Pennod 4

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0:00:00 > 0:00:01- Are you ready, boys?

0:00:02 > 0:00:04- I'm going to talk to you now...

0:00:04 > 0:00:07- ..but I'm not going to swear, - like some captains.

0:00:08 > 0:00:09- We've got to f...

0:00:09 > 0:00:12- We've got to - f-flipping go out there...

0:00:13 > 0:00:16- ..and show - the b-blinking opposition...

0:00:16 > 0:00:17- ..just how...

0:00:20 > 0:00:22- ..just how s-stupid they are.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26- Oh, ****! - I didn't want to be captain anyway.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59- My granny treated me last night.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- She took me to - The Lloyd George Mahal for a curry.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08- I had chicken tikka masala - and my gran had chicken and chips.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- We both love foreign food.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17- How are you, lads and lasses?

0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Welcome back to my online course, - Music-All.

0:01:21 > 0:01:25- I still can't believe - I came up with such a superb title!

0:01:28 > 0:01:31- I hope you know what this course - is about by now...

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- ..but even if you're new, - the title should give it away.

0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Yes, we're dipping a toe into - the exciting waters of the musical.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- I've been busy writing the script.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47- In fact, I've been as busy - as a flea in Dirty Nelly's armpit...

0:01:48 > 0:01:50- ..as Nain Rhech would say.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53- Yes, I've been busy day and night - getting creative.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56- Then I had a brilliant idea.

0:01:58 > 0:02:03- I've asked an old friend to give me - a helping hand with the lyrics.

0:02:05 > 0:02:06- Who could it be?

0:02:06 > 0:02:08- Can you guess?

0:02:14 > 0:02:20- Our series on Val and Jo Jo Eastman, - who moved to Mid Wales, continues.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27- As birdsong heralds a new day...

0:02:27 > 0:02:32- ..our immigrants from Leicester...

0:02:32 > 0:02:34- ..greet the dawn every single day.

0:02:36 > 0:02:40- Yoga awakens the body - and it calms our souls.

0:02:42 > 0:02:43- Oh, **** the bed!

0:02:44 > 0:02:45- My ******* back!

0:02:46 > 0:02:49- I can't go yoga any more. - It's too dangerous.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51- What happened, Jo Jo?

0:02:51 > 0:02:56- Don't worry. I have some oil - and I'll give you a back massage.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59- No, no, no ******* massages!

0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Everyone keeps asking me why - I insist on wearing the old kit.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07- I have my reasons.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08- This is my lucky kit.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- I was shown my first yellow card - in this kit.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- It's really nostalgic.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18- I love a bit of nostalgia.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22- Nostalgia is important to me, - it's important to the boys...

0:03:22 > 0:03:24- ..and it's important to Wales.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29- And Mam forgot to wash my other kit, - so this is all I have.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34- Sorry.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Did you guess - what lucky librettist...

0:03:38 > 0:03:41- ..will write the lyrics - for my musical?

0:03:42 > 0:03:46- Well, one of my best friends - in the whole world...

0:03:46 > 0:03:49- ..the double-chaired, - crown-winning poet...

0:03:49 > 0:03:51- ..Tudur Dylan.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55- How are you, Jonesey? - As crazy as ever?

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- Hello, Sioned.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Dyl, I'm here to talk to you - about my new musical...

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- ..and to give you the opportunity - to write the lyrics for it.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09- I'm a bit busy.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12- I must write an ode by Tuesday...

0:04:12 > 0:04:16- ..and I must judge 200 poems - for the Lampeter Eisteddfod.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- It won't take you long to do that.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- We poets work best - when we're under pressure.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25- That's when the muse hits us...

0:04:26 > 0:04:29- ..and we, the chosen ones, - become its vessel.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33- And I've lost my lucky pen.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35- Write one verse.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39- Once you write it, the rest - will flow like a referee's nose...

0:04:39 > 0:04:44- ..in a game between Antarctic United - and Liquid Nitrogen City...

0:04:45 > 0:04:47- ..as Clever Stanley would say.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49- What's the theme then?

0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Oppression and violence, - injustice and adversity.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58- The little man under the masters' - iron fist, hopelessness...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01- ..suffering - and a touch of untimely death.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03- It's ideal, isn't it?

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- They'll be rolling in the aisles.

0:05:09 > 0:05:10- The past, Dylan.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14- Which indeed is our future. - In the present.

0:05:24 > 0:05:25- Thank you.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Hello! - Thank you for joining us again.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31- It's lovely to have your company.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35- I'm grateful for the happy childhood - I had in Ffynnongroyw...

0:05:36 > 0:05:40- ..and for having - a brilliant musician as a father.

0:05:40 > 0:05:44- Dad came in handy - when I wanted to put on concerts.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- When I was three years old...

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- ..I'd appear from behind the - curtains, ready to headline the gig.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55- Dad was the compere - and the accompanist.

0:05:55 > 0:05:59- He made Dacw Mam Yn Dwad - sound like Rhapsody In Blue...

0:05:59 > 0:06:03- ..crossed with - a Rachmaninoff concerto!

0:06:04 > 0:06:08- My audience was made up of Mam, - Nain and Emrys, my imaginary friend.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11- I'm glad to say - Emrys is here tonight.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Give Emrys a warm welcome.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Next, I'll sing - one of my father's songs.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24- It's one of my favourites too.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30- The 405s are here, to sing Geraint's - arrangement of Hirddydd Haf.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37- # Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh

0:06:37 > 0:06:41- # Ooh-ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

0:06:42 > 0:06:43- # Ooh

0:06:44 > 0:06:46- # Ooh

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- # Ooh-ooh

0:06:49 > 0:06:53- # At dusk on a long summer's day

0:06:54 > 0:06:58- # I go to sleep contentedly

0:06:59 > 0:07:04- # The mild evening air is sweet - On my bed of roses

0:07:04 > 0:07:09- # At dusk on a long summer's day

0:07:09 > 0:07:11- # Ooh-ooh

0:07:12 > 0:07:17- # The music of birds in the bush

0:07:18 > 0:07:21- # Is my beautiful lullaby

0:07:22 > 0:07:27- # Such wonderful notes - Before the stars appear

0:07:27 > 0:07:32- # A song of praise for the summer

0:07:33 > 0:07:37- # At dusk on a long summer's day

0:07:38 > 0:07:42- # I go to sleep contentedly

0:07:43 > 0:07:48- # The mild evening air is sweet - On my bed of roses

0:07:48 > 0:07:53- # At dusk on a long summer's day

0:07:54 > 0:07:55- # Ooh-ooh

0:07:56 > 0:08:00- # Through the thin and clear air

0:08:01 > 0:08:06- # I can hear the leaves rustling

0:08:07 > 0:08:11- # And the babbling brook - As it flows along

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- # Sounds just like a harp, - yes indeed

0:08:16 > 0:08:19- # Yes indeed

0:08:20 > 0:08:24- # At dusk on a long summer's day

0:08:25 > 0:08:30- # I go to sleep contentedly

0:08:30 > 0:08:35- # The mild evening air is sweet - On my bed of roses

0:08:36 > 0:08:52- # At dusk on a long summer's day #

0:08:57 > 0:09:01- There's basil, lavender - and Roman camomile in this oil.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- I'll rub it - deep into Jo Jo's muscles.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07- Ah!

0:09:07 > 0:09:08- Ooh!

0:09:08 > 0:09:12- I can feel your tension, your knots - and your pain.

0:09:15 > 0:09:16- **** Val!

0:09:17 > 0:09:18- Be gentle, Val! Be gentle!

0:09:20 > 0:09:24- In order to get rid of his tension - and knots...

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- ..I've carried out some research - on Jo Jo's behalf.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31- I've discovered - a different type of yoga.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32- Laughter yoga.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Have you heard of laughter yoga?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39- No?

0:09:40 > 0:09:41- It's good.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43- Come! Join us.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54- They've trained hard - but we've trained harder, yeah?

0:09:54 > 0:09:55- Yeah!

0:09:56 > 0:09:59- First phase ball, - then smash them in the rucks.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Yeah!

0:10:01 > 0:10:02- Win the scrum and score tries.

0:10:02 > 0:10:03- Win the scrum and score tries.- - Yeah!

0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Now then, a couple of things.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08- I'm not going to name names...

0:10:08 > 0:10:11- ..but someone - keeps stealing my deodorant.

0:10:11 > 0:10:15- That's fine, as long as - you put it back in my bag, yeah?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19- I'll tell you who was sitting - on the next table.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Maldwyn Roids, that hard man.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24- He was eating a vindaloo.

0:10:26 > 0:10:27- He gave me a forkful.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29- Hot or what!

0:10:30 > 0:10:33- It took the skin - off the top of my mouth.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- It's break time.

0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Let's have a cup of dandelion tea - and sing an old folk song.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46- Oh, ****!

0:10:47 > 0:10:48- .

0:10:52 > 0:10:52- Subtitles

0:10:52 > 0:10:54- Subtitles- - Subtitles

0:10:55 > 0:10:57- Squeeze, after three!

0:10:57 > 0:10:58- One, two, three!

0:10:59 > 0:11:00- Squeeze!

0:11:02 > 0:11:04- A little something for you, Veloria.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05- A little something for you, Veloria.- - What is it?

0:11:06 > 0:11:07- A cabbage?

0:11:07 > 0:11:08- A cabbage?- - From my garden.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13- I know what you're going to say! - Don't look at me like that!

0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Gardening isn't - an old woman's hobby.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Rob and I love it and the veg - tastes much better than shop stuff.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23- It takes me back to the old days.

0:11:23 > 0:11:28- Gardening keeps us fit and we're - saving a fortune on our food bills.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34- We didn't care about the garden - but we're hooked, Veloria.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36- Well, well, well!

0:11:37 > 0:11:39- You're right.

0:11:39 > 0:11:44- There's nothing better than a garden - that's full of... stuff.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50- I was sitting on the patio recently - looking at our garden.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- I said, "Geoff! Look at this garden. - It's a disgrace."

0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Geoff made a couple of phone calls.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02- One of his clients - is a landscape gardener.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06- Geoff struck a deal - with this designer chap.

0:12:06 > 0:12:11- He's going to do our garden, - Annabel and Justin's garden...

0:12:13 > 0:12:14- ..and Geoff's offices.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20- Geoff is also going to - send him out to Gran Canaria...

0:12:20 > 0:12:22- ..to do the garden at the villa.

0:12:22 > 0:12:27- He's only going to charge 50,000 - instead of 80,000!

0:12:27 > 0:12:32- That includes the water features, - so we'd be mad not to go for it.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37- And I got a voucher - at the supermarket the other day.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40- Two for one on the aubergines.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43- That's me all over - - I'm a real bargain hunter.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Are you ready, Jo Jo?

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Are you ready, Jo Jo?- - Not if it's going to hurt, Val.

0:12:50 > 0:12:51- Ha, ha! It won't hurt!

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Oh, I've already broken - one of the rules.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59- In laughter yoga, - there's no motive for the laughter.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03- No jokes, no childish acts - and certainly no humour.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06- Voluntary laughter...

0:13:06 > 0:13:10- ..offers the same physical - and psychological benefits...

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- ..as involuntary laughter.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- That's ******* hilarious!

0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Jo Jo, show some restraint - and adopt a good attitude.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22- Now then, look me in the eye...

0:13:22 > 0:13:25- ..and wait for the laughter to come.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Ready?

0:13:42 > 0:13:44- I can't feel the laughter.

0:13:44 > 0:13:46- But it will come to you, Jo Jo.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Laughter will come.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54- Laughter yoga allows more oxygen - to flow to the brain...

0:13:55 > 0:13:57- ..when you include - yogic breathing...

0:13:58 > 0:14:02- ..which produces deep breathing - from the diaphragm.

0:14:02 > 0:14:06- This is getting to be - a right side-splitter, isn't it?

0:14:06 > 0:14:11- What can't we watch Tommy Cooper - on DVD or something, for **** sake?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14- Because we don't have - a DVD player, Jo Jo!

0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Now then, let's try that again.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Ready?

0:14:30 > 0:14:31- DOOR CLOSES

0:14:31 > 0:14:36- Ta-ta, Brenda! I hope those boys - behave themselves from now on.

0:14:38 > 0:14:39- Who are her boys?

0:14:39 > 0:14:41- You know who they are.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- They're always in trouble.

0:14:43 > 0:14:48- They gamble, they get into fights - and they steal money.

0:14:50 > 0:14:55- One of them was riding his bike - through Rhos the other day...

0:14:55 > 0:14:58- ..and some girl - was sitting on his handlebars.

0:14:59 > 0:15:04- If there's any mischief afoot, - they're always at the centre of it.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07- Who are they then?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10- You know.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Bobby and Billy Flipchart?

0:15:12 > 0:15:13- Bobby and Billy Flipchart?- - No, you fool!

0:15:14 > 0:15:15- Good-looking boys.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Oh, I know! - Quentin and Tarquin ap Gorllewin.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22- They model for Hugo Boss.

0:15:23 > 0:15:28- No, you know! The two who jumped off - the train in Shrewsbury.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- Oh, I know! Butch Cassidy - and the Sundance Kid.

0:15:33 > 0:15:34- That's them!

0:15:35 > 0:15:37- Ooh, they're naughty!

0:15:38 > 0:15:40- But they're not bad boys.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- When it comes to breaking the law...

0:15:46 > 0:15:48- ..they know their stuff.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53- DYLAN PLAYS A COMPUTER GAME

0:15:53 > 0:15:57- Robin the servant - is led onto the ship in chains.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01- This ship will take him on a voyage - to the other side of the world.

0:16:02 > 0:16:03- Leusa, our heroine...

0:16:03 > 0:16:09- ..evades the clutches of the squire, - Sir Quentin Blenkinsop-Smythe.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13- She throws herself at Robin - and she dies there, in his arms.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18- But then she gets up to her feet - to sing the finale.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21- And listen - to the title of the show, Dylan.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24- You won't believe how clever it is!

0:16:24 > 0:16:27- O Walia I Awstralia.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Isn't it astonishing?

0:16:31 > 0:16:35- Listen, Sioned, here's something - I've already written.

0:16:35 > 0:16:39- It will be fine for the first verse - of your musical's finale.

0:16:39 > 0:16:44- You can adapt it to fit in - with your... um, original story.

0:16:46 > 0:16:47- Here it is.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49- Today weeps

0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Tears fall like the rain

0:16:51 > 0:16:54- Weeping for a tomorrow - Which will never come.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06- My brother went on holiday to India - last year.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11- He fancied a curry, so he went to - a place which claimed to serve...

0:17:11 > 0:17:17- ..the hottest curry in town, no, - the hottest curry in India...

0:17:18 > 0:17:22- ..no, sorry, - the hottest curry in the world.

0:17:23 > 0:17:25- He looked inside...

0:17:25 > 0:17:29- ..and everyone was eating - the hottest curry in the world.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32- People collapsed - because it was too hot.

0:17:33 > 0:17:35- One bloke died!

0:17:36 > 0:17:40- I thought something like this - would be more... fitting.

0:17:43 > 0:17:48- As you drag your body - Wearily in chains

0:17:48 > 0:17:53- And the blisters of brutality - Burst on your feet

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- And as the masters cruelly continue

0:17:59 > 0:18:01- I shall perish

0:18:01 > 0:18:05- In those droplets of your blood.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09- Do you know what, Sioned?

0:18:10 > 0:18:13- I think - you've got something special there.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15- You should use it.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19- I'll never come close - to writing something like that.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25- That's what I was thinking too, - to be brutally honest.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- And I know I can be honest with you.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32- Thank you for admitting it.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36- Only a real man can admit - to being out of his depth.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46- DYLAN PLAYS A COMPUTER GAME

0:18:57 > 0:19:01- The secret of a long career - is to take care of yourself.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05- We do that with protection.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10- Head guard, obviously.

0:19:12 > 0:19:13- Gumshield.

0:19:16 > 0:19:17- Pads. Padding.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22- Every rugby player's secret weapon - is taping and strapping.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24- Use strapping everywhere.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26- Your wrists, your elbows...

0:19:27 > 0:19:30- ..your knees and your ankles.

0:19:30 > 0:19:31- Everywhere.

0:19:31 > 0:19:36- The boys say, "Cams! Cams! - You're going over the top again."

0:19:36 > 0:19:39- I say, "Boys! - You can't be too careful."

0:19:39 > 0:19:43- At the end of the day, - a fit Cameron is important for me...

0:19:43 > 0:19:47- ..it's important to the boys - and it's important to Wales.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01- My brother said to the waiter, - "Come on! Let's have it!"

0:20:01 > 0:20:04- The waiter came - with a plateful of curry.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07- "Not hot enough!" said my brother.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09- "Bring me a hotter one."

0:20:09 > 0:20:10- The waiter did that.

0:20:12 > 0:20:16- "Not hot enough! Bring me - a hotter one," said my brother.

0:20:16 > 0:20:17- He did that.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20- "Not hot enough! - Bring me a hotter one!"

0:20:21 > 0:20:25- The waiter said, "Sorry. We can't - make a hotter curry. Try this."

0:20:26 > 0:20:27- He tried it.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30- "This one's OK," said my brother.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32- Do you know what it was?

0:20:34 > 0:20:35- Lava!

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Lava!

0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Lava! My brother actually ate lava!

0:20:41 > 0:20:42- No way!

0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Yes way.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57- I now know what I was doing wrong.

0:20:57 > 0:20:58- We need more people...

0:20:59 > 0:21:03- ..so our friends and neighbours - are here to join us.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Because of the dynamic - within the group's behaviour...

0:21:10 > 0:21:14- ..the laughter will increase - in volume for no reason.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16- It's pure laughter.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Foot rot - was more of a laugh than this.

0:21:20 > 0:21:21- Are you ready?

0:21:22 > 0:21:24- No humour. No jokes.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27- No childish behaviour.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29- Just pure laughter.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33- I'll begin.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54- JOJO BREAKS WIND

0:21:59 > 0:22:01- LOUD LAUGHTER

0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Keep going. You're fine.

0:22:11 > 0:22:15- You're not taking me anywhere nasty, - are you?

0:22:15 > 0:22:16- No, no! Left a touch.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Alright. Ta.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Straight! Keep going!

0:22:22 > 0:22:23- Keep going!

0:22:53 > 0:22:56- S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones