0:00:05 > 0:00:07With mind-boggling medical mishaps...
0:00:07 > 0:00:10and the quirkiest of casualties...
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Boyfriend dropped a turnip on my foot.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17..this is Bizarre ER.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23And for the first time, we've camped out in not one but two British hospitals,
0:00:23 > 0:00:27Northampton General and Bradford Royal Infirmary...
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Hello.
0:00:29 > 0:00:34..to bring you the curious cases that are all in a day's work for the stoic staff...
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Can you see your pound coin there?
0:00:36 > 0:00:39..but which have to be seen to be believed.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43Plus, we've scoured the planet for the people who,
0:00:43 > 0:00:47thanks to amazing medics, have survived the most extraordinary accidents
0:00:47 > 0:00:49and emergencies known to man.
0:00:49 > 0:00:55Nobody believes they're going to get the Black Death.
0:00:55 > 0:01:03So scrub up, sit back and enjoy the sometimes silly, often odd, but never dull world of Bizarre ER.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- All I can say is thank heavens for the NHS.- Thank you.
0:01:11 > 0:01:17# Bringin' out the best in you. #
0:01:20 > 0:01:25Coming up - a Bradford granny's Tasered by her own toaster...
0:01:25 > 0:01:31I think what saved me was the fact that I had leather shoes on with rubber soles.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35..Bonfire Night ends early for the boy who ate his own sparkler.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Chewed it and swallowed it.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40..and the curious tale of how an artist survived
0:01:40 > 0:01:46being skewered by a two-metre metal rod, when she impaled herself on her own sculpture.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51When I went to introduce myself to Sophia, I said, "Hi, I'm Jules, I'm a... Whoa!"
0:01:55 > 0:02:00But first we're heading to Northampton General, which sees its fair share of sporting injuries.
0:02:00 > 0:02:07- But when it comes to freaky football foul-ups, our next case is in the Premier League.- It's hurting.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Dean Taylor's arrived in A & E with his right ankle at a right angle,
0:02:11 > 0:02:16after an awkward tackle just five minutes into a Sunday League cup match.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- I told the ambulance, "Just pop it back in and I'll carry on." - HE LAUGHS
0:02:20 > 0:02:27Luckily for Dean, the medics can ease his suffering, but with a very peculiar kind of pain relief.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30It's the medicine that will make you feel sleepy.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32As well as morphine, Dean's being given midazolam,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36which doesn't stop him feeling pain but helps him forget it.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40It sedates him to the point that he can't remember stuff,
0:02:40 > 0:02:42but he's still going to have a response to the pain
0:02:42 > 0:02:45of what we're doing, but he's just not going to remember it.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Dean's broken his tibia and fibula bones,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52but as well as bones, the break will affect nerves and blood vessels.
0:02:52 > 0:02:58If medics don't crank the ankle back into place quickly, Dean could lose his foot.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Here we go.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03DEAN YELLS Well done.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Well done, that's it. It's all done!
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- You did really well.- Well done, Dean, the worst bit's over now.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11You sure?
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- I'm sure.- Just putting a plaster on, then you'll be really comfortable.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Dean's best foot is once again forward, but bizarrely,
0:03:18 > 0:03:23- due to the drugs, he has no memory of the manoeuvre. - Have I been to sleep already?
0:03:23 > 0:03:25You have. It's all been done.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27All done.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- OK, I'll come and talk to you later. - OK.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Have I really been to sleep? - Yes, they done it before we got here.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Straightened your ankle up.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Well, I didn't know that.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45He might have a memory like a goldfish right now,
0:03:45 > 0:03:49but Dean still recognises mum Belinda by her soothing bedside manner(!)
0:03:49 > 0:03:53One way of getting out of work, isn't it, son?
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Having straightened Dean out, Dr Pearce now needs to see
0:03:58 > 0:04:01exactly what damage has been done to the tibia and fibula.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05His ankle is broken in two places across here and up here as well,
0:04:05 > 0:04:09and this is his tibia bone and the bone is broken across here.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13To fix these bones, it ought to have a plate on this bone and a screw on this bone
0:04:13 > 0:04:16to stop his ankle from moving whilst it heals.
0:04:16 > 0:04:21So our Sunday League star needs surgery, but he'll have to wait for
0:04:21 > 0:04:26- the swelling to subside before his ankle goes under the knife.- Bye.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30The family call full-time on today, and Dean gets some well-earned rest.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36The next day, the nasty fracture is still too swollen for surgery.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Whenever anything breaks, it swells up.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Your skin becomes like an over-ripe tomato.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44It's all right if you don't touch it,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47but if you do, it'll split open and then you can't sew it back again.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52With play delayed yet again, Dean settles in for another night on the ward.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53HE SIGHS
0:04:53 > 0:04:59A full five days into extra time, the leg still isn't match-fit.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Dean's initial cast has also become uncomfortable,
0:05:02 > 0:05:05so he's been wheeled off to be put into some new team colours.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09I desperately need a shower, and the nurses said they'll only give me one
0:05:09 > 0:05:12if I change the colour to pink, so that's what I'm going to do.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Excuse my fingers.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18They could have gone in worse places!
0:05:18 > 0:05:22After a few days on the ward, there's clearly nothing wrong with Dean's funny bone.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25PFFFRRRRT!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Oh, Dean, that is definitely a red-card offence!
0:05:30 > 0:05:34While Dean's so far been doing a good job of keepie-uppie with his spirits,
0:05:34 > 0:05:38the long wait for surgery is starting to dampen his mood.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41I'm very bored. Very bored.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43It's not just the boredom crippling Dean.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47The longer surgery's delayed, the greater the chance of complications,
0:05:47 > 0:05:50and Dean's worried what this injury means for his footballing future.
0:05:50 > 0:05:56He lives for his football, and for him not to actually play football...
0:05:56 > 0:05:57well, he might as well give up.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01Join us later in the show, when we'll find out if Dean makes it to surgery
0:06:01 > 0:06:09and discover if staff can ensure he'll once again be able to play for his beloved Kislingbury FC.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Next, we're heading to Bradford Royal Infirmary, where it's Bonfire Night.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23But the Wilson family have had to cut short their celebrations, after little Jacob
0:06:23 > 0:06:28turned his nose up at the usual treats and chose to chow down on a sparkler.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Chewed it and swallowed it.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33It wasn't lit, thankfully.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35We'd not managed to light them with the wind,
0:06:35 > 0:06:40so he was keeping hold of it so we could light it later.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Mummy!- But then he decided to eat it instead.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Although he's all smiles now, Jacob's bizarre bite to eat
0:06:46 > 0:06:52could cause serious complications, so he's rushed in to see Dr Bell.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- What time was that roughly, do you know?- I think it was about...
0:06:55 > 0:06:56just about eight.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Eight o'clock.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59And how's he been since then?
0:06:59 > 0:07:01He seems absolutely fine.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05He has said a couple of times that his tummy's hurting him.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09After picking over Jacob's potentially-lethal leftovers,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13Dr Bell needs to check that there are no abnormalities to his internal organs.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17The poor wee firecracker is clearly uncomfortable, and his tummy ache
0:07:17 > 0:07:20could be a symptom of something much more serious.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25So Jacob's sent up to the children's ward, where he'll be put under the care of Dr Singh Hunjan.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28One of the things we worry about with fireworks,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30or any kind of ingestion of fireworks,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33is there's a chemical called barium nitrate that's in them,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36and in very severe cases, it can affect your breathing
0:07:36 > 0:07:40and paralyse your muscles, and one other thing we worry about
0:07:40 > 0:07:43is it can bring your potassium level very low,
0:07:43 > 0:07:45and that can cause problems with the heart.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49It could take hours for problems to flare up, so while tonnes of
0:07:49 > 0:07:56the toxic barium nitrate safely go up in smoke outside, Jacob's kept in hospital overnight for observation.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00He's in safe hands, but Mum and Dad will have a nervous night ahead.
0:08:04 > 0:08:10The following morning, much to Mum's relief, Jacob's sparkler snack seems to be a bit of a damp squib.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14I think they came in every couple of hours, so they kept a good eye on him all night.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Dr Singh Hunjan pops in for a final check-up.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23Can I have a little feel of your tummy, and then do you want to go home? What do you reckon?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Can you tell me what you had for your breakfast today?
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- Toast. - Toast. Now shall I see if I can find this toast in here somewhere?
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Let me have a little feel. Ah, there might be a little bit of jam.
0:08:34 > 0:08:40- Feel the sparkler.- Shall I have a listen? I want to be able to hear that sparkler going off!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Oh, no, I think it's gone. I don't think it's there.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45That's really good, isn't it?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- He's fine. I think we should get you off. Is that OK? - That sounds like a good plan.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Right. We'll leave you guys to it. - Thanks very much.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55None the worse for his ordeal, Jacob heads home, where mum will be making sure
0:08:55 > 0:09:00that the only snap, crackle and pop he'll be munching on from now on will be at the breakfast table.
0:09:05 > 0:09:10Our next patient tonight has come to A & E after a quirky kitchen calamity.
0:09:10 > 0:09:16Gloria Declare's arrived stunned, but lucky to be alive, after she was electrocuted by her own toaster.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19I was very lucky. I think what was saved me
0:09:19 > 0:09:24was the fact that I have leather shoes on with rubber soles.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28Gloria had just got home from bingo and was feeling a little peckish.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30All the threes, pancakes for tea.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33She decided to pop some pancakes into the toaster,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36but events took a shocking turn when Gloria pressed the lever.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40A blue flash sparked and, faster than she could shout, "House,"
0:09:40 > 0:09:42she was thrown across the kitchen.
0:09:42 > 0:09:48Dazed but not fazed by the snack attack, Gloria had another go, with an unsurprisingly similar outcome.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52# Can I be electric too? #
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Staff's main concern is for Gloria's heart, which has been set racing
0:09:57 > 0:09:59by the treacherous toaster.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01If someone's had an adequately enough shock,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04then potentially, it can knock your heart
0:10:04 > 0:10:07into a what we call a ventricular fibrillation,
0:10:07 > 0:10:11which is like a load of worms in a bag, that, like, your heart's literally doing this.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Death can occur if it's not dealt with quick enough.
0:10:14 > 0:10:21- As if Gloria hadn't had enough of bread-related run-ins, Dr Baker pops up...- Hello.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23..and gets right to the heart of the matter.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27We've given you a good check over, and your heart tracing and ECG
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- that we did is normal, and so I think we can give you a clear bill of health, really, from this.- Right.
0:10:32 > 0:10:37But before he can discharge her, Dr Baker wants to check that Gloria hasn't fried her fingers.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- Got any burns on there at all?- No.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43- Or toasted her tootsies.- Fine.
0:10:43 > 0:10:48When electricity passes through the body, it can cause burns at the entry and exit points.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- I think we can let you go home. - With the all-clear,
0:10:51 > 0:10:57- Gloria can head home, but will those pancakes still be waiting for her? - Oh, I've eaten them.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00I had the sense to eat them.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- And dinner tonight? - Nothing toasted, that's for sure!
0:11:04 > 0:11:09No doubt she'll be heading home for a nice cup of cocoa to toast her good health.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18Time now to enter the Bizarre ER confessional.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23We've invited medics from across the land to share the funniest
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and freakiest things they've seen in A & E.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31These stories might sound far-fetched, but they're all 100% true.
0:11:41 > 0:11:47A gentleman attended who apparently had some delicate baubles on his Christmas tree, which had fallen off,
0:11:47 > 0:11:53and he didn't want these delicate baubles to get broken, so he thought it would be a good idea
0:11:53 > 0:11:59to put them on the mattress on his bed next to him, for safekeeping of course, as we all would.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Unfortunately, during the middle of the night he happened to roll over onto said baubles,
0:12:04 > 0:12:08which unfortunately somehow ended up lodged in his rectum.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11So we had him X-rayed and it was very festive, lots of baubles
0:12:11 > 0:12:15lodged in the rectum, which obviously had to be removed.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26It can happen to you even when you're off duty.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I was down a local pub watching a jazz band.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33They got a fella out of the audience, a sprightly 70-year-old, to join the band.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37He starts singing that fateful song, "I've Got A Whole Lot Of Living To Do."
0:12:37 > 0:12:42He does the first verse brilliantly, he starts the second verse, he drops dead.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45His head hits my table as he falls.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Couldn't find a better fella to fall dead in front of.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53Got up, gave him cardiopulmonary resuscitation, ambulance arrives, couple of shocks, heart started.
0:12:53 > 0:12:59He's had his coronary artery bypass grafting, his defibrillator's in, and believe it or not, he's back singing.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10We're back at Northampton General, where, along with
0:13:10 > 0:13:13the smell of disinfectant, there's romance in the air.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18But the course of true love has not run smoothly for poor Oriel Jackson.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21She's arrived at A & E after a romantic encounter
0:13:21 > 0:13:25ended not with a candlelit supper, but with a diced digit.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Started gushing out with big droplets of blood and went everywhere,
0:13:29 > 0:13:31all over the cream carpets.
0:13:32 > 0:13:38Oriel was at college, minding her own business, chomping chips, when she noticed she was being watched.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40What's your problem, then?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Smitten by the sight of Oriel eating chips,
0:13:42 > 0:13:44the love-struck stranger approached
0:13:44 > 0:13:47and asked her what her favourite flowers were.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- What's your favourite flowers? - Lilies.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54Just moments later, the mysterious stranger was back with a bunch of lilies.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Thanks, see ya later.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Overwhelmed by the romantic gesture, Oriel headed home to arrange her bouquet.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04Once there, she ended up taking a kitchen knife to her finger as well as the flowers.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Never one to overreact, Oriel screamed.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Ahhh, I'm dying!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Prompting her brother, who'd not quite grasped
0:14:11 > 0:14:15that this wasn't a real life-or-death emergency, to call for an ambulance.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19I'm dying! I'm dying!
0:14:20 > 0:14:24I sat there screaming "I'm dying" for about 20 minutes, half an hour maybe.
0:14:24 > 0:14:31If I do die, my hair's curly and my nails are done, so I should be all right.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36On hand to ensure that Oriel won't be dying in the cause of love is Nurse Maria Katlin...
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Let's have a look at your hand.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41..who gets a good look at Oriel's impressive talons.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42They're beautiful nails.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Thank you.- Are they yours?
0:14:45 > 0:14:46- No.- Oh, all right, then.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49..before inspecting the gash.
0:14:49 > 0:14:54Luckily, Oriel hasn't sliced to the bone, so she won't need surgery to fix the finger.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59- But there's still the risk of infection getting into the wound or the bloodstream.- It's really sore.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- So Nurse Maria first cleans out the cut with saline solution.- All right?
0:15:03 > 0:15:08- It shouldn't sting.- Before binding the wound using a Steri-strip.
0:15:08 > 0:15:13With no stitches, there's less chance of scarring and Oriel won't need to come back to A & E.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15I'm just going to press gently.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20Relieved to learn that her love wound isn't fatal, Oriel's mind moves onto more pressing matters.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- Can I get my nails done tomorrow? - Is that what you're worried about? - Yeah.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Just want to get my nails done.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Yes, you can get your nails done.
0:15:28 > 0:15:33Unsurprisingly, she took the bouquet blunder as a sign that her mystery admirer wasn't Mr Right.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Thank you.- You're very welcome.
0:15:35 > 0:15:41So while Oriel survived her trip to A & E, the fledgling romance was dead on arrival.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Let's hope it hasn't put Oriel off love for life.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Love is the most dangerous game to play.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Don't play with it. It's not funny.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Bizarre accidents aren't confined to Northampton.
0:15:56 > 0:16:03Across the UK, casualty departments are crammed with weird wounds and unusual ailments.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08Medics in Gloucestershire were confronted with a decidedly odd emergency
0:16:08 > 0:16:12when they went to the rescue of a woman who turned trauma into a fine art
0:16:12 > 0:16:15when she was skewered on her own sculpture.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16Squeamish viewers be warned -
0:16:16 > 0:16:20this story contains some gory images from the start.
0:16:23 > 0:16:28Most creators will suffer for their art, but none so much as Sophia Hughes,
0:16:28 > 0:16:32who fell and impaled herself on one of her very own creations.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Sophia has been making art for 30 years.
0:16:38 > 0:16:44She first started in pottery, but now makes large sculptures using steel, wood and glass.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48I'm just used to looking at things, and I want to express it.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52This day in her home studio started just like any other.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53I'd got the radio on.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- RADIO: - 'Welcome to Kent and to Sandringham, which was a medieval court.'
0:16:57 > 0:17:00It had just got onto Any Questions?
0:17:00 > 0:17:04I was up the ladder, which I'd been up hundreds of times before.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07But this day would end like no other before.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11At the foot of the ladder was a new sculpture called The Song of Experience.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16It was big, heavy and featured eight razor-sharp steel rods.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18'Marvellous...'
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I felt the ladder slide a bit from under me...
0:17:25 > 0:17:29...and then I tried to work out why my arm was stuck in the air.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34A knife-like steel rod plunged into her, skewering her from armpit to hand.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38The rod exited by her knuckles, extending an astonishing two feet
0:17:38 > 0:17:41past the end of her arm, leaving her like Wolverine.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45That's when I started taking deep breaths.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48This was very, very serious.
0:17:48 > 0:17:54Strangely, three days earlier, while meditating, Sophia had had an odd premonition.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57I became aware that something absolutely life-changing was coming.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I was very scared.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03The huge metal rod impaled in her arm was very much a reality.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07It was also still attached to the massive sculpture.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08She lay helpless, trapped.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Sophia contemplated sliding her arm off the pole.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17The pain would have had me pass out before I'd got even
0:18:17 > 0:18:20a quarter of the way there, so I knew that wasn't possible.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Shouting for help would have been a precious waste of energy.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27- Sophia had only one choice. - I've got to cut it.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29But what with?
0:18:29 > 0:18:35With pain searing through her arm, she reached for a file.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38I realised I was getting nowhere.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Not giving up, Sophia was able to use a spirit level
0:18:41 > 0:18:45to try and reach her bolt cutters, but even they proved futile.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49- I couldn't do it. - Things were getting desperate.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Her mind would have to be stronger than steel.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56In the distance, a very small-looking saw lay on the ground.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Sophia's last hope.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Gritting her teeth, she began to cut...
0:19:00 > 0:19:04'I think it's about time we had another prime minister.'
0:19:04 > 0:19:07..each movement of the blade excruciating.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09'This needs change...
0:19:09 > 0:19:10'fundamental change.'
0:19:10 > 0:19:14There were very, very fine metal shards, like a dusting
0:19:14 > 0:19:17of metal powder, and so I knew I was getting somewhere.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20'The tragedy is...'
0:19:20 > 0:19:23A desperate Sophia tried to break the rod.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27It did absolutely nothing, and that was awful.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30'Freelance contractor.'
0:19:30 > 0:19:35It had been an agonising 50 minutes since the fall.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Finally, she managed to cut through the rod.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42it was such a quiet moment.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46I just suddenly discovered I was free.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49And then I realised that they'd moved on to Any Answers?
0:19:49 > 0:19:53'Time now on Radio 4 for Any Answers? Your chance to phone...'
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- Sophia began the small but painful journey to the phone. - Out came this whisper.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Ambulance!
0:20:00 > 0:20:04Suddenly, I was really seriously in danger of passing out.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10A rapid-response vehicle arrived in minutes.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I went to introduce myself to Sophia.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14I said "Hi, I'm Jules, I'm a... Whoa!"
0:20:14 > 0:20:20It's amazing, it had actually missed a lot of the arteries and major blood vessels.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25Potentially could have lost quite a lot of blood and gone into shock.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27It can be very damaging. You can die from it.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Now the difficult task was how to get Sophia to hospital.
0:20:31 > 0:20:36We decided to go in on blue lights, but very, very carefully and very, very steadily.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38We walked into hospital with her arm up like this.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Everybody was looking where she was pointing!
0:20:43 > 0:20:48In hospital, Sophia had some very unusual visitors.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Five firefighters and myself around near the bed.
0:20:52 > 0:20:59- And they'd come to cut the other end off, the end that stuck out. - The hacksaw was the tool of choice.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04Poor guy cutting was being teased, especially when the saw got stuck.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08At one stage, she gave us some helpful hints.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14With the sharp edges gone, thanks to the fire department, it was safe for doctors
0:21:14 > 0:21:17to figure out just how to get the metal rod out of Sophia's arm.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21We were wondering a little whether it might be able to slide out
0:21:21 > 0:21:22the way it had come in,
0:21:22 > 0:21:25but it was readily apparent it wasn't going to do that.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29The solution was simple, but squeamish viewers be warned...
0:21:29 > 0:21:31it wasn't pretty.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35Doctors opened the limb, slicing down the entire length of the arm.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38We cut from the entry point, all the way down.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Just basically followed the rod.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43The main thing we were concerned about was infection.
0:21:43 > 0:21:50It was not just a rod, but it had been wrapped with copper wire that had been purposely corroded by her.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54After the rod was removed, the wound was left open for two-and-a-half days
0:21:54 > 0:21:58so doctors could be sure there was no infection.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01It took 66 stitches to put Sophia's arm back together.
0:22:01 > 0:22:08Amazingly, the rod had missed all her tendons, and Sophia still has full use of her arm and hand.
0:22:10 > 0:22:16Five inches to the left, and I'd have impaled the whole of myself and I'd have died.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20I feel as though this is the beginning of rethinking the way I live
0:22:20 > 0:22:22and I'm enjoying it. It's great.
0:22:27 > 0:22:32The art world may seem refined, but easels can be evil,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35and even chisels can land you in the shizzle.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Poisonous palettes are one of the main problems, and Danish specialists
0:22:39 > 0:22:45have identified a neurological condition brought on by long-term exposure to paint solvents...
0:22:49 > 0:22:53It's thought that, down the ages, lead and other toxins in paint
0:22:53 > 0:22:55are behind the famed artistic temperament,
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- causing depression... - What's your problem?
0:22:58 > 0:23:02..irritability and odd behaviour in the likes of Van Gogh and Michelangelo.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I'll have your ear off next time!
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Even if paint doesn't pain you,
0:23:05 > 0:23:10there are plenty of other bizarre ways to make suffering a fine art.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13British artist Mark McGowan cut short his attempt to remain
0:23:13 > 0:23:16buried up to his neck on Margate beach for 48 hours
0:23:16 > 0:23:20after seagulls started to dive-bomb at his head.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26And Belgrade-born performance artist Marina Abramovic nearly went down in flames
0:23:26 > 0:23:30after leaping into the centre of a giant burning wooden star
0:23:30 > 0:23:32from which fire had sucked all the oxygen.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Collectors should note the value of her work didn't increase overnight,
0:23:36 > 0:23:39as the stunt fortunately proved far from fatal.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Gallery-goers, as well as artists, risk life and limb,
0:23:42 > 0:23:44such as the British tourists who,
0:23:44 > 0:23:49while taking in the culture at a French chateau in Moulidars,
0:23:49 > 0:23:51was savaged by a swarm of bees.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Or the casualties of Carsten Holler's Test Site.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57This infamous installation of steel slides at Tate Modern
0:23:57 > 0:24:00left three people with injured fingers
0:24:00 > 0:24:03and one with a broken wrist.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Art. It's an ugly business.
0:24:08 > 0:24:15Earlier in the show, we met Dean Taylor, who arrived at Northampton General A & E with a wonky ankle,
0:24:15 > 0:24:18after spectacularly bending it like Beckham.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20HE YELLS
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Dean's faced an agonising wait
0:24:22 > 0:24:26for the swelling to subside so that surgeons could fix his fractures.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31Incredibly, it's now been ten days, and Dean still hasn't had surgery.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34He's hoping today will be his lucky day.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37OK, so the swelling's gone down enough that we can do the operation.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41- You shall go to the ball. You can go home.- Yeah, that's fine.- Good!
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Be glad to get this out the way, won't you?
0:24:44 > 0:24:49With Dean under general anaesthetic, Mr Stock and his team are ready for kick-off.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51OK.
0:24:51 > 0:24:56Squeamish viewers who don't want to know the results of tonight's match should look away now.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59MUSIC: Theme from Match Of The Day
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Mr Stock begins by opening up the leg, revealing Dean's broken bones.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Hopefully it should fit together a bit like a jigsaw puzzle.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Dean's breaks are so serious, a series of screws and plates
0:25:10 > 0:25:14are needed to help his ankle knit back together.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18So this is just sterile carpentry really, with respect to Dean.
0:25:18 > 0:25:24This is a screw going in, grips the far side, and as it engages,
0:25:24 > 0:25:29it pulls them together. So I should be able to take this off and it'll hold it.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32More screws are brought on to stabilise the tibia,
0:25:32 > 0:25:38and a plate is then added to the fibula to beef up the defence.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42As well as bones, Dean's also damaged a ligament,
0:25:42 > 0:25:45and to compensate for that he'll need a different bit of kit.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48You need the bones to heal together to move properly.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51At the moment, they're damaged, so they're moving too much,
0:25:51 > 0:25:56so we use this thing called a tightrope, which is a strong, wire-like structure.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58The tightrope wire is threaded through the two bones.
0:25:58 > 0:26:03Toggles at each end anchor it firmly in place once it's tied off by the surgeon.
0:26:03 > 0:26:09And there you are. Beforehand, when I pulled, it moved up in here.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11It's not moving now.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12It's bizarre.
0:26:15 > 0:26:21With the final whistle not far off, Mr Stock moves into the closing stages of Dean's op.
0:26:21 > 0:26:26So all we've got to do now is to close over the skin, and you can see it's relatively tight now.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29If we'd tried if when it was very swollen in the early days,
0:26:29 > 0:26:36- we wouldn't have got it back together again.- And with the would sewn up, it's full-time.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38We'll check his wounds tomorrow. All being well,
0:26:38 > 0:26:42put him into a full plaster and he'll be home in a few days' time.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45He's a young, fit man, so he'll be all right on crutches.
0:26:45 > 0:26:50Back up on the ward, Mum's ready and waiting for some post-match analysis.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53Just come to see Dean. Very groggy, very grumpy, I'd say.
0:26:53 > 0:26:59I think he really wants a good night's sleep, so hopefully today's morphine will do the job for him.
0:26:59 > 0:27:05As Dean gets back in the game, there's just one thing on his mind...tonight's Man United match.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09If I'm not awake at 7.45 tonight I will not be happy.
0:27:09 > 0:27:12SHE LAUGHS
0:27:12 > 0:27:15For us, as a family, it's such a relief.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20Hopefully, by the end of the year, he'll be back playing football.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25It'll be around six months before Dean's back on the road to Sunday League glory.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28For now, his family are just glad that he's coming home.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31# It's coming home, it's coming... #
0:27:34 > 0:27:38As Dean's story comes to a close, so does this series.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41Dean's the last in a long line of casualties
0:27:41 > 0:27:45who've been patched up and put back together by the staff at our two hospitals.
0:27:45 > 0:27:50So while we're away, remember - however bizarre your blunder,
0:27:50 > 0:27:53- whatever the time of day... - Whoa, OK.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57..the doctors and nurses of Britain will be there to make it all better.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Thanks very much, everybody. See you later!
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:07 > 0:28:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk