Jo Brand

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06Welcome to A Taste Of My Life, dishing up famous lives on a plate.

0:00:21 > 0:00:25Like DNA, by analysing the food of one's life,

0:00:25 > 0:00:30a truly revealing portrait of who we are starts to emerge,

0:00:30 > 0:00:35so I'm turning back the culinary clock on yet another famous life.

0:00:35 > 0:00:40Today's guest is a memorable face from the alternative comedy scene.

0:00:40 > 0:00:46I'll move the microphone stand as you won't be able to see me otherwise(!)

0:00:47 > 0:00:54She carved a name for herself as someone not afraid to state her mind about pretty much anything.

0:00:54 > 0:00:58Inside every fat person is a thin person trying to get out.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Cos we've just eaten one!

0:01:01 > 0:01:07Having had huge success as a provocative stand-up comic, she's started to mellow a bit.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Because you see me on the telly shooting my mouth off.- Yeah.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15But I'm not really like that.

0:01:15 > 0:01:19I thought you were going to be really horrible, you two.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22And you are, so...

0:01:22 > 0:01:27Today's guest is comedienne Jo Brand. And coming up today...

0:01:27 > 0:01:31'Jo Brand's mum reveals how Jo used to eat meat as a small girl.'

0:01:31 > 0:01:38You'd give her the piece of roast meat, she'd chew it and tuck it into a pouch at the side.

0:01:38 > 0:01:43'Jo's mate Harry Hill shares in some peculiar childhood memories.'

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Remember at school when you used to steal my packed lunch?

0:01:47 > 0:01:52'And challenges Jo to bake a cake impersonating the singer Morrissey.'

0:01:52 > 0:01:56Unfortunately, Jo's had to go, and I'm Morrissey.

0:01:56 > 0:02:01'And Jo reveals what life holds in store post-stand-up.'

0:02:01 > 0:02:08I'll probably try and win Strictly Come Dancing. I want a thin bloke to try and throw me up in the air.

0:02:11 > 0:02:17- Jo, welcome to Taste Of My Life. - Thank you.- You were born in London. You've got brothers?

0:02:17 > 0:02:23- Two brothers. I'm the middle one. - What sort of little girl were you? Sweet and well-behaved?

0:02:23 > 0:02:31I was quite well-behaved, but that was more because my parents were incredibly strict. We were held down.

0:02:31 > 0:02:37- What were Mum and Dad like? - My dad was an engineer and my mum was a housewife.

0:02:37 > 0:02:44It wasn't until I was 10 or 11 that my mum trained as a social worker and was basically never seen again!

0:02:44 > 0:02:47- Was it traditional cooking?- Very.

0:02:47 > 0:02:55It was very rare that she would put something in front of us and I would run off and cry and vomit.

0:02:55 > 0:03:02My mum will kill me for telling this story, but I don't care. This wasn't me. This was my elder brother.

0:03:02 > 0:03:09She'd spent ages making some hideous dish for him and he just looked at it and went, "Oh, no, thanks."

0:03:09 > 0:03:12She just put it on top of his head.

0:03:12 > 0:03:19- Were there any favourite dishes? - We had a lot of instant whip in our house, pretty much five days a week.

0:03:19 > 0:03:24- Favourite flavour?- Butterscotch. - It's the best.- Yes, gorgeous.

0:03:25 > 0:03:32'At its simplest, butterscotch is made with melted butter, brown sugar and cream.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36'Heat slowly until all the ingredients dissolve.'

0:03:37 > 0:03:43I remember thinking as a kid, "When I get older, I'll buy a whole one,

0:03:43 > 0:03:46"make it up and eat the whole lot!"

0:03:46 > 0:03:50- I've done it.- And? - It says, "Serves four." Lie!

0:03:50 > 0:03:55You'd get this little splodge and think, "That's nowhere near enough!"

0:03:55 > 0:04:02When I was a kid, we started off with blancmange and then we ended up with instant whip.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Did you have blancmange at school? - Yes, pink.- And lumpy.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09- With a thick skin on it. - It was vile!

0:04:14 > 0:04:19'A mousse can be whisked or blended, depending on what you do with it.

0:04:19 > 0:04:26'It'll either be smooth and creamy or light and airy. This is an extra-rich mousse with added cream.

0:04:26 > 0:04:31'Fold in the egg whites using a metal spoon in a figure of eight.'

0:04:36 > 0:04:40Salads would be lettuce, tomato and cucumber.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43And if she was being exotic, celery.

0:04:43 > 0:04:51My mum would make something she called "winter salad", but it was coleslaw without any mayonnaise.

0:04:51 > 0:04:58- So it was...- Cabbage. - Cabbage, onion, grated carrot. - A do-it-yourself coleslaw.- Yeah.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02I put loads of vinegar on cos I loved vinegar.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07I went to a Church Of England school, so I knew the Bible back to front.

0:05:07 > 0:05:13You know that story when Jesus is on the cross and they hand him up a sponge soaked in vinegar?

0:05:13 > 0:05:19It implied that it was a cruel thing to do and I thought, "That's great!"

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- "What a treat!"- Yes, really!

0:05:21 > 0:05:28'When making vinaigrette, you could add shallots, fresh herbs, garlic, mustard or honey.'

0:05:28 > 0:05:35- I'm very picky about coleslaw and how crunchy it is.- It can be so horrid. It's got to be crunchy.

0:05:35 > 0:05:40It has cos you get that horrible kind of gloopy, sort of slightly...

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- It's like wet hair.- Yes, it is like wet hair and that's horrid.

0:05:44 > 0:05:51'Coleslaw is of Dutch origin, "kool" meaning "cabbage", "sla" meaning "salad".'

0:05:53 > 0:06:00- I know I can interest you in a little pudding.- You certainly can. That looks gorgeous.

0:06:02 > 0:06:09- That's heavenly.- Completely heavenly. - It was a relief to have this at home, compared to school blancmange.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Because it had that wretched skin.

0:06:12 > 0:06:19We had to clean our plates, so I swapped it with a boy from the caravan site who ate everything!

0:06:19 > 0:06:26- I love the sound of him.- Got me out of trouble.- Every school should have one. "Eat my blancmange skin!"

0:06:26 > 0:06:32LAUGHTER While everyone's laughing, I'll have three more!

0:06:32 > 0:06:38- Is it right that you went to church?- Yes, but I got out of it by volunteering to be a bell-ringer.

0:06:38 > 0:06:43- You know that furry bit on it?- Yeah. - The handle, as I used to call it!

0:06:43 > 0:06:47I can't remember what it is actually called!

0:06:47 > 0:06:50If you miss that, all hell lets loose.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54This guy said, "Can you hold this for a minute?"

0:06:54 > 0:07:01I put my hand up and I went about 20 feet up in the air, came down, landed on someone and nearly killed them!

0:07:05 > 0:07:09- Did you get on with your brothers? - I got on with them...ish.

0:07:09 > 0:07:13I have memories of one of my brothers trod in a wasps' nest.

0:07:13 > 0:07:21They ran one way, I ran the other way, the wasps followed them and stung them to bits. I was so happy!

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Jo, was it a happy home?

0:07:23 > 0:07:31My parents didn't stay together in the end and I think there were a few rumblings of it not going too well,

0:07:31 > 0:07:35but I think most parents hide that fairly successfully.

0:07:35 > 0:07:41- I've got a little message for you. - Have you?- Yes. - It's not my dad, is it?

0:07:41 > 0:07:46'Jo's mum will make the mince and onion pie of Jo's childhood.'

0:07:46 > 0:07:50When Jo was a little girl, this was her favourite lunch.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54She tells me we used to eat it on a Saturday.

0:07:54 > 0:07:59She had a difficulty when she was first learning to eat solid food.

0:07:59 > 0:08:03- Here we go! - She could never manage roast meat.

0:08:03 > 0:08:08You'd give her the little piece of roast meat, she'd chew it,

0:08:08 > 0:08:12- then she'd tuck it into a pouch at the side.- Oh, God!

