0:00:03 > 0:00:08There's a community of people in Britain that's growing every day.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11It's big - there are 2.5 million of us.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13'Breathe in and hold your breath.'
0:00:13 > 0:00:17You may know some of us. Perhaps you're a member yourself.
0:00:17 > 0:00:22- We all have cancer.- There is no right or wrong of living with it.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Life has got to carry on.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27That's the thing, you see - life has got to carry on, isn't it?
0:00:27 > 0:00:28That's right.
0:00:28 > 0:00:32There are 2.5 million of us living with cancer
0:00:32 > 0:00:35and nearly 1,000 more join us every day.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- The biopsies show breast cancer. - I thought they would.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- I'm sorry for being so blunt. - It's all right.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44But don't make the mistake of thinking a diagnosis is
0:00:44 > 0:00:49- always a death sentence.- All right, Dana? Are you better now? I am.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50I feel better now.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Now, for the first time, at least half of us will survive...
0:00:54 > 0:00:57I'm no way on the way out, not for a long way. No.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01No, I'm not going anywhere yet.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04..but then again, about half of us won't.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I said to the wife, "Do you think I'm going to die?"
0:01:07 > 0:01:10And she told me, "Don't be so bleeding stupid!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12"You're going to be here for ages!"
0:01:12 > 0:01:15God, I love you. Give us a kiss.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16Shut up, stupid!
0:01:18 > 0:01:22It's time to ditch the hushed tones, the awkwardness.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Just to let you know that the steroid that we give,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27when it's going in, it can give you a bit of a prickly bottom.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Oh, I see what you mean.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32We want to share what it's really like to live with cancer.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36You want to shout at people and say, "Well, can't you just stop
0:01:36 > 0:01:38"because my world has stopped?"
0:01:39 > 0:01:43None of us have chosen to be here, but still, welcome to our world.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Take your time.- I'm not going in that thing, I can tell you!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55We're going in here.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Most of us discover we have cancer by walking down a corridor
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- and into a little white room. - Have a seat in that one, OK?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07I don't know who wants to go right next to your mum.
0:02:07 > 0:02:1183-year-old June has come to St James's Hospital in Leeds
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- with her three daughters.- Tell me your story. How did all this start?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16It's about six weeks ago now, isn't it?
0:02:16 > 0:02:20I walked in one Tuesday morning, and I just saw in the corner,
0:02:20 > 0:02:22- she was glowing in the corner. - So then what happened?
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Well, these two took me to the doctor's, didn't they?
0:02:26 > 0:02:32- Straight to the doctor's.- Yep.- They found the cancer at the same time.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- So your pancreas - do you know what your pancreas does?- Yes, it...
0:02:36 > 0:02:40- I don't know, really. No, I'm not right sure.- It produces insulin.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41So, yeah, it makes insulin.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- You're all complicated inside, I do know that!- You're absolutely right.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48It makes the digestive juices that you digest your food with.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50If you're normally fit and well,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53we'd be looking at an operation, and the operation is probably
0:02:53 > 0:02:55the biggest operation that you can have in the entire world.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yes, I know that.
0:02:57 > 0:03:02It will be a big hit but it's the only chance of cure.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10When we're confronted with cancer, we all have different things
0:03:10 > 0:03:13to weigh up, but one factor is always our age.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- You miss Mikey? Yeah?- They all do.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Nine-year-old Mikey was rushed to the John Radcliffe Hospital
0:03:25 > 0:03:29in Oxford for emergency brain surgery three weeks ago.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31This is the first time his brothers and sisters have seen him
0:03:31 > 0:03:35- since the operation.- So what have you been up to today, then?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Nothing much.- Nothing much? He's looking a bit better.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Yeah, and he's walking better.- Yeah.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Um, right. So, my name's Caroline
0:03:44 > 0:03:47and I'm a children's nurse from the Great Western Hospital...
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Back in Wiltshire, Mikey's class has begun the autumn term without him.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I work with people with brain tumours
0:03:54 > 0:03:57and any sort of cancer in children, OK?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59And that's how I've got to know Mikey.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02So in the summer holidays, Mikey got poorly
0:04:02 > 0:04:05and he ended up in hospital, having a really big operation.
0:04:05 > 0:04:10Does everyone know what's wrong with him? Can anyone tell me? Yeah?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Did he have a brain tumour? - He's got a brain tumour, yeah.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17So they found a lump inside his head and did a big operation to
0:04:17 > 0:04:19take as much as possible away, and then,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22he has to start some treatment.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24It's really, really rare, getting a brain tumour.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26It's just something that's happened to Mikey
0:04:26 > 0:04:29and you'll probably never see it happen to another child ever.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40With his seven brothers and sisters to look after at home,
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Mikey's mum and dad are taking it in turns to stay with him in hospital.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48This time, it's his dad's turn to make the 50-mile journey back
0:04:48 > 0:04:49to their village.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Bye, Mikey. All right?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Bye, Mikey. Be good, won't you?- Yeah.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- It won't be long before you're with us again.- You'll be home soon.- Yeah?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03- Yeah?- Come on, then.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Bye.- Bye.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Come on, then.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24- Shall we talk about plan B?- Yes. Please.- So plan B...- Plan B, yes?
0:05:24 > 0:05:29- Plan B's chemo. So chemo will never cure it.- No.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Won't get rid of it but it will slow it down
0:05:32 > 0:05:38and you're looking at sort of 11, 12 months plus, OK?
0:05:38 > 0:05:43The side effects or the complication rate is not...
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Is that instead of the operation? - Instead of an operation.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I don't want that. I don't want that. I want that.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- You want to have it out? - It's my body. I want that.
0:05:51 > 0:05:58If I do the operation, 50% of patients, it'll come back.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- Don't come back?- It will come back. - It will come back?
0:06:00 > 0:06:0350% will come back in one year.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08If we don't do anything and it's not spread anywhere,
0:06:08 > 0:06:11then you're looking at less than 12 months.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16It physically felt like somebody punched you in the stomach
0:06:16 > 0:06:18and your breath's gone.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22When he said that, I heard what he said, but as soon as he left,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26I looked at you, didn't I, and said, "Did I hear right? Did he say that?
0:06:26 > 0:06:30"Did he actually say she wouldn't have long?"
