0:00:00 > 0:00:05This is A Taste Of My Life, the show that serves up famous lives on a plate.
0:00:25 > 0:00:32For the next half an hour, I'll be exploring the various ways in which food makes us who we are.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35By cooking and tasting the dishes of their past, I'll
0:00:35 > 0:00:40be taking another very special guest on a culinary trip down memory lane.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44Today's guest has established herself not only as a comic actress
0:00:44 > 0:00:49but also as a writer, with such hits as Bhaji On The Beach, Anita And Me,
0:00:49 > 0:00:51and Life Isn't All Ha Ha Hee Hee.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53'Naturally, she asked me to leave.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56'Mentioned stuff about boundaries and me only being
0:00:56 > 0:01:00'a glorified secretary, but I knew I could be a better lawyer than her.'
0:01:00 > 0:01:02So can I have a leaving do, then?
0:01:02 > 0:01:06She broke through to a much wider audience alongside
0:01:06 > 0:01:09her future husband Sanjeev Bhaskar
0:01:09 > 0:01:12in the smash-hit Asian comedy Goodness Gracious Me.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Thank you.
0:01:14 > 0:01:17You like seafood, am I right?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Yes!- I could tell as soon as I picked you up.
0:01:20 > 0:01:21How?
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Cos you smell of fish, innit?
0:01:24 > 0:01:29She is perhaps most notorious as the salacious and predatory grandmother
0:01:29 > 0:01:33in the ground-breaking chat show - The Kumars at No 42.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38Mr Parkinson, I just want to say what a great pleasure it is to have you on the show.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41To be honest, you will never know how much pleasure.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Yes, today's guest is actress, comedian and writer, Meera Syal.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Coming up in today's show:
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Meera Syal drools over the classic dishes of her youth -
0:01:54 > 0:01:57crinkle chips, fried eggs and Black Forest gateau.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59Cake's great, isn't it?
0:02:01 > 0:02:05Friend and comedienne Jo Brand displays the full range
0:02:05 > 0:02:08of her culinary abilities, making bangers and mash.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11If it all goes wrong, I can just stab myself at the end.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- Then I'll be dead, and you can eat- me.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16And actor and buddy Richard E Grant lays down the gauntlet,
0:02:16 > 0:02:21challenging us both to a bread and butter pudding cook-off.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25Restaurants probably have a thing that does this, but I call this a finger.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Welcome to A Taste Of My Life.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Thank you. Thank you very much.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Now, you were born, like many great people, in Wolverhampton.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Yes, indeed.- Which bit?
0:02:39 > 0:02:43- I was actually born in New Cross Hospital.- OK.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I think I slept in a drawer.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- I don't believe you!- I did! I don't think my mum had a carrycot.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51They hadn't been in England long, and I was unexpected.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52So what was childhood like?
0:02:52 > 0:02:59My childhood was quite schizophrenic, actually, as for, I think, a lot of first-generation immigrants.
0:02:59 > 0:03:07At home, it was very Indian - the food we ate, the language we spoke, the way I spoke, very polite...
0:03:07 > 0:03:09The minute I left the front door,
0:03:09 > 0:03:11because it was quite a tough mining village...
0:03:11 > 0:03:15(ADOPTS MIDLANDS ACCENT): I used to talk like that, I was a wench, I would scrap.
0:03:15 > 0:03:21So I would swap accents and masks all the time, so I was a pretty good scrapper,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23quite early on.
0:03:23 > 0:03:28So at home, the cooking was always Indian, or principally so?
0:03:28 > 0:03:34For me, food has always had quite an emotional connection, as it is a direct link home, Indian food.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37British food was exotic, bizarrely.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Fish fingers - "God, we're having fish fingers tonight!"
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Of the food at that time, is there anything that you specifically remember that was a favourite thing?
0:03:45 > 0:03:51My favourite exotic English food was, um, occasionally when we went
0:03:51 > 0:03:54shopping, a big treat was to go to basically, a greasy caff.
