0:00:02 > 0:00:05"Pilchard! A thousand times as good as herring!
0:00:05 > 0:00:07"Pilchard! The idol of a Popish nation!
0:00:07 > 0:00:09"Hail, little instrument of vast salvation!
0:00:09 > 0:00:13"Pilchard, I ween, a most soul-saving fish,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15"On which the Catholics in Lent are cramm'd;
0:00:15 > 0:00:18"Who had they not, poor souls, this lively fish
0:00:18 > 0:00:21"Would eat flesh, and consequently be damn'd."
0:00:21 > 0:00:23This is crazy, isn't it? Absolutely stupid!
0:00:23 > 0:00:25What we're really going to do here this morning,
0:00:25 > 0:00:28we're going to set up a nice little white table,
0:00:28 > 0:00:29tablecloth, bottle of wine,
0:00:29 > 0:00:32some flowers... Oops-a-daisy. Don't worry about that.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34..a few flowers, and have a nice little snack
0:00:34 > 0:00:36and talk about pilchards.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38But, on second thoughts...
0:00:38 > 0:00:42MUSIC: "Waltz In Black" The Stranglers
0:01:20 > 0:01:23As you can see, if you think I'll stay here and talk about pilchards,
0:01:23 > 0:01:26you must be out of your tiny minds. This is absolute madness.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28I'll hitch a ride with my mate Enzo, who's a pilchard expert,
0:01:28 > 0:01:32and talk about it in the comfort of his little bar.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Great.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39MUSIC: "Non Piu Andrai" Mozart
0:01:47 > 0:01:49'Why, whenever we come to Cornwall-
0:01:49 > 0:01:51'and this whole programme is in Cornwall -
0:01:51 > 0:01:53'does it always blow a gale?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'You might have gathered that my director has to throw a six
0:01:56 > 0:01:57'before he starts thinking,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59'especially when it comes to pilchards.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02'You remember the debacle of the last time we tried to find them.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04'Apart from the weather, he has got his act together,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07'so here we go - pilchards mark two.'
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Hello. How are you?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Sorry we missed you on the fishcakes.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Well, in this weather, I didn't stay very long.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17This is the place to be. It certainly is.
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Pilchards. Right, did you find any?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21No, of course we didn't. No? The last time we went out
0:02:21 > 0:02:23with some Cornish dogs - old seadogs -
0:02:23 > 0:02:24we caught three. That was all.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27And they said, "We catch tonnes of them." I haven't seen any.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30They come and they go. The only way to really keep pilchards
0:02:30 > 0:02:33is to have them salted and this is how we do them in Cornwall.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Don't they look beautiful.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38This is exactly the same way they've been done for just over 100 years.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41This is a quarter cask. The fish are salted
0:02:41 > 0:02:43and then pressed to get all the oil out.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46Why can't I go to my local delicatessen and buy some?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49We have a job selling them in England. It's a beautiful fish.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Enzo, being Italian, knows how they are. We send the whole lot to Italy.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Year after year, we send them to Italy and they love them.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57The way the Italians do it - we had a lady in the shop last week -
0:02:57 > 0:02:59and everybody knew how to do pilchards.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02There it is salted. How many of you know how to do pilchards?
0:03:02 > 0:03:03They don't, do they?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05This is one way of doing it. You take the head off,
0:03:05 > 0:03:08you just take the gut out...
0:03:08 > 0:03:11These are preserved with the gut in them?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14With the gut in. It might upset you but that's what happening.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17There's a salted fish, very similar in taste to an anchovy,
0:03:17 > 0:03:20you just wrap it up in tinfoil and put it in the embers of your fire.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Richard, come to me. Come to me.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Because we've heard from Nick all about that kind of thing
0:03:26 > 0:03:28but how do we eat them, how do we prepare them?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31I want to introduce my friend Enzo. You saw his van earlier on today.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Enzo, thanks for letting us come here.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37And cheers, it's really nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Tell me about what you do with pilchards.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45In Naples, what we do is soak them in vinegar...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47for a couple of days. These are Nick's salted ones?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Yes, we don't do them in Italy, they all come from England.
0:03:50 > 0:03:55And we prepare them and after a couple of days...
0:03:55 > 0:03:58we prepare them as an hors d'oeuvre.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You can mix them with anything you want -
0:04:00 > 0:04:06potatoes, haricot beans, artichokes, and make a nice hors d'oeuvre.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Years ago, in my father's time,
0:04:09 > 0:04:11when there was no television,
0:04:11 > 0:04:13people used to play cards
0:04:13 > 0:04:16and in the middle of the table
0:04:16 > 0:04:18there were pilchards or sardines, things like this,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21with a good glass of red wine to go with it.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Of course, with a highly flavoured fish like this,
0:04:24 > 0:04:27you wouldn't drink a delicate white wine - you want a rumbustious...
0:04:27 > 0:04:28This Barbaresco is splendid.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30It's a good wine.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32But antipasta, let me explain...
0:04:32 > 0:04:34antipasta, of which this is one kind,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37there are many, many others. If you'd like to come over here
0:04:37 > 0:04:41you can see some of the things that Enzo has prepared for us
0:04:41 > 0:04:43by way of hors d'oeuvre, by way of antipasta.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Those are sardines, fried,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49and then we do a sauce with...
0:04:49 > 0:04:52garlic, mint, vinegar,
0:04:52 > 0:04:53maybe black pepper
0:04:53 > 0:04:55and you serve them cold.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58They look absolutely fantastic. Richard, look at this.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59This is brilliant.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Mmm...!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Garlic, mint, lemon juice
0:05:04 > 0:05:06and vinegar and oil
0:05:06 > 0:05:10into a fried sardine which, at 4½ inches, becomes a pilchard.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Didn't know that, did you?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Mm! Bring on the next one. What have you got next?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Peppers. Peperonata.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Now, here's one for the vegetarians. Yes.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Peppers...
0:05:24 > 0:05:28cooked with onions, garlic, black olives,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30maybe parsley
0:05:30 > 0:05:33and maybe just a touch of oregano.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37That, my dear gastronauts,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40should satisfy all of you who are vegetarians.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Why have a pile of brown rice or stale spaghetti
0:05:43 > 0:05:46when you can have super-duper peppers cooked that way.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47That's absolutely brilliant.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Sunshine dish. THE sunshine dish.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Mmm...
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Would you like to try some octopus?
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I would. I'd love octopus.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02That's octopus. They've got to be boiled.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04When you boil them,
0:06:04 > 0:06:08you put a cork in it. You put a cork in it?! Yes.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I don't know if it's superstition - I never try different
0:06:10 > 0:06:13because my mama told me to do it like that.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15For the first 25 minutes,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17you don't take the lid off the saucepan
0:06:17 > 0:06:21because they get tough. It's got to be for 25 minutes like that.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Brilliant! Superstition or because "the way my mama told me to do it",
0:06:25 > 0:06:27you must boil your octopus with a lid on it
0:06:27 > 0:06:30with a CORK inside - essential.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Then you strain it and make a wonderful dressing
0:06:33 > 0:06:36of peppers, lemon juice, parsley and garlic.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38And, boy, oh, boy, isn't this fun?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Richard, come back down to my plate.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44I've mixed my fish, and my peppers,
0:06:44 > 0:06:47and my octopus and the essential thing here
0:06:47 > 0:06:50is a piece of bread to dip up the sauces with
0:06:50 > 0:06:52because... Come back to me, my dear.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54..one of the things I find sad about English cooking -
0:06:54 > 0:06:57we spend more time on our place settings,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00and our elegant crystal, and our fine decanters
0:07:00 > 0:07:03than we do on what's actually on the plate.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05This is the way to eat, my friends.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07I hope you're enjoying it like we are.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Pilchard.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Red mullet.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20And some prawns.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25What I do, I usually...
0:07:27 > 0:07:29finish to dress...
