0:00:18 > 0:00:20I came from Afghanistan.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24I was quite happy there with my family all together.
0:00:24 > 0:00:30I still remember when I was a kid, the mountains and a lot of dust
0:00:30 > 0:00:33and the houses aren't that rich like in England.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35They're like tents.
0:00:35 > 0:00:40There was some fighting and war and it started to build up.
0:00:40 > 0:00:46They were sort of taking the good areas, they started to bomb there.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52Sometimes when I looked out the window, I felt quite sad.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56So then my grandma had decided all of us go
0:00:56 > 0:00:58to a safer place in Europe.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00By the time we got to the airport,
0:01:00 > 0:01:04I remember they let my grandma in, then me but not my family.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06They said they didn't have passports.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Then they had to go back.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13We thought that they were on another plane.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17But when we got to England, they weren't there.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19We thought, something must have happened,
0:01:19 > 0:01:22they might be alive, you never know.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26I had nightmares about my mum picking me up from school
0:01:26 > 0:01:28and then when my eyes opened up,
0:01:28 > 0:01:32I realised it was just a dream, it wasn't real.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38Then, every night I was crying, I was always dreaming about them.
0:01:38 > 0:01:44It was like my bones were broken. I felt really hungry, really sad.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49I went to school, I learned new things there.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53It was really frustrating that I couldn't speak English.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55The only word I knew was yes.
0:01:55 > 0:02:00Sometimes I get embarrassed that I don't know the word.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04The thing I was doing was sitting in the corner, doing nothing,
0:02:04 > 0:02:09watching other people play and sometimes people came to play with me
0:02:09 > 0:02:11and then I started to play with them.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14I found new friends.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16I started practising football with them.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Everyone was amazed by my pictures
0:02:21 > 0:02:23because I was a really good drawer.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I had something special to show them every day,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29pictures of my family, my mum and dad, me,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Spiderman, because I like Spiderman.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35Sometimes I would draw pictures of football
0:02:35 > 0:02:38because I like football and it made me happy.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43When I keep on imagining my family, I want them to come here.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50Four-and-a-half years passed and then we had a phone call.
0:02:50 > 0:02:55My cousin said that they saw my dad in the mosque praying
0:02:55 > 0:02:57and then they handed the phone to my dad
0:02:57 > 0:03:00and I started to talk with my dad,
0:03:00 > 0:03:04my mum and dad and then I was more happy.
0:03:04 > 0:03:08My first wish would be for my mum and dad to come to this country
0:03:08 > 0:03:10because it feels like...
0:03:10 > 0:03:13It's actually going to happen but I get upset
0:03:13 > 0:03:16and I wish they could come right now.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18I can't wait for that day.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40The streets would be full of people selling food.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43The food would have...
0:03:43 > 0:03:48If you're selling food on the street, it would have flies on it.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52On the buses, because it's a really small country
0:03:52 > 0:03:55and there's lots of people stuffed in, there's no place to sit.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58If you're sat, even if you're a baby,
0:03:58 > 0:04:02you have to get off the seat for a bigger person.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06Then the streets had dust so if the wind blew,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08it would go in your eyes.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I don't know why the war started.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Eritrea, a long time ago, used to be a big country,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19then they split it with Ethiopia.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Since we split from Ethiopia, we got the Red Sea.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27The war started because they wanted the Red Sea.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31Then all this war happened, lots of people had to get away
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and we didn't have lots of airplanes
0:04:33 > 0:04:35because everybody was moving, moving.
0:04:37 > 0:04:44I remember that we had to leave when I was a young age.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49My dad couldn't come because he knew secrets.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53The guy that's leading us right now is very, very bad
0:04:53 > 0:04:55and my dad wanted to escape but he couldn't.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57They said to him,
0:04:57 > 0:05:02"If you tell people of our secrets, we will kill your wife," and me.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04He told and we had to run.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10I remember that we got on a plane then I slept.
0:05:10 > 0:05:15I knew it was a really long journey and sometimes we took buses.
0:05:15 > 0:05:23I fell asleep a lot of times. Then at the end, we arrived in England.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27It was very hard to fit in with hardly any English.
0:05:28 > 0:05:35I started school and I was very scared cos I didn't have no friends.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Everybody had groups.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42One day, this boy, who fell out with a group.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47Me and him, we said, "Why don't we be friends?"
0:05:47 > 0:05:52Then we joined other people's groups so we made lots of friends.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57A few weeks later, I came back from school.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02There were lots of ladies in my house. My mum was on the bed.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I asked her, "Why was everybody crying?"
0:06:05 > 0:06:10She said, "I have something to confess to you.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15"Your dad, he died there." I started crying, then she started crying.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17I told her to stop crying.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20She said, "I'll stop crying if you stop crying."
0:06:20 > 0:06:22We both ended up stopped crying.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27For a few days, I stopped eating.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28I only drank a little bit
0:06:28 > 0:06:31and I couldn't finish my dinner at school.
0:06:31 > 0:06:36Mum came to me and she said, "You don't have to be very upset
0:06:36 > 0:06:40"because, that is why we left home, because it was dangerous."
0:06:42 > 0:06:49I started feeling OK and it is right that we should have come here.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51It got better.
0:06:51 > 0:06:57I made a lot of friends. We don't talk about our lives at home.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59We don't talk about this stuff.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03We don't talk about sad things, we talk about good things.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06We don't mention the sad things, we act like they never happened.
0:07:06 > 0:07:11My friend, when I am feeling sad, he always comes up with a joke
0:07:11 > 0:07:13and cheers me up.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17When he is feeling sad, I come up with a joke and cheer him up.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39I was very young when my mum left me. I was three-and-a-half.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I don't know why she left me.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45People were trying to kill her or something.
0:07:45 > 0:07:50People from the church that we used to go to took care of me.
0:07:50 > 0:07:57They brought me up. I just learned to be my own mother and father.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00I thought that I had no mother or father.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02I knew she was out there somewhere for me.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08You would have 30 children eating from one plate
0:08:08 > 0:08:11and it was a really big plate.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17You only have a small amount of food. Enough to feed one person.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I did not have anything to eat for about a week.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26The only thing I survived on was water
0:08:26 > 0:08:29and that water wasn't really clean.
0:08:29 > 0:08:34It had snails and dirty stuff inside it,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36but you have no choice but to drink it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:44You would watch other kids walk past you. They would laugh at you.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46There are saying, "You are dumb."
0:08:46 > 0:08:50When people are playing, I would be sitting by myself,
0:08:50 > 0:08:56reading my book or crying and looking at others.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00I left the orphanage
0:09:00 > 0:09:06and then I got put in this big dark lorry with 200 other people.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10They started driving me away.
0:09:10 > 0:09:17Because I was the little one, I was close to the door.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20I saw this lady, she had no shoes.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24All she was wearing was a pair of jogging bottoms and a T-shirt
0:09:24 > 0:09:28and she was running and screaming my name.
0:09:28 > 0:09:33I looked at her and I remembered her face. That was my mum.
0:09:33 > 0:09:39I started crying and I know it might sound strange, but I don't know
0:09:39 > 0:09:44where I got the power, but I jumped from the back of a lorry onto her.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Then me and her started holding each other, screaming.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I could not believe it was so real.
0:09:51 > 0:09:57From that point on, everything turned around in my life.
0:09:57 > 0:10:03My mum, she went to the British Embassy and the people gave me
0:10:03 > 0:10:08a visa and we boarded the plane and we arrived in Heathrow.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14My first day at school, it was really tough.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18I mumbled because I was afraid to speak to people.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23I often got anxious and got panic attacks.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26There comes a time where I am sitting there in class
0:10:26 > 0:10:29and I don't understand what is going on.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32There is this click in the back of my mind.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35What if I get home and my mum is not there?
0:10:36 > 0:10:41That is the moment where my heart starts pumping really fast.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43I start breathing really fast.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Before you know it, I pass out.
0:10:47 > 0:10:53In school, they have created this special group.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58Whenever I am feeling angry, sad or anxious, I go there.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02There will always be someone I can talk to,
0:11:02 > 0:11:05who I can tell what is going on.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09They will try to fix it as much as possible.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14I am really improving my socialising skills.
0:11:14 > 0:11:20I am a fighter and a survivor and no matter how much you go through,
0:11:20 > 0:11:24no matter how much you suffer,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27you are always going to be accepted for who you are.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32One day, you will be like this shining star.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36At the end of every dark tunnel, there is always a rainbow.
0:11:52 > 0:11:58Life, in my country, was quite distressing.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I didn't attend school because my mother
0:12:01 > 0:12:06was a member of a particular religion that my country doesn't favour.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I could see other children around me experiencing a normal childhood,
0:12:10 > 0:12:13going to school and playing outside with their friends.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14I felt very different.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21Because, in the UK, being a Christian is not a problem, but,
0:12:21 > 0:12:26in my country, which is a predominantly Muslim country, it wasn't a favoured
0:12:26 > 0:12:32religion or tradition. My mum kept going secretly to church on Sundays.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36When the police invaded the secret services that they were having,
0:12:36 > 0:12:39the whole atmosphere was full of flames.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42It felt like everything was going to burst out.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46My mum was treated very bad from the local citizens
0:12:46 > 0:12:49and she felt like she wanted to escape somewhere.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57We secretly decided to leave. We didn't let anyone know.
0:12:57 > 0:13:03I think my father found someone to take us at the back of a lorry, I think it was.
0:13:04 > 0:13:09We were clutched together. We slept and slept.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13It was very dark so we couldn't see whether daylight had come.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15We lost track of time.
0:13:15 > 0:13:22It was a journey that we didn't know where it would lead to.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27We got to the UK.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31I began to experience the childhood that I had been dreaming about.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36I had friends, played outside very comfortably and safe.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40I had a normal family life.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43But then the decision letter came that we had been rejected
0:13:43 > 0:13:45leave to remain in this country.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48It was the letter that changed everything.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53This one piece of paper changed my whole life once again.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00At six o'clock in the morning, these huge men like monsters,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04they came to our house and put us in a van.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08They took us to a detention centre.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12There is a lot of closed doors banging all the time.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Huge walls that you can't see from.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I used to look up over the wall and think,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20"I wish I could fly and just escape."
0:14:21 > 0:14:25I can remember once I held the bars in my hands.
0:14:25 > 0:14:32I couldn't believe that I was in prison in the UK
0:14:32 > 0:14:36for doing nothing, for being a child, for escaping to safety.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42We had received good news that we would be let out
0:14:42 > 0:14:47and I started living normally once again, but with fear
0:14:47 > 0:14:50that this would happen again and it did happen again.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52They had taken us straight to the airport
0:14:52 > 0:14:56and then we were sent back to our country.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58They didn't welcome us at all.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01They looked at us with hostility and hatred.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04They just thought, OK, why did you go to that country?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Why did you go to the UK?
0:15:06 > 0:15:14And then, my mum fainted because they had hit her across the head.
0:15:14 > 0:15:21And then, we travelled from place to place, searching out some help.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23But it was obvious that we wouldn't get any help,
0:15:23 > 0:15:30so it was then that my mum decided we had to leave once again.
0:15:30 > 0:15:36And then, she found an agent and then we were brought back to the UK.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43We were taken to our new home.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47The people were very, very kind to us, very welcoming. I felt very safe.
0:15:48 > 0:15:54And I just lived normally, but there was also that fear within me
0:15:54 > 0:15:57that it could happen once again, it could happen any time.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03We had just received a phone call, I thought it was bad news once again.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06But when she said, "I have good news
0:16:06 > 0:16:08"for you, you've been granted leave to remain,"
0:16:08 > 0:16:11I just thought, "Yes, finally!"
0:16:11 > 0:16:14That was the decision that saved my whole life.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Now I'm living a normal life.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I have learned from my experiences, of course,
0:16:19 > 0:16:23and I want to become a lawyer so I can help people who've also
0:16:23 > 0:16:26experienced the same thing, because I know this problem will never end,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29people are still suffering everywhere in the world, so hopefully
0:16:29 > 0:16:33I want to become an international lawyer to save everyone!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48I am 16 years old and I am a Kurdish Iranian.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53The reason that we left Iran was that my dad disagreed with
0:16:53 > 0:16:57how things were going, he disagreed with the system.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00And I remember, my father had to leave the country.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Of course, his life was in danger when he left.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05It was kind of the story of many people
0:17:05 > 0:17:07against the Iranian Government.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I suppose my father was lucky that he got away,
0:17:09 > 0:17:12because members of my mum's family, because they were Kurdish,
0:17:12 > 0:17:14a lot of them were executed.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22The years that followed, my mum kept getting questioned
0:17:22 > 0:17:23about where my father had gone.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27I remember the night that we were leaving, everyone was really
0:17:27 > 0:17:29kind of sad, I didn't really understand why they were sad.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31But then eventually, when we got to the airport,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34there was that moment I realised that I'm leaving.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37And I was upset nearly the whole journey.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41In Italy, we had to jump over a fence,
0:17:41 > 0:17:43which seemed rather scary to me.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47We got stopped by the police and I was scared of the police dog.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50It was at night, I think we were going through a little forest
0:17:50 > 0:17:51or something, I'm not sure.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55But I remember the dogs barking, that scared me.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01I remember staying one night inside a cottage,
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I think maybe it was around Slovenia, I'm not sure.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I remember the night that we were leaving, outside the cottage,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10I felt scared because it was at that point where
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I could see the concern on my mum's face.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15To get into England, we got into a lorry from France,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17the lorry was full of iron bars.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21It was the first time throughout the journey where I was really,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23really uncomfortable and scared.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I really wanted to get off.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28And then, when we finally got over to the UK,
0:18:28 > 0:18:32I remember someone cutting open the back of the lorry,
0:18:32 > 0:18:37kind of like one of these movies where the sunlight comes in.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41Then we came out and I remember the British Border Agency,
0:18:41 > 0:18:44they were really friendly. And then, of course,
0:18:44 > 0:18:48it was around that day that I saw my dad after, like, two or three years.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51And it was the weirdest thing, because it wasn't what you
0:18:51 > 0:18:54would expect, running to your dad, hugging him.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56At first, I didn't recognise who it was.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00And then after a while, he told me how he was my dad and,
0:19:00 > 0:19:01you know, he's missed me so much
0:19:01 > 0:19:04and I remember sitting in the back and my mum was sitting in the front,
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I remember it was that night,
0:19:06 > 0:19:10the whole journey, I just kept looking at him,
0:19:10 > 0:19:12trying to figure out what's going on, who he is.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17And then, slowly, I got more and more comfortable towards him.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23The first few days at school were really hard on me,
0:19:23 > 0:19:25not because of the other students or teachers,
0:19:25 > 0:19:30but not knowing anything, just literally being an outsider.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31That was really scary for me.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36The memory I have was that the school had started and
0:19:36 > 0:19:41they had closed the fences, and at break time my mum came to say hello.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43And then when she did come, I talked to her,
0:19:43 > 0:19:47and then once the bell rang to start lessons again,
0:19:47 > 0:19:51I remember holding on to the fence as if it was some sort of prison.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57You could feel, literally not knowing what someone around you
0:19:57 > 0:20:00is saying, even though they're being friendly, you could tell by
0:20:00 > 0:20:04the smiles and facial expressions that they're being friendly,
0:20:04 > 0:20:08not knowing what their meaning was, it was quite scary for me.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15There was a mixed variety of, um, backgrounds
0:20:15 > 0:20:19and the fact that there were refugee kids at that school
0:20:19 > 0:20:22and this centre where you would go to after school to be with
0:20:22 > 0:20:26other kids was a great support,
0:20:26 > 0:20:30so even though the first few months were really uncomfortable,
0:20:30 > 0:20:33having that sense of atmosphere was a great help.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd