0:00:03 > 0:00:06'Dave, are we ready for another two wheeled adventure, mate?
0:00:06 > 0:00:08'I'm ready. I'm ready for a cuppa!
0:00:08 > 0:00:12'Well, we're heading for the right place, then...
0:00:12 > 0:00:16'the Henley Royal Regatta. Let's bake up a proper tea.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18'Going posh then, are we?
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'I need to dust off me blazer and me boater.'
0:00:24 > 0:00:26On this trip, we'll get out the best china
0:00:26 > 0:00:30and put on a fancy tea for the guys from the Tees Rowing Club.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33'That's my neck of the woods, that! On the menu -
0:00:33 > 0:00:36'super chocolatey cookies baked right there on the river's edge.'
0:00:36 > 0:00:40It's a teatime treat to end all treats.
0:00:40 > 0:00:41It's a teatime treat for toffs.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44We'll get classy with a classic - the scone.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Butter on one's scone.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52And jam up our cakes, filling the air with the waft of bikers baking.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02# Oh, the factories may be roaring
0:01:02 > 0:01:04# With a boom-a-lacka zoom-a-lacka, whee!
0:01:04 > 0:01:08# But there isn't any roar when the clock strikes four
0:01:08 > 0:01:10# Everything stops for tea... #
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Nice!- Isn't it?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Four o'clock. It's time for tea.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19'Now, if a couple of northern lads are going to really impress
0:01:19 > 0:01:22'the Henley crowd, we need to do it right.
0:01:22 > 0:01:28'I mean, afternoon tea - it isn't a meal, it's a ritual.'
0:01:28 > 0:01:31This swanky hotel at Marlow-on-Thames
0:01:31 > 0:01:33puts on a good spread.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38'But you know what, Si, although we British love
0:01:38 > 0:01:42'a naughty nibble in the afternoon, it wasn't always like that.'
0:01:45 > 0:01:47Afternoon tea is an art form.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51The tradition of afternoon tea is said to have been started
0:01:51 > 0:01:54by the Duchess Anne Marie.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Dinner got later and later.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Sometimes they didn't eat until ten o'clock
0:02:00 > 0:02:03so the ladies needed something sweet,
0:02:03 > 0:02:07and with tea coming in as a fashion,
0:02:07 > 0:02:10afternoon tea was born so they could sustain themselves until dinner.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Oh, I see. It wouldn't have anything to do
0:02:12 > 0:02:15with the tightness of the corsets, by any chance?
0:02:15 > 0:02:20The menu would have been dainty cakes, sandwiches and biscuits.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23At least the ladies wouldn't have smudged their make-up.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Or your beard, come to that.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It became quite a tradition.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Cock your pinkie!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35'That was a corker of a tea.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39'You know, one thing we should bake for Henley, the Bakewell tart.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41'All gooey, jammy and almondy. Lovely!'
0:02:41 > 0:02:44MUSIC: "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies
0:02:44 > 0:02:47# Oh, honey, honey... #
0:02:49 > 0:02:51'So, on up to Bakewell in the Peak District
0:02:51 > 0:02:54'in search of one of my favourites -
0:02:54 > 0:02:56'the Bakewell tart.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58'Or pudding.'
0:03:02 > 0:03:03What's going on in this town?
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Well, dude, is it a pudding or is it a tart? It's now a tart.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08I don't know, you know.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11And there's all this business of secret ingredients.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Right, but nobody knows what's in it. It's weird, this place!
0:03:14 > 0:03:18Aye. You know, it's not a confection, it's an enigma.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20The Original Bakewell Pudding Shop
0:03:20 > 0:03:24has been selling the town's favourite treat since 1865.
0:03:24 > 0:03:30Jean, the baker, knocks up oven-loads of puddings every day,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33using a recipe so secret, MI5 couldn't crack it.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Look at that! It's like a big Yorkshire pudding with gravy.
0:03:36 > 0:03:41Don't be flippant. This is the Original Bakewell Pudding Shop.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Look, the secret recipe!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Can't be that secret, they've got it written on the wall!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Ah, but look, "and finally a pinch of..."
0:03:49 > 0:03:51The secret ingredient. I reckon it's nutmeg.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Let's have a rummage.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59It's very different to the iced flan with a cherry on top.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00Let's make our own.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Yeah, Hairy Bakers 2008, bring it on!- A bit of a version.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13I love this. I love the alchemy of this, it's brilliant.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16It's great, isn't it? I think we can do better.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21Cos it's just like a piece of puff pastry with gloop on the top.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I think we need a nice, crumbly crust.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27You know, like one for clotted cream and ice cream.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29You want it on the plate, all lovely,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31looking fantastic, ready to nibble on.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35'So, for our crumbly crust, I've added almonds to the flour and sugar
0:04:35 > 0:04:38'for a base that's as tasty as a biscuit.'
0:04:38 > 0:04:41'Then a pinch of salt, in with the butter.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42'And turn it on.'
0:04:44 > 0:04:45There you go.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Lots of crumbs - it's like the bottom of a budgie cage!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51That's what you want. That's what you're looking for.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Into that, crack an egg.
0:04:54 > 0:04:59And for extra richness, two yolks. Now zap it!
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Aah, look at it!
0:05:02 > 0:05:06This is short pastry. Lots of butter means it's a bit crumbly,
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- but chilling makes it easier to roll out.- That's nice and firm.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14We've got pastry, we've got jam, now all we need is a rolling pin.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Flour...
0:05:18 > 0:05:21For this, I've got a 45mm rolling pin.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- This is very delicate.- Go on, mate! Go on, you can do it!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Keep that board well-floured. Keep your pin well-floured. Everything well-floured!
0:05:28 > 0:05:32I hope it's going to work, it's like trying to juggle feathers!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35And it's worth the effort, because it is about confidence.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Cos it is so short, this pastry.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Short? It's shorter than Ronnie Corbett in sandals!
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Let it all out.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Press it, feel it, make it your own.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53All we have to do now
0:05:53 > 0:05:55is to blind bake this for 15 minutes.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- Blind baking.- Porcelain beads, parchment paper, bob's your uncle.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05The weight keeps the pastry down.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07It bakes it so you don't get a soggy bottom.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Thanks for the loan of your oven, Jean.- You're welcome.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- This looks smashing.- Aye!
0:06:12 > 0:06:17Great, mate. We've got 15 minutes. Let's get on with the filling.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20To start, a bucket full of almonds - about half a kilogram.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25And to go with our cornucopia of loveliness on the almond front,
0:06:25 > 0:06:28we need golden caster sugar.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Now, for EGGS-tra flavour, eight eggs!
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Eight eggs. Not one, not two, but eight.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37This is what you'd call a rich pudding.
0:06:37 > 0:06:43Cholesterol? Yeah, right! And if there wasn't enough almond flavouring in there,
0:06:43 > 0:06:46about half a teaspoon of almond extract.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47It's quite strong, this.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Here, I can smell burning. - Can you?- Aye.- Ooh, 'ell!
0:06:51 > 0:06:57Right. That was the quickest 15 minutes ever, that! Perfect.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00One sensitively blind baked almond base.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04I'll just trim off this crusty edge.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Look at this, now! Good quality raspberry jam.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Spread it all over the bottom.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Don't be tight with your jam.
0:07:14 > 0:07:15You need a good layer of jam.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20Look, I tell you what, use a full jar.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22I'm a jam fan.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Leave some room for the topping!
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Pour the filling onto that layer of jam.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34- Wasn't it nice when you were a kid, licking out the baking bowl? - That's why I'm this shape!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36The baking barrel!
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Now, top that with flaked almonds.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41These are going to toast to a golden, golden brown.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Texture's like sun. Look at that, it's like a chiropodist's floor!
0:07:45 > 0:07:52- You know, that heck of a pudding, and you just blew it, you know! - No, I haven't, you just reminded me.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Right, time for the oven.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Si, what are you going to have with yours?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Ice cream. - I'm going to have clotted cream.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05I know, let's have a bit of both. Oh, yes!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11'Now, I wonder if we can impress the experts.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13'Time for Jean and local chef Scott
0:08:13 > 0:08:15'to taste the Hairy Bakers' Bakewell.'
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Jean, what do you think our secret ingredient is?
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- Why, have you got one?- Not really.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22It's not as good as ours.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- What's yours?- Ah, I can't tell you.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Go on.- He'd kill me.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29- Oh, go on! Go on! - If this doesn't.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31THEY LAUGH
0:08:34 > 0:08:36What are you trying to say, Mrs?!
0:08:41 > 0:08:44'She's a one, that Jean. Well, we didn't kill her.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48'She is still conjuring up Bakewell magic with that secret ingredient.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51'Whilst in town, Dave and I couldn't resist
0:08:51 > 0:08:53'following up on another Bakewell treat.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56'Down a back alley, just a perfect fit for a motorbike,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59'we found the M&C Motorcycle Museum.'
0:08:59 > 0:09:03- What a treat!- Fantastic! I'm so excited.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- BEEPS THE HORN - That's just how I feel!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Look at that Vincent.- Oh, man!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Do you know, from about the 1950s to the 1970s,
0:09:13 > 0:09:18that was the fastest motorcycle built. It could do 150mph.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22The thing is, it was reliable. They built a gentleman's motorcycle.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25You could do land speed records on it, or go to work on it.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Look at that, man.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32I'd sell me grandmother. I'd sell her teeth. I'd sell me mother.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Absolutely superb.
0:09:33 > 0:09:39Dave, look at this AJS. 1924. Look at it, it's an absolute work of art.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Everything is considered. Everything does its job.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44It is beautiful.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47It's simple, isn't it? The old ethos...
0:09:47 > 0:09:51if there was air, there was petrol and there was a spark,
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- the petrol went bang and the wheels go round! - Perfect, absolutely wonderful.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Dave, that's an AA box!- It is!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00I've always wanted to go in an AA box.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Oh, brilliant!
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Kingy, what does this button do?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- METALLIC THRUMMING - Oh, 'eck!
0:10:13 > 0:10:19Blimey, we've found ourselves transported into biking paradise.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Aah, Valhalla!
0:10:30 > 0:10:33The Tardis had deposited us just over the valley
0:10:33 > 0:10:35from Bakewell to Chatsworth House.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40Not far by intergalactic standards, but still a step back in time.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Ah, man, I'm in love with this!
0:10:42 > 0:10:45# Well, well, well, look who's here
0:10:45 > 0:10:48# I haven't seen you in many a year
0:10:48 > 0:10:53# If I'd knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake
0:10:53 > 0:10:56# Baked a cake, baked a cake
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake
0:10:58 > 0:11:01# How d'you do, how d'you do how d'you do... #
0:11:01 > 0:11:05'Oh, I'm in love with time travel!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07'Si and I are on two Brough Superiors,
0:11:07 > 0:11:11'the best pre-war British bike a man could throw his leg over.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14'Thanks to Phil Crosby at the museum for letting us ride them.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17'Kingy's bike hadn't had an airing like this for 50 years.'
0:11:17 > 0:11:21# But it really doesn't matter grab a chair and fill your platter
0:11:21 > 0:11:24# And dig, dig, dig right in... #
0:11:24 > 0:11:28'Old bikes and the perfect English house, Chatsworth.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31'You know, I was in the mood for a classic - the scone.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34'Tea wouldn't be tea without one.'
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Oh, how super it is
0:11:36 > 0:11:39to arrive at a place like this on a Brough Superior!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Yes!- You feel superior.- Yes!
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- And to be at a great country house like Chatsworth.- Oh, yes.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50And to cook that great English classic, the SCOH-N.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52It's SCONES! We're making scones!
0:11:52 > 0:11:55They're rock'n'roll scones, these. They're great.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58What you've got is maple syrup and you've got walnuts,
0:11:58 > 0:12:02and a cup of sugar borrowed from the big house.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Let's get cracking. First off, I'll put that sugar in a bowl.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09They don't normally let you do this, you know, cook and that.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13No! Don't get any ideas about having barbecues here. You'd get shot.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Feudalism isn't dead round here!
0:12:16 > 0:12:20'To the sugar, we're adding flour, baking powder, wholemeal flour -
0:12:20 > 0:12:26'very hearty - some porridge oats and a sprinkling of salt.'
0:12:26 > 0:12:30The last ingredient in the dry goods, walnuts.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33The thing is, on the walnut front
0:12:33 > 0:12:36is they're a bit whole, so I'm going to go off and bash me nuts.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Kingy, get over to that rock and bash your nuts!
0:12:38 > 0:12:40It's good for a Geordie, that. It's great.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43I'm off. I won't be long!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Now, into this, I need to rub in the butter.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- How's your nuts, Si?- Oh, not bad. I'm giving them a good going over.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55This is a nice bit about baking, rubbing in the butter.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58You rub it between your fingers like that,
0:12:58 > 0:13:03and you just feel the butter going into the flour and forming crumbs.
0:13:05 > 0:13:06Look at that!
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Smashing, them.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12- There you go, mate. Shall I pour them straight in?- Aye!- Look at that.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- I tell you what we need now, dude. - Liquid.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Maple syrup.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Buttermilk.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- Brill.- There you are, mate.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24I could get quite used to this 'tache thing, you know.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26It suits you, you look very fine.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- It's a bit of a worry.- Do you know what I've often felt, mate?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31We are, like, rough and ready,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34but we've got some quite sophisticated tastes,
0:13:34 > 0:13:37- and I feel somehow we were born for this.- Lovely, that.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38There it is, look at that.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42A lovely, soft dough. Over to you, master.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45What I'm going to do, I'm just going to roll it out.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Try and make it as even as you can.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Roll it up into a bit of a sausage,
0:13:49 > 0:13:52to the right bore that you want your scones...
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- So it looks like a howitzer shell. - Look at that!
0:13:55 > 0:13:59And then, cut the dough into scones.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Lovely!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05'Shape the dough into chunky rounds.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07'And now, the finishing touches.'
0:14:07 > 0:14:11A nice eggy wash and a little sprinkling of sugar
0:14:11 > 0:14:16gives you that caramelised topping and the teashop chic look.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Now, they need to go into a hot oven,
0:14:19 > 0:14:23about 200 degrees Centigrade, for 10 to 15 minutes. However...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- We don't have one.- So we're cooking them on our charcoal oven.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29We're going to busk it a little bit, really.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33I have to say, that was one of the most wonderful experiences,
0:14:33 > 0:14:35a 1929 Brough Superior.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38That was one of the biggest moments of my life.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Kicking that over, and ker-bumpf!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- The sound.- Dum-dum-dum-dum!
0:14:44 > 0:14:46It's like you after a curry.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Butter on one's scone.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Don't be shy, don't be frugal.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Lovely, thanks, mate.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03These are just so good. They're still warm.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05The maple syrup is heaven.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12'Our teatime treats for Henley
0:15:12 > 0:15:15'were stacking up to be top notch classics with a biker twist.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19'Next up, the Victoria sandwich.'
0:15:22 > 0:15:25'So, onwards to Abingdon near Oxford.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32'We've decided to seek out the golden rules of baking
0:15:32 > 0:15:35'from the WI, the Women's Institute.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43'Here, baking is practised to benchmark perfection.'
0:15:43 > 0:15:46If you've not made it this way before,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49we're going to weigh the eggs in their shells.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Dude, she's weighing her eggs. That's a worry.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56So whatever ingredients, that's your fat, your flour, your sugar,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58they all weigh exactly the same.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Hey, she's only got four. We've got seven in ours.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03I know, but ours will be rich and it works.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06'Within these corridors of culinary power,
0:16:06 > 0:16:08'one learns that the WI's Victoria sandwich
0:16:08 > 0:16:11'is always made with raspberry jam
0:16:11 > 0:16:14'and dusted off with caster sugar, never icing sugar.'
0:16:14 > 0:16:18'Tough bunch of ladies, these, for a couple of freeform bakers like us.'
0:16:18 > 0:16:21'Right, tips learned, pinnies on,
0:16:21 > 0:16:26'time for a right hairy Victoria sandwich with a few naughty extras.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29'Well, nothing I thought we'd get a black mark for.'
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Not that tight!
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Being given the opportunity to wear this pinny is like being accepted.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38By who?
0:16:38 > 0:16:39Well, them.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- What, the WI?- Aye!
0:16:45 > 0:16:51Here we go. Step one. The sugar and the butter...unsalted. Yes.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Fat means flavour.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Start off nice and gently. What we're looking for -
0:16:59 > 0:17:02it needs to go a pale colour, virtually white.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- Look at that, it's gone white... - It's like a polar bear's bum!
0:17:08 > 0:17:12'Now, we're using seven eggs... naughty but nice.'
0:17:12 > 0:17:16A bit more flavour. I've got some vanilla extract.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Have you?- Yeah. Squeeze this in, nobody will know.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Go!
0:17:28 > 0:17:32'Fold in the self-raising flour to add some air.'
0:17:32 > 0:17:35You see, the thing about making a cake like this,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39you love it, don't you? You take it and you possess it. Lovely!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Forget meditation, forget yoga!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Bake a cake!
0:17:44 > 0:17:47'Then, splodge equally into the baking tins.'
0:17:48 > 0:17:51It's good, that cockerel.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Never let me down yet.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Right. We need to make our buttercream cinnamon icing.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Don't say it too loud! Shhhh!
0:18:06 > 0:18:07We need jam as well.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Cinnamon. Cinnamon!
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Buttercream icing.
0:18:12 > 0:18:17Icing sugar, half a pack of butter, bit of warm water.
0:18:17 > 0:18:22'Mix it all up till it's a lush paste, like a posh face cream.'
0:18:22 > 0:18:24What we're doing, which is dead cheeky,
0:18:24 > 0:18:26we're putting some cinnamon in.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30It's like passion cake with that cinnamon buttercream icing.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32It's not strictly right, but it's dead tasty.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Right, lads, how are you getting on? - Oh, hello, Kath!
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Smashing. The cakes are in and it's gone perfectly fine.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41And you're timing them?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Yep, we're ready, we're ready.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47We'll be jamming up later when the sponges come out.
0:18:47 > 0:18:53- Getting trendy - she said we'll be jamming up.- Jamming up. Bob Marley...we're jamming...
0:18:58 > 0:19:01They're perfect, absolutely perfect.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Look at them!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10And just as the dust settles over your cooled cake,
0:19:10 > 0:19:15the heat goes on. Time to whip out a doily and sandwich your sandwiches,
0:19:15 > 0:19:19and just hope that your cake makes the grade for judge Jill.
0:19:21 > 0:19:26Dave, the thing is, all the other ladies' cakes
0:19:26 > 0:19:29are like pillows - big and fluffy and gorgeous.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I know, and ours is like a carpet tile. Now, on with the butter icing.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Go on, dude, layer it up.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40'Mmm, might get marked down for that butter icing.'
0:19:48 > 0:19:52- Ours has got cream in it, you know. - You're not supposed to tell the judge what's in it.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56Kingy, the only judge you've ever spoken to has been behind a bench!
0:19:57 > 0:20:02'Don't worry. I've got this judge wrapped round my little finger.'
0:20:02 > 0:20:06'So, what's the verdict on our hairy Victoria sandwich
0:20:06 > 0:20:08'with cinnamon buttercream?'
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- You've given me a problem, you two. - What do you mean?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- Well, this cake is not according to schedule.- It was on time!
0:20:14 > 0:20:18It was, aye! What do you mean, schedule?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20It is not a Victoria sandwich.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24I beg your pardon, madam?!
0:20:24 > 0:20:28'Judges? Pfft! I say, let the taste buds decide.'
0:20:31 > 0:20:35As a cake, it's lovely, with that lovely cinnamon flavour.
0:20:35 > 0:20:40As a Victoria sandwich, it's not quite there.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Because it's got the added extras.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46Perhaps, you know, if you renamed it or something.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Biker sandwich!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I love you! I quite like that!
0:20:53 > 0:20:57You haven't finished yours. What's the matter with it?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Disqualified for a layer of buttercream.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Outrageous!
0:21:14 > 0:21:16'Our teatime journey has given us such a sugar rush,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19'I think Si and I could pedal our bikes to Henley!'
0:21:22 > 0:21:25'And so to our final port of call.'
0:21:29 > 0:21:31'The Henley Royal Regatta
0:21:31 > 0:21:34'has been part of the summer season since 1839.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38'The team that we're here to cheer on are wearing the red tops -
0:21:38 > 0:21:41'the Tees Rowing Club, from Si's neck of the woods.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43'They'll need some feeding up!'
0:21:43 > 0:21:45They're doing all right, the Geordies.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48They're not Geordies, man! They're Teesiders.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51They think the chip shop's shutting, they're putting a spurt on!
0:21:51 > 0:21:55- Go on, go on! - Chips, chips, chips, chips!
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I tell you what, the post office must be open for their grants.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00THEY LAUGH
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Go on, boys! Come on, the Tees!
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Come on, lads, we've got better pies up north! Come on!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Apparently, the Teesiders have reduced a stroke...
0:22:17 > 0:22:20To half a length! I've got no idea.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22I've got no idea at all what's going on.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- We've just got to dress up like a berk and bake cakes.- Exactly.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31This rowing lark's a whole new world for Dave and me.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34It's said the Henley course is a straight mile
0:22:34 > 0:22:36and takes seven minutes to cover.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Now, with eight mates and a handful of oars, that's hungry work.
0:22:40 > 0:22:46Raaaahhh! Raaaahhh!
0:22:46 > 0:22:48That's me upper class roar.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Whilst the racing continues, we'd better crack on
0:22:51 > 0:22:54with the finishing touches to our afternoon tea for the rowers.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58It's turning out to be a belter.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00The almondy Bakewell tart,
0:23:00 > 0:23:03walnut and maple syrup scones and our Victoria sandwich.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06'But will it be enough to impress the Henley crowd?
0:23:06 > 0:23:09'Maybe one last nibble will tip the balance.'
0:23:09 > 0:23:10Woo-hoo!
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I tell you what, our teatime table treats, it's building up bazonkas.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18- It's brilliant.- Look, I've chopped this chocolate nice and chunky.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Nice white chocolate, lovely dark chocolate. Big flavours. - Ooh, that's proper chocolate.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26You need posh chocolate for our cookies because they're laced with
0:23:26 > 0:23:30sour cherries, cherry brandy, white chocolate, dark chocolate.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33If Rich Tea biscuits are at one end of the scale in frugality,
0:23:33 > 0:23:37these super-chewy sour cherry cookies are at the other.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40These are an opulent cookie, the king of cookies, the big one.
0:23:40 > 0:23:45The basis to any good cookie or cake is our sugars and our fat.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47Yes, it's creaming your fat with your sugar.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50So, I've got some dark brown muscovado sugar
0:23:50 > 0:23:53to go into the golden caster.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Between you and I, the secret to super-chewy cookies is oil,
0:23:56 > 0:23:59you know the sort that are cooked but they're still a bit soft?
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Put a couple of spoonfuls of sunflower oil, nice and pure,
0:24:03 > 0:24:06into the mixture. Cream away, Horatio!
0:24:06 > 0:24:11And it should cream slightly easier with the oil in it.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15We're adding two tablespoons of vanilla paste to an egg,
0:24:15 > 0:24:17then stirring that into our sugars and butter.
0:24:17 > 0:24:21It's a teatime treat to end all treats.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23It's a teatime treat for toffs.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32Lush! So, dry ingredients - some flour, baking powder for lift-off,
0:24:32 > 0:24:35a tad of salt and mix it all up.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Then you get the basis of your cookie dough.
0:24:38 > 0:24:43These are dried sour cherries. They're not dry now, because we've soaked them in a bit of water
0:24:43 > 0:24:45just to rehydrate them.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Drain these. I hope it doesn't splash on my flannels!
0:24:49 > 0:24:55- To cheer up the sour cherries, a splash of good French cherry brandy. - Look at that.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Go on, don't be shy!
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Now, whip those into your dough.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05Next ingredient is a handful of slivered almonds.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Now, some chopped hazelnuts.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14- And down to me chocolate chopping board - chocolate chunks! - Fit for a king.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Like a dead man's teeth.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21This has to be the most lustrous, luscious dough.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25Extravagant, isn't it?
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Roll it out about a centimetre thick.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Keep them quite thick, because when they bake, they'll spread.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36If you want big cookies, use a big pastry cutter
0:25:36 > 0:25:39and they'll come out bigger - they'll come out like soup plates.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43But we're at Henley, so we want quite dainty ones.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47We'll use a glass, because there's one to hand always,
0:25:47 > 0:25:49and just pop them out with this.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Right, now.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55On a non-stick baking tray, you can put them said cookies on here.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58So all we do now is stamp, lift!
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Two trays of perfectly formed cookies.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04There we are, into the fiery furnace.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Just in time. Perfect!
0:26:18 > 0:26:19We've got to get a move on, Kingy,
0:26:19 > 0:26:22because the rowers are coming over in a minute.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25At Henley, they pause for tea.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29They don't take tea, they pause for tea. One thing.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- What's that?- We have no savouries. - Ah-ha!
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Cucumber sandwiches, thinly sliced.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43# Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic... #
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Your tea's ready!
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Come on, your tea's ready.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05The 60,000 million question - Tees Rowing Club, did you win?
0:27:05 > 0:27:10- Yes!- There you are, look at that.
0:27:10 > 0:27:11Cor!
0:27:17 > 0:27:19So, do you lads have a special diet?
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Do you have to watch your calories,
0:27:21 > 0:27:23or do you just go for it and bulk up weight?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25I fall into the heavyweight category
0:27:25 > 0:27:27where you try and eat as much as you can -
0:27:27 > 0:27:30- 6,000 or 7,000 calories a day.- What?!
0:27:30 > 0:27:35Plenty of cream, anything rich - chocolate, fat...
0:27:35 > 0:27:376,000 or 7,000 calories a day!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Body's a temple, dude, body's a temple.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Yeah, but that's what we do,
0:27:41 > 0:27:43- but we've got to go rowing to get rid of it.- Ah.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46We should do that, we could be like this, it's not too late.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07This whinging about rowing, I don't know what the problem is.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Me neither! I mean, look -
0:28:09 > 0:28:12get an engine and you really can have your cake and eat it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15It's hard work when you're coxless.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19Aww, hey - I tell you what, does this join on to the Tyne?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21HE LAUGHS
0:28:24 > 0:28:28If you want to try these recipes yourself, they're at -
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:41 > 0:28:44E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk