0:00:00 > 0:00:00- 888
0:00:00 > 0:00:02- 888- - 888
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- 888
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0:00:25 > 0:00:27- 888
0:00:33 > 0:00:38- If I seem tired, - it's because I went out last night.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- I took my wife out.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- I'm very good like that - - I take my wife out every week.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- The problem is - she comes back!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55- When we arrived home, - my wife was in a good mood.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00- She went up to bed. - I thought to myself... you know!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- I wanted to keep things going.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- I took a cup of tea up to her.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- She was shocked - - it had been so long!
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- Does that sound familiar?!
0:01:19 > 0:01:23- "Here's a cup of tea for you," - I said. "And these."
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- "What are they?" she asked. - "Two aspirins," I replied.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- "But I don't have a headache," - she said.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- And I replied, "Yeah!!"
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- How many farmers are here tonight? - I'd say there were a few.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- Yes, I can smell them.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56- Farming has become - a complicated business.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Things aren't as they used to be.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- There's a mountain of paper work!
0:02:01 > 0:02:06- But give the folk from the Ministry - their due - they're very helpful.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- They like to call out - to see what you have.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16- A man from the Ministry arrived - and introduced himself to Dai.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- "I'm here from the Ministry.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23- "I'm conducting a survey to check - your staff are paid a fair wage.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- "How many people work here?"
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- "Three work here," said Dai.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- "Can I talk to them, - and enquire how much they're paid?"
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- "Start at the house," said Dai.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- They entered the house.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46- "That's Mari, standing by - the washing machine," explained Dai.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- "'Her Indoors' I call her," he said. - "She's always indoors."
0:02:53 > 0:02:58- "I pay her 130 a week."
0:02:59 > 0:03:03- "Oh, right. And she lives-in. - Quite reasonable," said the man.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- "Who else is there?" - "Follow me outside," said Dai.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- They went to the milking parlour.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- "That's Fred over there.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- "Fred is standing next to the calf.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- "No - Fred's on the left.
0:03:35 > 0:03:41- "Fred does all the work with - the cattle, the feeding and milking.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46- "I pay him 200 a week." "200? - Oh, very good," said the inspector.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- "What about the other one?"
0:03:50 > 0:03:55- "He's a bit of an idiot," said Dai. - "He's rather soft in the head.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01- "He does all the donkey jobs. - I pay him about 25 a week."
0:04:02 > 0:04:06- "25?!" "Yes." - "Well, I'd like a word with him."
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- "Well," said Dai. - "You're talking to him."
0:04:11 > 0:04:12- Thank you!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- Taid's a bloomin' nuisance.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- I lost him for two days last week.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- I found him in Betws-y-coed.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- "What are you doing here?" I asked.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- He replied, - "Looking for the Viagra Falls."
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- He practises safe sex.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- He got the carpenter - to build a handrail around the bed.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52- Taid was very confused, after - the doctor gave him some tablets.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56- He was confused - because on the bottle it said...
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- .."Take off cap and push up bottom."
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Taid couldn't understand - why he had to take off his cap.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- He went to the doctor - since he had a sore throat.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- The doctor said, "Don't eat for ten - days." "What can I do?" asked Taid.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21- The doctor said, - "Feed yourself through your bottom."
0:05:22 > 0:05:26- Taid asked, "What food can I eat?" - The doctor replied, "Whatever fits."
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Taid said, "I like toast - for breakfast." "Slice it, then..."
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- Ten days later, Taid returned to - the doctor. "Good morning," he said.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- The doctor said, - "Good morning. How are you?"
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- "I'm champion," said Taid.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- "Why are you walking around - like that, then?" asked the doctor.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Taid replied, - "I'm chewing treacle toffee."
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- Any teachers here tonight? - Are there?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Aye!
0:06:04 > 0:06:05- Aye!- - Aye!
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- You used to ask daft questions! - Maybe you still do.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- "Fifteen apples in one hand, twenty - in the other, what have I got?"
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- "Big hands," I replied.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- We used to have stupid - exam questions in school, too.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- I've noted a few. - Listen to these examples.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- "Who was born in a stable, - and had thousands of followers?"
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- "Red Rum," I replied.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- Chemistry now - what a question! - I'm sure I was right.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- "What liquid doesn't freeze?"
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- "Hot water," I replied.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- "Why does a hen lay an egg?" "If - it went the other way, it'd choke."
0:06:53 > 0:06:55- "Where are the Gorsedd rocks?"
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- "Between their legs!"
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Makes sense.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- "What do you call someone who speaks - three languages?" "Trilingual."
0:07:12 > 0:07:16- "What do you call someone who speaks - two languages?" "Bilingual."
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- "What do you call someone who speaks - one language?" "An Englishman."
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- # It's good, isn't it?
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- # Grand, isn't it? Great, isn't it?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- # Swell, isn't it?
0:07:45 > 0:07:49- # Fun, isn't it?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- # Nowadays.
0:07:55 > 0:07:59- # There are men everywhere
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- # Jazz, everywhere
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- # Booze, everywhere!
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- # Life, everywhere. Joy everywhere.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- # Nowadays.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- # You can like the life - you're living.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21- # You can live the life you like.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26- # You can even marry Harry
0:08:26 > 0:08:30- # But mess around with Hank.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34- # And that's good, isn't it?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- # Grand isn't it? Great isn't it?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- # Swell, isn't it? Fun, isn't it?
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- # But nothing stays.
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- # You can like the life - you're living.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- # You can live the life you like.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- # You can even marry Harry
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- # But mess around with Hank.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- # And that's good, isn't it?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- # Grand, isn't it? Great, isn't it?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- # Swell, isn't it?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- # Fun, isn't it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- # But nothing stays.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- # In fifty years, or so
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- # It's gonna change, you know.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- # But, oh!
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- # It's heaven!
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- # And all that -
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- # Jazz! #
0:11:15 > 0:11:19- # I love
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- # Jazz! #
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- 888
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Thomas John and Ifan - bought an aeroplane.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- A 1919 Zeppelin from WW1.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- They wanted to parachute jump - over the Black Mountains.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- As they flew over the - Black Mountains, the pilot said...
0:12:06 > 0:12:11- "..When the green light comes on, - put on the parachute and jump out.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- "The parachutes - are as old as the 'plane.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- "They're not guaranteed to open.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23- "Don't pull the cord 'til - you're 10 feet from the ground."
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- "What if the cord doesn't open?" - "Surely you can jump 10 feet!"
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Mrs Jones went to see her doctor.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- "I'm pregnant," she said. - "Mrs Jones, this is your twelfth!
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- "I've told you, - you'll die if you have another one.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- "This is the twelfth."
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- "I know," she said. "You must - use contraceptives," he continued.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- "One more will be the end of you."
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- "A hearing aid will do," she said.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07- "What d'you mean, hearing aid?" - "I'm a bit deaf," she explained.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- "When I go to bed, my husband asks, - 'Are you going to sleep or what?'
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- "And I reply, 'What?'"
0:13:22 > 0:13:24- The vet got a call one night.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- "Hello! Vet?"
0:13:28 > 0:13:33- "Yes," he replied. - "This is Mrs Jones. Come quickly!"
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- "What's the matter?" - "The dog has swallowed a condom."
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- "Well, well," said the vet. - "I'll get there as soon as I can."
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- "Hurry! You must come now," - said Mrs Jones.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- The vet said, "I will. - Just keep the dog still.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53- "Don't let it waggle its tail." - "OK," she replied.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- "Come as quickly as you can." - "I will," said the vet.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- He put the phone down. - Two minutes later, it rang again.
0:14:01 > 0:14:06- "Hello! Vet? Mrs Jones here. - You don't have to come.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- "We've found another one - in the drawer."
0:14:17 > 0:14:19- Hello, hello!
0:14:19 > 0:14:24- Evita Morgan, from Patagonia. It's - good to be in Caernarfon tonight.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Why am I here? Well, I work - part-time for Radio Patagonia.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- I'm here to interview - north Wales celebrities.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38- But I must admit, - there's another reason why I'm here.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- Because you see, - I'm also looking for a husband.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48- Here in Caernarfon, the men - are graceful, and act like princes.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- They're all handsome.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Each one is a poet.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- The first thing I did - was look for somewhere to stay.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- A man approached me. - "Tried The Prince of Wales, love?"
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- "No! I thought - he was already married," I replied.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- I started to look for a husband - at first light.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- I put an advert - in The Daily Post and Herald.
0:15:18 > 0:15:24- 'Exotic woman seeks Caernarfon lad - for long nights on the prairie.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- 'A bilingual woman - - Welsh and Spanish.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- 'She can't speak a word of English.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34- 'She knows how to pull a calf.'
0:15:37 > 0:15:41- Forgive me for wanting to capture - one man's heart in particular.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43- His name?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- Bryn Fon, my hero!
0:15:50 > 0:15:55- I managed to get his number from - an old friend and hero, Dafydd Iwan!
0:15:56 > 0:16:02- I understood I could interview him - between the Noson Lawen rehearsals.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08- Wearing my favourite cardigan, - I stared at myself in the mirror.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09- Perfect!
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- Off I went to the Noson Lawen. - But when I arrived...
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- ..you'll never believe - what happened.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23- "Where's Bryn Fon?" - I asked the receptionist.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- The man behind - the counter stared at me.
0:16:27 > 0:16:31- "Where d'you come from?" he asked. - "From the south?"
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- "Yes, yes, from South America, - Patagonia!"
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- "Oh, Lord. Do they come - from there looking for him now?!
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- "Don't throw any more knickers - over the gate," he continued.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46- "It's Nicaragua here already."
0:16:48 > 0:16:52- Without any help, - I wandered backstage.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57- I discovered a room - - and the door was open.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- The light was on.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- As I entered the room, I saw him!
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- That's where he was!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- Bryn Fon.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- His eyes were closed - as he lay on a three-piece suite.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- He was dead.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- What was I going to do? - I had no time to think.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- A-ha! I jumped on top of him.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- I massaged his chest, - and blew into his mouth.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33- As I was doing this, Bryn woke up.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- "What the hell d'you think - you're doing?" he asked.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- I'll never forget what he did next. - He started to sing.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- # I remember your face,
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- # Looking back at me.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- # Your eyes looking into my eyes.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- # My hand on your shoulder... #
0:18:01 > 0:18:05- "My other hand looking frantically - for my mobile to phone Security."
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- They started to drag me, - feet first, out of the room.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- I shouted, "No, Bryn, no! - You've misunderstood!"
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- But it was too late. The last thing - I remember was Bryn saying...
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- "..Damned stalker! Damned stalker!"
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- Before coming on stage, - I was sobbing.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32- Caernarfon Male Voice choir - smiled at me, trying to comfort me.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34- Dafydd John in particular.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- I felt like a dead hedgehog, - after the way Bryn treated me.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Prickly and all squashed.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- One minute, - Bryn was giving me the c'mon...
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- ..the next, he didn't want to know.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02- I think I'll go back to Patagonia.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- Perhaps the men aren't poets...
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- ..but at least - they know how to pull a calf.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- I came here for Mr Fon.
0:19:14 > 0:19:20- I found him sadly lacking. - Goodbye friends, goodbye Caernarfon!
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- # Who are we?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- # What are we doing here?
0:19:52 > 0:19:56- # Who knows the answers?
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- # Proud Welsh.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- # The Third World right here
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- # Waiting for Armageddon.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15- # Running away
0:20:17 > 0:20:21- # Running away - from the world's worries.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- # In the beginning, - there was the word
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- # In the beginning - there was nothing.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- # And after nothing, sweet FA
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- # And after that, nothing.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- # And after that, nothing.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44- # Who are they?
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- # What are they doing here?
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- # What happens in an assembly?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- # Red leeks
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- # For a white rose, right here
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- # Pretending - to be a government house.
0:21:11 > 0:21:12- # Running away
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- # Running away - from the world's worries.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22- # In the beginning, - there was the word
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- # In the beginning - there was nothing.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- # And after nothing, sweet FA
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- # And after that, nothing.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36- # And after that, nothing.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44- # Is there anyone - who'll stand for our country?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- # Is there a hero in the land?
0:21:53 > 0:21:58- # Are the matches damp, - or is the flame still burning?
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- # Owain, where are your sons? - They're needed here.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- # In the beginning, - there was the word
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- # In the beginning - there was nothing.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- # And after nothing, sweet FA
0:22:24 > 0:22:28- # And after that, nothing.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- # In the beginning, - there was the word
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- # In the beginning - there was nothing.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- # And after nothing, sweet FA
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- # And after that, nothing.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- # And after that, nothing.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51- # Ah-ah-ah.
0:22:55 > 0:23:01- # Ah-ah-ah. #
0:23:06 > 0:23:08- S4C Subtitles by GWEAD