Maureen Lipman

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:03For the first time in Britain

0:00:03 > 0:00:08there are more people over the age of 60 than under 16.

0:00:08 > 0:00:09You are 83.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11100 years on this earth.

0:00:11 > 0:00:14You've got some amazing volunteers in their 80s and 90s.

0:00:14 > 0:00:17But what does growing older mean to you?

0:00:17 > 0:00:19Difficult, sometimes more than other times.

0:00:19 > 0:00:22I don't think you should be nervous about getting old.

0:00:22 > 0:00:24- Yeah.- It's a wonderful state.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26Our team is getting to the bottom

0:00:26 > 0:00:29of the key ageing concerns that you've told us about.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Deciding when to retire.

0:00:33 > 0:00:34Being more sociable.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37Keeping healthy.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Making your voice heard.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43Or the cost of happiness.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46And even if you haven't yet reached your golden years,

0:00:46 > 0:00:48it's never too early to start planning.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51So, whether you're an old dog or a young pup,

0:00:51 > 0:00:53get ready to learn some new tricks

0:00:53 > 0:00:56as we lift the lid on holding back the years.

0:01:03 > 0:01:09Today more than 3.6 million people aged over 65 live on their own,

0:01:09 > 0:01:12which means getting out and about is essential

0:01:12 > 0:01:15if you're to meet people and stay social.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17But it's not always easy.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20That's why in this episode I want to show you how it can be done

0:01:20 > 0:01:24by meeting those Brits who are refusing

0:01:24 > 0:01:26to be left on life's platform,

0:01:26 > 0:01:29'whether that is by volunteering...'

0:01:29 > 0:01:30We've got two tins of baked beans.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33Don't eat them all at once because you know what will happen.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35'..learning a new skill...'

0:01:35 > 0:01:38..le Petit Chapeau Rouge.

0:01:38 > 0:01:39Oh, I'm sorry, I've got to do that again.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42Retake, please. Make-up!

0:01:42 > 0:01:45'..or even just hanging out with the boys.'

0:01:46 > 0:01:48I am a Lipman in the shed. Ooh.

0:01:49 > 0:01:50So, grab your coats,

0:01:50 > 0:01:54because you're about to come on a grand day out with me.

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Come on, keep me company.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Thank you.

0:02:04 > 0:02:08But first, let me tell you why this subject means so much to me.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10I was married for over 30 years

0:02:10 > 0:02:13to the playwright Jack Rosenthal

0:02:13 > 0:02:17when, 13 years ago, I lost him to myeloma

0:02:17 > 0:02:19and found myself in a new country

0:02:19 > 0:02:21where I really didn't know the rules,

0:02:21 > 0:02:25and my future suddenly didn't look so certain.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27It was tempting to close the door on the world

0:02:27 > 0:02:30and retreat into isolation,

0:02:30 > 0:02:34but for me the answer to staying social was work,

0:02:34 > 0:02:37and I'm lucky to be in a business where I can meet new people

0:02:37 > 0:02:39with every new job,

0:02:39 > 0:02:42but I'm aware this isn't an option for most people.

0:02:43 > 0:02:48I'm very aware that my life experience is not anybody else's.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51I've had a very lucky life on the whole.

0:02:51 > 0:02:56I want to find out what people of my generation,

0:02:56 > 0:03:02baby boomers and before, do to stay connected, to stay sociable,

0:03:02 > 0:03:04to keep their lives moving on.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06And what better place to find out

0:03:06 > 0:03:09than in my home city of Kingston upon Hull,

0:03:09 > 0:03:11where they call a spade...

0:03:11 > 0:03:13a shovel.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17Loneliness in old age has always been known as the hidden killer,

0:03:17 > 0:03:20with lack of social interaction strongly linked to depression,

0:03:20 > 0:03:24malnutrition and even Alzheimer's disease,

0:03:24 > 0:03:26and it's always been with us.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30I get lonely, very lonely.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33I've got lonely ever since my husband died, really.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39We used to have neighbours coming in for a drink, you know.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42How long is it since you had a neighbour come in for a drink now?

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Oh, they don't come in now.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49At the weekend, for example, does anyone come to see you?

0:03:49 > 0:03:50No.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54But if you're thinking it's a rare phenomenon these days,

0:03:54 > 0:03:55then think again.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59Estimates say that as many as 10% of Britain's elderly

0:03:59 > 0:04:02experience extreme loneliness,

0:04:02 > 0:04:06but I'm here to show you that it doesn't have to be that way.

0:04:08 > 0:04:12Now, don't laugh, but the first stop I'm taking you on our grand day out

0:04:12 > 0:04:17is a place that provides an invaluable service for older people

0:04:17 > 0:04:19who want to get out of the house and have a bit of company -

0:04:19 > 0:04:23the Darby and Joan club, which has been around for a while.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27- NEWSREEL:- The grand old people of Streatham,

0:04:27 > 0:04:29the old-age pensioners of the district,

0:04:29 > 0:04:32have been provided with a snug little refuge all their own

0:04:32 > 0:04:34with the opening of the Darby and Joan club,

0:04:34 > 0:04:37believed to be the first of its kind in Great Britain.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Today, these clubs are run

0:04:39 > 0:04:42by Her Majesty's Royal Voluntary Service,

0:04:42 > 0:04:46helping over 100,000 people a month to have a lovely time.

0:04:47 > 0:04:52But here's the twist, the volunteers are almost as old, if not older,

0:04:52 > 0:04:54than those they serve.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56So I'm meeting a few of them,

0:04:56 > 0:04:59like 81-year-old Jennifer, who's in charge.

0:04:59 > 0:05:03She's been a volunteer for an incredible 39 years.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Well, I get a lot of pleasure from meeting all the people

0:05:06 > 0:05:09and I also find it really structures my week.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11- Yes.- The Friday.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Yes, it gives me a purpose in life, yes.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18I notice, of course, that the ratio of women to men is a bit staggering.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Yes.- I've counted six men so far.

0:05:20 > 0:05:23- Yes.- Do they get mobbed?

0:05:25 > 0:05:27No.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30We have in the past had some marriages from here.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32- Have you? - Yes, but not for quite some time.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Well, actually, little Gladys, who is 100,

0:05:34 > 0:05:36she married somebody from here.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Really?- Yes.- A second marriage? - Third, it was, for her.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Ooh. Gladys.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Well, she's got something that's kept her going for 100 years.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Dorothy, meanwhile, has been here even longer.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Dorothy, I know that you're just over 90.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56- Yes.- And that you've been here for how long?

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- 40 years. - In a way, it's a panacea.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01It is a sort of a therapy, isn't it?

0:06:01 > 0:06:02- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05Yes, well, you realise that you may have problems,

0:06:05 > 0:06:09but they're not nearly as bad as a lot of the people that come here.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13And Joyce even longer still.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15May I ask how old you are?