0:03:54 > 0:04:01I thought that crinkle-cut chips and fried egg was the most exciting food.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04I can remember crinkle-cut chips coming out.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06How did they do that?
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Were potatoes wavy? I don't know!
0:04:09 > 0:04:14If you're brave enough to make your own, when it comes to deep frying,
0:04:14 > 0:04:18the best oils are sunflower, corn and vegetable oil.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23The joy of getting a chip and breaking the yolk,
0:04:23 > 0:04:28and then the tomato sauce, that whole flavour sensation. It's amazing.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Frying eggs is about as simple as food gets.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34But even this can either be done sunny side up,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38with the yolk skyward, or over-easy, cooking them on both sides.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- Was your mum a pie maker? - No, Punjabis don't bake.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I thought the oven was a storage unit.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Chips and fried eggs - Meera's taste of childhood.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50OK, I'm going to be sophisticated.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51You put brown sauce on?
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I'm going to be sophisticated and use a knife.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57That goes there, then I'm going to do this...
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Meera's chip butty.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Yeah, it's very precise.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Then you do this, you see. - An open chip butty!
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I can feel my arteries clogging up. It's fabulous.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Certainly, when I was at school in the Midlands, there were no Asian families at all.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18I was only one of two or three Asians in all my schooling.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20It wasn't round to Meera's for supper?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22God, no, wrong size, wrong colour.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24We were very Indian, we spoke Punjabi, we ate
0:05:24 > 0:05:30Punjabi food with our fingers, and I notice that neither of us are using a knife and fork in this meal, good.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32You're right!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35And out of the house, I would talk like this, like a Midlands wench.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38You were quite genteel at home?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Yes! Every weekend, a load of Punjabi families would come to us,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44or we would go to them, so I had hundreds of uncles and aunties.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49All the women in the kitchen, someone chopping, and someone doing this...
0:05:49 > 0:05:51So everybody joining in.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Not men, obviously, they were sitting on their BLEEP playing cards.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57You'd get someone knocking on your door saying,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00"I've just cooked some dal, there's too much, can I come in?"
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Now, Meera the teenager.
0:06:05 > 0:06:11I was very shy, I was very studious, and I was very fat.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16Those three things made me a huge hit with the boys from the boys' school,
0:06:16 > 0:06:21and I had this nervous tic for a while, I used to go like that a lot,
0:06:21 > 0:06:22blink a lot. Very attractive.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- I was gorgeous.- Quite swotty?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28I was, but I was Indian, so I was meant to be.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29It's kind of genetic, you know.
0:06:29 > 0:06:34On leaving full-time education, Meera quickly moved into the world of performance.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Like many comic artists, she found herself a regular at the Edinburgh Festival.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I've caught up with a friend of yours from around that time.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Uh-huh!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50What I thought was, I would cook Meera
0:06:50 > 0:06:54something to celebrate the fact that it's 25 years since we first met.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58It's celebration fairy cakes to celebrate the fact she came down
0:06:58 > 0:07:01to London from Edinburgh, that we were young, fairy cakes are young,
0:07:01 > 0:07:06and they're slightly disgusting, because the Eighties were disgusting
0:07:06 > 0:07:07and we were those sort of girls
0:07:07 > 0:07:11with bright clothes and high hair, although she was always very classy.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14How kind!
0:07:16 > 0:07:21I think for us, the kitchen is just a place where we put the world to rights.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24It's really that kind of women's friendship,
0:07:24 > 0:07:28where you sit down with a pile of food, and talk about your life.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Typical!
0:07:38 > 0:07:43She's helpful, she's friendly, she's deeply insecure, like all actresses,
0:07:43 > 0:07:49and so that is great, so you always feel slightly superior in one area of your life.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52She might do better in her career, her brilliance,
0:07:52 > 0:07:55every other way, she is better than you but then you think,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58"I'm more secure than you, so that's all right!"
