0:00:02 > 0:00:03Christmas - we love this time of year.
0:00:03 > 0:00:08Yeah, wrapping presents, decorating the tree and generally making merry.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12And nothing beats a bit of Christmas home cooking
0:00:12 > 0:00:14shared with family and friends.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Delicious festive food for all occasions,
0:00:17 > 0:00:20packed with flavour and full of love.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Ding dong merrily on high.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24And we'll be joined by some familiar faces
0:00:24 > 0:00:26to get us all into the festive spirit.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Oh, my goodness!
0:00:27 > 0:00:29That is preposterously wonderful.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34We'll also find out how to make someone's day
0:00:34 > 0:00:37with delicious home-made foodie gifts.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44So, hang up your stockings, tweak your tinsel,
0:00:44 > 0:00:46turn on your fairy lights and relax.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Together:- We're home for Christmas!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05It's Christmas Day.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09The presents are wrapped, the house is decorated and the tree is lit.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Now, for a cook, it's the perfect time to show off.
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Everybody's looking forward to your Christmas dinner so, what do you do?
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Pull out all the stops.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Christmas makes memories
0:01:24 > 0:01:27and with our suggestions for a spectacular lunch,
0:01:27 > 0:01:30the family will be talking about it for generations.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34We're making delicious stuffed turkey legs and breast.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40And a last-minute Christmas cake that will wow your visitors.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43We're joined by Reverend Kate Bottley,
0:01:43 > 0:01:44television's favourite vicar,
0:01:44 > 0:01:48and Jon Culshaw and it turns into a bit of a houseful.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Welcome to the Trump Hairy Bikers' steakhouse and cake-making store.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53This is fantastic. You would not believe
0:01:53 > 0:01:56how great this cake is going to be. It's a great cake.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03But first, how about replacing a classic mince pie
0:02:03 > 0:02:05with our version of an Austrian Linzer torte,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08made with home-made mincemeat, home-made marzipan
0:02:08 > 0:02:10and finished off with brandy cream?
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- I'll get on and make the marzipan. - And I'm going to zest two oranges.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Thank you.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Marzipan is dead simple.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22It basically consists of icing sugar, caster sugar,
0:02:22 > 0:02:26ground almonds, some almond extract, lemon juice and two eggs.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29And, basically, you mould it all together
0:02:29 > 0:02:30till you have a block of marzipan.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32So, for the sweet mincemeat,
0:02:32 > 0:02:35it's quite important that you do it in advance,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38because what you want to do is let all of those flavours mature.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Two weeks, you're laughing.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- We've argued about mince pies, haven't we, over the years?- We have.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48I like them sealed, perfect little rondelles of loveliness.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I, however, like them gushing out the top, a bit messy.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- All those sticky brown bits, yeah.- Lovely.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54But you know, Kingy, in the 17th century,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Oliver Cromwell declared the eating of mincemeat
0:02:57 > 0:03:00on Christmas Day illegal. And it still is to this day
0:03:00 > 0:03:03so, every time you have your mince pie on Christmas Day,
0:03:03 > 0:03:04you're breaking the law.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Right, I now need to extract the juice.
0:03:07 > 0:03:12To the icing sugar, some ground almonds and some caster sugar.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Oh, it's lovely this, because you're now starting to get
0:03:14 > 0:03:17all of those lovely Christmas flavours through and smells.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Wait till I get my almond extract out.- Oh!
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Now, into the bowl, break two eggs.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25I'm going to give that a quick whizz.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Almond extract.- Oh.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38And about a teaspoon of lemon.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42I pour the egg, the extract and the lemon juice into here.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- It's as simple as that.- Indeed.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Now, in any good mincemeat, you need a Bramley apple
0:03:47 > 0:03:50and what we're going to do is we're going to dice this nice and finely,
0:03:50 > 0:03:53so then we've got our plethora of ingredients
0:03:53 > 0:03:55ready to go into the pan.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Start to form this together.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Now, I've just been squeezing this
0:04:00 > 0:04:03and it's become, well, a ball of marzipan.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06It's not really that smooth yet so, you put it onto a board
0:04:06 > 0:04:08and, just like bread dough, we just knead that.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11When you bake bread, you use flour to stop the dough sticking.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I've got my sifter full of icing sugar
0:04:14 > 0:04:16and I'm using that in the same way.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- And look at that.- Ah, beautiful.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Marzipan, all made with my own fair hands.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Cover that in clingfilm,
0:04:24 > 0:04:26put that in the refrigerator till we're ready to use it.
0:04:27 > 0:04:32For the mincemeat, put raisins, sultanas, dried figs,
0:04:32 > 0:04:36sour cherries and candied orange into a pan.
0:04:36 > 0:04:43Add orange juice, the zest, sherry and brandy.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Bring to the boil, stir and leave for an hour.
0:04:47 > 0:04:53Add the apples, almonds, cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg,
0:04:53 > 0:04:56brown sugar and suet.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Heat gently until the suet has melted.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Cool and spoon into jars.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- Mincemeat!- Yes, two weeks ago, we did it, cos we're organised.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Right, so, let's make our Linzer torte.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16The secret to the pastry is the almonds and butter.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19It's a devil to roll out but we'll get on with it
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and we'll chill it down.
0:05:21 > 0:05:26For the pastry, whizz flour, almonds, caster sugar, and butter.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31Add a pinch of salt and one egg and whizz again.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37Wrap the pastry in clingfilm and chill. There we go.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40The almond pastry is done
0:05:40 > 0:05:43and this is the traditional part of a Linzer torte.
0:05:43 > 0:05:45The Linzer torte, indeed, is possibly thought to be
0:05:45 > 0:05:49the world's oldest cake, pie or flan. Into the fridge.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Now, fortunately, because we're organised,
0:05:51 > 0:05:55we have some chilled pastry and some chilled marzipan to work with.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Here we go, mate.
0:05:57 > 0:05:58I want about a third of this
0:05:58 > 0:06:01cos I want to make like little ribbons for the top.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04While Dave's doing that, quick top tip.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07I'm going to roll the marzipan out for the base of Dave's flan tin.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11The best way to do it is between two sheets of greaseproof paper.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14Now, while Si's rolling out the marzipan,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16I'm lining the tin with pastry.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Now I'm not bothering greasing the tin cos I'm confident
0:06:19 > 0:06:22there's that much fat and grease in the pastry
0:06:22 > 0:06:25that, in fact, it's not going to stick.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29But you know, Christmas is a time of indulgence
0:06:29 > 0:06:33and the most indulgent thing about this is we put that disc of marzipan
0:06:33 > 0:06:35into the base of the tart.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38That is a beautifully lined tart tin
0:06:38 > 0:06:41with our Linzer torte almond pastry.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42This...
0:06:42 > 0:06:45is just about to go in the bottom.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- How lovely is that?- Whoa!
0:06:53 > 0:06:59And then put this beautiful, beautiful home-made mincemeat,
0:06:59 > 0:07:04sweet mincemeat and fill that beautiful pastry in.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Ooh!
0:07:09 > 0:07:12I'm just keeping this pastry as cold as I can.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- There we go.- Lovely. - Do a lovely twist like that.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19And care has to be taken because it's Christmas
0:07:19 > 0:07:21and it's got to be perfect.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24And one of the keywords of Christmas is "decorations".
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- Are you a balls or tinsel man? - Balls.- Well, I'm tinsel, mate.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Balls and stars.- No, tinsel.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33I like them cheap with Christmas decorations.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I am the one who'd have the Santa on a rope
0:07:35 > 0:07:37climbing up the outside of his house.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40How any places have we been to where we've seen those though
0:07:40 > 0:07:44and, I've got to tell you, the people that do it,
0:07:44 > 0:07:46your electricity bills must be insane
0:07:46 > 0:07:48but I've got to say it looks great for the rest of us
0:07:48 > 0:07:50and we have a right giggle. So, thank you.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Yeah, it makes the world a happier, brighter place.- It definitely does.
0:07:53 > 0:07:58Look at that. Like candy canes of joy.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- So, we go this way.- Oh!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I'm nearly finished here but I think you'll find,
0:08:04 > 0:08:06ladies and gentlemen, that the finished effect
0:08:06 > 0:08:09on one's Linzer torte is truly worth the effort.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- That is lovely, isn't it?- Yeah. - And, just a little tip here.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18Don't go too heavy-handed when you're glazing your Linzer torte
0:08:18 > 0:08:20because it's very, very delicate pastry, this.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Let's pop this now into a preheated oven,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29180 degrees Celsius, for half an hour,
0:08:29 > 0:08:33until your little bands of gold are bands of gold.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35See you later, Linzer tater.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Brandy cream, dear heart?- Why not.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Some whipped cream, some brandy and some icing sugar
0:08:41 > 0:08:43to stop the whole thing splitting.
0:08:49 > 0:08:54Look at that. Well, it's an old trick, but it's a good'un.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I tell you what, Si,
0:08:57 > 0:09:00the whole street is going to smell of Christmas now.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01It certainly is.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- That's beautiful.- Isn't it just?
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- Oh, Mr King!- Right.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Ooh.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14There we go.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18A lovely slice.
0:09:22 > 0:09:27- Oh, yeah.- It seems a shame to spoil it.- I don't know where to start.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Ooh.
0:09:36 > 0:09:41This one's an absolute keeper. It's a mad invention but it works.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Linzer torte, the perfect alternative to mince pies.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52The other great thing about our Linzer torte is it makes
0:09:52 > 0:09:55a wonderful gift to give to your friends when you go round to visit.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Now, home cook Vanessa Dennett has another wonderful creation.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's a Christmas wreath with a difference,
0:10:01 > 0:10:05which would also make a great present for anyone's home.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I think that the meringue wreath,
0:10:07 > 0:10:10although it might seem harder to wrap up and give as a present,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13so many of us have so much stuff and so little time,
0:10:13 > 0:10:15that taking something that can actually make
0:10:15 > 0:10:19a beautiful centrepiece for the table and be enjoyed there and then
0:10:19 > 0:10:22is a really lovely way to give somebody a Christmas gift.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I always will choose older eggs, rather than very, very fresh eggs
0:10:26 > 0:10:28because, as the whites age,
0:10:28 > 0:10:30they become a little bit thinner and runnier
0:10:30 > 0:10:33and they actually beat up better and hold the air well.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39It's also important to say at this point
0:10:39 > 0:10:42that all your equipment must be absolutely spotlessly clean,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45just to ensure that there is no grease or fat,
0:10:45 > 0:10:49as that will affect the way in which the whites beat
0:10:49 > 0:10:52and we want them lovely and fluffy and full of air.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05You can add a little bit of vinegar and cornflour
0:11:05 > 0:11:07mixed together to a paste
0:11:07 > 0:11:11and it just helps the inside of the meringue keep
0:11:11 > 0:11:16a little bit of chewy stickiness, which we like in our family anyway.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23I just drew around a plate so that I've got a good circular shape
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and, using a couple of spoons, I just will transfer the mixture.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Then I will run the back of the spoon
0:11:31 > 0:11:36around the top of the mix to make an indentation
0:11:36 > 0:11:39because that's where I'm going to put my cream in afterwards.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Once it's cooked, you can then let it cool
0:11:47 > 0:11:49and you can put it away for two or three weeks quite happily
0:11:49 > 0:11:52before you get it out to dress it.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56So, it's really practical, at a busy time of year, to put together.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00So, when you do want to come to eat it,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02I'm going to take some double cream...
0:12:03 > 0:12:07..blackberries and raspberries and pomegranate seeds,
0:12:07 > 0:12:11because I think they really look sort of Christmassy
0:12:11 > 0:12:13and jewel-like and they'll be really pretty on the table.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15And then I've got some mint leaves
0:12:15 > 0:12:18that I'm just going to sort of place around the wreath,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20just to give it a bit of greenery, like a real Christmas wreath.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31I think it's a beautiful dish to take somewhere,
0:12:31 > 0:12:34if you've been asked to take a dessert with you.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Somehow, meringue is a real celebratory food.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41In our family, at least, I think there's rarely a party
0:12:41 > 0:12:44without some sort of meringue dish
0:12:44 > 0:12:47so, for me, it always feels like a festive food.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Well, it is the big day and, for me, there is nothing better than turkey.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02And I don't think there's anybody better to share that turkey with us
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- than the Reverend Kate Bottley. Hey-hey.- Hey!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Welcome to our little world of Christmas joy!
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- It's so festive and gorgeous. - It's like you!- Look at you!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Well, I did like to make an effort.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- I tell you what, Reverend, you look fantastic.- Thank you very much.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18And it's great for the big day that...
0:13:18 > 0:13:20We all haven't got to forget what it's about.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- It's a Christian festival. - It is a Christian festival.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25I think the thing is about Christmas Day, it's about family,
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- it's about friends and it's about food, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30And it's about getting together and everyone just seems
0:13:30 > 0:13:32a little bit nicer to each other on Christmas Day.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Well, until about four o'clock in the afternoon,
0:13:34 > 0:13:36when they all fall out over Monopoly.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Do you actually get Christmas Day off?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40I work Christmas Day morning, of course,
0:13:40 > 0:13:42and Christmas Eve's really busy.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Do you take mass on Christmas Day morning?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Yeah, Christmas morning. We have champagne though in the cup,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- on Christmas Day mass.- You rebel!
0:13:48 > 0:13:51I know, right! And I always wear my 'jamas under my robes,
0:13:51 > 0:13:53so that at the end of the service,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I can whip my robes off and get straight home,
0:13:55 > 0:13:59get on the cooking and get on a nice glass of something as well.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03Well, it is the big day and, for me, there is nothing better than turkey.
0:14:03 > 0:14:07We're making delicious stuffed turkey legs and breast.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10It's a way of doing the turkey a bit on the posh.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- But it's worth giving this a go. - What's not to love?
0:14:13 > 0:14:18- First the stuffing.- Yes!- Some say, including me, it's the best bit.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- I love the stuffing!- Right, I'm going to crumble chestnuts.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25We've sauteed some onions in some butter
0:14:25 > 0:14:28and they're cooled, ready to go into the stuffing as well.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31So, I'm going to put those in now. Right, I'm going to peel a pear.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34You know, your parishioners, since you're now quite famous...
0:14:34 > 0:14:37In fact, you're not quite famous, you ARE famous.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- What do your parishioners think? - I love my local church.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42I work at a place called St Saviour's
0:14:42 > 0:14:43and they're a beautiful bunch of people.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I'll give you an example of what they think now.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47We got a new kitchen at church recently
0:14:47 > 0:14:49and they wanted a celebrity to open it.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53They didn't have to ask out, did they? They just got me to do it.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- Whoa!- There's a plaque on the church kitchen that says,
0:14:56 > 0:14:58"Opened by the Reverend Kate Bottley".
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Ee, look at that.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- You've done that before, haven't you?- A couple of times.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05Were you always religious?
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Did the Church always have a place in your heart?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10No, do you know, it's a terrible story really.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I wasn't brought up going to church.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14I was christened as a baby, like lots of people are,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16but we never went.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20- And then I saw a boy at school that I quite liked the look of.- Yes.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24And he happened to be the vicar's son. So, I started going to church.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26I only went for a snog and I ended up with a dog collar!
0:15:26 > 0:15:29THEY LAUGH
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- Completely true. I married him, obviously. I married him.- Aw.- Aw.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35But, yeah, our eyes met across a crowded communion rail.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38I tell you what, that's good.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42I'm going to add this lovely chopped Conference pear, like so.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45In the bowl, we've got some sausage meat,
0:15:45 > 0:15:46we've got some crumbled chestnuts,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49we've got a beautiful chopped Conference pear,
0:15:49 > 0:15:52we've got some thyme and we've got some onions, sauteed in butter.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56And now, you've got a couple of dried apricots.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01To this, some allspice.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Whenever you waft that over, it's Christmas.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Oh, I feel so festive. - It's great, isn't it?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12We just need It's A Wonderful Life on the telly now and we're all set.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- Oh, don't! - That's my favourite, yeah.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17And the zest of a lemon.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21I've got some nutmeg here and just freshly grated.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Right, well, it's now get your hands in it and mix it up.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Some salt and some pepper
0:16:28 > 0:16:31and give it its final little stir.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34And now is the time that we need to get stuffed.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I mean, Kate, people first got to know you on Gogglebox.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- How did it come about? - It was an amazing thing.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42I do lots of weddings. I love doing weddings.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- Yes.- It's one of the great joys of my job.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46And I had a lovely couple called Gary and Tracy
0:16:46 > 0:16:49who came to see me, who wanted something just a bit different,
0:16:49 > 0:16:53so I suggested that we did a flash mob, a dance.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56So, I pronounce them husband and wife and then the music starts
0:16:56 > 0:16:59and I start dancing, they start dancing,
0:16:59 > 0:17:01and they put that on YouTube, so their friends
0:17:01 > 0:17:04who weren't at the wedding could see it and that got ten million hits...
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- Wow!- Wow!- ..on YouTube.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Wow!- Oh, it was so awkward.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13I remember when it went viral and I had to phone the Bishop
0:17:13 > 0:17:16and say, "I'm really sorry, but I've done something."
0:17:16 > 0:17:19And he went, "Oh, what is it now?"
0:17:19 > 0:17:22But it was brilliant and from that, Gogglebox saw that
0:17:22 > 0:17:25and decided to ask us to be on it.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I've got to say, David and I are massive fans and you do a great job.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- Thank you, that's incredibly kind. - On that note, more tea, Vicar?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- I knew you were going to say that! - I couldn't resist it!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- Oh!- But tea is another one of your passions, isn't it, Kate?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43I love a good brew and that's just about the right colour, that.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- That's it, see.- Like ink. - It would take paint off, that!
0:17:46 > 0:17:51- Right, mate. - Right, so, this is the leg,
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- which has been boned and flattened. - So, put our stuffing in.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- How's that, mate? - That looks fabulous!
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Now what you do is you take that side and roll it over.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Take that side and roll it over. Use the skin like that.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Now, slip it underneath, I'll keep my hand there and hope for the best.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14It's like a turkey TARDIS.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17There's more on the inside than there is on the outside.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Little mini joint number one.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24- Lovely!- Now onto the breast, and this one's a bit of a sandwich.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Much easier. Let's have lots of stuffing.- Absolutely!
0:18:29 > 0:18:34- Bit more stuffing?- Oh, yes. Lovely.- In.- Right.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35Look at that!
0:18:37 > 0:18:39What's the worst Christmas present you've ever had?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Ooh, that's a good question!
0:18:41 > 0:18:46The worst Christmas present I ever got, I think was some wet wipes.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49THEY LAUGH
0:18:49 > 0:18:51To be fair, it was from a parishioner
0:18:51 > 0:18:55and I don't think she really knew what they were.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58But the best thing I ever saw on a Christmas stall -
0:18:58 > 0:19:00well, the worst but also the best thing -
0:19:00 > 0:19:04was we had kind of a Christmas bring-and-buy sale at church
0:19:04 > 0:19:09and one of the older ladies brought what she thought was a purse,
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- a Rudolph purse, she thought it was, with a little red nose on it.- Yes.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17- It was posing pouch...- Oh, no!
0:19:17 > 0:19:20..that she'd picked up from somewhere and she brought that
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- and it went on the Christmas bring-and-buy stall.- Oh, no!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26- No!- Oh!- And we decided not to explain to her
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- that it wasn't what she thought it was.- Oh, no!
0:19:29 > 0:19:32In fact, the last parish I was in was a country parish
0:19:32 > 0:19:35and the first day that I was in parish,
0:19:35 > 0:19:38there was a knock on the door and it was one of the local farmers
0:19:38 > 0:19:40and he went, "New vicar?" And I said, "Yeah."
0:19:40 > 0:19:44And he handed me this carrier bag and I opened the carrier bag
0:19:44 > 0:19:48and in the carrier bag was a rabbit with its skin on
0:19:48 > 0:19:50and he sort of looked at me to see if I'd flinch
0:19:50 > 0:19:53and I went, "Oh, thanks ever so much.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56"When I've done it do you want me to bring you some stew or something?"
0:19:56 > 0:19:57And he went, " Aye."
0:19:57 > 0:20:00And apparently, he went straight into the pub in the village
0:20:00 > 0:20:02and went, "She'll be all right here."
0:20:02 > 0:20:04THEY LAUGH Oh, brilliant!
0:20:04 > 0:20:06It was like a test.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09My last parishes that were rural, you know, you'd open the front door
0:20:09 > 0:20:12and there'd be a brace of pheasants or a big bag of potatoes.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Those were your Christmas gifts. - But how lovely.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Shall we make some stuffing balls? - Yes, let's.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20It's very nice having two people cooking for me.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22It's usually me that does this.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- Yeah, but you deserve it, cos you're great.- Ah, thanks.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Yeah, I'm just trying to get brownie points from God.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30I need all the help I can get.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- I'll try and put a word in. - Would you mind?- Yeah, of course.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37You know, it must be really busy for you on Christmas Day, is it?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39To be honest with you, on Christmas Day,
0:20:39 > 0:20:43we like to get the service done as quickly as we possibly can
0:20:43 > 0:20:45so it's communion, carols, bit of a sermon,
0:20:45 > 0:20:47and let's get out of there.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48Cos everybody wants to get home,
0:20:48 > 0:20:50everybody wants to go back to their dinner,
0:20:50 > 0:20:53so we have a couple of carols, the kids bring their toys to show,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56we have communion together and it's lovely, but it is under an hour.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59This way of cooking turkey could be the one for you.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02I think that, because I normally have to get up really early
0:21:02 > 0:21:04on Christmas day to make sure that my Christmas is ready,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06so that I can get to church and stuff
0:21:06 > 0:21:08but, I don't think this takes very long.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09You can prep this on Christmas Eve
0:21:09 > 0:21:13because that will only need to go in the oven now for 45 to 50 minutes
0:21:13 > 0:21:16and then it's done. And it's guaranteed super juicy.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- I'll just put... - Ooh, you naughty man!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24On the breast, just to keep that as moist as we can possibly make it.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Christmas Day is that day where you can be a little bit naughty
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- with what you eat though, can't you? - Oh, yes.- Definitely.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38For perfect roast potatoes,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41peel the potatoes, bring to the boil
0:21:41 > 0:21:43and simmer for just a few minutes.
0:21:43 > 0:21:48Drain and shake in the pan or colander to roughen the edges.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Sprinkle with polenta, salt and pepper.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Carefully pour the potatoes into a roasting tin
0:21:55 > 0:21:58with sizzling fat and roast until golden.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08The turkey's roasted and it's been resting for about 20 minutes,
0:22:08 > 0:22:10so I think we can make the gravy.
0:22:10 > 0:22:14Oh, yes! First, strain the juices.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19The fat and that really rich stock there, I'm going to use
0:22:19 > 0:22:21to make my roux. So, I've got the flour.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25I put it in there cos I want to cook the flouriness out of it.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Now, some of the turkey stock that we have here,
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I'm just going to put on the bottom of this tin
0:22:30 > 0:22:34and we want all of that into our gravy.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Pour all of that in.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Useful. I want to work this roux into the gravy
0:22:41 > 0:22:43and start adding the stock.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51Right, bread sauce is on. I want to reheat the sprouts and pancetta.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Beautiful.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56On Christmas Day, do you allow the others to come in the kitchen
0:22:56 > 0:23:00- and help?- I do, but they have to do as they're told.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03And it's the only time of year that the hostess trolley gets used,
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- of course.- The hostess trolley!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Is it still alive in Yorkshire?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Just about. The hostess trolley. I love a hostess trolley.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Do you have any kind of unique Christmas traditions
0:23:14 > 0:23:16at your house, Kate?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Well, we don't open the presents until after dinner.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22You have to wait, but you are allowed to open one present
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- when you get in from church on Christmas Eve.- Wow.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26So, you're allowed to open one present
0:23:26 > 0:23:29and you can take that present to church with you in the morning
0:23:29 > 0:23:31to show everybody, which is fine, if you're getting something
0:23:31 > 0:23:34that you can show, but I got underwear last year
0:23:34 > 0:23:36and that didn't work at all.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39THEY LAUGH
0:23:39 > 0:23:40The other tradition we have is
0:23:40 > 0:23:43you know when you have your nativity scene
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- with your little statues in?- Yes.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- You can't put the baby Jesus in his manger until Christmas Day.- Oh, no.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52So he has to hide in the fruit bowl until Christmas Day.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56- And some salt.- And every year, I make all my own Christmas cards.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- I make about 250 Christmas cards. - Do you?- Really?- Yeah.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02And once you've started that tradition
0:24:02 > 0:24:04of making your own Christmas cards, you can't stop,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06because people say to you all through the year,
0:24:06 > 0:24:08"We're looking forward to your card."
0:24:08 > 0:24:11So, you've kind of made a rod for your own back there really.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15You definitely have. You don't make life easy for yourself, do you?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- So is Christmas your favourite time of the year?- Yeah.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22- Do you prefer it to Easter?- No, I can't say I prefer it to Easter.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Easter is an amazing time as well, but I do love,
0:24:24 > 0:24:29especially after Christmas Day, when you've done the church,
0:24:29 > 0:24:31and you've done the dinner and that sitting down.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33There's that moment, on Christmas Day afternoon,
0:24:33 > 0:24:37- where you go, "Aaah...", like that. - Yes.- I love that.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39In fact, I can already feel it, I can already feel
0:24:39 > 0:24:40that that moment is coming.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43And it's that moment when you just go, "That's it.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46"We can all settle down now in front of the fire.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49"We've eaten, we've had something to drink, we've done church,
0:24:49 > 0:24:51"there's a little bit of time off."
0:24:51 > 0:24:54The only time that doesn't work is if Boxing Day is a Sunday
0:24:54 > 0:24:57cos then you have to go back out on the Sunday morning to church.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Of course. - I think your Christmas dinner
0:25:00 > 0:25:03is about to come a little bit early this year. Right.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- Roasties.- The best bit.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Beautiful, Mr Myers.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14And the beauty of this is you can have some of the breast meat
0:25:14 > 0:25:19and some of the leg meat. No bones, no sinew, nothing nasty.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- What would you like?- I'll have a bit of both, please, yeah.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I knew you were going to say that. KATE LAUGHS
0:25:28 > 0:25:32There we go. Let me do one more.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- How are we doing so far, Kate? - That's great.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36That's a good Yorkshire portion of meat there.
0:25:36 > 0:25:40See, that's why I wasn't going anywhere near any southern portions,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- you know. Oh, no! - This is such a treat,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45having someone else cooking Christmas dinner for me.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Now, as is Christmas tradition in the King and Myers' household,
0:25:48 > 0:25:50you put the gravy on yourself.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- And then can I keep the rest to dip my bread in later?- Yeah.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Shall we say grace? - Ah, I'd love to.- Go on, then.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08For friends, family and food, we are thankful and grateful.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11God bless us, each and every one, and a Merry Christmas, all.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas and cheers.- Cheers.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Now, if I bless the whole thing, we have to drink it all.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- Once it's consecrated, you have to finish it.- Crack on, Kate.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22THEY LAUGH
0:26:22 > 0:26:25- Right, please dig in, Kate. - Are you sure?- Yes, of course.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- We want to know what you think about the turkey.- Right, OK.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36The gravy's not bad either, is it?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38It's really good. Are you going to have some?
0:26:38 > 0:26:39- Oh, come on, right.- Let's have a go.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Come on, dig in. I'll fight you for it.
0:26:42 > 0:26:43I'll fight you for that dark meat.
0:26:43 > 0:26:47- I'll cut that, Kate, then you can have a go.- Well done.- Thank you.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51- Happy?- It's a meal fit for Jesus himself, I would say.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Stuffed rolled turkey breast and legs,
0:26:56 > 0:26:59a spectacular way to celebrate Christmas.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06For me, the best presents are home-made ones.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08You know, chutneys and jams.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11But Jo Ingleby has got a great alternative to those -
0:27:11 > 0:27:15a Spanish-inspired gift called membrillo.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21You don't have to be Spanish to enjoy membrillo
0:27:21 > 0:27:23at Christmas, absolutely not.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25So, it looks a bit like jelly.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27It's quite a dark red winey colour
0:27:27 > 0:27:30and it's traditionally served with cheeses,
0:27:30 > 0:27:34particularly with Manchego cheese, which is everywhere in Spain.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37It's got the flavour, just the subtle flavour of quince,
0:27:37 > 0:27:39which is quite aromatic,
0:27:39 > 0:27:42and it's using fresh quinces, which are quite an unusual fruit.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46They grow in England, so you can use fresh ones if you have them,
0:27:46 > 0:27:49or you get the really big fat quinces from Middle Eastern shops.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56So, my own Christmas twist to this is to add
0:27:56 > 0:27:58an ingredient that they wouldn't use in Spain,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01but it brings a kind of Mexican feel to your membrillo,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03so that's using a dried chipotle chilli,
0:28:03 > 0:28:07which is actually a jalapeno chilli that's been smoked and dried,
0:28:07 > 0:28:09so it's got a lovely rich smoky flavour.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12I'm not trying to make spicy membrillo here,
0:28:12 > 0:28:15I just want that kind of background flavour of smokiness.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Oh, that really smells of Christmas.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22It's kind of open fires and a little bit of warmth.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25It's quite a cosy feeling as well when you eat it.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39If you want to get a really, really pristine, perfect membrillo,
0:28:39 > 0:28:42you can then pass your puree through a sieve,
0:28:42 > 0:28:44or you can just leave it a little bit rustic.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Today I'm going with the rustic.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50You will probably have a slightly speckled look to your membrillo,
0:28:50 > 0:28:52but that's fine. It's still going to taste delicious.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Even on a low temperature, your membrillo will start to splutter,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06so just be aware of that.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10I tend to have a lid on standby that can go on top of the saucepan,
0:29:10 > 0:29:12just so that you don't get splashed when you're cooking
0:29:12 > 0:29:14cos, if you do, it is very, very hot.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18There's something really magical about quinces.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21When you cook them, especially when you cook them slowly,
0:29:21 > 0:29:23they start to change colour,
0:29:23 > 0:29:25and the longer you leave it, the darker it gets.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29So, once the magical wine colour has appeared, you're basically done.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34It needs to be in a cool place and it should set overnight.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46I've done mine with some cellophane
0:29:46 > 0:29:49and also some decorative tissue paper.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51I'm going to give this to everybody this Christmas,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54so all friends and family are going to get some membrillo
0:29:54 > 0:29:57and they'll probably get some cheese to go along with it.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09Our brilliant guest today, well, he was expected,
0:30:09 > 0:30:12but he may have brought some unexpected guests with him.
0:30:12 > 0:30:17- Jon Culshaw.- Hello, nice to see you.- Merry Christmas, Jon.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21- Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas to you too.- So, do you like Christmas?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23It's a wonderful time of year.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25I always call it the time of year
0:30:25 > 0:30:27when you restore your factory settings.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30I love to go home, shut the door and, for two weeks
0:30:30 > 0:30:33or whatever the amount of time, just do nothing.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35- Just do nothing.- We've got a bit of a surprise for you
0:30:35 > 0:30:37because what we're going to do
0:30:37 > 0:30:39is we're actually going to make a Christmas cake.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43Don't you have to make your Christmas cakes in September, Si?
0:30:43 > 0:30:45No, not with this one, Dave! You see what he did there?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47It was good that, wasn't it?
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Not with this one because it's a relatively quick one.
0:30:49 > 0:30:53First thing I'm going to do is I'm going to zest an orange,
0:30:53 > 0:30:55a lemon and a lime.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00I am going to cream together some butter and some sugar.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03That's splendid, isn't it? Look at all that butter and sugar -
0:31:03 > 0:31:06- the greatest things in this world. - Ever.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12Getting the aroma now, that sugary buttery aroma.
0:31:12 > 0:31:13I'm going to add four eggs.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16What was Christmas like when you were a child, Jon?
0:31:16 > 0:31:18It was wonderful. It was just very...
0:31:18 > 0:31:22I remember the Kays catalogue. Do you remember the Kays catalogue?
0:31:22 > 0:31:25- Yes.- And you sort of sensed that there was potential here,
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- you may receive some of these things at Christmas.- It's on its way.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32Santa's coming, yeah. And what traditions do you maintain?
0:31:32 > 0:31:35I always have a tradition whereby from Christmas Eve
0:31:35 > 0:31:39to New Year's Day, you're allowed to have chocolates for breakfast.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42THEY LAUGH Brilliant!
0:31:42 > 0:31:46I just love the sense of doing absolutely nothing.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50I love that time of the day, you know, the late afternoon,
0:31:50 > 0:31:53winter sunsets, when the stars start to come out.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56And it's wonderful to get out into that.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Now, I'm going to add our spices.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01So, we have cinnamon, mace, allspice,
0:32:01 > 0:32:05nutmeg and cloves, and a little bit of cardamom.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07- There we go.- Ah, splendid.
0:32:07 > 0:32:13And then we're going to take the juice of an orange and the flour.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17And then we add some ground almonds.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19And this little beauty.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22This is orange blossom water.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24- Have a smell. It just gives...- Ooh.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27If you don't want to cook with it, you can dab it behind your ears.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31Exactly. And that's the basic mix.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33- But there isn't that much of it, is there?- No.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36And that's the thing with Christmas cake. This is what you want in it.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40Basically, I've got the zest of my orange, my lemon and my lime.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42That's quite nice, isn't it?
0:32:42 > 0:32:44That's all your five a day in one glorious cake mix.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46You've got 15 in this one, Jon!
0:32:46 > 0:32:50And I've got some dried apricots, currants...
0:32:51 > 0:32:53..raisins...
0:32:55 > 0:32:57..and sultanas.
0:32:58 > 0:33:03The inevitable glace cherries, orange and lemon candied peel.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07And now, this is something we always do with fruit cake, dried pineapple.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10And our nut of choice for this cake is cashew nuts.
0:33:10 > 0:33:14So, we give this a stir and then, again,
0:33:14 > 0:33:18to continue with our almost kind of tropical theme,
0:33:18 > 0:33:21using 100ml of white rum.
0:33:23 > 0:33:28Oh, yes! When did you start to do impressions then, Jon?
0:33:28 > 0:33:30I think it was probably,
0:33:30 > 0:33:33a big part of it was watching Mike Yarwood's Christmas shows.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34- Yes.- Of course, yeah.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36It was wonderful watching Mike
0:33:36 > 0:33:39and the wonderful, ingenious thing about Mike,
0:33:39 > 0:33:42- is he was the first big-time TV impressionist.- Yes.
0:33:42 > 0:33:43And the way he was so smart
0:33:43 > 0:33:46to understand the multi-cameras and the split screens.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49- AS MIKE YARWOOD:- We're here. Now, we're over on this camera.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51- And he just had that so smart.- Yes.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54- AS PATRICK MOORE:- And probably a repeat of The Sky At Night
0:33:54 > 0:33:56with Sir Patrick Moore,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59who I found very, very captivating, very, very fascinating indeed,
0:33:59 > 0:34:00speaking very, very quickly
0:34:00 > 0:34:02and one eye open slightly more than the other.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04LAUGHTER
0:34:04 > 0:34:08So, I think that probably teed things off as well.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11There's something about what you do and how you deliver it
0:34:11 > 0:34:15is absolutely hilarious and it is so precise though.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19Do you watch videos of people and then look at yourself in the mirror?
0:34:19 > 0:34:23- How does it evolve?- It's... You do watch videos over and over again.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26You download a clip onto the tablet
0:34:26 > 0:34:28and just watch it over and over again.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30If you listen over and over again to something...
0:34:30 > 0:34:32- AS OZZY OSBOURNE:- And you have it locked in your mind.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34I'm imagining Ozzy Osbourne now.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37You know, that sort of little wobble that he does.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39It sort of puts you in a good mood, you know.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43You just see the people and play it out there.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45Is there a science to it, do you think?
0:34:45 > 0:34:49Yeah, I think you're looking for the aspects of someone's voice
0:34:49 > 0:34:52or their mannerisms which are funny.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55You want to know which bits to exaggerate to find the humour.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58You want to look for the little nuances and foibles
0:34:58 > 0:35:01that perhaps people don't realise they've noticed.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04And then you get a lovely element of surprise with that.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07- AS BRIAN COX:- One of my favourites is Professor Brian Cox,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10who has this very specific delivery.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Sometimes a word has a time like that
0:35:13 > 0:35:15to explain the concepts
0:35:15 > 0:35:19and our cake is very much like the laws of physics
0:35:19 > 0:35:20which bind the galaxy together.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24If the fruit over there represents the stars and planets
0:35:24 > 0:35:26and the planet-forming regions,
0:35:26 > 0:35:29then this represents the dark matter and dark energy
0:35:29 > 0:35:33that will bind the galaxy together, in there.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35LAUGHTER
0:35:36 > 0:35:39It's like being with Coxy, isn't it? It's bizarre!
0:35:39 > 0:35:42- We've got a houseful!- But it's your mannerisms as well though.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45It just draws you straight in. It's fabulous.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48- AS DONALD TRUMP:- Yes, I think the greatest one of those
0:35:48 > 0:35:51is probably the Donald. It's probably the Donald.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54Welcome to the Trump Hairy Bikers' steakhouse and cake-making store.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56This is fantastic. You will not believe
0:35:56 > 0:35:58how great this cake is going to be. It's a great cake.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01It's so fantastic. It's absolutely great.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03He has mannerisms like that.
0:36:03 > 0:36:07- Look at that. That's quite glorious. - It is, look at the colours.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09And now, we're just go to fold it in.
0:36:10 > 0:36:14On cookery programmes, they always say prepare your cake tin.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17We've done this, but we want to show you how. It's a normal cake tin.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19We've greased the bottom with some butter
0:36:19 > 0:36:24and cut a disc of baking parchment that fits the bottom of that tin.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- Oh, yeah.- Now it needs what I liken to a chef's hat
0:36:27 > 0:36:30and what it does is it stops the top of the cake from burning,
0:36:30 > 0:36:34cos this cake is going to be in the oven for about three hours.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38I have to say, this is a heavy mix. There we go.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Now, this needs to go into a preheated oven
0:36:41 > 0:36:45at 180 degrees Celsius for one hour.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49After the hour, turn it down to 150 degrees Celsius.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52See you later.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01So, Jon, when do you exchange presents?
0:37:01 > 0:37:05I think we have lunch and then just sort of sit back
0:37:05 > 0:37:09in that beautiful zonked-out state.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13I think that's one of life's little luxuries. I feel like that now.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Well, funny, because this is the perfect time then,
0:37:17 > 0:37:19because we've got a little something for you.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22Thank you, I'm very touched, I'm very touched.
0:37:22 > 0:37:23Thank you for coming on the show.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27I'm opening the paper very carefully, so it can be reused.
0:37:27 > 0:37:29- Are you one of those?- Yes.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32- You are not! Oh, Jon!- Oh, no!
0:37:32 > 0:37:34- Come on, man!- Oh!
0:37:34 > 0:37:36- AS PATRICK MOORE:- There we are.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39Now, that is quite, quite magnificent.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Christmas, of course, the height of the astronomy season.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44And through those, yes, very, very marvellous.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46We can see the Pleiades quite clearly.
0:37:46 > 0:37:49Very faint with the naked eye but put the binoculars on them
0:37:49 > 0:37:52and you will see the richness of it. Quite magnificent.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55- It's well known, Jon, that you have a love of astronomy.- Yes.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58When you're with Brian Cox on the programmes,
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- do you find yourself inadvertently impersonating him?- At times.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05- AS BRIAN COX:- I think he finds it quite fascinating
0:38:05 > 0:38:08to see the vocal patterns that we have.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10There was one time, he said, "I see you do this with your hand.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12"I've stopped doing it now."
0:38:14 > 0:38:19Of all your impressions, which one is it you think brought you to fame?
0:38:19 > 0:38:21- AS WILLIAM HAGUE:- I suppose it might have been William Hague.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23That was quite notorious, yes.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27I was working with Steve Penk, at the time, over on Capital Radio,
0:38:27 > 0:38:30and we were talking about a new William Hague impression
0:38:30 > 0:38:33and talking, "Well, we might as well phone Downing Street."
0:38:33 > 0:38:36So, Steve got the number of the Cabinet Office
0:38:36 > 0:38:40from Directory Enquiries, just like that.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43The idea of the joke was meant to be Hague would say...
0:38:43 > 0:38:46- AS HAGUE:- Yes, could I speak to the Prime Minister?
0:38:46 > 0:38:49And someone would say, "No, go away Stop wasting our time."
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- AS HAGUE:- Well, am I not important enough? This is an outrage!
0:38:52 > 0:38:56But the very helpful lady said, "Yes, who is it, please?"
0:38:56 > 0:38:58- AS HAGUE:- Yes, it's William Hague.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00"Just a moment, we'll fetch the Prime Minister."
0:39:01 > 0:39:05- He appeared on the line. - AS TONY BLAIR:- Yes, hello. Ha-ha-ha.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07He had that unmistakable sort of voice, you know,
0:39:07 > 0:39:11always with a grin there. And I think what's important is...
0:39:11 > 0:39:13Your body language stiffens
0:39:13 > 0:39:16and your face becomes a little bit like the Joker
0:39:16 > 0:39:21and then your body language sort of takes on the form of C-3PO.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Ha-ha-ha.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25In the press, at the time, Blair had always said...
0:39:25 > 0:39:27- AS BLAIR:- Let's be informal, just call me Tony.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29But William Hague wouldn't go along with that.
0:39:29 > 0:39:33- AS HAGUE:- Rather sardonically, addressed him as "Prime Minister".
0:39:33 > 0:39:37- So, when on this call, I said... - AS HAGUE:- You all right, Tony?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39- AS BLAIR:- He knew something was up,
0:39:39 > 0:39:42- but he played along good-naturedly. - Gosh.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46- It's about time we did the cake and took it out of the oven.- Ooh.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49- I think so.- Should we?- Yeah, come on.- I can't wait to see that.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51- AS PATRICK MOORE:- Let's have a look. It's looking in good form.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Excellent. It's looking in very good form from here.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- Ta-da!- Oh, look! - The cake is in the house.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01- Because it's Christmas, we have to make an effort, don't we?- We do.
0:40:01 > 0:40:04We do. What we've got in here is apricot jam.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06We're going to melt it down and then...
0:40:06 > 0:40:08We're going to apply marzipan.
0:40:08 > 0:40:13- Flip your cake and put the marzipan on that side.- Flat surface.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15This is our apricot jam, nice and liquid.
0:40:15 > 0:40:21This is the glue that's going to stick our wonderful marzipan
0:40:21 > 0:40:22to our lovely Christmas cake.
0:40:22 > 0:40:26And all you do is that. There we go.
0:40:28 > 0:40:34And there is our cake, ready to receive its lovely winter coat.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37We've bought ready-rolled marzipan.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41- I think it's going to work, dude. - Look at that.- It is.
0:40:41 > 0:40:46We just mould that down with your hands. Look how smooth that is.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48We'll cut this round here.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53Mr King, make it beautiful.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Oh, it's beginning to sizzle.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11- AS OBI-WAN KENOBI:- The force will be with you always.- Thank you, Jon.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Now, over here, we've got all manner of decorations.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17We've got the ubiquitous sprig of holly. That's a good bit.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19- Oh, nice.- That'll do. We're just going to use those
0:41:19 > 0:41:21as like almost Christmas decorations on the cake.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24- Shall we start with this?- Yeah.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Just push it in, so it stays in place.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Put that there.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Ah, that's nice, Dave, just that, actually. It looks lovely.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Because it is a spiced Christmas cake,
0:41:36 > 0:41:38- so we want to give that idea of spice.- Yeah.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42Just to finish, that little coronet. Do you think that's enough, Si?
0:41:42 > 0:41:44I certainly, certainly do.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46- Yes.- It's a work of art, that.
0:41:46 > 0:41:51Well, that is our last-minute spiced Christmas cake, Jon.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54That is wonderful. What a work of art that is.
0:41:54 > 0:41:58- Well, it's as much for eating as decoration.- Absolutely.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01- Go on, Kingy, let's have a slice. - Are we allowed to now?- Yes, we are.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03- I've been waiting for this. - Let's go here.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Got just the right amount of resistance, hasn't it, the cake?
0:42:08 > 0:42:11- It's sort of fights back a little bit.- OK.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13- Oh, my goodness.- Look at that.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16- Oh, it's a good looker. - Right, come on let's go.- May I?
0:42:16 > 0:42:18My mother used to say it was almost too nice to cut.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20THEY LAUGH
0:42:22 > 0:42:24- What do you reckon?- Mmm.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27- Good?- Oh!
0:42:28 > 0:42:30- Mmm.- Mmm.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32- AS TRUMP:- I think this is a wonderful cake. It's so beautiful.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35It was so wonderful to witness how you made it.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37And the marzipan, I'm going to use it
0:42:37 > 0:42:39as my hair for when it's raining,
0:42:39 > 0:42:41and that's going to be something tasty.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43You would not believe how great that cake is. It's a great cake.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47It's fantastic. I love how you did that. That is fantastic.
0:42:47 > 0:42:52Last-minute Christmas cake. Rich, fruity and spectacular.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56- Cheers, Jon. - Jon, a very merry Christmas.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59- Merry Christmas to you.- Cheers. - Thank you for having me.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01- Merry Christmas.- Merry Christmas.