0:00:05 > 0:00:07With mind-boggling medical mishaps...
0:00:07 > 0:00:10- Ow.- ..and the quirkiest of casualties...
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Me boyfriend dropped a turnip on me foot.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16..this is Bizarre ER.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23And for the first time we've camped out in not one but two British hospitals -
0:00:23 > 0:00:27Northampton General and Bradford Royal Infirmary...
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Hello!
0:00:29 > 0:00:34..to bring you the curious cases that are all in a day's work for the stoic staff...
0:00:34 > 0:00:35Can you see your pound coin there?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38..but which have to be seen to be believed.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40GRUNTS OF PAIN
0:00:40 > 0:00:46Plus, we've scoured the planet for the people who, thanks to amazing medics, have survived
0:00:46 > 0:00:49the most extraordinary accidents and emergencies known to man.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Nobody believes they're going to get the Black Death.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59So scrub up, sit back and enjoy the sometimes silly,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03often odd, but never dull world of Bizarre ER.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- All I can say is, thank heavens for the NHS.- Thank you.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Coming up - staff reel in a curious catch of the day...
0:01:28 > 0:01:31..an eye-opening injury for one unlucky lady...
0:01:31 > 0:01:34This is just so bizarre, really.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38..and the astonishing story of how a New Zealander narrowly escaped death
0:01:38 > 0:01:42after being crushed by a leaping half-ton dolphin.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45If I didn't do the right thing, she would die.
0:01:50 > 0:01:55But first we're heading to Bradford Royal Infirmary, where it's 5th November,
0:01:55 > 0:02:00although our next cute casualty isn't here with a bonfire-related bump or burn.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Little Aaron's here because he's dropped a coin down his cakehole.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10Aaron was at home happily licking the dirt off a pound coin - we know not why.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15He was sat on the couch cleaning it in his mouth for some reason.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18And a firework went off and the pound went belooomp!
0:02:20 > 0:02:24It's down to Doctor Shabir to get to the bottom of this one.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- Right, what's happened? - Swallowed a pound coin.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- Swallowed a pound coin?- Yeah.- OK - what time did you swallow this coin? - About five to seven.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Any tummy pain?- He keeps saying he's got tummy ache now.- Right, OK.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39The first thing the doctor checks is his chest.
0:02:39 > 0:02:43He's listening for any loose change rattling about in his lungs...
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Take a deep breath. And out.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50..which could restrict breathing and potentially put Aaron's life at risk.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54If it goes down into the airways, then he could potentially choke as well.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58But in this case basically he had no respiratory distress.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Excellent, just lie back down for me.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02- Does that hurt?- Yeah.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06It's looking clear on the lungs, but Aaron's obviously in some pain.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Is it hurting around here?- Yeah.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- Here?- Yeah.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14What we'll do, we'll get an X-ray done - his chest and his tummy as well - to see where the coin is.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19We've got to make sure it's not in the neck area or in the chest or it's not gone down his airway.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Very unlikely, because he's breathing OK,
0:03:22 > 0:03:26but we are going to get a chest X-ray done and a tummy X-ray, just to find out basically where the coin is.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Aaron!
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Come on, young man - are you coming in, Mummy?- Yep.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Now then - what we looking for?
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- A pound.- Whose pound?
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Mine.
0:03:41 > 0:03:47Radiologist Sandra Wood is in charge of the NHS's state-of-the-art metal detector.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48This is my camera, look.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52It's just got a nice bright light and this is going to shine through
0:03:52 > 0:03:55this skin of yours so I can find that pound coin.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- If I find it, can I spend it?- No!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59No?! Are you sure about that?
0:03:59 > 0:04:04I'm going to give you a shout in a minute to take in a nice big breath,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07like you're going to blow your birthday candles out, OK?
0:04:07 > 0:04:12- Yeah.- And then when you hear my magic beep, it's finished.
0:04:13 > 0:04:14Yey, finished!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Which one of us spots the pound?
0:04:18 > 0:04:22- Me first, it's mine. Right?
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Sandra's spotted it, but she might have a bit of a wait before she can claim her prize.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30He'll definitely have to poo that one out!
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Can you see it, Aaron?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34It's there, look.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39And it's gone in through here, all the way down here into your tummy
0:04:39 > 0:04:43and now it's going round here like this to work its way out.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45So what you need to take home...
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- No, no! We're just going to flush it down the toilet!- ..are these!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50To find it when it comes out!
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Mum won't be looking for it!
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- You have to put them on so you can find your pound!- There you go, you'll have to find it!
0:04:57 > 0:05:01The Chapmans head off to enjoy the last of the fireworks,
0:05:01 > 0:05:05but it'll be one or two days before their mini slot machine pays out.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12When it comes to medical mishaps and misery,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15money truly is the root of all evil.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17The annual rate of A&E admissions caused by coinage
0:05:17 > 0:05:19is a staggering 12,000.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24The vast majority of these involve children -
0:05:24 > 0:05:26mostly because most of the infant investors
0:05:26 > 0:05:30attempt to make a deposit in their belly rather than the bank.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33A paltry penny can cause damage to the oesophagus, the stomach
0:05:33 > 0:05:38and the intestine, and that's if the poor wee mite hasn't choked.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Even if you're not snacking on shrapnel, filthy lucre can still be a menace.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46The flu virus survives so well on banknotes
0:05:46 > 0:05:51that experts think dirty cash could help spread the next pandemic.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53And a 2001 study found that
0:05:53 > 0:05:57over 90% of the notes they tested carried bacteria,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00with just under 10% home to more dangerous germs
0:06:00 > 0:06:05like Staphylococcus aureus and Klebsiella pneumoniae,
0:06:05 > 0:06:09which can cause severe food poisoning and pneumonia.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Lusting after lolly can also come at a heavy price.
0:06:12 > 0:06:19A frenzied dash for cash ensued when a Czech radio station announced a random 5,000 giveaway.
0:06:19 > 0:06:2626 men, women and children caught up in the scramble ended up worse off by having to be hospitalised.
0:06:26 > 0:06:32And, while being short-changed can be maddening, it's sometimes best to let the loose change go.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35There are at least 50 known cases of men being crushed
0:06:35 > 0:06:39while trying to tip vending machines that have withheld their wonga -
0:06:39 > 0:06:41three of whom died.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Remember, you can't take it with you when you go.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Our next patient has come to Bradford Royal Infirmary A&E
0:06:52 > 0:06:57hopping mad after a bizarre culinary calamity.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Me boyfriend dropped a turnip on me foot.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03And there we were thinking veg was meant to be good for you!
0:07:03 > 0:07:08He'd been shopping, he were putting it into t'fridge and he dropped it like from six foot high.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12Could have a broken foot off of a vegetable.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I've never known that.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22The treacherous turnip has left Chelsea nursing a very tender trotter,
0:07:22 > 0:07:27and it's the job of Dr David Robinson to get to the root of her problem.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Whereabouts is your foot hurting? - Like, round...all round this area.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36I'm going to examine your foot now and I just want you to tell me if it's sore where I'm pressing, OK?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Ow!- Sorry. Is it sore on this side?
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- Yeah.- Yep. Can you wiggle your toes for me?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44So that hurts doing that, yeah?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- And do you feel me touching your toes here?- Yeah.
0:07:46 > 0:07:52Being hobbled by a 2lb turnip dropped from a 6ft bloke might not sound so serious -
0:07:52 > 0:07:58but the vicious veggie could have fractured Chelsea's foot or damaged her tendons.
0:07:58 > 0:08:03So she's sent to X-ray so the doctors can assess the damage.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05What do the X-rays turn up?
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Your X-ray looks fine. So you haven't broken anything,
0:08:08 > 0:08:11but you've got bruising and tenderness to the top of your foot.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13This might swell up a bit.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Try and elevate your foot, so get it up.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18If you're getting lots of swelling, put some ice on this.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Frozen peas are good. Not fresh vegetables, obviously. OK?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23I'm buying already diced from now on!
0:08:24 > 0:08:30As Chelsea hobbles home, she can take comfort in the fact that by following up a whole turnip
0:08:30 > 0:08:36with a serving of frozen peas, at least her feet are getting two of her five-a-day.
0:08:43 > 0:08:49Next, we're heading to Northampton General, where staff see their fair share of rugged sporting injuries.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53But it's the gentle art of fishing that's brought our next patient to A&E.
0:08:53 > 0:08:57Avid angler Barry Jones is the kind of chap who wouldn't hurt a fly.
0:08:57 > 0:09:04In this case it's a fly that's hurt him - a fly-fishing hook, to be precise, which has barbed his beak.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Been in a fishing competition today and had a slight accident.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11My friend Stuart, as he's casting his line, has caught the hook in my nose.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15I've never fished with Stuart before - shan't fish with him again.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Never again, obviously!
0:09:16 > 0:09:22Barry and Stuart spent the afternoon competing in their club's annual fly-fishing contest.
0:09:22 > 0:09:28With seven fish already in the bag, Barry was having a whale of a time, when disaster struck.
0:09:28 > 0:09:34A freak gust of wind caught Stuart's fly and sent the hook straight up Barry's hooter.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38Rather than rushing to A&E, gutsy Barry got Stuart to cut the line so
0:09:38 > 0:09:45he could spend an extra hour on the water knowing that all he needed was one more fish to clinch top prize.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49This dirty left hook is straight out of the lake, so there's a danger that
0:09:49 > 0:09:55the wound could go septic or cause blood poisoning, which could even mean losing the end of the nose.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59So it's vital the hook is removed cleanly and quickly.
0:09:59 > 0:10:05Hoping to unhook our unfortunate angler is emergency nurse practitioner Graham Seaton.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07I just hope he's got a steady hand.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10First up, Graham offers local anaesthetic,
0:10:10 > 0:10:14but the prospect of another piercing proves too much for Barry.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Not too keen on injections.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Do you want us to do it without the anaesthetic?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22You can try, yes, without the anaesthetic, if you like, yeah.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25And it seems Barry is a very hands-on patient
0:10:25 > 0:10:28who's got his own ideas about how to tackle the problem.
0:10:28 > 0:10:34You've got to take all the dressing off there, then snip that off, so that's the widest part.
0:10:34 > 0:10:40And then push that in, and that will come out straight through like that.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Yes. If at any point you want me to stop, obviously say, and we'll, erm...
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- Numb me up.- Numb it, yeah.
0:10:46 > 0:10:52As Graham and nurse Gail Hare get ready to begin, Barry's angling for a chance to get involved.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- I need...- Do you want me to hold the hook steady
0:10:56 > 0:10:59while you take the dressing off with the scalpel?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Can I slip your hat off?
0:11:01 > 0:11:07And before they know it, he's taking his treatment into his own hands.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11Hang on, Barry - that's your snout, not a trout.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13See, that's slowly coming off now, see it?
0:11:15 > 0:11:19For club-mate Stuart, Barry's active approach is all too familiar.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21When he's fishing, he's like a meerkat -
0:11:21 > 0:11:25he stands up in the boat and his head's spinning from side to side.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29Barry's a bit of an expert, really, so he's always showing me the error of my ways.
0:11:29 > 0:11:35If you have a pair of pliers there, or something to hold it there, you can do it.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- Hard for me to do, you see.- OK.
0:11:38 > 0:11:43The fluffy fake fly on the end of the hook isn't budging,
0:11:43 > 0:11:46so Graham has no option but to give it the snip.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54But just as they're making progress, Barry's up again and sticking his nose in.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02If you come straight through the nose now, it should come out.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- Can you see it starting to pierce the skin?- Yeah.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Pulling the trapped tackle could rip the nose wide open -
0:12:09 > 0:12:14the only way forward is to use the hook to pierce the nostril and push it out the other side.
0:12:14 > 0:12:19It's an eye-watering experience for brave Barry, who's still had no anaesthetic.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Very good, thank you.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I'll give that back to Stuart.
0:12:32 > 0:12:38It was a rather unusual that the patient wanted to assist so much as he did!
0:12:38 > 0:12:44It's his nose, it's his hook and his decision - so I thought, well, yeah, why not?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- It's all right now.- Is it sore?
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Yeah. It's fine. - Have they got my hook back?
0:12:50 > 0:12:54They had to throw that away, but it's about time we went to the pub, don't you?
0:12:54 > 0:12:55You're right.
0:12:56 > 0:13:03Barry's off the hook, and the pair head out of A&E relieved and ready for a well-earned pint.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06# You've gone fishing... #
0:13:06 > 0:13:10A few days later, Barry and Stuart are back in the boozer with their fishermen friends.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12But how's the hooter?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15As the swelling's gone down, it's back to normal, no problem.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18So, all's well that ends well.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23So, did Barry manage to net this year's top prize?
0:13:23 > 0:13:24This is the trophy.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26This is what it was all about.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30I wasn't overall winner. I was overall winner last year, but joint winner this year.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33I still think he should have won by a nose, though.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36# Oh, yeah! #
0:13:45 > 0:13:51We're back to Bradford Royal Infirmary, where an eye-watering case has come into A&E.
0:13:52 > 0:13:58Ramona Zukirsky's been rushed in looking a vision after she ripped her right eyelid in half.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- How many fingers can you see? - I can see three, but it's blurred.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03That's fine.
0:14:04 > 0:14:10- Retail assistant Ramona was rushing around at work preparing for a big sale.- Do you have these in an eight?
0:14:10 > 0:14:14With tons of trendy togs to pack, stack and rack, Ramona was adjusting
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- the height of the rails to perfect her display.- Perfect display.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22Forgetting her newly-positioned waist-high rail, Ramona bent down to pick up some clothes
0:14:22 > 0:14:27and smashed eye first into the end of the protruding bar.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Do you have this in red?
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Ugh!
0:14:33 > 0:14:36I was in a bit of a shock, and when you say you see stars in front of
0:14:36 > 0:14:40your eyes, it's true, you do - I saw stars. I just thought, "Am I going to see again?"
0:14:40 > 0:14:45That's all I was concerned about - this is just so bizarre, really.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Seeing to Ramona's lacerated lid is Dr Sahid Hussain.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53Can you look down?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I'm just going to pull your eyelid up -
0:14:56 > 0:14:57does it hurt when I pull?
0:14:57 > 0:15:01- Not really, no.- Yeah. Look straight to my finger.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04So it needs to be repaired, because they are not in one piece.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06It is hanging like this.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11If the eyelid's damaged, there's a chance the eye is, too.
0:15:11 > 0:15:18Dr Hussain is concerned the rail may have scratched the surface causing what's known as a corneal abrasion.
0:15:18 > 0:15:24If these aren't treated properly, infection can set in, causing ulcers and in the worst cases, blindness.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29I don't want to look at it! I'm a bit scared now, actually.
0:15:29 > 0:15:37Before he can peer into her peeper, Dr Hussain has to put in a couple of drops - first to numb the eye
0:15:37 > 0:15:38and then to colour it yellow.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45Using a blue light he can check the damage, which will show up in green.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Look straight.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51The cornea's clear - well, it's a bit yellow, but that doesn't mean that there isn't
0:15:51 > 0:15:58deeper damage to the lens or retina, so Dr Hussain goes old school to check Ramona can see properly.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Can you read this line?
0:15:59 > 0:16:04- Not really - I can see the Y... - Yeah.- Is it U?
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Worryingly, the chart's all a bit of a blur for Ramona,
0:16:08 > 0:16:12so she's rushed to eye casualty where specialist Dr Aberdine can have a closer look.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15OK, look up to the top of your head for me.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20Using a slick microscope, Dr Aberdine's piercing gaze goes right to the back of Ramona's eye.
0:16:20 > 0:16:25Is Ramona looking at long-term problems with her eyesight?
0:16:26 > 0:16:30You can get a whole spectrum of injuries within the eye,
0:16:30 > 0:16:34with such blunt trauma, so she has got off lightly, really.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38So, it's good news, but her busted blinker still needs sewing up.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40For now it's time to get some shut-eye.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44But we'll see how Ramona fares in surgery later in the show.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Bizarre cases aren't confined to Britain,
0:16:51 > 0:16:56and in this series we've scoured the globe to bring you the world's most extraordinary emergencies.
0:16:58 > 0:17:04Down under, in a cruel and curious twist of fate, one kiwi dolphin fanatic was almost
0:17:04 > 0:17:10killed by the sweet-squeaking sea mammal she loves the most when she was flattened by Flipper.
0:17:14 > 0:17:20Welcome to New Zealand - home to Hobbits, a few million sheep and dolphin-lover Kelly Lawson.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23I've loved dolphins all my life.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Kelly loves dolphins so much she even has a tattoo of one.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Given how much Kelly loves these supposedly adorable creatures,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33the last thing she expected is that one of them would turn evil
0:17:33 > 0:17:37and almost crush her to death.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41In 2006, Kelly and long-term boyfriend Dion were having the perfect kiwi Christmas.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Fabulous weather and awesome location. Time of our lives, pretty much.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Kelly and friends decided to do a spot of fishing.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53They jumped into their boats and things got better
0:17:53 > 0:17:58when a pod of dolphins showed up and put on an amazing acrobatic display.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Kelly thought all of her Christmases had come at once.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04The show that they were putting on was spectacular, and that to top off
0:18:04 > 0:18:08the awesome day that we'd had already was
0:18:08 > 0:18:10pretty incredible.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13But Kelly's heavenly day was about to descend into hell when
0:18:13 > 0:18:19a massive dolphin weighing 300 kilos leapt into the air and came crashing down on its number-one fan.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22That's the same weight as a piano smashing down onto her chest.
0:18:22 > 0:18:28Kelly's ribs shattered into pieces, her internal organs flattened like a pancake and her lungs popped.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32Apparently I looked up and screamed, which pretty much saved my life.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Because if I was sitting in the position I remember,
0:18:35 > 0:18:40the dolphin would have landed on my back, which would have snapped my neck and killed me instantly.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45Bizarrely, the dolphin had landed right on her tattoo, leaving a devastating aftermath.
0:18:45 > 0:18:50Flipper flopped back into the water without a care, leaving a crushed Kelly fighting for her life.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54The accident was so bizarre, rescue crews thought it was a prank -
0:18:54 > 0:18:58it wasn't until the fourth call came through that they sent a helicopter.
0:18:58 > 0:18:59It was the weirdest thing
0:18:59 > 0:19:03you could ever imagine. An aquatic mammal landing on top of a human -
0:19:03 > 0:19:05it's just never happened before.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10Contemplating the consequences of that, you'd think, "Boy, she could be really sick."
0:19:10 > 0:19:14She was. Kelly's lungs had collapsed, and air was escaping from them.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19She had bruising to her brain, a torn and bleeding liver, fractured vertebrae and a broken pelvis.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24This all adds up to a very, very bad situation.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27It's hard to describe how you feel in a situation like that.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29It's just basically, you're just shocked.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34The helicopter arrived, and paramedic Chris Deacon was first on the scene.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Kelly was close to death.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40Kelly was very pale, she was unconscious...
0:19:40 > 0:19:45Air from Kelly's lungs was leaking into her chest cavity, which is potentially fatal.
0:19:45 > 0:19:52A lot of air trapped underneath the skin, sort of in the subcutaneous layer, feels like Rice Bubbles.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56That's Rice Krispies to those who don't speak kiwi.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01The escaping air put pressure on Kelly's lungs, making breathing even more difficult.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05If I didn't do the right thing, she would die.
0:20:05 > 0:20:10She needed an urgent decompression of her chest, which is done with a very big needle.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Oh, mate, that is humongus.
0:20:12 > 0:20:18The steel goes down into the chest, and the air can escape out.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22We can do more damage than good if it's in the wrong place.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26A chest decompression is usually used as a last resort.
0:20:26 > 0:20:32For me, it was either...this working or Kelly not being alive.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Due to Kelly being blown up like a puffer fish...
0:20:37 > 0:20:42..I couldn't see any of her anatomical landmarks, so I measured off myself.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45So, using his own body as a reference, Chris attempted to plunge
0:20:45 > 0:20:48the needle into Kelly - which proved difficult.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51A lot of the ribs were broken. As I was trying to push the needle in,
0:20:51 > 0:20:55the chest just kept moving away from me - it was just collapsing away.
0:20:55 > 0:21:01Finally Chris got the needles into Kelly's chest, who thankfully began to breathe again, but only just.
0:21:04 > 0:21:10Kelly needed specialist care to properly repair her lungs and she was rushed to Auckland Hospital.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14She was critically ill, she was gasping for breath, she was blue,
0:21:14 > 0:21:18she was cold and she was quite close to death at that point.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Doctors needed to see what damage the dolphin had caused internally.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Kelly was rushed for X-rays and scans.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Extensive bruising to her lungs,
0:21:27 > 0:21:31it showed widespread rib fractures on both sides.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35It showed collections of air in the lung cavity.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39That made the first actions relatively clear-cut, in that we needed to put a tube in
0:21:39 > 0:21:44to support her breathing and we needed to put two drains into
0:21:44 > 0:21:46her chest to allow the lungs to re-expand.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51When Kelly came to, there was only one thing she wanted to know.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Was the dolphin OK? Which is pretty typical of an animal lover.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59With the important questions answered, Kelly's treatment began.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Most of our intensive care patients are out of the ICU
0:22:04 > 0:22:06within a day or two,
0:22:06 > 0:22:09but Kelly was there for over ten days on a ventilator.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12And that was because it took that long for her lungs to heal.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Under expert one-to-one care, Kelly's broken ribs and pelvis
0:22:15 > 0:22:19slowly grew scar tissue, which over time turns into rigid bone,
0:22:19 > 0:22:23and her liver and lungs healed like a cut on the skin scabbing over.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25I had no idea how sick I was.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I had fought for my life, I had no comprehension of that whatsoever.
0:22:28 > 0:22:33After six weeks in hospital, the hard work for Kelly really began.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36With the help of a physio, Kelly strengthened her muscles and joints.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39When something like this happens in your life with someone that you
0:22:39 > 0:22:42care about, love, you find out what's important.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Kelly and Dion decided to tie the knot, but even
0:22:46 > 0:22:48on her big day, Kelly couldn't shake off her love of
0:22:48 > 0:22:54dolphins, and a frozen Flipper took pride of place at the wedding.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58And in spite of her gruelling internal injuries, Kelly now leads a happy and
0:22:58 > 0:23:05normal life, which only got better in February 2010 with the birth of the couple's daughter, Alissa.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14Time now to enter the Bizarre ER confessional.
0:23:14 > 0:23:19We've invited medics from across the land to share the funniest
0:23:19 > 0:23:22and freakiest things they've seen in A&E.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27These stories might sound far-fetched, but they're all 100% true.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41I remember one evening a man was brought into A&E clutching his chest
0:23:41 > 0:23:44accompanied by a petite oriental lady.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I asked him if his companion was his wife.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49"Oh, no," he explained, "she's 100 miles away."
0:23:49 > 0:23:54Turns out he was down on conference and he'd met his companion only earlier on that evening.
0:23:54 > 0:24:01I explained to him gently that it's not unusual for guilt-laden sex to trigger off a heart attack.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06He blushed deeply and explained that things hadn't got quite that far.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09It turns out that the female he picked up in the bar was actually
0:24:09 > 0:24:13a he-male and what had triggered the angina was not sexual activity,
0:24:13 > 0:24:18but shock when he discovered the contents of the small sequinned cocktail dress.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28I was asked to examine a lady who was suffering from constipation.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32This lady was pretty big, and so in order to examine her properly
0:24:32 > 0:24:34I needed some assistance from two nurses.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38These two nurses got the lady, they rolled her over as I was going
0:24:38 > 0:24:43to try and examine her bottom to see if there was a problem of outflow obstruction.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47As I put my finger into the back, I must have dislodged something,
0:24:47 > 0:24:51and a large amount of poo just squelched all the way down my arm to about my elbow.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Now, I sort of recoiled in disgust and I went to go and take my glove off - and this has never
0:24:55 > 0:24:59happened before or since - but as I pulled it back,
0:24:59 > 0:25:03it pinged across and just splattered two nurses in faeces.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07It was in their eyes, in their nose, in their mouth - and they were absolutely distressed.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11They put the patient back down again and as they moved away, the funniest
0:25:11 > 0:25:15thing was, there was actually a silhouette of them both on the wall like Tom & Jerry.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18And er, yeah. Had to buy them flowers.
0:25:27 > 0:25:32Earlier in the show, we met Ramona, who'd battered her eyelid with a clothes rail, splitting it in two.
0:25:32 > 0:25:37Thankfully, she hasn't done any permanent damage, but her peeper still needs patching up.
0:25:37 > 0:25:43So she's back at Bradford Royal Infirmary with her sight set on surgery.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Overseeing the procedure is consultant eye specialist Mr Brogden.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55As he's only numbing the area with local anaesthetic, Ramona will be
0:25:55 > 0:26:00- awake throughout the procedure and able to keep an eye on things.- Oh!
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Mr Brogden first realigns the two halves of the lid.
0:26:05 > 0:26:10He then stitches them back together using dissolvable thread, taking care to ensure
0:26:10 > 0:26:14that Ramona's luscious lashes all point in the right direction.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17That's coming together quite nicely.
0:26:17 > 0:26:23A strip of plaster finishes the procedure, while a lick of mascara completes the look.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27It went very well. It was a significant injury, really.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30It's difficult to tell until you get the patient into theatre and
0:26:30 > 0:26:33have a look - but it involved the full thickness of the eyelid.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35It's a bit like organising a jigsaw really,
0:26:35 > 0:26:39and it came together nicely. So hopefully the result will be good.
0:26:43 > 0:26:48A week later, and Ramona's back at the eye department so that Mr Brogden can have a final look.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51It's also the first time Ramona's seen his handiwork.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55There's no infection there, it's healing up and it's nice and clean.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59- It's good for this stage. - That's good. Does it look all right?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Do you want to look in the mirror?
0:27:01 > 0:27:02I don't know whether I want to!
0:27:02 > 0:27:09Let's have a look. Far better than last Thursday anyway, yeah!
0:27:09 > 0:27:13# I can see clearly now the rain is gone... #
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Thanks to the combined efforts of the Bradford staff,
0:27:17 > 0:27:22Ramona's all set to resume her retail career - hopefully without any run-ins with railings.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Let's hope she's spotted those ones right in front of her.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# Bright, bright sun-shiney day. #
0:27:36 > 0:27:40Next time on Bizarre ER, we meet the girl who's darned her own digit...
0:27:42 > 0:27:45..a cute casualty refuses to let go of the lego...
0:27:48 > 0:27:51..and the chilling tale of how doctors saved a skater boy
0:27:51 > 0:27:54by putting his smashed up skull into deep freeze.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58You really put peas in a freezer, not your skull.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:13 > 0:28:17E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk