0:00:02 > 0:00:03This is Mike Peabody for HHTV News.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06I've reported from some of the worst war zones in history,
0:00:06 > 0:00:10but today has to be one of THE most terrifying of my life.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Yes, I'm at the red carpet at the Royal Albert Hall
0:00:14 > 0:00:16for the Horrible Histories Prom.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18We've got Vikings, we've got plague victims,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21we've got Cleopatra and Henry VIII, all under the same roof.
0:00:21 > 0:00:23It's going to be absolute carnage.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26And I think I can see... Yes, it's Charles II.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29- Your Majesty, may we have a quick word?- Ah, yes, of course.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31How's it going? Where's the party at?
0:00:31 > 0:00:34I think it's going to be more of a concert than a party.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Trust me, wherever I am, there's a party!
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Ooh, there's Queen Victoria, she's a fox -
0:00:39 > 0:00:42and single since the death of her husband.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Single, yes, but permanently in mourning.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Whatever you do, do not mention Albert.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49(Very good, yes.)
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Your Majesty.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Your Majesty, welcome to the Royal Albert Hall.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Albert?! - SHE SOBS
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Albert!
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Good one, Mike. I was in there.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Well, it looks like the show is about to start,
0:01:06 > 0:01:10so I have to take my seat for what promises to be absolute chaos.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Oh, I can't believe I'm late!
0:01:16 > 0:01:19It's very hard to get a taxi when you're a rat.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21I'm going to have to do this old-school.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25TOILET FLUSHES
0:01:25 > 0:01:27WOMAN SCREAMS
0:01:29 > 0:01:32You'd think she's never seen a rat come out of a toilet before!
0:01:32 > 0:01:34HE LAUGHS Ooh!
0:01:34 > 0:01:38Ooh, I can hear Also Sprach Zarathustra by Strauss.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40The show must be starting.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Oh, the show must be starting!
0:01:42 > 0:01:46MUSIC: "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Strauss
0:02:14 > 0:02:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:22 > 0:02:24# Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians Woeful wars, ferocious fights
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# Dingy castles, daring knights
0:02:29 > 0:02:33# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
0:02:33 > 0:02:36# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishment from ancient times
0:02:36 > 0:02:38# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless
0:02:38 > 0:02:39# Cavemen, savage fierce and toothless
0:02:39 > 0:02:44# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# Gory stories, we do that
0:02:46 > 0:02:49# And your host's a talking rat
0:02:49 > 0:02:53# The past is no longer a mystery
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# Welcome to...
0:02:55 > 0:03:02# Horrible Histories. #
0:03:02 > 0:03:04APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Hello, and welcome to HHTV News. The headlines today...
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Thousands gather at the Royal Albert Hall
0:03:14 > 0:03:16for a special Horrible Histories Prom.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20Henry VIII and Charles II arrive
0:03:20 > 0:03:23for this unusual Royal Variety Performance,
0:03:23 > 0:03:26in which a variety of royals will perform.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31King Ethelred The Unready totally forgets what day the concert's on.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33WAH-WAH-WAH!
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Our lead story is the special concert
0:03:36 > 0:03:40in which the Aurora Orchestra and their conducted Nick Collon
0:03:40 > 0:03:43are ready to guide us through the best bits of the history of music.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46But first, the origins of the orchestra
0:03:46 > 0:03:50involve a tuneful tale full of twists and turns.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54So here with a summary is Bob Hale, with the Orchestra Report. Bob.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Thank you! Thank you so much!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00No, no, no. Come on now, come on now. Enough, enough!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03Thank you, sir, and thank you ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Well, behind me, I am reliably informed, is an orchestra.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11Yep, there they are. A big group of people all playing music together.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12But where did they come from?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Some came from as far away as Guildford.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Hello, Simon! TOOT, TOOT!
0:04:16 > 0:04:19But the concept of an orchestra comes form even further away.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22In fact, it existed as far back as Ancient Greece -
0:04:22 > 0:04:26home, unsurprisingly, of the Ancient Greeks,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28who came up not only with the word "orchestra",
0:04:28 > 0:04:32but with the first musical scales... HE PLAYS A SCALE
0:04:32 > 0:04:34AND some instruments to play them on.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36Things like the pan pipes...
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Percussion...
0:04:38 > 0:04:41And something called a lyre...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43though it looks pretty trustworthy to me! BA-DOOM-CHING!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46And just when we have something approaching an orchestra,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48along come the Dark Ages,
0:04:48 > 0:04:51the Church bans instruments and that's the end of that.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52But not for long! LAUGHTER
0:04:52 > 0:04:55In the Medieval Era, groups make a comeback,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59this time with ridiculously-named instruments, such as the serpent...
0:04:59 > 0:05:00the racket...
0:05:02 > 0:05:04LAUGHTER
0:05:04 > 0:05:07the crumhorn...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09and the sackbut.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Ha-ha, you just blew down a sackbut!
0:05:15 > 0:05:17LAUGHTER
0:05:17 > 0:05:21And if you play them all together, they sound like this...
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Absolutely awful.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Which is probably why modern orchestras don't use them.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30But they do use this - written music.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Which, thanks to the invention of the printing press,
0:05:33 > 0:05:36during the Renaissance, can now be shared around.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37There you go.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Meaning we can all now "get down" to the same "banging tunes".
0:05:40 > 0:05:43THE ORCHESTRA PLAYS
0:05:43 > 0:05:46And as dance music's popularity grows, so does the orchestra,
0:05:46 > 0:05:47as they add a trumpet.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Oh, there it is! And a tambourine.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53TAMBOURINE PLAYS
0:05:53 > 0:05:56And a big bag of woodwind.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01PFFFFRT!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Sorry, part of that was me. Shouldn't have had the Bolognese...
0:06:04 > 0:06:08In fact, by the time we enter the so-called Baroque period,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10some orchestras have as many as 30 people in -
0:06:10 > 0:06:11now including drums.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Don't do that!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Then as the Baroque period merges into the classical one,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20having your own personal composer becomes the "in" thing.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24All the best composers are hired by the kings and queens of Europe,
0:06:24 > 0:06:27meaning if you don't want to work for the royals,
0:06:27 > 0:06:31you're basically stuck between Baroque and a hard place! BA-DOOM-CHING!
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Little joke there. Nice one, Bobsy.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36And talking of little, along comes Mozart,
0:06:36 > 0:06:39who starts writing music at just two years old,
0:06:39 > 0:06:42proving he's a complete genius and a horrible show-off.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Then he grows up, writes 1,000 tunes, discovers the clarinet...
0:06:47 > 0:06:48and then dies.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53Killed by rival composer Salieri in a jealous rage.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56DUN-DUN-DUN!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Or possibly not, no-one really knows.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02But we do know that while Mozart made a big noise in the music world,
0:07:02 > 0:07:03it wasn't as big a noise as Beethoven.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Who, partly because he's deaf,
0:07:08 > 0:07:10makes the orchestra bigger and louder than before.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Which means, as we enter the Romantic period,
0:07:13 > 0:07:16some orchestras have swollen to a whopping 100 pieces,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18which is so big and unwieldy - no offence -
0:07:18 > 0:07:21that they need someone to keep them all in time. So conductors appear -
0:07:21 > 0:07:23hello - and in no time at all,
0:07:23 > 0:07:27becomes bigger and more famous than the orchestra themselves.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29TA-DA!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31APPLAUSE
0:07:31 > 0:07:34All right, mate.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37With everything getting bigger, including somebody's ego,
0:07:37 > 0:07:39the venues have to get bigger too.
0:07:39 > 0:07:44So it's goodbye to royal palaces and hello to enormous new concert halls.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48And in these huge halls, modern music goes absolutely crazy!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to go crazy.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55As, for my big finale, I present my favourite modern musical masterpiece,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57played with aplomb for you, and you only,
0:07:57 > 0:07:59by the one, the only,
0:07:59 > 0:08:03time-straddling, foot-pumping, heart-pumping, hit-making orchestra
0:08:03 > 0:08:04Take it away, guys!
0:08:04 > 0:08:09APPLAUSE
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Ah-ah-ah, Bob!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Bob! Bob, Bob...
0:08:12 > 0:08:13I can't hear anything.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Of course you can't.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18This is John Cage's classic Four Minutes And 33 Seconds -
0:08:18 > 0:08:23- four and a half minutes of absolute silence.- And you enjoy that?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Wait, this is the best bit!
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Aw, so good.
0:08:27 > 0:08:32Thank you, boys, thank you for listening. And back to you, Sam!
0:08:32 > 0:08:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:08:33 > 0:08:38So, it seems that the orchestra as we know it,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41began life in Medieval times,
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- which is around the same time as Bob.- I heard that!
0:08:44 > 0:08:45And you were meant to.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- LAUGHTER - Coming up next in HHTV News,
0:08:48 > 0:08:52we go over to the Medieval era for.. Oh, no, wait...
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I have some breaking news.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57It seems I'm being told I'm not allowed to start yet,
0:08:57 > 0:09:01because some Georgian kings want to be allowed to sing first.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03So, I will hand you over now, live,
0:09:03 > 0:09:07to Kings George, George, George and George,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09for the story of The Four Georges.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:31 > 0:09:34# I took the throne of England
0:09:34 > 0:09:37# Just cos I was Protestant
0:09:37 > 0:09:40# German prince Whose English stank
0:09:40 > 0:09:42# King George Number One
0:09:42 > 0:09:45# I like to argue Now that's clear
0:09:45 > 0:09:48# Especially with my father here
0:09:48 > 0:09:50# Before I died of diarrhoea
0:09:50 > 0:09:54# I fought with my son
0:09:54 > 0:09:58# I broke records With my 60-year reign
0:09:58 > 0:10:03# And I broke the scales With my giant frame
0:10:04 > 0:10:10# Born to rule over you
0:10:10 > 0:10:15- # King George #- Four,- Three,- One- and Two
0:10:15 > 0:10:18# You had to do
0:10:18 > 0:10:21# What we told you to
0:10:21 > 0:10:26# Just because our blood was blue
0:10:31 > 0:10:34# I was the hunk Girls adored me
0:10:34 > 0:10:36# Ladies all swooned before me
0:10:36 > 0:10:39# They would do anything for me
0:10:39 > 0:10:42# Or I'd have their husbands killed
0:10:42 > 0:10:45# Had a war with Prince Charles Bonnie
0:10:45 > 0:10:47# Everyone said that I was f-f-funny
0:10:47 > 0:10:50# I spent everyone's money
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# Our subjects were not thrilled
0:10:53 > 0:10:56# I was the sad one
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# And I was the bad one
0:10:58 > 0:11:01# I was the mad one
0:11:01 > 0:11:03# And I was the fat one
0:11:03 > 0:11:09# We were born to rule over you
0:11:09 > 0:11:15- # Georges One,- Three,- Four- and Two
0:11:15 > 0:11:21# England's Kings Though we were German too
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- #- Him,- then him,- then me
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- #- Then you #- We were born
0:11:28 > 0:11:33- # Born to rule over you #- All over you!
0:11:33 > 0:11:38- #- Gorged on fruit Then I died on the loo
0:11:38 > 0:11:43# People hated us And we hated them too
0:11:43 > 0:11:48# Born to rule over you
0:11:48 > 0:11:53# Born to rule over you
0:11:53 > 0:11:58- #- Me, I was as batty as a bonkers kangaroo
0:11:58 > 0:12:04- #- Me, I would have been more at home in a zoo
0:12:04 > 0:12:06# And now
0:12:06 > 0:12:12# Our song is through
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- #- Yeah-eah-eah.- #
0:12:14 > 0:12:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:24 > 0:12:28Can't believe I have to share a dressing room with my dad.
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Must you leave your pants lying around?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36They're yours. Look at the size of them!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- You're much bigger than me. - Right, I am bigger than you.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Don't you forget it. That's why I have a solo and you don't.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- What time am I on, Pops? - Oh, not for ages.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48First, we have music to represent the Middle Ages,
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Danse Macabre by Saint-Saens. It's all about death
0:12:52 > 0:12:55and features skeletons being brought to life by a fiddler.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Well, this is a rare treat -
0:12:56 > 0:13:00us having an actual conversation, rather than you just being mad.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04It's being played by an orchestra of lemons and chickens.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06HE IMPERSONATES A CHICKEN
0:13:06 > 0:13:07And he's back.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14MUSIC: "Danse Macabre" By Camille Saint-Saens
0:14:48 > 0:14:50APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:14:50 > 0:14:51SHE SOBS
0:14:51 > 0:14:55I thought this concert was supposed to cheer me up, Fortescue.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59They're playing music about death. I miss Albert!
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I think I need more comfort food.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- What happened to the popcorn, Ma'am? - Oh, it's finished.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10You should have bought me a large tub instead of this tiny one.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- It did take two of us to carry it, Ma'am.- Hmm...
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Right, what's next?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Oh, Richard III.
0:15:18 > 0:15:24He only reigned from 1483 to 1485, that's two years.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- I- reigned for 63.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29He shouldn't even be able to call himself a king
0:15:29 > 0:15:31if he only reigned for two years.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34He should be called a... A kin. Or a ki.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36As you say, Ma'am.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Let's see what "Ki" Richard has to say for himself.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43You know, I've heard he's a nasty piece of work.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48Honestly, some people just seem to have the wrong idea about me.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52They all seem to think I'm this vicious, murdering hunchback.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- ON THE VERGE OF TEARS: - It's about time I set them straight.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00# I was sure that you'd love me
0:16:00 > 0:16:03# To that hope I did cling
0:16:03 > 0:16:06# Cos I'm Richard the Third
0:16:06 > 0:16:09# And everybody loves a king Don't they?
0:16:09 > 0:16:13# Thought I did a good job Why do you disagree?
0:16:13 > 0:16:16# There's a lot of people spreading nasty rumours 'bout me
0:16:16 > 0:16:19# Every word is a lie So I'm singing this song
0:16:19 > 0:16:22# Cos the history books Have been telling it wrong!
0:16:22 > 0:16:25# Never had a limp Always walked my full height
0:16:25 > 0:16:28# Never had a hump And my arm was all right
0:16:28 > 0:16:31# Never took the crown with illegal power
0:16:31 > 0:16:34# Never killed my nephews The princes in the tower
0:16:34 > 0:16:38# Tudor propaganda It's all absurd
0:16:40 > 0:16:44# Time to tell the truth About King Richard the Third
0:16:44 > 0:16:45OK?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49# My brother Edward died
0:16:49 > 0:16:53# His kids too young to rule
0:16:53 > 0:16:55# So I took the throne
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Excuse me.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58# Why not? I'm nobody's fool
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Hi, nice to meet you.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02# Thomas Moore wrote a history Said I murdered Edward's boys
0:17:02 > 0:17:05# Shakespeare says their death was an evil ploy
0:17:05 > 0:17:08# But I say those two are historical vandals
0:17:08 > 0:17:11# They've ruined my image I mean, what a scandal!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14# Never bumped off those harmless young heirs
0:17:14 > 0:17:17# Never buried them under the Tower Of London stairs
0:17:17 > 0:17:20# Never poisoned my wife Bumped off my daddy
0:17:20 > 0:17:23# This is me, sweet Richard Do I look like a baddie, love?
0:17:23 > 0:17:29# Never was two-faced Sure you'll agree
0:17:29 > 0:17:33# I was misunderstood King Richard Three
0:17:36 > 0:17:39# Can you imagine it I'm the last Plantagenet
0:17:39 > 0:17:42# Beaten by Henry in the Wars Of The Roses
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# The Tudor dynasty didn't care that much for me
0:17:45 > 0:17:48# Now I'm painted as a baddie That's why one supposes
0:17:48 > 0:17:51# Never forget When you hear of my crimes
0:17:51 > 0:17:54# Never drowned my brother in a massive vat of wine
0:17:54 > 0:17:57# Never said "A horse, my kingdom for a horse"
0:17:57 > 0:18:00# Who made that up? Why, William Shakespeare of course!
0:18:00 > 0:18:05# Now my tale is told You won't hear a bad word
0:18:05 > 0:18:11# About a special ruler King Richard the Third. #
0:18:11 > 0:18:13I'm a nice guy.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Yeah, so maybe that's more, like, "true"
0:18:22 > 0:18:24and "factually accurate",
0:18:24 > 0:18:27but my version of Richard III was far more entertaining.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31I mean, I never let facts get in the way of a good story.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Still, I might hide here until he's gone.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38What's next?
0:18:38 > 0:18:42Oh, a bit from the ballet of Romeo And Juliet,
0:18:42 > 0:18:43another one of mine -
0:18:43 > 0:18:45with some music by Prokofiev -
0:18:45 > 0:18:46but mainly me.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50I think you'll find all the best bits of this concert are moi.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Oh, this is the bit where Romeo takes on Tybalt,
0:18:53 > 0:18:55revenging the death of his best friend.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57It's brilliant!
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Quite brilliant.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Romeo And Juliet, by me.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03And I'm missing it!
0:19:06 > 0:19:10MUSIC: "Romeo Decides To Avenge Mercutio's Death" By Prokofiev
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Watch out, Romeo!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Ah, it's no good. I can't look!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Cats may have nine lives, but us rats only have one.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24It's the wrong way round, if you ask me.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Now, did you know, when Prokofiev first presented this music
0:20:28 > 0:20:30to the Bolshoi Ballet Company in 1935,
0:20:30 > 0:20:33they said it was undanceable.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Well, I beg to differ.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Ooh, fighting's over.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Your Majesty, may I present Mr Neil Short,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09purveyor of theatrical snacks.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Ah!
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- Your Majesty, may I say what an honour and a priv...- Yes, yes.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17I want popcorn, chocolates and a tub of raspberry ripple ice cream.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20Ah. I'm afraid we're only selling historical snacks today, Ma'am,
0:21:20 > 0:21:23what with it being the Horrible Histories Prom.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27Oh, I don't like where this is headed. What have you got?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- I've got snacks from Ancient Greece. - What did they eat?
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- Roasted goat lungs. - I don't think so.- Ah.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I CAN do you a mini Tudor blancmange.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- That's more like it. Is it strawberry?- No.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Chicken brain.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Oh! Disgusting!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Do you have anything that's in the slightest bit edible?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- I do have a jelly.- Oh.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Made from fish bladders.- Revolting!
0:21:49 > 0:21:54- Who made that, the cave men?- No, that would be you Victorians, Ma'am.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Oh. Well, I'll take one of those, then.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Oh, and see if you can find me some Aztecs,
0:21:59 > 0:22:01they're rolling in chocolate.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Little bit complicated buying it off them, though,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06they use the chocolate as money.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10- Very good, Ma'am.- And I'll take one of the chicken brain blancmanges.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12It's...for a friend.
0:22:14 > 0:22:18If he comes back without chocolate, you chop his head off.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- I don't think you can do that any more, Ma'am.- Oh...
0:22:21 > 0:22:25I wish I was Queen in Henry VIII's time - he could do what he liked.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Oh, how does that song of his go?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Funny you should say that, Ma'am, he's on now.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Oh!
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Oh, here we go. HENRY VIII LAUGHS
0:22:35 > 0:22:38# Divorced, beheaded and died
0:22:38 > 0:22:41# Divorced, beheaded, survived!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43# I'm Henry the Eighth I had six sorry wives
0:22:43 > 0:22:46# Some might say I ruined their lives
0:22:46 > 0:22:51Ah, here we go. HE CHUCKLES
0:22:51 > 0:22:53# Catherine Of Aragon was One
0:22:53 > 0:22:55# She failed to give me a son
0:22:55 > 0:22:58# I had to ask her for a divorce
0:22:58 > 0:23:00# That broke her poor heart Of course
0:23:00 > 0:23:02# Young Anne Boleyn, she was Two
0:23:02 > 0:23:05# Had a daughter The best she could do
0:23:05 > 0:23:07# I said she flirted with some other man
0:23:07 > 0:23:10# And off for the chop went dear Anne
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Ugh...
0:23:12 > 0:23:15# Lovely Jane Seymour was Three
0:23:15 > 0:23:17# The love of a lifetime for me
0:23:17 > 0:23:19# She gave me a son Little Prince Ed
0:23:19 > 0:23:22# Then poor old Jane went and dropped dead
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Oh, dear.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26# Divorced, beheaded and died
0:23:26 > 0:23:29# Divorced, beheaded, survived!
0:23:29 > 0:23:31# I'm Henry the Eighth I had six sorry wives
0:23:31 > 0:23:34# Some might say I ruined their lives
0:23:34 > 0:23:36OK, here we go.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41# Anne of Cleves came at Four
0:23:41 > 0:23:43# I fell for the portrait I saw
0:23:43 > 0:23:46# Then laid eyes on her face And cried, "She's a horse!
0:23:46 > 0:23:48# "I must have another divorce!"
0:23:48 > 0:23:50# Catherine Howard was Five
0:23:50 > 0:23:53# A child of nineteen, so alive
0:23:53 > 0:23:55# She flirted with others No way to behave
0:23:55 > 0:23:57# The axe sent young Cath to her grave
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Ha-huh.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03# Catherine Parr, she was last
0:24:03 > 0:24:06# By then all my best days were past
0:24:06 > 0:24:09# I lay on my deathbed, aged just 55
0:24:09 > 0:24:13# Lucky Catherine the Last stayed alive
0:24:13 > 0:24:15I mean, how unfair!
0:24:15 > 0:24:18LAUGHTER
0:24:18 > 0:24:20# Divorced, beheaded and died
0:24:20 > 0:24:23# Divorced, beheaded, survived!
0:24:23 > 0:24:25# I'm Henry the Eighth I had six sorry wives
0:24:25 > 0:24:27# Some might say I ruined their lives. #
0:24:27 > 0:24:31OBOE SOLO
0:24:35 > 0:24:37How about that, then?
0:24:39 > 0:24:41# Divorced, beheaded and died
0:24:41 > 0:24:43# Divorced, beheaded, survived... #
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Catchy song, that. Might have to do one about my father,
0:24:46 > 0:24:48The King Charles song.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49# Beheaded, died. #
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Might be a bit short.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53What's on now?
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- ORCHESTRA PLAYS - March To The Scaffold by Berlioz?
0:24:57 > 0:25:01More executions? This party's getting a bit depressing!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I'll have to go in there and sort them all out.
0:25:04 > 0:25:05HE CHUCKLES
0:25:05 > 0:25:09Let's choose some victims then!
0:25:09 > 0:25:13MUSIC: "March To The Scaffold" By Belioz
0:25:28 > 0:25:30I can't watch!
0:25:30 > 0:25:31Oh...
0:26:24 > 0:26:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Hold your horses, chaps.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30It doesn't say anything in here about beheadings.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Bit of a downer - this is supposed to be family entertainment,
0:26:34 > 0:26:38you don't want to see people being beheaded, do you, children?
0:26:38 > 0:26:39CHILDREN: Yes!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42Right, well, you're weird, some of you.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45It happened to my dad and I don't think he liked it very much.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48No, no, it won't do at all. Come on, let's cheer things up.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51If you've been blindfolded by those nasty men,
0:26:51 > 0:26:54free yourselves and let's party!
0:26:54 > 0:26:57- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Who do you think you are?!
0:26:57 > 0:27:00I'll tell you who I am.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# My name is My name is
0:27:02 > 0:27:05# My name is Charles II
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# I love the people and the people love me
0:27:07 > 0:27:10# So much that they restored the English monarchy
0:27:10 > 0:27:12# I'm part Scottish, French, Italian A little bit Dane
0:27:12 > 0:27:15# But 100% party animal Champagne?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Spaniels, I adore Named after me, too
0:27:17 > 0:27:20# Like me, they were fun With a Natty hairdo
0:27:20 > 0:27:23# Is today my birthday? I can't recall
0:27:23 > 0:27:25# Lets have a party anyway Because I love a masked ball!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# All hail The King
0:27:28 > 0:27:29# Of bling
0:27:29 > 0:27:31# Let's sing
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# Bells ring Ding-ding
0:27:33 > 0:27:36# I'm the king Who brought back partying
0:27:41 > 0:27:43# King Charles, my daddy
0:27:43 > 0:27:44# Lost his throne when kings were banned
0:27:44 > 0:27:46# They chopped off his head Then Olly Cromwell ruled the land
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# Old Olly wasn't jolly He was glum and was proud
0:27:49 > 0:27:51# He'd be miserable as sin Only sinning's not allowed
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# When Olly died the people said "Charlie, me-hearty
0:27:54 > 0:27:57# "Get rid of his dull laws Come back, we'd rather party!"
0:27:57 > 0:28:00# This action's what they call the Monarchy Restoration
0:28:00 > 0:28:02# Which naturally was followed by a huge celebration!
0:28:02 > 0:28:07# The King, of Eng-land say "No sin to sing
0:28:07 > 0:28:10# Or anything
0:28:10 > 0:28:13# I'm the king who brought back partying
0:28:18 > 0:28:20- # Great London Fire was a- whopper
0:28:20 > 0:28:22- # In my reign London city came a- cropper
0:28:22 > 0:28:25- # So this King did what was right and- proper
0:28:25 > 0:28:27- # Fought the fire Proved I'm more than a- bopper
0:28:27 > 0:28:28# I'm a fire-stopper!
0:28:29 > 0:28:32# Married Catherine Braganza She was a love so true
0:28:32 > 0:28:34# There would never be another Well, maybe one or two
0:28:34 > 0:28:37# Lucy Walter, Nell Gwynn Moll Davis, Barbara Villiers
0:28:37 > 0:28:40# You think that's bad But her name's not as silly as
0:28:40 > 0:28:42# Hortense Manzini
0:28:42 > 0:28:45# As King, I must admit I broke the wedding rules
0:28:45 > 0:28:48# But who cares when I brought back the crown jewels?
0:28:48 > 0:28:50# I reinstated Christmas, make-up Sport and even plays
0:28:50 > 0:28:53# I was the Merry Monarch They were good old days
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# When said And done
0:28:56 > 0:28:58# King Charles Did run
0:28:58 > 0:29:01# England For fun
0:29:01 > 0:29:02# I was the King Loved by everyone
0:29:02 > 0:29:04# My song is done. #
0:29:04 > 0:29:07APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Party anyone?
0:29:11 > 0:29:15Calm down, son, it's not that bad!
0:29:15 > 0:29:17I'm over here!
0:29:18 > 0:29:19Oh, there you are.
0:29:19 > 0:29:20I mean, it's so unfair.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23Charles II's had a solo, Henry VIII's had a solo.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25When's my solo?
0:29:25 > 0:29:30Oooh, someone's in a bad mood, isn't he? Again!
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Hopefully the next piece will calm him down.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36Uh-oh! Handel's Royal Fireworks music?
0:29:36 > 0:29:39- HE CHUCKLES - Don't think that'll help.
0:29:39 > 0:29:43MUSIC: "Music For The Royal Fireworks" by Handel
0:30:00 > 0:30:02This Music for the Royal Fireworks
0:30:02 > 0:30:05was written by Handel for King George II.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07And when it was first performed
0:30:07 > 0:30:10they had a massive fireworks display on a huge wooden stage,
0:30:10 > 0:30:11which caught fire.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Ha ha ha!
0:30:13 > 0:30:15And just in case that happens here,
0:30:15 > 0:30:18I've brought a marshmallow along to toast.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21Oh, it's dropped off somewhere.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24Oh! Going to have to slip off for an early interval.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27Check the bins for another one. 'Scuse I.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:17 > 0:31:20We're at the end of the first half. Time for a short interval.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22So far things seem to be going without a hitch,
0:31:22 > 0:31:24probably because they're keeping the Vikings
0:31:24 > 0:31:26locked up in their dressing room.
0:31:26 > 0:31:27Me here for music.
0:31:27 > 0:31:30No, no. No. We're already halfway through, you're late, man.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32No. No, me not late man,
0:31:32 > 0:31:33me early man.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35- I see. No, no, no.- I meant...
0:31:35 > 0:31:37I know what you meant, man.
0:31:39 > 0:31:40No, no, no!
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Hello?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46Hi, I'm a shouty man,
0:31:46 > 0:31:49and I'm here to tell you about the fantastic Royal Albert Hall,
0:31:49 > 0:31:51the Victorian concert hall sensation.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55The amazing Royal Albert Hall is made from all natural ingredients,
0:31:55 > 0:31:58including woe, heartbreak and tears, as it was built by
0:31:58 > 0:32:01a grieving Queen Victoria in memory of her dead husband.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03That's him.
0:32:03 > 0:32:04He's dead.
0:32:04 > 0:32:05SHE SOBS
0:32:05 > 0:32:07There, there, Your Majesty. And that's not all.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09As well as being a national memorial
0:32:09 > 0:32:11it was perfectly designed for
0:32:11 > 0:32:14all your concert, festival and concert needs. Right?
0:32:14 > 0:32:15Wrong.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Unfortunately the giant dome ceiling
0:32:17 > 0:32:19gave the whole place a terrible echo.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22Echo. Echo. What he said.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23So they had to fit
0:32:23 > 0:32:25a load of giant mushroom-shaped thingies to the ceiling
0:32:25 > 0:32:27to absorb the sound.
0:32:27 > 0:32:28No, really. Look.
0:32:28 > 0:32:29And what's more,
0:32:29 > 0:32:33the Victorians would squeeze a whopping 9,000 people in here,
0:32:33 > 0:32:36though any more than 6,000 is massively unsafe.
0:32:36 > 0:32:37Ha ha ha!
0:32:37 > 0:32:39So when Victorian Robert Newman
0:32:39 > 0:32:42established his promenade concerts in 1895
0:32:42 > 0:32:44where else would he hold them, but,
0:32:44 > 0:32:46just down the road at the Queen's Hall.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48Straight up Regent Street, on your right.
0:32:48 > 0:32:52But the Queen's Hall was destroyed by a bomb in World War II
0:32:52 > 0:32:54so now the Proms are held here,
0:32:54 > 0:32:57at the fantastic Royal Albert Hall.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00So come to the Royal Albert Hall,
0:33:00 > 0:33:03your first choice for orchestral entertainment.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Or your second choice
0:33:04 > 0:33:06if the other place gets bombed.
0:33:09 > 0:33:10Come on, get out of the way.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12This is the royal toilet and I am the King.
0:33:12 > 0:33:13I'm King too.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15And I'm a King.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17- I'm a cupcake.- Course you are, mate.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Henry VIII's in there with his personal bottom-wiper.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Calls him his groom of the stool.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Popular job in his day, apparently.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Not my sort of party, but each to their own.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Oh, but I'm busting!
0:33:29 > 0:33:30Out of your breeches!
0:33:30 > 0:33:34- You should eat less.- Does anyone mind if I go to the front?
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Wait your turn, young man.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37Story of my life.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40Oh, get on with it! They're starting again!
0:33:41 > 0:33:48MUSIC: # Marche pour la ceremonie des Turcs by Jean-Baptiste Lully
0:35:02 > 0:35:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Coooeeee,
0:35:06 > 0:35:10cooeee, it's me, Death!
0:35:10 > 0:35:13He he he he!
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Hey, look, it's only my favourite conductor!
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Jean-Baptiste Lully.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21Cooeee! Lully! I love you.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24I do. I really do.
0:35:24 > 0:35:25Thank you, I think.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29I love the conducting you do with the big stick too. All this stuff.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31# Da da da, da da da da
0:35:31 > 0:35:33# Di, di-di di di. #
0:35:33 > 0:35:35I love it. Love it.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38So much classier than that other fellow with his little twig.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40# Ni ni-ni ni ni ni ni. #
0:35:40 > 0:35:42- Rubbish.- Do you mind?
0:35:42 > 0:35:44Ooh, sorry, maestro.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47If looks could kill.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50I'm already dead, mate. I'm already dead.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51Keep up, keep up.
0:35:51 > 0:35:55So, which of my musical pieces do you like the most?
0:35:55 > 0:35:57The one you just heard, perhaps?
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Marche pour la ceremonie des Turcs?
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Or maybe you prefer my Air des Demons?
0:36:04 > 0:36:05Oh, no, no, no, no.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09Listen, I'm not a big fan of your music, mate.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11I mean, it's all right and all that,
0:36:11 > 0:36:14but I am a big fan of your Stupid Death.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17Come on organ grinder, that was your cue.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Come on, here we go!
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Let's get the jingle, come on.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Move it, you lot. Come on. Oh!
0:36:23 > 0:36:24Watch it!
0:36:24 > 0:36:28Join in if you know the words.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29One, two, three, four.
0:36:29 > 0:36:30# Stupid death, stupid death
0:36:30 > 0:36:33# They're funny cos they're true. #
0:36:33 > 0:36:38# Stupid death, stupid death Hope next time it's not you. #
0:36:38 > 0:36:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:44 > 0:36:47Right, come on then, Monsieur Lully, fire away.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49What's your story?
0:36:49 > 0:36:52Well, I was the official composer
0:36:52 > 0:36:56to non other than the French King, Louis XIV.
0:36:56 > 0:37:04Between 1672 and 1686 I wrote no less than 20 operas so...
0:37:04 > 0:37:09Ner, ner, ner, well done, top of the class. Swotty trousers!
0:37:09 > 0:37:11But the Stupid Death, if you don't mind.
0:37:11 > 0:37:15Well, in 1687 to celebrate Louis XIV's recent recovery
0:37:15 > 0:37:20from a terrible illness I was conducting a Te Deum.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22A tedium?
0:37:22 > 0:37:23What's that?
0:37:23 > 0:37:26A spectacularly boring piece of music?
0:37:26 > 0:37:29No, no, no. It's Te Deum, it's Latin,
0:37:29 > 0:37:33it means a hymn of praise.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36I know, I know, I was being amusing.
0:37:36 > 0:37:40Oh, sorry, you're French, you wouldn't understand.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44I was beating time for the orchestra using my big staff
0:37:44 > 0:37:46which I bang against the floor.
0:37:46 > 0:37:49You may have noticed me doing it on the way in with the...?
0:37:49 > 0:37:50Ah yes, maestro,
0:37:50 > 0:37:54you see, they hadn't invented tiddly little batons like yours
0:37:54 > 0:37:57in Lully's day, so they had to conduct using a proper big stick.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58# De de de de. #
0:37:58 > 0:38:01See? Much better, watch him, you'll learn from him!
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Carry on.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06So yes, I was beating time for the music like so.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Boom boom boom! You get the idea.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10Yeah, yeah.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12When I was a little careless,
0:38:12 > 0:38:13and I missed the floor
0:38:13 > 0:38:16and struck instead my own toe.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Argh! Not again!
0:38:18 > 0:38:22Oooh, that sounds almost as painful as it is funny.
0:38:22 > 0:38:27Yes, well the wound became infected, creating an abscess.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31Ooh, I like where this is going!
0:38:31 > 0:38:33And the abscess then developed gangrene...
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Yes?
0:38:36 > 0:38:37..and I died.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41Ha ha!
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Oh, hey!
0:38:45 > 0:38:47You came to a STICKY end!
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Ha ha ha!
0:38:49 > 0:38:51Do you get it? Because of the... She gets it.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53Ha ha!
0:38:53 > 0:38:57Hey, maestro, don't let him near one of your little batons,
0:38:57 > 0:39:00he'll probably have his eye out. Priceless!
0:39:00 > 0:39:01Oh, come on then, Lully.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03Let's get you backstage.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06I want to take a look at this gangrenous toe.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09He he! Exit music, please.
0:39:11 > 0:39:15# Stupid Death, Stupid Death They're funny cos they're true
0:39:15 > 0:39:21# Stupid Death, Stupid Death Hope next time it's not you. #
0:39:21 > 0:39:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Hello, guten tag.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Guten tag.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35I'm Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
0:39:35 > 0:39:38the greatest composer that has ever lived.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41I played to your King George III of England
0:39:41 > 0:39:43when I was just eight years old.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45Can you imagine how cute?
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Hello.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Excuse me, I'm talking, please.
0:39:49 > 0:39:50Now where was I?
0:39:50 > 0:39:52I'm Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
0:39:52 > 0:39:55the greatest composer that has every lived.
0:39:55 > 0:40:00At the age of 11 I composed the opera Bastien und Bastienne.
0:40:00 > 0:40:01Yes, what do you want?
0:40:01 > 0:40:05Excuse me, what time does the concert start?
0:40:05 > 0:40:07The concert's already started.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09- We're over halfway through.- What?
0:40:09 > 0:40:11I said it's already started.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13What?
0:40:13 > 0:40:16WE'RE OVER HALFWAY THROUGH!
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Why are you whispering?
0:40:20 > 0:40:23Right, you stay there.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Excuse me, may I borrow this?
0:40:25 > 0:40:26Thanks you so much.
0:40:29 > 0:40:32IT'S ALREADY STARTED!
0:40:35 > 0:40:36Now, where was I?
0:40:36 > 0:40:39I'm Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
0:40:39 > 0:40:41the greatest composer that has ever lived.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43It has already started?
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Yes!
0:40:45 > 0:40:46OK.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48You need to relax.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50You need to chill off, buddy, huh?
0:40:52 > 0:40:57My name is Ludwig van Beethoven.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00I am the greatest composer that ever lived.
0:41:04 > 0:41:05Well this is awkward.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08CLEARS THROAT
0:41:09 > 0:41:10I'm Mozart.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12I was greater than you.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17I don't think so, Wolfie.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21My Third Symphony revolutionised music.
0:41:21 > 0:41:27My Ninth Symphony was the first to involve singers und orchestra.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29And you might recognise my most famous piece of music,
0:41:29 > 0:41:32my Fifth Symphony, it goes something like this.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34# Va va va va... #
0:41:34 > 0:41:36You recognise that?
0:41:36 > 0:41:38So you stick that in your Schnitzel.
0:41:40 > 0:41:41Oh yeah?
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Well I composed over 600 pieces of music.
0:41:45 > 0:41:51Operas, duets, trios, quartets, quintets, concertos, and symphonies
0:41:51 > 0:41:54and all before I was 36.
0:41:54 > 0:41:55So you beat that.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Girlfriend.
0:42:01 > 0:42:06I composed half my music when I was deaf.
0:42:10 > 0:42:11Shall we call it a draw?
0:42:12 > 0:42:13Okey doke.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Come on, let's find you a hairbrush.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17- I was so the greatest.- What?
0:42:17 > 0:42:18Nothing, nothing.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20It was me. It was me!
0:42:22 > 0:42:23It's true.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26Brilliant Beethoven got deafer as he got older.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29In fact, after the first performance of his Ninth Symphony
0:42:29 > 0:42:32Beethoven didn't know the audience was applauding
0:42:32 > 0:42:34until someone turned him round to face them.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37I thought I was going deaf once. Down in the sewer.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39It turned out I just had poo in my ears.
0:42:39 > 0:42:40Ha ha!
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Marvellous Mozart was pretty brilliant too,
0:42:44 > 0:42:46and this piece is one of his most famous.
0:42:46 > 0:42:51It's the overture to the opera, Marriage of Figaro.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53MUSIC: # Overture to Marriage of Figaro by Mozart
0:43:56 > 0:43:58I've had just about enough of this,
0:43:58 > 0:44:01I've waited for all the other kings to sing, waited for the toilet,
0:44:01 > 0:44:03I don't care if it's my turn or not, I am going on.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05Oh look, you're up next.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08I don't care what you say, you can't hold me back any longer,
0:44:08 > 0:44:09I'm going on now.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11That's what I said, isn't it?
0:44:11 > 0:44:14They say I'm mad! Wait for me!
0:44:20 > 0:44:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:44:23 > 0:44:25That's enough!
0:44:25 > 0:44:28CHEERING CONTINUES
0:44:34 > 0:44:36It's time for my solo.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46# I'm George the IV the Regent King
0:44:46 > 0:44:49# Which means I was just standing in
0:44:49 > 0:44:53# Acting King because my dad
0:44:53 > 0:44:56# George III had gone barking mad
0:44:56 > 0:44:57Bananas!
0:44:57 > 0:45:00# Great palaces I did design
0:45:00 > 0:45:04# Buckingham was one of mine
0:45:04 > 0:45:06# Art and fashion I so rated
0:45:06 > 0:45:08And wives
0:45:08 > 0:45:11# That's more complicated
0:45:11 > 0:45:14# Actresses and duchesses
0:45:14 > 0:45:17# The great loves of my life
0:45:17 > 0:45:20# I loved more girls than I ate pies
0:45:20 > 0:45:24# But I couldn't stand my wife
0:45:24 > 0:45:27- # He couldn't stand his wife - Just go away!
0:45:27 > 0:45:31# I only married Queen Caroline
0:45:31 > 0:45:34# When my debts began to climb
0:45:34 > 0:45:37# Cos if I agreed to tie the knot
0:45:37 > 0:45:40# I said I'd pay off the lot
0:45:40 > 0:45:41- Didn't I?- Yes.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45# But the wedding caused all sorts of strife
0:45:45 > 0:45:48# Cos I already had a wife
0:45:48 > 0:45:49A divorced Catholic!
0:45:49 > 0:45:52# Dad did sigh, but the mad old goat
0:45:52 > 0:45:54# Just wouldn't die
0:45:54 > 0:45:55Still here!
0:45:55 > 0:45:57Oh, spoke too soon!
0:45:57 > 0:45:59At last, I go solo, all right!
0:45:59 > 0:46:02# As true king my reign began
0:46:02 > 0:46:05# Though I was now older than your nan
0:46:05 > 0:46:08# And as the ruler of our nation
0:46:08 > 0:46:10I banned my wife from my coronation
0:46:10 > 0:46:14# And knowing now that I did hate her
0:46:14 > 0:46:17# She promptly died just three weeks later
0:46:17 > 0:46:20# But all those pies that I got through
0:46:20 > 0:46:24# Meant ten years later I died too! #
0:46:24 > 0:46:26Hello! Have we met?
0:46:26 > 0:46:28I'm a kangaroo!
0:46:28 > 0:46:31# Actresses, duchesses
0:46:31 > 0:46:33# The great loves of my life
0:46:33 > 0:46:37# I loved more girls than I ate pies
0:46:37 > 0:46:40# But I couldn't stand my wife
0:46:40 > 0:46:43# I had just ten years on the throne
0:46:43 > 0:46:46# Do you remember that?
0:46:46 > 0:46:50# No, all that you remember is...
0:46:59 > 0:47:00# I was really fat
0:47:02 > 0:47:04# He was really fat. #
0:47:08 > 0:47:10Sorry.
0:47:10 > 0:47:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:47:11 > 0:47:14No wonder George IV's so miserable.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17Born too late for me to write a play about him.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19Ha ha ha!
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Let's see what's next.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Oh, another one of mine.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Mendelssohn's Wedding March.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28Wrote it as music for my play, A Midsummer Night's Dream.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Basically mine.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Sort of his, but mainly mine.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35Yeah, they've used it for weddings ever since.
0:47:35 > 0:47:38I mean, who doesn't like to hear The Wedding March, eh?
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Oh, Albert!
0:47:41 > 0:47:42Her.
0:47:42 > 0:47:43Philistine!
0:47:43 > 0:47:45SHE SOBS
0:47:45 > 0:47:47Shhh!
0:47:47 > 0:47:50MUSIC: # The Wedding March by Mendelssohn
0:48:28 > 0:48:33This is Mike Peabody, HHTV News, with a breaking story.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36Queen Victoria has locked herself inside the royal toilet
0:48:36 > 0:48:39and is refusing to come out to sing her song.
0:48:39 > 0:48:40It's devastating news.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44It could spell disaster for the whole Horrible Histories Prom.
0:48:44 > 0:48:45No, no, it's fine, my man.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48They've just asked another queen to do it. Cheers.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51Well, you heard it here first.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53Everything's fine, there is no story.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Another Mike Peabody exclusive.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11# Ra ra Cleopatra
0:49:11 > 0:49:13# Famous beauty comin' atcha
0:49:13 > 0:49:14# Ra ra Patra-cleo
0:49:14 > 0:49:17# Guys all go Gaga for me-o
0:49:17 > 0:49:20# I am a leader and a lady and a Queen
0:49:20 > 0:49:24# I'm Cleopatra such a Queen never been seen
0:49:24 > 0:49:28# I am a Pharaoh yet they're-o meant to be guys
0:49:28 > 0:49:32# But I don't care-o I just wear-o beard disguise
0:49:32 > 0:49:35# My mum and dad were Pharaohs I thought my rule's due
0:49:35 > 0:49:39# But both my older sisters thought that they should rule too
0:49:39 > 0:49:43# Oh dear they both died I wonder who that will leave
0:49:43 > 0:49:46# Little me-o? Pharaoh Cleo? OK, no time to grieve
0:49:46 > 0:49:50# Think that's alarming you'd be right but it gets worse
0:49:50 > 0:49:54# Married my half-brother and we ruled the universe
0:49:54 > 0:49:57# That bad romance led to an overcrowded throne
0:49:57 > 0:50:01# But then he died, boo hoo so now I rule alone
0:50:01 > 0:50:03# Wah wah wah, woh who
0:50:03 > 0:50:04# All hail Lady Cleo
0:50:04 > 0:50:06# Wah wah wah, la la
0:50:06 > 0:50:08# Coolest Pharaoh by far
0:50:11 > 0:50:13# Fashion topped my list of vices
0:50:13 > 0:50:15# Bathed in ass' milk and spices
0:50:15 > 0:50:17# Then I dressed like Goddess Isis
0:50:17 > 0:50:19# Long black hair in ringlets nicest
0:50:19 > 0:50:21# Vipers too, for men entices
0:50:21 > 0:50:23# Finest linen robe top prices
0:50:30 > 0:50:34# Married another brother He's an OK geezer
0:50:34 > 0:50:37# But never told of my love for with Julius Caesar
0:50:37 > 0:50:41# Had Caesar's child and hoped that he'd be crowned king
0:50:41 > 0:50:43# My bro said no, I said oh
0:50:43 > 0:50:44# And I murdered him
0:50:44 > 0:50:48# Cos I am Cleopatra, Egypt's royalty
0:50:48 > 0:50:52# The ruling Pharaoh don't you dare-o mess with me
0:50:52 > 0:50:55# My poker face smiles only when I see
0:50:55 > 0:50:59# A man who takes my fancy like, ooh Marc Antony
0:50:59 > 0:51:01# Wah wah wah, woh who
0:51:01 > 0:51:03# Another Roman leader
0:51:03 > 0:51:05# Wah wah wah, la la
0:51:05 > 0:51:06# No Egyptian crowd pleaser
0:51:06 > 0:51:08# Ra ra Cleopatra
0:51:08 > 0:51:11# Finally I'd met my match-a
0:51:11 > 0:51:12# Ra ra Patra-cleo
0:51:12 > 0:51:14# Ends in death for him and me-o
0:51:14 > 0:51:15# My life was a drama
0:51:15 > 0:51:17# I was one kooky mamma
0:51:17 > 0:51:21# Wah wah wah, you know
0:51:21 > 0:51:25# Today I'd be a favourite of the Paparazzo. #
0:51:25 > 0:51:27No pictures! No pictures!
0:51:27 > 0:51:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:51:28 > 0:51:30Good song.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32Not as good as my play about Cleopatra.
0:51:32 > 0:51:33Antony and Cleopatra.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36But good song, catchy.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Oh, that's the last of my bits.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41I imagine everyone will be going home now.
0:51:41 > 0:51:42Oh, oh!
0:51:42 > 0:51:45My, what command of language you have!
0:51:45 > 0:51:47You should write!
0:51:47 > 0:51:49Oh, I see, your lot are up next.
0:51:49 > 0:51:51I see what they've done there.
0:51:51 > 0:51:52Yes, because Stone Age man
0:51:52 > 0:51:55was around at the same time as the Ancient Egyptians.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58They were a bit more advanced than you, though, weren't they?
0:51:58 > 0:52:01I mean, they were building vast pyramids and palaces
0:52:01 > 0:52:04when you were working on Stonehenge.
0:52:04 > 0:52:05What are you, anyway?
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Neolithic or Palaeolithic?
0:52:07 > 0:52:08I always get confused.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11Talk too much!
0:52:23 > 0:52:25# I'm sure you've heard
0:52:25 > 0:52:28# The Stone Age occurred
0:52:28 > 0:52:32# For two and a half million years
0:52:32 > 0:52:35# But there's more of stone Age
0:52:35 > 0:52:36# To engage
0:52:36 > 0:52:41# Than maybe at first appears
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Hit it!
0:52:44 > 0:52:47# Dinosaurs, Neanderthals Let's make this clearer
0:52:47 > 0:52:50# Didn't live together Came from different eras
0:52:50 > 0:52:51# That's not all I can tell you
0:52:51 > 0:52:54# So much more to be known
0:52:54 > 0:52:56# About the many phases in the Ages of Stone
0:52:56 > 0:52:59# Shoo be doo be doo wop It's all the rage
0:52:59 > 0:53:02# To skiddely bop do wah Brush up on your Stone Age
0:53:02 > 0:53:04# Oh yeah
0:53:04 > 0:53:05# All right
0:53:05 > 0:53:09# It's fine to define an era Palaeolithic
0:53:09 > 0:53:11# But you have to be a little more specific
0:53:11 > 0:53:13# Do you mean Lower?
0:53:13 > 0:53:15# When ancient beings first used tools?
0:53:15 > 0:53:16# Or Middle Palaeolithic
0:53:16 > 0:53:18# When Neanderthal rules?
0:53:18 > 0:53:21# That's when Homo sapien starts to emerge
0:53:21 > 0:53:24# But just in Africa It's long before their global surge
0:53:24 > 0:53:26# Not til Upper Palaeolithic
0:53:26 > 0:53:27# 40,000 years ago
0:53:27 > 0:53:31# Did Neanderthal and Homo sapien say hello
0:53:31 > 0:53:34# Neanderthals and Homosapie
0:53:34 > 0:53:37# Living in caveman harmony
0:53:37 > 0:53:40# Language was invented Cave painting, art
0:53:40 > 0:53:43# Then Palaeolithic ended which meant the start
0:53:43 > 0:53:46# Of phase two be doo be doo wop Turn a new page
0:53:46 > 0:53:49Skiddely bop do wah Mug up on the Stone Age
0:53:49 > 0:53:51# Oh yeah
0:53:51 > 0:53:53# All right
0:53:53 > 0:53:56# This is where it starts to get all scientific
0:53:56 > 0:53:59# Palaeolithics followed by the era of Mesolithic
0:53:59 > 0:54:02# Then Neanderthals are wiped out by the Ice Age - horrific!
0:54:02 > 0:54:05# After which the Neolithic Age which was terrific
0:54:05 > 0:54:08# Man learned to farm Built homes so that they could settle
0:54:08 > 0:54:12# Then some other folks turned up and they discovered metal
0:54:12 > 0:54:14# Beaker Men from Europe found bronze and outgrown
0:54:14 > 0:54:18# The simple and traditional ways of stone
0:54:18 > 0:54:22# Bronze age was invented by now men was flying
0:54:22 > 0:54:24# Cos hot on its heels came the Age of Iron
0:54:24 > 0:54:26# Celts, Druids
0:54:26 > 0:54:28# Religion, then Rome
0:54:28 > 0:54:31# By now a distant memory those Ages of Stone
0:54:31 > 0:54:32# Shoo be doo be doo wop
0:54:32 > 0:54:34# Since that metallic stage
0:54:34 > 0:54:37# Skiddely bop do wah There was no more Stone Age
0:54:37 > 0:54:40# Shoo be doo be doo wop Now you know what is known
0:54:40 > 0:54:43# About the many phases Of the Ages of Stone
0:54:43 > 0:54:47# Yeah! #
0:54:47 > 0:54:49All right!
0:54:49 > 0:54:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:53 > 0:54:57I interrupt this Prom to bring you breaking news
0:54:57 > 0:54:59that Vikings have invaded the Royal Albert Hall.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03Did someone say an invasion?
0:55:03 > 0:55:05Ooh, I love a good invasion!
0:55:05 > 0:55:07No, no, no, no. This is not good.
0:55:07 > 0:55:09The Vikings are invading, they're nearly here.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11Oh, I can't wait!
0:55:11 > 0:55:13For your own safety, ladies and gentlemen,
0:55:13 > 0:55:17please keep your heads down to avoid any flying axes.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19Oh, don't be such a spoilsport. Hey, maestro,
0:55:19 > 0:55:22play them something they can invade by.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26How about Wagner's The Ride of the Valkyries?
0:55:26 > 0:55:31MUSIC: # The Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner
0:55:32 > 0:55:34I love Vikings, I do.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36We've got a lot in common.
0:55:36 > 0:55:39Furry face, eat anything, always wash once a week.
0:55:39 > 0:55:40Although I wash in the sewer.
0:55:40 > 0:55:44But I'm not such a big fan of their axes and swords.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Oh, here they come!
0:55:47 > 0:55:48Gangway!
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Do enjoy the rest of the Prom.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Let's do this thing.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11# Was the summer of 793
0:57:11 > 0:57:14# When we sailed across the great North Sea
0:57:14 > 0:57:16# Comets crossed the skies that night
0:57:16 > 0:57:19# You must have known something wasn't right
0:57:19 > 0:57:23# We arrived upon your English shore
0:57:23 > 0:57:26# And you offered friendship but we wanted more
0:57:28 > 0:57:32# Yeah so much more, whoa whoa
0:57:32 > 0:57:34# We're tearing up this place tonight
0:57:34 > 0:57:37# Literally!
0:57:37 > 0:57:41# We're gonna set this sleepy town alight
0:57:41 > 0:57:43# Literally!
0:57:45 > 0:57:47# We'll kill and steal and burn and drink
0:57:47 > 0:57:54# Cos us Viking don't care what you think
0:57:54 > 0:57:55# Whoa whoa
0:57:57 > 0:58:00# Let me in now, won't you, please?
0:58:00 > 0:58:03# We're here to raid your monasteries
0:58:03 > 0:58:06# We're primed and ready to attack
0:58:06 > 0:58:09# And we love how monks just don't fight back
0:58:09 > 0:58:12# You'll die or become a slave to me
0:58:12 > 0:58:16# Though our slaves often get chucked in the sea!
0:58:18 > 0:58:22BOTH: # If the boat's heavy! Yeah yeah!
0:58:22 > 0:58:24# You're gonna lose your head my friend
0:58:24 > 0:58:28# Literally!
0:58:28 > 0:58:31# We're gonna get you in the end!
0:58:31 > 0:58:33# Literally!
0:58:33 > 0:58:37# Then I'll drink a toast from your skull
0:58:37 > 0:58:39# Cos we're Vikings
0:58:39 > 0:58:45# And that's how we roll. #
0:58:45 > 0:58:47Play that axe, Ragnar!
0:58:59 > 0:59:02# We're gonna paint the whole town red!
0:59:02 > 0:59:05# Literally!
0:59:05 > 0:59:09# With the blood of the dead
0:59:09 > 0:59:13# Literally!
0:59:13 > 0:59:16# We'll take everything that you own
0:59:16 > 0:59:17# And get back on our ship...
0:59:17 > 0:59:23# And go back home!
0:59:23 > 0:59:28# We're going home
0:59:28 > 0:59:30# Woh, woh, wooooh
0:59:30 > 0:59:34# We're going home
0:59:34 > 0:59:38# Woh, woh, wooooh
0:59:38 > 0:59:47# We're going home. #
0:59:47 > 0:59:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:59:51 > 0:59:53Thank you, everyone.
0:59:53 > 0:59:59I'm afraid, everyone, that is all we've got time for.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01Thank you so much for listening.
1:00:01 > 1:00:04It's been really, really horrible.
1:00:04 > 1:00:05But in a good way.
1:00:05 > 1:00:10And now it's time to say goodbye in true Horrible Histories style.
1:00:15 > 1:00:18# Tall tales, Atrocious acts We gave you all the fearsome facts
1:00:18 > 1:00:22# The ugly truth, no glam or glitz We showed you all the juicy bits
1:00:22 > 1:00:25# Gory Stories for you all
1:00:25 > 1:00:29# From the Royal Albert Hall
1:00:29 > 1:00:32# The past is no longer a mystery
1:00:32 > 1:00:34# Hope you enjoyed
1:00:34 > 1:00:41# Horrible Histories. #
1:00:46 > 1:00:49Subtitled by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:00:49 > 1:00:52E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk