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:00:17. > :00:27.My name is Sean Neilson, this time next week I will be achieving some

:00:27. > :00:29.

:00:29. > :00:32.of my dreams, working with children in Thailand.

:00:32. > :00:36.It came about by searching on the Internet. I was looking for

:00:36. > :00:40.something I could make a difference in. One of the things that popped

:00:40. > :00:44.up was working in Thailand, it was working with children, with

:00:44. > :00:51.cerebral palsy, which I found quite spectacular, that the first search

:00:51. > :00:57.I made, it was almost like a sign. My young brother, was called Ryan.

:00:57. > :01:01.Very much my best friend, in the whole wide world. For quite a few

:01:01. > :01:07.years I was a young carer for Ryan, and I helped to look after him with

:01:07. > :01:10.my mum. Ryan suffers from cerebral palsy.

:01:10. > :01:14.He was unfortunately in a wheelchair, he couldn't walk, talk,

:01:14. > :01:19.sit up. He couldn't do the things that everybody takes for granted

:01:19. > :01:23.every day. Like quite a few people, young

:01:23. > :01:28.people in school, from primary school to secondary school, I was

:01:28. > :01:32.bullied, a lot. All the way through. Although I wouldn't have wanted to

:01:32. > :01:38.have been bullied like I was in school, it allowed me to become

:01:38. > :01:44.closer to my brother. But unfortunately I lost my younger

:01:44. > :01:54.brother. I lost my best friend, and it happened 11 years ago, and I

:01:54. > :01:57.

:01:57. > :02:03.it happened 11 years ago, and I There is never a day I don't wake

:02:03. > :02:07.up and think about Ryan, that he's not on my mind, and that I don't do

:02:07. > :02:11.things that will make him proud of me. I need to challenge myself.

:02:11. > :02:16.Ryan would be proud of me if I challenged myself, that is why I

:02:16. > :02:20.picked the project. It came about research on the Internet, finding

:02:20. > :02:23.it, applying to the Magnus Magnusson Trust, a very nerve

:02:23. > :02:26.racking trust, they listened to my story, I didn't think I would get

:02:26. > :02:31.it, I got the great news the following day, I just remember

:02:31. > :02:35.saying to the lady he was part of the trust fund, who was there to

:02:35. > :02:40.reassure me. I said I don't think I will get it, because I was a bit

:02:40. > :02:43.upset when I came out. She said that is because you are speak beg

:02:43. > :02:49.your brother, if you have showed them how much you love your brother

:02:49. > :02:54.and how much you want to make a difference in somebody else's life

:02:54. > :03:00.and there won't be a problem. She sent me the e-mail the next day,

:03:00. > :03:07.telling me I had been accepted. This is my first video diary, it is

:03:07. > :03:10.about four or five days until I leave to go to Thailand. I'm

:03:10. > :03:16.extremely excited, extremely excited, I have never been to that

:03:16. > :03:23.side of the world, I'm really looking forward to it. But I'm also

:03:23. > :03:28.very nervous. I'm also, you know, just dying to get started. Dying to

:03:28. > :03:34.get there, dying to make a difference, I will be keeping you

:03:34. > :03:44.updated on some of the stuff that I am doing over in Thailand. So,

:03:44. > :04:06.

:04:06. > :04:12.stick with me, and I will take you Hi, so this is my first video diary,

:04:12. > :04:17.I'm acting rather quiet, because it has been a really, really busy day.

:04:17. > :04:22.I have eventually arrived here in shaing my, in Thailand, -- shaing

:04:22. > :04:29.my, in Thailand, after extremely long journey, it took me almost 20

:04:29. > :04:32.hours to get here, I eventually got here. I have arrived in Shang Mai,

:04:32. > :04:42.and into the volunteer house, it is just immense, the difference

:04:42. > :04:57.

:04:57. > :05:01.So they did give me a few pointers when I first got there, of some of

:05:01. > :05:06.the groups that I was going to be working, doing workshops with,

:05:06. > :05:12.nothing prepares you for when you eventually start those workshops.

:05:12. > :05:20.Today was just extremely emotional. I found today really, really hard,

:05:20. > :05:27.really hard. I made a lesson plan to work with children at a home

:05:27. > :05:35.called Met Mondek, it is a home for special needs children. One little

:05:35. > :05:40.boy has ADHD, one little girl has cerebral palsy. And another baby

:05:40. > :05:49.has foetal alcohol syndrome, and another little girl has autism.

:05:49. > :05:52.There is a few with severe brain- damage as well. I wasn't going into

:05:52. > :05:56.the whole I'm apprehensive, worrying, nothing like that,

:05:56. > :06:05.whatsoever. The minute I walked in, I saw the little girl in the

:06:06. > :06:09.wheelchair, I just wanted to get her out of the wheelchair and get

:06:09. > :06:12.her free of the wheelchair. I noticed her hand was tied to the

:06:12. > :06:15.side of the wheelchair, which I didn't agree with at all, I'm not

:06:15. > :06:19.here to judge. When I eventually found out why her hands were bound

:06:19. > :06:23.to the wheelchair, it was because she would bite her hands. When you

:06:23. > :06:27.hear the whole story, and you don't judge, you understand that they

:06:27. > :06:36.were doing that for a reason. They were doing it to protect her. But

:06:36. > :06:40.it upset me. I just felt, you know, I need to

:06:40. > :06:46.educate these people that is not the right thing to do. She needs to

:06:46. > :06:50.be free, she needs to be just allow to explore, and I took her out of

:06:51. > :07:00.the wheelchair, and got her on to the ground, and I made my lesson

:07:01. > :07:01.

:07:01. > :07:05.all about bringing the outinside, and the kids got to feel leaves,

:07:05. > :07:10.smell flowers, feel pebbles, they got to do all that today, and they

:07:10. > :07:12.absolutely loved it. One of the people from the charity said that

:07:12. > :07:15.they had been working with the children for five months, and they

:07:15. > :07:18.don't know what to do with the children with special needs,

:07:18. > :07:21.because they don't have any experience in that area, that is

:07:21. > :07:24.why they were happy for me to be here. And they said they have never

:07:24. > :07:28.been able to engage all the children at the one time, and in

:07:28. > :07:32.the one project, and I done that today, they were extremely

:07:32. > :07:36.overwhelmed. So I was really, really happy. I was happy that

:07:36. > :07:40.happened, and I was happy that all the children were able to be

:07:40. > :07:44.engaged. That is always they needed. They needed some close body contact.

:07:44. > :07:50.They needed some love, some care, some attention, they just want to

:07:50. > :07:56.be loved. That is literally it, they just want to be loved. I was

:07:56. > :08:00.given Gig i, her snaim was, the little girl with -- name was, the

:08:00. > :08:07.literal girl with Searle bral palsy, I was giving her loads of kisses

:08:07. > :08:17.and hugs, she ponded well, a big massive smile. I sometimes wish it

:08:17. > :08:18.

:08:18. > :08:27.was my wee brother, but it's not. I find it really, really hard.

:08:27. > :08:34.So it is the end of another very emotional day today, I was working

:08:34. > :08:39.with the, just absolutely beautiful children, of Hope Home, here in the

:08:39. > :08:47.city. It is a gorgeous project, there is a foster home, which looks

:08:47. > :08:51.after about five or six kids. It is really sad, I felt really emotional

:08:51. > :08:56.today, as I always have when I have worked with these kids, it is so

:08:57. > :09:03.difficult to see some of their stories, and some of the lifestyles

:09:03. > :09:06.that some of their parents lead. Also how some parents just can't

:09:06. > :09:12.help being poor. They can't look after their children, so their

:09:12. > :09:16.children end up in Hope Home. I got to meet some gorgeous children,

:09:17. > :09:22.Utina, he was a little boy I was working with today. He was just

:09:22. > :09:29.absolutely beautiful. There ofn't a lot of expression and

:09:29. > :09:33.that from them, I -- there wasn't a lot of expression from him, I

:09:33. > :09:41.realised why, he suffered foetal alcohol syndrome, his mother had

:09:41. > :09:44.been an alcoholic. It was so sad. That wee boy couldn't move, he

:09:44. > :09:48.couldn't talk, couldn't walk, couldn't do anything, and his

:09:48. > :09:53.mother abandoned him. The fact that this child has been

:09:53. > :10:00.damaged by alcohol, that could have been fixed. That could have been

:10:00. > :10:04.fixed, that could have been stopped at least, you see the effects that

:10:04. > :10:07.alcohol has in places like Scotland. You see the effect it has on people

:10:07. > :10:12.and families, when it effects children like that, and that child

:10:12. > :10:19.will be damaged for the rest of their life, it is really sad.

:10:19. > :10:25.It is really, really sad. I can't change it.

:10:25. > :10:30.Then there was Bunrat, and he was a wee boy, or a big boy, he was

:10:30. > :10:35.around about the same age of Ryan, I was very emotional with today,

:10:35. > :10:39.because I got the chance to feed Bunrat, I got a chance to spend a

:10:39. > :10:44.lot of time with him, he reminded me of Ryan, it was really hard. It

:10:44. > :10:49.is hard because when I see these children, and I'm with them, it is

:10:49. > :10:56.like I'm with Ryan, and I don't want to leave. I do not want to

:10:56. > :11:00.leave. Because it's just emotional, and it's heart warming, and it is

:11:00. > :11:04.just making me feel good. It makes me feel good that I feel as though

:11:04. > :11:08.I'm making a difference. That I'm working with the kids as well, and

:11:08. > :11:12.when I do work with them I just forget everything that I have

:11:12. > :11:18.planned to do with them, and I just want to hug them and give them

:11:18. > :11:21.kisses, and it is really hard. It is really, really hard, but Hope

:11:21. > :11:24.Home was amazing today, I'm looking forward to the rest of the week as

:11:24. > :11:34.well. Fingers crossed that everything

:11:34. > :11:35.

:11:35. > :11:41.goes well, and that I will have a great time for the rest of the week.

:11:41. > :11:47.So the time has eventually come when it was going to be my last day,

:11:47. > :11:52.and it is today. I have had my last day with my last group, and it

:11:52. > :11:59.couldn't have been more emotional. I couldn't have had a better day to

:11:59. > :12:03.end my time here in Thailand. I was working with the children of

:12:03. > :12:06.Metmondeck, I will never forget the children from there, I will never

:12:07. > :12:10.forget every single one of the groups I worked with here in

:12:10. > :12:15.Thailand, I will miss every single one of them. No words can totally

:12:15. > :12:20.describe the effect that they had on me, and the hopeful effect that

:12:20. > :12:23.I had on them. As people. Working with them just changed the way that

:12:23. > :12:27.I think about things. The way that I deal with certain situations in

:12:27. > :12:30.life. The way that I deal with people, as well. That I have

:12:30. > :12:35.learned that you will never be able to live a positive life, or have a

:12:35. > :12:39.happy life if you don't live it positively. So that means having a

:12:39. > :12:44.good life, enjoying life, it doesn't mean being selfish, it

:12:44. > :12:47.genuinely means giving back, and you just see opportunities, where

:12:47. > :12:52.your life can be made so much better, just by giving yourself up

:12:52. > :12:55.to something. I think that's where your life can change, and within

:12:55. > :13:05.three weeks my life changed. My eyes were opened, and my heart of

:13:05. > :13:09.opened to new experiences, and new people, and a new culture. I had to

:13:09. > :13:13.go 4,000 miles away to be close to my brother, and I won't get that

:13:13. > :13:17.feeling from anything else. It is amazing when you give something

:13:17. > :13:21.back to people, you feel more of a whole person yourself. That is what

:13:21. > :13:27.I will take away from Thailand. Thank you for being with me in my

:13:27. > :13:33.journey, thank you for listening to me. Please, please, please, if you

:13:33. > :13:39.get a chance, volunteer with any organisation across the world,

:13:39. > :13:41.volunteering makes you feel alive, it makes you feel like you can make

:13:41. > :13:45.a difference, and the most independent person in the world.

:13:45. > :13:49.Volunteering is the way forward. Give yourself up to other people,

:13:49. > :13:59.you will find the joy, the laughter and the smiles that you gain from

:13:59. > :13:59.

:13:59. > :14:46.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 46 seconds

:14:46. > :14:51.the people that you help. So, do it. I want to go to Malawi, it is

:14:51. > :14:56.Africa, it is different, you know, you hear about everything that

:14:56. > :15:03.happens in Africa, from poverty, I have always thought that I could go

:15:03. > :15:10.have always thought that I could go over and I could help. The day I

:15:10. > :15:13.got up to go to Malawi, my head was in a mess. We got up very early, I

:15:13. > :15:17.have been so nervous for beaks building up to it, I -- weeks

:15:17. > :15:23.building up to it, I couldn't contemplate I was going to Malawi

:15:23. > :15:26.for a month. The morning was pretty emotional, we had to say all our

:15:27. > :15:31.goodbyes at the bus. Once we were on the bus, and once we were off,

:15:31. > :15:41.it was just heading straight on to what we were going to be doing, and

:15:41. > :15:51.

:15:51. > :15:55.getting to Malawi, we had 24 hours My first impressions of Malawi was

:15:55. > :16:00.just the warm heart, it just seemed really nice and calm, relaxing,

:16:00. > :16:06.except when you travelled through the slum villages, that sort of, I

:16:06. > :16:10.don't know how to describe it, it was very upsetting. You see lots of

:16:10. > :16:14.people walking everywhere, there is not many cars, and houses are

:16:14. > :16:18.rundown. The scaffolding is amazing, all the scaffolding is home made.

:16:18. > :16:23.You can just see there all the bikes are home made, just there. It

:16:23. > :16:31.is quite amazing and shocking some of the things you see. It was clear

:16:31. > :16:34.you were not in Europe. Especially in Britain any more, you were in

:16:34. > :16:39.Africa, and it was obvious when we were on our way to the campsite.

:16:40. > :16:42.got there quite late in the evening, to the campsite, for the first time.

:16:42. > :16:46.Everybody was quite tired and excited to be there. The first

:16:46. > :16:51.thing we had to do was sort out getting our tents up and getting

:16:51. > :16:55.food done. For me I was quiteer in shrous, we were tired and we were

:16:55. > :16:58.here, you -- I was quite nervous, we were tired and we were here and

:16:58. > :17:08.you didn't know what to make of it. Everyone was excited by morning to

:17:08. > :17:24.

:17:24. > :17:28.There was four different projects to begin with, starting building

:17:28. > :17:35.the toilet block, which our team was on to begin with, we had to dig

:17:36. > :17:40.a trench for a new water supply to go down to the bottom of the hill.

:17:40. > :17:47.Pretty much what we are doing is we are trying to move this massive log

:17:47. > :17:54.out of the way of the track for the water pipe that goes to the

:17:54. > :17:58.building. But we are trying to build a pully system, but the hole

:17:58. > :18:06.we used to attach to the end of it has snapped, we have to work out a

:18:06. > :18:11.new way of doing it. I loved doing sufficient like the

:18:11. > :18:21.toilet block and French work, because it was clear that you are

:18:21. > :18:25.you were making progress. One of the projects we really saw

:18:25. > :18:28.something grow and build up from where it hadn't been before. That

:18:28. > :18:32.was an eye-opening experience, at the end you achieved something, and

:18:32. > :18:42.it was nice to say you had a part in it, and you achieved something

:18:42. > :18:51.

:18:51. > :18:56.you didn't think you would be able On the second Sunday we went to

:18:56. > :19:05.Dimasi mission church for the English service. The church was one

:19:05. > :19:10.of the best experiences. Kieran, he pipeed us in, he Poor Roy had to

:19:10. > :19:14.walk the ten-minute walk playing with us behind him. The church

:19:14. > :19:19.itself was really quite interesting. It was not like a church here, it

:19:19. > :19:23.is not like sit down, sing a song, or stand up and sing a song, and

:19:23. > :19:33.stand down, listen to the priest, stand up and do something else. It

:19:33. > :19:50.

:19:50. > :19:56.is more like stand up, sing a song, All the African singing, they are

:19:56. > :20:06.amazing at singing, they would destroy any British choir, just a

:20:06. > :20:11.

:20:11. > :20:15.group of Malawi women doing a wee sing-song during the service.

:20:15. > :20:19.The feeling of community in this church, with all these people you

:20:19. > :20:22.never met, it was a really lovely experience. When we came out, we

:20:22. > :20:25.were introduced to the people who had been in the service, they were

:20:25. > :20:27.students who had been studying there. We met everybody, it was

:20:27. > :20:31.such a friendly warm environment, just the sort of thing you are not

:20:31. > :20:35.used to at home at all. They were so natural there. The whole feeling

:20:35. > :20:38.was not a pressure feeling, it was not like being in church, there

:20:38. > :20:46.wasn't pressure, it was a feeling of community and celebration, it

:20:46. > :20:53.was nice. We went to the safari, in the

:20:53. > :20:57.National Park. Quite close to where we were. We spent one night there.

:20:57. > :21:01.The The highlight of the trip must have been the safari, it had to be,

:21:01. > :21:05.I had never seen an elephant in front of me before, I have never

:21:05. > :21:11.seen a crocodile, I have never seen a hippo standing in my porch before.

:21:11. > :21:16.That was just unbelievable. It was, you know, you have to do it, to

:21:16. > :21:20.realise just how great it is. You see these elephants on TV, you see

:21:20. > :21:25.all these animals on TV and you think it is an elephant. You are

:21:25. > :21:29.there and properly studying it, thinking, asking questions, how it

:21:29. > :21:33.lives, how the families stick together and stuff like that. There

:21:33. > :21:39.is so much you can learn just from the safari itself. When you are

:21:39. > :21:42.right up with nature and the animals, the experience is one

:21:42. > :21:47.where you feel alive. It was an absolutely amazing thing on the

:21:47. > :21:52.trip. It was quite distressing at point

:21:53. > :21:59.to see the poverty that people were living in. We went down to Sang ani,

:21:59. > :22:05.which is a village nearby us, one day, for a kind of big scout event,

:22:05. > :22:09.there was games and things. Some smart fool decided to bring our

:22:09. > :22:16.lunch down with us as well. We were sitting having to eat this lunch

:22:16. > :22:20.next to this massive crowd of children, five or six years old,

:22:20. > :22:24.who were just longingly looking at us eat this food, it was horrible.