0:07:29 > 0:07:30with the sauce.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36As I said, it's all in garlic, vinegar,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38parsley and mint.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42Then it's absolutely ready for you to try, Keith.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Oh, Enzo, Enzo, Enzo, that is fantastic! Thank you very much.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Use your finger. I will. I will.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50People spend too much time with the knife and fork.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Prawns should be eaten with the finger.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Actually, it's quite true.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58This is how you eat a prawn - you rip off the head,
0:07:58 > 0:08:01even though it's burning my fingers, peel off the skin...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I don't feel anything. You feel no pain? No.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05There's no pain in good fun, is there?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Mm, beautiful.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11For your hand. Thank you.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16For one thing, that is a beautiful, beautiful dish -
0:08:16 > 0:08:17no question about it.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Do people in your restaurant react properly to that?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23Do they get frightened about heads and things? All the time!
0:08:23 > 0:08:25All the time - head off, tail off.
0:08:25 > 0:08:30They make so much fuss instead of sitting down and enjoying themselves.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33When my mum was here last month,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35she saw somebody
0:08:35 > 0:08:38eating king prawns with a knife and fork and she was going mad.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40"What are they doing?!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43"They should eat with their finger." Like mussels,
0:08:43 > 0:08:47they try not to get dirty their T-shirt or tie.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51That's stupid. People should make noise and be rude.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53That's the way to enjoy food,
0:08:53 > 0:08:55not to look elegant, I personally think so.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57You're so right.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Listen, step out the way. Let's have
0:08:59 > 0:09:02a look at these other brilliant things that we've got here.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Enzo, talk me through these,
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Tell me what these are made of. This is aubergine.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I peel them then fry
0:09:09 > 0:09:11and slice.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16When they're cold, I put some ham and mozzarella cheese...
0:09:16 > 0:09:18That's the mozzarella cheese.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20There's the ham underneath.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22..tomato sauce and Parmesan cheese on top.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26Then bake it again until the cheese has melted.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29This is courgette.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33The stuffing is as we do in Naples with cannelloni.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36But instead to use pasta,
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I use courgette.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39It looks more interesting.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43The stuffing is... You saute the onions,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45then you put minced meat in it,
0:09:45 > 0:09:47white wine, salt and pepper,
0:09:47 > 0:09:52and then mix with cheese - mozzarella, Cheddar, Parmesan -
0:09:52 > 0:09:54and you stuff the courgette and bake it again.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Sorry about that. Bye.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00If the pictures don't tell you, I can't.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02It's absolutely lovely.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04MUSIC: "Waltz In Black" The Stranglers
0:10:14 > 0:10:15'And here's another one of me
0:10:15 > 0:10:18'having a bracing stroll along the cliffs to clear my head
0:10:18 > 0:10:20'before meeting the restaurateur Ann Long.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22'Actually I don't like walking.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25'They make me do it to satisfy the director's obsession
0:10:25 > 0:10:27'with tin mines and landscapes.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28'I reckon he thinks he's David Lean.'
0:10:28 > 0:10:32# The king was in his counting house
0:10:32 > 0:10:33# Counting out the money
0:10:33 > 0:10:36# I am in the kitchen thinking... #
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Yes, as a matter of fact, hello, I AM in a counting house.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I'm in THE Counting House in Bottallack,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44right on the edge of Cornwall with the sea over there
0:10:44 > 0:10:46and the wind blowing us all over the place,
0:10:46 > 0:10:47and today I'll cook you a rabbit.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Because my director tells me -
0:10:49 > 0:10:53I don't believe everything he says - all tin miners used to eat rabbits
0:10:53 > 0:10:55in the olden days. But we don't eat them any more
0:10:55 > 0:10:59and that's a great shame - they're cheap, economical and delicious.
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Richard,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03if you come down to my ingredients I'll explain what we'll have.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05First, some chopped, fatty bacon,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07some finely diced carrot...
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Ha-ha! That's not carrot, is it? That's onion!
0:11:10 > 0:11:12THEY LAUGH
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Never mind, it doesn't matter, we all make mistakes.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18If you can't tell the difference between onion and carrot,
0:11:18 > 0:11:21switch over to Sesame Street or back to Crossroads, or whatever.
0:11:21 > 0:11:22If you're interested,
0:11:22 > 0:11:24rabbit, then a bay leaf,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26fresh rosemary,
0:11:26 > 0:11:27chervil
0:11:27 > 0:11:28and some thyme,
0:11:28 > 0:11:31some prunes, which we've had soaking in white wine
0:11:31 > 0:11:33but you could soak in tea or water if you wanted to.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35We'll need a drop of cognac later
0:11:35 > 0:11:37and white wine for cooking in.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Then, I've rolled up some butter and flour
0:11:40 > 0:11:42for thickening the sauce,
0:11:42 > 0:11:44parsley, tomato puree,
0:11:44 > 0:11:46finely chopped garlic
0:11:46 > 0:11:48and the liver and heart from the rabbit
0:11:48 > 0:11:50which we'll put into the sauce.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53OK, Richard, come on over
0:11:53 > 0:11:54and we'll get things going.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57This is the pan it will all go in.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59A quick slurp here and a quick slurp there.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03In we get the bacon, maximise the speed of the gas burner.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05That's all right.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07In with the onions.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10And in with the carrot.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11In a few moments,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13those will start to bubble away.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16In fact they're not going to, are they?
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Yes, sorry about that, a bit of a slow take-off.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23I wasn't up to frying speed. We are now, everything's going fine.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27As you can see, it's bubbling nicely away, turning golden.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29And it's at this stage... Ow! Burnt myself.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32That'll delight you. Put the rabbit in...
0:12:32 > 0:12:34like this.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36SIZZLING
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Oil and bacon...
0:12:38 > 0:12:40some bits of onion.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Stay there, please, Richard.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45A quick grind of pepper over all of that.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Like so.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Brown these off very quickly...
0:12:57 > 0:12:58and then...
0:13:00 > 0:13:04Because this is the good, fun way of doing things,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06in we go with...
0:13:06 > 0:13:07There we are!
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Hooray!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14In with the garlic.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19In with our bay leaf,
0:13:19 > 0:13:22little bit of rosemary,
0:13:22 > 0:13:24little bit of thyme...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28little bit of chervil. Doesn't that look really attractive?
0:13:30 > 0:13:35Little bit of parsley, in with our prunes.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Like that.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Drop of white wine.
0:13:39 > 0:13:44I hope you can hear me above all this fizzling and...fuzzling.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46A little bit of white wine.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51A tiny bit of tomato puree. Stir that in...
0:13:58 > 0:13:59..like so.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03A tiny pinch of salt
0:14:03 > 0:14:05into the sauce.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10Our rabbit's liver to give the stock flavour and...
0:14:12 > 0:14:14..we now just let that simmer gently away,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16turning from time to time. Richard,
0:14:16 > 0:14:19I think they've seen enough of that. I haven't got all day.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23Let that simmer gently for about, I don't know, 35 minutes.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Every now and again, turn the rabbit over.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I'm going for a walk out in the countryside.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Actually, I'm going down the pub for a quick one.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31You're going for a walk in the countryside,
0:14:31 > 0:14:34or whatever these whimsical, brilliant directors dream up -
0:14:34 > 0:14:37probably a jog across the moors. See you in a little while.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02A lot of you think I have a fantastically good time
0:15:02 > 0:15:04just drifting around the southwest of England, cooking, drinking,
0:15:04 > 0:15:06and eating and stuff like that.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Sometimes, I just can't think of what to say
0:15:09 > 0:15:10and today is one of those things.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14I don't really know how to introduce this rabbit, which I've cooked.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I know it's cooked properly, I know it is delicious.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18I am a bit worried that my friend, Ann here,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21halfway through the cooking told me, "I don't like meat with bones on."
0:15:21 > 0:15:23I don't know how I'm getting over that. Ann... Yes.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26..never mind all of that, would you please try it... I'd love to.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29despite the fact that you are bit worried about the bone?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32I know your style of cooking is much more refined
0:15:32 > 0:15:34than my style of cooking, isn't it?
0:15:34 > 0:15:38Not any better though. What are you doing after the show?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40LAUGHTER
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Tell me a bit about the way you like to cook.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46I really find bones very irritating.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50I think that reflects in all my cooking. So I would tend...
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Mind you, that looks beautiful. Thank you. Very nice indeed.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59I would tend to bone a rabbit and then cook it
0:15:59 > 0:16:02and then slice it so that you have a stuffing
0:16:02 > 0:16:06with the skin all round it. I must say, I agree with you.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09But you are a professional and dedicated cook.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12A lot of people don't have time for what
0:16:12 > 0:16:15they think is that prissy approach to things.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17How would you say about the fact it would be better
0:16:17 > 0:16:22that they made better use of simple ingredients like a rabbit at least?
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I think the difference is that that is superb,
0:16:25 > 0:16:28but people are paying to come and eat my food. Precisely.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32So therefore I feel that I owe it to people to present it
0:16:32 > 0:16:35and spend a lot of time on cooking it and preparing it.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39A lot of kids... One of the funny things about the Floyd programmes
0:16:39 > 0:16:41is we've attracted the attention of children.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45I mean children from seven-years-old to young college students,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48who are desperately enthusiastic about cooking and eating,
0:16:48 > 0:16:51but it seems to me they're not going to have a lot of chance
0:16:51 > 0:16:52in getting to open their own restaurant
0:16:52 > 0:16:54because nobody is encouraging them.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Oh. What can we do for kids?
0:16:56 > 0:17:02Oh, no. Well, I think today you ought to encourage youngsters to help.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07I belong to the Master Chefs Association and they are trying
0:17:07 > 0:17:11to encourage youngsters to come and learn to cook in kitchens.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14I would like to go and cook in famous chefs' kitchens!
0:17:14 > 0:17:20I'm sure that nobody who... anybody that really enjoys cooking,
0:17:20 > 0:17:23they would love to show youngsters how to do things.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27I think that I get so enthusiastic about it that I would love somebody
0:17:27 > 0:17:31to come and bang on the door and then you would show them all about it.
0:17:31 > 0:17:36I haven't got a deep freeze full of inexhaustible things. Hooray to that.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38A lot of you could take a lesson from that.
0:17:38 > 0:17:39This place is in the middle of nowhere,
0:17:39 > 0:17:41in fact only halfway in the middle of nowhere
0:17:41 > 0:17:44because the rest of it doesn't exist - if you see what I mean.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45She hasn't got a deep freeze.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49Too many people live out of the deep freeze, don't they? I think so.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53And they make too much use of microwaves. You've got...
0:17:53 > 0:17:56That's my advertising contract gone. Never mind.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59LAUGHTER
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I despise microwaves too. It's a genuine thing. I really hate them.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05I haven't got one at home.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10MUSIC: "Peaches" The Stranglers
0:18:14 > 0:18:16'For many, a day at the seaside
0:18:16 > 0:18:18'means eating hamburgers and ice cream.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22'Which is a shame when there are so many other wonderful things
0:18:22 > 0:18:26'like crabs, lobsters, shrimps, prawns, cockles and mussels.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29'It is an even greater shame that the BBC can't or won't afford to
0:18:29 > 0:18:30'buy them for this next scene.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33'So I've had to think a bit to get something a little unusual,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36'and cheap, to confuse my old friend Rick Stein with,
0:18:36 > 0:18:39'who I think is still recovering from our last meeting.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42'But he's a good sport and he'll be thrilled with this little beast
0:18:42 > 0:18:45'and is bound to know how to cook a shark, aren't you, Rick?'
0:18:45 > 0:18:48I'm going to take a couple of nice steaks off here, which we're
0:18:48 > 0:18:52going to, as you know, grill on the charcoal grill.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55It's like meat, isn't it? It is. It's incredible.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57We need another knife. You keep chopping. OK.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59We need that skin off the edge, don't we?
0:18:59 > 0:19:05I'm not too fussed. It comes away nicely when it's cooked.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Beautiful. There we are. That is a shark steak.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Excuse my finger - I had an accident with an old lady
0:19:11 > 0:19:12crossing the road late last night.
