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0:03:07 > 0:03:13- Good evening and a warm welcome - to Barcud studios, Caernarfon.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- What better way - to start a memorable evening...
0:03:17 > 0:03:22- ..than with Dyffryn Peris choir, - singing of their beloved valley?
0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Accompanied by Hefina Jones, - their conductor is Arwel Jones.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- I was called in at short notice - to present tonight.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45- It should have been Dai Jones, - Llanilar.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- But he was involved in an accident - as he thumbed a lift here.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- A steamroller went over him - in Bontnewydd.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02- You can send him a card - to Ysbyty Gwynedd...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- ..wards 7, 8 and 9.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- I overheard someone - talking about me.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- "He's looking good these days. - What a transformation!"
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- I have shaved.
0:04:25 > 0:04:32- My beard was so bushy, I had - to kiss my wife through a straw.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- I've been on two separate diets - recommended by Woman's Weekly.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48- I had to take castor oil, cod liver - oil, engine oil and gearbox oil.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- I haven't lost a pound - but I've stopped screeching.
0:04:57 > 0:05:02- The other was a baked beans - and garlic diet...
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- ..for three months.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09- I lost ten friends.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- My first wife - boy was she ugly!
0:05:19 > 0:05:24- The poor cow was so plain, - a peeping Tom rang one night.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- He asked her to close the curtains.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39- She washed her bloomers last year - and hung them out to dry.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- That's where Llangwm Eisteddfod - was held.
0:05:54 > 0:06:00- This young girl is making a name - for herself as a singer and harpist.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05- She recently performed - in the Netherlands.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- But she's here tonight with us - in Caernarfon.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11- Please welcome, Manon Llwyd.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- Thank you for the welcome.
0:06:28 > 0:06:34- This is a tribute to a Caernarfon - character, 'Bob yr Herald'.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- I composed the music - to Eurig Wyn's lyrics.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42- With Owen on the double bass, - here's 'Pwy sy' am rewi y dagrau?'
0:11:04 > 0:11:05- Manon Llwyd!
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- My second wife...
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- ..was grossly fat.
0:11:19 > 0:11:25- She was so fat, she was taller - lying down than standing up.
0:11:26 > 0:11:32- On our wedding day, - I carried her over the threshold.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- I had a kiss...
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- ..a cuddle...
0:11:39 > 0:11:40- ..and a hernia.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- On our wedding night, I said, - "Darling...
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- "I'd swim the deepest river...
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- "I'd cross the widest desert...
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- "I'd climb the highest mountain...
0:12:03 > 0:12:04- ..for you."
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- She divorced me. I was never home.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- William Hughes - went to see his doctor.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- William Hughes was 83 years old.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23- Eighty three!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- He told the doctor, - "I'd like some advice.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- "I'm marrying Cheryl next Saturday.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- "Cheryl is twenty years old."
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- "Good grief!" said the doctor.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43- "We're in love - and want to start a family."
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- "Well," said the doctor. "You're 83.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51- "That's quite a dangerous age.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57- "You must consider your heart. - No excitement. Take things easy.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- "I suggest you take on a lodger."
0:13:04 > 0:13:06- "Fine, thanks Doctor."
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Six months later, - the doctor met William in town.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17- He was grinning like a Cheshire cat. - "Thank you, Doctor," he said.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- "Cheryl is pregnant.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- "And thanks for the advice - about a lodger.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- "She's pregnant too."
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- A poet.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41- Composer.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- A character...
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- ..and musician.
0:13:48 > 0:13:54- His songs have a message to - every establishment. No-one's safe.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Looking after him tonight - is Owen Owens.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Who else but Geraint Lovgreen?
0:14:16 > 0:14:17- Thank you.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- This song is about country music.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- I really like country music...
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- ..because no matter how sad you are, - someone's always sadder.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Here's 'Canu Gwlad'.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46- # My childhood was a lonely one, - full of sadness and pain
0:14:46 > 0:14:49- # My life has been one long - catastrophe
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- # I didn't have any sisters, - my only brother ran away...
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- # ..my only friend in the world - was Shep the dog
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- # Mam choked to death on a chip - butty, when I was four years old
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- # Leaving only Shep - and me and Dad
0:15:13 > 0:15:17- # Dad died of a broken heart - within a matter of weeks
0:15:18 > 0:15:21- # That's when I discovered - country songs
0:15:23 > 0:15:24- # Country songs
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- # There's nothing like it - under the sun
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- # Country songs
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- # Show the whole world - how it's done
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- # Country songs make all - the sadness seem worthwhile
0:15:39 > 0:15:40- # Country songs
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- # When I want to cry out loud
0:15:44 > 0:15:45- # Country songs
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- # Tears fall like rain drops - from a cloud
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- # Country songs - let you suffer in style
0:15:57 > 0:16:02- # All through my adolescence, - I lived on my own
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- # With no-one - but Shep to share the pain
0:16:08 > 0:16:12- # When I reached adulthood, - my only friend was shot
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- # He'd been caught - chasing a newborn lamb
0:16:18 > 0:16:23- # But I found myself a girlfriend, - whom I married one summer's day
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- # She died after being hit - by a car
0:16:29 > 0:16:33- # I was on my own again, - without a friend in the world
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- # But everything's OK - when I pick up my guitar
0:16:39 > 0:16:40- # Country songs
0:16:41 > 0:16:45- # There's nothing like it - under the sun. Country songs
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- # Show the whole world - how it's done
0:16:49 > 0:16:53- # Country songs make all - the suffering seem worthwhile
0:16:54 > 0:16:55- # Country songs
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- # When I want to cry out loud
0:16:59 > 0:17:00- # Country songs
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- # Tears fall like rain drops - from a cloud
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- # Country songs - let you suffer in style
0:17:15 > 0:17:19- # Tonight, on the railway track, - as I gaze up at the moon
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- # I'm waiting for a train - within the hour
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- # But now as dawn is breaking, - there's still no sign of a train
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- # Apparently, - there's a delay in Penmaenmawr
0:17:36 > 0:17:40- # I might as well get up and go, - to my lonely little bungalow...
0:17:41 > 0:17:44- # ..to drink another bottle - of Jim Beam
0:17:46 > 0:17:50- # And here I sit alone again, - in the kitchen, with the radio on
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- # Just me, John & Alun and Doreen
0:17:56 > 0:17:57- # Country songs
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- # There's nothing like it - under the sun
0:18:01 > 0:18:02- # Country songs
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- # They show the whole world - how it's done
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- # Country songs - make the suffering worthwhile
0:18:11 > 0:18:12- # Country songs
0:18:13 > 0:18:15- # When I want to cry out loud
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- # Country songs. Tears fall - like rain drops from a cloud
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- # Country songs - let you suffer in style
0:18:26 > 0:18:29- # Country songs - let you suffer in style
0:18:51 > 0:18:53-
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- Thank you, Dafydd Wyn Williams - and Deiniolen Band!
0:22:41 > 0:22:43- A bloke went to his doctor.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47- He walked into surgery. "Come in," - said the doctor. "What's wrong?"
0:22:55 > 0:22:57- He was an experienced doctor.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- He'd been around. - "Pardon?" he asked.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- "Listen," he said, - handing him some paper.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- "Write down what's wrong with you."
0:23:22 > 0:23:24- 'Dear Doctor.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30- 'Nobody can understand me speak.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- 'Can you do something, please?'
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- "No problem," he replied. - "Say no more."
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- That isn't the joke!
0:23:43 > 0:23:45- "Say no more.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47- "Take off your trousers.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- "I'm a doctor. Trust me.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- "Take off your trousers - and underpants.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- "Take off your trousers - and underpants and bend over.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- "Do what I say. - I've been a doctor for years."
0:24:33 > 0:24:38- The bloke bent over, - in front of the doctor.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- The doctor delved into his bag.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- He took out a poker.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50- About this big.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- "I don't quite know how to do this."
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- The doctor took aim with the poker.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- "Ah!" he shouted. - "Well done," said the doctor.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13- "Tomorrow we'll do B."
0:25:31 > 0:25:35- They say it's hard - for farmers today.
0:25:37 > 0:25:42- But this next poor creature - is having a particularly bad time.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44- Please welcome him.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- How is it? - There's a full house tonight.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- The Royal Welsh - brought in the crowds too.
0:26:12 > 0:26:17- I won last year's Denbigh and Flint - Show, with a Suffolk cockerel.
0:26:18 > 0:26:24- I decided to compete in - the Royal Welsh to see how I'd fare.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29- I'd been tending - the cockerel for weeks.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34- I'd been meticulous. Shoe polish - made his feathers shine.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Lipstick made his comb redder.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41- And a box of Paxo on the shelf - made him sweat a bit.
0:26:46 > 0:26:50- He's been with us - since he was a chick.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- If he'd hatched five minutes later, - I would have poached him.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- He's named - on the pedigree form as...
0:27:00 > 0:27:05- ..Sir Emlyn Watkin Goldielandie - of Argyllshire.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- 'Cock of the north' we call him.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14- Idris wanted to accompany me - to Builth Wells.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Leaving on a Sunday - didn't go down well with Mother.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24- She didn't want us to travel on the - Sabbath. That's how she was raised.
0:27:25 > 0:27:30- She confiscates the budgie's swing - on Sunday in case it enjoys itself.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- We borrowed a caravan - to go to the Show.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45- The static caravan - wasn't static for long.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49- I gave it 2 axles - and 4 wheelbarrow wheels.
0:27:49 > 0:27:55- But they weren't any old wheels. - These were H-spoked alloys...
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- ..with lockable wheel nuts - on every one.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- The caravan was a 'longer load' - than we'd bargained for.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06- We had a near miss at Dolgellau.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10- It's not easy emerging from the - Brithdir junction pulling a caravan.
0:28:11 > 0:28:16- A car coming from Dinas Mawddwy - missed us by inches.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21- He hit the awning - - and the portaloo at the rear.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30- The car was driven - by people from Switzerland.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33- These visitors!
0:28:33 > 0:28:36- The Swiss are meant to be pacifists.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39- This one wasn't!
0:28:39 > 0:28:43- He chased us - until we stopped at Cross Foxes.
0:28:43 > 0:28:47- As he walked towards us, - I tried making a run for it.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50- He wouldn't let go of my trousers.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55- He took a Swiss army knife out.
0:28:55 > 0:28:59- I feared for my life. - He was livid - road rage.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- He stabbed me with a spanner - for five minutes.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07- We finally reached Builth Wells.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11- We parked - and headed for the poultry section.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14- A lady registrar was in attendance.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19- I walked over. - "I've come to show my cockerel."
0:29:20 > 0:29:22- "Let's have a look at it then."
0:29:23 > 0:29:27- I pulled the cockerel from the sack. - "It's a big one isn't it?" she said.
0:29:28 > 0:29:32- "Yes," I said. - "But it's not quite fully grown".
0:29:32 > 0:29:36- "Where do you want it?" - "Around the back."
0:29:39 > 0:29:44- I put the cockerel down - whilst I filled the form.
0:29:44 > 0:29:49- A devil on a quad bike ran over it - and killed it. It upset me.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54- He was a competitor from Hereford. - I suspect he did it on purpose.
0:29:55 > 0:29:59- I was distraught. I walked - into some trees to cry on my own.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02- Such was my grief!
0:30:02 > 0:30:04- My world collapsed. - But as Dad says...
0:30:05 > 0:30:08- "There's a subsidy cheque - at the end of every tunnel".
0:30:13 > 0:30:17- There I was, crying alone, - when I heard an angelic voice.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20- "Alright, my lover?"
0:30:21 > 0:30:25- The most beautiful creature who'd - ever walked the planet stood there.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26- Heaven!
0:30:27 > 0:30:29- Her eyes were as black as night.
0:30:30 > 0:30:34- Her lips as red as wild strawberries - on a dewy August morning.
0:30:36 > 0:30:37- Anyway...
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- ..Idris saw us talking - so he came over.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45- But she fancied me, I knew. - She kept staring at my wellingtons.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50- Not this pair - but my town wellingtons.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56- I might not look very romantic...
0:30:57 > 0:30:59- ..but I know how to treat a lady.
0:31:00 > 0:31:05- I invited Jezebel out - for a slap-up meal.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09- We had a table for two - in the Little Chef.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14- It's very nice!
0:31:16 > 0:31:21- But why do they put pictures on - the menu? Do they think we're thick?
0:31:22 > 0:31:26- I know what fish and chicken - look like - I don't need pictures.
0:31:26 > 0:31:29- I nearly asked why they did this.
0:31:29 > 0:31:35- But I found out why. The pictures - represent the size of the plates.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43- As we ate, - I only had one thing on my mind.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48- I thought I'd lost my chance when - she ordered a knickerbocker glory.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52- No-one could eat like Jezebel.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54- We walked back to the caravan.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- She was hungry again.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- I bought her some sausage and chips.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06- She ate the chips with one hand, - then she grabbed me...
0:32:07 > 0:32:10- ..and pulled me towards her.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13- I was starting to feel hot.
0:32:13 > 0:32:17- Then I remembered - she squashed - the sausage and chips between us.
0:32:19 > 0:32:24- I pulled away, so as not to burn. - She grabbed the sausage...
0:32:25 > 0:32:27- ..but she grabbed the wrong sausage!
0:32:31 > 0:32:32- Good grief!
0:32:34 > 0:32:37- I had an 'out of body' experience.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41- I went to heaven and back.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46- I knew it was heaven - - it hadn't rained for weeks.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51- We walked to the caravan. - Idris was sulking.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54- He wouldn't let us into the caravan.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57- Jezebel and I sat in the pick up.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02- That's uncomfortable - - trying to make love in a pick up.
0:33:04 > 0:33:09- Nothing's worse than seeing yourself - in the wing mirror and reading...
0:33:10 > 0:33:14- ..'Objects in the rear view mirror - may appear larger than they are'.
0:33:23 > 0:33:27- Jezebel asked me, - "Do you practise safe sex?"
0:33:28 > 0:33:32- "No, but I do unsafe sex very well," - I replied.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35- "No, safe sex!" - "Hold on," I said...
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- ..I used to go with a girl from - Rhydymain who practised safe sex".
0:33:40 > 0:33:44- "Was she on the pill?" "No. - She'd lock the car doors." 'Bye!
0:33:56 > 0:33:58-
0:37:36 > 0:37:38- Dyffryn Peris choir!
0:37:46 > 0:37:52- The butcher's in Bala was about - to close one Saturday night...
0:37:52 > 0:37:54- ..when a small dog came in.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58- The butcher chased him out - saying, "Scat!"
0:37:59 > 0:38:01- Two minutes later, the dog returned.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04- It had something in its mouth.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07- It was a note saying 'Dear Sir...
0:38:08 > 0:38:14- ..'Please give the dog 12 sausages, - 2 slices of brawn and 5 faggots.
0:38:15 > 0:38:19- 'The money's in his mouth.' - The butcher found a 10 note.
0:38:19 > 0:38:23- The dog left with the meat - and some change.
0:38:23 > 0:38:28- It was so unusual, - the butcher decided to follow him.
0:38:28 > 0:38:33- The dog walked through town - towards a pedestrian crossing.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36- He pressed the button.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- When the little man - went "bleep bleep"...
0:38:41 > 0:38:43- ..he crossed over to the bus stop.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- He studied the timetable.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- The six o'clock bus appeared.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56- The dog checked - it was the right number.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59- He got on the double-decker bus.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04- He took a front seat, for - a better view of the countryside.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09- After ten minutes, - he got up to ring the bell.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12- The bus stopped.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16- The dog alighted - and walked towards a smart house.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- Having put the parcel down...
0:39:19 > 0:39:24- ..he took a running jump and threw - himself head first on the door.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- Nothing happened. He tried again.
0:39:27 > 0:39:31- He walked back down the path - and shoulder-charged the door.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36- The butcher hid in the hedge, - taking it all in. He was baffled.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40- The door was finally opened by a - giant of a man, clutching a stick.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45- He began beating the dog - mercilessly.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48- Don't worry. It's not a true story!
0:39:50 > 0:39:53- The butcher cried out, - "What are you doing?
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- "You're probably beating - the world's cleverest dog."
0:39:58 > 0:40:04- "Clever - my foot! He's forgotten - his keys three times this week!"
0:40:15 > 0:40:20- A bloke from Bala - won a holiday in the North Pole.
0:40:21 > 0:40:27- The itinerary included - a fishing excursion.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33- The North Pole itself - was only 20 yards away.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38- He sat with his flask - whilst they cut a hole in the ice.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41- He began fishing.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46- He didn't catch a thing for hours. - An Eskimo appeared on the horizon.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51- The Eskimo bored a hole - next to his.
0:40:53 > 0:40:54- He began fishing.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59- Within minutes, - an enormous fish had taken the bite.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02- It was like this...well!
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- It was a beauty.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10- The bloke thought, 'Strange, - his hole is just next to mine'.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13- Minutes later, he'd caught another.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16- The Eskimo's basket was soon full.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- The Bala lad hadn't had a bite even.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23- "Excuse me," he asked. - "How are you so successful?"
0:41:28 > 0:41:29- "Pardon?"
0:41:33 > 0:41:34- "Oh."
0:41:35 > 0:41:39- This continued for half an hour. - "What's your secret?"
0:41:41 > 0:41:44- "Pardon?" The Eskimo spat.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46- "You have to keep the maggots warm".
0:41:58 > 0:42:05- Over the years, he's entertained - thousands through Wales and beyond.
0:42:06 > 0:42:10- I can't imagine a better way - to close 'Noson Lawen'...
0:42:10 > 0:42:14- ..than with the evergreen tenor, - Trebor Edwards.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31- Thank you.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35- Everyone in Wales likes a love song.
0:42:36 > 0:42:41- This song is about longing - for a loved one, 'Dagrau Hiraeth'.
0:45:58 > 0:46:00- Thank you.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03- I'll sing a new song for you now.
0:46:04 > 0:46:08- The original lyrics - refer to an island in Scotland.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14- But in this version, - by Margaret Edwards from Betws...
0:46:14 > 0:46:17- ..the island becomes Bardsey.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20- I hope you'll enjoy, 'Ynys Enlli.'
0:50:02 > 0:50:04- Subtitles by- CYMEN