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I don't know what to do now. Have to think about that.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- You'll make the right decision. - I'll make the right decision.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43It's a lot to think about.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49From the moment of diagnosis,
0:06:49 > 0:06:52the race is on to find the right treatment.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58- You'll have days where you feel, like, oh! It feels terrible.- Yeah.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02You've got to go through some, haven't you, to get the end result?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- Of course, yeah. As they say, no pain, no gain.- Well, that's true.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Never a truer word spoken, is there?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Right, so I'm going to do your anti-sickness and your steroids in a mo.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Do you get the prickling sensation from your steroids?- No.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Prickly bottom?- No, I don't.- No?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- Have I been missing out on something?- Possibly!
0:07:22 > 0:07:26And as we face each decision, it's those around us that keep us
0:07:26 > 0:07:28on track.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30I think it's your kids that carry you through
0:07:30 > 0:07:34because you really want to be there for them
0:07:34 > 0:07:36and you want to see them growing up.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I think my kids have been my biggest strength all through this.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Yeah? Look at you, grinning there!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48That's the best sleep I've had in ages.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- The best sleep you've had in ages? - Yeah.- Is it?
0:07:51 > 0:07:55And I've always known him as active and mobile and running around.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Then he was being sick,
0:08:00 > 0:08:06he had headaches and he was walking as though he was drunk,
0:08:06 > 0:08:11and they told us that he had a brain tumour,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15which was a bit hard to even contemplate.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20He's going to have a big one and he'll have a little one.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Mikey's dad, Peter,
0:08:21 > 0:08:25has given up his job as a part-time gardener to look after the family.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29It's the first time he and Mary have been apart in 20 years.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32We knew we were going to be together the rest of our lives.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35There was no ifs or buts about it.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39We thought, what can we do to keep this bond together?
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Why don't we have some children?
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Eight was the number that we quoted when we first got together, yeah.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Quite enjoyed it, really, yeah, being a dad. Ha-ha!
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Mm.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Mikey? Are you all right?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Mikey's cancer is rare and aggressive.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03The recommended treatment is likely to take its toll.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07And his parents have had to make the tough decision for it to go ahead.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13By signing it, you still feel, "Did you make the right decision?"
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I mean, that's how I feel.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19Because, I mean, the outcome was if we didn't sign the consent form,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22obviously, we'd lose him, he would die.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25He's going to have chemotherapy
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- and he will start that later on this afternoon.- OK.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31And it will be every two or three weeks in one of our beds,
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- for two or three days.- Right, OK.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38And then in about four or five weeks' time, as well as that,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- he's going to have radiotherapy. - Right.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45The chemotherapy does have side-effects, so...
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Yeah, they did say his hair's going to fall out.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52And then another big side-effect is that occasionally,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56the treatment itself could result in such a serious infection
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- that he could actually die. - Right, OK.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02But what we do know, and I know that you know this,
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- is he does need the treatment. - Yes, I know.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- You're all onboard with that? - We're well aware, yeah.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09She's putting on a brave face.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Deep inside, I expect she really feels like me.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17I mean, I still do have it in my mind that we might lose Mikey.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Um...but Mary says that she doesn't want to go there.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22CHILDREN SING
0:10:28 > 0:10:31It still sometimes feels like it's a dream.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Yeah. We've shed a few tears, I'll tell you.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38CHILDREN CHAT
0:10:38 > 0:10:43But now he's started, um...his chemo,
0:10:43 > 0:10:48we just want to think along the lines that he is going to recover.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Yeah. Yep.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I know that this is a very aggressive tumour
0:11:04 > 0:11:11and I know we've got a, you know, a big uphill struggle to beat it.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15To date, you know, his chances of cure aren't good.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18They're in the order of, um...20-30%.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23So that's his chances of being cured, assuming that you can
0:11:23 > 0:11:25give him the treatment that we've currently recommended
0:11:25 > 0:11:27for this type of tumour.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Right, there we have it.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Amazing, isn't it? Huh!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Between rounds of chemotherapy, Mikey is allowed home.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Hello, Mikey!- This is his first time back in a month.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01There you go, little buddy. You all right?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Hello, Phoebe!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- EXCITED CHATTER - Hello!- Hello!
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Yay!
0:12:07 > 0:12:12This is Mikey's bead of courage. It's got his name on.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15And each of these represent each treatment he has,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18every sleepover he has.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24- Hello? Where's he gone, then? - Toilet.- Ah, right.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Oh, right.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Then there was a decision
0:12:28 > 0:12:32which of the brothers and sisters should know.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36- And the only ones we really have told is...- The older ones know.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Because they understand what's going on.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42- The younger ones just know that he's not been well.- Yeah.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44That he's a poorly little boy.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- We've told the older ones that he could die.- Yeah.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- That must have been a really difficult conversation.- Yeah.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53It was a shock, wasn't it, my darling?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- HE SOBS - Hey.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06CHILDREN CHAT
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I think he's a strong boy. I think he can pull through.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15He'll get through this, I think. Yeah.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20News of Mikey's diagnosis has travelled fast in his small village.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Gifts and kind words have quickly followed.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28The village raised that for me.
0:13:29 > 0:13:37Dad's going to put it on my bed and, um...I'm going to sleep on it.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Because this one's got springs poking out.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Starting treatment means handing over control of our bodies.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Try and relax. I know it's dead difficult.- I can't.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- I really do try, but... - I know it's really hard.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01There's nothing for it but to wait
0:14:01 > 0:14:03for any side-effects to come knocking.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Nine months afterwards, after I'd had my op?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08They gave us Viagra and it didn't work.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11So...I was actually seeing the specialist, he said,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14"You'll have to go to my erection clinic." I said, "You what?!"
0:14:14 > 0:14:18You go into a room with a nurse and she's explaining all this
0:14:18 > 0:14:22and you've got no trousers on and you're thinking, "Yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26"I don't fancy that needle stuck in there, thank you very much."
0:14:28 > 0:14:32The one that's always near the top of the watch list is losing our hair.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35While your hair's coming out, everything will drop into it,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38instead of it going all over you and on your pillow.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Because I've just got visions of it just starting to come out
0:14:41 > 0:14:42and I'll be bald.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48She said she was having an afro, as well, at one point!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50We do them, as well, if you want to try that on?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- I wouldn't mind, actually, you know. - You want to?- Yeah.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55THEY LAUGH
0:14:55 > 0:14:57All she needs on now is her disco pants
0:14:57 > 0:15:00and she'll be doing her Saturday Night Fever!
0:15:03 > 0:15:06The first thing you need to do is grab hold of that back section there.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08OK, can you do that?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12That's it.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Two months ago, 17-year-old Phoebe had a large tumour removed,
0:15:15 > 0:15:18along with the kidney it was attached to.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I was, at that point, clinging on to the hope of, yes,
0:15:21 > 0:15:23OK, I'll have my kidney out,
0:15:23 > 0:15:27but people have that all the time, people survive with one kidney.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30That's fine because it will only be a couple of weeks of pain
0:15:30 > 0:15:33after the operation and then I'll be fine.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37You'll probably feel the difference. It'll grip a bit better.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41She now needs further treatment to stop the cancer coming back.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43And this includes chemotherapy.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47It really, really upset me when I found out.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49It felt like things couldn't really get much worse
0:15:49 > 0:15:52because she started going through the side-effects,
0:15:52 > 0:15:57such as loss of fertility, loss of hair and, um...
0:15:57 > 0:16:01It just felt like someone was punching me repeatedly.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04So, whereabouts are you with your treatment? Have you started?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Yeah. I had two days of it.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12Phoebe was, up until the summer of this year, six months ago,
0:16:12 > 0:16:16or less, she was just a perfectly normal, happy,
0:16:16 > 0:16:18high-achieving teenager.
0:16:18 > 0:16:24Now we're looking down the barrel of that dreaded cancer word.
0:16:25 > 0:16:31The consultant said that their aim is Phoebe being cured long-term.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34They have only spoken in positive terms.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Yeah, they've only spoken in positive terms.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Try not to brush it too much at the moment
0:16:43 > 0:16:46in case you get more in the hairbrush than you would hope for.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Right.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52Phoebe will have eight months of chemotherapy in the teenage unit
0:16:52 > 0:16:54at the Royal Marsden Hospital in Surrey.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57But it's possible that chemotherapy alone will not be enough
0:16:57 > 0:17:00to guarantee that any rogue cancer cells are killed.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- Hi.- Dr Henry Mandeville. Very nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07- Hello, hello. Nice to meet you.- Hi there.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11She's come today with her mum and boyfriend to discuss her options.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15From the operation that you had, we believe the surgeons hopefully have
0:17:15 > 0:17:18removed everything, but it's just weighing up the risks of
0:17:18 > 0:17:22there being microscopic cells there that we can't see.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25And that would be the reason for giving radiotherapy in addition.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28I was just on my bed at the Royal Marsden
0:17:28 > 0:17:32and just feeling like I wanted to escape.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35The other component is there is another form of radiotherapy,
0:17:35 > 0:17:37proton radiotherapy,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40which currently, there's not proton radiotherapy in the UK,
0:17:40 > 0:17:46but we have funding through the NHS to support proton therapy abroad.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Proton radiotherapy is highly targeted, which means far less damage
0:17:52 > 0:17:55to surrounding organs than traditional radiotherapy.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58The argument for protons is that it should have
0:17:58 > 0:18:01a lower risk of long-term effects.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04As Phoebe's tumour was growing towards her heart,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07it's vitally important to minimise any risk.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11But it'll mean spending nine weeks in America receiving treatment.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Then the decision really comes down to you, Phoebe, and to your family.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Phoebe needs to choose between having conventional radiotherapy
0:18:22 > 0:18:26and proton radiotherapy, which is a relatively new form of treatment
0:18:26 > 0:18:29and where the long-term effects aren't yet fully known.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34It was just so shocking because I just thought,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37well, if it's not treatment that you can get in England,
0:18:37 > 0:18:39is that a bit sort of...?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42I mean, I knew that it would be legitimate and everything,
0:18:42 > 0:18:44but it just sounded a bit...
0:18:45 > 0:18:47It perhaps wasn't very reassuring for me.
0:18:49 > 0:18:55Kent has been put in the stocks because, effectively,
0:18:55 > 0:18:58because he's King Lear's messenger.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Do you understand it?
0:19:00 > 0:19:01I'm trying to.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03While she undergoes treatment,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Phoebe's trying to continue her schoolwork.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Before this, I placed my identity a lot on school.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14It's definitely taken away quite a lot of my identity,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17so I've set myself the aim of
0:19:17 > 0:19:19completing my English A level this year.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21She is still willing to work.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23I think if I was in her situation,
0:19:23 > 0:19:25I would not even consider doing an A level.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- Could you hold this? - Yeah, sure. Do you want me to...?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30No, no, no. Just hold that.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Shortly before her diagnosis, she and Alex had got together.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Now, as the length of her treatment's become apparent,
0:19:36 > 0:19:40he's delayed starting university to be with her.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42He wanted to spend time with me this year,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45helping me get through treatment.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48It's really amazing, especially considering that
0:19:48 > 0:19:50before I got my diagnosis,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53we had only been together for about two months.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56So it's pretty incredible!
0:20:00 > 0:20:02No-one wants to make life or death decisions,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05but cancer forces us to do just that.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Should it be this treatment, that treatment, or no treatment at all?
0:20:12 > 0:20:16I was determined I wanted the operation, but when he said
0:20:16 > 0:20:19there's no guarantee it won't come back in a year,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22I thought, well, why go through all that just for that?
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- Have you been to school?- Yeah.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29I go to school on Wednesday and I go to nursery on Tuesday.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oh, do you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:36You know, I were going over and over it again.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37It was just nattering me.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41And I knew I had to make my mind up one way or the other.
0:20:43 > 0:20:48And I don't want the operation and I don't want chemo.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52It was really hard to hear that...there was no hope
0:20:52 > 0:20:55and that, actually, she wasn't going to go down any of them avenues.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- But it was almost a massive relief. - Mm.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01She can have a very dignified, quiet end,
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- can't she, with us with her?- Mm.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07Which we don't wish to think about, really, but we have to, don't we?
0:21:08 > 0:21:13Why be poorly when you can have quality of life? That's what I want.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16So, you know, I just want to see my family and carry on.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18I'm not looking on the black side.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- # La-la! #- Yeah!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- 1990.- Sarah, yeah, Sarah.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26SHE CHUCKLES
0:21:26 > 0:21:29'It's lovely. I love my family.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33'I've got three daughters, eight grandchildren,
0:21:33 > 0:21:35'17 great-grandchildren.'
0:21:35 > 0:21:37They're lovely, them. I haven't seen them for a long while.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40'Yeah, we are close, yeah, yeah.'
0:21:40 > 0:21:45This is me. Me and my spouse.
0:21:45 > 0:21:4850 years together and he died at home.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50He died in my arms in the bathroom.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52He had a heart attack.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55'My nana is, I don't know, she's just a really special person.'
0:21:55 > 0:21:59She's very... I don't know anyone else like her, let's put it that way.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04That's Sarah having a bath. She was a lovely baby, was Sarah.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06'We were close before, definitely,
0:22:06 > 0:22:10'but it's definitely developed even more in the last ten years.'
0:22:10 > 0:22:14- You've got my necklace on, haven't you, love?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- I love this necklace.- Yeah, it's a lovely necklace, is that.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18I'm glad you're wearing it.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21She's courting. I don't know when they're getting married,
0:22:21 > 0:22:26but I says, "I want to be living when you two get married, so don't wait too long."
0:22:26 > 0:22:29SHE LAUGHS
0:22:29 > 0:22:34Everybody dies, but we know Mum has not got as long as she would like.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35And I said, "You know, Mum,
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- "you need to cram in everything you want to do."- Have a bucket list.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Have a bucket list, have something going on.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45We'll have to get our heads together, Mum, and think.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49- Leave it to you.- No, no, it's got to be your wish list.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- I don't want to go to Morecambe, that's for sure.- Right, OK.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Because there's nothing at Morecambe.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56What's the first thing that comes to your mind?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Ballet.- There you go.- The ballet.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- Ballet comes first to mind.- Maybe we should take...- Seaside next.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06Maybe we should take you to London to see, um... At Covent Garden.
0:23:06 > 0:23:07- See what?- See the Royal Ballet.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Oh, I'd love to go. I'd love to see the Royal Ballet.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I'm going to get spoilt, aren't I?
0:23:18 > 0:23:22We're all someone's mother, father, son, daughter, friend.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- I've always come with him. - Do you not find it boring?
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Well, I usually bring a paper or something like that to do
0:23:29 > 0:23:32and I think about things.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- So, are you happy with that one? - Yeah.- You look lovely.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Do you think so?- Yeah.- It looks nice.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40- It really suits you. - It does suit me, doesn't it?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- That's what you need, your family around you.- Yeah.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- That's what daughters are here for, aren't they?- Aw!
0:23:45 > 0:23:49I said to her, "I couldn't have got through it without you. Everybody."
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Because it's a big journey, isn't it?
0:23:51 > 0:23:55- Course it is, course it is. - And you're frightened.- Course.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Aw, don't cry. You're getting me off now.- I'm sorry!
0:23:59 > 0:24:02MACHINES BEEP
0:24:02 > 0:24:05As long as they get my husband better, it doesn't matter.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09You all right, Mikey?
0:24:11 > 0:24:15'Today, he's back on the chemotherapy.'
0:24:17 > 0:24:19HE EXHALES
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Then there'll be a lot more of this, with his hair falling out.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26It started to a couple of days ago.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30It's a shame, he had lovely hair. But there you go.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33But ten days' later, Mikey's chemotherapy
0:24:33 > 0:24:36is having more of an impact than just hair loss.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Oh, dear.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45You're going to be a very, very brave boy, yeah?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47His temperature was dangerously high
0:24:47 > 0:24:50and he's been rushed to paediatric critical care.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55MACHINE BEEPS
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I don't like it in here cos of all the noise.
0:25:05 > 0:25:10Screaming and shouting.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Crying.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22To see a child suffer like that, you know, it is a bit daunting
0:25:22 > 0:25:26and when it's your own child and you realise, you know,
0:25:26 > 0:25:30the pain that they suffer, it's not nice.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33He urgently needs to continue his treatment
0:25:33 > 0:25:35to prevent any further growth of the tumour,
0:25:35 > 0:25:37but fluid from around his brain
0:25:37 > 0:25:40is collecting in pockets under his scalp.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44This and his high temperature has forced them to delay treatment.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47I'll swap these ones around, Mikey.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Oh, there's Mummy back.- Hello, Mum.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58I...
0:25:59 > 0:26:02..feel anxious about his treatment.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07We're only four weeks into his chemotherapy
0:26:07 > 0:26:12and already we're hitting some quite significant problems.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13They're not unexpected problems.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Do you want to pop the new one on?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Good morning!- Morning!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22So, when we had a look at this yesterday, it was big, it was soft.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26'The problem that he's got with this abnormal collection of spinal fluid
0:26:26 > 0:26:30'at the back of his neck needs addressing
0:26:30 > 0:26:32'and this has been drained several times.'
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- We've been through this before, haven't we?- Yeah, he's been so good.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38You've been brave every single time.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Of course, that then makes me anxious
0:26:40 > 0:26:43that we're maybe ending up with some delays in his treatment.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46'I know that it's in his best interests
0:26:46 > 0:26:48'that he has his radiotherapy'
0:26:48 > 0:26:52as soon after his initial diagnosis as possible.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Keep your eyes open, keep looking at me.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Keep smiling. You're doing brilliant.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01- How you going, Mike? - Fine.- Yeah?
0:27:01 > 0:27:03That's a good boy.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Phoebe has decided that proton radiotherapy is the right thing
0:27:11 > 0:27:15for her, and she, Alex and her mum are on their way to Florida.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Until proton radiotherapy arrives in the UK in 2018,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27the NHS pays for some patients and their families
0:27:27 > 0:27:30to travel abroad for treatment.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40I think that chime thing
0:27:40 > 0:27:43is when people have finished their treatment, they ring the bell.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- That's really lovely.- Yeah.- Aw!
0:27:50 > 0:27:53Would it be better with the wig off?
0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Actually, yes, it would, yeah. - OK.- Yeah, yeah.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58You actually fooled me there, that's a pretty good one.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00I didn't even know that.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04Yeah, we want as consistent as we can be.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Phoebe will have daily bursts of proton radiation
0:28:07 > 0:28:10around the site of the original tumour,
0:28:10 > 0:28:13in the hope of eradicating any remaining cancer cells
0:28:13 > 0:28:16with as little collateral damage as possible.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21You know, it's so lovely for her that you're here
0:28:21 > 0:28:24because otherwise she'd have no-one her age.
0:28:24 > 0:28:29- It'd just be Mum! It's really tough.- Mmm.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38After I was first diagnosed,
0:28:38 > 0:28:42I kept on saying to myself, "I'm not going to let this affect me,"
0:28:42 > 0:28:45and obviously, you know, that's completely naive.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48It affects you and so there's, yeah,
0:28:48 > 0:28:51a slow transition into realising that naivety.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57"My name is Phoebe and welcome to my blog.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59"I've been procrastinating doing something like this
0:28:59 > 0:29:02"for a ridiculously long time.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05"At first, I just wanted to forget everything.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08"I couldn't conceive of a day where I would want to reminisce
0:29:08 > 0:29:12"and harken back to my time in intensive care,
0:29:12 > 0:29:15"but that was six months ago now and a lot has changed."
0:29:17 > 0:29:19- TEARFULLY: - I think writing the blog,
0:29:19 > 0:29:22it's bringing back all of these memories and so...
0:29:23 > 0:29:27Cos I didn't kind of... I just bottled it all up at the time.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32I don't really know what to do about hair.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Why do you think you've suddenly started thinking about
0:29:34 > 0:29:36whether to cut it off, though?
0:29:36 > 0:29:40Because I was just looking in the mirror at the proton centre today
0:29:40 > 0:29:43when I was in the changing rooms and I just thought,
0:29:43 > 0:29:46"It's not kind of a bald look,
0:29:46 > 0:29:51"but it's not a look where I'm a girl with kind of nice hair.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54"It's just kind of weird wispy bits,"
0:29:54 > 0:29:57so I was just thinking, maybe I should just be one or the other.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Goodbye, sweet hair!
0:30:02 > 0:30:03Yes, I'm ready.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Ready?
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- Just do it.- Just do it?- OK.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16OK.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Oh...
0:30:21 > 0:30:24A lot of people, when they heard that I was carrying on with
0:30:24 > 0:30:27the English A-level, were saying, "Oh, that's absolutely amazing.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29"You should be so proud of yourself,"
0:30:29 > 0:30:33and so it was quite a difficult thing for me to do, to accept
0:30:33 > 0:30:38that this was something that was affecting me and I couldn't do it.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43I guess it just feels like an injustice
0:30:43 > 0:30:45when kind of, with all of the work stuff,
0:30:45 > 0:30:49and maybe that's why I'm feeling like this because...
0:30:49 > 0:30:51Sorry.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04Tell me if you want me to stop filming.
0:31:12 > 0:31:13I'm so proud of you.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15You're my strong girl.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24I hadn't really thought it would matter,
0:31:24 > 0:31:26but it's just a bit shocking.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Yeah.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35I was going to meet my friend in Manchester
0:31:35 > 0:31:39and I got on the train and saw a lady with a shaved head
0:31:39 > 0:31:43and I remember sitting there - I'll never forget that moment -
0:31:43 > 0:31:46and thinking, "Oh, if I have to have chemo, I'm going to lose this."
0:31:46 > 0:31:49Yeah, your hair, yeah. God!
0:31:49 > 0:31:53- And I just thought, "Oh, you're overreacting."- All right.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56- Can you just hold on to the front there?- Yeah, yeah.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Is it too curly for you?
0:31:58 > 0:32:01No, it's not too curly cos my hair can be really, really curly.
0:32:01 > 0:32:02I prefer the straight one.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04What do you mean, you prefer the straight one?
0:32:04 > 0:32:07- Do you ever have your hair straight? - Yeah.- Hang on a minute...
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Remember that time when you had your hair done
0:32:09 > 0:32:11and I really fancied you and it was straight?
0:32:11 > 0:32:14That was a good night, wasn't it?
0:32:14 > 0:32:16What you trying to say, "I don't fancy you now"?
0:32:16 > 0:32:17Of course I fancy you!
0:32:23 > 0:32:26It's nearly nine months since June decided not to have treatment.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29Stunning! Look at that, eh?
0:32:30 > 0:32:33She was given up to a year to live.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35I made my own decision and I made the right one.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38I'm doing all right, love, I'm doing all right.
0:32:38 > 0:32:42And I'm going out a bit now.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46# The sun has got his hat on Hip-hip-hip-hooray
0:32:46 > 0:32:50# The sun has got his hat on and he's going out to play... #
0:32:50 > 0:32:52SHE LAUGHS
0:32:52 > 0:32:57- Five hours and the curtains'll be raising.- Mmm. Yeah, it'll be lovely.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00'I've always wanted to go to Covent Garden
0:33:00 > 0:33:04'and I've only been to one ballet.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06'I've never been able to afford to go.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10'So I've had my wish, haven't I?
0:33:10 > 0:33:12'I'm going to enjoy the time I've got left.'
0:33:12 > 0:33:14BEEPING
0:33:20 > 0:33:24We've had a wonderful marriage, haven't we, really?
0:33:24 > 0:33:28- We have, we've been very lucky. - We've been in many places.
0:33:28 > 0:33:33- We've been, really, nearly all round the world.- Twice.- Twice!
0:33:33 > 0:33:36If you can do it today, do it.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37Don't wait until tomorrow
0:33:37 > 0:33:40because you never know what's round the corner.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46If you'd asked me 11 years ago when I'd first got cancer,
0:33:46 > 0:33:49would I be able to climb Machu Picchu,
0:33:49 > 0:33:51I would have said no, you know.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53But I did it, you know?
0:33:53 > 0:33:56I was on chemo at the time and people were saying,
0:33:56 > 0:33:58"You can't go to Peru. You can't go to Brazil.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01"You'll get all sorts of infections," you know?
0:34:01 > 0:34:06And I went to the Amazon jungle, you know, lived in the Amazon.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10I did, you know... Amazing things I've done, you know.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15- Are we in this one? - Yeah, I'll help you down the steps.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18- You got a tissue? Everybody got a tissue?- Got one.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20You got a tissue, Sarah?
0:34:23 > 0:34:25APPLAUSE
0:34:29 > 0:34:32CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:34:44 > 0:34:48'I remember in the performance kind of glancing at her and seeing her.'
0:34:48 > 0:34:50She was just mesmerised.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59It's brilliant, isn't it? It's brilliant.
0:35:03 > 0:35:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:10 > 0:35:14- Oh, fantastic!- Oh, that were beautiful. Beautiful.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20- That were lovely.- It's been far more emotional watching you in there!
0:35:20 > 0:35:23- Thanks, love.- Thank you.
0:35:24 > 0:35:25Oh, dear.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32- You enjoyed it?- Oh, I enjoyed it, love. I could watch it again.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35I could watch it all again.
0:35:42 > 0:35:46Another one of my goals gone, thanks to you.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50- Be a good mummy.- I will.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55Last night after the performance, June took a turn for the worse.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I were all right when I was sat down,
0:35:57 > 0:36:01but it were when I got up, my legs were like jelly.
0:36:01 > 0:36:02They're just like jelly.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05I would have fallen if everybody hadn't have helped me
0:36:05 > 0:36:08cos my legs just wouldn't go.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11- Yesterday was a little bit of a worry for us, Mum.- I know, love.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14- We were very concerned about you. - I understand.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17'It was really quite... You know, we were worried about her.'
0:36:17 > 0:36:22We were devastated. We thought that this would be... We're on...
0:36:22 > 0:36:26You know, we're already on that journey, kind of thing.
0:36:26 > 0:36:31I know we're on the journey, but on that final kind of journey.
0:36:32 > 0:36:37- Oh, Sandra, don't. - Things are changing, Mum.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- Things ARE changing. - No, they're not.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Not changing like you think they are.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47You don't cry as easily as you get older. I used to cry at everything.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Mikey has recovered his strength
0:36:51 > 0:36:54and has begun the final stage of his treatment -
0:36:54 > 0:36:57a daily dose of radiotherapy for five weeks.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00So, after a fairly rocky start,
0:37:00 > 0:37:05he is now midway into his radiotherapy
0:37:05 > 0:37:08and we're also being able to give chemotherapy alongside that
0:37:08 > 0:37:11and he's tolerating his treatment now very well.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Do you want your beads?
0:37:22 > 0:37:24MUSIC: If You're Happy And You Know It
0:37:24 > 0:37:28Because he's doing so well, Mikey's able to spend more time at home.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Ha-wa!
0:37:36 > 0:37:40'Well, we are looking ahead to the day we're called in
0:37:40 > 0:37:44'and they say it's good news, the treatment's worked.'
0:37:44 > 0:37:48That's what we hope.
0:37:48 > 0:37:49Here you are, put this on your lap.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51After four months of treatment,
0:37:51 > 0:37:55Mikey's able to go into school for half a day to see his friends.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59- Have you got your pencil case? - Yeah.- Are you ready to go?- No!
0:37:59 > 0:38:05- Just a bit unnerving, I suspect, isn't it?- You a bit nervous?- No.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07- No?- Yeah, I am.
0:38:07 > 0:38:12- You are a bit. You'll be fine. - I've never been to school like this.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Bye!
0:38:15 > 0:38:16Yep.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22- Hello!- Hello! - What have you been doing?
0:38:22 > 0:38:28- Nothing much, really.- I bet it's been boring in hospital.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:38:28 > 0:38:29- Are you feeling well?- Yeah.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32A couple of the children have brought you something.
0:38:32 > 0:38:36- Thank you.- I've brought you a card I made.- Thank you.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Thank you.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Careful you don't whack your fingers, Mikey!
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- Grrr!- Aaah!
0:38:48 > 0:38:50You caught my hand.
0:38:50 > 0:38:54- Have you missed everyone in school? - Yeah.- We've missed you.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01- Shall I tell you what we've got to come?- Yes, please.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04We've got, I think, two lots of Christmas puddings are coming,
0:39:04 > 0:39:06but obviously there's, you know, ten of them, isn't there,
0:39:06 > 0:39:08so I think it's...
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Everybody obviously learnt about Mikey and, you know,
0:39:10 > 0:39:12"What can we do? What can we do?"
0:39:12 > 0:39:14And it's really difficult
0:39:14 > 0:39:16and I think people want to do something
0:39:16 > 0:39:19and it's just really hard to know what to do,
0:39:19 > 0:39:22but, obviously, coming up to Christmas, a hamper
0:39:22 > 0:39:27seemed like an obvious thing to do and everybody wants to help.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39- It's Mrs Cardy.- Is it?
0:39:39 > 0:39:42- Is it Miss Cardy?- Yeah, and Karen.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44Yeah, but they're not coming here, are they?
0:39:44 > 0:39:48- They are.- Are they?- Come on, then. Mikey, come on.
0:39:48 > 0:39:50No, just open the door.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52Hiya!
0:39:52 > 0:39:57- Oh, my goodness! - We had a bit of a whipround.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59LAUGHTER
0:39:59 > 0:40:02A few trips to do!
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Sneak peek! A sneak peek!
0:40:07 > 0:40:12- Ooh!- What do you think, Mikey? - A sneaky peek!- A sneaky peek?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14There's an awful lot to sneaky peek at.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17- Anything you like the look of in here?- Yeah!- Thank you.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19I'm so overwhelmed...
0:40:19 > 0:40:20Do you know what, I think
0:40:20 > 0:40:25it's just a very small thing that we could do when times are a bit tough.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28- Thanks a lot!- Aw!
0:40:29 > 0:40:32Just to make life a little bit easier for you.
0:40:32 > 0:40:37- It's so kind of everybody. - Everybody wanted to help.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40I hope it just makes things a little easier.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46- Tell everybody, thank you. - We will, of course we will. We will.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58It's five days since June returned from London.
0:41:01 > 0:41:04- Hello?- Hi!- Hello, love.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08- You all right, Mum?- So, Nana... - What?
0:41:08 > 0:41:12- I've got something to tell you. - What? Go on, tell me.- Wait a minute.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16Oh, blooming heck! What's up with him? Hell!
0:41:16 > 0:41:18What the heck's up with him?
0:41:18 > 0:41:22Oh, congratulations, love! Oh!
0:41:22 > 0:41:26- Next step's the wedding.- Yeah. - I'm really pleased for you, love.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28I am, it's lovely. Lovely solitaire.
0:41:28 > 0:41:32It's a nice surprise, is that, today, though.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35He knows I want to be at your wedding.
0:41:35 > 0:41:40I'm not planning on going anywhere. I'm staying here as long as I can.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42You won't get rid of me yet.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44Oh, that's lovely.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53It's the final day of Phoebe's proton radiotherapy in Florida.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03TUBULAR BELLS CHIME
0:42:17 > 0:42:19She can now return home to England
0:42:19 > 0:42:23to complete her final cycle of chemotherapy.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25I really like that colour.
0:42:26 > 0:42:31- That blue is really nice, I think. It would suit you.- Yeah.
0:42:31 > 0:42:36"Cancer is random and it isn't put there to teach us anything.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40"There is no answer to the 'why me?' question -
0:42:40 > 0:42:44"just as valid, in reality, to ask, 'Why not me?'
0:42:45 > 0:42:47"So there is no moral to the story.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49"There are just the events as they happened
0:42:49 > 0:42:51"and that's what I'm going to write about."
0:42:51 > 0:42:54- OK.- So, I think you just go like that...- Style me!
0:42:55 > 0:43:00- Like that and over there. - Careful!- I'm trying.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03Like, that over there and that round the back, like that.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06- Don't poke my eyes! - I'm trying not to.
0:43:08 > 0:43:13Whatever I'd gone through, we'd gone through as a couple.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15I've never - fortunately, thanks to you -
0:43:15 > 0:43:19- never had to go through it on my own.- Mmm.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21I mean, I shudder sometimes and think,
0:43:21 > 0:43:23"Could I have gone through it on my own?" And I think, "No."
0:43:30 > 0:43:34When Mikey was diagnosed, he was given a 20-30% chance of cure.
0:43:34 > 0:43:38His treatment's now coming to an end and he's coping well,
0:43:38 > 0:43:41but the time's approaching for the first guide
0:43:41 > 0:43:44on how these odds are playing out.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46- He needs another scan of his head. - Yes, sure.
0:43:46 > 0:43:50So, it will be very important when he has the scan to say,
0:43:50 > 0:43:53you know, "Is there anything there?"
0:43:53 > 0:43:57If the tumour comes back, that would be a very serious situation.
0:43:57 > 0:44:00- Mm-hmm, yeah.- And I think we would really have
0:44:00 > 0:44:06a very honest conversation about what the situation is
0:44:06 > 0:44:08and what his chances of being cured and I can tell you now
0:44:08 > 0:44:10that if this comes back,
0:44:10 > 0:44:13this particularly horrid sort of tumour, you know,
0:44:13 > 0:44:18the chances of him being cured long term are really, really slim.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21He doesn't really want to think that it's not going to work.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23No, but I think once you know it's something bad,
0:44:23 > 0:44:25you've got to have hope.
0:44:30 > 0:44:31Hmm.
0:44:31 > 0:44:39I don't actually fancy telling Mikey the worst-case scenario, not yet.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Look at all these big buildings over here.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46There, that big building there.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49There's that big screen up there, look.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53- Whoa!- Massive, isn't it?
0:44:53 > 0:44:55While Mikey's future remains uncertain,
0:44:55 > 0:44:57Mary's taking the opportunity
0:44:57 > 0:45:00to do some things with him he's never done before.
0:45:01 > 0:45:06- Wow! Wow, look at this. - It's Big Ben!- It's Big Ben!
0:45:06 > 0:45:08It's up there, look.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Look at the big wheel. There we go.
0:45:14 > 0:45:17It's massive, isn't it? Thank you.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Whereabouts shall we go, Mikey?
0:45:23 > 0:45:24Want to sit here?
0:45:24 > 0:45:28Yeah, shall we see what we can see? Look over there.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33- Have a good look round. - That's the whole of London?
0:45:33 > 0:45:35Yeah, it's the whole of London.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Waterloo Bridge...
0:45:40 > 0:45:42It's wonderful, really.
0:45:44 > 0:45:48Yeah, it's nice to spend that extra time together.
0:46:03 > 0:46:07It just meant something, you know, so, so special.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11- RECORDED VOICE: - Please stand in the photo areas
0:46:11 > 0:46:14as indicated by the footprints on the capsule floor
0:46:14 > 0:46:16and remember to smile.
0:46:23 > 0:46:24Whoo!
0:46:26 > 0:46:28No!
0:46:32 > 0:46:37But, you know, I'm glad I spent the time with him, really.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48I think for your parents, it's awful, yeah,
0:46:48 > 0:46:55cos my parents are in their 80s and quite fit and healthy
0:46:55 > 0:47:00so they've got the prospect of, you know, seeing me die.
0:47:05 > 0:47:10Yeah, that's the worst. That's the worst thing, really.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17It's now nearly a year since June turned down treatment
0:47:17 > 0:47:19and she's recently had to spend a few days in hospital.
0:47:19 > 0:47:24'That week, I'd been sick every night, you know, sick as a dog.
0:47:24 > 0:47:29'I had two blood transfusions, I had plasma. I had all sorts.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33'I'm not in any pain at all. No, I'm not in any pain.
0:47:35 > 0:47:40'The tumour is growing. Mine's moving now over my stomach.'
0:47:40 > 0:47:45I don't know which way it's going, but you just use your imagination.
0:47:46 > 0:47:48As long as it doesn't come up my throat.
0:47:48 > 0:47:52And the doctor says, "You've been lucky to have a year."
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Oh, dear, Mavis. We haven't much money...
0:47:59 > 0:48:02- BOTH:- But we do see life.
0:48:02 > 0:48:06- Have another piece if you want, Mavis, there's plenty.- No.
0:48:06 > 0:48:10- No, I've had enough, June. - Are you slimming?- No.
0:48:11 > 0:48:12I thought you might be!
0:48:12 > 0:48:15THEY LAUGH
0:48:15 > 0:48:20We've been friends 76 years, yeah.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24I've seen her deteriorate, yeah, yeah.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27You will go down all at once.
0:48:27 > 0:48:29Yeah, I know I will. Thank you, Mavis(!)
0:48:29 > 0:48:34"All at once"! She's cheerful, isn't she? I know that, I know that.
0:48:34 > 0:48:36I know just how I'll go, love.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39I know all about it, but I don't want to dwell on it.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41I don't want to dwell on it, Mavis.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44No. But I'm looking forward to this wedding.
0:48:44 > 0:48:50- I hope I'm all right for the wedding.- When is it?- It's in spring.
0:48:51 > 0:48:54- We don't fall out, do we? - Not very often, no.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Well, nothing's ever perfect.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Sometimes, Frieda tries to mollycoddle me,
0:49:01 > 0:49:04but we rub along very well together.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06- BEEPING - Is that my beep?
0:49:06 > 0:49:08- I think it is.- Oh, good.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11That means I'm nearly at the end of my treatments.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Even after treatment,
0:49:14 > 0:49:17our relationship with cancer is never over.
0:49:17 > 0:49:21Phoebe's recovered enough to think about returning to school.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32How are you? How is everything?
0:49:32 > 0:49:35- We've missed you so much. - I've missed you too.
0:49:35 > 0:49:36Yeah, it feels great.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39I mean, gosh, I don't really know where to start.
0:49:39 > 0:49:42'To kind of be going back into it, it feels almost like going
0:49:42 > 0:49:44'back in time slightly,'
0:49:44 > 0:49:46so, yeah, it is exciting.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48It's going to be so weird going back to school.
0:49:48 > 0:49:49But nice.
0:49:49 > 0:49:53'I think the proton beam was definitely the right decision.
0:49:53 > 0:49:54'They wouldn't have suggested it'
0:49:54 > 0:49:57if they thought it was going to be exactly the same
0:49:57 > 0:49:59as the thing that they could give at the Marsden.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03'She's been willing to admit when she's annoyed.'
0:50:03 > 0:50:08She's been able to laugh. She's been able to find a happy period.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11She's been able to thank her mum for all the work that she's done
0:50:11 > 0:50:13and appreciate all the people around her and, of course,
0:50:13 > 0:50:15she's been pissed off and suffered with it,
0:50:15 > 0:50:16but she's been one of those people
0:50:16 > 0:50:18who simply goes about it in the best way for them
0:50:18 > 0:50:20and I'm really proud of her for that.
0:50:20 > 0:50:24I think this experience has really bonded us, actually, and, you know,
0:50:24 > 0:50:30without this experience, we would just be such a different couple.
0:50:32 > 0:50:35I think cancer has become a large part of my life
0:50:35 > 0:50:40and I think just slowly beginning to push it out of my life will be...
0:50:40 > 0:50:44I mean, not completely, but just creating some room slowly
0:50:44 > 0:50:48to push it away, to get some other stuff in there.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Mikey's come for the critical scan
0:50:57 > 0:50:59to see what effect his treatment's had.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02This is the Darth Vader moment.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04'Well, we're not building up our hopes
0:51:04 > 0:51:07'until we've actually heard the result of the scan.
0:51:07 > 0:51:11'We'll celebrate a bit if it's what we're all longing to hear.'
0:51:15 > 0:51:18Waiting on tenterhooks at the moment.
0:51:26 > 0:51:27In North Yorkshire,
0:51:27 > 0:51:31it's the day everyone's been hoping June will live to see.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36I think once the decision for no treatment was made,
0:51:36 > 0:51:37she stuck to her guns.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44It said it were going to be nice today.
0:51:44 > 0:51:50I'm right pleased cos what it were like yesterday, all that snow...
0:51:51 > 0:51:55'It's something that I never thought was going to happen.'
0:51:55 > 0:52:00I'm just feeling so relieved that she's actually...there.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04Isn't it lovely? Yeah, lovely.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11- Will I do?- You'll do!
0:52:28 > 0:52:31I think this is the most nerve-racking part, eh?
0:52:38 > 0:52:40Fine.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43So, I mean, I know what you want to know is the scan result
0:52:43 > 0:52:47that you've had and I'm sorry you've had to wait a little bit,
0:52:47 > 0:52:49but I've got the scan result
0:52:49 > 0:52:53- and it's, erm, it's fine.- Good.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56You don't have to expect bad news.
0:52:56 > 0:53:03- So we cannot see any definite tumour on the scan.- Right, good.
0:53:03 > 0:53:08- Which is great.- Yeah.- Which is absolutely great.- It is, yeah.- Yay!
0:53:08 > 0:53:10- You know, it's really good news. - Yeah, it is.
0:53:12 > 0:53:16In terms of monitoring Mikey,
0:53:16 > 0:53:20he's actually going to need monitoring for ever,
0:53:20 > 0:53:23but, considering the conversations you had right at the beginning,
0:53:23 > 0:53:28it's great to be sitting here and, you know,
0:53:28 > 0:53:31let's press on forward with lots of positivity.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Yeah, yeah.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37Sounding good. That's what we wanted to hear.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45That's a weight off my mind, that. A hell of a weight.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48Mikey!
0:53:48 > 0:53:50Mikey!
0:53:50 > 0:53:56- Come on, then, this way.- Mikey! - Mikey! Give us a hug, then.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59Mikey!
0:53:59 > 0:54:03Hey, Mikey! Congratulations!
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Congratulations!
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Cancer strips us bare and confronts us
0:54:08 > 0:54:10with the harshest decisions.
0:54:10 > 0:54:14We're thankful medicine gives us a chance,
0:54:14 > 0:54:18but weighing our lives in our hands is tough.
0:54:18 > 0:54:22- Right, that's all his beads for being down there this week.- Yep.
0:54:22 > 0:54:28- And that is the final one. - Aw!- For end of treatment.
0:54:30 > 0:54:34In the end, it's our families and our friends, our communities,
0:54:34 > 0:54:36that help us to get through it.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40When this goes on, I want everybody, right, to give Mikey a big cheer.
0:54:40 > 0:54:44THEY CHEER
0:54:53 > 0:54:55'It's a complete and utter miracle, isn't it,
0:54:55 > 0:54:57'what the specialists have done.'
0:54:57 > 0:55:01And we're glad we've got our little boy, you know, still.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05I mean, whether a person has the will to fight cancers
0:55:05 > 0:55:10and that, I don't really know, but because we're a large family
0:55:10 > 0:55:14and we've got the love of each other and that, it's helped us to cope.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27'Nobody lives for ever and, I mean, if you've had a good life,
0:55:27 > 0:55:30'you should be thankful for what you've had.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35'I've a good family so I've a lot to be thankful for and,'
0:55:35 > 0:55:38you know, I've had 84 good years.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Would you like to kiss your bride?
0:55:40 > 0:55:44APPLAUSE
0:55:54 > 0:55:59Oh, I paid for my funeral years ago, you know, cos a friend,
0:55:59 > 0:56:03she said to me one day, "I've just paid for my funeral."
0:56:03 > 0:56:07I said, "Ooh, you are morbid." She says, "No, it's plain common sense.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09"They're going up every year."
0:56:09 > 0:56:10Come on, give us a kiss, love.
0:56:13 > 0:56:17I'm not frightened of death. No, I'm not frightened of it.
0:56:26 > 0:56:32I've got a bit of a health issue. Prostate cancer. Yeah.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35Everything's been ripped away from you - all the stability,
0:56:35 > 0:56:36all the scaffolding you have
0:56:36 > 0:56:38and now you're on this little rocky road now.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41- Be good. Be strong. Be... - No time to reflect, babe.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43Can you see those two lions there?
0:56:43 > 0:56:48We're doing normal things in a world where we know it isn't normal
0:56:48 > 0:56:50because obviously Mark is so well
0:56:50 > 0:56:53and we don't understand how we could be told he's terminal.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56Dare I ask how things are with God at the moment?
0:56:56 > 0:57:00You know, I was angry. "I've done this once.
0:57:00 > 0:57:01"Why are you asking me to do this again?"
0:57:01 > 0:57:06Everybody down there have all got perfect health, just walking about.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08I just want to be down there, you know?
0:57:08 > 0:57:12I want to be back in that thing we call life.
0:57:12 > 0:57:15Are you or someone you know living with cancer?
0:57:15 > 0:57:19The Open University has produced a free booklet about how you can
0:57:19 > 0:57:22make a difference to the lives of people affected by cancer.
0:57:22 > 0:57:27To order your free copy, please call 0300 303 2465
0:57:27 > 0:57:33or go to bbc.co.uk/bigc and follow the links to the Open University.