0:08:03 > 0:08:08I am so proud to have been your friend over the years, and I am particularly proud of the fact that
0:08:08 > 0:08:13I have made you these fairy cakes as a celebration, because you know this would have taken some effort,
0:08:13 > 0:08:18and there are times that I want to shake you, which is what we want to do with our friends,
0:08:18 > 0:08:20and there are times I want to pull you to me and hug you,
0:08:20 > 0:08:25and I love the fact that no matter how well you've done in life,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27you have always found time for your friends,
0:08:27 > 0:08:31us Asian babes, and you are a fantastic person,
0:08:31 > 0:08:34and we probably don't tell you that often enough.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39Oh, so sweet!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Oh, look.- Aren't they fab?
0:08:43 > 0:08:48Aren't they fab? That this so Sharma, they're chaotic and creative.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- Has my mascara run? - It's fine. Perfect.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Everything tastes good when it's made with emotion.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Except bread.- Does it really, because of the kneading?
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Because of the fact that it could actually be somebody, or something.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03So, as a teenager, was there anything in particular
0:09:03 > 0:09:07that you would make that would make you feel a bit sophisticated,
0:09:07 > 0:09:08and grown up?
0:09:08 > 0:09:13I do remember the first meal I ever went out for with my friends from
0:09:13 > 0:09:15school, and we paid for ourselves.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20I ordered prawn cocktail, and Black Forest gateau.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23- I know that era, yes.- You know the era we are talking about?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25And everything was just...
0:09:25 > 0:09:29I was so deeply impressed with myself and my worldliness.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32You can't underestimate fresh prawns.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Buy raw grey ones and cook them yourself.
0:09:35 > 0:09:40Stop cooking as soon as they go orange. They can easily toughen.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44When the wine came, it had ice crystals in it.
0:09:44 > 0:09:49I thought that this was probably some new London trend that had come up to the Midlands recently.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55For mayonnaise, beat the oil into the egg yolks slowly, making your sauce.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00Take your mayonnaise base and add Tabasco, tomato sauce, Worcester sauce and lemon juice.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04But you could add garlic, curry powder, chilli, capers
0:10:04 > 0:10:08or mustard to take this simple classic into the 21st century.
0:10:08 > 0:10:14That menu still has a strange air of glamour about it.
0:10:14 > 0:10:19It still has an air of glamour, because prawn cocktail and Black Forest gateau are back,
0:10:19 > 0:10:21in a trendy, retro kind of way.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25Indulgence on a plate.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Black Forest gateau originally comes from Germany.
0:10:31 > 0:10:38The surprising secret to making a good one is maintaining a sharp contrast between sweet and bitter.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42What about ice crystals in wine, has that come back?
0:10:42 > 0:10:46- It's on the way, it's on the way. - Excellent.- Absolutely.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53When assembling the base of this dessert, be sure to add some rum.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56But you could use kirsch.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03Use sour cherries, as the taste cuts perfectly through all the surrounding cream and sugar.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Suddenly, it is the late 1970s.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Instantly. It is one of the instant recipes that takes you back to that.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17Did you end up as a sort of impoverished actress?
0:11:17 > 0:11:22There was nobody who looked like me that was acting, visibly, as far as I could see.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24There just weren't parts, they weren't written?
0:11:24 > 0:11:30The only time you saw an Indian on telly was when someone blacked up, which doesn't count,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33or in newsreels, being swept away by monsoons.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35There was a point when I was homeless -
0:11:35 > 0:11:37I never told my parents as they'd have made me come home.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39But you did keep the wolf from the door?
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Yeah, through a mixture...
0:11:40 > 0:11:43It is why I started writing, to be honest, because I realised
0:11:43 > 0:11:48I wasn't going to get good work unless I created it, because no-one was writing for women like me.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Do I fancy some Black Forest gateaux?
0:11:50 > 0:11:51I do!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Do ya? Go on, then.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55No, that's mine.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00Yours is coming in a minute. Cake's great, isn't it?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Oh, that is so good.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Still to come on A Taste Of My Life,
0:12:09 > 0:12:15Meera's pal Jo Brand grapples with some spuds and lots of sausages.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18That is kind of a normal amount that I would eat for my lunch.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23Richard E Grant describes what dinner at Meera's is really like.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25The food portions are very, very abstemious.
0:12:25 > 0:12:31Tiny. You always leave hungry and it's a fairly miserable and tight-arsed experience.
0:12:31 > 0:12:38And Meera Syal reveals a secret desire over her final feast.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41On a purely selfish level, I really wish I could fly.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Oh, yeah!
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Meera first found real success through her writing,
0:12:50 > 0:12:55and throughout her career has turned her hand to books, sketchwriting, and even screenplays.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59There are a lot of actors who do a bit of writing, and a lot of writers
0:12:59 > 0:13:00who end up doing a bit of acting.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04But with you, you are very much a success at both.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I could paper my bedroom with rejection slips.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09You only see the ones that actually make it.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14Ultimately, it's so I can write myself whacking great parts. Frankly.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Yes, of course, because you have done screenplay work,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19and you have written yourself in.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Well, no-one else was giving me a job. I had no choice.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Especially with what was on offer. An arranged marriage...
0:13:24 > 0:13:27You just think, you know what, I'm done with that.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Are there any foods or dishes in particular, or recipes, that you
0:13:31 > 0:13:36associate with that point in your life when you became a success?
0:13:36 > 0:13:39There are - one of them is a real cliche, which is caviar.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Oh yeah! Well, why not?
0:13:41 > 0:13:46The thing is, I always associated with, "That's what snobs eat, because it costs a lot."
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Blini.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54The unsung hero that sits beneath the heavy financial burden.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Again, it's easy to make your own.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Traditionally these are made with buckwheat flour.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04But for lighter ones, you could use half plain and half buckwheat.
0:14:04 > 0:14:10And don't think a blini can only be used with sour cream and caviar.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Try them with jam, honey, or simply butter.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16I was rather, kind of, petit-bourgeois kind of way,
0:14:16 > 0:14:20"No, I will never eat caviar, I will eat dirt, before I eat caviar."
0:14:20 > 0:14:23That was until I was at the Ivy with Ray Winstone - I will drop a name -
0:14:23 > 0:14:27and he said, "Have you had caviar with all the trimmings?" And I said, "No."
0:14:27 > 0:14:32And it came, and there were these fantastic blinis, and the idea of
0:14:32 > 0:14:36caviar isn't great - fish eggs - it is not really what you want to eat.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39We used to have a fried roe in Wolverhampton, in batter.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40- Do you remember?- Yes!
0:14:42 > 0:14:45And it tastes great. It really does.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47When you've done it the right way,
0:14:47 > 0:14:50you've got the right trimmings and really good vodka with it.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Maybe it's the vodka that makes everything taste good.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- Thank you, Ray Winstone. - Thank you, Ray Winstone!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59And since then, that was probably fairly early on in your career?
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I do remember one dish, which has always stayed with me.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I was in LA, doing the LA thing, on Sunset Boulevard,
0:15:05 > 0:15:09with the palm trees, and you feel like you might be a little bit famous
0:15:09 > 0:15:14just for five minutes, and on the menu was something called squid and banana salad.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18It was one of those I-dare-you dishes.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21It is an I-dare-you dish, isn't it?
0:15:21 > 0:15:25And it was like somebody doing a samba on your tongue.
0:15:25 > 0:15:31Squid. Seafood that must be cooked for either seconds or hours but nothing in between.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Squid can be shallow- or deep-fried.
0:15:37 > 0:15:44Although obvious, always pre-heat your oil, or squid meat will absorb it and won't go brown.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46I'm a bit conservative sometimes.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I should do an "I dare you", occasionally.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Squid and banana, most people would be conservative about.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I know, but I am telling you, it really worked.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Toast your sesame seeds.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Lemon or lime juice is a fresh alternative to vinegar dressing.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03And the addition of orange and banana
0:16:03 > 0:16:07softens and sweetens this dish almost to the status of a dessert.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12Try replacing the banana with fried plantain.
0:16:12 > 0:16:16This really is one of those bizarre creations that could only really
0:16:16 > 0:16:19emerge from the mind of a Hollywood chef.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20I can't talk when I'm eating.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29We can't talk about your success without mentioning Goodness Gracious Me.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Yes.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- A huge, huge success.- That was the show that did it, really.
0:16:33 > 0:16:39Yo, pussycats. It's me, Smita Smitten, showbiz kitten.
0:16:39 > 0:16:44Clawing her way through the showbiz litter tray to find you hot chunks of
0:16:44 > 0:16:47fresh steamy gossip to chew over in the comfort of your own living room.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50That was also where you met your husband.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54- Indeed.- How did that happen? Was it love at first sight?
0:16:54 > 0:17:00God, No. No, it was creative love at first sight.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05Is it true that at your wedding, you and Sanjeev danced to There May Be Trouble Ahead?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Yes!
0:17:07 > 0:17:14The brass kicks in and everyone got up, as soon as Nat's voice started soaring over and the brass...
0:17:14 > 0:17:20- Nat King Cole!- Yes, so it was a really fun number, I loved it.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Now, the Kumars.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Surely, when that started, you couldn't have been prepared
0:17:26 > 0:17:29for how that was going to take off and explode.
0:17:29 > 0:17:30Not at all.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Richard E Grant!- Hi.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Sanjeev nothing Kumar.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Scrubbers!
0:17:35 > 0:17:39I'm sorry, that's my grandmother.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40Scrubbers!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43A curious thing, when you feel you know people like that,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46that Granny is going to be so embarrassing.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- Yeah!- And actually, a bit rude, to be honest.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52It was like a kind of therapy, actually.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53You like being a bit rude?
0:17:53 > 0:17:57Yeah! Who doesn't? But not as myself.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Because then I'm embarrassed.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01But that make-up was like a mask.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05There was a well-known executive at the BBC who asked who that new actress was.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Oh, fantastic!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Tell me, what sort of friend is Meera Syal?
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Oh, that's really hard!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Persistent.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22"Why don't you call me, why don't you like me, are you coming over?"
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- You cook for your friends? - Yeah, I really enjoy cooking.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28I caught up with one of your mates, actually.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Aha.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36< Right, hello, Meera.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Jo!
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I'm not the world's best cook,
0:18:39 > 0:18:43I don't like cooking, I don't like waiting for cooking to be ready.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48Let's just repeat that old Joan Rivers joke about Elizabeth Taylor,
0:18:48 > 0:18:52that she is the only woman who stands in front of the microwave telling it to hurry up.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55She's not, I'm another one. I don't really know what herbs are.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59I know what they look like, but I don't know what to do with them,
0:18:59 > 0:19:01so I'm going to do something simple today.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05- I'm going to make you bangers and mash.- Lovely!
0:19:05 > 0:19:09The reason I'm doing it is cos I'm a rubbish cook, and even cooking this,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12actually, extends my skills way beyond what they actually are.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15I'll just peel a few just to show you I can do it.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- If it all goes wrong, I can just stab myself at the end, I'll be dead, and you can eat- me!
0:19:21 > 0:19:26So I'll just rinse these under the tap, because obviously I've been strangling weasels
0:19:26 > 0:19:29in my garden all morning, and my hands are a bit dirty.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33What you do - this is so difficult - you bring them to the boil,
0:19:33 > 0:19:38turn it down so boiling water doesn't spit all over you.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42As you can see, we have an enormous amount of sausages here.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45That is the normal amount I'd eat for my lunch.
0:19:45 > 0:19:51The other thing about cooking is that because it takes a long time, you have time to go and get drunk.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53I like them to be properly cooked, and slightly burnt,
0:19:53 > 0:19:57and if you tell people you meant to do it,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00it's like when you fall over at school, and say you meant to do it.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04As you can see, I've got this enormous heavy chopping board here,
0:20:04 > 0:20:07which is very handy for stunning burglars.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10If you've got a few onions left, throw them at the camera.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Back on the heat.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14LIQUID SIZZLES
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Oh, that lovely noise.
0:20:16 > 0:20:23As you can see, I've done a nice pattern on the plate, and it's taken ages.
0:20:25 > 0:20:31I'm doing it in a rather arty way, with an M for Meera. I am indeed.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33You are really clever, Jo.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Look at that, there you go - "Meera".
0:20:35 > 0:20:39Now, a good bit of advice for serving mashed potato,
0:20:39 > 0:20:44if you use a wooden spoon, it doesn't stick, so it looks nicer when it comes out.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45I didn't know that.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46No, I didn't know that.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Meera, yum, how about that? Isn't that gorgeous?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54It is, Jo, and so are you.
0:20:56 > 0:21:01That is fantastic, made with so much love! Fabulous...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- From Jo.- Jo!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Jo Brand would prick a sausage, wouldn't she?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Jo Brand would circumcise a sausage if she could.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Or chop it off.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Jo, it's fabulous!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19I am a big believer in karma.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22My dad always used to say, what goes around comes around.
0:21:22 > 0:21:30We had a friend of yours who phoned us up and said could they issue you with a challenge?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Meera as a host is, well, the food portions are very abstemious and
0:21:34 > 0:21:38tiny, you leave hungry after you've left Sanjeev and Meera's house,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41and you barely laugh,
0:21:41 > 0:21:47so all in all, it's a fairly miserable, tight-arsed experience.
0:21:49 > 0:21:54My challenge today is to cook something that I like more than
0:21:54 > 0:21:57anything else on the planet, which is bread-and-butter pudding.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Oh.- You go along with that, yeah?
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Yeah.- It is one of my absolute top-ten favourite puddings.- Is it?
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Yeah.- I have a rather unique way of doing it.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08You might not like it. Have you got cardamoms?
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Oh, of course we've got cardamoms.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Then I accept your challenge.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19So, Richard E's challenge.
0:22:19 > 0:22:25- His challenge is bread-and-butter pudding. I don't feel too unconfident about this.- You've done it before.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26I have. Do you put sultanas in yours?
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I do. The world is divided, but I do.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Cinnamon and nutmeg.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Isn't that a great smell?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37It is the best smell.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I am using chocolate-chip brioche.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Oh, yummy!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43And the spices go so well with the chocolate.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47This is what makes it into an Indian bread-and-butter pudding.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48The cardamoms!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You did the screenplay for Life Isn't All Ha Ha Hee Hee, didn't you?
0:22:56 > 0:23:00I did. I think it might have been the first time it that there was a drama,
0:23:00 > 0:23:06peak-time at 9 o'clock, featuring three Indian women in the leads.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09It's all about the terrible things that friends do to each other,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13and women particularly do to each other when it comes to men, which
0:23:13 > 0:23:18always shocked me, and maybe I've done myself. We all make mistakes.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20God, that's heavy.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Do you get sent scripts, and think, "Here we go again. I'm being asked to play the same person."
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Yeah. It was arranged marriages, and now it's terrorists, of course.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Oh, of course, we've moved on. - We've moved on so much.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40You've collected quite a few gongs over the years.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42I think you have an MBE?
0:23:42 > 0:23:47I have, or it's an MEB, which my mother calls it. Which stands for the Midlands Electricity Board.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Which is one way of bringing you down to earth, isn't it?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52That was in '97, I think it was.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54I'm crap at this.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57- Oh, Meera.- How do you not?
0:23:57 > 0:24:01What's the trick? Someone has to eat that now, I've lost it.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05I've put chocolate in this, as well as the chocolate chip.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08You can never have too much chocolate.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I'm going to have that on my gravestone.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14What's the bit you get the most buzz out of?
0:24:14 > 0:24:19The hordes of autograph-hunters that follow me around everywhere.
0:24:19 > 0:24:24They take my picture. And think I'm great.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Yeah, that's better. Lovely.
0:24:28 > 0:24:33See, restaurants have a thing that does this, but I call this a finger.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I can smell that, I can smell the cardamom.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Can you? Oh, that is great, that.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43That's good.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50It's really good.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56It's gorgeous, because of the cardamom.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59It's really good, really, you're not just saying that?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01It's heaven. Absolute bliss.
0:25:01 > 0:25:02Thank you!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04No, thank you. Thank you, Richard E.
0:25:04 > 0:25:09Time for Meera to sum up her life over her final feast.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Meera, your final feast.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15My final feast, gosh, I do feel greedy.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18And to get things going, it's a paella to start.
0:25:18 > 0:25:24I love paella. It's kind of got everything in it that I really love - seafood, and rice, and garlic.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27What are those over there?
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Now, these are garlic and rosemary flatbreads.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Rosemary and garlic bread.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35The knack is all in the kneading.
0:25:35 > 0:25:39You know when you've kneaded enough when the dough is springy.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Bake until lightly golden and crisp.
0:25:44 > 0:25:49The smell of rosemary and garlic together is probably my favourite smell... after my babies.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51A saag paneer.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53- That's good healthy stuff. - This is very healthy stuff.
0:25:53 > 0:25:57This is the dish my mum makes amazingly well.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02This is a winter dish served to guests in Indian homes.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07Paneer is a traditional Indian cheese and is a fabulous source of protein.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Gorgeous served with naan bread.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12And the not so healthy...
0:26:12 > 0:26:16I love meringue.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18I just can't help it, and I know I shouldn't.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22A lovely dessert to make, and here are a couple of quick tips on making meringues.
0:26:22 > 0:26:27Use eggs at room temperature, they'll whisk more easily.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Don't over whisk the whites as the volume will start to decrease.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35They have to be chewy. I hate powdery meringue.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38I like meringues that are slightly undercooked, slightly chewy.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Crisp outside, and chewy and gooey in the middle.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Yes, yes, yes!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Whisk your cream and choose your topping.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52Some of your work has had conflict in it, there is a theme.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55I'm worried that perhaps she likes a fight.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Ha ha ha! What do you mean?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59When you said you scrapped at school...
0:26:59 > 0:27:04I hate scrapping. I'm a really non-violent person, but I hate bullying even more.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06And I have heard you are a little bit of a mystic, Meera.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Mystic Meera. Mmm, I am interested in all that.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Was there an unhappy patch, and you thought, there is something in this?
0:27:13 > 0:27:19Yes, there are times when I thought I would never work again, or when my first marriage broke up.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23Those are the times when you want someone to tell you it's gonna be OK.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Whether that's your mum, astrologer,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28a psychic or your best friend, but you want someone to say it.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Can you tell what you're going to do next?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Bearing in mind you've done so many things?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35I'm going to eat some bread.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37I thought you might say that.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41You are allowed to have a last wish.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Well, on a purely selfish level, I wish I could fly.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Oh yeah. I'm with you, I am totally with you.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- I know it sounds silly. - No, it doesn't at all.
0:27:49 > 0:27:54I have dreams where I'm flying and I'm walking, and I just push off with my legs like that and just go.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57I really got into Heroes, the American sci-fi series,
0:27:57 > 0:28:01and the bloke that could fly, I so envied him, except he did it really fast.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04He'd go... WHOOSH! I thought, no, I'd get a nosebleed.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I just want to go... oooh!
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Do you find that thing about food, that it does
0:28:09 > 0:28:13bring back things, when you smell something or touch something?
0:28:13 > 0:28:17I don't trust people who just live on lettuce leaves.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20And go to the gym all the time. You think - you look great,
0:28:20 > 0:28:22but you're BLEEP miserable and crap in bed.
0:28:24 > 0:28:25Cheers.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29Meera Syal, thank you so much for being my guest on Taste Of My Life.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34I've loved it, and don't show the last bit to my mum, she'll be really annoyed.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd