0:00:02 > 0:00:04Christmas - we love this time of year.
0:00:04 > 0:00:09Yeah, wrapping presents, decorating the tree and generally making merry.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11And nothing beats a bit of Christmas
0:00:11 > 0:00:12home cooking shared
0:00:12 > 0:00:14with family and friends.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Delicious festive food for all occasions,
0:00:17 > 0:00:20packed with flavour and full of love.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21Ding dong merrily on high.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23And we'll be joined by some familiar
0:00:23 > 0:00:26faces to get us all into the festive spirit.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Oh, my goodness!
0:00:27 > 0:00:30That is preposterously wonderful.
0:00:30 > 0:00:31ALL: Merry Christmas.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34We'll also find out how to make someone's day with
0:00:34 > 0:00:37delicious home-made foodie gifts.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43So, hang up your stockings, tweak your tinsel,
0:00:43 > 0:00:46turn on your fairy lights and relax.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48BOTH: We're home for Christmas!
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Dave, imagine...- Mmm?
0:01:06 > 0:01:09You're having a quiet family Christmas, the telly's on,
0:01:09 > 0:01:11the phone is off, and then the doorbell rings.
0:01:11 > 0:01:12DAVE GASPS
0:01:12 > 0:01:15An unexpected guest is stood outside.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17What do you do? We've all been there, dude.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Hide behind the sofa!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20No, you don't!
0:01:20 > 0:01:22You invite them in for a drink.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23And cook them up something festive,
0:01:23 > 0:01:25tasty and quick.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34We're making orange and honey-glazed salmon with roast Parmesan
0:01:34 > 0:01:36cauliflower and cashew nuts.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40And a last-minute Christmas cake that will wow your visitors.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Our unexpected guest is Jon Culshaw,
0:01:43 > 0:01:45and it turns into a bit of a house full.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- (AS DONALD TRUMP):- Welcome here to the Trump Hairy Bikers' Steakhouse And Cake Making Store.
0:01:48 > 0:01:53This is fantastic. You would not believe how great this cake is going to be. It's a great cake.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Hark, who's that at the door?
0:01:58 > 0:01:59An unexpected guest.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Hello, unexpected guest, I expect you're hungry.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- I am.- What do I do? Do I panic, do I fret?- Ah!
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Do I heck, cos we always have loads of ideas,
0:02:08 > 0:02:12but this one is literally a cracker.
0:02:12 > 0:02:17We've got potted cheese with bacon and shallots and home-made crackers.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Right. First off, we're going to use wholemeal flour.
0:02:20 > 0:02:25In here I've got some salt, dried yeast and some baking powder,
0:02:25 > 0:02:27and we just give this a stir round.
0:02:27 > 0:02:32Now, while Dave's stirring, I'm going to put some butter into a bowl,
0:02:32 > 0:02:34some honey, to feed Dave's yeast...
0:02:37 > 0:02:41..and I'm going to emulsify all of that together...
0:02:41 > 0:02:43..with some water. Warm.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47Give it a whisk.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52In we go.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57- There you are, mate.- And you'll be surprised how many crackers you get
0:02:57 > 0:02:59out this frugal amount of flour.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01You do, actually, there's loads! It's brilliant.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Oh, it is.- Oh, it's coming together quite well, that.- Ooh, aye.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Now, this needs to be kneaded for just a couple of minutes.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Show 'em what you're made of, Brutus.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12We're kneading to get the gluten going in the flour.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16The texture will start to change and become slightly more elastic if...
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Cos you don't want powdery, too crumbly crackers.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- No, you don't.- No! That would be a knackered cracker.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22It would!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27And we can leave that in the fridge.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31It will still rise, the yeast will do its stuff for a couple of hours.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39And this is one that we actually got going a couple of hours ago.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Now, we've had a disagreement.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45You see crackers, to me, are square.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47- Round.- Square.- Round.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50So we're going to make round and square crackers.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52So we take half the dough for the
0:03:52 > 0:03:55square crackers, and half the dough for his...
0:03:56 > 0:03:57..round crackers.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00And we start to roll out.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- It's nice, this, actually.- Oh, it's a lovely dough.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Now, square crackers.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Round crackers.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11There's no point being too pedantic about this.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- That's not like you.- Yeah, I know.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Look at them. Like little lozenges.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Beautiful.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I've got a nonstick tray so we don't need any oil.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30I think I've got more crackers than you.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Mine take up a bigger surface area.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Mine are more aerodynamic.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Mine roll better!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Now, you must prick your cracker.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45If you don't, it's just going to kind of go wobbly.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Do you remember that Christmas I turned up at your house unexpectedly?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Yeah.- I was meant to be having it on me own, up in Scotland.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54And in the end I came down on Christmas Eve.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- You did.- And I stayed till New Year.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58It was brill. You see, that's not unexpected,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00because that's what you do anyway.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Yes, yes.- And that's what I'd do at your house!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- I know...- "I've only come for 24 hours," I was there for a fortnight.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07It's true. Get your feet under the carpet.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09- That's it.- At least he'll always do a bit of cooking.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Now, you need to paint your crackers with olive oil.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14SIMON HUMS
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Right, we've got dressings for this, Kingy.
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- Great, mate.- We've got dried thyme and we've got nigella seeds.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22And you get a lovely speckly cracker.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Coming together, these, aren't they? - They're lovely.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Right.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Now, we'll just pop those into a HOT preheated oven, 220 Celsius,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35for 8-10 minutes.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Keep an eye on your crackers, you don't want them burning.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Meanwhile, we'll get on with our potted cheese.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49This is a treasure.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52It's the best cheese spread you've ever tasted.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55And it calls for clarified butter.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Now, you can buy it in most supermarkets, clarified butter,
0:05:58 > 0:06:00but I'm going to show you how to do it at home.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02So it starts with just melting the butter.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05While that's clarifying, Kingy, I'm just going to chop up the shallots.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11That is all the butter solids that's gone to the top,
0:06:11 > 0:06:15so what we need to do is, we just need to take that off.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Just skim that off, like that.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20And that's your clarified butter.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Now, what we're going to do is strain it,
0:06:22 > 0:06:24just to make sure that any little bits of butter solids that are
0:06:24 > 0:06:27still left are caught...
