0:00:00 > 0:00:00- 888
0:00:00 > 0:00:02- Welcome to the programme. I'm Jo.
0:00:02 > 0:00:07- For the next hour, we'll see - C'mon Midffild's best scenes.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09- Tonight, the top twenty.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12- 888
0:00:16 > 0:00:19- We start on a sombre note, - very sad, very sad.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- It's the last scene - of the final series.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- Come on, midfield!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- # And now
0:00:31 > 0:00:33- # The game is up
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- # The ref has blown
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- # The final whistle
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- # My friends
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- # Have all gone
0:00:47 > 0:00:49- # My eyes
0:00:50 > 0:00:52- # Are soaking
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- # I've lived
0:00:57 > 0:00:59- # On the line
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- # And I've kept clear
0:01:03 > 0:01:05- # Of the penalty area
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- # But more, much more than this
0:01:11 > 0:01:16- # I did it my way #
0:01:18 > 0:01:23- Directing the Midffild crowd - was like being a sheepdog...
0:01:24 > 0:01:28- ..trying to get unruly sheep - into the pen.
0:01:28 > 0:01:34- Or like Jean when she tried - to organize the Bryncoch pantomime.
0:01:44 > 0:01:45- Well?
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- Oh, sorry. I wasn't ready.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- She didn't say all of her line.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57- Alright! I'll say it all this time!
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- Never mind, Sandra!
0:02:00 > 0:02:01- Just come in!
0:02:03 > 0:02:04- Off you go.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09- Ah, Cinderella!
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- This is where - you're hiding, you little cow.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- The Ugly Sister crosses the stage - and pulls Cinderella's hair.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- Can you comb my hair, Cinderella?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- Go, Mr Picton.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26- What?!
0:02:26 > 0:02:30- The Ugly Sister crosses the stage - to join Cinderella.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33- No, Wali! Listen.
0:02:34 > 0:02:40- "Crosses the stage and pulls - Cinderella's hair" is in brackets.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43- Correct.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47- That's what you do, - not what you say.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Ah! OK!
0:02:52 > 0:02:53- Did you understand that, Mr Picton?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55- Did you understand that, Mr Picton?- - Of course, idiot!
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- From the same place, Jean?
0:03:00 > 0:03:01- Yes.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03- Ready, Mr Picton?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05- Ready, Mr Picton?- - Yes! Carry on, for goodness sake!
0:03:07 > 0:03:08- The Ugly Sister...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11- HE WHISPERS
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- ..sorry, Sandra, wants you - to comb her hair, Cinderella.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- And the Uglier Sister...
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- ..wants you to clean her toenails - with your teeth, ha ha.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Is this suitable for children, Jean?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- What now?!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Won't it upset the children?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43- You should know. - I'll look at it again.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Tecwyn!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Come in, for God's sake.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58- Excuse me, mistresses, - this letter has arrived.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- WALI GESTURES
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- It's your turn, Tecwyn.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- It's your turn, Tecwyn.- - I know.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- You should know it.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18- And...
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- And...- - As you can see...
0:04:20 > 0:04:21- And as you can see...
0:04:21 > 0:04:22- And as you can see...- - Dear...
0:04:23 > 0:04:24- DOOR OPENS
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- DOOR OPENS- - It's a quarter past ten.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29- Oh, why me?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Don't be shy, Gwil. - Say what's on your mind.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- That was quite good!
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- But as a writer, be honest, - you did steal the odd joke.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Of course! Do you think I'm stupid?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- But in Eira Man, Eira Mawr, - I stole two jokes.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Don't you remember? - One for you and one for me.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51- Oh, yes. He didn't understand them.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52- Oh, yes. He didn't understand them.- - Eh?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- What...?
0:04:55 > 0:04:56- He didn't.
0:04:56 > 0:04:57- He didn't.- - No!
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Come on, midfield!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04- People were storytellers years ago.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08- I'd listen to them for hours, - and they were good.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- I've got a story.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13- I've got a story.- - Wali's got a story. Let's hear it.
0:05:14 > 0:05:15- Well...
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- ..my Uncle Rufus was a builder.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- Rufus is a good name for a builder.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30- Anyway.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- Uncle Rufus wanted to build a wall - with 499 bricks.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- No more and no less.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40- He told the man...
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- "..I want 499 bricks please - to build a wall."
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- The man said - they came in batches of 500.
0:05:49 > 0:05:50- Yes?
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- Uncle Rufus said - he only wanted 499 bricks.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- They started to argue.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01- Anyway...
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- ..in the end, - Uncle Rufus took 500 bricks.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- He was so cross...
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- ..on the way home...
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- ..do you know - what the stupid bugger did?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- No, what?!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- He stopped by the railway bridge.
0:06:29 > 0:06:30- Yes?
0:06:32 > 0:06:36- He threw the brick over the bridge.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41- What happened?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Nothing. He probably went home.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- Is that the story?
0:06:52 > 0:06:56- It's funnier - if you know Uncle Rufus.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03- Alright. I've got a story - about two blokes on a train.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- One had a dog - and the other smoked a pipe.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- The bloke with the dog - turned to the bloke smoking a pipe.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- "You can't smoke here," he said.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18- "Get lost, I'll smoke - wherever I like," he replied.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- "If you smoke that, I'll throw - the pipe through the window."
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- "If you throw my pipe - through the window...
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- "..I'll throw your flippin' dog - through the window."
0:07:31 > 0:07:35- They entered a tunnel and the bloke - threw the pipe out of the window.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- The other one - threw the dog out of the window.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43- They came out of the tunnel - and pulled into the station.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48- What did they see walking along - the platform, but the little dog.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Guess what was in his mouth?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52- A pipe.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- No, Mr Picton. The brick.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- What bloody brick?
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- The one Uncle Rufus threw!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09- That was another story!
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- I know. Good, isn't it?!
0:08:13 > 0:08:15- It works all the time.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22- Life at Llys Orwig - could be hard for George Huws...
0:08:22 > 0:08:26- ..in the company - of his father-in-law, Arthur Picton.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- But the hardship he endured here...
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- ..was as nothing - compared to his traumatic childhood.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38- Asafoetida!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- What's so special about Christmas?
0:08:42 > 0:08:43- Exactly.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47- He sits like a Bryncoch Buddha - expecting to be fed.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Mam and I look after - the turkey and Nain.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- The turkey usually makes more sense.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- You're lucky to have a houseful - to have fun with.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Lucky?! - It's like feeding time at the zoo.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05- An incontinent grandad, Mam nissed - as a pewt on cooking sherry.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- My sisters and sisters-in-law - arguing about boiling a kettle!
0:09:10 > 0:09:14- My three brothers, - who make Albert Schwarzenwotsit...
0:09:14 > 0:09:16- ..look like a dipstick...
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- ..will ravage anything - that looks like food or drink.
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- And ten children, two Alsatians, - three cats and a hysterical budgie.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27- What did I get to eat last year?
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- A slice of turkey - salvaged from an Alsatian...
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- ..and half a roastie - regurgitated by a baby.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35- Bonkers.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- You're an Assembly minister now.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40- Yes. Who would have guessed.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- Yes. Who would have guessed.- - You were a councillor before that.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47- Yes, but no-one had to sit - on a car to elect me.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- No - but I had to.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- C'mon, Bryncoch!
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- I think this is illegal, Mr Picton.
0:10:00 > 0:10:01- I'll take the risk.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- I'll take the risk.- - You'll take a risk?
0:10:03 > 0:10:04- Grab that.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Grab that.- - Why can't I sit inside with you?
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- Because only one side would hear. - Don't make a fuss.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16- We're wasting time while - that hooligan blackens my name.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21- Are you OK?
0:10:21 > 0:10:22- Yes.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24- Champion.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- Can you hear, Wali? - One, two, three. Can you hear me?
0:10:31 > 0:10:32- Yes.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37- This is Arthur Picton, your only - candidate for the community council.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43- This is Arthur Picton, your only - candidate for the community council.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- There's a madman going around - the place in a Water Board van.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- That's the thief, George Huws!
0:10:54 > 0:10:58- Flippin' heck! Michelin man!
0:10:58 > 0:11:04- This is Arthur Picton, your only - candidate for the community council.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09- There's a madman going around - the place in a Water Board van.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- George Huws will hand out - free condoms to Bryncoch girls.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Flippin' heck. - I can see the love bites from here!
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- He's in a Water Board van.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- If you see him, phone the police.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Bloody hell! Move, Wali! - I can't see a thing!
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- Sorry, Mr Picton.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37- Good Lord!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Unbelievable!
0:11:44 > 0:11:44- .
0:11:48 > 0:11:48- 888
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- 888- - 888
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- Welcome back.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Arthur Picton - sometimes went too far.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- Take that time in Italy...
0:12:01 > 0:12:02- C'mon, Bryncoch!
0:12:10 > 0:12:11- Walter?
0:12:13 > 0:12:17- Yes, son. - It was quite a shock to me too.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- I didn't know till he... - your father told me.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- He and Mam were...
0:12:28 > 0:12:29- Yes...
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- ..it's difficult to imagine.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Oh! How can he be, Mr Picton?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- He doesn't speak English or Welsh.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42- Eh?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- No, no, Wali. He knew his stuff.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Well... excuse me...
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- ..I have to clear my...
0:12:56 > 0:13:00- Yes, of course. You go.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16- DOOR OPENS
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- It is you, Madalena?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22- Hello, papa.
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- My precious son! At last!
0:13:45 > 0:13:49- Here on Radio Cymru, Arthur Picton - had his 15 minutes of fame.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Ian Gwyn Hughes interviewed him.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- This is where - he put his two big feet in it.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Offside, ref!
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Do you know Ian Gwyn Hughes?
0:14:06 > 0:14:07- Sorry?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09- Sorry?- - Do you know this Gwyn Hughes bloke?
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- I come face to face - with him some mornings.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14- Are you from Cardiff too?
0:14:14 > 0:14:15- Are you from Cardiff too?- - Yes.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16- What's he like?
0:14:16 > 0:14:17- What's he like?- - Well...
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Ah, yes. That's what I'd heard too.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24- Who is he more like - - Hywel Gwynfryn or Gwilym Owen?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- I'd say a little of both.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- Blimey! He must be in a state!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Sit here and put these on.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35- Thanks.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47- Are you checking the line - to Cardiff?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- Yes, Mr Picton.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- If he goes for the jugular, - can you disconnect the line?
0:14:54 > 0:14:55- He'll be none the wiser.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- Will do, Mr Picton. Hello, Cardiff?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- Hello, Ian. Is Mr Picton there?
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Hello, Ian. Is Mr Picton there?- - Yes. Did you hear that?
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Yes, thanks, Mr Picton.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- Can I have a word with Ian - before we start?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- By all means, Mr Picton. Off you go.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15- How are you today?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17- Fine thanks, Mr Picton.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19- Fine thanks, Mr Picton.- - No, I'm talking to Ian.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Can you be quiet a minute?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24- Hello, Ian.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26- Yes, Mr Picton?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- No!
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- No!- - Ian, Mr Picton.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34- Ian?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- Yes, Mr Picton.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40- Oh.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- Do you remember - when we slept together?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- It was a theatre tour, - but we won't mention that.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52- Dinas Mawddwy - I'll never forget. - No, on C'mon Midffild.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- A lot of male duos - have slept together.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57- Oh, yes. The Two Ronnies.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58- Oh, yes. The Two Ronnies.- - Laurel and Hardy.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Morecambe and Wise.
0:16:01 > 0:16:02- Picton...
0:16:02 > 0:16:03- Picton...- - ..and Wali.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Come on, Bryncoch!
0:16:07 > 0:16:08- Mr Picton?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Mr Picton! Are you asleep?
0:16:12 > 0:16:13- Yes.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16- Oh. I won't disturb you.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- What do you want, Wali?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- I thought perhaps - you were having trouble sleeping.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29- I am.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Are you worried about Sandra - out with George?
0:16:32 > 0:16:33- Be quiet.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35- Don't worry.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37- Tecs is with them.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- Psychologicks - - he knows how to handle people.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45- But there you go, - Tecs is well-read.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- So am I. I used to read - day and night years ago.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- But you didn't go to university.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53- The university of life.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- I came to understand human nature.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57- I came to understand human nature.- - Yes. Good.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59- No.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- I was a big reader once upon a time.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- I read all the classics.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07- Poetry and things?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09- Yes.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Cynan and Shakespeare.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16- Eifion Wyn was the man.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- He was a big poet. A big one.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22- Bigger than you?
0:17:22 > 0:17:23- Bigger than you?- - Yes.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- Well... in certain fields.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- What happened to him?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36- He died, Wali, in the Great War.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- He was the Bard of the Black Chair. - I'm sure you've heard about that.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43- Mahogany?
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- Mahogany?! Birkenhead!
0:17:47 > 0:17:48- Birkenhead?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Birkenhead?- - Yes, Birken-bloomin'-head!
0:17:52 > 0:17:53- By Liverpool?
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- By Liverpool?- - Of course by Liverpool! Where else?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- What did they teach you in school?
0:18:00 > 0:18:01- That's where Jane went.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02- That's where Jane went.- - Who?
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- Jane Ty Cocyn.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- She married a tin-tack salesman - from Birkenhead.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- She was never seen again.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12- His name was Eifion something.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- His name was Eifion something.- - But there's only one Eifion Wyn.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- "The great mountains - will always remain
0:18:21 > 0:18:23- "The wind roars over them."
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- How beautifully said.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- He'd have reached the top - had he lived.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- "See it coming, month of honey
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- "Month of the cuckoo, - month of... money."
0:18:39 > 0:18:44- I understand human nature.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47- Wali.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49- Wali!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- WALI SNORES
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- I came to North Wales in 1977, - but I'm still a Hwntw.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- I was the only South Walian - to work on every C'mon Midffild.
0:19:06 > 0:19:12- It's no surprise that the next clip - involves both Hwntws and Gogs.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- George! George! Go!
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Didn't I say this would happen?
0:19:18 > 0:19:19- Didn't I say this would happen?- - They'll come.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- I bet they can't - get through customs.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24- They're probably lost.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- It's easy to get confused - on that new roundabout.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30- What was that?
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- I've had enough. I'm going.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33- I've had enough. I'm going.- - They're here.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- Have you got your cards?
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Whose crackpot idea was that?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Where's your card, Wal?
0:19:41 > 0:19:43- Where's your card, Wal?- - I haven't got one.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- I've only got this.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- Come in, Ceri.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- Come in, my foot.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- Come in, my foot.- - He's a man.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Shwmai?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55- Shwmai?- - Welcome to Bryncoch.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00- I'm sorry we're late. - It rained all the way up.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- The roads were quite hazardous.
0:20:02 > 0:20:03- The roads were quite hazardous.- - Good.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05- Dad.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09- This is Ieuan Morgan, our manager.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10- This is Ieuan Morgan, our manager.- - Shwmai.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12- Shwmai?!
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- Here's Arthur Picton, our manager.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- Shwmai, Arthur?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- How are you?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Yes, well... we'll settle - the accommodation first.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31- What!?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34- What!?- - Hold your cards up, boys.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- Hold them up!
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- Right, lads! Hurry up!
0:20:45 > 0:20:46- Over there, Julian.
0:20:46 > 0:20:47- Julian?!
0:20:47 > 0:20:48- Julian?!- - George.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Are you Benny?
0:20:51 > 0:20:52- George.
0:20:53 > 0:20:53- What?
0:20:53 > 0:20:54- What?- - You what?!
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- So you're the striker, are you? - Number 9.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01- No, that's his age.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- No, that's his age.- - Speak Welsh, Arthur!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- Same to you, Tecwyn.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- I'm sorry, he's my boy.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11- What did he say?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- What did he say?- - This is his girlfriend.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14- Shwmai.
0:21:14 > 0:21:15- Shwmai.- - Shwmai.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16- What did you say?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- What did you say?- - Sandra, Arthur's girl.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- Who are you calling Arthur?
0:21:20 > 0:21:22- Who are you calling Arthur?- - She's my girl too.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26- Right, has everyone settled?
0:21:27 > 0:21:28- You're with me, Ceri.
0:21:28 > 0:21:29- You're with me, Ceri.- - Thanks, Tecs.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- Excuse me. What about me?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- I forgot about Jo.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38- I forgot about Jo.- - What's wrong?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Jo isn't... a linesman.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- Wali isn't either.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47- Shwmai.
0:21:48 > 0:21:49- Well!
0:21:52 > 0:21:53- This is Jo.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- Wali had loads of jobs, - and this was one of them.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- You're bound to remember this. - Asafoetida!
0:22:06 > 0:22:07- Asafoetida!
0:22:12 > 0:22:14- Oh, blimey!
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- You bloomin' things! - You've got the whole field!
0:22:43 > 0:22:44- Come on, midfield!
0:22:45 > 0:22:45- .
0:22:49 > 0:22:49- 888
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- 888- - 888
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Sorry, I have to go.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- Which reminds me...
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- ..one of the most memorable scenes - happened in one of these.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10- Mr Picton!
0:23:10 > 0:23:11- Go away.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Go away.- - Let me in, Arthur.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14- Please, Mr Picton.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- There's no room! - Go away and switch off the light.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19- Crikey!
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- Wait a minute. I'm coming.
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- There's only me here. - Someone must be pulling your leg.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- There's no-one else here. Look.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- No-one in here, maybe.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Are the toilets through there?
0:23:39 > 0:23:40- Are the toilets through there?- - Yes.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05- Uh!
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Don't move till I come back.
0:24:08 > 0:24:09- OK.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12- Thank you.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23- Has he gone?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- I don't know.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27- Arfur.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30- Arfur.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31- Arfur.- - What?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- I want to go...
0:24:40 > 0:24:41- Arthur.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Shush. What?!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- How are you this evening?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- When I wrote the scripts...
0:24:59 > 0:25:03- ..I'd use my experience - of playing for local teams.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- But I had no experience - of a tribunal...
0:25:06 > 0:25:10- ..when players - went in front of their betters.
0:25:10 > 0:25:15- After hearing about the antics - of Orig Williams and Tarw Nefyn...
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- ..I realized that it was impossible - to go over the top.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23- Come on, Bryncoch!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- Mr Picton?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- I'm sorry, - he's forgotten his glasses.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37- Mr Picton?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Right, Mr Tomos.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Describe the incident you saw.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49- Mr Chairman?
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- Mr Tomos wasn't wearing glasses - during the game either.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- What are you incinerating?
0:25:56 > 0:25:57- What are you incinerating?- - Nothing.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Maybe he can't accurately describe - the incident...
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- ..due to his disability.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Oh, I see. - There's no point listening to him!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Let him have his say.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- Mr Tomos.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- I have difficulty remembering - without my glasses.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- Mr Tomos, tell us what you - can remember without your glasses?
0:26:26 > 0:26:27- Without glasses?
0:26:27 > 0:26:28- Without glasses?- - Yes!
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- Brian tripped George...
0:26:36 > 0:26:40- ..and then he punched him - and jumped on top of him.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42- That's all I remember.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44- Sorry.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50- Mr Tomos. - Can you read the sign on the wall?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55- What wall?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59- Maybe you're right, Mr Taylor.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- Maybe he can't accurately describe - the incident...
0:27:04 > 0:27:06- ..due to his disability.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18- My favourite scene is a camel - coming down this street...
0:27:18 > 0:27:20- ..carrying Tecs and Wali.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23- It stopped in front of my house, - or Picton's house.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- George dreamt that Picton - had turned into Herod...
0:27:27 > 0:27:30- ..and wanted to steal his child.
0:27:30 > 0:27:34- Everybody in the clip - speaks like George. Amazing, aye!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36- Offside, ref!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- A star, aye!
0:27:40 > 0:27:41- A star, aye!- - Oh!
0:27:44 > 0:27:49- Aye. This is King Harrod's house. - This is where the baby is.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57- DOORBELL
0:28:02 > 0:28:04- Aye? What do you want?
0:28:04 > 0:28:06- We've come to see the baby, aye.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08- What baby?
0:28:08 > 0:28:10- What baby?- - The King of June.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- We came on camels to warship him.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17- I'm the King of June and Bryncoch. - There's no baby here.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19- Aye, OK. Come on lads.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21- Aye, OK. Come on lads.- - Hey, if you find a baby...
0:28:21 > 0:28:25- ..give me a tinkle, - and I'll raise him as my own...
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- ..and he can be King after me.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29- OK, King Harrod. Will do.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31- Go!
0:28:31 > 0:28:33- Go!- - Go, Dobbin. Mush!
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- They say that comedy - is a serious business.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44- It was often serious on set, - with a lot of tension in the air.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49- We'd sometimes stop filming - because a cast member was laughing.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53- It's very serious - when the director starts laughing.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58- Who can blame me when you were - in swaddling clothes in a manger?
0:29:00 > 0:29:01- Asafoetida!
0:29:16 > 0:29:17- Oh!
0:29:19 > 0:29:20- Ta, chief.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23- BABY GURGLES
0:29:29 > 0:29:31- Oh!
0:29:31 > 0:29:33- Oh!- - Thanks, Wise Man.
0:29:34 > 0:29:35- BABY GURGLES
0:29:41 > 0:29:42- Oh!
0:29:45 > 0:29:46- Oh!
0:29:49 > 0:29:51- Nice one, Wise Man.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55- BABY GURGLES, KNOCK ON DOOR
0:29:57 > 0:29:59- Oh!
0:30:00 > 0:30:03- King Harrod!
0:30:03 > 0:30:05- Oh!
0:30:09 > 0:30:10- BABY GURGLES
0:30:10 > 0:30:12- BABY GURGLES- - Flippin' heck.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15- Aye, aye. - This is the King of June.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20- I'm taking him home to raise him - as my own son. Come on, Sand.
0:30:20 > 0:30:21- Aye, OK, Dad.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23- I'm his father!
0:30:23 > 0:30:25- I'm his father!- - You didn't do anything.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30- His conception was immaculate. - Dad and I will bring him up.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32- Too true, pal. Come along, Sand.
0:30:33 > 0:30:34- Stop him!
0:30:35 > 0:30:37- Stop him, stop him!
0:30:38 > 0:30:42- Fat chance, George. - You didn't help us, pillock.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46- It wasn't immaculate! I made him!
0:30:49 > 0:30:53- I had the honour of working - on every programme of every series.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56- Like many of you, - my favourite scene...
0:30:57 > 0:31:00- ..is Wali Tomos - arriving late for the wedding.
0:31:02 > 0:31:03- Come on, midfield!
0:31:07 > 0:31:09- Just in time.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14- Congratulations!
0:31:21 > 0:31:23- Come on, midfield!
0:31:23 > 0:31:23- .
0:31:27 > 0:31:27- 888
0:31:27 > 0:31:29- 888- - 888
0:31:31 > 0:31:36- Christmas wouldn't be Christmas - without C'mon Midffild.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- I wouldn't like Arthur Picton - to be Santa, mind.
0:31:40 > 0:31:41- Why not?
0:31:45 > 0:31:47- Oh. You're going to be Santa Claus?
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- No, I'm going to a funeral.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53- Who else could be Santa Claus?
0:31:54 > 0:31:55- Me?
0:31:56 > 0:31:58- What do you know about children?
0:31:58 > 0:31:59- What do you know about children?- - I used to be one.
0:32:00 > 0:32:00- Idiot.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02- Idiot.- - He'd be better than you.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06- You can't even grant your daughter - a Christmas wish.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09- That's different! - What do you want, Wali?
0:32:10 > 0:32:14- Are you coming carol-singing - and do you want a raffle ticket?
0:32:14 > 0:32:15- No.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17- No to which one?
0:32:17 > 0:32:19- No to which one?- - Both. Waste of time.
0:32:20 > 0:32:21- We need money not charity.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24- Is that how you'll talk to the kids?
0:32:24 > 0:32:25- Is that how you'll talk to the kids?- - No!
0:32:25 > 0:32:27- You're too angry to be Santa.
0:32:27 > 0:32:28- You're too angry to be Santa.- - I'm not angry.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31- And you shout all the time.
0:32:31 > 0:32:32- I don't shout!
0:32:32 > 0:32:33- I don't shout!- - You do.
0:32:34 > 0:32:39- Bloody hell, I don't! I only shout - at you! I'll be OK with the kids!
0:32:43 > 0:32:45- Show me what you're going to do.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47- Show me what you're going to do.- - I can't without children.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50- Wali, you'll do.
0:32:50 > 0:32:51- What?!
0:32:51 > 0:32:52- What?!- - Me?
0:32:52 > 0:32:53- Don't be silly.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55- Don't be silly.- - You're too angry to do it.
0:32:56 > 0:32:56- OK, Sandra.
0:32:56 > 0:32:57- OK, Sandra.- - Wali!
0:33:04 > 0:33:05- What's your name?
0:33:07 > 0:33:10- Not like that! Put him on your lap!
0:33:10 > 0:33:11- Don't...
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- Don't...- - I won't alter the costume.
0:33:14 > 0:33:15- Come on.
0:33:26 > 0:33:27- Right.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33- What's your name?
0:33:34 > 0:33:35- Wali, Santa.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38- How old are you, Wali?
0:33:38 > 0:33:40- Forty-three, Santa.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- What do you want - for Christmas, Wali?
0:33:43 > 0:33:46- Don't you know? - I wrote to you three weeks ago.
0:33:46 > 0:33:48- Don't, there's a good boy.
0:33:49 > 0:33:53- I get a lot of letters. - I tend to forget.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55- Give me a clue.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57- Don't!
0:33:59 > 0:34:03- Well, it has a tail - and you can sit on it.
0:34:04 > 0:34:05- A horse.
0:34:05 > 0:34:06- A horse.- - No.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11- It has wheels, a chain and ears.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13- Wheels and ears?
0:34:13 > 0:34:14- You don't know, do you?
0:34:14 > 0:34:17- You don't know, do you?- - Give me a chance to think. Don't!
0:34:18 > 0:34:22- You're not the real Santa. - The real Santa would know!
0:34:22 > 0:34:24- Alright, then! What is it?
0:34:24 > 0:34:25- Alright, then! What is it?- - A bike.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29- A bike with ears and a tail?
0:34:29 > 0:34:31- Oh, I lied about those.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34- Oh, I lied about those.- - Good Lord!
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- Santa Claus pinched me.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38- Santa Claus pinched me.- - Now look what you've done!
0:34:39 > 0:34:39- He started it.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41- He started it.- - What kind of Santa are you?!
0:34:42 > 0:34:43- Not the real Santa Claus.
0:34:43 > 0:34:44- Not the real Santa Claus.- - Yes, I am.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46- The real Santa would give me money!
0:34:46 > 0:34:48- The real Santa would give me money!- - You've upset the little boy.
0:34:49 > 0:34:50- I want money from Santa for sweets.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- I want money from Santa for sweets.- - You're an evil Santa Claus.
0:34:53 > 0:34:54- Good Lord!
0:34:55 > 0:34:57- Take it, baby!
0:34:57 > 0:34:58- Take it, baby!- - Oh, thank you, Mr Picton.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- What am I doing?
0:35:03 > 0:35:05- Mr Picton! Your name, look!
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- Wali! Give me my money back, idiot!
0:35:09 > 0:35:13- C'mon Midffild is a comedy - and it's silly to over-analyse.
0:35:13 > 0:35:17- But there are remarkable layers - to the characters.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21- Who'd imagine that George Huws - of all people was a theologian?
0:35:22 > 0:35:24- When Wali's mother died...
0:35:24 > 0:35:29- ..who provided spiritual comfort - for Wali? George.
0:35:29 > 0:35:34- Given the chance, George Huws - would be like Dr R Tudur Jones.
0:35:37 > 0:35:38- Asafoetida!
0:35:43 > 0:35:45- Poor Mam.
0:35:48 > 0:35:49- I wonder where she is now?
0:35:49 > 0:35:51- I wonder where she is now?- - I know where she is.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- Do you?
0:35:55 > 0:35:56- Aye.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58- Up there.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02- In heaven with the angels.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06- Do you think so?
0:36:06 > 0:36:11- In this world, there are good people - and bad people.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- It's not easy - to tell the difference between them.
0:36:16 > 0:36:21- When they kick the bucket, and go - to the sorting office in the sky...
0:36:22 > 0:36:26- ..He separates the good - from the bad.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32- He can see inside people.
0:36:34 > 0:36:35- I'll tell you this much...
0:36:36 > 0:36:39- ..a lot of chapelgoers - have had one hell of a shock.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43- They expect - the "Beam me up, Jesus"...
0:36:44 > 0:36:46- ..and the next minute...
0:36:46 > 0:36:50- ..a trapdoor opens and whoosh, - down they go to hell.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56- But He looked inside your mother...
0:36:57 > 0:37:00- ..and saw that she's good people.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05- And he sent her - on the first cloud to heaven.
0:37:10 > 0:37:11- Oh, if you say so, George.
0:37:12 > 0:37:13- Aye.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- And that's where she is now, - looking down on you.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21- And do you know what she's doing?
0:37:21 > 0:37:22- No, what?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- She's smiling because she's happy.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32- Happier than she was down here.
0:37:32 > 0:37:33- Happier than she was down here.- - Aye.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34- Because she isn't with me.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- Because she isn't with me.- - Aye... no, Wal.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43- Because she's with you now.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47- Is she?
0:37:47 > 0:37:48- Is she?- - Yes.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51- And she'll be with you forever...
0:37:52 > 0:37:54- ..and ever, Amen.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- But she was in heaven a minute ago. - She can't be in two places at once.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05- She can.
0:38:06 > 0:38:11- Because she's a sole now.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16- Sole? Isn't that a type of fish?
0:38:18 > 0:38:22- No... a soul!
0:38:24 > 0:38:28- Heaven is like a big aeroplane - that takes her everywhere.
0:38:29 > 0:38:30- Blimey!
0:38:33 > 0:38:38- I was arrested in 1990 - for suspected holiday cottage arson.
0:38:38 > 0:38:39- And me.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41- And me.- - I didn't know you had been arrested.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- I was in Dolgellau - and you were in Colwyn Bay.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48- I came in front of Sergeant Picton, - of all people.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- What was the evidence against you?
0:38:51 > 0:38:53- What was the evidence against you?- - A battery and a watch strap.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55- At least I got an episode out of it.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57- At least I got an episode out of it.- - Yes, Meibion Bryncoch.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00- Here's a clip from the episode.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03- Offside, ref!
0:39:04 > 0:39:05- Mr Picton.
0:39:06 > 0:39:07- What?
0:39:09 > 0:39:11- Are you still there?
0:39:13 > 0:39:15- No. I'm on holiday in Spain.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24- # When I was
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- # In a dark
0:39:27 > 0:39:29- # And lonely cell #
0:39:29 > 0:39:33- Thanks very much. - Just what I wanted to cheer me up!
0:39:33 > 0:39:35- Oh, yes. Sorry.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39- Ah! Mr Picton! I've just remembered.
0:39:40 > 0:39:41- What?
0:39:41 > 0:39:45- # Happy birthday to you!
0:39:45 > 0:39:47- # Happy birthday
0:39:47 > 0:39:48- # To you! #
0:39:49 > 0:39:51- How the hell - can it be a happy birthday?
0:39:52 > 0:39:53- Oh, yes.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56- Good job you celebrated yesterday.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58- Good job you celebrated yesterday.- - Wasn't it just?
0:39:59 > 0:40:01- How's the claustrophobia?
0:40:02 > 0:40:05- I'd forgotten about it - until you mentioned it.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08- That's the best thing to do.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11- Let's play a game. That'll help.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- Yes. We'll have a round of golf.
0:40:14 > 0:40:18- No! You need balls and clubs.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23- What about I spy?
0:40:24 > 0:40:28- How can we play I spy - with you there and me here?
0:40:28 > 0:40:31- The cells are similar enough.
0:40:31 > 0:40:32- OK.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36- But I'm starting.
0:40:37 > 0:40:38- Alright.
0:40:41 > 0:40:46- I spy with my little eye...
0:40:46 > 0:40:49- ..something beginning with...
0:40:54 > 0:40:55- ..C.
0:40:56 > 0:40:57- C.
0:40:58 > 0:40:59- Mmm.
0:41:00 > 0:41:01- Cup.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04- How can you see a cup from there?
0:41:05 > 0:41:06- Was I right?
0:41:06 > 0:41:07- Was I right?- - Yes.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09- My turn.
0:41:11 > 0:41:15- I spy with my little eye...
0:41:16 > 0:41:20- ..something beginning with...
0:41:21 > 0:41:22- ..F.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28- Floor.
0:41:29 > 0:41:30- No.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35- Forearm.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- No.
0:41:42 > 0:41:43- Fingers.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44- Fingers?
0:41:44 > 0:41:45- Fingers?- - Yes.
0:41:45 > 0:41:46- No.
0:41:46 > 0:41:47- No.- - Fist?
0:41:48 > 0:41:49- No.
0:41:50 > 0:41:51- Frog?
0:41:52 > 0:41:54- No!
0:41:55 > 0:41:57- Forget it.
0:41:57 > 0:41:58- Forget it.- - No.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01- Give up?
0:42:02 > 0:42:04- Yes. What is it?
0:42:04 > 0:42:05- Four insects.
0:42:07 > 0:42:08- Asafoetida!
0:42:13 > 0:42:16- Looking back on the series...
0:42:16 > 0:42:20- ..I asked myself - what I'd learnt from it all.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- Well, the simple things - always work best.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29- Come on, Bryncoch!
0:42:29 > 0:42:33- WALI SINGS SILENT NIGHT
0:42:39 > 0:42:42- Wali. How long have you been there?
0:42:42 > 0:42:44- Four verses of Silent Night.
0:42:44 > 0:42:49- But I only know the first verse, - so I've been de-deeing for three.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53- Why didn't you sing - the first verse four times?
0:42:53 > 0:42:55- What for?
0:42:55 > 0:42:58- Yes, you're right. - What for? Come in.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00- Thank you.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06- Why didn't you sing another carol?
0:43:06 > 0:43:08- Why didn't you sing another carol?- - I only know that one.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11- What if someone asks - for another carol?
0:43:11 > 0:43:13- Easy. No-one asks.
0:43:13 > 0:43:18- They're more interested in why - I'm de-deeing for three verses...
0:43:18 > 0:43:21- ..rather than sing - the first verse four times.
0:43:22 > 0:43:26- They look surprised, - give me money and close the door...
0:43:26 > 0:43:29- ..apart from Arthur, - who just closed the door.
0:43:30 > 0:43:31- Jean.
0:43:32 > 0:43:33- Jean!
0:43:33 > 0:43:37- Come here a minute. - From the second verse on, Wali.
0:43:37 > 0:43:38- OK.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47- # De-de-de-de
0:43:48 > 0:43:51- # De-de-de-de
0:43:52 > 0:43:55- # De-de-de
0:43:56 > 0:43:58- # De-de-de
0:44:00 > 0:44:02- # De-de-de-de-de
0:44:03 > 0:44:05- # De-de-de-de
0:44:07 > 0:44:10- # De-de-de-de-de
0:44:11 > 0:44:13- # De-de-de-de
0:44:15 > 0:44:20- # De-de-de-de-de-de
0:44:21 > 0:44:22- # De
0:44:23 > 0:44:27- # De-de-de-de-de-de
0:44:28 > 0:44:29- # De #
0:44:29 > 0:44:31- Well done, Wali.
0:44:32 > 0:44:36- Well, we've almost finished. - Thanks for watching.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40- What's number one? - Do I have to tell you?
0:44:40 > 0:44:43- From Bryncoch's sad-looking field...
0:44:43 > 0:44:44- ..goodbye!
0:44:47 > 0:44:49- Come on, midfield!
0:44:51 > 0:44:53- Right, come on.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58- Where did they come from? - I've never seen them before.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03- Are you saying they've been - in the toilet since eleven?
0:45:03 > 0:45:05- If so, it'll be a serious case.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07- If so, it'll be a serious case.- - What are you incinerating?
0:45:08 > 0:45:09- Names - you.
0:45:09 > 0:45:11- Tecwyn Parri.
0:45:14 > 0:45:15- Address.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18- 4 Maes Tirion, Bryncoch.
0:45:26 > 0:45:27- Next.
0:45:27 > 0:45:28- Next.- - Arthur.
0:45:31 > 0:45:32- Surname?
0:45:32 > 0:45:34- Surname?- - Bell.
0:45:35 > 0:45:36- Brynglas.
0:45:39 > 0:45:41- Colwyn Bay.
0:45:52 > 0:45:53- You.
0:45:53 > 0:45:54- You.- - Walker.
0:45:58 > 0:45:59- John Walker.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02- 5 George Street, Holyhead.
0:46:15 > 0:46:16- Yes?
0:46:20 > 0:46:21- Glyn.
0:46:24 > 0:46:25- Surname?
0:46:26 > 0:46:27- Fiddich.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34- Glyn Fiddich? Are you sure?
0:46:35 > 0:46:38- Yes! Ask Mr Picton!
0:46:40 > 0:46:41- Ho ho!
0:46:41 > 0:46:44- Ho ho!- - Ho ho to you! Sod off!
0:46:51 > 0:46:55- A large rum for me - and a small whisky for the others.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57- Where did they come from?
0:46:58 > 0:47:02- Crisis! That bugger George - is out of his skull!
0:47:02 > 0:47:05- God knows - how he'll play football today!
0:47:05 > 0:47:06- Wali!
0:47:11 > 0:47:13- Out of the way!
0:47:14 > 0:47:15- Idiot!
0:47:17 > 0:47:20- You put your feet in there?! Pig!
0:47:20 > 0:47:22- There was no room for me.
0:47:22 > 0:47:25- There was no room for me.- - We'll find somewhere here.
0:47:25 > 0:47:29- Hurry, George. The flippin' - donkey's beginning to disturb me!
0:47:30 > 0:47:33- Someone's shooting at us, Mr Picton.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36- Asafoetida! Get down! - Close the window, Wali!
0:47:46 > 0:47:48- Come on, midfield!
0:47:49 > 0:47:51- S4C Subtitles by GWEAD
0:47:51 > 0:47:52- .