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0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Thanks to 'Traed Dan Bwrdd' - for the jolly opening song.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- Welcome to Maes Machreth farm, - Glantwymyn.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- How are you all?
0:03:47 > 0:03:51- Or as Montgomery folk would say...
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- .."How are you, old cock?"
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- It's good to see so many children.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- When the phone rings, - do you run to answer?
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- It's a natural reaction.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- But it can cause problems.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- A friend of mine sells insurance - from home. He rang a household...
0:04:11 > 0:04:17- ..and a very young boy - answered in a whisper.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- Here's what was said.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- "Hello, son. Is your father there?" - "Yes."
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- "Can I talk to him?" - "No, he's busy."
0:04:29 > 0:04:30- "Oh."
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- "Is your mother there? - "Yes."
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- "Can I talk to her?" - "No, she's busy too."
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- "Is there anyone else home?" - "Yes."
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- "Who?" - "Firemen."
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- "Can I talk to one of them?"
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- "No, they're busy too."
0:04:56 > 0:05:01- "I see. Is there anyone else there?" - "Yes." "Who?" "Policemen."
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- "Policemen?" "Yes." - "Can I talk to one of them?"
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- "No, they're very busy."
0:05:10 > 0:05:15- "What are they all doing?" - "Looking for me."
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Some people are filthy rich.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Did you hear about - the fabulously wealthy Lord?
0:05:32 > 0:05:37- On his deathbed, - he summoned his lawyer.
0:05:38 > 0:05:43- The lawyer was told to gather - the servants downstairs.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49- "Can you ask Mary, the housekeeper, - to come up?"
0:05:50 > 0:05:55- Mary was called. "He wants to see - Mary," they whispered.
0:05:55 > 0:05:59- Mary tidied herself up - and walked upstairs.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05- "Mary," said his Lordship. "You've - been with the family for 50 years.
0:06:06 > 0:06:12- "And your mother before you. - I'm leaving you Carnegie Hall.
0:06:12 > 0:06:19- "200 rooms and 5,000 acres." - "Thank you, Sir," she replied.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- "Can you send up Gwen, the maid?" - "Of course."
0:06:24 > 0:06:28- She hurried down to tell the others. - "He wants to see you now, Gwen."
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Gwen ran upstairs.
0:06:31 > 0:06:36- "You've been with the family - for 25 years.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41- "You've been a good, loyal maid. - I'm leaving you Raggat Hall.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- "100 rooms and 500 acres."
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- "Thank you, Sir."
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- "Send John, the gardener up."
0:06:52 > 0:06:55- "John," she said. "It's your turn!"
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- John walked upstairs - in his wellingtons.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04- He stood at the bottom of the bed. - "Here I am, Sir." "John...
0:07:04 > 0:07:10- ..you've only been the gardener - here for two weeks.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- "The flowers have all died.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17- "Apples have fallen from the trees.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- "We haven't any fruit - and the greenhouses are in ruins.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- "So you're getting sod all!"
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- "Thank you. How many rooms?"
0:07:40 > 0:07:44- It's my pleasure to introduce - a young singer from Llanerfyl.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- She's only fifteen years old...
0:07:48 > 0:07:53- ..and already she's making her mark - on concert and Eisteddfod stages.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Please welcome, Catrin Evans.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Thank you.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16- This is a translation - of 'Love changes everything'.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Can I ask some of you women...
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- ..which washing powder - gives you the best results?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Your husband looks good. - His shirt isn't bad either.
0:12:24 > 0:12:30- Have you heard about - a new powder called 'Flash'?
0:12:30 > 0:12:34- Haven't you seen the advert, - 'Whatever the stain, beer or nosh...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- ..wash in Flash?'
0:12:40 > 0:12:44- I could say my neighbour sells it - but I can't - he's in the choir!
0:12:47 > 0:12:49- A bloke from Bala...
0:12:50 > 0:12:55- ..I think the coast is clear, - tried his hand selling Flash.
0:12:56 > 0:13:01- Armed with a sample and bucket, - he knocked on a housewife's door.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- "I'm here to demonstrate Flash - washing powder.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- "Bring me the dirtiest item - from your laundry basket."
0:13:10 > 0:13:14- Her husband worked in a garage, - so she brought his filthy overalls.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17- He plunged them into the water.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- He lifted them to his nose. - What a sweet smell!
0:13:22 > 0:13:23- Clean...
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- ..in a flash!
0:13:26 > 0:13:30- "What about something else? - Anything, as long as it's dirty."
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- "The kids' football kits?" - "Fine."
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- After a wash, - they smelt wonderful too.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Clean, like your husband. - His shirt, that is!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- "Have you got anything else?"
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- "This is a bit embarrassing," - she said.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- "I've got a pair of old bloomers.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- "They've been here many months." - "Bring them."
0:14:02 > 0:14:08- He put the bloomers into the water, - to his nose and back in the water.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- If you went to Bala Eisteddfod...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- ..I'm sure you enjoyed - Meirion youth choir.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30- Their show, 'Er Mwyn Yfory', - was about The Tithe War.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36- They say two pictures still exist - of men who took part in the battle.
0:14:36 > 0:14:42- In one of them, they all wore hats. - This song poses the question...
0:14:42 > 0:14:46- ..'How did the photographer - take these two pictures?'
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- Please welcome, Geraint Roberts - and Meirion youth choir to sing...
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- ..'Sefwch yn llonydd'.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05-
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- It's every woman's nightmare - to turn up at a party...
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- ..and find someone - wearing the same frock.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21- There's a couple here tonight!
0:19:24 > 0:19:25- And loads over there!
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- People are the same - about their pets.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34- A man walked into a Machynlleth cafe - with a small black dog.
0:19:36 > 0:19:42- Another bloke approached him. - "My dog is exactly like yours."
0:19:43 > 0:19:47- "That's impossible. This dog's - got a white spot on his tail."
0:19:48 > 0:19:54- "Mine has a white spot on his tail." - "He's got a white spot on his chin."
0:19:54 > 0:19:55- "And mine."
0:19:57 > 0:20:02- "You can't have a dog like this one, - because every morning at eight...
0:20:03 > 0:20:07- ..this dog opens my bedroom door - and comes into my bed.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12- "He licks my face, wakes me - and fetches the paper.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- "He trots into the kitchen - to prepare toast and a boiled egg.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- "He brings my breakfast - to bed on a tray."
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- "How incredible!" said the other.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- "At eight o'clock every morning...
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- ..my dog comes to my room, into bed, - licks my face, wakes me up...
0:20:36 > 0:20:41- ..fetches the paper, prepares - breakfast and brings it to my bed.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43- "Then he stands on his head."
0:20:44 > 0:20:50- "Why does he stand on his head?" - "He always forgets the eggcup."
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- This next artist - needs no introduction.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08- She's one of Montgomeryshire's - brightest stars.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- She's an actress and singer. - Please welcome, Sian James.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26- Thank you.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32- 'Mi fum yn gweini tymor' - is a cheerful folk song...
0:21:33 > 0:21:37- ..from the collection by - Phyllis Kinney and Meredydd Evans.
0:25:20 > 0:25:25- I've loved jazz and blues - since I was a young girl.
0:25:26 > 0:25:32- This was sung by Bessie Smith - in the first half of the century.
0:25:32 > 0:25:38- Meirion McIntyre Huws translated it - for me. 'Pam na wnei di'n iawn?'
0:28:53 > 0:28:57- Looking around me, - I've noticed some important people.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01- There's a councillor or two here!
0:29:01 > 0:29:05- I've heard Powys - has a very good council.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10- Whatever the problem, - someone can fix it.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15- A Machynlleth bloke - woke up one morning.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19- As he looked out - of his bedroom window...
0:29:20 > 0:29:23- ..he noticed a gorilla - in his apple tree.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26- The biggest gorilla he'd ever seen!
0:29:27 > 0:29:33- He phoned Powys Council. "We'll send - someone over straight away."
0:29:33 > 0:29:37- Within minutes, - the gorilla-catcher had arrived.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39- I said the council had everything!
0:29:40 > 0:29:45- He came out of his van - with a small terrier dog...
0:29:46 > 0:29:48- ..handcuffs and a shotgun.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52- He turned to the man.
0:29:53 > 0:29:59- "Hold the handcuffs, dog and gun. - I'll go up," he said.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- "What's going to happen?"
0:30:04 > 0:30:06- "I'm going up there.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11- "I'll shake the tree and the gorilla - will fall to the floor.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15- "When he lands, - the dog will jump for its !!!...