0:19:12 > 0:19:13I would have made it all right
0:19:13 > 0:19:16but she trod on my hands as I was trying to get into the hotel.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Anyway, there we have a beautiful shark steak,
0:19:18 > 0:19:20which... Stay there, Richard.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22..I will bring this over to you.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24This is a marinade which Rick has prepared.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26What is in the marinade, Rick?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Olive oil, a little bit of lemon juice, salt and pepper,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32chopped fennel, a bay leaf and a bit of thyme. Nothing too complicated.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35So we're going to stick those in there.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Were going to leave them in there
0:19:38 > 0:19:40for about an hour before we cook them.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Anyway, before we do that,
0:19:44 > 0:19:46we're going to have a look at this monkfish.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Rick, why have we got a monkfish? And why with the head?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Because we never see them with the head. No. No.
0:19:51 > 0:19:56I purposely bought it with the head to show you one or two
0:19:56 > 0:19:57things about the monkfish.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00This actual monkfish weighs about 20 pounds.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04If you bought the tail, you'd buy about 7-8lb.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08So, 13-14lb of weight is the head.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12It's always thrown away in England, which is a tremendous shame,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15because there's enormous pieces of beautiful meat -
0:20:15 > 0:20:18which, in France, that's the best part of the monkfish - on the cheeks.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22And the head makes an absolutely wonderful fish fumet.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24So, if you were going to cut out these little cheeks...
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Yes. ..these are sort of fillets, if you like, in layman's terms. Yes.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Succulent fillets. Succulent is the word.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32And what would be the thing to do?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Perhaps just dredge them lightly in butter
0:20:34 > 0:20:36and saute them in butter and fresh
0:20:36 > 0:20:39lemon juice or something of that kind, or...? I think you said
0:20:39 > 0:20:41in your book, which I totally agree with,
0:20:41 > 0:20:44that monkfish doesn't take cream sauces very well.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46I mean, I bought this because I'm going to cook it
0:20:46 > 0:20:49on the charcoal grill, which it goes very well on.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Erm, I think it's a fish for fairly harsh treatment, really.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Sauteing in butter - fine, really nice. Yes. Grilling as well.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01And grilling, too? Yes. Anyway, let's get back to our shark again.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03We'd better get these over to the grill.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'll take them over, if you like. OK. Fine.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Ah, that's what I like to see. Yeah, lovely. Really...
0:21:09 > 0:21:12really, really hot grill there.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Yes. Now, that's right, isn't it?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17The thing about these grills is, OK, people get very...
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Purists get very sort of... er, difficult about the fact
0:21:21 > 0:21:25that this isn't a pure charcoal grill, it's a pumice stone grill.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28But the thing is, it's always hot, OK?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32It's always hot, and that is the most important thing
0:21:32 > 0:21:35about charcoal cookery, if you like. Or any kind of, er,
0:21:35 > 0:21:35about charcoal cookery, if you like. Or any kind of, er,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37grilling that you're doing -
0:21:37 > 0:21:40whether it's a flat piece of cast iron in your fireplace,
0:21:40 > 0:21:43a Boy Scout stove you've made on the beach,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46you must have those coals hot before you attempt what is,
0:21:46 > 0:21:49in fact, essentially a very rapid cooking process. Yes, yes.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52So, how are we doing? Well, we're doing well. In fact,
0:21:52 > 0:21:56I'd just give it a little bit longer. The thing is, with fish,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59because it's quite delicate - although shark is the tougher
0:21:59 > 0:22:02end of the fish spectrum -
0:22:02 > 0:22:06it's better just to leave it on there to get the, er,
0:22:06 > 0:22:10grill marks really well seared, otherwise when you try and
0:22:10 > 0:22:13turn it over, it will stick to the grill bars.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15I'm learning something every day!
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Marvellous! So, they've got to go over now, haven't they? Yep.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21They're freed. Marvellous. Marvellous!
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Now, that looks really, superbly appetising. Now, then, come on,
0:22:27 > 0:22:31tell us about what we've got here. Well, that's some dried marjoram
0:22:31 > 0:22:35and some fennel twigs, a bit of fresh fennel and some dried bay leaves.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38From where? Well, all from my garden, except for these,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41which I actually got from a sort of nearby hedgerow.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44What are these? How tall are these when they're in the hedgerow?
0:22:44 > 0:22:47These are fabulous. You grill bass on them, you cook all sorts
0:22:47 > 0:22:49of things on these. If ever you see these in the hedgerow,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52pick 'em, take 'em home, dry 'em...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54And make sure it's fennel and not hemlock! Right.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57We've got to get that flavour into the shark.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Right, well, I'm just going to sort of bung 'em generally down here,
0:23:00 > 0:23:04get some smoke round here. I'm going to put some of those branches
0:23:04 > 0:23:06around the fennel thing as well.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08What are you doing?! Well, I just thought,
0:23:08 > 0:23:10because you're fiddling about there... Yeah.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13..we could fasten this up a little bit. Right.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16A little flash like that would get your herbs going more quickly
0:23:16 > 0:23:19and release the flavours. Right. Absolutely.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Just a little tiny fraction more.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24See, this is something you can do with a grill, isn't it? It is.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Put anything you like on.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28A bit of sawdust, if you're cooking a steak,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30and nice herbs like this if you're doing fish. Indeed.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33So, while that is cooking, we're going to make a sweet-and-sour,
0:23:33 > 0:23:35piquant tomato sauce to go with this shark.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Richard, come down to the tray of ingredients here -
0:23:38 > 0:23:42a quick spin round. We've got peeled and chopped tomato,
0:23:42 > 0:23:44bay leaf, salt,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47black peppercorns, brown sugar,
0:23:47 > 0:23:49strong mustard,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52chopped garlic, chopped shallots, and then we have a choice
0:23:52 > 0:23:55of, er, Worcester sauce, pepper sauce,
0:23:55 > 0:23:58a drop of medium sweet sherry
0:23:58 > 0:24:00and olive oil - those are my ingredients. Stay with me,
0:24:00 > 0:24:02and as quick as a flash...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Oh, and some vinegar, which I've lost somewhere.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07There it is. Stay where you are, here's the vinegar.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09The first thing that goes into this pan -
0:24:09 > 0:24:11best laid plans of mice and men...
0:24:11 > 0:24:14PAN SIZZLES ..is vinegar!
0:24:14 > 0:24:16In with the shallots.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20In with some garlic.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Maximum heat, because we want to reduce that to almost nothing.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Can you hear me above the fizzing and the fire?
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Floyd on fire, this is, no question about it! In with a bit of
0:24:31 > 0:24:33olive oil, like that.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Have I got the heat going to the maximum? Yes.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Tomato into there...
0:24:39 > 0:24:41like that.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43A bay leaf,
0:24:43 > 0:24:47a couple of peppercorns. Don't worry about the coarseness of all this,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49because we're going to strain it later.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Worcester sauce...
0:24:51 > 0:24:54like this. Notice that any of you who want to say, "Now,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57"how much exactly did you put in?"
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Well, I'm just putting in what I feel is right,
0:25:00 > 0:25:04and I shall taste it. Some sherry to go into there.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06A little bit of salt.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09A squeeze of lemon juice.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Now, if we were in Provence, or if this was
0:25:11 > 0:25:15high summer, we'd have really ripe, luscious red tomatoes.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18We haven't. So, to take away the slightly anaemic,
0:25:18 > 0:25:21er, colour of the winter tomatoes...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23You'll probably be seeing this in the height of summer,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26but this was made in the winter, you see.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29..we're going to strengthen it with some tomato puree.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Now, all we've got to do -
0:25:31 > 0:25:34because we never cheat on the Floyd programme,
0:25:34 > 0:25:37we cook in real time, we don't take it out of the oven...
0:25:37 > 0:25:40That bubbles away once the heat gets to it,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43I have a drink, and we'll be back with the next phase
0:25:43 > 0:25:45in, what? A flash.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49That was jolly witty, wasn't it? Ha-ha!
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Director likes things like that. Anyway,
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Rick, here we are, the sauce is now completed,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57it's been reducing away for 15 minutes or so.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59We pour it onto the plate through a sieve.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Rick is now going to roll it round like that.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05That's a beautiful sweet-and-sour sauce...
0:26:07 > 0:26:09..on there. And what could be better? Do you want a taste?
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Yeah, damn right I do.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14I want your honest opinion, as usual, on my sauce, because
0:26:14 > 0:26:17you wanted to put a vinaigrette on it, didn't you? I did.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21That's very nice. What do reckon, me old beauty?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I think it's lovely!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29'Will the intrepid cantering cooks prepare the meal in time?
0:26:31 > 0:26:33'Will the O.K. Chorale be in tune?'
0:26:33 > 0:26:35SILENT MOVIE-STYLE MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT
0:26:35 > 0:26:37'Will this barbecue scene
0:26:37 > 0:26:39'serve as a plug for my new book?
0:26:40 > 0:26:42'Will shark become more popular than scampi?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47'Will Keith Floyd shut up and get on with it?'
0:26:47 > 0:26:49OK, I've done my bit - the Hemingway-style,
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Rick Stein shark steaks.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55But my mates, the Close Clifton Harmony O.K. Chaps Chorale Singers,
0:26:55 > 0:26:57are going to sing for their supper.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59A-one, two, three...
0:26:59 > 0:27:00WHISTLING INTRO
0:27:00 > 0:27:05# Do, do, do-do, do-do-do
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# Ain't no fish
0:27:07 > 0:27:11# Ain't no tuna, ain't no fish Oh, holy mackerel
0:27:11 > 0:27:15# Some days, there just ain't no fish
0:27:15 > 0:27:16# Ain't no perch
0:27:16 > 0:27:21# Ain't no flounder flounder for fish
0:27:21 > 0:27:22# Ain't no fish
0:27:22 > 0:27:26# And although at times we get a mess full
0:27:26 > 0:27:29# Other days are less successful
0:27:29 > 0:27:32# Some days there just ain't no fish
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# Do, bee-dle, eedle, ah-bah-bah
0:27:34 > 0:27:37# Tomorrow... #
0:27:39 > 0:27:42What?!
0:27:42 > 0:27:43Oh, God!
0:27:43 > 0:27:44Madness!
0:27:46 > 0:27:48# ..Oh, holy mackerel
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# Wish for a catch every day
0:27:51 > 0:27:52# And you're wasting a wish
0:27:52 > 0:27:56# For some days there just ain't no fish
0:27:56 > 0:27:59# No fish, no fish no fish, no fish
0:27:59 > 0:28:02# Some days there just ain't no fish
0:28:04 > 0:28:09# Some days, there just ain't no fish
0:28:09 > 0:28:15# Go get 'em, Floyd! #
0:28:15 > 0:28:17That, actually... Steady, lads, you can't eat yet, sorry.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20That does in fact bring us to the end of another dynamic
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Floyd programme, and next week, we'll be doing something
0:28:23 > 0:28:27equally stupid, off-the-wall - pigeons, pigs, fiddlers, tax men,
0:28:27 > 0:28:30chicken and chips - I don't know what, exactly.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32I'd like to thank the nearly O.K. Chorale
0:28:32 > 0:28:34for helping us out today. And lads,
0:28:34 > 0:28:37would you give me 30 seconds of music, please, so we can roll out
0:28:37 > 0:28:40the thing that says, "By Keith Floyd, presented by Keith Floyd,
0:28:40 > 0:28:43"with Rick Stein...and Keith Floyd, and David Pritchard..."
0:28:43 > 0:28:46See you next week! One, two, a-three...!
0:28:46 > 0:28:50# Hallelu-jah!
0:28:50 > 0:28:52# Bones, dem bones, dem
0:28:52 > 0:28:54# Fish bones
0:28:54 > 0:29:01# Hallelujah
0:29:01 > 0:29:09# Them bones, them bones them...fish bones
0:29:09 > 0:29:11# Oh, hear the word of the Floyd Oh, yeah
0:29:11 > 0:29:19# Oh, Floyd disconnected and... fish bones
0:29:19 > 0:29:21# Oh, hear the word of the Floyd Fish bones
0:29:21 > 0:29:24# Oh, hear the word of the Floyd
0:29:24 > 0:29:26# Oh, Floyd disconnected and Fish bones
0:29:26 > 0:29:29# Do you hear me, brother Ricky? Yeah, yeah
0:29:29 > 0:29:31# Do you hear me, sister Annie? Yeah, yeah
0:29:31 > 0:29:33# Oh, hear the word of the 'loyd. #
0:29:33 > 0:29:35That's it, that's enough...