0:06:15 > 0:06:16I'm 92.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19So a lot of people might think,

0:06:19 > 0:06:22"She should be sitting there having her dinner brought to her,"

0:06:22 > 0:06:25but you're doing the work.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28But these three are only the tip of a very big iceberg.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31At last count, the Royal Voluntary Service boasted

0:06:31 > 0:06:36over 35,000 volunteers dedicated to helping senior citizens

0:06:36 > 0:06:40remain independent while staying social.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42And whether it's visiting them in hospital,

0:06:42 > 0:06:45going down the shops or popping around for a cuppa,

0:06:45 > 0:06:48every year they make some 90,000 journeys

0:06:48 > 0:06:50on behalf of Britain's elderly.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53But, get this - it benefits them too,

0:06:53 > 0:06:56because there is evidence to suggest that volunteering

0:06:56 > 0:06:57is good for your own health,

0:06:57 > 0:07:02as the Royal Voluntary Service's national boss is keen to stress.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04I mean, you've got some amazing volunteers who today,

0:07:04 > 0:07:08but, like, 80s and 90s, you think, "They should be sitting down",

0:07:08 > 0:07:09but they're not. They are serving others.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Well, they're not, but, see, I'm not sure I agree

0:07:12 > 0:07:14that the answer is young volunteers,

0:07:14 > 0:07:18because for me the people who are in their 70s and 80s and 90s

0:07:18 > 0:07:20that are coming here and volunteering,

0:07:20 > 0:07:24that's as important as those people who are being served lunch

0:07:24 > 0:07:28by our volunteers, because there is very, very clear evidence

0:07:28 > 0:07:32from a professor in Manchester that being a volunteer

0:07:32 > 0:07:36helps you live longer, be physically better

0:07:36 > 0:07:38and mentally better.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40SONG: Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans

0:07:43 > 0:07:46There is something of a wartime spirit about this place,

0:07:46 > 0:07:49and that's no real surprise given its history.

0:07:49 > 0:07:54The Royal Voluntary Service started off as the Women's Voluntary Service

0:07:54 > 0:07:59back in 1938 and it was part of keeping the home front going.

0:07:59 > 0:08:03Their first line of defence, a good cup of tea.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Wherever men work over here, it's tea they want.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12The WVS brings the tea to them.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16Next to blood, it's Britain's most precious liquid.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Over the years, they have evolved into an organisation

0:08:21 > 0:08:25that helps older people stay in touch with the wider society,

0:08:25 > 0:08:29especially through its pioneering Meals On Wheels service.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33There is a private as well as a public conscience

0:08:33 > 0:08:35about old people who live alone.

0:08:35 > 0:08:40For the few the short-handed Meals On Wheels volunteers can visit,

0:08:40 > 0:08:42the brief company of someone they know

0:08:42 > 0:08:45and a meal ready to eat are a double godsend.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49Today, using food as their way into people's lives

0:08:49 > 0:08:51is a philosophy that David believes

0:08:51 > 0:08:53is still at the heart of their mission.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57About five years ago we started the campaign to end loneliness,

0:08:57 > 0:08:59because it's a kind of hidden disease.

0:08:59 > 0:09:04We know there are very clear medical stats that say chronic loneliness

0:09:04 > 0:09:09is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11And that sounds slightly strange,

0:09:11 > 0:09:14but if you think about it, we're sociable people.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16We are programmed to be with others.

0:09:16 > 0:09:21There's a lot of talk at the moment about the NHS and social care

0:09:21 > 0:09:26and funding, but the reality is most older people don't need nurses,

0:09:26 > 0:09:29they don't need social workers, they don't need care homes,

0:09:29 > 0:09:30they need somebody to talk to,

0:09:30 > 0:09:33they need a reason to get out of the house in the morning.

0:09:35 > 0:09:39OK, well, I think it's time I stopped chatting and got serving.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Who knows, it might take a few years off me as well!

0:09:41 > 0:09:44My name is Maureen and I'm really happy to serve you.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Oh, lovely.- And...

0:09:46 > 0:09:48INAUDIBLE

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Yes, you are. Have a nice day.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54'At last it's time for me to take the weight off my feet

0:09:54 > 0:09:58'and have a natter, which is the real reason for being here.'

0:09:58 > 0:10:00So, come on, gang, tell me,

0:10:00 > 0:10:03what do you get out of coming here every Friday?

0:10:03 > 0:10:06It means it's somewhere I can bring my wife out to,

0:10:06 > 0:10:10because I'm more concerned about her mixing with people.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Right, which one of these gorgeous women is your wife?

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Sat at the next table.- Oh, is she?

0:10:15 > 0:10:18So you want mixing with people, but not with you!

0:10:18 > 0:10:22Do you come here, Edna, for the food or the company or for both?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24For both. Yes.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26You have a feeling when you're here

0:10:26 > 0:10:28you're being well looked after

0:10:28 > 0:10:30during that period of time that you're here.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34Do you think it's harder to make friends when you're older?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37Yes. I think it is. And if you're in a flat on your own,

0:10:37 > 0:10:39it can get a bit lonely.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43I don't like to say it in front of these gentlemen,

0:10:43 > 0:10:45but you can get a bit fed up with television.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Lunch over, time for the dishes to be done...

0:10:50 > 0:10:53which, not having brought my rubber gloves with me,

0:10:53 > 0:10:56I'm quite keen to avoid, if you don't mind.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59'So give me the microphone, there's a raffle to be run.'

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Number 16.

0:11:02 > 0:11:06Ladies and gentlemen, I am your raffle drawer for the day.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Ooh.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12We've got tuna chunks and we've got a packet of biscuits.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14What's that blue tin over there?

0:11:14 > 0:11:15Tin of pork.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16No. A tin of pork?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Oh, I'm not talking about that, I don't do pork.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22'You can feel the anticipation in the room.'

0:11:22 > 0:11:27Right, and the winner of any of these fabulous prizes is 188.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31'While my glamorous assistant Veronica hands out the prizes,

0:11:31 > 0:11:35'strangely not even the lucky winners seem to want the sardines.'

0:11:35 > 0:11:37She doesn't want the sardines.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41She's going to give her the sardines whether she wants them or not.

0:11:41 > 0:11:46I think my presentation skills have won them over, you know?

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Someone even wants my autograph.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50I do hope they don't think I'm Angela Rippon.

0:11:57 > 0:11:58But do you know something?

0:11:58 > 0:12:02This has been an afternoon I really won't forget for a long time.

0:12:03 > 0:12:04That was so enjoyable.

0:12:06 > 0:12:11Volunteers, some of whom are older than their guests,

0:12:11 > 0:12:14who go away feeling as if they have contributed...

0:12:15 > 0:12:19..to society, as if they've had a laugh.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23It's quite wonderful what they're doing,

0:12:23 > 0:12:26and I just wonder who are the next set of volunteers.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Where are they going to come from?

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Because we are all working longer and longer hours

0:12:30 > 0:12:33just to stay where we are in life.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37How do you put it across to people

0:12:37 > 0:12:42that Darby and Joan used to be Jack and Jill?

0:12:42 > 0:12:44One thing I really noticed at lunch was just how much

0:12:44 > 0:12:46the women outnumbered the men,

0:12:46 > 0:12:50which, according to stats, is actually a nationwide trend.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Studies show men find it harder than women to make new friends

0:12:53 > 0:12:56when widowed or divorced late in life

0:12:56 > 0:12:58and are more likely to feel isolated.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02Not that it's a modern phenomenon, by any means.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Mr Broughton is a lonely man.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08His wife left him 31 years ago.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10You're not living, you're existing.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16I'm not clear yet as to what kind of help you would like to get.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18The ordinary good old neighbour saying,

0:13:18 > 0:13:22"Hello, how you getting on? Aren't you dead yet?"

0:13:22 > 0:13:26So how do things compare today in 2017?

0:13:26 > 0:13:27Have things moved on at all?

0:13:27 > 0:13:29- Hello.- Hello. - Nice to meet you.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31I've come to meet Mike Archer,

0:13:31 > 0:13:33who, after the break-up of his marriage,

0:13:33 > 0:13:36knew the impact of loneliness first-hand.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41I've been living by myself for 20 years.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Mm-hmm. You were married for how long?

0:13:43 > 0:13:4525 years.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48- Bar the month.- Bar a month.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50That was the month, that was the one month.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53- OK.- I'm longer single than married.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Right. Did you imagine that it would be so difficult

0:13:56 > 0:13:59to get used to your own company, a single man?

0:13:59 > 0:14:02The beginning, it was very, very lonely.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04I spent two years never going out,

0:14:04 > 0:14:08because you do tend to stay round the house.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11You've got to find something to more or less interest yourself

0:14:11 > 0:14:13and snap you out of it, like.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17And that something for Mike turned out to be his love of making stuff,

0:14:17 > 0:14:20which he discovered was a passion shared

0:14:20 > 0:14:22by some other blokes in the area,

0:14:22 > 0:14:25which is why they joined together to form the Hull branch

0:14:25 > 0:14:31of a nationwide organisation called Men In Sheds.

0:14:31 > 0:14:32Now, when I think of sheds,

0:14:32 > 0:14:35what comes to mind is chilly wooden huts

0:14:35 > 0:14:38filled with clutter and blokes with beards.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Women should be seen, but only peripherally.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47But the shed that Mike visits is a different beast entirely.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50It's a fully kitted-out, fully powered-up,

0:14:50 > 0:14:54fully health-and-safety man space.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Old girls like me are very welcome indeed.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00So I've popped along with Mike to see some of the men

0:15:00 > 0:15:02handling their tools.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I bet you didn't expect to see that at this hour of the day.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07OK, so, I'm a man, I've come along,

0:15:07 > 0:15:09I've never picked up a screwdriver in my life -

0:15:09 > 0:15:13this is all true apart from the bit about me being a man -

0:15:13 > 0:15:17what would you...? How would you help me to start?

0:15:17 > 0:15:20We find challenging things to make.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Maybe something like that.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26Could I make a dinosaur for my grandson

0:15:26 > 0:15:27whose birthday it is today?

0:15:27 > 0:15:29Is it?

0:15:29 > 0:15:33Very good. Yes, certainly, we can knock a dinosaur together, yes.

0:15:33 > 0:15:34Let's do it. OK.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36So, I turn it on here number one.

0:15:36 > 0:15:37You turn it on here.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40What you're doing, you're lining them two holes there

0:15:40 > 0:15:43to put the drill through, so if you take the back...

0:15:43 > 0:15:44I'm going to just lightly hold it.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47- Just lightly hold it down.- Yeah? - Keep coming down on that.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55I'm taking to it now, I'm getting to like this.

0:15:55 > 0:15:59Oh, look at that. Is that, like, a perfect hole?

0:15:59 > 0:16:01I mean, you know, makes you wonder

0:16:01 > 0:16:04why I haven't been doing it all my life, doesn't it?

0:16:04 > 0:16:05So what we do now,

0:16:05 > 0:16:09we put the dowels in, if you just put it down there like that.

0:16:09 > 0:16:10Right. There you are.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12That's basically your dinosaur.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15I am a woman... I am a Lipman in a shed.

0:16:15 > 0:16:16Ooh.

0:16:18 > 0:16:22That's lovely. Now, you see, I've made my first dinosaur,

0:16:22 > 0:16:25and now you see why the dinosaur is extinct.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28While a few of the guys have a bite to eat and a cuppa,

0:16:28 > 0:16:30I have noticed that so far

0:16:30 > 0:16:33this isn't my most glamorous TV assignment.

0:16:33 > 0:16:39Well, Joanna Lumley gets Egypt, Michael Palin gets Antarctica,

0:16:39 > 0:16:40I get a shed in Hull.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43Nothing wrong with that.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Of course, not everyone wants to spend time in a shed.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53No matter how splendid it is.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55But this is more about having a hobby,

0:16:55 > 0:17:00which health researchers say aids mental and physical wellbeing.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04So are the blokes in here feeling that benefit?

0:17:04 > 0:17:08I can see that you're doing these beautiful turned wood pens.

0:17:08 > 0:17:12- Oh, yes.- So the work is very rewarding. What else?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14If the only other thing you've got, really, is to go down the pub...

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Yeah.- ..you know, and if you don't really get

0:17:17 > 0:17:19company there, then, you know...?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Here, when you walk through the door,

0:17:21 > 0:17:23you're going to have somebody talking to you.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25If you're down, somebody's going to pick you up a bit, you know.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27I was sat at home doing nothing.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Right.- And it was actually the wife that said,

0:17:30 > 0:17:31"Have you seen this advert in the paper?

0:17:31 > 0:17:33"Do you want to go down and see what it's like?"

0:17:33 > 0:17:36- So...- Get out from under my feet while you're at it!

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Well, that sort of thing, yeah. Yeah.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39It's brilliant.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42- You can't think of nothing else. - Really?

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Dinosaurs to go.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48I've had such a good time in there.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51I expected an empty shed and lots of grumpy men,

0:17:51 > 0:17:56and what I found was companionship, love

0:17:56 > 0:18:00and something to contribute to society

0:18:00 > 0:18:02no matter how old you are.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06I think we need Women In Sheds, don't you?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08MUSIC: Happy Hour by The Housemartins

0:18:11 > 0:18:13So, are you having a grand day out with me?

0:18:13 > 0:18:15Good!

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Because science has proved that getting outdoors

0:18:17 > 0:18:20is essential for holding back the years.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22It's a great source of vitamin D, exercise

0:18:22 > 0:18:25and, of course, it helps us combat the stresses

0:18:25 > 0:18:28of being cooped up in our house all day on our own.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Of course, there's one guaranteed way of ensuring

0:18:30 > 0:18:34that you'll spend a bit of your time in the great outdoors.

0:18:34 > 0:18:35Get an animal.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38It's obvious, really.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41A pet needs to be walked, fed and entertained,

0:18:41 > 0:18:44which means they are the ideal way of getting some exercise,

0:18:44 > 0:18:45keeping the brain active

0:18:45 > 0:18:48and persuading you to get out into the open.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51And science shows it works too.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54According to studies, pets can help lower blood pressure,

0:18:54 > 0:18:59lessen depression, and people with pets visit the doctor

0:18:59 > 0:19:0320% less than others, which is maybe why I'm in quite good nick.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Yep, I'm a sucker for doggies.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10Of course, deciding to take on the responsibility of a pet

0:19:10 > 0:19:13in later life can be somewhat daunting.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16So I'm visiting the sort of place that could help.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19The Jerry Green Dog Kennels on the outskirts of Hull

0:19:19 > 0:19:23pairs elderly folk with the perfect dog for them.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25'I'm meeting the charity's boss, Jackie Bell.'

0:19:25 > 0:19:27What I'm getting, Jackie,

0:19:27 > 0:19:31is that this is a kind of a bespoke rescue centre.

0:19:31 > 0:19:36- It is.- You sort of specialise in fitting the right dog

0:19:36 > 0:19:38- to the right person. - We are really proud of that.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41We believe, and we genuinely believe this,

0:19:41 > 0:19:43we do believe that every dog that we've got,

0:19:43 > 0:19:45there is an owner out there for them.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47So we will make extra efforts to make sure

0:19:47 > 0:19:49that we get the match right.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51We won't make any assumptions, either.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54So for instance lots of rescues will say to an older person,

0:19:54 > 0:19:56"Oh, we've got a lovely older dog for you."

0:19:56 > 0:19:59Well, I'd be better for an older dog because I'm a lazy dog owner.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Actually, there's lots of older people who walk every day,

0:20:01 > 0:20:03really, really active.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06So from the point of view of someone who is solitary,

0:20:06 > 0:20:12maybe bereaved, maybe lonely, it's a wonderful idea.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Life-changing.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17We recognise, and there's so much evidence out there now,

0:20:17 > 0:20:20that dogs make such a difference to your quality of life.

0:20:20 > 0:20:21They do.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25Well, that's the theory, but how does it work in practice?

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Today, Ken Batty has brought Melody,

0:20:28 > 0:20:31who he got from the kennels last November,

0:20:31 > 0:20:34back in to discuss how they're both doing.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Here we are.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Hiya, Ken. Hiya, Melody. Hiya.

0:20:40 > 0:20:44Hello. How you doing? How you doing?

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Would you like to come through?

0:20:45 > 0:20:47We'll have a chat and see how you're getting on.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50- Excellent.- All right, thank you. Come on, then.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52- So how are you getting on? - Oh, beautiful.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54She's absolutely a joy to have.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57She is looking absolutely happy and lovely.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59It's wonderful to see. It was a good match, I think.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Oh, yeah.

0:21:01 > 0:21:02Have you got any concerns

0:21:02 > 0:21:04or anything that you need any help with?

0:21:04 > 0:21:08No, not really. She's come on leaps and bounds and, I mean,

0:21:08 > 0:21:12obviously I know that I can always ring you if anything does occur.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Ken divorced three years ago at the age of 61

0:21:19 > 0:21:21and he moved back to be with his mother,

0:21:21 > 0:21:24who sadly passed away over Christmas.

0:21:24 > 0:21:25He's invited me to his home

0:21:25 > 0:21:28to find out what a difference Melody has made.

0:21:30 > 0:21:35Why at this stage of your life, Ken, did you want a dog so badly?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Well, two years ago I was diagnosed with throat cancer.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39And I went through chemo and radiotherapy,

0:21:39 > 0:21:41which obviously took a lot out of me,

0:21:41 > 0:21:44and when I was on the road to recovery,

0:21:44 > 0:21:48the doctors advised me to do as much walking as I could possibly manage.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Walking by yourself is a bit boring.

0:21:50 > 0:21:52I thought I would quite like a companion,

0:21:52 > 0:21:55so this is why we got Melody.

0:21:55 > 0:21:56She's worked out absolutely brilliant.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Really?- I mean, I've had her three months now.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01- Yeah.- And my mother unfortunately passed away

0:22:01 > 0:22:03over the Christmas period, but, I mean,

0:22:03 > 0:22:08when she was still with us, I mean, Melody was the apple of her eye,

0:22:08 > 0:22:10she absolutely loved Melody and Melody loved her.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13So the two of you chose this dog together.

0:22:13 > 0:22:14So we chose the dog together.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17I mean, it becomes hard when you lose a parent,

0:22:17 > 0:22:19but it's also when you're living by yourself.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Yeah. - So with her being with me,

0:22:21 > 0:22:24I mean, she gives me the reason to get out of bed in the morning,

0:22:24 > 0:22:26because I have to take her for a walk

0:22:26 > 0:22:27and to take a walk in the night.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29I often take her out during the day as well.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33Yeah. And when you are feeling a bit low in yourself,

0:22:33 > 0:22:35maybe take two steps forward, one step back...

0:22:36 > 0:22:38..does she sort of know?

0:22:39 > 0:22:42I believe she does. I believe dogs are aware of that feeling.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44I mean, it's like...

0:22:44 > 0:22:46She'll go and sit on my mother's chair.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Which she used to sit on my mother's knee, so...

0:22:49 > 0:22:52But even though my mother's not there, she will...

0:22:52 > 0:22:56She won't spend long there but she will sometimes, for no reason whatsoever,

0:22:56 > 0:22:59just go and jump on there and curl up in a ball,

0:22:59 > 0:23:01and then after a few minutes she gets down.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04I look after her, she looks after me.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07She looks after my sanity and I look after her.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14For me, meeting Ken is proof that finding any sort of friendship

0:23:14 > 0:23:17is vital as we hold back the years.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20It doesn't have to be a human that gets you out of yourself.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Ken is on the road to recovery

0:23:22 > 0:23:26from the worst things that life can throw at you.

0:23:26 > 0:23:31And it's all down to having the right little fluffy person

0:23:31 > 0:23:33to talk to.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Now, it's always great to get back up home every now and then,

0:23:36 > 0:23:38especially at the moment,

0:23:38 > 0:23:41because Hull is currently the UK's City of Culture,

0:23:41 > 0:23:44and the place is buzzing with events, free of charge, open to all,

0:23:44 > 0:23:47so why not follow in my footsteps

0:23:47 > 0:23:50and actually come out for a day here in person?

