0:00:04 > 0:00:08There's a community of people in Britain that's growing every day.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11It's big - there are 2.5 million of us.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Breathe in and hold your breath.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15You may know some of us.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Perhaps you're a member yourself.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19We all have cancer.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22We're still happy. We know what's on the horizon.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25And we still have arguments, like a normal...
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Yeah, she still argues with me.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31That's right, there are 2.5 million of us living with cancer.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34And nearly 1,000 more join us every day.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37The biopsies show breast cancer.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- I thought they would. - I'm sorry for being so blunt.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41It's all right.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43But don't make the mistake of thinking
0:00:43 > 0:00:45a diagnosis is always a death sentence.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50Are you better now? I am, I feel better.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Now, for the first time, at least half of us will survive.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56I'm no way on t'way out, not for a long way.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58No.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00No, I'm not going anywhere yet.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04But then again, about half of us won't.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I said to the wife, "Do you think I'm going to die?"
0:01:07 > 0:01:09And she told me, "Don't be so bleeding stupid.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11"You're going to be here for ages."
0:01:11 > 0:01:14But I love you. Give us a kiss.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Shut up, stupid.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21It's time to ditch the hushed tones, the awkwardness.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Just to let you know that the steroid that we give, when it's going in,
0:01:25 > 0:01:27it can give you a bit of a prickly bottom.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28Oh, I see what you mean.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33We want to share what it's really like to live with cancer.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36You want to shout at people and say, "Can't you just stop,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38"because my world has stopped?"
0:01:39 > 0:01:44None of us has chosen to be here, but still, welcome to our world.
0:01:54 > 0:01:55Hello.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Do you want to come through here a second?
0:02:00 > 0:02:03So, if you just come and have a seat down by the desk.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Right, tell me your story.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08I've been poorly, feeling a bit off on Christmas Day.
0:02:10 > 0:02:15I'd been sick. The following day, I was feeling all right and everything.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17I went to the toilet, black stools,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20and thought, "I've got a problem, haven't I?"
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Any pain in your chest?
0:02:22 > 0:02:23Mm... no.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27- And what...- Only sore ribs with coughing.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28Whereabouts?
0:02:29 > 0:02:31- Here.- Both sides?
0:02:31 > 0:02:33So this is what you look like on the inside.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Your pancreas gland is this gland that's shaded.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38It's like a comma shape.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42- OK, and you've got something there. - Right.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44This lung looks normal here.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46This is what a lung is supposed to look like.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49But can you see there's an abnormal area...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51- Yeah.- Just there in the right lung?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Is it just like a little pocket of infection that's lingering?
0:02:54 > 0:02:58It could be. One of our concerns would be whether or not this could
0:02:58 > 0:03:00represent a type of cancer in the lung.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03OK.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10SHE LAUGHS
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Oh. Right.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15When you came with the lump in your breast,
0:03:15 > 0:03:19you had the test done to try and see what was the reason.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23They say it's not an innocent lump, they say it's a breast cancer.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27So what do we do next, then?
0:03:27 > 0:03:31We need to talk that through because those first few words take the wind
0:03:31 > 0:03:32out of people's sails.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36They took a little biopsy of that.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- Right.- And that has shown a neuroendocrine tumour.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41OK. Right.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Can I just ask something?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Go for it.- Is it benign or cancerous?
0:03:45 > 0:03:49So a neuroendocrine tumour is a type of cancer
0:03:49 > 0:03:52that's not the nasty type of pancreas cancer
0:03:52 > 0:03:54that you read about in the Daily Mail.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Right.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Well, wouldn't I have to have tests and things?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Well, so, we'd like to do some tests.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Oh... We're going on holiday next week.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09It may be, after the end of this,
0:04:09 > 0:04:13that it is just a batch of slowly resolving infection,
0:04:13 > 0:04:14and we hope it is.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15OK.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Could I ask you one question?
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Of course you can. - Is it going to kill me?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Oh, gee, there's a straight-out question.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26I don't know, but you have every reason to be hopeful that it can be
0:04:26 > 0:04:30sorted out, and you've every reason to be hopeful you can carry on
0:04:30 > 0:04:32just like you're doing.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34A friend of mine's had his breast off.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38Yes, and that's the type of operation that you're looking at.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- To have my breast off?- Yes.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Right, I don't... Will I be put to sleep, cos I don't want to go to sleep.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46And is there because of the fear of the anaesthetic?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Yes.- OK. All right, I understand that.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50OK.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52We need to work around that then.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Yeah. A bit of local...
0:04:54 > 0:04:56zip, zap, zop.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Seems good to me.- OK, sir.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- Take care of yourself. - Thank you very, very much.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- Thank you, cheers.- So what're we doing, kid?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05We're just going to see if that room's free.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08You'll get on very well if you call her kid.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10I'm young enough to be a kid.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18So you've got cancer.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Time stands still.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22There is no rule book.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26But there are millions already living with it.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Some are doing fine, others not so.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32But the one thing we all share, like it or not,
0:05:32 > 0:05:36is that memory of when cancer became the new normal.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40That first moment, you think, "Gosh, life's going to come to an end."
0:05:40 > 0:05:42You know.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48It just came out of the blue because I've never had a sick note in my life,
0:05:48 > 0:05:50never been off work or nothing.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I think I've had three days off in 35 years
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- and then this nonsense kicks in. - Oh, wow.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58It was on Freda's birthday.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- Yeah.- And they said to me, "Have you got anybody with you?"
0:06:03 > 0:06:06And I said, "Well, my wife's in the waiting room."
0:06:08 > 0:06:11I said to a friend once, you get diagnosed and it's like dying.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13And you get reborn
0:06:13 > 0:06:17with this disease, with this cancer.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Yeah, you do.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23The big C. It is a bit scary.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27It's the worst word in the dictionary, is cancer.
0:06:31 > 0:06:3355-year-old Dominic from Leeds
0:06:33 > 0:06:35is one of the very few men in the country
0:06:35 > 0:06:38diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Sometimes I think, "Why me?" and "It ain't fair,"
0:06:44 > 0:06:46but I've never looked after myself.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I've always smoked.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I've eaten millions of Chineses and Indian takeaways, and...
0:06:52 > 0:06:56never took proper exercise.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59You know what I mean? Odds on it were going to happen to me.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05I just want to kick on, live my life,
0:07:05 > 0:07:07fly my pigeons and see what happens.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Apart from my wife and kids, they're my life.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Seriously, you won't believe the friends and acquaintances
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I have through these pigeons.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Like a little clique of us, a little gang.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29We all get about together and stick together.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31'And stand up for each other.
0:07:31 > 0:07:32'It's pretty good.'
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- There they are.- Oh, they're here.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35Oh, yeah.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- This is annoying, isn't it? - What?
0:07:42 > 0:07:43That's pigeons for you.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45That's pigeons for you, yeah.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48Come on!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50HE WHISTLES
0:07:51 > 0:07:54What it is, with Mark, he's as straight as a die.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57He won't come in and say, "Oh, they're all right."
0:07:57 > 0:08:00He'd tell you if they were shit, they were shit, and if they were good,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03they were good. I know what his response is today.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- INTERVIEWER: What's your response? - Shit.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06They're shit.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Come on!
0:08:12 > 0:08:16I've had a couple of friends ring up that are giving me all the sympathy.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19It used to be, "Hey up, Fatty, what's they up to?"
0:08:20 > 0:08:22But now it's, "Oh, Dom,
0:08:23 > 0:08:24"I've heard you've got cancer, mate.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26"Are you all right, pal?"
0:08:26 > 0:08:28I don't want sympathy.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31I want to be up and laughing and joking
0:08:31 > 0:08:35and listening to people telling tales and having a laugh.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48The thing about cancer -
0:08:48 > 0:08:51it doesn't make us any different from who we were yesterday.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56We're not heroic or brave, and when we start treatment,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58our bodies are not battlefields.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02It's amazing, what goes on here.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05You do not realise.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06It's like when you go to the airport,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11you don't realise there is people going every day, buzzing here,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13flying there and doing...
0:09:13 > 0:09:16These places are going on all the time, aren't they?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18It's amazing how busy they are.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Amazing, amazing.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26You know, that's the thing that I think surprises a lot of people.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28- Oh, it does.- It's when you come here,
0:09:28 > 0:09:32how many other people are having treatment for cancer.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35It's not till you come that you realise.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37It's overwhelming, the first time you come.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39It is, yeah.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Can I ask you exactly what it was you had?
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Breast cancer.- Ah.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49I had breast cancer, yeah.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Mine's stomach.- Right.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Yeah, so you'll be on...- It's a bit daunting, when you think about it.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Well, it is.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I think being told you've got anything is, isn't it?
0:09:59 > 0:10:03When they explained what they were going to do, I said to him,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06"That's the end of the line."
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Well, you feel like that. - No, it's not. No, it's not.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Everybody keeps saying, "Margaret, you're strong,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13"you're strong," and I'm thinking...
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- "Am I?"- "No, I'm not." - Yeah, I know.
0:10:17 > 0:10:21It's hard not to feel lonely with this disease growing inside us.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25The world's a different place and it's easy to lose our bearings.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29But we try to cling on to what's important.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35MUSIC: Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
0:10:35 > 0:10:39# I used to think maybe you loved me
0:10:39 > 0:10:41# Now, baby, I'm sure... #
0:10:43 > 0:10:45In north Wales, there's a whole choir of people
0:10:45 > 0:10:48facing up to it in their own way.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51# ..when you knock on my door... #
0:10:54 > 0:10:59When you live with cancer, there is no right or wrong of living with it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I have the most horrendous days,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I'll have not too bad days.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09And there'll be up and down days, nobody-knows days.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Life has got to carry on.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14That's the thing, you see? Life has got to carry on, isn't it?
0:11:14 > 0:11:18# I'm walking on sunshine, whoa-oh
0:11:18 > 0:11:20# And don't it feel good?
0:11:20 > 0:11:23# Hey, ba-da-ba-ba ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba... #
0:11:27 > 0:11:30SHE SPEAKS WELSH
0:11:41 > 0:11:4448-year-old Sally, a mother of five,
0:11:44 > 0:11:47has been living with an aggressive form of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma
0:11:47 > 0:11:49for ten years.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53My husband and my children, I feel...
0:11:53 > 0:11:55I feel they get roughest ride of it all.
0:11:55 > 0:12:00SHE PLAYS A DOWNWARD SCALE
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Because, you know, they're looking at it every day.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07You know, it's staring them in the face every day.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10They get up every morning and, you know,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12it's the same thing facing you there, isn't it?
0:12:16 > 0:12:17It is hard for Robin.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21I think, when you are a farmer it's a very lonely life.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23It's just yourself.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29After countless treatments and periods of partial remission,
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Sally's cancer keeps coming back.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35The only possibility of a life-saving cure
0:12:35 > 0:12:38is a stem cell transplant using donated cells
0:12:38 > 0:12:40from a stranger's bone marrow.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Now, after waiting for more than a year,
0:12:52 > 0:12:54and a worldwide search of donor registries,
0:12:54 > 0:12:58a perfect match has been found in America.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00The Thursday before Easter,
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I had a phone call and it was Angie from the Christie's.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07VOICE BREAKING: I couldn't believe it.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09They'd actually found me a donor.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12In 24 hours,
0:13:12 > 0:13:14she's going into the Christie Hospital in Manchester
0:13:14 > 0:13:16to start the transplant procedure.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Dewi just held my hand.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21And he said,
0:13:21 > 0:13:23"Are you all right, Mum?"
0:13:23 > 0:13:27I said, "Yeah. They found me some really good medicine."
0:13:28 > 0:13:30And he said, "Oh, that's just brill, Mum."
0:13:30 > 0:13:33He said, "I don't mind you losing your hair,
0:13:33 > 0:13:35"because I like you without hair anyway."
0:13:37 > 0:13:40You know? I thought, "Oh, bloody great."
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Like so many of us,
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Sally and her family have experienced everything
0:13:56 > 0:13:58that cancer has got to throw at them.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00This time, she's going in prepared.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Oh, come on. Have a go.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Watch the brain.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Oh.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29That's another good job done.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- You don't look unwell. - No, she looks really well, yeah.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Mind you, this is my wig, you see, that helps.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50It's a really good one, though.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Yeah, but it's only a freebie.
0:15:51 > 0:15:56Just to let you know that the steroid that we give, when it's going in,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58it can give you a bit of a prickly bottom feeling.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- Wonderful(!)- As if you sat on a hedgehog.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Brilliant(!)- For about 30 seconds.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Oh, I see what you mean.- Yep.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10- It should ease off.- Oh, golly whiz.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12It's a strange feeling, isn't it?
0:16:12 > 0:16:13- Weird.- Yeah.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Can't walk about with my head.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19No, I can't.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23I still can't get used to seeing myself.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25I just...
0:16:25 > 0:16:26I jump.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28It's just a shock every time I see myself.
0:16:28 > 0:16:33No, no. My grandson saw it for the first time.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I showed him. He was so good.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39What he said to me is, "It's still you, Grandma."
0:16:39 > 0:16:40You're no different.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51I am doing my week's medication.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55I have to do it in a systematic way, because I get very easily distracted,
0:16:55 > 0:16:57and then I don't know where I am.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00So if I don't write a list, and if I don't follow the list,
0:17:01 > 0:17:04it can go horribly wrong.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Yvette, a dance teacher and performer,
0:17:07 > 0:17:10has been living with cancer for nearly 20 years.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15I was first diagnosed with breast cancer 19 years ago
0:17:15 > 0:17:19and I've had cancer twice subsequently.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22It then spread to my bones and lymph nodes,
0:17:22 > 0:17:26but it's been relatively stable for the past couple of years.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30INTERVIEWER: How do you feel about these drugs?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Well, you know, I think they serve a purpose and they're very good,
0:17:33 > 0:17:37but the medical profession treats physical symptoms and your body,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39but you have to...
0:17:39 > 0:17:42address everything else, as well.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44And there are so many people telling you what you should do.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Everybody's got an idea and they always say, "Oh, well,
0:17:48 > 0:17:51"I would never do that, I would do this."
0:17:51 > 0:17:54And I always think until you're in the position that you have cancer,
0:17:54 > 0:17:56you don't know what you'll do.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57You absolutely don't know.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I find taking a holistic approach has worked for me.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Diet and exercise,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10but also things like
0:18:10 > 0:18:13acupuncture and therapy, Reiki,
0:18:13 > 0:18:15meditation - all sorts of things can really help.
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Do what makes you feel happy.
0:18:19 > 0:18:25That is my main point, as I think it's up to the individual.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27MUSIC STARTS
0:18:31 > 0:18:34And I think that's the thing, that actually...
0:18:34 > 0:18:37you can be living with cancer
0:18:37 > 0:18:40and actually be fit and healthy
0:18:40 > 0:18:42and well in so many other respects.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48But living with her cancer has meant years of treatment,
0:18:48 > 0:18:50including a double mastectomy.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54The treatment I have been through, medical procedures,
0:18:54 > 0:18:59have been a real assault on my self-confidence and self-esteem.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02For me, my way of switching off and actually...
0:19:03 > 0:19:08being able to just relax is through belly dance.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10It's been just like a life-saver, really.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Despite the spread of her cancer,
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Yvette's regime seems to be keeping it at bay.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29I think I've got the right form.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32But even so, the endless merry-go-round
0:19:32 > 0:19:35of scans and test results never stops.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37That's fine, you can take your seat.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Thanks very much.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47OK, if you pop both of your arms above your head.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51You learn the art of patience.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55When you've been coming to hospital for a long time,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57you learn that there's a lot of waiting.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00We're about to start, OK?
0:20:01 > 0:20:06It has been kept in check for quite a while, but it's just there.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10It's like having a squatter in your home,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12just this presence.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- SCANNER:- 'Breathe in and hold your breath.'
0:20:17 > 0:20:20And in my head, this presence is called Cedric.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23He's always trying to encroach on other areas
0:20:23 > 0:20:27and it's almost like you just think...
0:20:27 > 0:20:29"Agh! Keep back, keep back."
0:20:30 > 0:20:31'Breathe normally.'
0:20:31 > 0:20:38A couple of months ago, I had a scan and they did show a deterioration,
0:20:38 > 0:20:43which is really the first time in a while.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47Well, I hope... I hope the results are good.
0:20:47 > 0:20:53'But that means the worry is that it's going to run riot.'
0:20:53 > 0:20:54MONITOR BEEPS
0:21:04 > 0:21:08The scan that I had yesterday is to see if I need any more chemo
0:21:08 > 0:21:12or radiotherapy, but I won't know the results until next week.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13No.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15So... So is it effective?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17He said it can be cured with it, yeah.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18Yeah.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Caught in stage two, so it's quite early.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Treatable?- Yeah, treatable.
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Mine was stage four when they...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Which is...
0:21:29 > 0:21:30..when they found it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I didn't have any symptoms or nothing, you know.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- It was...- Did you find it hard to tell people?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37We've kept... We tried to keep it quiet.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38I just told everyone.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42- Yeah.- Yeah.- Did you find it hard...?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- I did.- Do you find it hard?
0:21:44 > 0:21:49They struggle to come to terms with certain aspects of it and stuff.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52The worst thing is when they start crying on you,
0:21:52 > 0:21:57- because you just feel like slapping 'em.- My dad is the worst for it.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59You think, "What are you crying at?"
0:21:59 > 0:22:02I say, "Susan, what are you crying at? You haven't got cancer."
0:22:02 > 0:22:03You know?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06The sympathy bit, you don't like it, do you?
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- No.- You just want it to...
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- carry on.- Well, you've cried enough yourself, you know.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13When you're on your own,
0:22:13 > 0:22:17and you don't want your best friend sitting there blubbing away.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22But what do you say to someone with cancer?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25It's not an easy conversation.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27It can be uncomfortable.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29But then again,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32it might not be.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Oooh!- Daniel and Adam.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- Daniel and Adam.- Is it?- Adam...
0:22:40 > 0:22:42..in his Christmas play there.
0:22:44 > 0:22:45That one.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48'I said to wife, "Do you think I'm going to die?"
0:22:48 > 0:22:51'And she told me, "Don't be so bleeding stupid!
0:22:51 > 0:22:53'"You're going to be here for ages."'
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Diane when she's 15, the little chicken.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Love of my life. We, er...
0:23:00 > 0:23:01..met in a pub...
0:23:01 > 0:23:03..we weren't supposed to be in...
0:23:05 > 0:23:06..but we were.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10And as you can see, she took a straight shine to me.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Oh, my God! Have you heard him?
0:23:14 > 0:23:17I'd be doing a life sentence if it weren't for my wife.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20The first 30 years of my life I were a proper bastard.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25It's pointless lying and saying it were all a bed of roses, it weren't.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29I were a bit of a drinker and that.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I wasn't a nice person back then.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35And they say a leopard can't change its spots...
0:23:36 > 0:23:39..but I've changed, ain't I, love?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41- You had to do.- I had to do, yeah.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47I changed when Diane threatened to leave me.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53She said, "You either choose me and kids or beer."
0:23:54 > 0:23:57And I actually haven't been drunk since that day.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01She's proper sorted me out.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05It's my turn now to go out partying and...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I know I'm getting a bit old, but
0:24:07 > 0:24:10it's something what I've missed in me years.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12You're enjoying life, though, kid.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Trying.
0:24:15 > 0:24:20You hear of cancer all around you, but never a man with breast cancer.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Trust him, he'd have to have something different.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26As long as I've got my Diane, I don't give a shit.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28She's my rock.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Oh...
0:24:33 > 0:24:36But I love you. Give us a kiss.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Shut up! Stupid.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Give us a kiss!- No!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53You will be fine.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56You will be. And I think as long as you keep that in there...
0:24:56 > 0:25:01- Yeah.- You know, I've got an 11-year-old
0:25:01 > 0:25:04and a 22-month-old baby,
0:25:04 > 0:25:06so when I got told,
0:25:06 > 0:25:08my first reaction was, "My kids!"
0:25:08 > 0:25:11- Yeah. Of course.- I wasn't really thinking about myself,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14I just thought straightaway, "What's going to happen to my kids?"
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Yeah.- And then I thought, "Why am I thinking that?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19"Because I'm going to be here. I'm not going anywhere."
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Sally's going into the Christie Hospital today
0:25:38 > 0:25:40to prepare for her stem cell transplant,
0:25:40 > 0:25:44which starts with a week of intensive chemotherapy
0:25:44 > 0:25:46to destroy her immune system.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I were up at half past five this morning. I got downstairs and...
0:25:49 > 0:25:53started sorting I don't know how many bags of socks into their piles.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58You know, it's just a mum's job that's got to be done.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01And to be honest with you, I felt better after doing that,
0:26:01 > 0:26:05because you think, "I won't be doing this again for another month."
0:26:05 > 0:26:07With her body so vulnerable to infection,
0:26:07 > 0:26:10it means she'll be in isolation for at least four weeks,
0:26:10 > 0:26:13with no physical contact to the outside world,
0:26:13 > 0:26:16which also means no visits from her five children.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17Ta-ta!
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Come on, off we go.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32Tried to keep the morning as usual a morning as we can do, really.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Like, we really just usually go to school and to the lessons.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Even though they know that you're going in,
0:26:38 > 0:26:41but you don't want to sort of mention it,
0:26:41 > 0:26:43that you won't be doing it for another month -
0:26:43 > 0:26:44I can't say that to them.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48This transplant is Sally's last hope of survival,
0:26:48 > 0:26:51but even though the match that's been found is perfect,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54there's a chance it might not work or that she may be too weak
0:26:54 > 0:26:58to tolerate the procedure, but it's a risk she has to take.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01If she does nothing, the cancer will eventually kill her.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26PUPILS CHAT
0:28:39 > 0:28:40CHILD CRIES
0:28:48 > 0:28:52Come on. Come on, boys, let's go fight. Come on.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22When they told me about the transplant,
0:29:22 > 0:29:27it was a 33% chance that you can die.
0:29:29 > 0:29:34For my family, for my children, for my friends, I'm just going to,
0:29:34 > 0:29:38you know, look forward. We're not looking back.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40It's just...
0:29:40 > 0:29:43hoping, praying, for a new start.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54The best possible outcome - that the tumours have shrunk.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Er, I suppose the next best outcome
0:29:57 > 0:30:01is that everything has stayed the same.
0:30:02 > 0:30:08Then...the slightly not so good outcome, it's got a bit worse,
0:30:08 > 0:30:12and then... Well, I'm not thinking of anything beyond those.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13No, we won't think of that.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16We have to think of the positive outcomes.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Good outcome, good outcome. We're thinking good outcome.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- Fingers crossed.- Fingers crossed. Toes crossed.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Yvette's scan results are in
0:30:26 > 0:30:29and she's back at the Royal Marsden with her mother for moral support.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32The challenge is if they do say to me,
0:30:32 > 0:30:36"OK, it's still spreading," what do I do?
0:30:36 > 0:30:40At the moment I feel well, and the trouble with something like chemo,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42which probably would be one of the options,
0:30:42 > 0:30:44is that it will make me feel ill.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49So, I mean, I would not do that
0:30:49 > 0:30:53without a lot of careful consideration.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Yvette, come here. Nice to see you again.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Come and have a seat. Hello.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05We met the last time, didn't we?
0:31:05 > 0:31:06Yes, of course.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Now, how are you feeling?
0:31:09 > 0:31:10I'm feeling really well.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12- I'm feeling...- OK, excellent.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17Now, look, the test that we've done they're not quite so good.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20There are one or two little patches on the pleura,
0:31:20 > 0:31:25that's the lining of the lung, and some of these are a little bigger.
0:31:25 > 0:31:26Also in the liver...
0:31:27 > 0:31:30..some of the nodules in the liver are bigger,
0:31:30 > 0:31:33and there's one or two new ones which are very small.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Oh.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Look, it's not the greatest news,
0:31:38 > 0:31:41but I promise you it's not a disaster. Things have got...
0:31:41 > 0:31:45We are where we've been several times over the last few years,
0:31:45 > 0:31:49when it just gets a little bit worse, and it's always a real bummer
0:31:49 > 0:31:52when it does get worse because, naturally,
0:31:52 > 0:31:56it makes you anxious, but the important thing for you to know
0:31:56 > 0:31:58is it's growing very slowly.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00It's not doing any harm just now
0:32:00 > 0:32:05- and we've got loads of drugs still available to control it.- Oh.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08But there's two main options, I think.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13The first is we could just carry on as we are doing,
0:32:13 > 0:32:17because it's growing slowly - the keyword is slowly -
0:32:17 > 0:32:20and the tamoxifen may be slowing it down.
0:32:20 > 0:32:26- The second option - and I think I'd prefer this option...- Mmm.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29..is the possibility of being in a trial.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33- Right.- Now, the point about this treatment is it's new.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35We don't know for sure how well it's going to work.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39There's no guarantees, you know that, for any treatment.
0:32:39 > 0:32:43But we have had some very good early results with it,
0:32:43 > 0:32:47and this is the kind of drug which is experimental today,
0:32:47 > 0:32:48but in a year's time,
0:32:48 > 0:32:51- it could be one of the standard drugs that we use.- OK.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56- So that's where we are.- I just don't want it to spread anywhere else.
0:32:56 > 0:33:01Exactly. That's the problem with breast cancer - when it comes back,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04we can get it under control for a while
0:33:04 > 0:33:06and then the cancer cells develop
0:33:06 > 0:33:08the trick of becoming resistant to the treatment.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11That's why we need to change the treatment to something else.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- All right?- Mmm.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Goody. Sorry it's so complicated.
0:33:16 > 0:33:17No, no, no, thank you very much.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19- All right, you take care.- Thank you.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22- All right. Bye-bye.- Thank you.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Sally's coming in.- Hmm? - Sally's coming in.
0:33:34 > 0:33:35Never mind.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49It's always about making decisions.
0:33:49 > 0:33:53I just don't want to have to make any more decisions.
0:34:10 > 0:34:16When I'm better, which I'm practically better,
0:34:16 > 0:34:17we're going on holiday,
0:34:17 > 0:34:20erm, a nice holiday.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Makes you realise that if you've got any money in the bank...
0:34:24 > 0:34:26- It's no good in the bank. - ..it's no good...
0:34:26 > 0:34:28just stuck there.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30We're going to spend it, aren't we, dear?
0:34:30 > 0:34:34- You know, you need money for the future, but...- Remortgage the house!
0:34:35 > 0:34:37..how long for?
0:34:37 > 0:34:39- I don't know what the future is.- No.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45This is the morning of day three.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49Just sat relaxed here in my easy chair in the corner
0:34:49 > 0:34:53by all my photos, so I feel my family's with me.
0:34:53 > 0:34:54Those are my boys there.
0:34:54 > 0:34:56And a picture of Mum, me and Ruth.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07The first stage of Sally's treatment is almost done...
0:35:08 > 0:35:11..a week of intensive chemotherapy to kill off her immune system.
0:35:13 > 0:35:14This is Sophie.
0:35:14 > 0:35:15Hi!
0:35:17 > 0:35:21She's been on nights the last two nights taking care of me.
0:35:21 > 0:35:22Here's Barry, the cleaner.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25- Hi! I'm the cleaner.- He's brilliant, that one.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27I'm taking him home in the suitcase.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Deep breaths, Sally.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31And out.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35I feel fine. I don't feel unwell.
0:35:35 > 0:35:40Everything is going OK, touch wood, touch wood.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43I've got Sarah now doing my bed today.
0:35:43 > 0:35:44Hi!
0:35:45 > 0:35:53Good morning. This is... the final day of the treatment
0:35:53 > 0:35:57for the bone marrow.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Hello, Meggie, bach.
0:36:00 > 0:36:01Meg!
0:36:01 > 0:36:04My cells have come from America safely
0:36:04 > 0:36:07and I'll be having my transplant
0:36:07 > 0:36:08about two o'clock tomorrow afternoon.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10I'm not worried at all.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12I'm glad it's all happening now.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13Yeah, so goodnight.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16God bless, everybody, see you tomorrow.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Are you going to put your shoes on?
0:36:25 > 0:36:28In Leeds, it's the morning of Dominic's mastectomy.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31I can tell she's as nervous as a goat.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33She's absolutely bricking it.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37I just can't wait for it to be over and done with, to be quite honest.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41I know you can see I'm smoking, but I'm actually...
0:36:41 > 0:36:45I'm only smoking cos like I said, I'm a bit nervy.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Cos I do have a bit of a phobia.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49I think hospitals are for poorly people
0:36:49 > 0:36:53and I don't class myself as a poorly person, you know what I mean?
0:36:53 > 0:36:56I've got a bit of an hiccup and we'll see
0:36:56 > 0:37:00if we can get this hiccup out of the way and get me home.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02- Are you nervous?- Yeah, I'm nervous for you, love.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04Where are my shoes?
0:37:05 > 0:37:07You'll be all right.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- You'll have to be, won't you, love? - Course I will. Can't cope
0:37:10 > 0:37:13- without me, could you, kid?- But you're coming home today.- I am.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18- They've said I can.- You don't know what's going to happen, do you?
0:37:18 > 0:37:20Yeah, but they said I could come home, so...
0:37:22 > 0:37:24I don't think you should come home today.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27I don't think they'll let you home today.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30You haven't got a fella coming in tonight, have you?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Because of his weight and difficulties breathing,
0:37:40 > 0:37:44Dominic is undergoing mastectomy with only a local anaesthetic.
0:37:54 > 0:37:58Just awful cos every day you hear somebody dying with it.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03SHE SNIFFS
0:38:07 > 0:38:09HE HUMS CHEERILY
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- Ow!- OK.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16- That hurt?- Yes.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20- So sorry. You are nearly there, genuinely.- All right, sir.
0:38:20 > 0:38:21Have you got a boyfriend?
0:38:21 > 0:38:22No.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24THEY LAUGH
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Why haven't you got a boyfriend?
0:38:26 > 0:38:30- Cos I haven't.- I'm telling you, best thing that ever happened to me
0:38:30 > 0:38:31is that old bird out there.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39After nearly two hours in surgery,
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Dominic's left breast has been removed.
0:38:42 > 0:38:43There's my little princess.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47- You all right?- Yeah.
0:38:48 > 0:38:49I'd sooner it were me than you, kid.
0:38:54 > 0:38:55Seriously.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Later that day, he gets his wish...
0:39:01 > 0:39:03..but Dominic's not out of the woods yet.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06It's going to be a few weeks before he knows if he's got the all clear.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23I might buy a new anti-ageing cream.
0:39:23 > 0:39:24Another bit of that, some now.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26With the week of chemotherapy done,
0:39:26 > 0:39:30Sally is now ready for the stem cell transplant.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33I've got my new lippy, and some earrings, so, you know,
0:39:33 > 0:39:34I'm going to look smart
0:39:34 > 0:39:36because I think you've got to do the effort for everything.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44You don't feel attractive at all.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46You know, you go up to the bedroom at night,
0:39:46 > 0:39:48and you get undressed on your own
0:39:48 > 0:39:50and you look at yourself in the mirror
0:39:50 > 0:39:53and you just think, "Who the hell is that?"
0:39:54 > 0:39:55You know, "That isn't me.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00"That's Sally with cancer, that is."
0:40:00 > 0:40:03That isn't the Sally that has been married.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24- Are you all right?- Yeah.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26- Yeah? Bit emotional? - Yeah.- Just get it.
0:40:26 > 0:40:31Get it up, get it in, all right?
0:40:31 > 0:40:33- Yeah.- OK.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36- Sally Irwin? - Sally Irwin.
0:40:36 > 0:40:41- American donor.- Yeah.- And there's 4.51 times ten to the six.
0:40:41 > 0:40:45And then we've just got the day on Wednesday the 15th.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Yeah. Then it's you.
0:40:48 > 0:40:49All right, we've got this going now.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52- It's in?- It's in.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07It's all done.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20- I'll call you later. - Thank you very much.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23- All right, I'll come back and see you later.- Thanks.
0:41:34 > 0:41:38Oh, I'm just so thankful that I've have this chance...
0:41:41 > 0:41:43..of life again, to live.
0:41:44 > 0:41:48I know it's going to be difficult now, you know,
0:41:48 > 0:41:50I know I'll be having,
0:41:50 > 0:41:53like, platelets and blood transfusions and, you know,
0:41:53 > 0:41:56there'll be loads of things going on now in the next three weeks.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00But, you know, if I am having a bad day, I'm going to say,
0:42:00 > 0:42:02tomorrow is going to be a better day.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Because I'm going to be just that bit stronger again tomorrow.
0:42:16 > 0:42:17For 20 years,
0:42:17 > 0:42:22medical advances have kept Yvette's cancer from overwhelming her body.
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Now, hoping to keep it under control a little longer,
0:42:24 > 0:42:27she's decided to try the next new thing on offer
0:42:27 > 0:42:29and join the drugs trial.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33I do feel a bit like a guinea pig,
0:42:33 > 0:42:37but then they have to have guinea pigs for these new drugs.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40And, yeah, it's worth a try.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42I just hope it works.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45You have to try, don't you?
0:42:45 > 0:42:47What option has she got?
0:42:47 > 0:42:49I thought I was coping with everything quite well,
0:42:49 > 0:42:51and during the day it's fine.
0:42:51 > 0:42:55It's at night that everything goes through your head.
0:42:56 > 0:43:00My way of dealing with things is to keep myself busy,
0:43:00 > 0:43:04but then when you feel tired and really drained,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07and you just have to rest,
0:43:07 > 0:43:13that's when you get that...Cedric coming in.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16I thought to myself, OK, well, it's not in my brain.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18And then I thought, but how do I know it's not in my brain,
0:43:18 > 0:43:21because I don't feel that it's in my liver.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23And then I thought, well, I'd know if it was in my brain.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26And this is all going on in my head, thinking,
0:43:26 > 0:43:29I don't know for sure that it's not in my brain, and ohhh...
0:43:29 > 0:43:33The trouble is, if you start thinking, what if, what if, what if,
0:43:33 > 0:43:34it really does your head in.
0:43:36 > 0:43:40- Where am I going?- That's room five. - Are we in room five?
0:43:40 > 0:43:42This one.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47I think she said room five.
0:43:47 > 0:43:49Yeah, I think we're in here.
0:43:56 > 0:44:00So, that's for you. So, if I give you that, if you open up your box,
0:44:00 > 0:44:03that's got everything in there that you need.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05Hopefully it'll open up all right.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07- Oh, wow!- OK?
0:44:07 > 0:44:09They should be ten. Any order.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Doesn't matter. So, basically, if you have a look on them,
0:44:12 > 0:44:15they're all labelled with the name of the drug.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18- Yes.- Tells you the milligrams that you're on.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19OK.
0:44:19 > 0:44:24Your hospital number, and it tells you to swallow whole one capsule,
0:44:24 > 0:44:26once a day, at the same time each day.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28- Thank you.- There you go.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36Hello, my name is Yvette.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38Welcome to my very first vlog.
0:44:40 > 0:44:45I've decided to do one, really,
0:44:45 > 0:44:48because today is quite a momentous day.
0:44:48 > 0:44:53For a start, it marks the 20th anniversary
0:44:53 > 0:44:57since my first diagnosis of breast cancer.
0:44:57 > 0:45:03And also it's the day that I started a new drug trial.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I just want things to stay the same.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10I'm not asking to be cured.
0:45:10 > 0:45:16Because at the moment, that doesn't seem to be...an option.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20But I just didn't want things to get any worse.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Anyway, see you soon.
0:45:23 > 0:45:24Bye.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33Eight days after Sally received her stem cell transplant,
0:45:33 > 0:45:35her condition deteriorated.
0:45:35 > 0:45:39Her body wasn't strong enough to cope with the treatment she'd undergone.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42Sally was transferred to the Critical Care Unit.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45Four weeks after receiving the transplant, she died.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33- SON:- I didn't look at Mum as if she were ill,
0:46:33 > 0:46:36I'd look at Mum as if she's my mum. She's perfect.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39She never let illness be the person she was.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42She was... that's who she was.
0:46:42 > 0:46:43She was like that.
0:46:43 > 0:46:47She was bubbly. All the time making other people happy.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52We gather together this morning to worship God
0:46:52 > 0:46:56and to give him thanks for the life of our very dear,
0:46:56 > 0:46:58special friend, Sally.
0:46:58 > 0:47:03Knowing the Lord who gave her to us will comfort us in our grief.
0:47:03 > 0:47:07People say, oh, yeah, she must have been tired, she'd been suffering.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09At least now she's not suffering any more.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13But I know Mum would prefer to be here and suffering
0:47:13 > 0:47:14than not being here.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I can only describe Sally...
0:47:20 > 0:47:23..as a warm-hearted person...
0:47:23 > 0:47:25who endeared herself to all.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28'She touched everyone's life wherever she went.'
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Such a happy person.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Very happy person.
0:47:35 > 0:47:41Her warm smile, her generous spirit and her gentle nature
0:47:41 > 0:47:46have all been, all these and more, have been God's gifts to Sally,
0:47:46 > 0:47:49and through Sally they have been God's gifts to us.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54'It didn't change her.'
0:47:54 > 0:47:58She was who she was and she didn't let anything get in the way.
0:47:59 > 0:48:00No.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05The Lord gave, the Lord taketh away.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Blessed be the name of the Lord.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13ALL: # Sometimes in our lives
0:48:13 > 0:48:15# We all have pain
0:48:15 > 0:48:19# We all have sorrow
0:48:19 > 0:48:24# But if we are wise
0:48:24 > 0:48:30# We know that there's always tomorrow
0:48:30 > 0:48:35# Lean on me, when you're not strong
0:48:35 > 0:48:38# And I'll be your friend
0:48:38 > 0:48:43# I'll help you to carry on
0:48:43 > 0:48:46# For it won't be long
0:48:46 > 0:48:53# 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on. #
0:48:56 > 0:48:57Losing your mum...
0:48:59 > 0:49:03..there isn't a word that can describe how much pain it is.
0:49:03 > 0:49:05It'll never be the same.
0:49:05 > 0:49:06Never.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21Well, I'm down for 12.
0:49:21 > 0:49:25This is number 11, so my number 12 is three weeks,
0:49:25 > 0:49:27so I'll get another scan
0:49:27 > 0:49:29and then they'll decide
0:49:29 > 0:49:33what to do, because I'm being managed at the moment.
0:49:33 > 0:49:38Which is different from getting a cure, because it's not curable.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41I wish I knew how long I would have
0:49:41 > 0:49:45so I can actually plan things better.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48Because what you tend to do, well, what I've done is,
0:49:48 > 0:49:51I keep waiting for the next scan.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54I think, right, if the next scan is fine, I'll do this, this and this,
0:49:54 > 0:49:56then I don't always.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59I think, oh, no, I'll wait until the next scan.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02You know, so I just need to sort of...
0:50:04 > 0:50:05..get on with life, really.
0:50:10 > 0:50:16I'm really in two minds as to whether to post this or not.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Because, usually, I only...
0:50:21 > 0:50:24..put up posts when I'm feeling...
0:50:25 > 0:50:27..quite positive.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29And I'm definitely going through...
0:50:30 > 0:50:32..a wobbly patch.
0:50:32 > 0:50:33However much...
0:50:35 > 0:50:36..you try and rationalise it...
0:50:41 > 0:50:43..you still feel crap.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46You still feel...
0:50:46 > 0:50:49completely poleaxed by it all.
0:50:49 > 0:50:52I often feel I'm coping quite well
0:50:52 > 0:50:56and managing day-to-day, and I feel physically well...
0:50:59 > 0:51:03..but emotionally...I'm exhausted.
0:51:03 > 0:51:04I'm sure it will get better.
0:51:05 > 0:51:07It always does.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10And late at night, these things always seem worse.
0:51:18 > 0:51:21It's been eight weeks since Yvette started on the drugs trial.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25It's been very stressful the last month or so.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28I think it has, because Yvette was so depressed.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31All the time, she has never been as depressed
0:51:31 > 0:51:34as she was after Christmas.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37I just felt so desperately tired
0:51:37 > 0:51:40and just really felt antisocial.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42I didn't want to do anything,
0:51:42 > 0:51:44I just... I just felt overwhelmed.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47When I did the blog, I was really...
0:51:50 > 0:51:52..frightened about posting it.
0:51:52 > 0:51:55But, actually, I got really...
0:51:55 > 0:52:00a huge amount of support, and so many people said, "That's how I feel."
0:52:03 > 0:52:06She's now come for the results of her most recent scan,
0:52:06 > 0:52:10which will show whether the trial is working.
0:52:10 > 0:52:13It's just us, here we go.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15So, we just sit here?
0:52:17 > 0:52:20I sit here.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23Now I'm feeling anxious.
0:52:26 > 0:52:27SHE COUGHS
0:52:33 > 0:52:34Hello.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37- Sorry to keep you waiting. - That's all right.- Hello.
0:52:37 > 0:52:41- You've met my mother? - Very nice to see you.
0:52:41 > 0:52:45Just going through, making sure I've got everything.
0:52:45 > 0:52:46So it's good news.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49- Good news?- Absolutely.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52The disease in the chest wall looks better.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Your liver looks better.
0:52:54 > 0:52:57Overall, really, a very nice response.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59Oh, wow. Oh, that's good.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01I was just thinking, I hope it's the same.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04- So, if it's better... - Definitely better.- Excellent.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08Absolutely. One area in the liver that they've measured down from just
0:53:08 > 0:53:12over three centimetres to only just over two centimetres.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16So, really, really nice response.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Oh, that's really good news.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20The treatment is clearly working.
0:53:20 > 0:53:25- Yeah!- We want to do absolutely everything we can to keep you on this treatment.
0:53:29 > 0:53:31It's working.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33SHE SINGS
0:53:38 > 0:53:40Yeah. I am happy.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42I had a great day.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43My tumours have shrunk.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47All of them! It's great news, for me, for my mum,
0:53:47 > 0:53:53who's struggled along to every appointment with me
0:53:53 > 0:53:57and shared all the tears, and a lot of laughter as well.
0:53:57 > 0:54:02But, anyway, it feels like a landmark, and...
0:54:02 > 0:54:04Yeah, thank you all.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16I've heard people say, "Why me?"
0:54:16 > 0:54:18Well, I just said, why NOT me?
0:54:18 > 0:54:20I've had things before in my life, I've got through them.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23I've had some trauma in my life
0:54:23 > 0:54:27previous to this and I got through it and...
0:54:27 > 0:54:30if I'm able, I'll get through this.
0:54:31 > 0:54:35If it's down to me, then I'll get through this.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37But you have your days when you think...
0:54:37 > 0:54:39is it all worth it?
0:54:39 > 0:54:43Is it? You just have your down days, but you soon pop back.
0:55:11 > 0:55:12Morning, girls.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16BARKING
0:55:16 > 0:55:18You ready for this?
0:55:19 > 0:55:21OK?
0:55:21 > 0:55:22I went back and I got the all clear.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26I'm over t'moon.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28I've shown people. Well, I might as well show you.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34Hoping to get a nipple tattooed on.
0:55:34 > 0:55:35Wife changed my mind.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39She said, "What's the point?
0:55:39 > 0:55:41"You don't walk about..."
0:55:41 > 0:55:43"wi' nowt on. Nobody's going to see you."
0:55:45 > 0:55:48I said, "Yeah, you're right."
0:55:48 > 0:55:51So, we jacksed that job in.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57You think cancer...
0:55:57 > 0:55:59dead. That's it, over and done.
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Cancer is not the end.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03I'm 55.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06Let's...rock on.
0:56:07 > 0:56:11So in the summer holidays, Mikey got poorly.
0:56:11 > 0:56:14Does everyone know what's wrong with him?
0:56:14 > 0:56:18- Yeah?- Did he have a brain tumour? - He's got a brain tumour, yeah.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20It still sometimes feels like it's a dream.
0:56:20 > 0:56:22BOY SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
0:56:23 > 0:56:25# Sun has got his hat on
0:56:25 > 0:56:27# Hip hip hip hooray
0:56:27 > 0:56:30# The sun has got his hat on and he's going out to play. #
0:56:30 > 0:56:35Yes, the tumour is growing. I don't know which way it's going,
0:56:35 > 0:56:37but you just use your imagination.
0:56:39 > 0:56:41Goodbye, sweet hair.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44Yes, I'm ready.
0:56:46 > 0:56:49Hello. What have you been doing?
0:56:49 > 0:56:51Nothing much, really.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54Well, we are looking ahead to the day
0:56:54 > 0:56:59we're called in and they say it's good news. The treatment's worked.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01That's what we hope.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04YELLING
0:57:07 > 0:57:10Are you or someone you know living with cancer?
0:57:10 > 0:57:12The Open University has produced a free booklet
0:57:12 > 0:57:14about how you can make a difference
0:57:14 > 0:57:16to the lives of people affected by cancer.
0:57:16 > 0:57:21To order your free copy, please call 0300 3032465,
0:57:21 > 0:57:27or go to bbc.co.uk/bigc and follow the links to the Open University.