0:30:19 > 0:30:23- ..and when his hands are like this, - put the handcuffs on.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- "Then we'll put him in the van.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30- "There's nothing to worry about." - He started to climb the tree.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34- "Hold on! - What do I do with the gun?"
0:30:35 > 0:30:39- "If I fall first, - shoot the blooming dog."
0:30:48 > 0:30:52- I don't know whether - we're lucky or unlucky tonight.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57- A world famous opera singer - has flown here tonight...
0:30:57 > 0:31:02- ..in her private helicopter, - from Sydney Opera House.
0:31:02 > 0:31:08- Please welcome, the world famous - Madam Mad Elina!
0:31:40 > 0:31:42- # Out of tune
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- # Yes, I'm deaf as a post
0:31:48 > 0:31:52- # In the Eisteddfod in Rhyl - I was top of the bill
0:31:54 > 0:31:57- # They laughed - until they were sick
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- # Out of tune
0:32:03 > 0:32:06- # Sometimes I howl like a dog
0:32:08 > 0:32:12- # On the prom in Llandudno, - down by the sea...
0:32:13 > 0:32:18- ..I had reached the climax, - the ninth encore
0:32:20 > 0:32:24- # But what came on the stage, - but two...
0:32:26 > 0:32:27- ..Labradors
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- # I was out of tune
0:32:49 > 0:32:52- # My technique is perfect
0:33:15 > 0:33:17- # I hit every note
0:33:18 > 0:33:22- # My mouth has been painted - in oil by Kyffin
0:33:23 > 0:33:30- # The musical judges praise my - singing, passion and carriage...
0:33:31 > 0:33:34- ..and the way that I phrase
0:33:36 > 0:33:40- # Bryn Terfel - is a life-long fan
0:33:47 > 0:33:50- # Even so, something is wrong
0:33:56 > 0:33:58- # Out of tune
0:34:00 > 0:34:02- # Especially in modern pieces
0:34:03 > 0:34:07- # It doesn't matter - that some notes are right...
0:34:07 > 0:34:11- # ..and others sound - like a baboon's screams
0:34:13 > 0:34:15- # Out of tune
0:34:16 > 0:34:19- # I sing my way round the world
0:34:20 > 0:34:24- # The Sydney Opera - is a very big place
0:34:25 > 0:34:31- # And the Met and La Scala - - but honestly now...
0:34:32 > 0:34:38- ..I'd rather sing to Merched y Wawr.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47- # Merched y Wawr
0:34:52 > 0:34:55- # But I'm out of tune
0:34:58 > 0:35:00- # I'm out of tune #
0:35:28 > 0:35:30-
0:35:34 > 0:35:39- I've got to know these people - in the front quite well...
0:35:40 > 0:35:44- ..a couple here, the fellow over - there. Does your husband snore?
0:35:45 > 0:35:49- Hands up if your husband snores. - It's terrible, isn't it?
0:35:49 > 0:35:51- The wife's the culprit here!
0:35:54 > 0:35:55- It's awful.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- When they pause, - you think they've died!
0:36:02 > 0:36:06- The problem affected - neighbours of mine badly.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10- The newly married wife - was having a hard time.
0:36:11 > 0:36:15- He drank heavily. Drunk people - are the worst offenders!
0:36:16 > 0:36:20- Every street - has its very own know-it-all.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23- They always offer words of wisdom.
0:36:23 > 0:36:29- "When my children were young - and they hiccuped at night...
0:36:29 > 0:36:31- ..I'd pull down their nappies...
0:36:31 > 0:36:35- ..and put a red bow - on their bellies.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39- "It worked a treat!"
0:36:40 > 0:36:44- "I'll try anything - for a good night's sleep," she said.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- Her husband returned - from his nightly jaunt to the pub.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- His snoring was unbearable. - She was livid!
0:36:52 > 0:36:54- Then she remembered what to do.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59- She pulled down his pyjamas - and plonked a red bow...
0:37:01 > 0:37:03- ..on his belly.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09- At least the choir's - got imagination!
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- The bow on his belly didn't work.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15- She made a new bow - from blue material.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18- In the morning, she was furious.
0:37:18 > 0:37:22- "Where were you last night? You were - so drunk, you disturbed everyone!"
0:37:22 > 0:37:24- He pulled down the bedclothes.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- "No idea - but I won first and second prize."
0:37:37 > 0:37:38- Thank you...
0:37:39 > 0:37:40- ..you're too kind!
0:37:43 > 0:37:49- These lads from the Dovey valley - have sung together for four years.
0:37:49 > 0:37:53- Peter, Aled and Owain are - accompanied by Nia Wyn Williams...
0:37:54 > 0:37:57- ..or Nia Ty Pellaf, - as she calls herself.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- You've heard them once already. - Please welcome, Traed Dan Bwrdd.
0:38:15 > 0:38:16- Thank you.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20- I'm sure you've all suffered from - the effects of the night before.
0:38:22 > 0:38:27- This song repeats what - we've all said from time to time...
0:38:27 > 0:38:29- .."I promise - never again!"
0:41:51 > 0:41:54- Here's another story - about your council.
0:41:54 > 0:41:59- The Social Services Director - had taken your MP, Mr Opik...
0:41:59 > 0:42:01- ..on a tour of old people's homes.
0:42:02 > 0:42:07- One character, Wil, - had been in the home for years.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09- They walked up the driveway.
0:42:10 > 0:42:14- The Director asked, - "How are you, Wil?" "Fine thanks."
0:42:15 > 0:42:17- "This is Mr Opik.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22- "He's the MP." - "Don't worry," said Wil.
0:42:23 > 0:42:26- "I thought I was Nelson - when I first came here."
0:42:28 > 0:42:35- I broke the journey - in Cemaes on my way here.
0:42:36 > 0:42:39- Have you seen the smart Cemaes cafe?
0:42:39 > 0:42:43- It's a brilliant cafe. - What's so funny?
0:42:44 > 0:42:49- It's lovely. I ordered a cup of tea. - It was a plush place.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53- I struck up a conversation. - "This is a smart cafe."
0:42:54 > 0:42:58- "You wouldn't have said so two weeks - ago. It was a dreadful place."
0:42:58 > 0:43:01- He explained what had happened.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03- It used to be dirty and shabby.
0:43:03 > 0:43:07- An Environment Health inspector - had called by.
0:43:08 > 0:43:09- He came incognito.
0:43:10 > 0:43:14- He sat down - and ordered a coffee.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16- The mug was cracked and dirty.
0:43:18 > 0:43:24- A cream slice was handed to him - by the owner's grubby fingers.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28- His feet stuck to the floor.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31- That's the type of place it was.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35- The inspector revealed his identity.
0:43:35 > 0:43:39- "I'll give you a week to improve - or I'll close this place down."
0:43:39 > 0:43:44- A week later - - the cafe was transformed.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48- Deep pile carpets had been fitted - and the walls had been tiled.
0:43:49 > 0:43:56- The owner wore a tail coat, - a bow tie and a crisp white shirt.
0:43:57 > 0:44:02- He walked up to the counter and was - given tea in a delicate china cup.
0:44:03 > 0:44:07- The cakes were stored - under a sophisticated glass dome.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14- Tongs were used to serve cakes. - Hygienic!
0:44:15 > 0:44:17- You've never seen anything like it!
0:44:17 > 0:44:22- "I've never seen such a dramatic - transformation," said the inspector.
0:44:23 > 0:44:28- "Congratulations. You also look - exceptionally smart and clean.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30- "I don't want to embarrass you...
0:44:31 > 0:44:35- ..but there's a length of chord - hanging from your flies."
0:44:35 > 0:44:37- "Yes," he replied, "hygiene."
0:44:48 > 0:44:50- I'll take you with me everywhere!
0:44:52 > 0:44:54- "Hygiene." - "What do you mean?"
0:44:54 > 0:44:56- "When I go the toilet...
0:44:58 > 0:45:00- ..untouched by human hands."
0:45:02 > 0:45:06- "Congratulations. - I've never seen that before.
0:45:07 > 0:45:11- "What happens when you've finished?" - "I use the tongs."
0:45:22 > 0:45:24- Unfortunately, - the evening is nearly over.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27- You've already heard them tonight.
0:45:27 > 0:45:32- Please welcome, Cor Meirion and - their accompanist, Linda Gittins.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40- Subtitles by- CYMEN