0:00:16 > 0:00:20Hello, B for Bruce to Tango Three, are you reading me?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23B for Bruce to Tango Three, come in, over.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33BOMBASTIC WARTIME MUSIC PLAYS
0:00:42 > 0:00:44HE KNOCKS
0:00:44 > 0:00:48We're in Z03524 on the port quarter.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Excuse me.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Mr Lacey, can I come in?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20A bit of a crush. Yes.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23It's nice to have somebody here. Thank you very much.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25It's a very lonely life. Where are we off to, then?
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Well, we're flying over to France about three days after D-Day,
0:01:29 > 0:01:32shooting up ammunition trains
0:01:32 > 0:01:35and any German tanks we may see.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Are you really flying? Yes.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41You really are in one of these?
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Yes, we are, yes. The fact that it looks as though
0:01:44 > 0:01:46we're watching television is only an illusion.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I see.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Oh, hello. Good morning.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I wonder, could you tell me, please,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08where Mr Alexander Wortley lives, please? Alexander?
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Oh, yes, his house is round the back.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14You can go either way, actually. Fine. Thank you very much.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Not at all.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50Yes? I'm looking for Mr Alexander Wortley again.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54Oh, well, no, I'm sorry, this is wrong. Look in there.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56There? Yes.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59That's his house. The green one. Thank you very much.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Good morning. Good morning. Mr Alexander Wortley?
0:03:17 > 0:03:20That's it. Stewart. Alexander Stewart Wortley.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Nice to meet you. My name's Dave Allen. Oh.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25I've had a bit of a job finding you.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27I didn't realise you lived in a little house like this.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31Yes. Try to live here. How long have you been living in here?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Well, I should imagine 25 years.
0:03:34 > 0:03:3625 years? Yes.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39It was built by Rio's, some of this stuff. Yes.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41It's a real box.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45Yours is more or less a phantom box, you see. But this is a real one!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Did you... Have you always lived here? Say it again.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50You've always lived here? Oh, no.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53I've been all around England.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Three times around England, I should imagine.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59The first box I had was built from the scrap of London.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02And I walked round all the counties of England with it.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05And you lived in it? Yes, the scrap of London.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Did you pull it? I pulled it.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12If you see the wife, you pull yourself, see the idea? Yeah.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15How long have you been staying stationary?
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Oh, I've been here 20 years, maybe.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20But I used to be at the convent before this,
0:04:20 > 0:04:22next door at the presbytery. Yes.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Well, tell me, why did you give up travelling, then?
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Well, have you seen I haven't got any wheels on it? Yeah.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31That's one reason why I gave over.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Also, of course, I'm 74 years of age,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38which pulling boxes and things get beyond you.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41You do your own cooking in here. Yes.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43You sleep in here. Yes.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Do you wash in here?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Yes, bath in here, I do.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I wash up and down, what they call a rub down.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53What about your bed? Where is your bed?
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Well, there's this, of course.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59The original bed I had for this box,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02it came from Oxon. Yeah.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05What do they call it, Withy?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08It's not a very big bed. How do you lie down?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11Oh, I can't really lay down. I put an extension for the feet.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Can I see, then? Yes.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18And you put your feet in there, do you? Yes. I used to.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Originally I just had one panel here.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23But one morning I woke up,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26and they were just getting broad daylight,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29and when I opened my eyes, I saw a copper.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32He lifted this thing up, this panel, and of course, when you wake up,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34if you have committed any crime on this earth
0:05:34 > 0:05:38and you see a copper, makes you wonder...
0:05:38 > 0:05:39Gives you a bit of a shock!
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Do you have a philosophy in life?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Well, I don't call it philosophy.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46There's too much of a loss in that.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I like to be on the gaining side of things.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50My idea of life is love.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Every time I have contact with love on this planet,
0:05:53 > 0:05:54that's all right with me.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57And I presume it's much the same thing with you,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00only sometimes money and things like that get in between,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02which makes it more difficult.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05A sense of humour is the world's most valuable thing.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08But it comes from the fact that you've got a pure heart
0:06:08 > 0:06:12and you've got peace of mind, which goes to make it.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14All these comics and people like that
0:06:14 > 0:06:17must have a good blood system or you get the dragon
0:06:17 > 0:06:19and you wouldn't be able to see the funny side of things at all.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22It was really supposed to be the backside of a woman, you know,
0:06:22 > 0:06:26but somebody seriously gave you a judging.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28There's one queer fella that thinks he can kiss it.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Anyway, he comes from America!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Did you find him all right? Yes, thank you very much indeed.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Does he actually live in that little house all by himself
0:06:39 > 0:06:41or is he having me on?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44No, no, he's always lived like that, ever since we've known him.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47What do your children think? They love him. He's so sweet with them.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51It's like having a sort of permanent grandfather in residence.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54And what do your own friends think?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57One or two find him uncomfortable,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00and that's usually because they can't put up
0:07:00 > 0:07:02with eccentricity in any way.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04They're much too conformist. Do you feed him, or...?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06No, no, he feeds himself.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Occasionally we swap things,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11like Pancake Day or something.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14And he gives something to the dog
0:07:14 > 0:07:17and he comes and has Christmas lunch with us.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18That's very nice, actually.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20He makes very good Yorkshire puddings.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Watch out for aircraft and the ammunition trains.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Over. I've always...
0:07:28 > 0:07:31It's hard to believe, actually, that we're in the middle
0:07:31 > 0:07:33of the East End. A bit crushed in here.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Yes, well, there's a housing shortage, actually.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Yes, come and join me. You want to have a go? You try it.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43Yes, that's right. You move the stick forward to dive.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Be careful, be careful, that's it.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Don't pull it back too steeply,
0:07:47 > 0:07:48otherwise we're going to stall.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51I see. Can I fire at that aeroplane that's in front of us?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Yes, you can. It's one of ours, but fire at it all the same.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I wonder what happened to him. I haven't fired anything.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Press the button there, quick. What button, where?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Is that him on fire now?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Those are his rockets. Oh, I see.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04There's a certain amount of pretence, actually.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07In fact, what it is, I don't know where the hell I am, actually.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I'm in a strange world of illusion and fantasy and reality.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13It's a marvellous world to be in.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47When the Tempter came to him he said,
0:08:47 > 0:08:52"If thou be the son of God, command that these stones be made bread."
0:08:52 > 0:08:55But he answered and said, "It is written,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58"'Man shall not live by bread alone.'"
0:09:00 > 0:09:01Adventure,
0:09:01 > 0:09:06either physical or spiritual
0:09:06 > 0:09:08or mental.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15It's surely an essential in the life of anyone
0:09:15 > 0:09:19who is to be truly alive,
0:09:19 > 0:09:23because life can be oh so dull
0:09:23 > 0:09:27and so grey and so mediocre
0:09:27 > 0:09:32and so small and so inward-looking
0:09:32 > 0:09:35in this day and age.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38So dead.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42And some people, it would seem,
0:09:42 > 0:09:45will never be more dead
0:09:45 > 0:09:48than they are at the moment.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53And what's faith but the greatest adventure of all,
0:09:53 > 0:09:56the greatest gamble,
0:09:56 > 0:09:59with the highest stakes a man could possibly lay...
0:09:59 > 0:10:01his immortal soul?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48The important thing is,
0:10:48 > 0:10:52the important thing is the wide horizon,
0:10:52 > 0:10:55the urge to see always around the next bend
0:10:55 > 0:10:58and over the next ridge.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Perhaps one has to be a bit round the bend oneself,
0:11:03 > 0:11:07or at any rate, seem to be, to the comfortable, orthodox,
0:11:07 > 0:11:10inward-looking, in the rut, dead,
0:11:10 > 0:11:13self-satisfied sort of person.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Kipling wrote, in The Explorer,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18"There's no sense in going further
0:11:18 > 0:11:21"It's the edge of cultivation
0:11:21 > 0:11:24"So they said, and I believed it
0:11:24 > 0:11:27"Broke my land and sowed my crop
0:11:27 > 0:11:29"Built my barns and strung my fences
0:11:29 > 0:11:32"In the little border station
0:11:32 > 0:11:34"Tucked away below the foothills
0:11:34 > 0:11:38"Where the trails run out and stop
0:11:38 > 0:11:44"Till a voice, as bad as Conscience, rang interminable changes
0:11:44 > 0:11:49"On one everlasting whisper day and night repeated so...
0:11:49 > 0:11:52"Something hidden. Go and find it
0:11:52 > 0:11:55"Go and look behind the ranges
0:11:55 > 0:11:59"Something lost behind the ranges
0:11:59 > 0:12:05"Lost and waiting for you. Go!"
0:12:05 > 0:12:09EPIC MUSIC PLAYS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's handed over to me now? Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Is there any kind of words said or anything? No. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, the Indians generally offered a prayer when they... No. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do the women get smoke? No. No? No. Oh. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And you must never pass the pipe beyond the doorway. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If it goes to the doorway, it has to come back and round again. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Mr Blackmore, this is not what one would really expect 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 to find in a place like Eastbourne. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, now, I suppose I'm rather a misfit 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 in a civilised society like this. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You have a drum over there. Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's a deerskin rawhide drum. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I have rattles, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's a deerskin rawhide rattle. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There we are. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They have songs? Yes, oh, yes, songs for all occasions. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do you know any songs? Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There was one called 'The Leader's Song' 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 from the Omaha Indians. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That was composed by an old Omaha Indian chief once 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 when the people were going on a friendly visit to their old enemies, the Sioux. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They had in some way managed to patch up some sort of peace 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 between the two tribes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There were these Omaha Indians, all in their most beautiful costumes, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 riding down towards the Sioux Indian camp on a friendly visit. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So as they rode towards the town, the old chief composed this song, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and as the people learned the words and music, they all joined in, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 sang this in a great chorus as they rode towards the Sioux Indian camp, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 hoping for the best and hoping they would be received as friends. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 The words of the song actually mean, "We are dancing, we're moving 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 "toward you, the almighty father alone decides the destinies of men." 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 HE SINGS IN SIOUAN 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Lovely. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When did your interest first begin? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, I know I was interested in Indians 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 as long ago as when I was nine years of age. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That was 66 years ago. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, they're such an interesting people 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that once you begin to study them, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 there's so much of it that it just gets you 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and you can't give it up. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 More and more to it as you go along. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Mrs Blackmore, when did you become interested Indians? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When I met my husband! 1920... Eight. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, we married in 1928, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but there was about two years before that. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We did spend our honeymoon in a teepee exactly like this 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that we made when we were married in 1928. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You went for a honeymoon in a teepee? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, it was exactly like this. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 One exactly the same as this. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And you've cooked in it, and...? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, yes, yes, it was miserable weather at Easter, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and cold and rainy in places. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I suppose the love kept you warm. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We had a fire in the teepee day and night, you see, too, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which keeps the ground nice and dry in the teepee all the time 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 you're camping in it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You've both been adopted into the Sioux tribe. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, well, Curley wasn't actually adopted into the nation as I was, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but she was adopted by the grandson of Sitting Bull. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 He adopted her as his sister and gave her the name of Wahuilutuwin, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which means Red Leaf Woman. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Red Leaf Woman? Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And what is your Indian name? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, he gave me, on that occasion, the name Tatanka-Waste, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which means Good Buffalo. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But then the next week, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 he officiated at my proper adoption ceremony into the Sioux nation, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and there I was actually adopted into Sitting Bull's family 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and given Sitting Bull's first boyhood name, Honkhaashne, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which means slow, deliberate or thoughtful. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They said when Sitting Bull was quite young, he was so thoughtful 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and deliberate in everything he did that that was his first name, Honkhaashne. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's not what we consider to be slightly jokey? Oh, no. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They're very, very serious about it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They're a very sincere and honest people. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Lying and stealing were two things absolutely unknown to them. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In all cases, when the Indians... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When the white men met the Indians, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 the Indians always greeted them as friends 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and did all they possibly could to help them, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 unfortunately for themselves. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Course, in the case of the Spaniards, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 they burned these Indians to death to convert them to Christianity. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They thought that was the quickest way to convert the Indians 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 to Christianity. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Thousands of the Indians were burned to death in the old days. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Then, of course, they blamed the Indians later on 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 when they learned to torture prisoners. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They never did before the white men came. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 The scalping of enemies was another thing the white men started. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We always blame the Indians for scalping enemies, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but there's not the slightest doubt there were far more Indians 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 scalped by white people in the olden days than there ever were 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 white people scalped by Indians. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If you could have been born a Red Indian, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 would you have liked to have been? I would, in the old days. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It must've been a wonderful life in the old days. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But of course, since the coming of the white man, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 they've had a pretty miserable existence. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What do you think you are yourself? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Are you an overgrown child? Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'm not an overgrown child. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'm a child that never turned into an adult. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I believe children are what adults are meant to be. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When you see primitive families like Red Indians and Eskimos, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 the children and the adults all play alike together. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In this country, we only play on the beach with our children, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 or at Epping Forest on August Bank Holiday. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Adults are too embarrassed to play any more 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 because they've been turned into this horrible sort of... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I really regard an adult as a horrible person 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 who has gone off with his life in the wrong direction. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Let me see... The mice. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 CHILDREN CHATTER 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Can you hold them up? Where are all the others? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Can you hold a mouse? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, let me get them all on the umbrella. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You know who they belong to? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Bring your mice to Snowy. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 All bring your mice to Snowy, one at a time. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Snowy is going to stand where that daisy is 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and you'll stand there, each of you, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and bring him along for Snowy. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's nice, isn't it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Snowy, tell me, how do you live? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I live off me land. I've got two pieces of allotment. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I grow potatoes and also greens, most of them January King, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which are very nice, and Brussels and carrots. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I live off my land, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's all you eat? That's all I eat. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I eat like the rabbits, vegetables, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I don't drink nothing no stronger than water. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If you could change the world, Snowy, in some way... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, that would be a problem! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What would you do? What would I do? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, dear, I shouldn't have so many cars on the road. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'd have a few more of these old carts. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You're meant to shove them, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They just jump in a car 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and press the pedal or something and go. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They don't see... They don't see the countryside. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They don't see all the lovely trees, same as I do. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If they see them, they wouldn't know what they were there for. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They don't know nothing, only pleasure and riding about in cars. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's my opinion of it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 My life is much different, see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I look on the grass and all around, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 see if that tree is so-and-so, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and that one has blossomed, whichever the case is. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Same with the allotment, you see. So do you... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 These here Brussels coming up, I thought, "I shall be all right 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 "for next winter if there in't food, as long as you keep growing." 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do you basically think that man is going wrong somewhere? Wrong? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They're all going wrong! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They are in my little offence. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They've got no manliness about them today, I don't think. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They go gadding about. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They want to be here, there, there and everywhere. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They couldn't walk. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They're young, fit chaps, you know, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but that'll keep them fit, riding about. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Walk and pedal this lot, pedal this lot up Castle Hill. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That would do them, wouldn't it? Oh, they couldn't do it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They can't even shove an ordinary bike. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, dear, it's wonderful. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I think actually we might as well get out 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 because we're about to land, aren't we? Yes. OK. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Can you turn your machine gun off? Yes, we're landing. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Let's say we've landed, OK? Right. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What sort of procedures do you have to go through? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We've got to slide the cockpit open to get out. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Unfortunately, the sliding mechanism is broken. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 CARTOON SPRINGING NOISE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I think my back is as well. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 SPEECH INAUDIBLE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Jump out through that gap. Fine. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Remember, we are on the ground. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Long way down. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ENGINE GRINDS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Right. OK? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I will just put some lights on. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 GUNFIRE SOUNDS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 A night flight, was it? Yes, it was. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 During the war, we never had things like tape recorders. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Now I can switch this on, you see, and get the sound of an aeroplane. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes. I had to do it all with my own voice box, like... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 HE IMPERSONATES AIRCRAFT DRONE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What about machine guns? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, I just got... Oh, my gosh, what's that? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Machine gun, of course we never had anything to produce a machine gun 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 during the war, but I've got in my simulator here I can... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 RAPID GUNFIRE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ..produce it like that, you see? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What other dreams do you have? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, this year is going to be my great dream. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'm going to be a pop star. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'm going to be on Top Of The Pops with Jill, my wife, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 with her own number. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 As I'm getting older, it becomes more difficult to be a pop star, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but now we've got super wigs and make-up. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 No-one will be able to tell how old I am, you see, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 under all the make-up and stuff. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So I made this keyboard here, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 this organ, and I'm writing songs 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and I've produced a unit that will actually harmonise with my voice. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But it needs perfecting a bit. Shall I play you a little bit? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Absolutely, yes. It sounds a bit like music, which is amazing! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I've never been able to produce anything 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that sounded like music before. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 SYNTHS DRONE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And I've got a rhythm machine here, look. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Like music, isn't it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Very like modern music! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Can you sing as well? Yes, yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I can't sing with it, though. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So I'm building a machine 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that can actually play a musical instrument to go with my voice. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I can't actually play... And sing. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ..and sing to make the music 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 go in the same tune as my voice. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's a great quandary to be in, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 to want to be a pop star and yet 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 you can't play a single musical instrument. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I think it'd be very easy, actually, nowadays. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What is that thing there? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Ah, that is my wonderful robot. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Can we turn your rhythm down a bit? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I will switch all systems off. That's it. Right. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We forgot to hear this lovely sound here, actually. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Ah, not working. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 WHITE NOISE 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 No, it's not working. Never mind. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's my lovely burbling and chuckling sound. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 This is my lovely... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What is it? You'll have to explain it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's a radio controlled robot. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I used to make robots for television, years ago. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They were always cardboard boxes painted silver with men inside. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So I dreamed of making a robot that was a real robot. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So I made it all so you could see all the works. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You could see it was all true and genuine, you see. Yes. Actually... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Has she got a name? Yes, she is called... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ROBOT SPEAKS INDECIPHERABLY 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, that's not what her name is, no. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Her name is called ROSA BOSOM, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which stands for 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 "Radio operated simulated actress 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 "battery or stand-by operated mains." 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What do you mean, actress? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, I will use her in a play called The Three Musketeers, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and I use her... In that particular play, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 we're working with a very difficult actress. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I don't know if you've worked with difficult actresses... Oh, sorry! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She's a bit difficult, isn't she? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She's upstaging you there! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I built this to replace her, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Here we are, bring her over to you. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ROBOT WHIRRS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She's capable of giving you a kiss. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There you are. Oh! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And her arms go up and down. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And, uh... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Her mouth opens and closes, as you can see, and also... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She's got a little heart here. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Her heart, that's right, yes, because she falls in love. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And she can move around? Oh, yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She can't move backwards, though. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If I turn her... Oh, yeah, if you turn her... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There's all cables over the place. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Here she goes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And she can talk as well? Yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Je t'aime. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Mais ca sera polis 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 si je vois que tu es dans ma chambre. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 She needs adjusting. Tu seras perdu. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 To what? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Her lips weren't closing very well. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Actually, she's on the same frequency 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 as the cheap, Japanese, illegal walkie-talkies. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If there's a child in the neighbourhood 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 who's actually playing about with one of these... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 HE WHISTLES 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You whistle. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Press that button and whistle. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 HE WHISTLES 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You've got to hit the right note. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's marvellous. What else have you got in this Aladdin's cave? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, let me think. Um... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, God. What's at the back there? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You've got other rooms. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, out the back there, I call that my memory room. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That's all the things from my childhood, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 all my toys and dressing up clothes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I've got boxes of hats and boxes of shoes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I've got a full set of Japanese armour there. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What advice would you give to me? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You're talking to me about my dreams. What advice... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I represent a fairly standard, normal, I would think, person. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, well, I would say give up any job that brings you 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 some sort of regular income. Yeah. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And then just think very carefully. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You need to take about a year off from all the pressures and things 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that you're doing and just think, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 "What would I like to do most in the world?" 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And that might mean doing that all day. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It might mean blowing bubbles... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 MUSIC: "I'm For Ever Blowing Bubbles" by John Kellette 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # I'm for ever blowing bubbles 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Pretty bubbles in the air 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # They fly so high, nearly reach the sky 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Then like my dreams they fade and die 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Fortune's always hiding 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # I've looked everywhere 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # I'm for ever blowing bubbles 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Pretty bubbles in the air. # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What are those? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Gentlemen. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'I play games all the time. Life is to play games. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'Life is to have a good time. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'I learned that from Rebecca West. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'She said something about, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 '"If it gives pleasure, that's your touchstone." 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'I hope I'm not misquoting her. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'I do it with people and I hope I don't hurt them in doing it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'I've certainly no intention.' 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 HE PLAYS THE ORGAN 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # I think very deeply 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # I'm a really good thinker 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # People don't bother me much 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # They can see I'm using my mind 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Watch my conclusions 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm... # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 How would you describe yourself? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, that depends, depends how I'm feeling. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I find it very difficult. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's too broken up. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I could be described as a humorist, I suppose, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but that's more like a job, rather than what I am. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'm a child. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, I think that's better. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The grass springs up to meet the air coming down 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And that's a good idea 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # For if the grass laid low 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The air would have to come down the extra amount 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Because there has to be something there 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Cos there's got to be something there all the time...# 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What are you doing? Drawing. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What are you drawing? A nut. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Which one? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That one. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Why aren't you drawing the flamingos? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # An old oak tree, an oak tree stands in the shady wood 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # An old oak tree, a fleck of light 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Hits the edge of a leaf and makes the tree some food 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And makes the oak some sugary sap 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # An old oak tree 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # A long girl stands with her back on the bark 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And her arms are limp 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Her arms are limp because her bra's too tight 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And the blood cannot get through 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # An old oak tree 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # A young man stands very close to the girl 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And his face is red His face is red 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # And his temperature's up because he's been too long in the sun 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The poor long girl The red young man 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The old oak tree 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The end of the song. # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There's a touch of the anarchist in you, isn't there? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, I'm an angina! Em... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In the sense that a child is an anarchist because he hasn't - 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 he doesn't, he doesn't know any bosses. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 He hasn't discovered there are things like people you've got to obey 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 or, em, ideas that you've got to obey. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Em, I must say, I like pushing the boat a little, yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's my - it's my pleasure. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You know, they have tape recordings at the zoo about the animals 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and they're very full of good information. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But not completely to my taste. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And I thought, not that I could do better, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but that I could do differently. And, em, I made a tape recording 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and I took it to the zoo and hid it close to one, behind a bag. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Eh, and waited until there were enough people in the giraffe house 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and then I switched it on. And it went something like... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'This is an animal. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'It has four legs, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'one at each corner, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'to keep it up off the ground.' 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'It helps it also to see the people 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'who are looking at it over the barrier. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'The animals stay there till six o'clock, when the people go home. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'Then they repair to the cafeteria 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'where they have a slap-up feed and a dance, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 'and form some very interesting relationships.' 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What are you drawing? An elephant. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Oh, well, the people were absolutely frozen. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Em.. They were, they were immediately aware, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 em, as though they'd been touched up or something like that. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And they didn't know who had done it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And if it was somebody nice, they wouldn't mind. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But if it was somebody nasty... So they kept very, very still. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And didn't turn their heads around to see where it was coming from. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But they were listening like mad. You could see their ears going! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And nobody ever said anything and they all went away, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and I don't know what was in their heads. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I can imagine them going away... And they never will. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I suspect not. But it must have been quite traumatic for them. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Because it was done well enough 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that it wasn't a sort of silly schoolboy prank. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They were faced with something they couldn't deal with. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Perhaps, in a way, this is what I meant, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 creating for people who'd gotten themselves 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 surrounded by rules and regulations so that they could understand life, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 somebody coming along and pushing them all aside, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and making a statement and leaving them to deal with it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And then they're actually forced to think. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And that's my pleasure. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 This is the treasure trove, is it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes. I look upon this as my, sort of, room of memories. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I bet you've got everything in here. I don't come in here very often. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Are you just a collector of things? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do you just collect for the sake of collecting? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I like to collect things that people have used. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There, again, because they're steeped in humanity. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Everybody in England had one of these before the war. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 A do-it-yourself enema. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Fill it with soapy water, then you use it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And old records. These are records all from my childhood, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 These are all the old 78s we used to play every Saturday night 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 when my mother and I used to have parties. What sort of music is it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, you know... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # The sun has got his hat on 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Hip-hip-hip hooray. # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Don't stop, go on. No. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # In 11 more months and ten more days, I'll be out of the calaboose 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # In 11 more months and ten more days 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # They're going to turn me loose. # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And songs like my favourite one, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 which I made a record of years ago, Sleepy Valley. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Everybody loves a fireside 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # A picture sitting by a fireside 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # In a cosy little home 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # You can call your very own 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # There's a place called Sleepy Valley 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Let's go down to sleepy valley. # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And so on and so on. But it finishes off with... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Roses round the door 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Babies on the floor 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Who could ask for more in Sleepy Valley? # 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Come on, come on. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Morning. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 DUCKS QUACK 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Come on, come along. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Good morning. Good morning. Can I come in? Yes, come in. Sit down. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I've just got the one o'clock from St Pancras coming down, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 so it'll be here in a minute, you'll be able to see it. The one o'clock? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 The one o'clock from St Pancras to Leeds. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There he is, just going through now. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 BELL DINGS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Mr Martin, could you tell me exactly where I am? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, this is about five miles from St Pancras in the imagination. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We run this line on the Midland, the old Midland from St Pancras, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 we run as they were before the war, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 you see, 1938, before nationalisation. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And we've tried to run all the trains that used to run from St Pancras. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And that one I believe is still running, actually. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, this is all in steam days 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and we've tried to recreate the steam age. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Have you always loved railways? Oh, yes! 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 All my life, I've always loved railways. From boyhood? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, right from boyhood. Right from as early a day as I can remember. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In fact, I suppose, since my mother used to take me to see 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 the trains in Oxford on the Great Western. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There was a London and North Western there as well. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Did you work on the railways? No, I've never worked for the railways. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I'd like to have done, but my father had other ideas. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 One or two railwaymen who have been here have measured it 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and they say we've got between 2,500 and 3,000 feet of track. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 BELL DINGS 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, every down train, there's got to be an up train sometime. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So, you've got two loops, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In actual fact, a train will go, say, to Carlisle, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 the engine will be taken on, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 put on the other end, probably come back the following day. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So that train you've seen go down, I can actually tell you 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 when that comes back. You've seen it go down. I saw it go down. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You saw it go down. And it went down at 1:25. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That comes up at 4:03 this afternoon. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In other words, you'd have to be here now till four o'clock this afternoon 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 to see that same train come back. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Let's see, there's three, six, eight... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There's nine trains or ten trains on the main line in front of you. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They've all got to be moved. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You mentioned that your timetable is a timetable from St Pancras in 1938. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes. That's right. And from that timetable, you've built the whole... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, exactly, built the line around the timetable, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We didn't run all the trains... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If you'll excuse me, I'll just put these signals on. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's just like the real thing, it is. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, we've got horse boxes to put on. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When we ran, all the horses went by rail. And you get Ascot Week 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and the derby. There's a horse box there waiting to go. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Unfortunately, it hasn't got any horses in it 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 so it's not in any hurry. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But it's an empty one, you see, it's got to go back to Newbury. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And it goes down over Acton junction, you see, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 back down over the Great Western, eventually it will. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When it's a convenient time. But, of course, it's got horses in it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's urgent. You've got to see it gets on the right train. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And it takes time to put these on a train. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It takes as long as it does on the railway, really. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do you run Sunday trains, excursions, and things like that? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, we do. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Of course, like Easter and Whitsun and times like that, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 about a week before, Lou and I will get together, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and probably some of the other railway chaps, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and we'll work out a timetable for Easter, you see. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We'll say... We shall, this Easter, probably run perhaps 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 20 or 30 special trains. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, that's lucky. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There's a scenery van. That's a van specially built for scenery. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Very little of it done today. The scenery folds up more or less now 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but in the old days, there had to be an end door. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 In other words, these doors opened so they could slide the scenery on. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So, you backed it into a bay platform, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 where you could put the scenery in at the end. They ran on Sundays. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That was on last week, that was Pirates of Penzance. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Pirates of Penzance. It's got back now. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's gone back during the week. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Now, if there's anything this week, it'll be there, won't it, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 ready to send it. We run every day. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If you've got all this electrical stuff, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 we've got an enormous amount of stuff here, it's like a wireless set. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If you put it in the cupboard, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 forget it for a month or so, it won't go, probably. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Electrical equipment is like that. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 The more you use it, the better it is. So we run it every day. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Well, now, my wife gets relief. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I don't mean we run all day, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 but we run at least two hours every day, probably some days three. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 If it's a wet day, we run all day. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But, of course, in the summer, we've got a lot of land, and there's 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 a certain amount of work to do on the land, and the garden to see to. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But in the winter, we put in an enormous amount of time 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and we get through the timetables probably in about four days. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 That means you've run 24 hours, doesn't it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Because you start the clock when you come in here. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And when you go out, you stop it. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So, in the course of 24 hours, you've run a complete service. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You start again. Do you go on strike? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, we do. Yes, we do. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We don't with everyone, but there was a go-slow quite recently, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and we were working to rule here. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And this, of course, delayed all the trains, as you can imagine. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 There's a parcel train. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 What would be your main trouble here? Mice. Field mice. Mice? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Yes, they move in in September. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's warm in here, we've got central heating here. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We haven't got it in the house, we've got it in here. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And they all move in, you see. It's not... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's not every time, but quite often you run the first train, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 a couple of mice... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 You saw that tunnel down there, a couple of mice will come out 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 of there in front of the train and dive under the platform. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 When we built it, we didn't think of mice and so the platforms are hollow. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They've probably got nests under there, we've never had a look. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 And they steal the passengers. We've had to glue everything down. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 My wife bought a little permanent staff, about eight workmen, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 back from London with her. Little model workmen. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We used to have them working on the line in different places. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But now they have to work in the same place all the time 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 because we've had to glue them down, you see, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 because the mice stole them and hid them under the platform. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They were missing for over a year, we couldn't find them. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Because they're not very heavy, you see, they're very light, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 they're just mischievous, I suppose. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 They never ride on the trains, do they? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I've never seen them on them, no. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 But we've often seen mouse dirt on top of the carriages, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 they go like that. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We're very fond of animals, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 so we never put poison down, wouldn't do a thing like that. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We told the mice, you can help yourselves to the corn 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 that the chickens have, but you let the wires alone. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 So far... They have! ..in 15 years they have, yes. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Let's hope they'll continue to do so. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 I believe that if you tell them, they seem to behave themselves. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Do you ever get bored with it? 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Never! They say life begins at 40. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 It's 60 for me. I retired when I was 60. 14 years, nearly. 13.5 years. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 Great joy and happiness, you know. Every day seems... 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 We always say, tomorrow will be more thrilling than today, 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 and it usually is. 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Just a cosy rest, sweet and heaven blessed 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Like a bluebird's nest in Sleepy Valley 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Love is everywhere, happiness is there 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # In my old armchair in Sleepy Valley 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # All of my troubles, cares of the day 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Like silver bubbles drifting away 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Roses round the door, babies on the floor 25:24:19,771 --> 25:24:19,771 # Who could ask for more in Sleepy Valley? #