Pennod 1

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0:00:00 > 0:00:00- 888

0:00:00 > 0:00:01- 888- - 888

0:00:01 > 0:00:04- Hello. I'm Jo, - Joseff Glyn Clwyd Owen.

0:00:04 > 0:00:09- Welcome to the first of two - programmes showing forty...

0:00:10 > 0:00:15- ..of your and my favourite - scenes from C'mon Midffild.

0:00:15 > 0:00:17- Come on midfield!

0:00:20 > 0:00:22- Why me?

0:00:22 > 0:00:25- I'm one of the greatest fans.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- I won Mastermind Plant Cymru...

0:00:27 > 0:00:31- ..answering questions - about C'mon Midffild.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33- Yes, very sad, very sad.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35- Where do we start?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37- In Rhosgadfan and the committee.

0:00:38 > 0:00:43- Sadly, the old committee room - was burnt to the ground.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46- But the memories remain.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50- Offside, ref!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Stand up everyone, hurry up!

0:01:00 > 0:01:02- In remembrance of Huw. Right.

0:01:04 > 0:01:05- Excuse me.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06- Excuse me.- - Yes?

0:01:06 > 0:01:07- Before we start...

0:01:07 > 0:01:09- Before we start...- - What is it?

0:01:09 > 0:01:10- How will we know?

0:01:10 > 0:01:11- How will we know?- - What?

0:01:12 > 0:01:14- When the two minutes are over.

0:01:14 > 0:01:15- He has a point.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17- He has a point.- - Don't bull...

0:01:17 > 0:01:22- Before a match, the referee - usually times it with his stopwatch.

0:01:22 > 0:01:23- Should we do the same?

0:01:23 > 0:01:24- Should we do the same?- - Alright!

0:01:26 > 0:01:27- Right.

0:01:29 > 0:01:30- Excuse me.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32- Excuse me.- - What is it now?

0:01:32 > 0:01:36- Does anyone have a watch? - I've left mine at home.

0:01:36 > 0:01:37- Here you are.

0:01:39 > 0:01:40- Thank you.

0:01:41 > 0:01:46- In remembrance of dear old Huw, - rest in peace. Right!

0:01:46 > 0:01:46- One minute.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48- One minute.- - No, two!

0:01:48 > 0:01:49- Hold on.

0:01:49 > 0:01:50- Hold on.- - What is it now?

0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Wait for the second hand - to reach the top.

0:01:54 > 0:01:54- Good lord!

0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Good lord!- - You wanted to do this.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Five, four, three, two.

0:02:02 > 0:02:03- Go!

0:02:03 > 0:02:04- Right!

0:02:12 > 0:02:13- What are you doing?

0:02:13 > 0:02:15- What are you doing?- - It's stopped.

0:02:15 > 0:02:16- Don't do that!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18- Don't do that!- - Give it to me.

0:02:18 > 0:02:22- Just count to 60 twice, - if you can count that high!

0:02:22 > 0:02:25- There's no need to be sarcastic.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29- In remembrance of dear old Huw, - rest in peace, right!

0:02:29 > 0:02:34- One, two, three, four, five.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35- What are you doing?

0:02:35 > 0:02:36- What are you doing?- - Counting.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40- How can we have two minutes' - silence if you...

0:02:40 > 0:02:40- I've had enough!

0:02:40 > 0:02:42- I've had enough!- - Where are you going?

0:02:42 > 0:02:47- Outside. I'll have two - minutes' silence on my own!

0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Do you remember when it all began?

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Mold, 1978?

0:02:58 > 0:03:04- Yes. Who'd have thought we'd still - be talking about it in 2010?

0:03:04 > 0:03:06- I've never asked you this.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Do you have a favourite scene?

0:03:09 > 0:03:15- I'm quite fond of the Monopoly - scene, with Wali and his mother.

0:03:17 > 0:03:18- What on earth...!

0:03:21 > 0:03:22- Three.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- One, two, three.

0:03:25 > 0:03:26- Water Works.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Water Works.- - Aha, that belongs to me! Pay up.

0:03:29 > 0:03:30- No, it doesn't!

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- It is, I paid good money for it!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35- You sold it back to the Bank!

0:03:35 > 0:03:36- No, it's here!

0:03:36 > 0:03:39- No, it's here!- - Show me your Water Works!

0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Don't talk dirty to your mother!

0:03:43 > 0:03:44- Come on.

0:03:47 > 0:03:48- Seven.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- One, two, three, - four, five, six, seven.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- Bond Street with four - houses and a hotel - 1,400.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Scandal, that's what it is!

0:04:10 > 0:04:11- Thank you.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18- Right.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20- Five.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- One, two, three, four, five.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24- Community Chest.

0:04:25 > 0:04:30- Go to Jail, move directly to Jail. - Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200.

0:04:30 > 0:04:34- Quite right too, after you - stole your mother's money!

0:04:34 > 0:04:37- Don't expect me to visit you.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41- Five.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43- One, two, three, four, five.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Mayfair, with a hotel. 2,000!

0:04:47 > 0:04:49- Will you take a cheque?

0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Will you take a cheque?- - Ha ha, you don't have it!

0:04:51 > 0:04:53- You're bankrupt, I've won!

0:04:53 > 0:04:55- You're bankrupt, I've won!- - No! I'll get 200 shortly.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- But you owe me more!

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- And how much do you owe me?

0:05:01 > 0:05:02- And how much do you owe me?- - Nothing!

0:05:03 > 0:05:07- You do, you owe me rent - for forty years of food and lodging!

0:05:07 > 0:05:09- KNOCK AT DOOR

0:05:09 > 0:05:13- Washing your filthy smalls, - cleaning hairs from the bath!

0:05:13 > 0:05:16- That doesn't count, - I'm not a lodger!

0:05:16 > 0:05:21- I'd have been better off - keeping a lodger than Walter Tomos!

0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Who is it?

0:05:24 > 0:05:27- You made me do some terrible things.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28- Such as?

0:05:29 > 0:05:33- Take my clothes off. - Strip in front of the whole nation.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Only once, John.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Three times, excuse me!

0:05:38 > 0:05:40- I arranged a stunt double for you.

0:05:40 > 0:05:45- Too right! Did you expect me - to show my bum in public in Llanrug?

0:05:45 > 0:05:46- My double indeed!

0:05:47 > 0:05:51- A skinny wimp who would be reported - missing if he turned sideways.

0:05:51 > 0:05:55- Anyway, my bum isn't in the clip, - that's what matters.

0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Thank goodness for that.

0:05:57 > 0:05:58- Thank goodness for that.- - Amen.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03- DOORBELL

0:06:03 > 0:06:06- Asafoetida! It's always the same. - I'm not at home.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08- HUMS

0:06:08 > 0:06:10- DOORBELL

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- I'm in the bath!

0:06:14 > 0:06:16- DOORBELL

0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Alright!

0:06:23 > 0:06:24- Typical.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Hello. Hello?

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- What...

0:06:33 > 0:06:35- George!

0:06:35 > 0:06:37- Bloody hell, George, I'll kill you!

0:06:37 > 0:06:40- George, open the door!

0:06:42 > 0:06:44- Mrs Roberts, how are you...

0:06:45 > 0:06:46- Nice day.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48- My god!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Geooooorge!

0:06:54 > 0:06:55- George!

0:06:55 > 0:06:57- Yes, Arfur?

0:06:57 > 0:06:58- Yes, Arfur?- - What?

0:06:58 > 0:07:02- Like the suit. Is it your birthday?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04- But who the hell is inside?

0:07:04 > 0:07:05- How are you, dear Archie?

0:07:05 > 0:07:06- How are you, dear Archie?- - God!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Not so little now.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10- Good grief!

0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Here I am, behind the bar.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Sandra Picton's favourite place.

0:07:16 > 0:07:21- Sandra was a big part - of my life for years.

0:07:21 > 0:07:26- It was a great role, as she had - such depths of character.

0:07:28 > 0:07:29- Come on, lads!

0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Sit down.

0:07:33 > 0:07:34- Now!

0:07:41 > 0:07:44- What are you lot trying to do?

0:07:44 > 0:07:46- ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

0:07:46 > 0:07:47- Hush!

0:07:49 > 0:07:54- I'll tell you what you're - trying to do - destroy this club.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55- They started!

0:07:55 > 0:07:56- They started!- - Quiet!

0:07:57 > 0:08:00- You've all said enough, - it's my turn now.

0:08:01 > 0:08:07- If you could hear yourselves! - Toddlers wouldn't be so childish.

0:08:07 > 0:08:08- ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

0:08:08 > 0:08:11- There you go again!

0:08:12 > 0:08:14- I'll tell you whose fault it is.

0:08:17 > 0:08:18- Yours.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22- Every man jack of you.

0:08:29 > 0:08:34- The manager blames the goalie - because his team lost.

0:08:34 > 0:08:38- The goalie doesn't want to shop - with his wife on Saturdays.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- The linesman thinks he's a coach.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46- And the player thinks - he's good enough to play for Rhyl.

0:08:46 > 0:08:47- Oi!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49- Oi!- - No, George.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52- You're not good enough.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54- Right!

0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Now we know what the problem is...

0:08:58 > 0:09:00- ..what's the solution?

0:09:06 > 0:09:08- I don't want to be the manager.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11- I'd rather be the linesman.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Is there a spare pair - of football boots?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24- I'll get my shirt.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- I'll have a word with the lads.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39- This was the Bryncoch - football pitch.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42- Now, it's the site for a new school.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Bryncoch's changing hut was here.

0:09:45 > 0:09:50- It's been demolished too, like - the committee room, unfortunately.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54- It was pulled down - in the series too.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56- Come on, Bryncoch!

0:09:59 > 0:10:00- Are you listening, Mr Picton?

0:10:00 > 0:10:01- Are you listening, Mr Picton?- - No!

0:10:01 > 0:10:04- I've sawn the old hut - in a few places.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07- All that's holding it up - is this pole.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08- Why?

0:10:09 > 0:10:12- To persuade JK Homes - not to build houses on our pitch.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14- How, Wal?

0:10:14 > 0:10:19- They wouldn't want to be responsible - for the death of four from Bryncoch!

0:10:19 > 0:10:20- What do you mean?

0:10:21 > 0:10:23- My god!

0:10:23 > 0:10:27- I've had enough, I'm going.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29- You can't!

0:10:29 > 0:10:30- You can't!- - Stop, George!

0:10:30 > 0:10:31- Tecwyn, do something!

0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Tecwyn, do something!- - Stop, George.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36- George, I'm warning you!

0:10:36 > 0:10:37- RUMBLING

0:10:37 > 0:10:40- Wali, I'm warning you! Stop!

0:10:41 > 0:10:42- Stop, Wali!

0:10:43 > 0:10:44- KNOCK ON DOOR

0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Dad, are you alright?

0:10:47 > 0:10:48- Dad, are you alright?- - Sandra!

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Arthur, are you alright?

0:10:51 > 0:10:53- Arthur, are you alright?- - Elen, is that you?

0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Tecwyn, I'm here too.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57- Tecwyn, I'm here too.- - Great, Jean.

0:10:57 > 0:11:03- Wali, JK Homes got the message - you left on their answering machine.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07- You see! When are they coming here?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10- The owner is with me now.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13- Open the door, love.

0:11:17 > 0:11:18- Right-o.

0:11:18 > 0:11:19- Where's the key?

0:11:20 > 0:11:21- In Mr Picton's pocket.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23- In Mr Picton's pocket.- - What?

0:11:23 > 0:11:24- I put it there, in the dark.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25- I put it there, in the dark.- - Asafoetida!

0:11:25 > 0:11:26- Nice one!

0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Nice one!- - Not bad.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Jane, what are you doing here?

0:11:36 > 0:11:39- I've come to discuss with you.

0:11:39 > 0:11:40- JK...

0:11:40 > 0:11:42- ..Jane Knucky!

0:11:42 > 0:11:44- With a silent K.

0:11:45 > 0:11:46- 'Pon my soul.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47- 'Pon my soul.- - You?

0:11:48 > 0:11:52- I've found you another pitch, - one of Edgar Ty Du's fields.

0:11:53 > 0:11:54- How?

0:11:54 > 0:11:58- Where there's a will, - there's a way. Eh, lads?

0:11:58 > 0:12:00- ALL MUMBLE

0:12:00 > 0:12:02- Jane Ty Cocyn's a hell of a woman.

0:12:02 > 0:12:03- Jane Ty Cocyn's a hell of a woman.- - True.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06- What do you say?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08- I'll pay for a new changing hut too.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10- Well...

0:12:10 > 0:12:14- ..we need a new kit, actually.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17- Alright, a kit too.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Right-o. Put it there...

0:12:21 > 0:12:22- Ouch!

0:12:22 > 0:12:23- Unlock this!

0:12:23 > 0:12:25- Unlock this!- - I don't have a key.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26- What?

0:12:26 > 0:12:28- They're at home, I'll get them.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30- They're at home, I'll get them.- - It's OK, hang on.

0:12:30 > 0:12:31- Aargh!

0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Get out!

0:12:34 > 0:12:36- SCREAMS

0:12:38 > 0:12:39- Hurry!

0:12:39 > 0:12:42- Don't worry, it won't fall down.

0:12:42 > 0:12:44- You don't mean...

0:12:44 > 0:12:46- Psychologicks, that's what it is.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51- The old shed is like - the Rock of Ages. Look!

0:12:56 > 0:12:57- .

0:13:00 > 0:13:00- 888

0:13:00 > 0:13:02- 888- - 888

0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Asafoetida!

0:13:04 > 0:13:08- Tecs and Jean's - relationship was quite bizarre.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10- Jean thought she ruled the roost.

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- Although Tecwyn looked naive...

0:13:14 > 0:13:16- ..he was as crafty as a fox.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20- Harri, don't play with that!

0:13:20 > 0:13:24- "Why, Lord, did you make - Cwm Pennant so beautiful

0:13:25 > 0:13:27- "And a shepherd's life so short?"

0:13:27 > 0:13:29- Not bad at all.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34- But we've still got - quite a lot of work to do.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Once again, from the beginning.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45- "Cwm Pennant

0:13:45 > 0:13:47- "Embraced by the lonely hills

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- "It is the loveliest of vales

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- "Home of the stoat and fox

0:13:54 > 0:13:57- "The hawk and all his kin"

0:13:58 > 0:14:01- Well done. Once more.

0:14:02 > 0:14:07- From time to time, Lydia Tomos - did things that shocked everyone.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Come on, Bryncoch!

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Yes, that's it, Nain Tomos.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- What do I do next?

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Two clicks now.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20- TONGUE CLICKS

0:14:21 > 0:14:22- Like that?

0:14:22 > 0:14:24- No.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26- On the mouse.

0:14:26 > 0:14:27- I see!

0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Here's your email.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36- Good grief!

0:14:37 > 0:14:39- And what do I do with that?

0:14:40 > 0:14:42- You can send letters to people.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44- I see.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47- And where do I put the stamp?

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- George's heart - was in the right place.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56- He'd do anything to earn a living - to support his family.

0:14:56 > 0:15:01- But his ideas for making money - weren't universally acceptable.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03- Offside, ref!

0:15:04 > 0:15:06- SCREAMS

0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Come on, you dirty pervert!

0:15:23 > 0:15:25- SCREAMS

0:15:26 > 0:15:28- Pig!

0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Please, Arfur, don't tell Sandra!

0:15:31 > 0:15:32- Alright?

0:15:32 > 0:15:37- God, no, I'm going to tell her now. - Let's go, we might catch something.

0:15:38 > 0:15:39- Arfur, I wouldn't...

0:15:39 > 0:15:40- Arfur, I wouldn't...- - What?

0:15:41 > 0:15:43- Nothing.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49- SCREAMS

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- Open the bloody door!

0:16:01 > 0:16:02- Insurance, aye!

0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Let's go, lads! This way.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07- Let's go, lads! This way.- - What about Arthur?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10- You save him.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17- Slow down, Mr Picton!

0:16:17 > 0:16:19- No fears, pal, with me like this!

0:16:20 > 0:16:22- What if we got stopped by...

0:16:22 > 0:16:24- POLICE SIRENS

0:16:31 > 0:16:32- Oh, dear me!

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Oh, dear me!- - It could be worse, Mr Picton.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Good lord, how?

0:16:39 > 0:16:41- It could be me.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46- This takes me back.

0:16:46 > 0:16:51- This is where I stood in the goal - as Tecwyn Parri, dear old Tecs.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- He was sensible, allegedly.

0:16:54 > 0:16:59- So why on earth did he go - along with Picton's crazy plans?

0:16:59 > 0:17:04- The answer is simple. Anything - was better than shopping with Jean.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08- Come on, Parri, watch him!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- The funds pay for the team members - and the manager.

0:17:12 > 0:17:13- Of course.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18- Then everyone else - pays his own fare.

0:17:18 > 0:17:19- What do you think?

0:17:20 > 0:17:21- Oh.

0:17:22 > 0:17:23- What about...

0:17:23 > 0:17:24- What about...- - Who?

0:17:30 > 0:17:31- Oh.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40- No money.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46- Oh, well, if I can't go, I can't go!

0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Very sad, very sad.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51- But you may as well face up to it.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54- I'm sure we can do something, Wali.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Will you pay for him?

0:17:58 > 0:17:59- Well...

0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Well...- - So don't get his hopes up!

0:18:02 > 0:18:07- He'd better understand now, rather - than suffer disappointment later.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09- I don't mind.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11- You can go in my place, Wali.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Goodness, no, Sandra!

0:18:16 > 0:18:17- Anyway...

0:18:17 > 0:18:19- ..I've been there once before.

0:18:20 > 0:18:21- Eh?

0:18:24 > 0:18:25- Here.

0:18:33 > 0:18:34- Well...

0:18:34 > 0:18:36- ..excuse me.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39- Lots to do.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45- I don't think I'd be free, anyway...

0:18:46 > 0:18:48- ..come to think of it.

0:18:49 > 0:18:50- Bye.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Poor dab.

0:18:54 > 0:18:55- Aye.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58- You have a heart of stone!

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- There's no sentiment in football.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05- But there is a way - of breaking the news.

0:19:06 > 0:19:07- Is there?

0:19:07 > 0:19:08- Is there?- - Yes!

0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Especially someone like Wali.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13- He takes it to heart.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16- He thinks the world of you.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20- He wouldn't do anything to hurt you.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25- Although he doesn't show it...

0:19:26 > 0:19:29- ..he's very sensitive.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36- GLASS SMASHING AND SCREAMS

0:19:36 > 0:19:38- What the hell...

0:19:38 > 0:19:40- What the hell...- - Up yours, Mr Picton!

0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Yes, very sensitive.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51- Picton was quite a simple character.

0:19:51 > 0:19:56- But he had secrets - which he kept to himself.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59- One was revealed in one episode.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00- Here it is.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Come on, Bryncoch! Offside!

0:20:05 > 0:20:06- Blackmail?

0:20:07 > 0:20:09- If you've done something shameful...

0:20:09 > 0:20:10- What are you incinerating?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12- What are you incinerating?- - Maybe a long time ago.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13- Goodness me!

0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Goodness me!- - It'd be better if you told us.

0:20:15 > 0:20:20- Yes, Mr Picton, then we could - be ashamed of it together.

0:20:20 > 0:20:24- You make me sound like a pervert! - All I did was...

0:20:28 > 0:20:29- Yes, Arthur?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Yes, Arthur?- - Yes, Mr Picton?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- I failed my driving test.