0:08:12 > 0:08:17You knew she was carrying on eating her lunch, but still retaining...

0:08:17 > 0:08:23I reckon she was the model child. Her school reports were lovely.

0:08:23 > 0:08:28People were always pleased to see her. She was very sweet-tempered.

0:08:28 > 0:08:35The first real complete sentence she ever said, somebody gave her a sweet and she replied,

0:08:35 > 0:08:40"And one for Billy too," her elder brother. That sums her up as a little girl.

0:08:40 > 0:08:46She always looked very sweet. She looked great in her Brownie uniform.

0:08:46 > 0:08:50- What kind of teenager was she? - That's a different story!

0:08:52 > 0:08:56She'd always been a child who had wanted to please you,

0:08:56 > 0:09:03but it was almost inevitable that there would be changes and she did rebel and roust about.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07I almost never, ever watch her live

0:09:07 > 0:09:09because she loves to be heckled.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13The heckler is a real gift to her.

0:09:13 > 0:09:18But, for me, I'm driven to anger if people are rotten to her.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23It's like watching your child go off the top of the diving board.

0:09:23 > 0:09:28You don't want to look as you don't want anything to happen to them.

0:09:28 > 0:09:35I'm immensely proud of her. I love the fact that she will not be swayed by what is required of women.

0:09:35 > 0:09:40I believe kindness to be the greatest of all the virtues and Jo is very kind.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45- Now, Mum's pie...- Yum-yum!

0:09:45 > 0:09:48So this was a big Saturday treat?

0:09:48 > 0:09:53It was a big great. It was a very regular one as well that...

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Are you having that one?- Yeah.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Showing off was extremely discouraged in our house.

0:09:59 > 0:10:06- My parents would've been glad of it. I hid in a corner. I pretended I wasn't there.- You sound lovely!

0:10:06 > 0:10:14Look at the different sizes! Have you calculated my calorie intake and gone, "I'll give her twice mine"?

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Mum's told us you rebelled a little.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24I can't remember how conscious it was but I got in with the worst group

0:10:24 > 0:10:31and then, of course, the inevitable unsavoury boyfriend who was a local drug dealer.

0:10:31 > 0:10:38I would wait until they had gone to sleep, I'd get out the window in the garage and go to the pub.

0:10:38 > 0:10:44I'd come back in drunk and occasionally I fell on the bonnet of the car.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46They hated the way that I dressed.

0:10:46 > 0:10:52My dad took all my clothes down to the garden, poured petrol over them, set fire to them

0:10:52 > 0:10:55and burnt every item of clothing.

0:10:55 > 0:11:03In the end, they said, "Get rid of him or leave home." That was the opportunity I'd been looking for.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07Presumably, you weren't exactly eating well at that point?

0:11:07 > 0:11:11No, when I left home, I certainly wasn't.

0:11:11 > 0:11:16I had this very chaotic life really. I was in a bedsit.

0:11:16 > 0:11:22- I just ate rubbish, you know. - Kebabs and beans and stuff?

0:11:22 > 0:11:26Yeah, anything that was easy - a tin of soup...

0:11:26 > 0:11:30'So with virtually nothing sensible on Jo's menu as a teenager,

0:11:30 > 0:11:34'here's how to make a student dish healthily - baked beans.

0:11:34 > 0:11:40'When making your bean sauce, add spices, but also throw in some brown sugar.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43'Or use black strap molasses.

0:11:43 > 0:11:48'I'm using haricot beans, but you could try black-eyed beans.

0:11:48 > 0:11:51'Throw in spices like cumin or paprika

0:11:51 > 0:11:55'or you could go hotter with chillis for a Mexican flavour.'

0:11:55 > 0:12:02When you're a teenager, although you know to some extent, if your parents have brought you up that way,

0:12:02 > 0:12:07- that you should eat vegetables and you should eat...- Green things.

0:12:07 > 0:12:11At that point in your life, you just...

0:12:11 > 0:12:15'Another dish out of a tin. Well, not necessarily.

0:12:15 > 0:12:21'Tomato and pepper soup is a colourful dish to make and is incredibly good for you.

0:12:21 > 0:12:26'Roasting the tomatoes and peppers intensifies the flavour.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29'Make sure you add herbs like thyme

0:12:29 > 0:12:34'or you could use rosemary or oregano and cover in olive oil.

0:12:34 > 0:12:39'Blackened peppers give this dish a lovely smoky flavour.

0:12:40 > 0:12:45'Did you know the Elizabethans were wary of tomatoes and peppers?

0:12:45 > 0:12:49'Their redness was seen as a sign of danger.

0:12:49 > 0:12:53'Jo Brand's taste of youth - a healthy tomato and pepper soup,

0:12:53 > 0:12:58'a kebab from down the road and some fish and chips.'

0:12:58 > 0:13:02- You did rebel clothes-wise? - I did. I used to wear...

0:13:02 > 0:13:08- You know that patchouli perfume that you can smell from two miles? - And smells like health food shops?

0:13:08 > 0:13:14Yes, but also a bit of...there's a dead rabbit in your knicks as well.

0:13:14 > 0:13:20I burnt my bra - heated a small village in Scotland for two weeks!

0:13:20 > 0:13:24- Were they quite worried?- They used to come looking for me regularly.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Where would they find you?- In a pub.

0:13:27 > 0:13:33My dad would go in one door as I came out the other cos I had a lot of lookouts!

0:13:33 > 0:13:38- You were in the smoke room and he was in the lounge?- Yeah.

0:13:38 > 0:13:45I got grassed up by my Auntie Reenie once cos she caught me drinking vodka with about six hippies!

0:13:45 > 0:13:51'Still to come, Jo Brand is challenged to make a cake dressed as the singer Morrissey

0:13:51 > 0:13:53'by friend and comic, Harry Hill.'

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Really...

0:13:55 > 0:14:01'Jo's best buddy Jane remembers their college days, making a curry.'

0:14:01 > 0:14:05Very mischievous in many ways that I couldn't repeat.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09'Jo shares her thoughts on the opposite sex.'

0:14:09 > 0:14:15Quite a few blokes say to me, "You hate men, don't you?" I go, "No, I don't, but I hate you!"

0:14:19 > 0:14:21What sort of friend are you?

0:14:21 > 0:14:27Having been a psychiatric nurse, I'm a good listener. I think that's very important.

0:14:27 > 0:14:34So many of my female friends, including myself, had appalling relationships with appalling men.

0:14:34 > 0:14:41It's very difficult not to go, "Let's just go round his house and kill him with a rolling pin!"

0:14:41 > 0:14:45- I've caught up with one of your friends.- Oh, dear.

0:14:45 > 0:14:51'Jo's college friend Jane will take us back to their student days at Brunel University.'

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I will make a vegetable curry.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58A very fun time. We had a brilliant time at Brunel.

0:14:58 > 0:15:04There was about eight men to every woman. It was...interesting times.

0:15:04 > 0:15:09There was quite a lot of beer on our menu.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13Jo was great, real life and soul of the party.

0:15:13 > 0:15:20Such a laugh, very mischievous in many ways that I couldn't possibly repeat on camera at all!

0:15:20 > 0:15:27When Jo qualified as a psychiatric nurse, she went on quite quickly to work in a unit in the Maudsley,

0:15:27 > 0:15:31the Emergency Clinic, which gives you a clue!

0:15:31 > 0:15:37It's really, really stressful and people don't last long in that job,

0:15:37 > 0:15:43but Jo managed it amazingly at the same time as beginning out on the circuit,

0:15:43 > 0:15:50so I suppose tolerating abuse and hostility, it was a seamless kind of pathway.

0:15:50 > 0:15:55I remember when Jo started off on the circuit, I was pathetic.

0:15:55 > 0:16:02I just used to go along and have my hands over my face, kind of crouched down,

0:16:02 > 0:16:05thinking, "I can't bear it!"

0:16:05 > 0:16:09But very proud, obviously, of her courage.

0:16:10 > 0:16:16It was a really rough old world, starting off on the circuit then.

0:16:16 > 0:16:21I think that shines through all of it - Jo's integrity

0:16:21 > 0:16:27as just as a really warm, generous, kind person.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29None of this is true, you know.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32And vulnerable at times with it.

0:16:35 > 0:16:41- It might be- BLEEP - cos I wasn't really concentrating on what I was doing.

0:16:43 > 0:16:47Are you allowed to say that on the telly...? Thank you.

0:16:47 > 0:16:52A lack of portion control going on here. Look at this!

0:16:52 > 0:16:56But meat in curry can be a bit kind of gristly and...

0:16:56 > 0:17:00"Oh, look, they put its ear in!" Do you know what I mean?

0:17:00 > 0:17:05- Or eyes?- Or nostrils?- Have I convinced you, Nigel?- You have.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12'Having spent five years as a psychiatric nurse,

0:17:12 > 0:17:18'Jo finally took the plunge into the world of stand-up in the late '80s.'

0:17:18 > 0:17:24With stand-up, do your best joke first, your second best joke last and put the rubbish in the middle.

0:17:24 > 0:17:29That's what they tend to remember. I used to wear a white T-shirt

0:17:29 > 0:17:35and just before they announced me on, I'd put a blood capsule in my mouth.

0:17:35 > 0:17:41I'd cough blood all over this white T-shirt and go, "Must give up smoking."

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I thought that was hysterical.

0:17:43 > 0:17:48Was there ever a point that you realised that you were a success?

0:17:48 > 0:17:55I suppose that the markers were my first telly which was Friday Night Live.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59I was on with The Pogues and Mark Thomas.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03The Pogues had a fight which was par for the course.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07The sound of smashing furniture. "Oh, showbiz, I've arrived!"

0:18:07 > 0:18:12Did you find that what you were eating, did it change at all?

0:18:12 > 0:18:18We would go to nice restaurants and I'm so rubbish at experimenting,

0:18:18 > 0:18:23me kind of ordering the sort of traditional prawn cocktail,

0:18:23 > 0:18:27- fillet steak type thing.- Yeah.

0:18:27 > 0:18:31That was the meal you would have in Abigail's Party.

0:18:31 > 0:18:36But I love all that food, so I couldn't care less really.

0:18:36 > 0:18:38Exactly. It's all so delicious.

0:18:38 > 0:18:46'Season both sides of your steak and fillet steaks like this one are less flavoursome than other cuts,

0:18:46 > 0:18:50'so making a sauce is generally quite a good idea.

0:18:50 > 0:18:57'Allow your steak to rest a few minutes before serving. Resting it will guarantee it's juicier.

0:18:57 > 0:19:01'Use the leftover juices when preparing the sauce.'

0:19:01 > 0:19:05I did the Edinburgh Festival a lot and went to posh restaurants

0:19:05 > 0:19:11and looking at the menu, thinking, "What's the least horrible thing I can have?"

0:19:11 > 0:19:16I remember at one restaurant pigeon being the least worst option,

0:19:16 > 0:19:20so ordering that and it was revolting.

0:19:20 > 0:19:27I was depressed cos I was bloody hungry. "What's for pudding? Oh, a mint leaf with a block of ice!"

0:19:27 > 0:19:34I love those parties where you get little things with mini burgers in them or little fish and chips.

0:19:34 > 0:19:40- Yeah.- But you have to garner about 12 of them to have a proper meal!

0:19:40 > 0:19:43'I'm making a morel mushroom and wine sauce,

0:19:43 > 0:19:49'but you could try a bearnaise, peppercorn or hollandaise sauce.'

0:20:03 > 0:20:07- This is a nice thing.- Very nice. Is that cooked right for you?

0:20:07 > 0:20:11Hmm... Yes, I think so.

0:20:11 > 0:20:18You did your first performance after a few pints. Would you still have done it if you hadn't got drunk?

0:20:18 > 0:20:23- Probably not.- I would've run away. - If you were drunk, you wouldn't.

0:20:23 > 0:20:27You wouldn't have cared and you couldn't have run!

0:20:27 > 0:20:33When your career first started, you were portrayed in the press as a man-hater.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36I am a man-hater. That was correct!

0:20:37 > 0:20:44Quite a few blokes say to me, "You hate men, don't you?" And I go, "No, I don't, but I hate you!"

0:20:44 > 0:20:47They never see it coming.

0:20:47 > 0:20:52Over the years, people have become very fond of Jo Brand.

0:20:52 > 0:20:58Probably because I've got older and they realise I couldn't knock them out in a fist fight any more!

0:20:58 > 0:21:02There's a lot of stuff around, now I've got married...

0:21:02 > 0:21:09"Phew, I'm not a lesbian after all, a man-hating separatist, feminist one at that,

0:21:09 > 0:21:15"who travels on the tube with my drill looking for men's testicles!"

0:21:15 > 0:21:20- You're almost a national treasure. - I'd rather be a national disgrace.

0:21:20 > 0:21:27Michael Parkinson said I was a national treasure, at which point I had to wee on him!

0:21:30 > 0:21:38- You like a challenge.- All my life has been a challenge. Are you going to give me one I'm going to regret?

0:21:38 > 0:21:43- It's not my challenge, but I caught up with a mate of yours.- Oh, dear.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Hello, Jo.

0:21:47 > 0:21:53It's me, your old friend, Harry Hill. Do you remember at school

0:21:53 > 0:21:59when you used to steal my packed lunch and eat it, and that fight we had over a Penguin biscuit?

0:21:59 > 0:22:04So I hear you're doing this show, A Taste Of My Life.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07They've asked me to give you a challenge.

0:22:07 > 0:22:12I'm a big fan of Morrissey and you're a big fan of cakes.

0:22:12 > 0:22:15- At least, you used to be. - Thanks, Harry!

0:22:15 > 0:22:21I'd like you to make me a cake, bake me a cake, but do it dressed as Morrissey.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26Would you do that for me, Jo? Hmm, yum-yum! Cake!

0:22:26 > 0:22:29It's a lie about the packed lunch.

0:22:31 > 0:22:36- Are you up for that?- Making a cake dressed as Morrissey?- Yeah.- Go on.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48Unfortunately, Jo's had to go, and I'm Morrissey.

0:22:48 > 0:22:53- Harry Hill's challenge.- Yeah, thanks, Harry, you're a mate(!)

0:22:53 > 0:22:59So, some butter and some sugar. You give it a whizz with that.

0:22:59 > 0:23:03- Ready then?- I'm ready. - I'm going to go on to turbo.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- How did you know that was turbo? - It says "turbo" on it!

0:23:09 > 0:23:14- You are coming unstuck. - Me leg's fallen off!

0:23:14 > 0:23:19I'll just do single turbo. Sorry. Come here, you naughty little lumps!

0:23:20 > 0:23:23That lump's a bit naughty.

0:23:23 > 0:23:31- You said that anger when you're on stage is better than indifference from the audience.- Definitely.

0:23:31 > 0:23:38I don't like the psycho murderer, "I'd like you strung up and beaten by the soles of the feet" heckle.

0:23:38 > 0:23:43I knew I'd get heckled and it wouldn't be, "You're so beautiful, will you be my wife?"

0:23:43 > 0:23:49So I had a kind of pre-prepared set of heckle put-downs,

0:23:49 > 0:23:53which went from kind of whimsical to nuclear.

0:23:53 > 0:23:58It's a bit tamer these days. It's very rare that you get this crowd

0:23:58 > 0:24:04of drunken Neanderthal apes, unless you go to Nottingham!

0:24:04 > 0:24:08- You're there now. I'll do the rest by hand.- Hello, Nottingham!

0:24:08 > 0:24:14- I'm impressed. Shall we have some colour?- Red is crushed-up beetles

0:24:14 > 0:24:17and green is a sample from the local hospital.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Which one are we going to add?

0:24:23 > 0:24:27- Lovely. Vampire cake. - That looks great, doesn't it?

0:24:27 > 0:24:32- You're still rebelling. - I can't help it. I am a teenager.

0:24:32 > 0:24:38- That is gorgeous.- Will that do, Nige? Do you want individual, obsessional Smartie placing?

0:24:38 > 0:24:43- Or scatter-gun, Jackson Pollock Smartie placing?- Jackson Pollock.

0:24:43 > 0:24:51- I quite enjoyed that actually cos they go in with a really...- It's so satisfying, it's so satisfying.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Oops!

0:24:57 > 0:25:03- Jane Asher would be proud of that. - Jane Asher would be jealous. - She would be jealous.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05It's beautiful, Nigel. Beautiful.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12# Happy birthday to you... #

0:25:12 > 0:25:18- It's quite tacky as well. There you go.- For Harry.- Harry would like that.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21- He would.- Mm-hm.- Well done.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24'Time for Jo Brand's final feast.'

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Your final feast - what's that?

0:25:27 > 0:25:32- That's beef with a coat on. - Oh, the Beef Wellington!

0:25:36 > 0:25:43'Fry your fillet in hot oil and fry it very quickly in order to brown your meat without drying it.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47'Smother the meat in mustard.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55'Blitz your mushrooms till finely chopped.

0:25:55 > 0:25:59'And I'm adding thyme and parsley to the pate.

0:25:59 > 0:26:04'Cool your meat before laying it on the pastry.

0:26:04 > 0:26:08'Cover the meat with the mushroom pate, wrap it in your pastry

0:26:08 > 0:26:15'and once you've popped it in the oven, you can serve a Beef Wellington either hot or cold.'

0:26:20 > 0:26:24Oh, hurrah for the old working-class prawn cocktail!

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Looks lovely, doesn't it?

0:26:27 > 0:26:31'Prawn cocktail - I'm using langoustines for this one.

0:26:31 > 0:26:37'If you cook them alive, pop them in the freezer to anaesthetise them.

0:26:37 > 0:26:42'Making mayonnaise - make sure your ingredients are at room temperature.

0:26:42 > 0:26:47'Lemon juice is good and stops the avocados from browning.

0:26:47 > 0:26:53'I'm using tarragon vinegar, but a plain white wine vinegar is good. This is Jo Brand's final feast.'

0:26:53 > 0:26:58What do you think about, looking back through what you've eaten?

0:26:58 > 0:27:05When I look back through the food that I've chosen, I'm probably quite a dull person food-wise.

0:27:05 > 0:27:12- But that doesn't bother me.- As well as your TV work, you've written three novels, you play the organ.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16"Ish." My repertoire is only about 37 seconds long.

0:27:16 > 0:27:20I'm trying to extend it, so I could do a short wedding.

0:27:20 > 0:27:26- Is there anything you'd like to have done?- I'd quite like to be Prime Minister.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29That probably is slightly hard work,

0:27:29 > 0:27:34so if I don't go into politics, I'll try and win Strictly Come Dancing.

0:27:34 > 0:27:39- I fancy a thin bloke trying to throw me up in the air!- Look at you!

0:27:39 > 0:27:43- This is your final feast! - I know, but I love vegetables,

0:27:43 > 0:27:47which is politically unacceptable for a fat person.

0:27:47 > 0:27:55- Anything you've done that you regret or anything you regret not doing? - I've done lots of appalling things.

0:27:55 > 0:28:00- But I'm not telling you what they are.- Tell me later.- All right.

0:28:00 > 0:28:07I don't suppose I'll be able to say I regret anything until I'm about to die and hopefully that's not now!

0:28:07 > 0:28:12What's the best bit of everything that you've done over the years?

0:28:12 > 0:28:16When I won Miss World in 1971, I'm pleased with that(!)

0:28:16 > 0:28:24- Have you enjoyed today?- I have immensely. I'm a bit hungry still. - You have a little bit left to eat.

0:28:24 > 0:28:30- I've had a fantastic time. - Jo Brand, thank you very much for being a guest on Taste Of My Life.

0:28:30 > 0:28:34- Cheers.- To you.- I forgot to tell you I was a vegetarian!- Oh!

0:28:49 > 0:28:53Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd 2008

0:28:53 > 0:28:56Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk