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0:03:01 > 0:03:02- Thank you.
0:03:02 > 0:03:09- Welcome to NOSON LAWEN from - Gwern Elwy farm, Henllan, Denbigh.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- Wasn't that - a wonderful opening song?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15- The muscular, good-looking choir...
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- ..I can't remember - what else they asked me to say.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- Their conductor is Vera Savage. - Thanks to Meibion Twm o'r Nant.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39- Somebody asked me backstage, - "Have you got good jokes tonight?"
0:03:39 > 0:03:45- I don't tell jokes, I just remember - funny things people say.
0:03:45 > 0:03:52- The things you and I say - as parents to our children.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- The stupid things - our parents told us.
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- I remember Mam telling me, - "Idris. Look at your ears".
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- Only Prince Charles can do that.
0:04:13 > 0:04:20- Didn't they say silly things? - "Shut your mouth and eat your food."
0:04:25 > 0:04:26- Am I right?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- "If I catch you, I'll kill you - and send you to bed."
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- "If you get lost, don't come home."
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Maybe all kids hear this.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- When Dad lost his temper, - he turned purple.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- He'd forget who he was.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- "Do you know who I am?"
0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Am I right? - Then he'd forget who I was.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01- "Who do you think you are?"
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- "If you fall off the wall and - break both legs, don't run to me."
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- Until I was ten, I thought Dad - was a ventriloquist.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- He'd shout, "Idris! Come here!"
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- "Where were you?"
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Then he'd hit me - with every syllable.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34- Did that happen to you? - "Where have you been?"
0:05:37 > 0:05:41- "With John Glyn, Dad." - "With John Glyn!"
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- "Playing football, Dad." - "Playing football!"
0:05:47 > 0:05:51- Once, I went to Llanfairpwllgwyn- - gyllgogerychwyrndrobwll- - llantysiliogogogoch.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- ..but I didn't tell him!
0:06:03 > 0:06:08- It's my privilege to introduce - five very pretty young girls.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- The Bala quintet have only - sung together for two years.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- They've already been successful - at the Urdd Eisteddfod.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Please welcome, Synfen.
0:06:36 > 0:06:42- Thank you. Nia Wyn Jones wrote this - song, 'Nid Aur yw Popeth Melyn'.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- When I see young girls - I remember my courting days.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53- I chased anything in a skirt.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58- I was nearly killed - during a weekend in Scotland.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- Kilt, darling, kilt.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Kilt! A woman in the front asked, - "What does he mean?"
0:11:14 > 0:11:19- When I courted, - I always wondered what I'd get.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23- After Bodffordd school - I moved to Llangefni.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- We held a draw to decide - who courted who.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- The boys' names went into one box, - the girls in another.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- You took them out, no matter what. - I dated some ugly ones.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39- I remember once...
0:11:40 > 0:11:41- ..Idris Charles...
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- ..Linda May.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50- Seventeen stone. Had we married, - I'd have had a roof over my head.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Her father was a builder.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- I was hopeless with girls.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Girls would go out in threes.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10- Two pretty ones and the one I got.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16- I couldn't chat up girls.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- Even if I had castanets - on my y-fronts, I wouldn't click.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27- Some comedians joke - about married life.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- I never joke about my wife. - She's fantastic.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- I don't mind married life - but the hours are long.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48- Next, we've four - exceptionally talented musicians.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- They've just returned from promoting - their new CD in the USA.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- They're now touring Wales. - Please welcome, Crasdant.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13- Thanks for the welcome. Pibddawns - is a much loved Welsh dance.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- We'll be playing three for you.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- The first is 'Pibddawns Mr Pring'. - The second, 'Pibddawns Corwen'.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- The final melody hails from the - Romany Gipsy tradition in Wales...
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- ..It's called 'Dyn y Geg'.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47-
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Thank you.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01- This story from 1950 is brilliant.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05- Two blokes - sat in a Llanfair PG pub.
0:18:05 > 0:18:11- One said, "Did you see the advert - in The Daily Post?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- "A new pub has opened in Liverpool.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- "They're offering a pint, - 5 Woodbines...
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- ..a woman and a pork pie - for 2 shillings."
0:18:25 > 0:18:29- His mate said, "There won't be - much meat in the pie".
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- This young girl comes from Wrexham.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- You might have seen her on TV. - She's making a name for herself.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- She's shared a stage - with the Spice Girls.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53- Please welcome, Lydia Griffiths.
0:23:11 > 0:23:16- Thank you. My next song's - from the musical, Jekyll and Hyde.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18- 'Hon Ydi'r Eiliad.'
0:26:52 > 0:26:57- When I commentate for Radio Cymru, - I love going to Caernarfon.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- Caernarfon is full of characters.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02- I visited recently.
0:27:02 > 0:27:07- The producer was talking to me - through my headphones.
0:27:07 > 0:27:12- "We're coming to you in 30 seconds," - the producer said. "OK," I said.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14- Dongo walked in.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18- Dongo's a character. He spotted me.
0:27:18 > 0:27:23- I was at the very top of the stand.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27- I wore headphones - and held a microphone.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30- "Idris Charles! - What are you doing, preaching?
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- "Tell Radio Cymru listeners...
0:27:37 > 0:27:40- ..that Caernarfon are having - lighters for Christmas...
0:27:41 > 0:27:43- ..because they've lost - so many matches."
0:27:45 > 0:27:47- He sat next to me at half time.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- "Have you seen - the bike races on SC4?"
0:27:53 > 0:27:58- "Yes, I've seen the bike races - on SC4." "Why do they do it?"
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- "Why do they do what?" - "The bike races...
0:28:03 > 0:28:07- ..go up and down hills, up and down - hills, without water and food.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11- "Why do they do it - for so many weeks?
0:28:11 > 0:28:12- "Why?"
0:28:13 > 0:28:19- "The winner gets 20,000." - "I know, but why do the rest do it?"
0:28:31 > 0:28:36- Some people say jokes, others are - comedians. It's not always the same.
0:28:37 > 0:28:42- Some can say jokes, others are - comedians. I know you'll laugh now.
0:28:42 > 0:28:47- Because this man is one of your own. - You laugh just looking at him.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50- Please welcome, Robert Douglas Owen.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05- How are you?
0:29:07 > 0:29:09- Aren't these sheds pleasant?
0:29:09 > 0:29:14- Perhaps the older generation - will remember making a corn stack.
0:29:14 > 0:29:20- A master ordered his farm hand - to make a corn stack.
0:29:21 > 0:29:26- He was doing well - and had nearly finished.
0:29:26 > 0:29:30- But the corn stack slipped - and fell apart.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33- It all fell in one huge mess.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36- His master appeared - and he was livid.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- "I thought I told you - to make an egg shaped corn stack."
0:29:41 > 0:29:45- "I wasn't sure whether you meant - a boiled or fried egg."
0:29:48 > 0:29:53- An old lady was a resident - at an old people's home.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57- She was having her 100th birthday.
0:29:58 > 0:30:04- The Matron had promised - she could have anything she wanted.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09- Do you know what she wanted? To run - stark naked through the male ward.
0:30:11 > 0:30:16- But Matron had promised. She bolted - quickly through the male ward.
0:30:17 > 0:30:22- Two 80-year-old characters looked - on. "Who was that?" one asked.
0:30:23 > 0:30:28- "I think it was Mary." - "What was she wearing?"
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- "I don't know, but whatever it was, - it needed ironing!"
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- Don't some young people - wear odd clothes?
0:30:42 > 0:30:49- I spotted a ridiculous looking - girl in Llandudno the other day.
0:30:50 > 0:30:55- She was a mess. I remarked to the - person next to me, "Look at that.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57- "What a sight! Is it a girl or boy?"
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- "She's a girl - and she's my daughter."
0:31:01 > 0:31:06- "Sorry. I didn't know you were her - mother." "I'm not, I'm her father."
0:31:12 > 0:31:16- Do you children - get enough food in school?
0:31:17 > 0:31:21- A young boy came home from school - complaining of a bad stomach.
0:31:22 > 0:31:27- His mother said, "It's empty. You'll - be OK after putting something in it"
0:31:28 > 0:31:32- His father came home - with a terrible headache.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- But his father could retaliate.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43- The boy said, "Dad, we have PE - lessons in school.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48- "Our teacher tells us not - to stand on our heads for long...
0:31:48 > 0:31:50- ..or blood will rush to our heads.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55- "Why doesn't it rush to my feet when - I'm upright?" "They're not empty."
0:31:59 > 0:32:01- A bloke lives by me - in Llanfair Talhaearn.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04- He's a strange creature.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- He started out one night and - realised he'd lost his house keys.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13- He was frightened someone could - open the door while he was out.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16- He removed the door - and took it with him.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21- He carried the door through - the village.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26- I asked him, "What if you lost the - door?" "I've left the window open."
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- He wanted to buy crocodile skin - shoes.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38- He tried numerous shops - to no avail.
0:32:38 > 0:32:44- A woman told him, "You'll have to - go to Africa to catch a crocodile".
0:32:45 > 0:32:49- He was so keen, - he travelled to Africa.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52- Local people took him out in a boat.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56- He sat with a gun, - waiting for a crocodile.
0:32:56 > 0:33:01- One came, and he shot it between - its eyes. The crocodile was dead.
0:33:02 > 0:33:06- "Just my luck," he said. - "I've shot one without shoes."
0:33:11 > 0:33:17- The poor fellow couldn't find - a wife. He tried dozens of women.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20- He lived with his parents.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24- Whenever he took a girl home, - his mother disapproved.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28- His mother disliked - every single one.
0:33:28 > 0:33:35- He asked my advice. I told him, - "Find one that's like your mother".
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- He found one that was identical - to his mother.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43- He took her home. - His father didn't like her.
0:33:46 > 0:33:51- But he found a wife in the end. - She wasn't a beauty.
0:33:53 > 0:33:57- I shouldn't say this but she was - ugly. There's no-one like her here.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02- Their wedding day dawned, - the service went without a hitch.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08- Because he wasn't a chapel member - he had to pay the minister.
0:34:09 > 0:34:14- He turned to the minister, - "How much do I owe you?"
0:34:14 > 0:34:18- The minister said, "How much do you - think your wife is worth?"
0:34:19 > 0:34:24- He looked at his wife and pulled out - 50 pence from his pocket.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28- The minister looked at her - and gave him 40 pence change.
0:34:33 > 0:34:39- I'm sure all you married men - give your wives birthday presents.
0:34:40 > 0:34:45- A Llansannan farmer had remembered - his wife's birthday for 20 years.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49- After 21 years, he couldn't think - what to give her.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52- He asked her what she wanted.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57- Do you know what she wanted? - A plot by the cemetery gates.
0:34:58 > 0:35:03- He thought it was strange - but if that's what she wanted...
0:35:03 > 0:35:07- ..he bought her the plot - by the cemetery gates.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11- But during the following year, - things soured between them.
0:35:11 > 0:35:16- They were together but not on very - good terms on her next birthday.
0:35:16 > 0:35:21- She asked him, "What are you buying - me for my birthday this time?"
0:35:22 > 0:35:25- "Nothing. You haven't used - what I gave you last year."
0:35:43 > 0:35:45-
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Thanks to Meibion Twm o'r Nant.
0:38:50 > 0:38:55- I was looking forward to tonight - but my day's been quite odd.
0:38:56 > 0:39:00- This is a new shirt. - Pretty isn't it?
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- I wore it. The button popped off.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07- I picked up my briefcase. - The handle fell off.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09- I opened the door. - The knob came off.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13- I haven't been - to the toilet for hours.
0:39:14 > 0:39:19- It's great to entertain you - in a wonderful theatre like this.
0:39:20 > 0:39:26- About three years ago, - for the first and last time...
0:39:26 > 0:39:30- ..I was booked - to perform on a cruise.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34- The brochure showed - the ship on the sea.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37- The sea was calm, wasn't it?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39- Until you go on the blooming thing.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44- I entertained the passengers - as the ship swayed.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50- I was sick, as was the whole ship.
0:39:50 > 0:39:54- It was like performing - to 200 green Martians.
0:39:55 > 0:39:57- "I've got to go," I said.
0:39:58 > 0:40:02- I went. Do you know - how they cure seasickness?
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- They hide your cabin.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11- I couldn't find it. - As I lay in the corridor...
0:40:11 > 0:40:16- ..a woman came out of her cabin. - She was starkers.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20- She'd opened the wrong door - en route to the bathroom.
0:40:21 > 0:40:25- She was stuck in the corridor, - starkers. Then she spotted me!
0:40:29 > 0:40:31- "Oh, I'm so embarrassed," she said.
0:40:31 > 0:40:36- "Don't worry," I replied. "I won't - live long enough to tell anybody."
0:40:41 > 0:40:42- Characters!
0:40:43 > 0:40:48- Owen John was a character. - He used to get so drunk.
0:40:48 > 0:40:54- There's a story about him wrapping - himself round a Llangefni lamp post.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59- "Are you alright, Owen John?" - my father asked him.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03- "Yes, everything's fine. - OK. No problem."
0:41:04 > 0:41:09- "What's the problem?" Dad said. "The - houses are going round and round."
0:41:10 > 0:41:14- "Why don't you go home?" "It's OK. - My house will come round shortly."
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- He wanted to catch a train - from Bangor to Llangefni.
0:41:22 > 0:41:26- It took hours! A train pulled in. - "Is this the Llangefni train?"
0:41:27 > 0:41:31- "Manchester." "Thank you very much. - I don't want to go there."
0:41:32 > 0:41:36- "Excuse me, porter. - Is this the Llangefni train?"
0:41:36 > 0:41:40- "That's the Manchester train." - "I don't want to go there."
0:41:40 > 0:41:42- Two hours passed.
0:41:42 > 0:41:46- Finally, a small train pulled in. - Owen John got on.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50- The Llannerchymedd minister - sat in the carriage.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55- Owen John said, - "Did you see me get on?"
0:41:58 > 0:42:05- "Yes." "Do you know who I am?" - "No." "How do you know I came on?"
0:42:07 > 0:42:12- "I'm afraid you're on the way - to hell." "The wrong train again."
0:42:26 > 0:42:31- It's a great pleasure for me - to introduce tonight's star.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35- He's a star - in the true sense of the word.
0:42:36 > 0:42:41- Not only is he an actor and - presenter, he's a brilliant singer.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45- Please welcome, Bryn Fon!
0:43:01 > 0:43:05- Thanks for the welcome, - and to Idris for the kind words.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10- Like the hair? Was it Marilyn Monroe - who said, "Blondes have more fun"?
0:43:10 > 0:43:12- She was telling the truth, too!
0:43:15 > 0:43:19- Emyr Huws Jones wrote this song. - It's called, 'Fy Nghalon I'.
0:46:08 > 0:46:09- Thank you.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11- Nothing beats an open fire.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16- There are two fires in the next - song. One's burning on a hillside.
0:46:16 > 0:46:22- The other's the flame of love dying. - 'Tan Ar Fynydd Cennin'.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35- Subtitles by- CYMEN