0:20:40 > 0:20:41- What?

0:20:44 > 0:20:48- I can't make it any clearer. - I haven't passed my test!

0:20:49 > 0:20:51- You haven't... What do you mean?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59- In the early 1950s, - I got a job in the bakery...

0:20:59 > 0:21:01- ..on condition - that I passed my test.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04- I failed it.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06- How?

0:21:06 > 0:21:07- How?- - What do you mean?

0:21:08 > 0:21:12- You'd have had to be an idiot - to fail it at that time. That is...

0:21:13 > 0:21:15- Hush, Wali!

0:21:23 > 0:21:28- After the test, - I took the Ls off the van...

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- ..thinking I'd lost the job.

0:21:30 > 0:21:35- Then the boss arrived. - He took it for granted I'd passed.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Well, I didn't put him straight.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40- So you don't have a licence?

0:21:40 > 0:21:44- Yes, a provisional one. - I renew it as required.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45- What about the car's tax and MOT?

0:21:45 > 0:21:47- What about the car's tax and MOT?- - The car is in Elsie's name.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49- She doesn't drive.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51- She doesn't drive.- - No, but she's passed her test.

0:21:51 > 0:21:52- Funny, that.

0:21:52 > 0:21:53- Funny, that.- - Do you think so?

0:21:54 > 0:21:54- But...

0:21:54 > 0:21:55- But...- - No!

0:21:55 > 0:21:59- I've never been asked - to show it to a policeman, so far.

0:21:59 > 0:22:03- Until Derek found my wallet - and began nosing around.

0:22:04 > 0:22:05- It is blackmail, I told you!

0:22:05 > 0:22:06- It is blackmail, I told you!- - No!

0:22:06 > 0:22:11- He said we have - to look after each other.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15- And that's what's behind all this.

0:22:16 > 0:22:20- You know how close - to my heart the club is.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23- But when it comes to the crunch...

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- ..Elsie and Sandra - are much more important.

0:22:27 > 0:22:32- If keeping Derek happy would avoid - hurting Elsie and my little girl...

0:22:32 > 0:22:35- ..I'd make him manager of the club!

0:22:38 > 0:22:39- .

0:22:41 > 0:22:41- 888

0:22:41 > 0:22:43- 888- - 888

0:22:45 > 0:22:46- Welcome back.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49- George had a lot of different jobs.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52- One of them was cleaning windows.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Come on, Bryncoch!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- See that you clean - them properly this time...

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- ..or I shall have - to find somebody else. Alright?

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- And while you're at it, you may as - well wash the car windows as well.

0:23:07 > 0:23:08- Alright?

0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Alright, Miss Crawley.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14- The simpleton won't smash - any windows, will he?

0:23:14 > 0:23:16- Who? Oh, no.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19- I'll do it with your ugly mug, - you old cow.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22- What did you say?

0:23:22 > 0:23:26- You'll be able to see your face - in them, they'll be sparkling.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29- What a strange little man you are.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32- OK, Wal?

0:23:32 > 0:23:34- Only the bottom ones left now.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36- Only the bottom ones left now.- - Remind me to do the car.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38- What's the matter?

0:23:38 > 0:23:41- Poxy Picton is leaving the house.

0:23:41 > 0:23:42- This is my chance!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44- This is my chance!- - To do what?

0:23:44 > 0:23:45- To see if Sandra's there. Move!

0:23:45 > 0:23:47- To see if Sandra's there. Move!- - What about these?

0:23:47 > 0:23:52- Chuck water on them and the car, she - won't notice. I'll get the money.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Aaah!

0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Good lord! So sorry. Lucky.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21- Help!

0:24:24 > 0:24:25- You!

0:24:28 > 0:24:30- Thank you.

0:24:34 > 0:24:35- Ugh!

0:24:37 > 0:24:39- I can't stand onions.

0:24:39 > 0:24:44- Actually, I've got a weak stomach, - just like Arthur Picton.

0:24:48 > 0:24:49- Ugh!

0:24:50 > 0:24:52- VOMITS

0:24:53 > 0:24:58- He was sick many times - in several series.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00- Ugh...

0:25:03 > 0:25:05- But here's the sickness - chosen by you.

0:25:09 > 0:25:10- Thank you, good girl.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12- They look tasty.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Where are yours, Tecwyn?

0:25:17 > 0:25:18- I didn't have time to make any.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20- I didn't have time to make any.- - Oh.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24- Sandra!

0:25:24 > 0:25:26- Sandra!- - What is it?

0:25:26 > 0:25:28- This isn't salad cream.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30- This isn't salad cream.- - I know, it's mayonnaise.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32- You know I hate it!

0:25:32 > 0:25:33- You know I hate it!- - Since when?

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- What have you got?

0:25:37 > 0:25:38- What have you got?- - Tuna.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40- Swap with me.

0:25:40 > 0:25:41- Swap with me.- - Dad!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44- It's alright, I like mayonnaise.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46- It's nice.

0:25:47 > 0:25:48- Give them to me.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57- I think we're lost. - We'd better ask the way.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01- Good idea, - there's a sheep in that field.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Are there bones in tuna?

0:26:11 > 0:26:13- Don't know. Let me see.

0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Ugh. That's a hair.

0:26:18 > 0:26:19- Eh?

0:26:21 > 0:26:23- Good god, you filthy pig!

0:26:23 > 0:26:24- Ugh...

0:26:26 > 0:26:28- Aaah...

0:26:34 > 0:26:39- So you claim that Tecs was - the most sensible character, do you?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41- Yes, obviously.

0:26:41 > 0:26:46- How did Lydia Tomos and Tecs - get on so well?

0:26:46 > 0:26:47- Well, they spoke the same language.

0:26:47 > 0:26:48- Well, they spoke the same language.- - Oh?

0:26:49 > 0:26:51- He knew how to keep her sweet.

0:26:53 > 0:26:54- Offside, ref!

0:26:56 > 0:26:58- Good morning, Lydia Tomos.

0:26:58 > 0:26:59- Good morning, Lydia Tomos.- - Tecwyn Parri.

0:27:00 > 0:27:01- How are you today?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04- How are you today?- - Fair. Thank you for asking.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06- Sorry to hear about your problems.

0:27:07 > 0:27:11- If you ask me, - it's Walter Tomos's fault...

0:27:11 > 0:27:16- ..drinking with that scamp Picton - and not looking after me.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- You weren't out drinking, I hope.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22- No, I was at home with the family.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24- Good for you.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27- How are Jean Parri and the children?

0:27:27 > 0:27:29- Fine, thanks.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31- They send their best wishes.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Is Walter Tomos up?

0:27:34 > 0:27:37- The bomb dropped - a quarter an hour ago.

0:27:37 > 0:27:38- What? Oh, the bomb.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40- What? Oh, the bomb.- - That's what I said.

0:27:41 > 0:27:45- Walter Tomos, come down. - Tecwyn Parri wants a word!

0:27:46 > 0:27:48- There's no need to shout!

0:27:52 > 0:27:53- Hello, Tecs.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Sorry. Were you having a wash?

0:27:57 > 0:27:58- No, shaving.

0:28:00 > 0:28:05- Wali Tomos had a natural gift - of getting information...

0:28:05 > 0:28:09- ..and passing it on - in a totally misleading way.

0:28:09 > 0:28:13- If you add George Huws to the mix, - it's a recipe for disaster!

0:28:14 > 0:28:16- After the ball!

0:28:19 > 0:28:20- What do you want from Santa?

0:28:20 > 0:28:21- What do you want from Santa?- - A team.

0:28:21 > 0:28:24- Can I spend Christmas with you?

0:28:24 > 0:28:25- Can I spend Christmas with you?- - Don't talk nonsense.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27- I told you.

0:28:29 > 0:28:30- Anyway, I'm not Santa Claus.

0:28:30 > 0:28:31- Anyway, I'm not Santa Claus.- - Why?

0:28:31 > 0:28:32- Because...

0:28:33 > 0:28:36- ..the costume's too small.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37- Yes.

0:28:38 > 0:28:39- So you'll have to do it.

0:28:39 > 0:28:40- So you'll have to do it.- - Arthur.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42- There is no-one else.

0:28:42 > 0:28:43- I'll do it.

0:28:43 > 0:28:44- I'll do it.- - There's no-one else.

0:28:44 > 0:28:45- Bog!

0:28:45 > 0:28:46- Bog!- - What?

0:28:46 > 0:28:48- Bog!

0:28:49 > 0:28:51- Well, Tecwyn?

0:28:51 > 0:28:55- I'll do it, - if I can't find anyone else.

0:28:55 > 0:28:56- COUGHS

0:28:56 > 0:29:00- Are you hoarse after singing carols?

0:29:00 > 0:29:01- Are you hoarse after singing carols?- - No.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05- Sandra, - do you want to buy a raffle ticket?

0:29:05 > 0:29:06- The prize is Tecs's turkey.

0:29:06 > 0:29:07- The prize is Tecs's turkey.- - OK.

0:29:07 > 0:29:10- Who the hell wants - a turkey on Christmas Eve?

0:29:10 > 0:29:15- A good question. Who the hell - wants a turkey on Christmas Eve?

0:29:16 > 0:29:17- I don't know, I only contributed it.

0:29:17 > 0:29:18- I don't know, I only contributed it.- - Your own turkey?

0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Yes. Jean's turned into a veggie.

0:29:22 > 0:29:24- By the way, Sandra...

0:29:24 > 0:29:29- ..it's not true, - in case a rumour goes around.

0:29:29 > 0:29:30- What?

0:29:30 > 0:29:35- That Jean's an alcoholic - and drinks at home.

0:29:36 > 0:29:40- Jean? I didn't know - that she drank at all!

0:29:40 > 0:29:43- Wali's talking nonsense. She isn't.

0:29:44 > 0:29:45- That's what I said.

0:29:45 > 0:29:46- What, Wal?

0:29:46 > 0:29:47- What, Wal?- - About Jean.

0:29:48 > 0:29:51- Jean is a total abstainer, OK?

0:29:53 > 0:29:55- What? So she doesn't eat meat.

0:30:01 > 0:30:06- Many very funny scenes happened - in places such as hospitals.

0:30:06 > 0:30:10- From your response, - this one is very popular.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12- I don't know why, mind you.

0:30:13 > 0:30:14- Go on your own, son!

0:30:18 > 0:30:20- Well, Mr Picton!

0:30:20 > 0:30:22- Hello, Wali.

0:30:22 > 0:30:23- Are you sick?

0:30:23 > 0:30:25- Are you sick?- - Sick of Mam.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27- I heard.

0:30:27 > 0:30:30- She's having an MOT for the trip.

0:30:33 > 0:30:34- Have you been shopping?

0:30:34 > 0:30:36- Have you been shopping?- - A few odds and ends.

0:30:36 > 0:30:37- Ketchup?

0:30:37 > 0:30:38- Ketchup?- - No.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42- No, are you here for a "ketch-up"?

0:30:42 > 0:30:46- Yes, and to give an example.

0:30:47 > 0:30:48- An example of what?

0:30:48 > 0:30:50- An example of what?- - What do you think?

0:30:50 > 0:30:51- My sewing work?

0:30:51 > 0:30:53- My sewing work?- - Oh.

0:30:53 > 0:30:56- Damn, I must go to the toilet. - Once you start!

0:30:56 > 0:30:58- Are you going now?

0:30:58 > 0:31:00- Are you going now?- - No! Hold this while I go.

0:31:08 > 0:31:10- SOUND OF WATER

0:31:24 > 0:31:26- Mam!

0:31:28 > 0:31:30- Mam, what's the matter?

0:31:31 > 0:31:32- Bah!

0:31:37 > 0:31:38- Is your mother still in there?

0:31:38 > 0:31:40- Is your mother still in there?- - No, she's gone. She's sulking.

0:31:40 > 0:31:42- Bad news, Mr Picton.

0:31:42 > 0:31:43- Bad news, Mr Picton.- - Oh?

0:31:43 > 0:31:47- Mam's got thrombonsis, - something like that.

0:31:47 > 0:31:49- Or she will, on a long-haul flight.

0:31:49 > 0:31:50- She can't go.

0:31:50 > 0:31:52- She can't go.- - Very sad. So you can go on the trip.

0:31:52 > 0:31:54- No, that's the bad news.

0:31:55 > 0:32:00- She said it's up to Sandra - who goes with her. I have no chance.

0:32:00 > 0:32:01- Bye.

0:32:01 > 0:32:06- Yes, - if I have any say in the matter.

0:32:12 > 0:32:13- .

0:32:15 > 0:32:15- 888

0:32:15 > 0:32:17- 888- - 888

0:32:19 > 0:32:20- Welcome back.

0:32:21 > 0:32:24- I'm joined now, - on the site of the committee room...

0:32:24 > 0:32:28- ..by Mei Jones, - Wali Tomos and author of the series.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29- Are you a committee man, Mei?

0:32:29 > 0:32:30- Are you a committee man, Mei?- - No.

0:32:30 > 0:32:31- Thanks.

0:32:33 > 0:32:34- Come on, Bryncoch!

0:32:35 > 0:32:37- A hundred and ten what?

0:32:37 > 0:32:39- Sorry. 110, Miss Parri.

0:32:40 > 0:32:41- No!

0:32:41 > 0:32:43- Yes, it's 110.

0:32:43 > 0:32:45- Yes, it's 110.- - Look!

0:32:45 > 0:32:47- 1890, 1900.

0:32:48 > 0:32:51- 10, 20, 30, 40, 50...

0:32:51 > 0:32:54- ..60, 70, 80, 90.

0:32:54 > 0:32:55- Count with me.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.

0:33:00 > 0:33:01- Times ten is?

0:33:01 > 0:33:02- Times ten is?- - 110.

0:33:02 > 0:33:04- How can it be?

0:33:04 > 0:33:08- Wali's right. Ten times 11 is 110.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10- But between 1890 and 1990...

0:33:10 > 0:33:13- ..there are 100 years, Tecwyn.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16- I know what it is. - We forgot the leap year.

0:33:16 > 0:33:21- There must have been - at least ten since 1900.

0:33:21 > 0:33:22- Bloody hell! Tell him, Tecwyn.

0:33:22 > 0:33:23- Bloody hell! Tell him, Tecwyn.- - Alright.

0:33:23 > 0:33:27- You've been counting - the poles, not the gaps, Wali.

0:33:27 > 0:33:28- What poles?

0:33:30 > 0:33:32- Well... what poles?

0:33:32 > 0:33:33- These.

0:33:33 > 0:33:35- Think of these as telegraph poles.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39- Count the gaps between them.

0:33:39 > 0:33:42- What do I do - with the telegraph poles?

0:33:42 > 0:33:45- I know what I'd like to do.

0:33:45 > 0:33:49- Nothing, Wali. Just count - what's between them. Do you see?

0:33:49 > 0:33:50- I think so.

0:33:50 > 0:33:51- I think so.- - Hallelujah.

0:33:51 > 0:33:52- You should do this, Mr Picton.

0:33:52 > 0:33:54- You should do this, Mr Picton.- - I know what to do, you fool!

0:33:55 > 0:33:57- Oh. Right.

0:33:57 > 0:33:59- I'll work it out in a jiffy.

0:33:59 > 0:34:01- There's no hurry. Where was I?

0:34:01 > 0:34:02- The club's centenary.

0:34:02 > 0:34:04- The club's centenary.- - Yes.

0:34:04 > 0:34:06- Apart from the two wars, of course.

0:34:06 > 0:34:09- Does that affect my poles?

0:34:09 > 0:34:11- Ah. No... right.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13- Excuse me.

0:34:13 > 0:34:14- Where are you going?

0:34:14 > 0:34:16- Where are you going?- - Let him go!

0:34:16 > 0:34:17- We should celebrate.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19- We should celebrate.- - That Wali's gone out?

0:34:19 > 0:34:24- The centenary! It's a chance - to raise some money for the club.

0:34:24 > 0:34:26- Yes. What did you have in mind?

0:34:26 > 0:34:28- Yes. What did you have in mind?- - Well...

0:34:33 > 0:34:38- What about a match between - Bryncoch and a team of celebs?

0:34:39 > 0:34:41- Television stars.

0:34:41 > 0:34:42- Why not?

0:34:43 > 0:34:45- What the hell is he doing?

0:34:45 > 0:34:46- What the hell is he doing?- - What?

0:34:58 > 0:34:59- When would you hold the match?

0:34:59 > 0:35:01- When would you hold the match?- - As soon as possible.

0:35:01 > 0:35:05- Easter Monday? We'd have three weeks - to organize it.

0:35:06 > 0:35:07- Alright.

0:35:07 > 0:35:10- In Bangor or Caernarfon, - we'd make more money.

0:35:10 > 0:35:12- Probably.

0:35:12 > 0:35:14- I've got it, Mr Picton!

0:35:14 > 0:35:15- I've got it, Mr Picton!- - Hooray. What?

0:35:15 > 0:35:17- A hundred.

0:35:17 > 0:35:18- At last.

0:35:19 > 0:35:20- Yards.

0:35:22 > 0:35:24- I'm going for a pint.

0:35:25 > 0:35:30- Arthur Picton was quite - a nasty manager, wasn't he, John?

0:35:30 > 0:35:31- Yes, and cunning.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33- Do you remember that episode...

0:35:34 > 0:35:37- ..when he played George - though he was drunk as a skunk.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40- Brian Bighead was being a bighead.

0:35:40 > 0:35:41- LAUGHS

0:35:41 > 0:35:42- Yes!

0:35:44 > 0:35:46- Come on, midfield!

0:35:48 > 0:35:49- What's your name?

0:35:49 > 0:35:52- What's your name?- - G... Gordon Whitehead. Gorilla!

0:35:54 > 0:35:55- Hey, ref!

0:35:56 > 0:35:58- WHISTLE

0:35:58 > 0:36:00- That's enough!

0:36:03 > 0:36:04- Off, ref!

0:36:12 > 0:36:14- That pig's done it before!

0:36:14 > 0:36:16- Are you OK, George?

0:36:16 > 0:36:17- He should be off, ref!

0:36:17 > 0:36:19- He should be off, ref!- - You do your job, I'll do mine.

0:36:20 > 0:36:21- What's that, a grave digger?

0:36:21 > 0:36:22- What's that, a grave digger?- - Enough.

0:36:22 > 0:36:25- When did your parents get married?

0:36:27 > 0:36:29- Right. Name!

0:36:31 > 0:36:32- Drake.

0:36:33 > 0:36:33- First name.

0:36:33 > 0:36:34- First name.- - Francis.

0:36:35 > 0:36:36- Nice one.

0:36:36 > 0:36:36- And you?

0:36:36 > 0:36:38- And you?- - Duck, Donald.

0:36:38 > 0:36:39- Comedians, eh?

0:36:41 > 0:36:42- That's enough.

0:36:42 > 0:36:43- Use a real name!

0:36:43 > 0:36:44- Use a real name!- - Alright.

0:36:45 > 0:36:47- He's coming back.

0:36:49 > 0:36:50- Name?

0:36:50 > 0:36:52- Name?- - Ned Thompson.

0:36:55 > 0:36:55- And you?

0:36:55 > 0:36:56- And you?- - Arthur Picton.

0:36:57 > 0:36:58- Idiot!

0:36:59 > 0:37:01- I miss our old home.

0:37:02 > 0:37:07- I had many tender scenes there - with George and the twins...

0:37:07 > 0:37:11- ..Gwenllian Angharad - and George Junior.

0:37:11 > 0:37:17- And I had many unromantic, - insensitive scenes there.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19- Yes, you're right.

0:37:19 > 0:37:22- That was thanks - to Arthur Picton, or Dad!

0:37:23 > 0:37:25- Come on, Bryncoch! Come on, lads!

0:37:27 > 0:37:28- What did you say?

0:37:29 > 0:37:29- Chips, eggs.

0:37:29 > 0:37:31- Chips, eggs.- - No, after that.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33- George and I are getting married.

0:37:33 > 0:37:35- George and I are getting married.- - What? Don't talk nonsense.

0:37:35 > 0:37:37- You can't stop me!

0:37:37 > 0:37:39- You can't stop me!- - We'll see about that, Madam!

0:37:39 > 0:37:43- You always moaned to Mam you hadn't - had a son to play football with!

0:37:43 > 0:37:45- I wanted a son, not a hoodlum.

0:37:45 > 0:37:50- You said you'd like to see - your grandson play for Bryncoch.

0:37:50 > 0:37:54- The only way you'll do that - is with George as his father!

0:37:55 > 0:37:55- Sandra, you're not...

0:37:55 > 0:37:56- Sandra, you're not...- - What?

0:37:56 > 0:38:00- I can see it in your face! - I knew it'd end up like this!

0:38:00 > 0:38:05- I told Elsie, - but no-one would listen to me!

0:38:05 > 0:38:06- But Dad...

0:38:06 > 0:38:08- But Dad...- - What will people say?

0:38:09 > 0:38:10- He's not getting away with it!

0:38:10 > 0:38:12- He's not getting away with it!- - What are you going to do?

0:38:12 > 0:38:15- He'll face up to his responsibility!

0:38:15 > 0:38:16- He'll face up to his responsibility!- - We can get married.

0:38:16 > 0:38:18- You must! Since when...

0:38:18 > 0:38:19- What?

0:38:19 > 0:38:20- What?- - You know!

0:38:21 > 0:38:24- Oh! Not a lot.

0:38:24 > 0:38:28- Good, I'll organize it quickly, - no-one will know.

0:38:28 > 0:38:30- I'm sorry.

0:38:30 > 0:38:34- You're lucky that I can cope with - the situation! Right, George Huws!

0:38:34 > 0:38:36- Where are you going?

0:38:36 > 0:38:39- To let him know the score - and to see his mother!

0:38:39 > 0:38:41- But... he's out, playing snooker!

0:38:41 > 0:38:43- Then his mother can wait!

0:38:44 > 0:38:46- Dad, please don't, he doesn't...

0:38:46 > 0:38:48- ..know!

0:38:48 > 0:38:49- Oh!

0:38:51 > 0:38:56- The crazy Picton had organized - a match between Bryncoch...

0:38:56 > 0:38:57- ..and a team of stars.

0:38:58 > 0:38:59- Stars indeed!

0:38:59 > 0:39:03- Their circumstances were - so bad, I was the only star.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05- One more was supposed to arrive.

0:39:05 > 0:39:09- But he didn't turn up. - Well, not at first, anyway.

0:39:10 > 0:39:15- The only one who had faith - that he would arrive was Wali Tomos.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17- Wali had faith in him.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21- Ref, off!

0:39:38 > 0:39:40- Are they supposed to be famous?

0:39:40 > 0:39:42- Yes, supposed to be.

0:39:43 > 0:39:45- Who are they?

0:39:45 > 0:39:46- It's obvious!

0:39:47 > 0:39:49- Les Dawson.

0:39:49 > 0:39:50- Ian Rush.

0:39:51 > 0:39:53- Ian Botham.

0:39:54 > 0:39:55- That's Mici Plwm.

0:39:55 > 0:39:59- They're nothing like them! - How will people know who they are?

0:40:00 > 0:40:02- I'll introduce them - on the megaphone.

0:40:02 > 0:40:03- Hello!

0:40:03 > 0:40:06- Good god, don't play with that!

0:40:06 > 0:40:09- Don't you dare introduce them.

0:40:09 > 0:40:10- I'll start with Vaughan Hughes.

0:40:10 > 0:40:12- I'll start with Vaughan Hughes.- - He's nothing like Vaughan Hughes.

0:40:12 > 0:40:13- It is him, you berk!

0:40:13 > 0:40:15- It is him, you berk!- - Is it?

0:40:15 > 0:40:17- Mr Hughes, Number 11.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20- Arthur, I'm being serious.

0:40:20 > 0:40:23- If you introduce them - to the crowd...

0:40:23 > 0:40:27- ..I'll tell everyone - the age of the club.

0:40:28 > 0:40:29- Alright, I won't.

0:40:29 > 0:40:30- Mr Picton.

0:40:30 > 0:40:32- Mr Picton.- - Arthur.

0:40:33 > 0:40:34- Arthur.

0:40:34 > 0:40:35- Where are the others?

0:40:35 > 0:40:36- Where are the others?- - Who?

0:40:36 > 0:40:38- The others!

0:40:38 > 0:40:42- I felt you were - famous enough on your own.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44- And Mark Hughes. Has he arrived yet?

0:40:44 > 0:40:47- Someone tell him, before I slap him!

0:40:47 > 0:40:50- Leave it to me. Come here, Wal.

0:40:56 > 0:40:58- What is today, Wal?

0:40:58 > 0:41:00- What is today, Wal?- - Er... Easter?

0:41:00 > 0:41:01- Aye.

0:41:01 > 0:41:03- What happened at Easter?

0:41:03 > 0:41:08- Jesus Christ died for our sins.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12- Aye, well, after that...

0:41:13 > 0:41:18- ..people said they'd talked to Him - and He was coming to see them.

0:41:18 > 0:41:19- Yes.

0:41:19 > 0:41:22- It's the same - with you and Mark Hughes.

0:41:22 > 0:41:27- You said you'd spoken to him - and that he's coming to see you...

0:41:27 > 0:41:29- ..because you want to believe.

0:41:29 > 0:41:31- But he's not really going to come.

0:41:32 > 0:41:36- You know what they call that, - don't you?

0:41:36 > 0:41:37- No.

0:41:45 > 0:41:47- Faith?

0:41:47 > 0:41:48- Aye!

0:41:50 > 0:41:51- Faith.

0:41:53 > 0:41:54- So isn't he coming?

0:41:54 > 0:41:56- So isn't he coming?- - No, Wal.

0:41:56 > 0:41:57- CROWD CHEERS

0:41:59 > 0:42:01- Please welcome the stars' team.

0:42:01 > 0:42:06- And the first out - is Mr Vaughan Hughes!

0:42:07 > 0:42:10- Followed by the rest of the stars.

0:42:11 > 0:42:13- Please welcome them all.

0:42:15 > 0:42:16- Come on, lads.

0:42:21 > 0:42:23- Come on, referee!

0:42:30 > 0:42:31- Wali Tomos?

0:42:31 > 0:42:32- Wali Tomos?- - Yes?

0:42:34 > 0:42:36- Any chance of a game?

0:42:38 > 0:42:40- Mr Picton.

0:42:40 > 0:42:41- Mr Picton!

0:42:41 > 0:42:42- Mr Picton!- - What?

0:42:44 > 0:42:45- Mark Hughes!

0:42:45 > 0:42:47- Well, 'pon my soul!

0:42:51 > 0:42:53- Mark. Away!

0:42:55 > 0:42:57- Ref!

0:42:57 > 0:42:58- Mici Plwm!

0:43:01 > 0:43:03- CHEERS

0:43:20 > 0:43:22- I told you!

0:43:22 > 0:43:25- Yes, Wali. You told us.

0:43:28 > 0:43:30- Lydia Tomos surprised everyone.

0:43:30 > 0:43:34- Occasionally, - she even surprised herself.

0:43:35 > 0:43:37- Wali, pick that up!

0:43:37 > 0:43:39- We're lucky here.

0:43:40 > 0:43:41- Why?

0:43:41 > 0:43:43- Your mother doesn't come here...

0:43:43 > 0:43:45- ..or Jean.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49- Mam, in a boozer!

0:43:52 > 0:43:54- What did you say, Tecwyn?

0:43:56 > 0:43:57- What's that?

0:43:57 > 0:43:59- What's that?- - Non-alco-flipping-holic lager.

0:43:59 > 0:44:01- Oh. Do you like it?

0:44:01 > 0:44:03- Does Rothschild like pomagne?

0:44:04 > 0:44:05- What do you want, Jean?

0:44:05 > 0:44:07- What do you want, Jean?- - Tecwyn will get these. Tecwyn!

0:44:09 > 0:44:10- Yes, Jean?

0:44:10 > 0:44:12- Yes, Jean?- - A drink for the girls.

0:44:12 > 0:44:13- Oh, yes. Sandra?

0:44:13 > 0:44:15- Oh, yes. Sandra?- - Half a pint of lager, please.

0:44:17 > 0:44:20- Can I have a French - kiss with you later?

0:44:22 > 0:44:23- An orange juice, Jean?

0:44:23 > 0:44:26- An orange juice, Jean?- - No, a gin and tonic.

0:44:28 > 0:44:29- Do you like gin?

0:44:29 > 0:44:31- Do you like gin?- - I don't know, I'll see.

0:44:32 > 0:44:33- OK.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35- Where are your manners?

0:44:35 > 0:44:36- Where are your manners?- - Eh?

0:44:37 > 0:44:41- Sorry, Lydia Tomos. - What would you like?

0:44:41 > 0:44:43- What is Walter Tomos drinking?

0:44:43 > 0:44:46- Some black stuff, - from the state of his underpants.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48- Mild...

0:44:48 > 0:44:50- A half of mild too.

0:44:50 > 0:44:51- A half of mild too.- - A pint.

0:44:52 > 0:44:53- A pint.

0:44:56 > 0:45:01- You needn't shave for the dress - rehearsal, unless you want to do so.

0:45:01 > 0:45:03- It's OK, I shave every morning.

0:45:04 > 0:45:05- Your moustache, I meant.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07- Your moustache, I meant.- - What?

0:45:07 > 0:45:09- I'm not shaving off my moustache!

0:45:09 > 0:45:13- You'll have to, I can't have - two Ugly Sisters with a moustache.

0:45:13 > 0:45:15- Why can't he shave it off?

0:45:16 > 0:45:17- He can't.

0:45:17 > 0:45:18- He can't.- - Why?

0:45:18 > 0:45:20- I've got a scar under it.

0:45:20 > 0:45:21- Let me see.

0:45:21 > 0:45:23- Let me see.- - Ouch!

0:45:23 > 0:45:24- I'm not shaving!

0:45:25 > 0:45:27- I'd look too nice!

0:45:27 > 0:45:30- We'll see about that.

0:45:31 > 0:45:32- I'm not!

0:45:32 > 0:45:33- I'm not!- - Ha!

0:45:33 > 0:45:35- I'm not!

0:45:36 > 0:45:37- I'm not!

0:45:37 > 0:45:39- He'll have to shave it off.

0:45:40 > 0:45:42- Please try to persuade him.

0:45:43 > 0:45:44- Cheers!

0:45:45 > 0:45:47- Cheers.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50- Mam! What are you doing?

0:45:50 > 0:45:52- Drinking your filthy beer.

0:45:52 > 0:45:56- To see what makes you - and that scamp Picton so silly.

0:45:56 > 0:45:59- Let's go, you're embarrassing me!

0:46:00 > 0:46:02- I want to finish my pint.

0:46:02 > 0:46:04- It's late, we'd better go.

0:46:04 > 0:46:05- Right-o.

0:46:11 > 0:46:12- Ah!

0:46:16 > 0:46:18- BURPS

0:46:25 > 0:46:26- BURPS

0:46:28 > 0:46:30- Goodnight to you all.

0:46:31 > 0:46:33- Goodnight, Mrs Tomos.

0:46:37 > 0:46:40- LAUGHTER

0:46:42 > 0:46:46- That's it. Thank you for watching. - I hope you enjoyed it.

0:46:46 > 0:46:51- Next time, we'll see the top 20 - scenes from C'mon Midffild.

0:46:51 > 0:46:53- Until then, goodbye.

0:46:53 > 0:46:54- A bit of hush to discuss tictacs.

0:46:57 > 0:46:58- SCREAMS

0:46:59 > 0:47:00- Hallelujah!

0:47:01 > 0:47:02- It fits, Master!

0:47:02 > 0:47:04- It fits, Master!- - Oh... what?

0:47:04 > 0:47:06- Asafoetida!

0:47:09 > 0:47:11- Look what he's done to me!

0:47:12 > 0:47:13- Harri, don't play with that!

0:47:14 > 0:47:15- Bog off!

0:47:15 > 0:47:17- I was looking at her face.

0:47:17 > 0:47:20- She's the spitting image - of Jane Ty Cocyn, long ago.

0:47:29 > 0:47:31- Come on midfield!

0:47:32 > 0:47:34- S4C Subtitles by Gwead

0:47:34 > 0:47:35- .