0:23:50 > 0:23:53I'm a firm believer in the power of the arts

0:23:53 > 0:23:55in keeping the mind active.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58And studies consistently show that a busy, enquiring mind

0:23:58 > 0:24:00is a healthy mind.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03Mmm, she looks familiar.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05But there's another way to fill your life

0:24:05 > 0:24:07with a bit of sophisticated learning,

0:24:07 > 0:24:09which I'll tell you about in a moment.

0:24:09 > 0:24:10I just need to make a quick call.

0:24:12 > 0:24:13Anthony?

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Oh, congratulations on your exam results.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17'Now, while Beattie,

0:24:17 > 0:24:19'the character in those old award-winning ads,

0:24:19 > 0:24:23'was impressed at how her grandson had an ology,

0:24:23 > 0:24:27'today, it's the grandparents who are educating themselves.'

0:24:27 > 0:24:30An ology, he gets an ology, and he says he's failed!

0:24:30 > 0:24:34You get an ology, you're a scientist!

0:24:34 > 0:24:37The University of the Third Age is a nationwide organisation

0:24:37 > 0:24:43for older people to learn new subjects and skills in a social way.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45And when I say social, I mean social,

0:24:45 > 0:24:48because the classroom is often the pub.

0:24:48 > 0:24:53Today, I'm joining a group who are just getting down to their lesson.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56I have no idea what that is.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59But first, let's meet the person at the head of the class,

0:24:59 > 0:25:00organiser Helen.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03People join the U3A for lots of reasons.

0:25:03 > 0:25:09Erm, newly retired, newly bereaved, wanting to learn new things.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Mmm. - And wanting to make new friends.

0:25:11 > 0:25:16People come to me and say, "You've given me a zest back for life,

0:25:16 > 0:25:19"you've given me my life back." It's amazing.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22OK, well, time for me to get involved.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25And first up, I'm joining the French language class,

0:25:25 > 0:25:29who are attempting a version of a well-known children's fairy tale.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32"Grand-mere, tu as de grands yeux."

0:25:32 > 0:25:35'Hopefully, my acting skills will help with the lingo.'

0:25:35 > 0:25:36Bonjour, mes amis!

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Bienvenue!

0:25:40 > 0:25:45C'est possible pour moi d'avoir un part?

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Oh, dans notre piece?

0:25:47 > 0:25:49- Oui!- Oui?

0:25:49 > 0:25:51We've got just the part for you.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Qu'est-ce que le show?

0:25:53 > 0:25:56The wolf. Little Red Riding Hood.

0:25:56 > 0:25:57You could be the wolf.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01Oh! Great. I've got just the teeth for it!

0:26:01 > 0:26:04I did have, before I had them fixed!

0:26:04 > 0:26:08"..et elle quitte le chemin pour couper des fleurs,

0:26:08 > 0:26:10"frappe a sa porte."

0:26:10 > 0:26:12"Qui est la?

0:26:12 > 0:26:16"Ooh, c'est moi, le Petit Chapeau Rouge."

0:26:16 > 0:26:18I'm sorry, I've got to do that again.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Retake, please. Make-up!

0:26:21 > 0:26:24"..la grand-mere de son lit, pour..."

0:26:24 > 0:26:26'Hold on, is that it?'

0:26:26 > 0:26:27I've got no more lines.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Oh, no, I'm jacking this lot in!

0:26:29 > 0:26:30LAUGHTER

0:26:30 > 0:26:33'Maybe French isn't for me after all.'

0:26:33 > 0:26:36The great thing about this place is that it's nothing like

0:26:36 > 0:26:39what you might remember school to be like.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43No, the University of the Third Age puts the emphasis on interactivity,

0:26:43 > 0:26:48fun and sociability - plus subjects that are just plain fascinating,

0:26:48 > 0:26:52from the mysteries of ancient Egypt, bird-watching...

0:26:52 > 0:26:55I trust Bill Oddie will still be in India.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57..or how about a bit of belly dancing?

0:26:57 > 0:26:59And if you really want to stretch yourself,

0:26:59 > 0:27:01then how about some philosophy?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Hello, I'm a citizen of the Third Age,

0:27:04 > 0:27:05and I've come to join you.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08- What are you doing today? - We're doing philosophy.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Ooh! Why? Why? That's the question - why are you doing philosophy?

0:27:11 > 0:27:14- Because we love questions! - Ah-ha.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16We've been asking, what's the meaning of life?

0:27:16 > 0:27:19That's simple. Piece of cake!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21- You've got the answer for us! - Piece de gateau.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24It's about the search for meaning and the truth.

0:27:24 > 0:27:29The bird of truth only builds her nest

0:27:29 > 0:27:32in the branches of an open mind.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Should there be a meaning to life,

0:27:34 > 0:27:37before you start discussing the meaning of it?

0:27:37 > 0:27:41'Right, this could be a bit highbrow for me.'

0:27:41 > 0:27:45We're still no nearer a conclusion, are we,

0:27:45 > 0:27:46about what the meaning of life is, Elma?

0:27:46 > 0:27:48- What does...? - Well, I'm certainly not.

0:27:48 > 0:27:50No.

0:27:50 > 0:27:51'I'm with Elma on that.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54'But what about the meaning of what this place offers

0:27:54 > 0:27:56'to mature students? Any answers?'

0:27:56 > 0:27:59The U3A I think is something that a lot of people

0:27:59 > 0:28:03don't know enough about, that it isn't in fact a university,

0:28:03 > 0:28:05it is a social group.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09We don't write things down, we don't do exams at the end of it,

0:28:09 > 0:28:12which is a good thing - I wouldn't be here if we did!

0:28:12 > 0:28:13LAUGHTER

0:28:17 > 0:28:19I hope you're enjoying our day out together.

0:28:19 > 0:28:21It's been fun so far, hasn't it?

0:28:21 > 0:28:24I think we're seeing at first hand the positive impact

0:28:24 > 0:28:26staying social has on people's lives,

0:28:26 > 0:28:29but you do know, old people don't just have to hang out

0:28:29 > 0:28:31with other old people, do they?

0:28:31 > 0:28:34Today, in my opinion, the generations don't mix

0:28:34 > 0:28:36with each other enough.

0:28:36 > 0:28:40But that's not true of the place I'm going to next - the bingo.

0:28:42 > 0:28:4340.

0:28:43 > 0:28:47Looking around here, you can see how it's all ages mixing and having fun.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49So, for someone like Mavis,

0:28:49 > 0:28:52it's been an opportunity to meet a new best friend, Lesley,

0:28:52 > 0:28:5421 years her junior.

0:28:54 > 0:28:57And are you friends from a long time back, or new friends?

0:28:57 > 0:28:59No, I met her here.

0:28:59 > 0:29:01And how did you meet Lesley?

0:29:01 > 0:29:05Well, I was getting a drink of water at the water button over there.

0:29:05 > 0:29:09And Lesley came up to me and said...

0:29:09 > 0:29:11"I hope you don't mind me saying," but she said,

0:29:11 > 0:29:15"you always look lovely and you always look very glamorous."

0:29:15 > 0:29:17- Very beautiful.- And beautiful.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20- Beautiful.- I don't know about beautiful, but...

0:29:20 > 0:29:24So, I thought that was really nice, and that's how we became friends.

0:29:24 > 0:29:26What made you say that?

0:29:26 > 0:29:28Because I'd...

0:29:28 > 0:29:30I'd always seen her here and every time I saw her,

0:29:30 > 0:29:33she reminded me a bit of my mother.

0:29:33 > 0:29:36Because my mother used to look like Mavis.

0:29:36 > 0:29:38And I just couldn't help it but tell her

0:29:38 > 0:29:41that she was always beautiful, which...

0:29:41 > 0:29:44And glamorous, and dressed really well - I couldn't help it.

0:29:44 > 0:29:47I'm one of these, I'll make sure that nobody else

0:29:47 > 0:29:50- has to be lonely, either. - Right.- I'm like that.

0:29:50 > 0:29:53- Yeah.- I became friends with Mave,

0:29:53 > 0:29:56and then that was it, she was stuck with me,

0:29:56 > 0:29:58because I wouldn't leave her alone!

0:29:58 > 0:30:01Because age doesn't matter - in a bingo hall,

0:30:01 > 0:30:03age doesn't matter at all.

0:30:03 > 0:30:07You get them all coming in from 18, you see all these young 'uns,

0:30:07 > 0:30:12they all come over, they'll sit and talk to you, all friendly.

0:30:12 > 0:30:14Does the winning matter to you?

0:30:14 > 0:30:16Oh, it does to me, but I never win!

0:30:17 > 0:30:19It really does, but I never win!

0:30:19 > 0:30:22Well, I was very lucky two years ago.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25I won £25,000.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27And do you know what, Maureen,

0:30:27 > 0:30:29then I became her bestest, bestest friend!

0:30:32 > 0:30:35I'll be honest, I didn't really want to come here.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39I've never been to bingo in my life, I had no idea what to expect.

0:30:39 > 0:30:41But as a pretentious middle-class girl,

0:30:41 > 0:30:43my impressions of it come from the '50s and '60s,

0:30:43 > 0:30:46when it was seen as a bit lower class -

0:30:46 > 0:30:49a game played in smoke-filled rooms, and even on trains!

0:30:49 > 0:30:53But the truth is that by the '80s, people were cottoning on to the fact

0:30:53 > 0:30:57that bingo could offer people, and particularly older people,

0:30:57 > 0:31:00more than just a good night out.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02Bingo is a Great British institution,

0:31:02 > 0:31:06and it's a Swedish professor who's making bingo respectable.

0:31:06 > 0:31:10He says pensioners go senile sitting at home drinking tea.

0:31:10 > 0:31:13Bingo keeps the brain working and keeps the old 'uns young,

0:31:13 > 0:31:15and English pensioners agree.

0:31:15 > 0:31:18Well, it keeps us active, don't it?!

0:31:18 > 0:31:20We keep coming.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22- Give us a kiss.- What do you mean, it keeps you active?

0:31:22 > 0:31:24You're not even man and wife, are you?

0:31:24 > 0:31:25No!

0:31:25 > 0:31:27Today, bingo is big business,

0:31:27 > 0:31:31worth over £1 billion in the UK alone.

0:31:31 > 0:31:34There are 750,000 visits to bingo halls each week,

0:31:34 > 0:31:37with nearly three million regular players,

0:31:37 > 0:31:41which makes it the perfect place for anyone wanting to be social,

0:31:41 > 0:31:44and a great opportunity for all the ages to mix.

0:31:44 > 0:31:48So there you go - I've had my own prejudices shattered today,

0:31:48 > 0:31:50I'm even giving it a go myself.

0:31:50 > 0:31:52Oh, what would my kids say?!

0:31:52 > 0:31:53SHE CHUCKLES

0:31:55 > 0:31:5768, six and eight, 68...

0:31:57 > 0:32:01For some, however, it's more than a game, it's a life-saver.

0:32:01 > 0:32:0678-year-old Val lost her second husband, Peter, four years ago.

0:32:06 > 0:32:07How long had you been married?

0:32:07 > 0:32:10Oh, not very long, 12 years.

0:32:10 > 0:32:11He was my second husband.

0:32:11 > 0:32:12- Right.- Yes.

0:32:12 > 0:32:15But he was the loveliest man, he really was lovely.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17And where did you meet him?

0:32:17 > 0:32:20Walking, we used to go walking in the hills, you know.

0:32:20 > 0:32:21So you'd already lost your husband?

0:32:21 > 0:32:23- No, I didn't.- You were divorced. - No, we divorced.

0:32:23 > 0:32:26- Yeah, that...- And then you found the love of your life.

0:32:26 > 0:32:29I did, and he was so beautiful to me, he was really lovely.

0:32:29 > 0:32:32He sort of half went when he had Alzheimer's...

0:32:32 > 0:32:35- Yes.- He wasn't the same man, but he was...

0:32:35 > 0:32:37- No, he wasn't.- And then, when there was no-one there,

0:32:37 > 0:32:38what did the house feel like?

0:32:38 > 0:32:42Terrible. Oh, it was lonely, and really...

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Really sad... You know, sadness.

0:32:44 > 0:32:46- Making me feel...- Yeah. Yeah, no, don't...

0:32:46 > 0:32:47It's sad, isn't it, yeah?

0:32:47 > 0:32:49I wasn't maybe too fussed at first, but I thought,

0:32:49 > 0:32:52"Right, get yourself out of this, you've got to try.

0:32:52 > 0:32:55"You've got your children, you've got to try and get out of it."

0:32:55 > 0:32:58And so, with the help of her daughters Sue and Amanda,

0:32:58 > 0:33:02a trip to the bingo was Val's first step to getting over loneliness.

0:33:02 > 0:33:06My daughters bring me, and they've got friends here as well.

0:33:06 > 0:33:08They're such good girls,

0:33:08 > 0:33:12and they make me go places which I wouldn't go normally.

0:33:12 > 0:33:15So, you've got to be social, haven't you, in your life?

0:33:15 > 0:33:16- But it's hard.- Yes.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19'To help Val get over her loss,

0:33:19 > 0:33:23'she's also taken up something for the first time in her 70s - poetry.

0:33:23 > 0:33:27'And she's written about her husband's illness.'

0:33:27 > 0:33:30I remember when he was So handsome and strong

0:33:30 > 0:33:34We would walk hand-in-hand And sing a love song

0:33:34 > 0:33:38He would say how he loved me How I filled him with joy

0:33:38 > 0:33:40Those days are all gone now

0:33:40 > 0:33:42My strong, handsome boy

0:33:44 > 0:33:46I'll love you forever

0:33:46 > 0:33:50Though life's not the same As I go home alone

0:33:50 > 0:33:52Did you know that I came?

0:33:53 > 0:33:56'So I guess the motto is, when it comes to friendship,'

0:33:56 > 0:33:58you don't have to mind the age gap.

0:33:58 > 0:34:03In fact, unlike bingo, it's not about numbers at all.

0:34:03 > 0:34:05Do you see what I did there?

0:34:05 > 0:34:06You wouldn't get that on Channel 5.

0:34:06 > 0:34:09Ooh, bingo!

0:34:09 > 0:34:13Now, then, just one last go at winning that 25 grand.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15- 45, four and five, 45. - Oh, I got that.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19Six and eight, 68.

0:34:21 > 0:34:24I mean, I didn't want to come here,

0:34:24 > 0:34:27but I've found it absolutely fascinating.

0:34:27 > 0:34:30It's definitely not for me, I'm innumerate,

0:34:30 > 0:34:32so I literally couldn't keep up.

0:34:35 > 0:34:37So, would I come again?

0:34:40 > 0:34:43Maybe, if I had the right group of...

0:34:43 > 0:34:45If I had the right group of friends,

0:34:45 > 0:34:49and I got rid of my sort of basic snobbishness about the whole thing,

0:34:49 > 0:34:51and my loathing of gambling,

0:34:51 > 0:34:55I think it would be a bloody good night out, frankly.

0:34:55 > 0:34:58Well, it's coming near to the end of my grand day out,

0:34:58 > 0:35:01and so far, I've seen some great ways for people

0:35:01 > 0:35:03to stay social and avoid loneliness,

0:35:03 > 0:35:07but I haven't looked at the biggest source of company in older years -

0:35:07 > 0:35:09marriage.

0:35:09 > 0:35:12Over 70% of people over 60 are married,

0:35:12 > 0:35:15and it is something that can bring immense comfort,

0:35:15 > 0:35:17especially in old age.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20And that was the case for my mother and father,

0:35:20 > 0:35:23who were together for 47 years through thick and thin

0:35:23 > 0:35:25and lived in Hull all their lives.

0:35:25 > 0:35:28You could say they were tailor-made for one another.

0:35:28 > 0:35:31This is my father's shop, Maurice Lipman's,

0:35:31 > 0:35:33Gentlemen's Outfitters.

0:35:35 > 0:35:36But no Maurice Lipman.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40How to describe it? Somebody once came in the shop

0:35:40 > 0:35:42and asked for a particular kind of shirt.

0:35:42 > 0:35:46My father showed him the shirt, he said, "That's perfect, Mr Lipman.

0:35:46 > 0:35:48"Have you got it darker?" And he turned the light out.

0:35:50 > 0:35:51That was my dad.

0:35:54 > 0:35:58It wasn't a perfect marriage, but they were there for one another.

0:35:58 > 0:36:00And in the last 15 years of his life,

0:36:00 > 0:36:02my mother looked patiently after my dad

0:36:02 > 0:36:05when he lost his short-term memory.

0:36:06 > 0:36:11So I guess in the end, like Jack and I, they were a good team.

0:36:11 > 0:36:16And I want to end our grand day out by visiting another great team -

0:36:16 > 0:36:20a wonderful couple who've been married for over 60 years,

0:36:20 > 0:36:21Sylvia and Peter.

0:36:21 > 0:36:23As with all great love stories,

0:36:23 > 0:36:26we're starting right at the beginning.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30We was in, well, we was in a dance hall, the Regal Ballroom...

0:36:30 > 0:36:32Right. The Regal, I remember the Regal, yeah.

0:36:32 > 0:36:33Yeah. Oh, you remember the Regal?

0:36:33 > 0:36:36Yeah. I think I saw The Beatles at the Regal.

0:36:36 > 0:36:38Cinema at the bottom and ballroom at the top.

0:36:38 > 0:36:41Yeah. So, you started writing to each other after one meeting.

0:36:41 > 0:36:43- Wrote every day.- Every day!

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Every day, yeah.

0:36:45 > 0:36:47So, on one meeting, you knew, did you?

0:36:47 > 0:36:48Yeah.

0:36:48 > 0:36:50About seven months after, we was married,

0:36:50 > 0:36:54so he's exactly the same as when I first met him.

0:36:54 > 0:36:57- Handsome brute.- Handsome!

0:36:57 > 0:36:58Aw!

0:36:58 > 0:37:00You both look absolutely terrific.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04And soon, wedding bells were ringing.

0:37:04 > 0:37:08They got married on the 26th December 1956.

0:37:08 > 0:37:10'I would only have been ten at the time,

0:37:10 > 0:37:13'but it seems that my family did have a role to play

0:37:13 > 0:37:14'in the proceedings.'

0:37:14 > 0:37:18Look at you, you devil, you!

0:37:18 > 0:37:20That's the suit he made.

0:37:20 > 0:37:22- Suit who made?- Your father.

0:37:22 > 0:37:24My father made this suit?

0:37:24 > 0:37:27- Yeah.- Yeah.- Are you serious?

0:37:27 > 0:37:28Yes. Definitely, yeah.

0:37:28 > 0:37:32- From Maurice's Lipman's shop in... - Yeah.- ..Monument Bridge.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35I can't take it on board.

0:37:35 > 0:37:37First of all, I can't believe it was ready in time for the wedding,

0:37:37 > 0:37:40because my father was notorious!

0:37:40 > 0:37:43Somebody once came in and was so cross with him

0:37:43 > 0:37:45for not having a suit ready that they released a bag

0:37:45 > 0:37:48of live chickens in the shop on a Saturday!

0:37:48 > 0:37:49- Oh, no!- Yeah.

0:37:49 > 0:37:51And he got the stripe wrong down the side -

0:37:51 > 0:37:53it's yellow, but it should be red.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56So, he changed it for us specially, Christmas Day.

0:37:56 > 0:38:01Thank God he was Jewish and he would work on Christmas Day, hey?!

0:38:01 > 0:38:05That's an amazing thing to have revealed!

0:38:05 > 0:38:09After marriage, they did what couples do, and started a family.

0:38:09 > 0:38:12In their time, they had four children,

0:38:12 > 0:38:15who produced 15 grandchildren,

0:38:15 > 0:38:18and now nine great-grandchildren,

0:38:18 > 0:38:22all of whom fill their home with laughter and love.

0:38:22 > 0:38:24It's a very special set-up.

0:38:24 > 0:38:26So special, in fact, that on the morning

0:38:26 > 0:38:28of their 60th wedding anniversary,

0:38:28 > 0:38:31Sylvia and Peter got a very welcome card,

0:38:31 > 0:38:34from a lady who knows all about long marriages.

0:38:34 > 0:38:35That's fantastic.

0:38:36 > 0:38:40"I am so pleased to know that you are celebrating

0:38:40 > 0:38:47"your diamond wedding anniversary on 26th December 2016.

0:38:47 > 0:38:51"I send my congratulations to you on such a special occasion,

0:38:51 > 0:38:56"and would like to add my good wishes for a very happy Christmas.

0:38:56 > 0:38:59"Elizabeth R. Mr and Mrs Peter Wilson."

0:39:00 > 0:39:02Isn't that grand?

0:39:02 > 0:39:03It's lovely.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05If anything, Sylvia and Peter live a life

0:39:05 > 0:39:07that is the opposite of loneliness.

0:39:07 > 0:39:09It's jam-packed with people.

0:39:09 > 0:39:14And sometimes things can get so crowded, they need a bit of space,

0:39:14 > 0:39:19which is why their favourite hobby comes in handy - fishing.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21'And I'm going to join them to try and catch some tips

0:39:21 > 0:39:24'on staying together this long.'

0:39:24 > 0:39:26- Going fishing. - You got your rods?

0:39:29 > 0:39:32Getting through life and being soul mates,

0:39:32 > 0:39:34what's the most important thing, do you think?

0:39:34 > 0:39:37- Respect.- Respect? - Respect, yeah.- Yeah.

0:39:37 > 0:39:38You both agree on that?

0:39:38 > 0:39:41Yeah. Well, love, I think, mostly.

0:39:41 > 0:39:43We love each other, and always will.

0:39:43 > 0:39:46- Mmm.- Yeah. And as they say, trust.

0:39:46 > 0:39:48- Mmm.- That's a big part.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50- Mmm.- Breakfast in bed every morning.

0:39:50 > 0:39:51No?

0:39:51 > 0:39:53Yeah, I've had that from day one.

0:39:53 > 0:39:56You've got a good man here, you've got a new man.

0:39:56 > 0:39:57Did you help with the kids?

0:39:57 > 0:40:01- Oh, yeah.- Oh, all the time, yeah. Yeah.

0:40:01 > 0:40:03I've never known anything else, you know, it's...

0:40:03 > 0:40:05Do you fight?

0:40:05 > 0:40:07Now and again. But...

0:40:07 > 0:40:09- Do we what, sorry? - He's a very forgiving sort of man.

0:40:09 > 0:40:11No, not fight, we argue.

0:40:11 > 0:40:12- No, we argue.- But not fight.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15You don't sulk, that's the big thing, isn't it?

0:40:15 > 0:40:17- Well, she does!- Does she sulk?

0:40:17 > 0:40:19THEY LAUGH

0:40:19 > 0:40:20How long for?!

0:40:21 > 0:40:23- Not long, not long.- Not long.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25My dad used to sulk for weeks!

0:40:25 > 0:40:28What we get is, "Do you want a cup of tea?"

0:40:28 > 0:40:30- "No."- Yeah!

0:40:30 > 0:40:33Yeah. Who's the first to say sorry?

0:40:33 > 0:40:35- Me!- Yeah!

0:40:35 > 0:40:38'I really hope you're all taking notes on this at home!'

0:40:39 > 0:40:43You're just people who look on the best side of life, aren't you?

0:40:43 > 0:40:45- Yeah.- And I think that's what's really kept you

0:40:45 > 0:40:48young and kept you contented.

0:40:48 > 0:40:51- Yeah.- Because the glass is always half full.

0:40:51 > 0:40:54- Yeah.- You're absolutely brilliant.

0:40:54 > 0:40:57And you deserve a carp.

0:40:57 > 0:40:58Yeah, come on!

0:41:02 > 0:41:07Here are two people who just look on the good side of things.

0:41:07 > 0:41:11They're an example to us all - forbearance and love.

0:41:15 > 0:41:17So, there we have it.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19It's the end of our grand day out together,

0:41:19 > 0:41:22and time for me to head on back down south.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25I've learned a lot about the importance of staying social

0:41:25 > 0:41:28to holding back the years, and I hope you have too.

0:41:28 > 0:41:31Not only is it good for us mentally, but also physically.

0:41:31 > 0:41:36- Hiya.- Hiya. - Come on, then! Come on!- Hello!

0:41:36 > 0:41:39We can help each other and learn new skills.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42When they're enjoying it, I'm happy.

0:41:42 > 0:41:46All in all, it stops us from becoming fossilised old dinosaurs.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49Very nice, yeah.

0:41:49 > 0:41:50If you're in any doubt,

0:41:50 > 0:41:53there's one question I've asked everyone on this journey.

0:41:53 > 0:42:00On a scale of one to ten, how important is the company of others?

0:42:00 > 0:42:01It's about ten, I would...

0:42:01 > 0:42:02Nine or ten.

0:42:02 > 0:42:04I think it's neuf.

0:42:04 > 0:42:05Nine, ten.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07It's definitely nine and ten.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10- 12.- Is it 12?- 12.

0:42:11 > 0:42:15'The people I've met have inspired me to stay positive.

0:42:15 > 0:42:17'And that's not always easy for me.'

0:42:19 > 0:42:22I'm ending my journey back where it began,

0:42:22 > 0:42:25at the central station in Hull.

0:42:25 > 0:42:30A great city, of commerce, of culture,

0:42:30 > 0:42:31a poetic city.

0:42:31 > 0:42:36So, here I am standing in front of a statue which I unveiled

0:42:36 > 0:42:40of the poet Philip Larkin, who famously lived in Hull.

0:42:40 > 0:42:41Prince of negativity.

0:42:43 > 0:42:47He wrote a poem called The Old Fools, in which he said...

0:42:49 > 0:42:53"What do they think has happened to make them like this?

0:42:53 > 0:42:56"Why aren't they screaming?"

0:42:56 > 0:43:02Well, I think we've shown that the people of Hull are not screaming...

0:43:04 > 0:43:08..they're having fun, they're being sociable and adventurous,

0:43:08 > 0:43:10and full of humour.

0:43:10 > 0:43:13They're living.

0:43:13 > 0:43:15So there!

0:43:15 > 0:43:17# It's happy hour again

0:43:17 > 0:43:20# I think I might be happy if I wasn't out with them

0:43:20 > 0:43:23# And they're happy, it's a lovely place to be

0:43:23 > 0:43:27# Happy that the fire is real, the barman is a she

0:43:27 > 0:43:30# Where the haircuts smile And the meaning of style

0:43:30 > 0:43:32# Is a night out with the boss

0:43:32 > 0:43:35# Where you win or you lose And it's them who choose

0:43:35 > 0:43:38# And if you don't win then you've lost

0:43:38 > 0:43:40# What a good place to be... #