:22:24. > :22:30.But we couldn't give any food to them, because there was so many of

:22:30. > :22:35.them, if you gave some to one you would have to give it to all of

:22:35. > :22:39.them. We had spare fruit and we had three bananas left, one of the

:22:39. > :22:42.leaders was saying we could give the bananas out to the kids, it

:22:42. > :22:48.seemed like a good ideas, we are not going to throw it out. We will

:22:48. > :22:54.give it to them. Before we had even said, they must have just heard the

:22:54. > :22:59.word "kid" as they will give the bananas, out, there was three left

:22:59. > :23:04.and 100 kid, there was a stampede, they charged and grabbed them, I'm

:23:04. > :23:09.pretty sure they grabbed the basin they were in as well. I was taken

:23:09. > :23:18.aback. It became clear that these people do not live in the best

:23:18. > :23:22.circumstances. That just told the whole story itself.

:23:22. > :23:31.That was probably the moment I realised how much poverty there was

:23:31. > :23:36.in the country. Packing to come home was a bit of a

:23:36. > :23:39.somber experience, nobody wanted to do it, we all postponed it to the

:23:39. > :23:42.last minute. We were all told to get it done the day or two days

:23:42. > :23:45.before we left. Everybody was doing it the afternoon, the morning we

:23:45. > :23:49.were meant to be leaving. It was kind of sad thinking that

:23:49. > :23:51.you are going to be leaving the next day, and that you are packing

:23:51. > :23:55.to go, after being there for so long.

:23:55. > :23:58.Seeing the way that people live in Malawi, it certainly made me

:23:59. > :24:05.appreciate what we have in this country. You don't appreciate what

:24:05. > :24:12.you have, running water in your house, or that you have all these

:24:12. > :24:14.electrical appliances, constant intermittant -- constant, not

:24:14. > :24:19.intermittant electricity, and even having enough room in your entire

:24:19. > :24:24.house for your family, some people don't have that. It is eye-opening.

:24:24. > :24:26.Whenever we travelled throughout Malawi, that was when we had the

:24:26. > :24:32.opportunity to see the conditions and poverty that people were living

:24:32. > :24:36.in. You hear about stuff all the time at home, although we were

:24:36. > :24:39.staying near the city in Malawi, we weren't living in an area of utter

:24:39. > :24:42.deprivation, but definite signs there. It didn't seem to be

:24:42. > :24:46.affected the community too much, but it was quite striking seeing

:24:46. > :24:50.conditions you just weren't used to seeing, to actually about there, it

:24:50. > :25:00.was real, and it was quite shocking, the conditions, the houses, that

:25:00. > :25:04.kind of thing. It was eye-opening, it was spectacular, difficult, but

:25:04. > :25:07.completely worth it. I would definitely do something like it

:25:07. > :25:13.again. I think you have changed within myself, I have gained

:25:13. > :25:21.discipline and friends for life, definitely. I have changed in a few

:25:21. > :25:26.ways, but I think I have changed in a way, as in my discipline has

:25:26. > :25:29.changed. I'm much more disciplined, I'm well into following through

:25:29. > :25:34.with things. I think one of the things I was really hoping would

:25:34. > :25:38.happen before I came was that I would feel like I would be more

:25:38. > :25:46.capable, coming home that is definitely it, I feel like I'm much

:25:46. > :25:50.more capable, and I am able to go out and achieve these you unkinds

:25:50. > :25:54.of things. It was more self- confidence, it was an eye-opening

:25:54. > :25:58.experience. Commitment, I'm very committed to helping people now,

:25:58. > :26:03.giving people assistance. Being in Malawi, seeing how much small

:26:03. > :26:06.things can benefit people, as in a pipe to a maize mill, that will

:26:07. > :26:13.secure their income to the campsite, because they will have wart Tory

:26:13. > :26:17.use in the maize mill, that helps thom to a huge extent. You just

:26:17. > :26:22.have to be committed and realise the small things can help. I would

:26:22. > :26:26.say I feel much more confident now, especially to pursue these goals in

:26:26. > :26:31.the future, somewhere that feels so alien, it can be nerve racking,

:26:31. > :26:33.because there are no points of familiarity, it is just such a

:26:34. > :26:40.surreal experience, really. Now I feel I have the confidence that I

:26:40. > :26:48.can go and do this kind of thing. think I will just miss the