.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20That's what he likes.
0:11:20 > 0:11:27I think it will be a big surprise that I've let anybody into the home, actually, apart from anything else.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31But he's eaten his porridge in front of other people.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35But I think he'll be surprised to see breakfast, definitely.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Richard, just make sure you eat whatever Nigel serves up and also
0:11:39 > 0:11:44just, I beg you as I do every single day, please don't eat too quickly.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Give yourself time to taste the food, darling.
0:11:51 > 0:11:5323 years she's put up with me.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Really, it's a miracle.
0:11:55 > 0:12:01I can't believe I'm sitting here watching my wife having cooked breakfast on your show.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02This is what you've reproduced here.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08So this is exactly it, oats and your beloved raisins.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Yeah, raisins, make everything go down.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- And cranberry juice.- Yeah.
0:12:12 > 0:12:18- Now, I love porridge, but I like my porridge, I have to say, oats and water.- It's revolting.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Why do you say it's revolting? - Ah, because...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- It isn't?- No, it's not.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I've got used to it. I really...
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I enjoy being...
0:12:29 > 0:12:32married and having found the right person enormously.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35It's the most important thing in my whole life.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39Still to come on A Taste Of My Life: Richard and I grapple with
0:12:39 > 0:12:43a tasty challenge from comedienne and friend Meera Syal.
0:12:43 > 0:12:49Every Indian in the land will be rolling over, going "Those stupid bhajis."
0:12:49 > 0:12:54Friends Penny Smith and author Kathy Lette serve up some funny dishes.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59..food for thought and, oh, look what I'm serving up tonight.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03And over an opulent final feast, Richard tells us how his film
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Wah-Wah brought his mother back into his life.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11As a result of doing this, it's brought about a great reconciliation with my mum.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20This is the point, normally, on A Taste Of My Life where
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I have a little blast from someone's past,
0:13:22 > 0:13:26from their culinary history, and then I challenge them.
0:13:26 > 0:13:32And this time I'm not going to do that, because I've actually got a challenge from someone else.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Not from me, a friend of yours.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Richard E Grant, Sanjeev nothing Kumar.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Scrubbers!
0:13:42 > 0:13:45'I'm sorry, that's my grandmother.'
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Scrubbers!
0:13:47 > 0:13:49She's a bit mentally...old.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54He was a guest on The Kumars at Number 42,
0:13:54 > 0:13:57in fact he was a guest in our very first programme.
0:13:57 > 0:14:02Richard turned up and was THE perfect guest, the perfect guest.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Every time I've cooked for him it's been Indian food,
0:14:04 > 0:14:09cos I'm a bit boring, really, I always end up doing the things my mother taught me.
0:14:09 > 0:14:16But also, I feel the expectation often is, when people come to an Indian person's house,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18what they kind of want is home-cooked curry
0:14:18 > 0:14:22rather than the stuff they get in restaurants. Hello, darling.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23It's me.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27That's my greeting to you.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Because you have always loved the Indian food I've cooked,
0:14:30 > 0:14:35and because I think it would be good for your soul,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I think you should attempt a vegetable biryani,
0:14:38 > 0:14:42because it's something you can throw together yourself after a hard day's filming.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47So, for your Indian friends, try vegetable biryani.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50- OK.- So you'll do it, yeah? - I will, yeah.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- Try it?- Yeah. Now?- Yeah.- Great.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I don't know what Meera would think.
0:15:02 > 0:15:08- I mean, having said to you, "Go and make biranyi..."- Yeah.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I wonder what she'd make... I wonder what she'll make of it.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Well, she'll be lying on her sofa with her legs up at the ceiling, laughing at us.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- Just getting it so wrong. - Yeah, getting it so wrong.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Yeah.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Just really to get a sort of really aromatic...base
0:15:27 > 0:15:29to put everything else on top of.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39She's not looking, anyway, erm...
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Indian risotto cooked by two white boys.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47It's, erm... It's paneer.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52I don't know this at all, I've never cooked with this. Just leave it?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Yeah, the rice will absorb the water.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58That doesn't look like any Indian food that I've ever eaten before.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- Does it you?- Give it a little while, and it will.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- It smells good.- It does, doesn't it?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Yeah, it does. This stuff is not melting.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12It's softening, look.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- It is softening.- No, it's bouncing.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19- It's not softening at all.- I'm suspicious of white cubey things.
0:16:19 > 0:16:26Every Indian in the land will be rolling over, going, "Those stupid bhajees!" Laughing.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Horrified.- Yep.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30So will Meera.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33The moment of truth...
0:16:33 > 0:16:34OK.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38Smell that.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Pretty good, Meera. You should be here, my darling.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48One lump.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Out of ten?
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Two.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Four.- Meera, I'm coming round to your house.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06We can't go on like this!
0:17:06 > 0:17:10I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I mean, look at us!
0:17:12 > 0:17:13That's, of course, Withnail.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Uh-huh.- Has that haunted you?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20I mean, it must, cos I know there's lots of huge Withnail fans.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Well, it's gone on for... Since it was made 20 years ago,
0:17:23 > 0:17:26it's had this ongoing sort of cult following, and...
0:17:26 > 0:17:32I don't understand why, other than that I've never met a Withnail fan I didn't think was a good egg.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Have you been at the controls? - What are you talking about?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- The thermostats, what have you done to them?1- I haven't touched them.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Then why has my head gone numb?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43I must have some booze.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I demand to have some booze!
0:17:46 > 0:17:52Why it should have this ongoing life, I don't think any of us can really work out why that's happened.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56But it's one of those films that people quote huge chunks of, they adore it.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Yeah, it has great dialogue. Yeah, it is very quotable.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Do you eat out a lot?- Yeah, I do.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07Are you one of those people who like particular dishes in particular restaurants?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Yeah...and like a pony to the carrot, or the donkey or whatever,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I would go and eat the same things over and over and over again.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I know you like...
0:18:16 > 0:18:21quite hot food, and I've heard about these peri-peri prawns that...
0:18:21 > 0:18:26Yeah, but I have to...I have to qualify that - I like it not too hot.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29So I'm making a mild peri-peri for Richard.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I always use raw grey prawns.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34They're much juicier than the pink pre-cooked ones.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Mozambique was the adjacent country to Swaziland.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Where the food is very, very spicy.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Yeah, so it was Portuguese colonial food,
0:18:42 > 0:18:46and eating prawns there, great piles of them, was, erm...
0:18:46 > 0:18:50and lightly peri-peried, was a great treat always.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57I'm going to offer you a peri-peri prawn.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- Or three.- Thank you.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Oh...
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Wow! That's the most wonderful... Oh!
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Look at that. Absolutely wonderful.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Absolutely wonderful, circa Mozambique 1973.
0:19:13 > 0:19:18You've done what? I mean, it must be over 30 films.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20I've been in 34, yeah.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- I mean, which one of them is... - HE CRUNCHES
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- Excuse me, sorry.- Do carry on. Which one of them is your favourite?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30- Very good for soup stock.- Mmm!
0:19:30 > 0:19:37Favourite? Writing and directing my own novel, Wah-Wah, that was the most wonderful experience, yep.
0:19:37 > 0:19:43You get asked a thousand questions a day, and so it's like pecked to death slowly by pigeons.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46It's the perfect job for a detail-obsessed masochist.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Where are those prawns? Can you bring them back?
0:19:49 > 0:19:53Have they been eaten? I'd like more!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01A lot of your friends, I've noticed, they seem to be women.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05You seem to have an affinity for drawing in sort of... close female friends.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Yeah, the majority of my friends are women, always have been.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Why is that? It's funny. - I think because I've so many female hormones.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15I like yakking.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19We've actually managed to track down some of your close female friends,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- and they've actually got a little message for you.- Wow.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24God.
0:20:24 > 0:20:30I'm just going to cook a really easy onion and tomato and basil spaghetti.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Every time that I see Richard, when we go out for lunch -
0:20:34 > 0:20:37or dinner - he always seems to eat spaghetti.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41Richard E Grant, I mean, if you were an alien and I needed to describe
0:20:41 > 0:20:47Richard E Grant, I would say, "Short, fat, very hairy...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50"with a strange habit of sniffing."
0:20:50 > 0:20:53I met him at a supermarket in Penge.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56He was buying some beef burgers and oven chips for
0:20:56 > 0:21:01Joan, Olly and him, and I bumped into him in the car park.
0:21:01 > 0:21:07Obviously, you know, he was awash with Pringles and nasty salty snacks...
0:21:07 > 0:21:10I'm joking, obviously!
0:21:10 > 0:21:13No, funnily enough, I met him in Barbados, and
0:21:13 > 0:21:19obviously the first thing I noticed about Richard was his Speedos.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23And funnily enough, after that holiday, I don't think he wore them anymore.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Can you smell this, Richard?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32And we've got a bit of this going in I've been assured this will help.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Yes, he has a unique quality all right.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40I think the Speedos says it all, doesn't it, really?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Yes...
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Tough as old boots.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Richard is very, very dull.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Whenever I go out, I always say to Joan, his lovely wife, "Just put
0:21:51 > 0:21:54"me as far away from Richard as possible, cos he's so boring."
0:21:54 > 0:21:59He's got nothing to talk about, and he never, ever, ever gossips.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Nice and gloopy. How could you not want to eat that?
0:22:08 > 0:22:12And the piece de resistance... is the truffle oil.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- You did mention gossip. - Well, how do you define gossip?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21Gossip to me seems to be what people do all the time.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Everybody talks about everybody, so I don't see it as a pejorative thing.
0:22:24 > 0:22:29- But some people are better at it, some people are really good. - This is true, yeah.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Penny looks like she might be quite good at it.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Yeah, she's very good at it. She's a good gasbag!
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Actually, I've got another message from a friend of yours,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41but this is not so much a foodie message, it's...
0:22:41 > 0:22:45I'll just say slightly unusual.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48As you know, Richard, wordplay is foreplay for females,
0:22:48 > 0:22:51how else is Woody Allen still getting laid.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53And you have a black belt in tongue fu.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You've given me quiplash many times.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00And you know I can't cook, but we do share a passion for food
0:23:00 > 0:23:03for thought, and, oh, look what I'm serving up tonight!
0:23:03 > 0:23:06Richard knows I can't cook,
0:23:06 > 0:23:12I burn water, so when he comes for dinner, I just dial my finger to the bone ordering takeout.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14He's deeply eccentric as a cook, and as a person,
0:23:14 > 0:23:16which is what makes him delicious.
0:23:16 > 0:23:21He loves women - not in a predatory way. I mean, he is my only
0:23:21 > 0:23:26male friend who I can strip off to my emotional underwear for.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29It's a psychological striptease that reveals all.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31But he would never prey on you in any way.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33I mean, dear God, I would prey on him!
0:23:33 > 0:23:36You know, given half a chance!
0:23:36 > 0:23:43He's really unshockable, and he's fantastically loyal and really wicked and mischievous.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Oh... Of course, my real fantasy meal
0:23:47 > 0:23:50that I'd really like to give Richard is myself naked on a bed of lettuce.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Kathy!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Wow, that's amazing.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07It's so odd when you know people and then you see...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09It's almost like being dead, because...
0:24:11 > 0:24:15you don't normally get people saying these things to you to your face.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16No, sure.
0:24:16 > 0:24:22Do you? It's very unnerving, and also very welcome, to receive a compliment like that.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- OK, turning over... - Turning over, ready to rock.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- Fanny Craddock.- Hello, Johnny.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37So this is your fabulous, fabulous final feast.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Please run me through it.- Crab.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Are you making it into a salad? - Crab salad, absolutely delicious.
0:24:43 > 0:24:48Soft-shelled crabs, deep-fried, absolutely...sublime.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Fish soup.- Fish soup, so you're gonna put those in.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56In here, and here we have that old foreplay standby, unbeatable oysters.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- They do look fantastic. - Do you like them?- I could eat them every day of my life.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Shall we move in together?- Why not?
0:25:03 > 0:25:08So there's sticky-toffee pudding, plus bread-and-butter pudding, and then you'll just explode.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12It looks gorgeous to me, and you've managed to get raisins in both of them.
0:25:12 > 0:25:17Absolutely, stuffed to the gunnals. Shall I do it with my hands?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Do it with your hands, I love doing it with your hands.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24So tell me, you know when you were...when you decided to do Wah-Wah Diaries,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27it's a very, very personal journey, isn't it?
0:25:27 > 0:25:32Well, I reckoned that, rather than looking back in anger, looking back
0:25:32 > 0:25:38with compassion on your past to try and understand why, what, where, how things happened as they did.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43And as a result of doing this, it's brought about a great reconciliation with my mother.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47- After all those years? - Yeah, so it's been really good.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52Without sounding like Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Springer here, it's just a way of saying,
0:25:52 > 0:25:56"This happened to me, and there was addiction, adultery, divorce,
0:25:56 > 0:26:00"amateur dramatics, acne, first love, lost love, unrequited love."
0:26:00 > 0:26:05These things happen to most people, including you, which I know they have done.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Nigel and Richard, welcome to our show.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11And a happy Christmas to all of you lovely viewers.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13God, that looks fantastic.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16God, that smells so good.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18I like a rustic fish soup.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Rustic and fishy.
0:26:21 > 0:26:26And this is Richard E Grant's final feast - a fish soup,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29oysters,
0:26:29 > 0:26:31a crab salad,
0:26:31 > 0:26:34whole fried soft-shelled crab,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36and a bread-and-butter pudding.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- We should break bread together. Isn't that the way that you do it?- Yeah.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Ahh... Like a Christmas cracker.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47What next? What does the future hold for Richard E Grant?
0:26:47 > 0:26:51More eating and, er...
0:26:51 > 0:26:55hopefully to write and direct some more flicks and act in them, too.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59Do you have a wish...to go with your final feast?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Do I have a wish? Yeah.
0:27:01 > 0:27:08I want to live in good health until I'm at least 120, so that I don't miss out on what's going on.
0:27:08 > 0:27:14I worked with John Gielgud, and he was in his nineties, and I said,
0:27:14 > 0:27:16"How old do you feel?" and he said,
0:27:16 > 0:27:20he is 36, but he's stuck in a body that's all old and falling apart.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23I said, "What's the worst thing about being your age?"
0:27:23 > 0:27:26He said, "When I look in my address book, everybody's dead."
0:27:26 > 0:27:29So, cultivate younger friends is the answer.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Do you want some guests? - Apart from you?
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Apart from me. Who would you choose?
0:27:33 > 0:27:40My immediate family and my best friends, because whenever I've thought about those lists and
0:27:40 > 0:27:45knowing what it's like at a dinner where you don't know people, and the more celebrated they are and
0:27:45 > 0:27:50the more witty they're supposed to be, I find that that is intimidating.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55So I'd rather be with people that... I know and love, erm...
0:27:55 > 0:28:02for my final feast, although I wouldn't mind having Barbra Streisand
0:28:02 > 0:28:05or Annie Lennox just to sing us a couple of songs on our way out.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- I think we can allow that. - Could we allow that?- I think so.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09And they both like to eat.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Yeah.- We can allow that.
0:28:12 > 0:28:17- Richard, thank you.- Thank you. - Very much, thank you for being a guest on A Taste Of My Life.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21- Oh, well, thank you for having me. - Thank you for a gorgeous feast.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24- Fantastic food! Soft-shelled crab? - Yes, please.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2006
0:28:45 > 0:28:48E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk