0:00:02 > 0:00:03You ever think about stuff?
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Aye, of course.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08I mean, really think about stuff. Big stuff.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11What? Like elephants? Or jumbo-sized hot dogs?
0:00:12 > 0:00:17No, I mean the big questions. Like, what's it all about?
0:00:17 > 0:00:18What's what all about?
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Everything. The whole shebang.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28There was once a bunch of guys in Scotland
0:00:28 > 0:00:32who thought about stuff so much, they weren't sure they knew anything.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34They don't sound too smart to me!
0:00:34 > 0:00:36No, they were really brainy. Take this guy.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40David Hume questioned everything.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Why this? How that? Everything!
0:00:43 > 0:00:46He questioned what we actually know about the world.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Do we have any good reason
0:00:48 > 0:00:51to think any of the stuff around us is actually there?
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Eh?
0:00:52 > 0:00:57I mean, think about it. How can we know the world exists?
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Cos we're standing on it.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Is that a fact?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07Mate, I need to tell you something.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08What is it?
0:01:10 > 0:01:11You're a brain in a jar.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14What you talkin' about?
0:01:14 > 0:01:15You know jars, mate? Glass jars?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17You get jam in them, chocolate spread in them?
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I've seen you put your fingers in them.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Mmm. All the chocolate spread! That kind of jar.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Well, that's what you're inside, right now, mate.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26And you're just a horrible wee wrinkly brain.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Eh, how am I a brain in a jar, exactly?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30When I'm sitting here on your smelly couch
0:01:30 > 0:01:33watching the Wheelie Bin Rovers and Polybag United football match?
0:01:33 > 0:01:37You just perceive all of this to be real. Your trainers. Your ring.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38The telly.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42That framed painting of my maw wrestling that monkey in Mexico.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43But it's all just in your mind.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46You're just a brain in a mad scientist's jar, mate. I'm sorry.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- A mad scientist, now? - Aye. This mad scientist,
0:01:48 > 0:01:51this evil genius mad scientist guy from Motherwell.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54He zapped you out of your bed one night into his secret base
0:01:54 > 0:01:56under Loch Ness, and pulled your brain out.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Stuck it in a jar, wired it up with some electrodes,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01stuck it on the mantelpiece. Then he had a fish supper.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03And why would he do that, exactly?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Because he likes fish suppers.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07I mean the brain bit. Why would he take my brain?
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Just for a laugh. He's mad.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I think I'd know if I was a brain in a jar, Jimmy!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13How would you?
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Well, I can see things, can't I? Brains don't have eyes!
0:02:17 > 0:02:19No, but brains can imagine things.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21You see stuff when you're dreaming, don't you?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Aye, I see all sorts of stuff.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25I quite often see giraffes going camping.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Which is a nightmare, because they cannae find sleeping bags
0:02:28 > 0:02:30long enough to keep their necks warm,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32and their heads keep bursting through the roofs of the tents.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Aye, well, your eyes are shut when you're sleeping, mate.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37So how are you seeing the things you're seeing?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Aye, right enough.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42But I can feel things, and all.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Look!
0:02:44 > 0:02:45See?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50How can a brain in a jar feel your mad, squashy face?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53But are you feeling my squashy face? Or is your mind just telling you
0:02:53 > 0:02:56that you're feeling my mad, squashy face?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Aw. Right enough.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03I mean, I can feel things in my dreams as well, can't I?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Maybe I am a brain in a jar!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08You're a total brain in a jar, mate. Mad jar-heid. Told you.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12I might be on that mad scientist's mantelpiece right now!
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Help! Get me out of this jar!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22No, no, no, no. I'm not having you tell me this isn't real.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I mean, it's common sense!
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Common sense? Davey, man, if all this was real,
0:03:27 > 0:03:31why would there be a sound man recording us talking?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33And why would there be a camera? And lights?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Why would this football we're watching on the telly
0:03:36 > 0:03:39just be a hollowed out prop TV with a wee stuffed fox inside it?
0:03:41 > 0:03:42Aye.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Come to think of it, how do we know that they...
0:03:46 > 0:03:49sorry, talking about you like you aren't even in the room...
0:03:49 > 0:03:52..how do we know that they aren't brains in jars, as well?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Well, Davey, why would all these brains in all these jars
0:03:56 > 0:03:57all be imagining the same thing?
0:03:57 > 0:04:03Aye. So it must be one brain in one jar imagining all of this.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Aye, and you're the one who definitely IS the brain in a jar,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08because it was me who told that mad scientist where you live
0:04:08 > 0:04:09because I wanted rid of you
0:04:09 > 0:04:11for eating all the chocolate spread, Davey.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16Which means all of this in here, except you in that jar must be...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Oh, it's teeth time! Oh, no, it's teeth time!
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Oh, no!
0:04:20 > 0:04:24Oh, no! Oh, no!
0:04:28 > 0:04:31See? Just a wee squidgy brain in a jam jar.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Aye, but what about the rest of us?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36What did Hume think?
0:04:36 > 0:04:40Hume said we can't prove that the world really exists.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43We use our senses, like our eyes and ears,
0:04:43 > 0:04:46but we've got no proof that they tell us anything about the world.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48This next guy doesn't look too happy about that!
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Thomas Reid.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55He agreed that you can't prove it, but disagreed that you HAVE to.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57He said it's natural to believe the world exists,
0:04:57 > 0:05:01so we have no reason to doubt it. Our common sense tells us it's there!
0:05:02 > 0:05:06So what do you think? Are you thinking? Are you really there?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Hello?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Boop!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I told you I'd capture you one day, Nuisance.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Well, it certainly makes a change
0:05:30 > 0:05:34from me walking all over you, Carpetman! Belter.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Why are you always such a nuisance?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Because I am The Nuisance,
0:05:39 > 0:05:44the Irritating Crown Prince of Really Doing-your-box-in-ness. Boop!
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Please, your patented boop sound is very annoying.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51Now, tell me where you've hidden the Mayor's clothes.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Nope. I'm afraid the Mayor's going to have to be running around
0:05:55 > 0:05:57in the scud a little bit longer.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Must you be so lacking in morals all the time?
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Boooop!
0:06:02 > 0:06:04You know the difference between right and wrong.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Why always choose to do wrong?
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Because I am a selfish and self-interested, rather cliched,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13and very annoying baddie.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16If you are indeed so full of self-interest,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19you must want this world to be a comfortable place to live in.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Comfortable for you.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Yes?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Hm. Yes. Where is this going, Carpetman?
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Even the most selfish of nuisances
0:06:32 > 0:06:35derive some pleasure from the pleasure of others.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39If that is the case, then where is this nuisance's morality?
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Please get out from under the table, you annoying wee nuisance!
0:06:54 > 0:06:55Boop!
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Do you derive pleasure from seeing pleasure, Nuisance?
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Pleasure such as seeing the laughter of a small child?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10I would rather eat my own sideburns in a sandwich
0:07:10 > 0:07:14than see any child happy! I HATE children!
0:07:14 > 0:07:15Sorry, no offence.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19An old man finding his long-lost dog?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I'd rather see that old man finding out
0:07:21 > 0:07:24that his dog had done a bathroom in his bunnet, Carpetman.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27A smile.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30A simple smile across my face.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32You? Smile? Impossible!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Would it please you if I smiled?
0:07:37 > 0:07:42Carpetman, smiling? That patterned pest with a smile? That fabric fool?
0:07:42 > 0:07:46That woven waster? That underlay... something.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47I've run out of carpet patter.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Could I perhaps see a small preview
0:07:50 > 0:07:52of what that smile might look like, Carpetman?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That's as far as it's going for now.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Oh, yes! I would dearly like to see that full smile.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Then do the right thing!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Tell me where the mayor's underscants are
0:08:09 > 0:08:11so that I can cover up his buttocks!
0:08:12 > 0:08:16So if I do the right thing here, I stand to gain something?
0:08:16 > 0:08:17A smile from you?
0:08:17 > 0:08:22Yes. And a promise that I won't wallop you with my carpetarang.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26OK, OK, I'll tell you!
0:08:26 > 0:08:29The mayor's clothes are hidden...
0:08:31 > 0:08:33..under all your clothes!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42The mayor's tie, and his chain!
0:08:42 > 0:08:47How on earth did you...? Oh! This will be very annoying to resolve!
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Well, I guess that's why they call me... The Nuisance!
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Oh, for goodness sake, now!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Where's my smile, Carpetman?
0:08:58 > 0:09:02Boooop!
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Boop!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10There's one of those philosophers.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12It's Adam Smith! We've got to help him!
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Should we? There's nothing in it for us, is there?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Well, no, but if we don't help him he'll be squished,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20and his weans will be orphaned, and they'll have to get a job
0:09:20 > 0:09:23somewhere horrible, like a dandruff factory!
0:09:23 > 0:09:24And that upsets you?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Aye!
0:09:26 > 0:09:29See, Smith called that "sympathy". We know it as "empathy".
0:09:29 > 0:09:31He believed that we share in people's pain
0:09:31 > 0:09:34and find pleasure in their happiness because it's in our nature.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37And if we help him we'll get a big thanks and a round of applause?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Right. So you think we should help him?
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Yes!
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- APPLAUSE - Please, it was nothing, really!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Excuse me, mate. You got the time?
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- It's two o'clock. - Aye, mate. But is it?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07- What? - Is it two o'clock?
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Aye. I just saw the time on the clock outside.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Did you? Did you really?
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Yes.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Are you lying to me, mate?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19No! Why would I be lying about the time?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22I've never seen that weird long face of yours before in my life.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- So why should I believe you? - Seriously?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28You ask me to tell you the time and then you accuse me of lying about it?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Tell me why I should believe you.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Use your common sense, mate. Why would I lie?
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Oh, I don't know.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48Maybe because you want to make me late for my pie concert?
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Why would I want you, a guy I've never met in my life, to be late...
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Hold on. A pie concert?
0:10:56 > 0:11:00Yep. I'm going to see one of my favourite pies live on stage.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Steak and kidney. Live. Farewell tour. So I need to know the time.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- It's two o'clock. - Don't you lie to me!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I'm telling you the truth!
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Are you honestly saying I should just believe everything
0:11:19 > 0:11:23any Tom, Dick and Harry tells me? Are you that naive?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26I just believe that people generally tell the truth
0:11:26 > 0:11:29and want to be told the truth. It's human nature.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32And you don't believe that a monster like you would turn against
0:11:32 > 0:11:36that very human nature to make me late for my pie concert?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38No. It's two o'clock!
0:11:38 > 0:11:42You cannae disguise lies about pies, mate. I need evidence.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45Well, go outside and look at the clock yourself!
0:11:45 > 0:11:48No, I mean I need evidence that I can trust your testimony.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I don't exactly smell the cheese of truth
0:11:50 > 0:11:52when I look into your eyes, mate.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Why do you hate pies so much?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58What's going on here?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00Do I not have an honest face or something?
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Well, let's check this book of faces.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Sneaky face, disgusting face,
0:12:06 > 0:12:09a face only a mother could love, a face full of lies about pies.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Oh, and look, our sole honest face.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Right, why don't you ask me some stuff that you know
0:12:20 > 0:12:22is definitely true?
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Right? Then we'll see if my "testimony", as you call it,
0:12:26 > 0:12:27is normally reliable.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Well, first I'd need to know what you look like
0:12:31 > 0:12:35when you're definitely lying. So, say, "I am a pie."
0:12:35 > 0:12:37- I'm not saying that. - Say it.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41- I am a pie.- No, come on.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Like you're really trying to convince me of your piedom.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I am a pie.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You're a pie, mate. Put some filling into it!
0:12:53 > 0:12:54I am a pie!
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Right. Let's get onto this reliable testimony now.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02Are pies tasty?
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Yes.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Reliable. Are pies the best food in the whole wide world?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09- Yes. - Also reliable.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12It's starting to look like maybe I am justified in believing you.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16Aye, well, we'll know for sure after the next 98 questions.
0:13:16 > 0:13:2098?! You'd be quicker going out to look at the clock yourself!
0:13:20 > 0:13:23This is no longer about the clock, pal. It's about you.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26It's about two opposing theories.
0:13:26 > 0:13:31It's about the pursuit of a deeper knowledge of human nature itself.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35And about pies. Mainly about pies.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Right, carry on.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Are all these questions about pies?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Yep.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45It's just leaving two the now, so we've got all the time in the world.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56I would have just believed him and gone to that pie concert!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Aye, but David Hume said you shouldn't always believe everybody.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I mean, if somebody told you they'd seen a miracle,
0:14:01 > 0:14:03would you just accept it?
0:14:03 > 0:14:05A talking badger? I don't think so!
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Right. It's more likely that someone is lying or mistaken
0:14:08 > 0:14:10than there's been a miracle.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12But if no one believed anyone,
0:14:12 > 0:14:14how would we know what was going on in the world?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I guess we wouldn't.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Thomas Reid disagreed.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23For him, believing other people is a natural part of being human.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25We get important knowledge from what we're told,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27so we would be daft to ignore it.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30That's why we're justified in believing what other people tell us.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34So who do you believe?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Are you sure you're not lying about all of this?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Look it up if you want to!
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Aye, I think I'll do that. But hold on, how can I believe what I read?
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Hey, Lewis. Do you like my new haircut?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02'Oh, no! This is awkward.'
0:15:03 > 0:15:07'It's a really, really bad haircut, isn't it?'
0:15:07 > 0:15:08'If you tell your friend the truth...'
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Ha-ha-ha!
0:15:10 > 0:15:12'What'll happen?'
0:15:12 > 0:15:14'If you tell your friend what he wants to hear...'
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Hey, that's a beautiful haircut!
0:15:17 > 0:15:19'..then you'll be a liar.'
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Look at my new haircut.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27'Would you mind telling a lie if it made your friend happy?'
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Are you a fan of my impressive haircut?
0:15:31 > 0:15:32'What if we just figure out
0:15:32 > 0:15:36'what is going to bring about the most happiness and then do that?'
0:15:36 > 0:15:37My haircut.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40'Telling your friend that his awful haircut is nice
0:15:40 > 0:15:43'is going to bring about the most happiness, isn't it?'
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Your haircut is...
0:15:45 > 0:15:46'Wait!'
0:15:46 > 0:15:49'What if your lie leads to happiness for your friend right now
0:15:49 > 0:15:52'but humiliation later, at a party?'
0:15:52 > 0:15:57You told me my haircut was the nicest in the world. You've ruined my life!
0:15:58 > 0:15:59'If you tell him the truth,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02'he might get his haircut sorted before the party.'
0:16:06 > 0:16:11'So maybe telling the truth will cause short-term sadness...'
0:16:11 > 0:16:12'..but long term happiness.'
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Yeah!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16'So you should tell him the truth.'
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Kneel before my haircut.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19'So tell him.'
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Listen, your haircut is...
0:16:21 > 0:16:23'Wait!'
0:16:23 > 0:16:26'What party? Do you even know anyone who is having a party?'
0:16:28 > 0:16:32'So should we even consider that possibility at all?'
0:16:32 > 0:16:33'It can be hard figuring out
0:16:33 > 0:16:36'what's going to bring about the most happiness, can't it?'
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Hair!
0:16:37 > 0:16:38'Have I been helpful in any way?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41'I'm afraid you're on your own, pal.'
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Um...
0:16:46 > 0:16:47Er...
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Your haircut is...
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I understand.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53My new haircut is too impressive for words.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Your haircut, on the other hand,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58is the worst haircut I've ever seen in my life.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00It's disgusting!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I'm only saying this to you because I'm a true friend
0:17:03 > 0:17:05and I don't want people laughing at you.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Get it sorted, man. Come on!
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Nightmare! So what should he have done?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21James Mill believed the right thing to do
0:17:21 > 0:17:23is whatever creates the most happiness.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27So right and wrong depends on how other people feel?
0:17:27 > 0:17:31Aye, and you should do the thing that brings about the greatest happiness.
0:17:31 > 0:17:32Easy.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Hmmm. But suppose I was wanting to catapult your Uncle Kenny's trainers
0:17:36 > 0:17:38on the roof, and your Uncle Kenny's an eejit,
0:17:38 > 0:17:41so everybody would be happy. I should do it, aye?
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Er, no. This is Mill's son, John.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46He was a philosopher, too.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48He agreed about making people happy.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52But he added that you should avoid hurting others through your actions.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Following this rule will bring about more happiness.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Even if I don't like my Uncle Kenny either.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58Aye, all right.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01So with all these rules, we should know the right things to do!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Aye, and yet somehow you still haven't paid back
0:18:04 > 0:18:05that tenner you owe me.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm!
0:18:26 > 0:18:27You enjoying that, are you?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Mate, it's like an angel came down from heaven
0:18:30 > 0:18:33and sprinkled magical sausage dust onto my lips.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Oh, well. I did not enjoy mine. But that's fine,
0:18:39 > 0:18:45because it's better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48So what you're saying is that Socrates didn't like sausages?
0:18:48 > 0:18:51I don't know if Socrates liked sausages.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54The point is that it's better to be me unhappy
0:18:54 > 0:18:56than it is to be you happy.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59So what you're saying is that you're Socrates?
0:18:59 > 0:19:01- Yes.- And I'm a sausage?
0:19:02 > 0:19:03No. You're the fool.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06I'm a fool?! I'll no be having that, mate!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09All right. Let's say, instead, that you are a pig.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- Well, in many ways I am a pig. - HE BURPS
0:19:13 > 0:19:18Right. Well, even if you, the pig, are having the best day of your life,
0:19:18 > 0:19:22and I, the human, am having the worst day of mine,
0:19:22 > 0:19:25it's still better to be the human than the pig.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29No, no, no. It's better to be a pig in its comfiest slippers
0:19:29 > 0:19:30enjoying a nice roll in the mud
0:19:30 > 0:19:33than it is be a human not enjoying a sausage, mate.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35So are you saying that pleasure is all that matters?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38It's the only thing that matters, mate.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Aye, but surely some pleasures are more valuable than other pleasures?
0:19:41 > 0:19:42Like what?
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Shakespeare.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Now, if I was to go and see some Shakespeare,
0:19:50 > 0:19:53I might not have as much fun as a pig rolling about in the mud,
0:19:53 > 0:19:57but the Shakespeare would add more value to my life
0:19:57 > 0:19:59than the mud would to the pig.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Can we make this about sausages again,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04because that's kind of more my speed.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05All right.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07The pleasure of watching Shakespeare
0:20:07 > 0:20:11is more worthwhile than the pleasure of eating sausages.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15Nah, mate. Sausages or Shakespeare? Sausages win.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Nah, sausages or Shakespeare? Shakespeare wins.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Shakespeare will have enriched your soul.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Mate, I could create something more valuable
0:20:22 > 0:20:25than Shakespeare's best play in a second.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26Impossible.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- I could.- Show me.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30HE FARTS
0:20:30 > 0:20:33See? I enjoy a wee solo on the bum trumpet more than I've ever enjoyed
0:20:33 > 0:20:35any of his plays.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Therefore, farting is also more valuable than Shakespeare.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Rubbish.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Better to be a big, cheery pig oinking out some glorious
0:20:43 > 0:20:47bum thunder than to be a human reading some boring Shakespeare.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Do you know who said that?- Who?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51William Shakespeare.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Don't make stuff up. Now, I'm going to read this, OK?
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Because reading a genius is the kind of thing
0:20:57 > 0:21:01a pig would never be fortunate enough to experience.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Well, I'm going to be a pig right now,
0:21:03 > 0:21:06because a pig doesn't have to suffer your annoying conversations
0:21:06 > 0:21:10and I'm going to eat these sausages because I like eating sausages
0:21:10 > 0:21:12all the time, mate, I just love sausages!
0:21:14 > 0:21:15Better to be a happy pig.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17Better to be an unhappy human.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19HE SNORTS
0:21:19 > 0:21:21- Better to be a happy pig. - HE FARTS
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Better to be an unhappy human...
0:21:24 > 0:21:26..sitting over there.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm!
0:21:38 > 0:21:40So, let's look at this carefully.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44Here's a pig that lives its life in mud, happy as Larry.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46And what a life!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48And then there's Mill.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50He said you would have a more valuable life
0:21:50 > 0:21:53as an unhappy person than as a happy pig.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Aye, he looks a bit grumpy, right enough.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Mill hasn't been as consistently happy in his life.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00He's a right misery guts!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04But he did have quality moments of happiness,
0:22:04 > 0:22:09such as listening to his favourite music, or winning a game of tennis.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12So you're saying that there are different kinds of happiness?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Right! Mill says his life is better
0:22:15 > 0:22:19because he's had more valuable happiness than the pig.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Right, and the pig's called Larry?
0:22:20 > 0:22:24No, he's not called Larry. I said he's happy as Larry.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Right. So who's Larry?
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Are you ready for a story, boys and girls?
0:22:51 > 0:22:56Today's story is called "The Bear Who Asked A Lot Of Questions".
0:22:59 > 0:23:04It was bedtime. Bondo the Bear pulled his blankets up over his hairy tummy
0:23:04 > 0:23:06and asked his Daddy a question.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10"Daddy, how do I know that I'll wake up in the morning
0:23:10 > 0:23:14"and not just sleep and sleep and sleep for a hundred years?"
0:23:14 > 0:23:18"Well," said Daddy Bear. "You don't. Night-night."
0:23:20 > 0:23:24"But, Daddy. Do you think I'm going to sleep for a hundred years?"
0:23:24 > 0:23:28asked Bondo. Daddy shook his head.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30"I'm not saying that it will happen, son.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35"I just can't guarantee that it won't. Sweet dreams."
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Bondo's daddy isn't really helping Bondo get to sleep, is he?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41He could just say,
0:23:41 > 0:23:44"Of course you're not going to sleep for a hundred years."
0:23:44 > 0:23:47But he's not completely certain that it's impossible, is he?
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Do you mind?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52"One more question, Daddy."
0:23:52 > 0:23:56"What is it?", sighed Daddy Bear.
0:23:56 > 0:24:01He wanted to go downstairs and play Bear Of Duty 4 on his Cavestation.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04"Can we be sure that the sun will come up tomorrow?" asked Bondo.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09"No," said Daddy bear. "Now go to sleep."
0:24:09 > 0:24:11I think we do know that the sun will rise in the morning.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Not for certain we don't.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Can I get back to reading the story to the boys and girls now, please?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Does it have to be this story?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22I don't think I like Daddy Bear very much.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Yes, well, Daddy Bear doesn't like you very much either.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27He said you wear your mum's pyjamas
0:24:27 > 0:24:31and your head smells like a sweaty badger doing press-ups in a bin.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35You know, you are always interrupting my stories.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Do I ever interrupt your stupid songs?
0:24:38 > 0:24:42# I'm sitting on a bus I'm sitting on a bus! #
0:24:45 > 0:24:51"But Daddy," said Bondo. "The sun always comes up in the morning."
0:24:51 > 0:24:54"Just because something has always happened in the past,"
0:24:54 > 0:24:57replied Daddy Bear, "doesn't mean we can assume
0:24:57 > 0:25:00"that it will always happen in the future."
0:25:00 > 0:25:03"I've never put you to bed, then gone downstairs,
0:25:03 > 0:25:05"got hungry and ate your mum,
0:25:05 > 0:25:08"but it doesn't mean that I won't do it tonight."
0:25:08 > 0:25:09- Did you write this story?- No.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Who was it, then? - It was Charles Dickens.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15See! I knew it was you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Trying to get these wild ideas of yours across to the children.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20They are interesting ideas! What would you prefer?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22# I'm currently close to a table
0:25:22 > 0:25:25# I'm currently very close To a table! #
0:25:28 > 0:25:32When the silly, sock-breathed presenter stopped talking,
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Daddy Bear continued.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37"Bears have only been around for a fraction of the time
0:25:37 > 0:25:41"that the sun has. Perhaps we don't have all the information yet."
0:25:41 > 0:25:44"Maybe the sun comes up for a billion days in a row
0:25:44 > 0:25:48"and then goes off to another galaxy for a week's holiday."
0:25:48 > 0:25:51"We used to think the sun moved around the earth
0:25:51 > 0:25:53"before we got more information."
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Come on! We need to assume some things based on what we know.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Otherwise life would be chaos.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01People need to assume that when they go to sleep at night
0:26:01 > 0:26:02they'll wake up the next morning.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05People need to assume that Tuesday will follow Monday.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08I need to assume that you're going to continue
0:26:08 > 0:26:12to make my life in this job a living nightmare.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Every day. Every day!
0:26:19 > 0:26:20"One final..."
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Every day!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26"One final question, Daddy."
0:26:26 > 0:26:29"Every time I've ever thumped someone on the head with a book,
0:26:29 > 0:26:31"it's really hurt them."
0:26:31 > 0:26:33"Can I assume that it will really hurt them,
0:26:33 > 0:26:34"the next time I thump them?"
0:26:34 > 0:26:40"No," said Daddy Bear. And he switched off the light. The end.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42You knew that would hurt!
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Now that's my kind of story. What do you think, Hume?
0:26:51 > 0:26:52Hey, what's wrong with Hume?
0:26:52 > 0:26:56He's thinking about a deep problem, the problem of knowledge.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Oh, aye, I've met a lot of people with knowledge problems.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I don't mean cleverness, stupid!
0:27:02 > 0:27:03I mean, how can we know anything?
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Like, if we throw a ball up in the air,
0:27:05 > 0:27:07how can we know what happens next?
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Well, obviously it'll fall back down again!
0:27:10 > 0:27:11But how do you know that?
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Because that's what happens. What goes up, must come down.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15I've seen it countless times!
0:27:15 > 0:27:17But what if you're in space?
0:27:17 > 0:27:20You throw a ball up there, it doesn't come back down, does it?
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Aye, well, it's different up there.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24So you can't say that every time a ball is thrown,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26it always falls back down.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28It's just in your experience that it has.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31But your experience isn't the same as knowledge.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35But don't people say you should learn from your experience?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Well, it might help your survival to remember things,
0:27:37 > 0:27:41but Hume says it still doesn't show that you know anything.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44OK, someone must have proved him wrong.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Not this time, you can't use reason
0:27:46 > 0:27:49to prove that your reasoning is right!
0:27:49 > 0:27:52So maybe that storybook was right.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55Maybe the sun does go for a holiday after a billion days!
0:27:55 > 0:27:56Maybe.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59So what does it all mean?
0:27:59 > 0:28:02It means that you should never stop asking questions.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05It means life is more exciting than you think!
0:28:08 > 0:28:11MUSIC: "What Goes On" by The Velvet Underground
0:28:11 > 0:28:15# What goes on in your mind?
0:28:15 > 0:28:19# I think that I am falling down
0:28:19 > 0:28:23# What goes on in your mind?
0:28:23 > 0:28:27# I think that I am upside down
0:28:27 > 0:28:31# Baby, be good, do what you should
0:28:31 > 0:28:34# You know it will work all right
0:28:35 > 0:28:39# Baby, be good, do what you should
0:28:39 > 0:28:42# You know it will be all right. #
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Subtitles by Red Bee Media