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- ..in the cloth.- Right, I think those crackers are done, Si.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Great.- Ooh, yours are, on the top.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Look at those, eh?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- Let's put these on here.- Oh, wow!
0:06:38 > 0:06:39- Beautiful.- Lovely.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Home-made crackers.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- How nice.- They're lovely, aren't they?
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Now, I need some of the clarified butter, just a splash in the pan.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I'm going to fry the bacon until it's crispy.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52And as it's frying,
0:06:52 > 0:06:56it'll start to leech all of that beautiful bacon fat as well,
0:06:56 > 0:07:01which will mix with the butter and form a lovely flavour for our
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- potted cheese.- Yeah, I mean the potted cheese is not for the faint-hearted,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08or those that are worried about their waistlines at Christmas.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- Er, no.- I may have a teaspoon, and that'll be it.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Yes, and same for me, David.- Yes.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14So we set this aside.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Now, we're going to add the shallot to this...
0:07:19 > 0:07:22..and just cook the shallot down.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Now, the bacon needs chopping pretty finely.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31This is so crispy, so tempted to pinch bits.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- Right, I think we're there with the shallots.- Yeah?
0:07:34 > 0:07:35I'll get on with the old cheese.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, thank you.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Now, this is where the fun starts,
0:07:39 > 0:07:41with me trusty Christmas blender.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44First, we put the bacon in.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Shallots.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Half a teaspoon of English mustard.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Some sherry.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51And then the cheese.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56And the clarified butter.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59We want to reserve some of this to put on the top of our pot.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02And just process.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Beautiful!
0:08:09 > 0:08:10- Ooh!- Ooh, yeah.- Yes.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15That's a beautiful spreading texture.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Now I want the reserved bacon.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20And the reserved shallot.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26And this would keep in the refrigerator
0:08:26 > 0:08:28for at least a week or two.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Well, IT would keep a week or two but I'm not sure you could be able
0:08:32 > 0:08:33to keep it for a week or two!
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Absolutely.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Right, Mr King. Time to take this to the potting shed.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Perfect.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47There we go. We then put...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52..the butter over the top.
0:08:52 > 0:08:53Oh, look at that, it looks brilliant.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56And the nice thing is, that butter on the top's going to set.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00When it sets, it's going to help to preserve your potted cheese.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01We need to put that away.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- I think we'll just let that set, shall we?- Yeah.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Cor, pot, cracker.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- Cracker. - Cracker.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Them round ones are great. - Square ones are great.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- I think it's good to have an assortment, don't you?- I do, Dave.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- I think that's enough, do you? - I think so.- Look at that.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Yeah, so when your guests come round,
0:09:30 > 0:09:34"Ooh, this is just something we knocked up last week, just in case you came,
0:09:34 > 0:09:36"and I'm glad you did."
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Let's try 'em.- Yeah, come on.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42Because your square ones are so lovely,
0:09:42 > 0:09:43I'm going to try one of your square ones.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Because your round ones are equally as lovely,
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I'm going to try one of yours.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Oh!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Oh, marvellous.- Merry Christmas.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Merry Christmas, mate.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- Mmm.- Mmm.- Oh, you must come again.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Oh, I will. I know I was unexpected, but this is epic.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Mmm. It's as if I planned for it, isn't it?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Ooh, crikey, these are good.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- Aren't they?- Oh, yeah.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Potted cheese with bacon and shallots and home-made crackers.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Well worth making, just in case the doorbell rings.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Now, if it's likely this Christmas that you may have some mates that
0:10:19 > 0:10:25"drop in", why not have a handful of home-made pressies to give to them?
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Eshe Brown has a super gift idea which is
0:10:29 > 0:10:32fabulously festive and takes no time at all.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Mulled wine is Christmas personified, you know?
0:10:37 > 0:10:42It kind of reminds me of snowy, cold nights drinking wine to warm up, so
0:10:42 > 0:10:44it's just really Christmassy and, yeah,
0:10:44 > 0:10:46got a great, festive feeling when you have it.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49So, I'm making a mulled wine kit that you can give as a gift, so
0:10:49 > 0:10:52anyone can make their own mulled wine.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54It's a family recipe that my mum taught me,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58and I always look forward to it happening close to Christmas time.
0:10:58 > 0:10:59It reminds me of Christmas Eve,
0:10:59 > 0:11:02when you're getting the presents wrapped and you're having a nice
0:11:02 > 0:11:04glass of mulled wine.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Goes really well with mince pies, as well, which I also often
0:11:06 > 0:11:10make on Christmas Eve, and leave out for Father Christmas!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13It can almost, sort of, be like an emergency wine kit if you need it, as well.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Obviously, Christmas period can be a little bit stressful,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18so this is quite a nice gift to give people.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Really Christmassy flavours.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24I think the cinnamon and the orange, particularly,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26just making you feel ready for Christmas, making it.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33I think it's quite nice to have a little bit of cellophane round the
0:11:33 > 0:11:36outside as well. You just bring it all together and tie a ribbon around it, so it's a
0:11:36 > 0:11:40little parcel, and then all you have to do is just tie it to the bottle
0:11:40 > 0:11:43of red wine that you're going to give. You can pop a few cinnamon sticks on the
0:11:43 > 0:11:47outside, or some dried orange slices - that makes it look really Christmassy, as well.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Got the complete kit, you don't need anything else.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52Great to bring to a party, as well.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55So if you're going to a party and someone might not have already
0:11:55 > 0:11:58thought about making it, you can bring this along and you can do it there.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Good to go! - SHE LAUGHS
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Our brilliant guest today, well, he was expected,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10but he may have brought some unexpected guests with him -
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Jon Culshaw!
0:12:12 > 0:12:13THEY CHEER
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Hello, nice to see you! - Merry Christmas, Jon!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Merry Christmas to you, too. Merry Christmas to you, too.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20So, do you like Christmas?
0:12:20 > 0:12:21It's a wonderful time of year.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25I always call it the time of year where you restore your factory settings.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27And I love to go home, shut the door,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31and for two weeks, or whatever the amount of time, just do nothing.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- It's great.- Just do nothing.- We've got a bit of a surprise for you,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37because what we're going to do is, we're actually going to make a Christmas cake.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Don't you have to make your Christmas cakes in September, Si?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43No. Not with this one, Dave.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45You see what he did there? Was good that, wasn't it?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Not with this one, because it's a relatively quick one.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51The first thing I'm going to do is, I'm going to zest an orange,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53a lemon and a lime.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56I am going to cream together some butter...
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- ..and some sugar.- That's splendid, isn't it?
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Look at that, all that butter and sugar, the greatest things in this world!- Ever.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06THEY LAUGH
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I'm getting the aroma now, that sugary, buttery aroma.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I'm going to add four eggs.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14So what was Christmas like when you were a child, Jon?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Oh, it was wonderful. It was just very...
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I remember the Kay's catalogue.
0:13:19 > 0:13:20- Do you remember the Kay's catalogue? - Yes!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23And you sort of sensed that there was potential here,
0:13:23 > 0:13:25you may receive some of these things at Christmas.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27It's on its way, Santa's coming!
0:13:27 > 0:13:31- Yes.- Yeah. And what do you do, what traditions do you maintain?
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I always have a tradition whereby,
0:13:32 > 0:13:35from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day,
0:13:35 > 0:13:38we're allowed to have chocolates for breakfast.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44- That's brilliant!- But I just love the sense of doing absolutely nothing,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46and just going at the pace of the days,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48just, how they unfold.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51People visit, you might stroll out somewhere, long country walks.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54So, do you like winter? Is that one of your favourite seasons?
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Yes, I do. I think it's a most beautiful time of year.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Astronomy season for one thing.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Yes.- So the frosts tend to give you those beautiful,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- piercingly clear skies.- Absolutely.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10And I love that time of the day, the late afternoon, winter sunsets,
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- when the stars start to come out, and it's just wonderful to get out into that.- Fab.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Now, I'm going to add our spices.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20So we have cinnamon, mace, allspice,
0:14:20 > 0:14:23nutmeg and cloves, and a little bit of cardamom.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24There we go.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Ah, splendid.
0:14:26 > 0:14:31And then we're going to take the juice of an orange and the flour.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35And then we add some ground almonds.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38And this little beauty.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41This is orange blossom water.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Have a smell. And it just gives, if you don't want to cook with it,
0:14:44 > 0:14:46you can dab it behind your ears.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50- Exactly.- So, and that's the basic mix.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51But there isn't that much of it, is there?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- No.- And that's the thing with Christmas cake, this is what you want in it.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Basically, I've got the zest of my orange, my lemon and my lime.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00It's quite nice, isn't it?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03It's all your five a day in one glorious cake mix!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05You've got 15 in this one, Jon!
0:15:05 > 0:15:08And I've got some dried apricots.
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Currants.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Raisins.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15And sultanas.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20The inevitable glace cherries.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Orange and lemon candied peel.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26And now, this is something we always do in a fruitcake, dried pineapple.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29And our nut of choice for this cake is cashew nuts.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31So, we give this a stir, and then...
0:15:32 > 0:15:37Again, to continue with our...almost, kind of, tropical theme,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39using 100ml of white rum.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- Oh, yes.- Yes.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Which Christmas traditions when you were a kid did you absolutely love,
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Jon?- I think, when you got the snow,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54and I could go into the garage, and my dad would get the sledge down
0:15:54 > 0:15:57from the roof above the Mini,
0:15:57 > 0:16:00just to take it on to the school field opposite,
0:16:00 > 0:16:04where there was a big old hill, and just sledge on down.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Oh, it's just the best feeling, isn't it?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09And the first time of doing it every year,
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- you'd see sort of like trails of rust where the sledge would...- Yeah!
0:16:13 > 0:16:15..all the rust would be removed by the snow.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17You could sort of see where you'd been.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21But, yeah, the chance of some Winter Olympics sledging in your own back yard.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Oh, it's just, on the toboggan, it's just brilliant, wasn't it?
0:16:24 > 0:16:26When did you start to do impressions then, Jon?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I think it was probably,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31a big part of it was watching Mike Yarwood's Christmas shows.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- Yes.- Of course, yeah.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36It was wonderful watching Mike and the wonderful,
0:16:36 > 0:16:40ingenious thing about Mike is, he was the first big-time TV impressionist.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44- Yes.- And the way he was so smart to understand the multi cameras and the
0:16:44 > 0:16:46split screen. Oh, you're...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48"And now we're over on this camera,"
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- and he just had that so smart.- Yes.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54And probably, a repeat of The Sky At Night with Sir Patrick Moore,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57who I found very, very captivating, very fascinating indeed,
0:16:57 > 0:17:01speaking very, very quickly and one eye open slightly more than the other.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:17:03 > 0:17:06So, I think, yes, that probably teed things off as well.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10Hey, we've got a lot more guests coming round than we expected!
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I know, they are starting to show up.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I've become Paul O'Grady for no reason at all.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:17:15 > 0:17:18That looks great. I'm looking forward to the glorious union of
0:17:18 > 0:17:20that and that, when it comes together.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22SI AND DAVE: The glorious union!
0:17:22 > 0:17:23There's something about,
0:17:23 > 0:17:25there's something about what you do and how you deliver it,
0:17:25 > 0:17:29is absolutely hilarious, and it is so precise though.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Do you watch videos of people and then look at yourself in the mirror?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- How does it evolve?- Yes, it's...
0:17:35 > 0:17:38You do watch videos over and over again,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41just download the clip on to the tablet and just watch it over and over again.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43If you listen over and over again to something...
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- Yes.- ..and you have it, like, in your mind.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- (AS OZZY):- Ozzy Osborne, I'm imagining Ozzy Osborne now, you know.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52That sort of, like, little wobble that he does, it just sort of
0:17:52 > 0:17:53puts you in a good mood, you know.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:17:54 > 0:17:57And you just see the people and get it out there.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Is there a science to it, do you think?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Yeah, I think there is. You're looking for the aspect of someone's
0:18:02 > 0:18:06voice or their mannerisms which are funny,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09but you want to know which bits to exaggerate, to find the humour.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12You want to look for the little nuances and foibles that perhaps
0:18:12 > 0:18:15people don't realise they've noticed,
0:18:15 > 0:18:18and then you get a lovely element of surprise with that.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21One of my favourite is Professor Brian Cox...
0:18:21 > 0:18:27- (AS BRIAN COX):- ..who has this very specific delivery sometimes a word at a time, like that,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29to explain the concepts.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34And our cake is very much like the laws of physics which bind the galaxy together.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38If the fruit over there represents the stars and the planets,
0:18:38 > 0:18:40and the planet-forming regions,
0:18:40 > 0:18:44then this represents the dark matter and dark energy that will bind the
0:18:44 > 0:18:47galaxy together, and...
0:18:47 > 0:18:48SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:18:50 > 0:18:52It's like being with Coxy, isn't it?
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- It's bizarre! - We've got a house full!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57But it's your mannerisms as well, though,
0:18:57 > 0:18:59it just draws you straight in. It's fabulous.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03- (AS TRUMP):- Well, yes, I think the greatest one of those is probably The Donald.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07It's probably The Donald. Welcome here to the Trump Hairy Bikers
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Steakhouse And Cake Making Store. This is fantastic,
0:19:09 > 0:19:12you would not believe how great this cake is going to be, it's a great cake.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14It's so fantastic, it's absolutely great.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- His mannerisms are like that.- I tell you what, there's about 15 people that's just come in.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21I know, we need to make two cakes!
0:19:21 > 0:19:26So really, the only waiting time in this cake is we need the flavours in
0:19:26 > 0:19:29here to develop for at least 24 hours.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33Now, three days ago, I did one.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Ah-ha!- Now we should get a bit of a hoof.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40It even looks more relaxed, doesn't it?
0:19:40 > 0:19:42It's plumped up. Smell that, Jon.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Oh, my gosh.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48There should be them plug-in air fresheners that smell like that.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- Yeah.- It is. You could can that, couldn't you?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53I love that. That would be brilliant as a room spray at Christmas, wouldn't it? Oh.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Look at that. That's quite glorious.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57It is. Look at the colours.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59And now we're just going to fold it in.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04And make sure it's thoroughly, thoroughly mixed in.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07On cookery programmes they always say, "prepare your cake tin".
0:20:07 > 0:20:11Well, we've done this, but we want to show you how. It's a normal cake tin.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15We've greased the bottom with some butter and cut a disc of baking
0:20:15 > 0:20:18parchment that fits the bottom of that tin.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19Oh, yeah.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Now it needs what I liken to a chef's hat.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24And what it does is, it stops the top of the cake from burning,
0:20:24 > 0:20:27cos this cake is going to be in the oven for about three hours.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I have to say,
0:20:29 > 0:20:31this is a heavy mix.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32There we go.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36And very impressive at short notice, like you say.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Absolutely, well, we've got the President of the United States,
0:20:39 > 0:20:41we've got Brian Cox, we've had them all.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42We've had them all!
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Now, this needs to go into a preheated oven at
0:20:44 > 0:20:48180 degrees Celsius for one hour.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53After the hour, turn it down to 150 Celsius, but keep an eye on it,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56because ovens can vary, and having gone to this bother,
0:20:56 > 0:20:58you don't want your cake, well,
0:20:58 > 0:20:59to come out like a rusk.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00JON LAUGHS
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Thank you.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04There we go.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05See you later.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15So, so, Jon, when do you exchange presents?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17I think, we have lunch,
0:21:17 > 0:21:23and then just sort of sit back in that beautiful zonked out state.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25I think that's one of life's little luxuries.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I feel like that now.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Well, funny, because this is the perfect time, then, because...
0:21:31 > 0:21:33..we've got a little something for you.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Thank you. I'm very touched, I'm very touched.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37And thank you for coming on the show.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40I'm opening the paper very carefully so it can be re-used!
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Are you one of those?!- Yes!
0:21:42 > 0:21:43- You are not!- I am!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Oh, no!- Oh, Jon, come on, man!
0:21:46 > 0:21:47Oh, ho, ho, ho!
0:21:48 > 0:21:52There we are. Now that is quite, quite magnificent.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Christmas, of course, at the height of the astronomy season and through
0:21:55 > 0:21:59those, yes, very, very marvellous, we can see the Pleiades quite clearly.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03Very faint with the naked eye but put the binoculars on and you will
0:22:03 > 0:22:05see the richness of it, quite magnificent.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07It's well known, Jon, that you have a love of astronomy.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- Yes.- When you were with Brian Cox on the programmes,
0:22:11 > 0:22:15do you find yourself inadvertently impersonating him?
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- At times.- (AS BRIAN COX):- I think he finds it quite fascinating to see, you know,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21the vocal patterns that we have.
0:22:21 > 0:22:26There was one time he said, "Yeah, I see you doing this with your hand." "I've stopped doing it now!"
0:22:26 > 0:22:27THEY LAUGH
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Of all your impressions,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32which one is it that you think brought you to fame?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34I suppose it might have been William Hague.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36That was quite notorious, yes.
0:22:36 > 0:22:41I was working with Steve Penk at the time over on Capital Radio,
0:22:41 > 0:22:44and we were talking about a new William Hague impression and talking, that,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46"Well, we might as well phone Downing Street."
0:22:46 > 0:22:52So Steve got the number of the Cabinet Office from directory enquiries,
0:22:52 > 0:22:57just like that. The idea of the joke was meant to be Hague would say,
0:22:57 > 0:23:00"Yes, could I, could I speak to the Prime Minister?" and someone would say,
0:23:00 > 0:23:02"No, go away, stop wasting our time."
0:23:02 > 0:23:04"Well, am I not important enough?"
0:23:04 > 0:23:05"This is an outrage!"
0:23:06 > 0:23:09But the very helpful lady said, "Yes, who is it, please?"
0:23:09 > 0:23:11"Yes, it's William Hague."
0:23:11 > 0:23:13"Just a moment, we'll go and fetch the Prime Minister."
0:23:14 > 0:23:16He appeared on the line.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17- (AS BLAIR):- Hello.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18HE FAKE LAUGHS AS BLAIR
0:23:18 > 0:23:22The unmistakable sort of voice, always with a grin there,
0:23:22 > 0:23:25"And I think what's important is..."
0:23:25 > 0:23:28You know, your body language stiffens and your face becomes a
0:23:28 > 0:23:29little bit like the Joker,
0:23:29 > 0:23:33and then your body language sort of takes on the form of C-3PO.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38And in the press at the time, Blair had always said, you know,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40"Let's be informal, call me Tony."
0:23:40 > 0:23:42But William Hague wouldn't go along with that.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- (AS WILLIAM HAGUE):- Rather sardonically addressed him
0:23:45 > 0:23:46as "Prime Minister".
0:23:47 > 0:23:51So when, on this call, I said, "You all right, Tony?"
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- (AS BLAIR):- He knew something was up, but he played along good-naturedly.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Gosh.- It's about time we did the cake and took it out of the oven.
0:23:59 > 0:24:00- Ooh!- I think so.- Should we?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- Yeah, come on.- I cannae wait to see that.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07- Let's have a look. It's looking in good form.- Excellent.- It's looking in very good form from here.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:24:08 > 0:24:09- Yes.- Da-da!
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Oh, look.- The cake is in the house. - Look at that.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Now, remember, that's been cooked at 180 for one hour
0:24:15 > 0:24:17and two hours at 150 Celsius,
0:24:17 > 0:24:20left to cool, removed from the tin,
0:24:20 > 0:24:21and that is our Christmas cake.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24But you know when you first put your tree up without the decorations,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26it doesn't look up too much.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27- No. Well...- It'd do for me,
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I can imagine eating that with me bare hands!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:24:31 > 0:24:33In a cave somewhere, that would do for me,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35I can sense the texture of that.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Because it's Christmas, we have to make an effort, don't we?
0:24:37 > 0:24:41- We do, we do.- We do. What we've got in here is apricot jam.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43We're going to melt that down, and then...
0:24:43 > 0:24:46We're going to apply marzipan. So, what we do is...
0:24:46 > 0:24:48You look at that, you think, "It's awful lumpy."
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Yes, it is.- What we could do is, you could cut that off.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52No, waste of cake.
0:24:52 > 0:24:57Waste of cake. So what we do is, clean hands, flip your cake,
0:24:57 > 0:24:58and put the marzipan on that side.
0:24:58 > 0:25:02Flat surface. This is our apricot jam, nice and liquid.
0:25:02 > 0:25:07And this is the glue that's going to stick our wonderful marzipan to
0:25:07 > 0:25:08our lovely Christmas cake.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11And all you do is that.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13It's like you're varnishing a piece of good quality woodwork.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15It is! It's exactly that.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- It's exactly that.- I was thinking more about botching up a bitumen-tarred roof.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Look at that shine. Look at that depth of colour.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29It's like Rembrandt's loft.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31There we go.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33And there...
0:25:34 > 0:25:39..is our cake ready to receive its lovely winter coat.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41We've bought ready-rolled marzipan.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Oh, I think it's going to work, dude.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- Yeah, look at that.- It is. And we just mould that down with your
0:25:49 > 0:25:51hands. Look how smooth that is.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52We'll cut this round here.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Mr King, make it beautiful!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Now, this...
0:26:00 > 0:26:02- ..is a blowtorch.- It is the weapon of a Jedi!
0:26:02 > 0:26:03THEY LAUGH
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Now, what we're... I'll turn this off so we can hear.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12What we're going to do is blister the marzipan.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15We want it to go a slightly lovely caramel colour.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Nice and gently does it.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Oh, it's beginning to sizzle.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Oh, look at that.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34There's no mistaking it when it starts to fizz.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35There we go.
0:26:38 > 0:26:42- It's beginning to resemble a giant macaroon.- It is!
0:26:42 > 0:26:43That's what you want.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49The force will be with you, always.
0:26:49 > 0:26:54- Thank you, Jon.- Now, over here, we've got all manner of decorations.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56We've got the ubiquitous sprig of holly.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57- That's a good bit.- Oh, nice.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00That'll do. We're just going to use those as almost Christmas
0:27:00 > 0:27:02decorations on the cake.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Not for eating but for show.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I mean, things like this, we can use this, it's an edible spray.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08You know, we have gold cinnamon.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Beautiful oranges, as well.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12And now, this is the good bit, look at this.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Looks like, kind of, little Christmas trees covered in snow.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Yeah, heavy with frost and snow, beautiful.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21And we're going to show you how to do that.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23What you do is, get an egg white in a bowl, and
0:27:23 > 0:27:25just lightly beat the egg white.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31And we use sprigs of rosemary.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Dip it in the egg white.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And just dip...
0:27:37 > 0:27:40..your rosemary in the caster sugar,
0:27:40 > 0:27:44and literally leave that to dry for an hour or two, out in the open,
0:27:44 > 0:27:46and you end up with this.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49- Your very own little Christmas tree.- Beautiful.
0:27:49 > 0:27:54Right, so this is our palette of decorating ingredients.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Shall we start with this?- Yeah.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Just push it in so it stays in place.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05- I'm going to put that there, so it's...- Oh, that's nice, Dave, just that, actually.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07- Looks lovely.- One on the other side.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Symmetry is everything. Some of the oranges.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11- Oh, yeah, yeah.- I think one, two?
0:28:11 > 0:28:13I think that one there.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14Just the one? OK.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18- Oh, cinnamon. Let's have a couple of gold cinnamon sticks.- Oh, we've got to.
0:28:18 > 0:28:19Crossover, beautiful.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Cos it is a spiced Christmas cake,
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- so we want to give that idea of spice.- Yeah.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Just to finish, that little coronet.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Do you think that's enough, Si?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I certainly, certainly do.
0:28:31 > 0:28:32- Yes.- A work of art, that.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36And I've cut to size...
0:28:36 > 0:28:41- Ah.- Well, that is our last-minute spiced Christmas cake, Jon.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44That is wonderful. What a work of art that is.
0:28:44 > 0:28:48Well, it's as much for eating as decoration.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50- Absolutely.- Go on, Kingy, let's have a slice.
0:28:50 > 0:28:51- Are we allowed to now?- Yes, we are.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53- I've waited for this.- Let's go here.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Got just the right amount of resistance, hasn't it, the cake?
0:28:58 > 0:29:00It sort of fights back a little bit.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02- OK.- Oh, my goodness.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Look at that. It's a good looker.
0:29:05 > 0:29:06- Right, come on, let's go.- May I?
0:29:06 > 0:29:08My mother used to say it was almost too nice to cut.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:29:12 > 0:29:13What do you reckon?
0:29:16 > 0:29:17- Good?- Oh!
0:29:20 > 0:29:23- (AS TRUMP):- I think this is a wonderful cake, it's so beautiful,
0:29:23 > 0:29:25it was so wonderful to witness how you made it.
0:29:25 > 0:29:26And the marzipan,
0:29:26 > 0:29:30I'm going to use it as my hair for when it's raining and that's going
0:29:30 > 0:29:33to be so fantastic. You would not believe how great that cake is,
0:29:33 > 0:29:35it's a great cake, it's fantastic, I love how you did that,
0:29:35 > 0:29:36that is fantastic.
0:29:38 > 0:29:39Last-minute Christmas cake.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42Rich, fruity and spectacular.
0:29:44 > 0:29:49Turning up to someone's house with a home-made festive gift will put a
0:29:49 > 0:29:50smile on anybody's face.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54Olia Hercules shares one of her favourite Christmas treats, which is
0:29:54 > 0:29:56full of seasonal flavours.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Today I'll be making gozinaki,
0:30:03 > 0:30:07which is a traditional Georgian Christmas treat.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13It's like a lovely walnut and honey brittle, basically,
0:30:13 > 0:30:16that every Georgian kid really looks forward to every Christmas.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17It's a real treat.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26It's definitely a gift that feels very Christmassy,
0:30:26 > 0:30:30all the glistening honey makes it feel that way, and also the nuts.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Walnuts are the best in winter.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37One thing, make sure that the walnuts are quite nice.
0:30:38 > 0:30:42But if you can't find nice walnuts, it will work with pecans,
0:30:42 > 0:30:44any other nut of your choice, really.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53I love making it because it just smells so Christmassy
0:30:53 > 0:30:54with the honey,
0:30:54 > 0:30:56but it's all in the taste really.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59That lovely, sweet,
0:30:59 > 0:31:04ever so slightly salty, from the salt, and nutty flavour and texture.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Traditionally, you would cut it into
0:31:10 > 0:31:13diamond shapes which look really wonderful.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22So you can stack them up.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34You can pop them in a box, or you can wrap them just like I am now.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Pack them up really beautifully.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39They just make a perfect present.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44It's very inexpensive to make, and it's very quick, about 15 minutes.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48But the most important thing is that you actually spend those 15 minutes
0:31:48 > 0:31:49making it and wrapping it,
0:31:49 > 0:31:53and it's a really lovely gift that you made with love.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06There's nothing like that sound, is there?
0:32:06 > 0:32:08I don't want to talk over it.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10- There we go.- Ah!- Gentlemen.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13- Well, cheers.- Cheers. - Merry Christmas.
0:32:13 > 0:32:14Merry Christmas, Jon.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Merry Christmas.- What an absolute joy.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19You know when there's a knock on the door and you think,
0:32:19 > 0:32:23"Oh, no, not you four, I forgot I invited you"?
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Well, this recipe is perfect for that occasion.
0:32:25 > 0:32:29It's a bit posh as well. We're going to do an orange-glazed salmon,
0:32:29 > 0:32:32served on roasted cauliflower with cashew nuts.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Right, I'm going to make the sauce.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38The first thing I'm going to do is to peel my knobbly bit of ginger.
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Usual one, fabulous trick, do it with a spoon.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45Right. While Dave's doing that, in here we've got some ginger,
0:32:45 > 0:32:47cinnamon and cardamom.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49We're going to mix that together. So
0:32:49 > 0:32:53very simple, just give it a good,
0:32:53 > 0:32:56good coating, and then we're going to set it aside a little bit just to
0:32:56 > 0:32:58infuse and marinate.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02Be quite a good 'un a barbecue this, wouldn't it?
0:33:02 > 0:33:04It'd be perfect on a barbecue, mate, yeah.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08There we go. And we just let them sit and get the flavours going.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10I'm going to make the sauce.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13This needs to reduce for about ten to 15 minutes.
0:33:13 > 0:33:14I want some honey.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17Can I help, mate, in any way?
0:33:17 > 0:33:19No, I'm all right. It shouldn't take long.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23I asked my parents if I could help with Christmas dinner and they'd say, "Yeah, keep out the way!"
0:33:23 > 0:33:25- Oh, no!- Yes.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27- Get out of the kitchen!- Yes.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Honey.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31Some soy sauce.
0:33:31 > 0:33:32Sweet and savoury.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Lovely.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Four cloves of garlic.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40I tell you what you could do, Kingy.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- What's that, mate?- Could you zest me my orange in there?
0:33:42 > 0:33:43Yeah, absolutely.
0:33:45 > 0:33:46SI CHUCKLES
0:33:47 > 0:33:49- Teamwork at Christmas.- It is, it is.
0:33:49 > 0:33:50It's all-round mob handed.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54And now, my thumb-size pieces.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56We say a thumb-sized piece of ginger.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59Just about there with that one, look.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01Now, that is a thumb-sized piece of ginger.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03It certainly is. There you go, mate.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05Fantastic. Would you juice it for me?
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Indeedy.
0:34:07 > 0:34:08Then the ginger goes in, too.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Now, the orange juice is the last thing to be added,
0:34:14 > 0:34:16the juice of an orange.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19We're just going to cook this - there's not much liquid there -
0:34:19 > 0:34:20until it's nice and thick and syrupy.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24It's just a nice... It really is an intense sauce to put on the salmon.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26But now it's time to get on with the caulie, isn't it?
0:34:26 > 0:34:29- It certainly is.- Are you going to floret?
0:34:29 > 0:34:32I'll floret. So, we break it into small florets.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Try and keep them all the same size so they cook evenly.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39Jon, do you ever meet the people that you do impressions of?
0:34:39 > 0:34:41It has happened, yes.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44Chris Eubank would give me tips on how to do it.
0:34:44 > 0:34:45Well, Chris would, wouldn't he?
0:34:45 > 0:34:48- (AS EUBANK):- I thuppose you thpeak with that, um...
0:34:48 > 0:34:52You exaggerate the lithping for comedic effect.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53But...
0:34:54 > 0:34:55He's a hoot, isn't he?
0:34:55 > 0:34:56SI LAUGHS
0:34:56 > 0:35:00And I remember at a charity event,
0:35:00 > 0:35:02and being introduced to the Prince of Wales.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Oh, wow, right.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08And I was sort of asked to do him in front of him,
0:35:08 > 0:35:10and he sort of said...
0:35:10 > 0:35:13- (AS PRINCE CHARLES):- ..one never knows about all of the foibles and
0:35:13 > 0:35:15idiosyncrasies that one has.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19Yes. I can feel you now, looking at me, watching.
0:35:19 > 0:35:20Practising your technique.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Do you get ever confused?
0:35:23 > 0:35:27Do you get locked in, you know, when you're learning a character, do get locked into that?
0:35:27 > 0:35:28Sometimes you do.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30- (AS LES DAWSON):- Sometimes, Les Dawson.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:35:32 > 0:35:36- (AS ATTENBOROUGH):- Or sometimes, this little robin here has reminded
0:35:36 > 0:35:39me of Sir David Attenborough, and this wonderful creature
0:35:39 > 0:35:41that we can see in many of our gardens.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44It is very nice to see it here,
0:35:44 > 0:35:47sat on an orange in its natural habitat.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Ha! Genius.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52I've just got... This is for the caulie.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54I've got the zest of a lemon going on here,
0:35:54 > 0:35:57and then I'm going to grate a couple of cloves here.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01Jon, could you teach me to do Si?
0:36:01 > 0:36:03- Yes.- Oh, dear.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06- (AS SI):- I think, you know, you'd have to, like, get that tune.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08You know that tune. It's a very friendly voice.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12You, you can't do it and not be smiling, which is the beauty of it.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13That's the beauty of it.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16So, you know, get that tune and that movement there.
0:36:16 > 0:36:21- (IN OWN VOICE):- It's a wonderful accent for certain words, such as conjunctivitis.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22Conjunctivitis, aye!
0:36:24 > 0:36:25Profiteroles.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30I love the differences between accents.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34- (IN LANCASTRIAN):- You know, the Lancashire accent I always describe as like, you know,
0:36:34 > 0:36:37a cheese sandwich that's been left in the sun and the ends have curled up.
0:36:37 > 0:36:40Curled right up, like that, you know.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43- (IN YORKSHIRE ACCENT):- Whereas Yorkshire, it's like a dough that's not been cooked.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46It sort of like, you know, it sort of like curves downwards.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48- (IN GEORDIE ACCENT):- And, like, the North-eastern,
0:36:48 > 0:36:51the Geordie accent's sort of like the waves on a meringue.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53- You know, that.- Am I right or am I wrang?!
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Now, in this bowl, I have the zest of a lime.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00I'm going to grate another couple of cloves of garlic.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03And I'm going to add the juice of the lime.
0:37:05 > 0:37:06Now, this is for Mr Cauliflower.
0:37:08 > 0:37:09That was my school nickname for a few years.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- What, Mr Cauliflower? - Mr Cauliflower?
0:37:11 > 0:37:16Culshaw to cauliflower was a small leap for my colleagues in school.
0:37:18 > 0:37:19Did you do impressions at school?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Yes, the history teacher.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Also, also the physics teacher, Mr Dreier.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31If you don't pay attention, you'll never learn it.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33You won't learn it.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35- Ooh!- Actually, now, that sauce is just about there.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38You see, when we say it's reduced to a syrupy consistency,
0:37:38 > 0:37:41this certainly has. Back to the cauliflower.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43In here I've got the juice and zest of a lime
0:37:43 > 0:37:46with two grated cloves of garlic.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48And lastly, for this,
0:37:48 > 0:37:52about a tablespoon or so of either rapeseed oil or olive oil.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55Now, I've got some cashew nuts here that go in with the caulie,
0:37:55 > 0:37:57and they just need roughly chopping.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01We're in business. So this is the dressing for the cauliflower.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04The cauliflower's blanching and we've got the nuts.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Right, mate, that's them blanched.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08- Beautiful.- So I'll just strain this off.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Lovely.
0:38:14 > 0:38:18We want the cauliflower to be dry, or it simply won't roast.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23So we dry the cauliflower off,
0:38:24 > 0:38:28put it in a tea towel, and just keep it like that.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32I often think that cauliflower is like the best value veg in the world.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34- Oh, it's brilliant.- Yeah.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36When it's roasted, it's lovely and sweet.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39I don't think I've had roasted cauliflower before.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42- You're in for a treat!- Usually steamed, or...- You'd love it.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44It changes the caulie completely.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46With this, we've got the lime and everything with it.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49So, fascinated to find out what this is like.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52On to the caulie. Just scatter the cashews...
0:38:53 > 0:38:55..like so, and pour on...
0:38:56 > 0:39:00..the garlic, lime, and oil, and give that a good stir.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03And make sure that you get all of those,
0:39:03 > 0:39:05that wonderful sauce that Dave's made...
0:39:06 > 0:39:08..all the way through.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Now this needs to go into a hot oven,
0:39:10 > 0:39:12200 Celsius, for ten minutes.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15Then we pull it out, then we cover it with Parmesan cheese,
0:39:15 > 0:39:17then put it back for another ten minutes,
0:39:17 > 0:39:19so the cheese builds up with the nuts.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22It's epic. The caulie really is the star of the show.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31- Oh, yes.- It's time to colour up.
0:39:31 > 0:39:36- Lovely.- Now what we do now, we just grate Parmesan on the top.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42Cauliflower and cheese were born to be together, weren't they?
0:39:42 > 0:39:45- Absolutely.- Like Christmas snowflakes falling down.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Yes. It's like Santa's dandruff.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52- I think that's enough.- That sounds like a band that Jon Peel would have played.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57- From their world tour.- They'll be coming to a gig near you.
0:39:57 > 0:40:01- Yeah.- Back into the oven for another ten minutes.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03It's about time we got the salmon on as well, then.
0:40:03 > 0:40:04A bit of rapeseed oil, Kingy?
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Yeah, please, mate, yeah. Perfect.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10You know, I think whatever the circumstances, you know,
0:40:10 > 0:40:13feeding people at Christmas is such a good feeling, isn't it?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16- Yeah.- It's sharing the love and it's shared food, shared table.
0:40:16 > 0:40:17- Yes.- It's the best.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20- Nothing better.- Even if they are unexpected.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- Yeah, and slightly irritating. - Yes, but you never turn them away.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25- Never.- Never.- No.- No.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27And if they've got a mouthful, they can talk less,
0:40:27 > 0:40:29so that's good, as well, if they're a bit annoying!
0:40:29 > 0:40:31SI AND DAVE LAUGH
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Skin side down first, with the salmon fillets.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36We want crispy skin.
0:40:36 > 0:40:41So you need to make sure that the pan and the oil is hot.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46There we go.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55Bit of salt on the top. That'll also give it a lovely colour,
0:40:55 > 0:40:58but it'll also protect the flesh a little bit.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02Are there any chefs or TV chefs that you can do impressions of, Jon?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Keith Floyd must've been a gift.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Or was he hard?
0:41:06 > 0:41:08- (AS FLOYD):- That wonderful sort of depth.
0:41:08 > 0:41:10I've not really listened to him for a while.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12But I do remember, that this was the kind of vitality that
0:41:12 > 0:41:14he would speak with, and this wonderful kind of expertise.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Lovely gesticulations.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18And always ending with a slurp of wine.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21- I just...- That's uncanny. - It's just unbelievable.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23- That's uncanny.- Clever.- Yeah. - It's really clever.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25- Right, mate.- That's looking mighty fine.
0:41:25 > 0:41:26There we go.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28We've got to cook that flesh side down, now...
0:41:29 > 0:41:31..for a minute.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33It doesn't take long to cook, does it?
0:41:33 > 0:41:36- It doesn't.- Just keeping an eye when that colour goes through.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39- Yeah. I think we're there, Dave. - Right. Let's get the caulie.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Ooh, look at that.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47- Oh, beautiful.- You don't want to lose that crisp... The Parmesan
0:41:47 > 0:41:49has formed, like, crisps on the bottom.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51There we go.
0:41:53 > 0:41:54There we go.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59The sauce, really, it's more of a chutney,
0:41:59 > 0:42:01but it's so full of flavour.
0:42:03 > 0:42:05You can smell the ginger hit from here.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09Gorgeous.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13There you are, Jon.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Well, thank you very much.
0:42:15 > 0:42:16I feel spoiled.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Dig in.
0:42:22 > 0:42:23Oh, look at that.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29- Oh.- I want to get the full effect.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31- Oh.- Good?- Mmm.
0:42:33 > 0:42:34Mmm.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38Mmm.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40That is preposterously wonderful.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42DAVE AND SI LAUGH
0:42:42 > 0:42:46Orange and honey-glazed salmon with roast Parmesan cauliflower and
0:42:46 > 0:42:47cashew nuts.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50Don't be surprised if your guests come back for another visit.
0:42:51 > 0:42:56- Cheers, Jon.- Jon, a very...- Cheers. - ..Merry Christmas to you.- Merry Christmas to you.
0:42:56 > 0:43:00- Cheers.- Here's to you, cheers, thank you for having me.- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, guys.