Episode 3

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:05SIREN RINGS

0:00:05 > 0:00:08This is the McGuinness Unit in Manchester,

0:00:08 > 0:00:12one of the largest teenage mental health units in the UK.

0:00:12 > 0:00:13GIRL YELLS

0:00:13 > 0:00:15It's the place of last resort

0:00:15 > 0:00:19for teenagers with eating disorders or psychosis,

0:00:19 > 0:00:22who self-harm or have OCD.

0:00:22 > 0:00:23Shut up!

0:00:23 > 0:00:27An in-patient facility that takes in the suicidal and disturbed

0:00:27 > 0:00:30to try and turn their lives around.

0:00:35 > 0:00:40For a year, we were given unparalleled access to film the patients...

0:00:40 > 0:00:42- No!- Just calm down.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44..and the staff.

0:00:44 > 0:00:48In the last five minutes, I've had a cup of water poured over my head.

0:00:48 > 0:00:49In the good times...

0:00:49 > 0:00:51BELCHING AND LAUGHTER

0:00:51 > 0:00:52..and the bad.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54SOBBING

0:00:59 > 0:01:02This is the reality for some of the half a million young people in Britain

0:01:02 > 0:01:04who have to deal with mental illness.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06GIRL SCREAMS

0:01:06 > 0:01:103,500 young people pass through units like this each year.

0:01:12 > 0:01:17This is the chance for some of them to tell us what it's really like on the inside,

0:01:17 > 0:01:20and how others see them on the outside.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22My brain's a bit...

0:01:22 > 0:01:24LAUGHTER

0:01:35 > 0:01:4017-year-old Matty has just been admitted to the McGuinness Psychiatric Unit.

0:01:40 > 0:01:44- That's cooked.- It's not. - It is. That is done.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48Matty suffers severe depression,

0:01:48 > 0:01:53and experiences psychotic episodes, hearing voices in his head.

0:01:53 > 0:01:59'I've had suicidal thoughts and I've attempted suicide numerous times.'

0:02:00 > 0:02:02I've stabbed myself, hanged myself.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06And that's it.

0:02:06 > 0:02:11Matty's voices say that someone will kill him on his 18th birthday,

0:02:11 > 0:02:13which is only six weeks away.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16These paranoid thoughts have been so strong

0:02:16 > 0:02:19that he has considered taking his own life.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23'I was actually planning to buy a gun on my 18th birthday.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26'Instead of someone else doing it to me, I'll do it myself.'

0:02:27 > 0:02:34Matty, admitted into hospital as he was seen by a lecturer at college,

0:02:34 > 0:02:38he was writing down on the internet thoughts of wanting to end his life,

0:02:38 > 0:02:40so the lecturer brought him to A&E,

0:02:40 > 0:02:43and he was transferred here later when a bed became available.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48Matty complained of experiencing depressive symptoms for over a year.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52We know he talked about experiencing voices, but those,

0:02:52 > 0:02:56rather than being psychotic, were more related to trauma

0:02:56 > 0:03:01and he experienced those voices when he was experiencing any distress.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Matty has been attending some of the group counselling sessions.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11This one is art therapy,

0:03:11 > 0:03:15and the young people are using photographs to help explore their conditions.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Images can make you think all different sorts of things.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21What do you think about the pictures that you've chosen?

0:03:21 > 0:03:26This one reminds me of, like, all the voices.

0:03:26 > 0:03:31- All my voices...- OK. - ..locked in separate boxes.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Brilliant, OK.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37And... that one's obviously about my thoughts,

0:03:37 > 0:03:41- like my past and stuff.- Mm-hmm.

0:03:41 > 0:03:42And that's it, really.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44So that one's really interesting,

0:03:44 > 0:03:47especially given that you said when you were walking around...

0:03:47 > 0:03:51The problem for Matty is the voices can strike at any time,

0:03:51 > 0:03:53day or night.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Shit.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Do you want me to take you back through, Matty?- Yes, please.- OK.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10MATTY BREATHES SLOWLY

0:04:17 > 0:04:21The voices cause Matty so much distress he turns violent,

0:04:21 > 0:04:24and has already punched holes in the walls of his room.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27'I hear around 50 voices.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31'They're all shouting at me, talking over each other.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34'What I do, I write stuff what they say to me.'

0:04:34 > 0:04:38Like, I've written some down there, and drew some pictures.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43"Just do it. Kill yourself."

0:04:43 > 0:04:45"Black Matty." That was my nickname.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50"Diary. Bang, and he's gone."

0:04:50 > 0:04:53That just says, "Fuck my life."

0:04:53 > 0:04:54When I do write it down,

0:04:54 > 0:04:58I can tell, like, the nurse or the doctor and give it to them.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00"I don't give a shit about them.

0:05:00 > 0:05:05"I hope they get fucking slaughtered, and I will kill."

0:05:10 > 0:05:14The 15 teenagers on the ward are not just treated with therapy and drugs.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Physical exercise is also a key part of helping them get better.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21Today, a dance instructor has been brought in.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24One, two, down.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27And wait. This time, go back.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Two, three, four.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31This afternoon, Matty is feeling a bit better.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33There are no voices disturbing him.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38Even so, this kind of dancing in front of other patients is a step too far.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41And backwards.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Forwards.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Skip.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48I can't dance with other people.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50I can dance by myself.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54He knows what I'm saying.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57MUSIC: "Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper

0:06:04 > 0:06:05I can do all that!

0:06:05 > 0:06:08It's just with other people, I can't do it.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16All the patients on the McGuinness Unit

0:06:16 > 0:06:19are here because they're considered a danger to themselves.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23It's a mixed ward of boys and girls aged 13 to 17,

0:06:23 > 0:06:27but there are usually two girls to every boy.

0:06:27 > 0:06:31We have a male corridor that has got one, two...

0:06:31 > 0:06:35that's got four beds on it, and there's 11 female beds.

0:06:37 > 0:06:42Males find it difficult to talk about the problems that they're having.

0:06:42 > 0:06:46'A bloke's more likely to disappear and keep himself to himself.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49'The females are more likely to talk to people.'

0:06:55 > 0:06:58Four days ago, a new boy arrived on the unit.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01'Since I've started with my depression,

0:07:01 > 0:07:04'I've had a couple of suicide attempts,'

0:07:04 > 0:07:06which is the first way to deal with it.

0:07:06 > 0:07:10And I just didn't see any other way of coping with it.

0:07:10 > 0:07:1316-year-old George is a very talented rugby player,

0:07:13 > 0:07:18and he won a prestigious scholarship to a top boarding school in Cumbria.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21I'm there, wearing someone else's shirt.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25But, while there, over 200 miles from his home in the South,

0:07:25 > 0:07:28he developed severe depression, and tried to kill himself.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32This is from my house at school, Sedgwick House.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Er... They all signed it.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37There's a picture of the boys.

0:07:37 > 0:07:41"I wish you the very best of luck. I hope you get better soon.

0:07:41 > 0:07:42"My thoughts will be with you.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45"You're a very special member of this House,

0:07:45 > 0:07:48"and you will be deeply missed. Much love, Tom."

0:07:48 > 0:07:51'A lot of my mates wonder why I'm here,

0:07:51 > 0:07:55and it was quite hard for them, I think, to understand

0:07:55 > 0:07:59why I was getting taken away and put into a unit like this.

0:07:59 > 0:08:04'I decided to write them a letter for my schoolmaster to read out.'

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I just told them...

0:08:06 > 0:08:09that I have got a mental problem at the moment,

0:08:09 > 0:08:11and I need a bit of help.

0:08:11 > 0:08:16And they all were, apparently, quite touched by that, my letter,

0:08:16 > 0:08:21and apparently there were a few tears in the boys' house,

0:08:21 > 0:08:23which you don't normally get.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27It was nice to hear how concerned people were.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30And, erm...

0:08:30 > 0:08:34Yeah, I'm getting a lot of support from my school.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37It's not just his school that is supporting him.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Once a week, George's father, Mark,

0:08:39 > 0:08:43drives up from the family home in Essex to spend time with his son.

0:08:43 > 0:08:48He's brought some pictures for George to put in the scrapbook that he's been making.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51What do you use it for?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54I just look at it when I'm feeling a bit shitty.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57There's a nice one of you and Mum, look. Portugal that was.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, my word, look at my nose!

0:08:59 > 0:09:03- There's Granddad.- Granddad Bill. - Ayesha. Granddad Bill.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05That was two years ago.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08And that was October, November time, as well.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11It just seems like a long time ago now.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13'I remember the first game I watched him,'

0:09:13 > 0:09:16I got a train up to Macclesfield. You didn't know I was there,

0:09:16 > 0:09:20I was standing behind a tree, and it was pouring with rain,

0:09:20 > 0:09:23- and then he...- I scored four tries. - He scored four tries.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26I didn't know he'd been made captain, either,

0:09:26 > 0:09:29so there was people going, "Who's that?"

0:09:29 > 0:09:32And I was sort of saying, "He's my son," you know?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35So it's... Very proud.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38To get a phone call near to midnight

0:09:38 > 0:09:44saying that your son's had a severe incident of depression

0:09:44 > 0:09:49and thinking, you know,

0:09:49 > 0:09:54what's going on in his mind...

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Erm, quite frightening. Very frightening.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00Some upsetting things, wasn't it?

0:10:04 > 0:10:08Psychiatrist Dr Acho has been looking after George

0:10:08 > 0:10:10since he was admitted.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14He would like to become a professional rugby player

0:10:14 > 0:10:16and he's very competitive,

0:10:16 > 0:10:19and this has created a lot of pressure on him

0:10:19 > 0:10:22'and feeling depressed,'

0:10:22 > 0:10:27and then made up his mind to end his life by hanging himself.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Fucking bullshit, love.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Boys like George and Matty often arrive on the unit angry,

0:10:41 > 0:10:44violent and aggressive.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48'We probably find that males, in general,'

0:10:48 > 0:10:49get to more of a crisis point,

0:10:49 > 0:10:53whereas with females, because they do like to talk about things,

0:10:53 > 0:10:56it will come up in conversation

0:10:56 > 0:10:59and people will sort of see

0:10:59 > 0:11:02that there may be problems a little bit earlier.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08'A bloke's more likely to be quite aggressive, quite hostile,'

0:11:08 > 0:11:13hitting out, punching things, needing to blow off steam, as it were.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Matty has been on the ward for two weeks,

0:11:24 > 0:11:26but the voices are still with him.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Shut up! Shut up.

0:11:38 > 0:11:39HE EXHALES

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Fuck off. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50HE GRUNTS

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Shut up. Shut up.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57'I don't know exactly, like, when this started,

0:11:57 > 0:11:59'but I started hearing three or four years ago.'

0:11:59 > 0:12:02They told me that everything was going to be all right

0:12:02 > 0:12:06if I listened to them. They could help me.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08If anyone tries to get in your way, hurt 'em.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12'Like, sometimes I get proper agitated about 'em.'

0:12:12 > 0:12:18I don't even see how it can... I don't even see how it can happen.

0:12:18 > 0:12:19It's madness.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23It's not normal.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25And I don't like it.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Matty's been having home leave every week,

0:12:32 > 0:12:36but last night the voices in his head became so unbearable that,

0:12:36 > 0:12:39for only the second time since he's been on the unit,

0:12:39 > 0:12:42he self-harmed.

0:12:42 > 0:12:46The review team meet to discuss whether he's safe enough for his home leave today.

0:12:46 > 0:12:50I met him with Dr Acho on Monday.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53He was talking about saving up money to buy a gun,

0:12:53 > 0:12:59so he knows that the gun costs about £250 and they sell it in Manchester city centre,

0:12:59 > 0:13:03so we were wondering if he wanted the gun to keep himself safe

0:13:03 > 0:13:05with the paranoid thoughts he expressed

0:13:05 > 0:13:08or he had intentions to end his life.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11He said initially it was for both the purposes.

0:13:11 > 0:13:15I think he's getting worse, to be honest. I am worried about it.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19I mean, I'm concerned that we don't really know a sufficient amount

0:13:19 > 0:13:21in terms of the risk he presents to others.

0:13:21 > 0:13:26That is concerning to me, so it's how we can get a clearer picture of that.

0:13:28 > 0:13:32It's down to staff nurse Pete to tell Matty what's been decided.

0:13:32 > 0:13:37We've obviously just had your meeting with regards to leave plans, etc.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Based on your presentation for the last couple of days,

0:13:40 > 0:13:44and the difficulties that you've had, you won't be going home today,

0:13:44 > 0:13:47but what I've suggested is that somebody, such as myself,

0:13:47 > 0:13:49escorts you home

0:13:49 > 0:13:53and spends some time with you at home.

0:13:53 > 0:13:57And what are you going to do today if you start having difficulties?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04I think you know what you need to do

0:14:04 > 0:14:08if you start having difficulties today based on this bad news.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10All right?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Bad news can trigger anxiety in a patient,

0:14:28 > 0:14:31and Matty looks like his mood might escalate.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38HE YELLS

0:14:42 > 0:14:44'Just keeping an eye out, really.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47'I mean, obviously, a bit of bad news,'

0:14:47 > 0:14:51so I just want to make sure that nothing inappropriate happens.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01But the unit is starting to have a positive effect on him,

0:15:01 > 0:15:05and today he seeks help to cope with his emotions.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Pete, will we be able to go outside?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Yeah, why not, mate? Not a problem.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20Erm, let me just make sure there's somebody in that lounge.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I've got the keys, have you got the kit?

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- What do you need?- A lighter. - Lighter?

0:15:25 > 0:15:30Just simply talking to someone is a key step in Matty's recovery.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32A bit cheesed off?

0:15:32 > 0:15:36If I spoke to someone last night, I would have been able to go.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38And I know that for myself.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Well, there is that,

0:15:40 > 0:15:43so it's a kind of a lesson learned on that score.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48And that's a much better way of dealing with it, isn't it?

0:15:48 > 0:15:50Listening to music.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53It's one of your things of how to deal with things

0:15:53 > 0:15:55when you're on your own, isn't it?

0:15:55 > 0:15:58SINGS: It's my aeroplane!

0:15:58 > 0:16:02You know I've got a tattoo on my back like Anthony Kiedis,

0:16:02 > 0:16:03the lead singer?

0:16:03 > 0:16:05I used to have Spanish galleon at the bottom, as well.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Can you still see it?

0:16:07 > 0:16:08Er, no.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Oh, it must've sank!

0:16:09 > 0:16:11MATTY CHUCKLES

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Ha-ha-ha! I knew we'd get a smile out of him eventually.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Look at that!

0:16:17 > 0:16:18Dr Pete.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22We don't need no tablets. We don't need no tablets!

0:16:29 > 0:16:30SPORT ON TV

0:16:31 > 0:16:33No. Fuck's sake.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35He's already committed.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37For fuck's sake.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40What a tit.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43Matty isn't the only one struggling with anger on the unit.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Oh! Fucking hell.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Fuck off!

0:16:48 > 0:16:50Selfish bastard.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Was that you?- Yeah.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- What did you do, punch it?- Yeah.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58They restrained me into this corner, but I ended up punching the wall.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01- I'm only joking. - And then got put in seclusion.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05Did you get put in seclusion? Was you secluded? Was you locked in?

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Why?

0:17:07 > 0:17:09And they gave me two diazepam.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Like cardboard.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18KNOCKING AT DOOR

0:17:22 > 0:17:25'It's not me when I'm angry. It's someone else sometimes.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28'That's what it feels like.'

0:17:28 > 0:17:31I can't really think for myself, my anger thinks for me.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Which probably sounds really weird, but that's just how it feels.

0:17:35 > 0:17:41And... I can't really do anything about it once I get there.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43It just sort of happens.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55George's anger is often prompted by a voice in his head.

0:17:57 > 0:18:02Like Matty, George takes anti-psychotic and anti-depressant drugs,

0:18:02 > 0:18:06and has regular sessions with psychiatrists to discuss his progress.

0:18:10 > 0:18:14- You're looking quite well today, actually.- You are looking well.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16When I saw you on Monday, you were feeling...

0:18:16 > 0:18:17It was half-half, wasn't it?

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Yeah, I was pretty shitty.

0:18:19 > 0:18:23I was fine, and then, after breakfast, I went in for a shower,

0:18:23 > 0:18:25got changed, and then suddenly I just...

0:18:25 > 0:18:31Something came over me, I suppose, and I started to feel really crappy.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34What about this issue of the voices? Is that a lot better now?

0:18:34 > 0:18:38No, they're still there. They're still there a lot.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40A lot at night, but sometimes during the day.

0:18:40 > 0:18:46And now I hear things and see things when I'm not depressed.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48I still see them when I am depressed,

0:18:48 > 0:18:51but now I see them now when I'm not depressed, as well.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55And the paranoia got a lot worse. A lot worse.

0:18:58 > 0:19:03The head of psychology at the McGuinness Unit is Dr Andy Rogers.

0:19:03 > 0:19:08For him and his staff, young people hearing voices is a common problem.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11'One of the triggers can be an increase in stress or anxiety,'

0:19:11 > 0:19:14and, with anxiety, their thoughts race

0:19:14 > 0:19:19so they're thinking about things and feeling anxious a lot of the time.

0:19:19 > 0:19:24'They then start to question what's real and what's not real.'

0:19:24 > 0:19:28These things creep up over time, often, that's what young people say.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30It's not that they wake up one day...

0:19:31 > 0:19:36And there's usually a story around their experiences,

0:19:36 > 0:19:38and helping to understand what that story is,

0:19:38 > 0:19:40and helping them understand,

0:19:40 > 0:19:43actually can then help them manage it, manage the symptoms better.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49The voice in George's head is a man who tells him he is worthless

0:19:49 > 0:19:51and should quit rugby.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55'It does scare me.'

0:19:55 > 0:20:00I shake and I cry, and that's when my anxiety gets worse, I suppose.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03'A couple of nights ago, I had my worst episode of it.'

0:20:03 > 0:20:06I called my dad, cos I was really scared,

0:20:06 > 0:20:11cos he was saying horrible things, really derogatory things,

0:20:11 > 0:20:15asked me questions, telling me what people thought.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17I can't live like this.

0:20:17 > 0:20:18I do it all the time.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23It's a burden, almost.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28I hate it.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Really hate it.

0:20:32 > 0:20:33- Cheers.- All right.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Like most people on the unit,

0:20:38 > 0:20:40Matty and George are voluntary patients.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42They've agreed to be there.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49But others have been sectioned under the Mental Health Act,

0:20:49 > 0:20:51which means that they don't have a choice.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Like Beth, who has to stay on the ward.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56I'm 17...

0:20:58 > 0:21:00..and they fit me.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Beth was admitted four months ago

0:21:02 > 0:21:04with an eating disorder and depression.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06She would not eat for days at a time.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10Today, I've gone 100 hours with no food or drink.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13She wouldn't comply with staff, and self-harmed regularly.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15That helps it fade.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19I had that band yesterday and that steri-strip today.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21You won't let us weigh you, that'll be changing.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23No, it won't.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25What's your biggest fear?

0:21:26 > 0:21:29That I've put on weight since I've been in here anyway.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Cos I know I have.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39That was three months ago.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Since then, Beth's condition has improved.

0:21:42 > 0:21:46She's started eating at meal times, and is self-harming less.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53Being on a section means she must comply with her treatment.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55She has finally started to be weighed.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01This is the first time Beth has allowed the cameras to film her on the scales.

0:22:07 > 0:22:0951.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13Are you getting ready, or are you going back in?

0:22:13 > 0:22:15Going back to bed.

0:22:15 > 0:22:19Since she was sectioned, her food intake has increased,

0:22:19 > 0:22:21meaning her weight today is 51kg.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25But this is still under her target weight of 57.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29I think it was more anxiety before,

0:22:29 > 0:22:31because I was really unsure of my weight,

0:22:31 > 0:22:35and I thought it would be like, put on 20 million stone.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37But I've not.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40They've got to weigh me anyway, so I can be discharged.

0:22:40 > 0:22:45I still get scared because I don't want to put on weight

0:22:45 > 0:22:47but you've got to.

0:22:47 > 0:22:51It's the illness that's telling you not to put on weight.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58'She slept before midnight,'

0:22:58 > 0:23:02and she slept all the way through to past seven o'clock in the morning.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06Medication can be an effective way of managing a patient's condition.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11But over-reliance on some drugs can become a problem.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14She's sleeping all the way through up till eight.

0:23:14 > 0:23:18Today, the review team are going to change Beth's sleeping medication.

0:23:18 > 0:23:22Because if you're staying asleep and your sleep is not interrupted,

0:23:22 > 0:23:24I don't know what are zopiclone going to do?

0:23:24 > 0:23:27The most effective thing is really the sleep hygiene to get her to sleep

0:23:27 > 0:23:29or melatonin.

0:23:31 > 0:23:37George, Gill, do you mind giving us some privacy, please?

0:23:37 > 0:23:39Beth might be getting better,

0:23:39 > 0:23:41but being told that her drugs are going to be changed

0:23:41 > 0:23:43is making her stressed.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45SHE SNIFFS

0:23:45 > 0:23:47There's got to be some positives, though, hasn't there?

0:23:47 > 0:23:51Like what? Being stuck in hospital with everybody just letting you down?

0:23:51 > 0:23:55But look how much progression you've made since admission.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58You know, and one of the things that can reflect that is you leave.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01And what do you want?

0:24:01 > 0:24:03You tell me what, cos I can't just get it, can I?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05I need to tell her what you want.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08- I just want you to write me up for that.- For zopiclone?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10Yeah, and take me off melatonin.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13OK. I'll go and give her a ring and see if we can find something out.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16- You're very demanding aren't you? - Yeah, because nothing gets done.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19Right, let me just find who's got the keys.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31She's gone home.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Fuck!

0:24:34 > 0:24:37Tonight, we're not going to be able to get you anything, all right?

0:24:39 > 0:24:41- Listen...- No!- Just calm down,

0:24:41 > 0:24:44because this isn't going to get us anywhere, is it?

0:24:44 > 0:24:48I know you think we're all crap, but we do do our best.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51I know it doesn't feel like that, but...

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Will you leave me on my own, please?

0:24:53 > 0:24:54Yeah.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59- Right, you just want some time to calm down?- Yeah.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Don't wind yourself up, all right?

0:25:00 > 0:25:03And we'll do everything that we can to sort it out.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16'She's not very happy.'

0:25:16 > 0:25:21- I think she'll be all right, but it's just to be wary that she could...- All right.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27'Hopefully, she'll be able to put things into perspective,

0:25:27 > 0:25:30'and see what we're doing and how we're trying to help.'

0:25:30 > 0:25:33She didn't think people cared, nobody was doing anything for her,

0:25:33 > 0:25:35whereas we are, but, because she's in a distressed state,

0:25:35 > 0:25:37she's not seeing the true picture.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Where could they be? I have no idea!

0:25:47 > 0:25:48GIGGLING

0:25:48 > 0:25:52- Ah! God!- Did you actually know we were in there?

0:25:53 > 0:25:56Is there anyone else in here?

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Right, Janine, get out of there now.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Tinsel!

0:26:03 > 0:26:05I've got a cowboy hat on!

0:26:13 > 0:26:14THEY LAUGH

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Matty has now been on the ward for four weeks,

0:26:21 > 0:26:23but he is still hearing voices in his head,

0:26:23 > 0:26:27and fears that when he turns 18 in just two weeks,

0:26:27 > 0:26:29someone will kill him.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32Last night, he had an angry outburst, threw a chair at the wall,

0:26:32 > 0:26:34and had to be restrained.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36I was trying to calm down,

0:26:36 > 0:26:39but I was hearing voices and got really, really angry,

0:26:39 > 0:26:43started hitting myself, and then the closest thing to me was that.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46'What they do, they put you in a headlock, and my head was killing.'

0:26:46 > 0:26:50I'm glad that they did it, to take me down there,

0:26:50 > 0:26:53because I had time to myself to calm down.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56That's basically what it's for.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59Yeah, it was all right.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02Well, it weren't all right, but it was all right.

0:27:06 > 0:27:11Because Matty was restrained, his case manager, Maureen, needs to speak to him.

0:27:11 > 0:27:14She's keen to find out what lies behind his anger.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17You got wound up about things, the voices.

0:27:17 > 0:27:22It's hard for me to speak to people. Usually, I just can't speak to them.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Do you often experience anger?

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Yeah.

0:27:26 > 0:27:30I've had, like, when I was in secondary school,

0:27:30 > 0:27:32I had anger management,

0:27:32 > 0:27:35but it just made me angry, to tell you the truth.

0:27:35 > 0:27:36MAUREEN LAUGHS

0:27:36 > 0:27:40Sitting in a room full of angry people, talking about angry stuff.

0:27:40 > 0:27:44- Yeah.- It doesn't work at all.

0:27:44 > 0:27:48I think, for you, it's more about how you manage anxiety and stresses,

0:27:48 > 0:27:52and your interpretation of things, you know?

0:27:52 > 0:27:57I think that's probably more the path than just anger management, per se.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Matty has been finding group sessions difficult to deal with,

0:28:06 > 0:28:10and usually leaves abruptly halfway through.

0:28:10 > 0:28:13And sometimes it can feel as though you're on your own,

0:28:13 > 0:28:18and it can feel as though you don't have anybody to support you.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21Today's session is with Vicki, the occupational therapist.

0:28:21 > 0:28:24What I want you to do is just take a couple of minutes

0:28:24 > 0:28:28to have a think about who are the people that support you?

0:28:28 > 0:28:32Your family, it can be friends. Whoever it might be.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34Matty?

0:28:34 > 0:28:36Maybe one person.

0:28:36 > 0:28:40Apart from that, I don't think... No-one else.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44OK. And do you feel able to access the support

0:28:44 > 0:28:48from that particular person if you need to?

0:28:48 > 0:28:50Erm...

0:28:50 > 0:28:52- Not always.- Not always?

0:28:52 > 0:28:56This is the first time Matty has stayed to the end of this type of group activity.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58It marks a massive step forward.

0:28:58 > 0:29:01It's very exciting, this group!

0:29:01 > 0:29:03Aren't you glad you stayed?

0:29:03 > 0:29:06- Not really.- No? Oh, no!

0:29:06 > 0:29:09- Thank you.- Cheers.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13Just towards the end there, he had, by the end of it,

0:29:13 > 0:29:19written I think five names of people who are there to support him.

0:29:19 > 0:29:22He able to think about it and reflect on it,

0:29:22 > 0:29:25and write those things down, so that's really positive as well,

0:29:25 > 0:29:28and even if he takes away nothing else from today,

0:29:28 > 0:29:32but he takes away the fact that, actually, he does have people,

0:29:32 > 0:29:34because, initially, he wrote "No-one."

0:29:36 > 0:29:39I used to just bottle it all up,

0:29:39 > 0:29:42but it's just helped me speaking to people.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46Like, they will listen,

0:29:46 > 0:29:50and some of them will actually understand what I'm saying.

0:29:53 > 0:29:57Basically, all we're doing first is measuring out 150 grams into your bowl.

0:30:03 > 0:30:05HE LAUGHS

0:30:11 > 0:30:13The McGuinness Unit has both boys and girls

0:30:13 > 0:30:17because the doctors want it to feel as close to the outside world as possible.

0:30:21 > 0:30:24But that can bring about its own complications.

0:30:30 > 0:30:32THEY LAUGH

0:30:32 > 0:30:35A flirtation has developed between two patients on the ward.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39Any form of romance is strictly forbidden.

0:30:39 > 0:30:43He's the type of guy that I would go for on the outside.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47Oh, for God's sake. I'm giving up.

0:30:47 > 0:30:51Erm, but, like... I feel like I've gone red.

0:30:51 > 0:30:54Yeah, me and Beth are really close now.

0:30:54 > 0:30:55Erm...

0:30:55 > 0:30:57Er...

0:30:59 > 0:31:01Yeah, we're pretty close.

0:31:02 > 0:31:04Oh, my God!

0:31:09 > 0:31:14We just get along really well, when he's not being a dick.

0:31:14 > 0:31:16Oh!

0:31:16 > 0:31:17He knows how to wind me up.

0:31:19 > 0:31:23And I guess I know how to wind him up, so...

0:31:23 > 0:31:25Why are your slippers there?

0:31:28 > 0:31:32'We have kind of hinted at each other that we do kind of like each other,

0:31:32 > 0:31:34'but it's the wrong circumstances,'

0:31:34 > 0:31:37because we're in a psychiatric hospital.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40Like, what can you do in a psychiatric hospital?

0:31:40 > 0:31:42Everyone's in a vulnerable state,

0:31:42 > 0:31:44so it could... If you ended up having an argument,

0:31:44 > 0:31:46it could affect your recovery

0:31:46 > 0:31:49To say sorry to George for throwing his slippers out of the window,

0:31:49 > 0:31:52Beth makes him a pancake in the cookery class.

0:31:52 > 0:31:55- What a shitty pancake!- Oh, shut up.

0:31:55 > 0:31:57It looks like potato.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59< Is there paper plates in here?

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Oh, that stinks!

0:32:03 > 0:32:06Ta-da! See, it now looks like a pancake

0:32:06 > 0:32:10But George is not that impressed with Beth's offering.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12I'm definitely not fucking touching it.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14What's that white shit around it?

0:32:14 > 0:32:16It's home-made! Oh, that's minging.

0:32:20 > 0:32:23Patients' moods change daily, sometimes hourly,

0:32:23 > 0:32:27so they have regular mental health assessments.

0:32:27 > 0:32:29These give the staff and young people

0:32:29 > 0:32:33a clearer picture of what's going on inside the patient's head.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36Earlier this week, I got my first report back

0:32:36 > 0:32:40from my case manager and my psychologist.

0:32:40 > 0:32:43But I didn't think I'd get statistics like these, really, like the percentage.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47For instance, anxiety, I scored 97%,

0:32:47 > 0:32:50depression 95.8,

0:32:50 > 0:32:52anger 96.8,

0:32:52 > 0:32:54disruptive behaviour 90.

0:32:54 > 0:32:59And they're all extremely elevated, which isn't... isn't good.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02I never thought they were going to be that high, really.

0:33:02 > 0:33:04All the things I'm worried about,

0:33:04 > 0:33:07like voices and all those sorts of things,

0:33:07 > 0:33:11just in one document, which is pretty useful to have

0:33:11 > 0:33:13because know I can see it in paper,

0:33:13 > 0:33:16and I know all the issues and problems without guessing.

0:33:19 > 0:33:22This information helps George understand his problems better,

0:33:22 > 0:33:27and the time on the unit gives him space to reflect on his situation.

0:33:27 > 0:33:28Fucking free.

0:33:28 > 0:33:31It's like a safety blanket, really.

0:33:31 > 0:33:37I feel more secure and more safe here than I did before.

0:33:37 > 0:33:40I'm with people that understand me.

0:33:40 > 0:33:43Over a game of pool with the student nurse, Ross,

0:33:43 > 0:33:46he begins to open up his feelings towards rugby,

0:33:46 > 0:33:48the sport he's always loved,

0:33:48 > 0:33:51and that he'd hoped would be his profession.

0:33:51 > 0:33:52It's hard to talk about, really.

0:33:52 > 0:33:55Yeah. If you don't want to talk about it, that's absolutely fine.

0:33:55 > 0:33:59No, no, it's fine. It's just hard to.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01No man likes talking about how they feel.

0:34:01 > 0:34:04Well, I've lost interest in rugby quite a bit,

0:34:04 > 0:34:10because of all my issues. I haven't had time concentrate on it as much.

0:34:10 > 0:34:14But that's another reason why I'm here, to find that interest again,

0:34:14 > 0:34:17so I can enjoy that a bit more again.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19You know, you've got your whole life ahead of you, haven't you?

0:34:19 > 0:34:23But obviously none of us can make that decision for you.

0:34:23 > 0:34:25All we can do is help you.

0:34:25 > 0:34:28Cos that's what I want to do, make the right decision.

0:34:30 > 0:34:33The decision George makes about his future

0:34:33 > 0:34:35could affect the rest of his life.

0:34:35 > 0:34:38For the past two years, he has been on a rugby scholarship

0:34:38 > 0:34:41at a boarding school in Cumbria, living his dream.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44But as he struggled to cope so far from home,

0:34:44 > 0:34:48it's made him question what is best for him and his recovery.

0:34:48 > 0:34:50Ohhh!

0:34:56 > 0:35:00We're going to talk a bit about the future...

0:35:00 > 0:35:03Three weeks later, during a session with Dr Paul,

0:35:03 > 0:35:06George makes his decision.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09It's just the fact that I'm not going back to my boarding school

0:35:09 > 0:35:14cos boarding school isn't the right place for me at the moment.

0:35:14 > 0:35:20Yeah, it is quite hard to swallow, but that is the right decision.

0:35:20 > 0:35:26In terms of friends and stuff, what have you got down there?

0:35:26 > 0:35:29Have you got a lot of friends still from school time?

0:35:29 > 0:35:31Yeah, I've got a few.

0:35:32 > 0:35:35Having decided to leave his boarding school

0:35:35 > 0:35:37and go back to live with his family in Essex,

0:35:37 > 0:35:41George will be moved to another psychiatric unit closer to home

0:35:41 > 0:35:44but only when a bed becomes available.

0:35:45 > 0:35:48Hello!

0:35:48 > 0:35:50Hello!

0:35:53 > 0:35:54Hello!

0:36:01 > 0:36:02In recent weeks,

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Beth, who is sectioned under the mental health act,

0:36:04 > 0:36:06has been making progress.

0:36:08 > 0:36:12For the first time in two months, she is allowed to eat on her own.

0:36:12 > 0:36:17Over the past few weeks, I've been taken off supervision for my snacks,

0:36:17 > 0:36:23I've got more leave. It's been good spending the time with my family.

0:36:23 > 0:36:25It's been weird and it's scary,

0:36:25 > 0:36:29but it's just cos I've been stuck in here for loads of time.

0:36:29 > 0:36:32Being in hospital has meant Beth has had to give up

0:36:32 > 0:36:34some of the things she loves most.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36Before she was admitted,

0:36:36 > 0:36:38she had taken part in many dance competitions

0:36:38 > 0:36:40and won lots of trophies.

0:36:40 > 0:36:43- Does it make you feel a bit sad knowing...? - It makes me feel a bit sad.

0:36:43 > 0:36:46- Bit emotional?- Yeah. - But that's the thing, you know,

0:36:46 > 0:36:49you can start up your dancing and everything like that again.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51But due to her eating disorder,

0:36:51 > 0:36:54she is not allowed to exercise because she'd lose weight.

0:36:54 > 0:36:55So that is still the case,

0:36:55 > 0:36:58compliance with weight monitoring and meal plan remains improved?

0:36:58 > 0:37:01Now the staff must decide if Beth has made enough progress

0:37:01 > 0:37:04to return to dancing.

0:37:04 > 0:37:07She's going to be burning off energy, is her weight going to plummet because of this?

0:37:07 > 0:37:11Activity levels in relation to her diet, isn't it?

0:37:11 > 0:37:15So where we are, in terms of how much she can tolerate, there isn't as such.

0:37:15 > 0:37:18This leave remains contingent on the present issue.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21- So it'd be like at nurses' discretion?- It is on that, but...

0:37:29 > 0:37:32It's been a long five months,

0:37:32 > 0:37:35but Beth is finally back on the dance floor.

0:37:35 > 0:37:38'Just seeing everyone and how everyone's missed me,'

0:37:38 > 0:37:43I'm just really glad to be back, cos I thought I'd never be let back

0:37:43 > 0:37:45once I'd been put in the unit.

0:37:46 > 0:37:50The dance class shows just how far Beth has come in her recovery,

0:37:50 > 0:37:53and she's even started writing a book

0:37:53 > 0:37:56about her experiences with mental illness.

0:37:56 > 0:38:00"Mental health is so common, yet there is so much stigma surrounding it.

0:38:00 > 0:38:02"We are all just normal everyday people.

0:38:02 > 0:38:05"In fact, walking along a busy street today,

0:38:05 > 0:38:10"you probably passed over 150 people with some form or severity of mental health.

0:38:10 > 0:38:14"I have a mental illness. Am I ashamed? Not any more.

0:38:14 > 0:38:17"I admit, yeah, I did used to hide and lie about my illness,

0:38:17 > 0:38:20"but, now, why should I have to lie about something

0:38:20 > 0:38:24"that has made me grow into a stronger and overall better person?

0:38:24 > 0:38:26"Why hide something that makes me unique?"

0:38:26 > 0:38:30Fantastic. I mean, that just gives people a tremendous insight

0:38:30 > 0:38:35into what it's like to be you, really, and what it's like to suffer from such a horrible condition.

0:38:36 > 0:38:39All the nurses from the examination.

0:38:39 > 0:38:43- This is over the past week, though, isn't it?- Past two weeks.- Fortnight.

0:38:43 > 0:38:47- So have we had any incident or any concerns for the past two weeks?- No.

0:38:49 > 0:38:52The review team is discussing Beth's diet.

0:38:52 > 0:38:55Despite her recent steps towards recovery,

0:38:55 > 0:38:58she still has goals to achieve with her eating plan.

0:38:58 > 0:39:01I think she's in quite a big rush to move on and get discharged.

0:39:01 > 0:39:04All the indications are that things are moving rather fast,

0:39:04 > 0:39:07and, if anything, people want her to move even faster,

0:39:07 > 0:39:09which makes it a bit of a challenge, really,

0:39:09 > 0:39:12from the eating side of things for that speed to be matched up

0:39:12 > 0:39:14when she gets discharged from here.

0:39:14 > 0:39:17But it seems like there is a clear shortfall in the calories

0:39:17 > 0:39:20which needs to be made up before she gets discharged.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39There is a week to go before Matty turns 18.

0:39:39 > 0:39:43He has always found it difficult to open up,

0:39:43 > 0:39:46but today his best friend, Ryan, is coming to visit him

0:39:46 > 0:39:50- Yeah, it's Matthew. - Yes, Ryan, how you doing?

0:39:50 > 0:39:53- You good?- Yeah, man.- Sweet.

0:39:54 > 0:39:58And it's chance for Matty to talk about what he's been going through.

0:39:58 > 0:40:00A few years ago, I wasn't hearing nothing like this,

0:40:00 > 0:40:04and now it's just happened. It's not real, you get me?

0:40:04 > 0:40:07When they let me down here, socialising with everybody,

0:40:07 > 0:40:10I tried hanging myself in the bathrooms over there.

0:40:10 > 0:40:13Why were you feeling like that when they moved you down here?

0:40:13 > 0:40:14Cos...

0:40:14 > 0:40:18I was just, like, depressed that day, and...

0:40:18 > 0:40:23I just didn't want to stay any more.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25The best option for me was to go.

0:40:25 > 0:40:28And that was the way I was going to go.

0:40:28 > 0:40:31You seem a bit happier now, though, you seem a bit more...

0:40:31 > 0:40:35A bit more you, if that makes sense?

0:40:35 > 0:40:38Getting back to the Matty I used to know.

0:40:38 > 0:40:40Sweet.

0:40:40 > 0:40:43'I noticed he was getting down and he weren't interacting well.'

0:40:43 > 0:40:46I'd say something and he'd just be like, "What did you say?"

0:40:46 > 0:40:50It's like, you know, the paranoia, I noticed the paranoia coming in.

0:40:50 > 0:40:54A lot of people have a stigma about it,

0:40:54 > 0:40:57and sometimes even stereotype people having depression.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00I do understand why people could be a bit nervous,

0:41:00 > 0:41:04but I'm all right with it. I'm always here.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16Matty has taken big steps forward in the unit

0:41:16 > 0:41:18but with his 18th birthday imminent,

0:41:18 > 0:41:21it means he will have to leave the ward.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30'When a young person turns 18,'

0:41:30 > 0:41:33although from being 17 one day to 18 the next day,

0:41:33 > 0:41:36doesn't matter for us clinically,

0:41:36 > 0:41:39what it means legally is that they are an adult

0:41:39 > 0:41:43'and what that means is that you have an adult on a children's ward,'

0:41:43 > 0:41:48and that raises lots of legal and safeguarding issues.

0:41:48 > 0:41:54The search is underway to find Matty a bed on an adult ward somewhere in the region,

0:41:54 > 0:41:56but beds can be hard to come by.

0:41:57 > 0:42:01We have to walk to the side, Doctor please. Thank you very much.

0:42:01 > 0:42:06Everybody has to walk like this so you don't mess my floor up.

0:42:08 > 0:42:11A good shake. This is good for the hips.

0:42:11 > 0:42:16You could do a dance with it, if you wanted to.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Oh, I'm sweating now.

0:42:18 > 0:42:21MUSIC: "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder

0:42:26 > 0:42:29George is still waiting to find out when he will be transferred

0:42:29 > 0:42:32to a psychiatric hospital closer to his home in the South.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38Over the past two weeks, he has started to improve,

0:42:38 > 0:42:41returning to the things he once did,

0:42:41 > 0:42:44taking part in more group activities.

0:42:47 > 0:42:51Even though he doesn't want to go back to his prestigious boarding school,

0:42:51 > 0:42:55he now knows that he wants to return to the sport he loves.

0:42:57 > 0:42:58I'm there, at the back.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02'I'm on my way to getting a scholarship'

0:43:02 > 0:43:06at a school closer to home.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09'A lot of the work I've done is looking at things in perspective.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12'If one thing goes wrong, not everything's going to go wrong,

0:43:12 > 0:43:15'and that's what I used to get anxious about.'

0:43:15 > 0:43:19I think the one big thing that's changed is my mindset.

0:43:19 > 0:43:23'I'm probably more mentally tough than I have been,

0:43:23 > 0:43:24'and I think that's a big factor.'

0:43:24 > 0:43:28I just can't wait to get back out there and do some people proud.

0:43:39 > 0:43:43After ten weeks on the unit, George is leaving today,

0:43:43 > 0:43:47moving to a hospital closer to his home in Essex.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49No! Are you going?

0:43:49 > 0:43:51Oh, my God!

0:43:51 > 0:43:55- So, have things improved while you've been here?- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:43:55 > 0:43:57Bit nervous about moving on?

0:43:57 > 0:43:59Yeah, a bit. A little bit.

0:43:59 > 0:44:01Well, keep up the hard work. Well done.

0:44:01 > 0:44:03I probably won't see you again.

0:44:03 > 0:44:06'It's obviously a very difficult morning for him,'

0:44:06 > 0:44:09and he's a lad, he doesn't really want to show it,

0:44:09 > 0:44:12but you can clearly tell he's quite nervous about it.

0:44:12 > 0:44:15'But hopefully he won't be at the new place for too long,

0:44:15 > 0:44:18'because he's took massive steps while he's been with us.'

0:44:18 > 0:44:21But it will obviously be very difficult for him.

0:44:24 > 0:44:26- Group hug, everyone.- Group hug.

0:44:51 > 0:44:56George leaving makes Beth even more determined to get home.

0:44:56 > 0:44:59Beep beep. Coming through.

0:45:03 > 0:45:04What is that?

0:45:04 > 0:45:06Watch your feet.

0:45:08 > 0:45:12Beth is one of the unit's longest-standing residents.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21It's actually really nice.

0:45:23 > 0:45:28Beth is now starting to look to the future for the first time.

0:45:28 > 0:45:31When I get discharged from here, I'm going to go home,

0:45:31 > 0:45:36sleep in a nice comfy bed with new bedding,

0:45:36 > 0:45:39new duvet cover, new pillows.

0:45:39 > 0:45:41'I still want things to go faster than they're going,

0:45:41 > 0:45:44'but things are going really fast now.'

0:45:44 > 0:45:46Like, my weight's more stable now,

0:45:46 > 0:45:51and I've got more, I've got the energy to actually do things.

0:45:55 > 0:45:59The last three readings should all have been rounded to 51.5.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02It's maintained, it's not dipped again.

0:46:02 > 0:46:06The trend of two readings that we saw was the initial sort of aim, really, wasn't it?

0:46:06 > 0:46:09The review team is pleased with her progress,

0:46:09 > 0:46:12but need to ensure she continues to gain weight.

0:46:12 > 0:46:18We're looking at a leave date being around the 25th.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21This is the last bit of her recovery

0:46:21 > 0:46:23that she really needs to achieve while she's still with us,

0:46:23 > 0:46:25and it's a difficult one for her.

0:46:25 > 0:46:29And we have to concentrate on the fact that we need to achieve it this week, really,

0:46:29 > 0:46:33for her then to focus her mind towards discharge.

0:46:38 > 0:46:42After nearly six months in the unit, the end is in sight.

0:46:42 > 0:46:46It's now up to her to prove she's ready to go.

0:46:46 > 0:46:50But, last night, she self-harmed.

0:46:55 > 0:46:58A search is now underway for a razor in her bedroom

0:46:58 > 0:47:00or outside her window.

0:47:00 > 0:47:02She's used it and then she's threw it out,

0:47:02 > 0:47:08and that's the bit she's used, there.

0:47:08 > 0:47:10That's the bit she's self-harmed with.

0:47:12 > 0:47:15Now her room is being turned upside down by staff

0:47:15 > 0:47:17to ensure there are no other blades,

0:47:17 > 0:47:22and the doctor has come to say her home leave is being cancelled.

0:47:23 > 0:47:25Is there no chance I can go home?

0:47:25 > 0:47:28We do agree that your leave has been really, really good

0:47:28 > 0:47:30and it has helped you,

0:47:30 > 0:47:33and stopping you from going on leave is not as a punishment

0:47:33 > 0:47:35because you self-harmed, OK?

0:47:35 > 0:47:39- It is, though.- But we want to make sure that you are safe.

0:47:39 > 0:47:44I am safe. What have I done on leave that's prevented me from going,

0:47:44 > 0:47:48except a little stupid thing that I did on the unit last night?

0:47:48 > 0:47:51But that was last night, that's not today.

0:47:51 > 0:47:55- So you accept it was a stupid thing to do?- Yeah!

0:47:55 > 0:47:58I don't want arms like this, do I?

0:47:58 > 0:48:00SHE SNIFFS

0:48:00 > 0:48:02All I'm saying is....

0:48:02 > 0:48:04Wait until tomorrow?

0:48:04 > 0:48:07You don't understand, though. None of you do in here.

0:48:07 > 0:48:10You all think, "Oh, it'll be fine tomorrow, we'll just sort it out tomorrow."

0:48:10 > 0:48:15But tomorrow's ages away when you've been stuck in here almost six fucking months.

0:48:20 > 0:48:24- So I'll speak to you tomorrow then? - No!

0:48:24 > 0:48:27You can speak to Dr Imran tomorrow if you want?

0:48:27 > 0:48:30All right, whatever. Just please get out of my room.

0:48:30 > 0:48:33You don't even know what you're on about.

0:48:33 > 0:48:36All right. Thanks, Beth. Thanks for speaking to me.

0:48:36 > 0:48:38No, don't even talk to me. Just go away.

0:48:41 > 0:48:45Do you want to go and get yourself a tissue while I search your chair?

0:48:48 > 0:48:50The staff did not find any other blades,

0:48:50 > 0:48:52and, despite the set back,

0:48:52 > 0:48:56it's actually made Beth aware of how much progress she has been making.

0:48:56 > 0:48:58In the past when I self-harmed,

0:48:58 > 0:49:03it used to make me feel really good, really better. It didn't even hurt.

0:49:03 > 0:49:07But this time it was just, like, annoying,

0:49:07 > 0:49:12because I just kept getting annoyed because it wouldn't stop bleeding,

0:49:12 > 0:49:17and then I thought, "Shit, I need to get it seen to," and I just...

0:49:17 > 0:49:20I don't know, it just doesn't work the same any more.

0:49:20 > 0:49:23I hate the fact that it didn't really work for me this time.

0:49:23 > 0:49:26I think it just shows that I am getting better now.

0:49:30 > 0:49:33'I think one of the things that we notice and we sort of expect'

0:49:33 > 0:49:37is that, as young people come up for discharge, their anxiety builds,

0:49:37 > 0:49:42because, in effect, they're going back out to their life and their experience,

0:49:42 > 0:49:45'and so it wouldn't be unusual for young people have a blip,

0:49:45 > 0:49:47'or seem like they're taking a step back.'

0:49:47 > 0:49:51And it's about supporting them through that process.

0:49:51 > 0:49:56I guess it would be unusual not to expect a young person to be more anxious.

0:50:11 > 0:50:15When people hear the word "recovery," what comes to mind?

0:50:15 > 0:50:18When you're mental and then you're not mental.

0:50:18 > 0:50:20SHE LAUGHS

0:50:20 > 0:50:23OK, how do we feel about the word "mental"?

0:50:23 > 0:50:24That's what we are.

0:50:24 > 0:50:27I don't know, really...

0:50:27 > 0:50:30Just helping...

0:50:30 > 0:50:35- yourself. People helping you. - Your friends helping you.

0:50:35 > 0:50:38In the six weeks that he has been on the ward,

0:50:38 > 0:50:42Matty has been convinced someone will kill him on his 18th birthday.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45The paranoia has been so strong

0:50:45 > 0:50:48that he has considered taking his own life on the day.

0:50:49 > 0:50:53The two actions points that I've got down are to contact Beth

0:50:53 > 0:50:56about the progress with the ward in Oldham...

0:50:56 > 0:50:58Staff now have to work on a care plan

0:50:58 > 0:51:00to ensure that Matty is supported on his birthday,

0:51:00 > 0:51:02whether he's on the McGuinness Unit

0:51:02 > 0:51:05or is transferred to an adult ward somewhere else.

0:51:05 > 0:51:06So that's what we agree,

0:51:06 > 0:51:10that he will be discharged to an adult in-patient unit,

0:51:10 > 0:51:13but how soon that will happen we don't know,

0:51:13 > 0:51:16because they tend to have a waiting list.

0:51:16 > 0:51:19If we can plan the same way as we planned on the last board review

0:51:19 > 0:51:21then I think we should be OK.

0:51:21 > 0:51:25Yeah, I agree, cos that's the reason that the discharge was stopped

0:51:25 > 0:51:27because of the thoughts that he had,

0:51:27 > 0:51:31so, yeah, as long as he's got support during that day.

0:51:35 > 0:51:40The staff on the unit are hoping to find a bed for Matty at an adult hospital,

0:51:40 > 0:51:44but a couple of days later, on the evening before he turns 18,

0:51:44 > 0:51:46it is still not clear what is going to happen to him.

0:51:53 > 0:51:58I'm still pretty worried,

0:51:58 > 0:52:02and anxious and paranoid about what's happening.

0:52:03 > 0:52:04I mean, it's tomorrow.

0:52:04 > 0:52:06HE BELCHES

0:52:06 > 0:52:09Pardon me. It starts, like, 12 o'clock tonight.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11Anything could happen.

0:52:48 > 0:52:51The following morning, Matty's room is empty.

0:52:54 > 0:52:58He was discharged after a bed suddenly became available

0:52:58 > 0:53:02at an adult psychiatric hospital closer to his home and friends.

0:53:02 > 0:53:05Obviously, Matty wasn't particularly aware of it

0:53:05 > 0:53:08because pretty much the staff weren't aware of it either,

0:53:08 > 0:53:12so as soon as we found out that there was a bed that became available

0:53:12 > 0:53:16in an adult services setting, we were right on that,

0:53:16 > 0:53:19and that's why Matty was moved on as quickly as he was.

0:53:26 > 0:53:29It's the morning of the weekly reviews,

0:53:29 > 0:53:32and there is a sense of anticipation on the ward.

0:53:36 > 0:53:40Beth has heard that the staff are discussing her possible discharge.

0:53:40 > 0:53:42Stop talking about me!

0:53:46 > 0:53:48But with her recent self-harming,

0:53:48 > 0:53:53Beth's unsure that she's done enough to convince them she is ready to go home.

0:53:55 > 0:53:58Not all three of you are talking to me, are you?

0:53:58 > 0:54:03- Shall I pull out?- Yeah. - All right, that's fine.

0:54:03 > 0:54:06I'm in CP, anyway, so if you have any questions when you get back...

0:54:06 > 0:54:10Have you got a discharge date? Because that's what I want out of it.

0:54:10 > 0:54:12- Have I?! Soon?!- Yes.

0:54:14 > 0:54:16Like, this week?

0:54:16 > 0:54:18What's my discharge date?

0:54:18 > 0:54:21What's my discharge...? Is it this week?

0:54:23 > 0:54:2712 days later, and Beth is finally going home.

0:54:32 > 0:54:36It's been six months since she first arrived at the McGuinness Unit.

0:54:39 > 0:54:42'I got taken off my section on Thursday,'

0:54:42 > 0:54:45and then today I'm going.

0:54:49 > 0:54:51In some ways, it did save my life,

0:54:51 > 0:54:57because I wasn't really well when I first came.

0:54:57 > 0:55:02But I won't miss these hospital blankets. Disgusting!

0:55:04 > 0:55:06'I'm stronger than I thought I was.'

0:55:06 > 0:55:13I thought that the only way to stop all, like, things in my head

0:55:13 > 0:55:17was to just give up and get rid of me, and kill myself.

0:55:17 > 0:55:20But now I've learnt that you don't have to do that.

0:55:20 > 0:55:24You just need to talk and be more open, and communicate with people.

0:55:24 > 0:55:26And that's how you can get better.

0:55:32 > 0:55:34- See you later, Beth.- See you!

0:55:39 > 0:55:41Well done!

0:55:41 > 0:55:43See you out and about.

0:55:43 > 0:55:44I'm going to cry.

0:55:47 > 0:55:50Bye, Stephen. Try not to get killed, yeah?

0:55:50 > 0:55:53I'll try, I'll try my best. I'll try my best.

0:55:54 > 0:55:57Bye, guys! Bye, Michaela!

0:55:58 > 0:56:00Who's looking?

0:56:03 > 0:56:04Bye.

0:56:16 > 0:56:19After four weeks in an adult unit,

0:56:19 > 0:56:23Matty is now living at home and back at college.

0:56:24 > 0:56:27George spent a short time at a unit in Surrey.

0:56:27 > 0:56:28He's back at his family home,

0:56:28 > 0:56:31waiting to start his new school in September,

0:56:31 > 0:56:34and playing rugby again.

0:56:34 > 0:56:36Beth plans to return to college,

0:56:36 > 0:56:38and is back competing in dance competitions.

0:56:38 > 0:56:41Although she is finding it difficult to maintain her target weight,

0:56:41 > 0:56:44she has not self-harmed since leaving the unit.

0:57:00 > 0:57:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd