0:00:03 > 0:00:08Hello and welcome to Songs Of Praise on this fourth Sunday of Lent,
0:00:08 > 0:00:10traditionally Mothering Sunday.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13A chance for us to thank mums for all they do for us
0:00:13 > 0:00:14throughout the year.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18And of course, we grandmums are mums too, so today I'm going to be
0:00:18 > 0:00:21meeting a couple of very inspirational grandmas
0:00:21 > 0:00:23who help to take care of their grandchildren
0:00:23 > 0:00:25when their own parents can't.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28My children do what they can to support me,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31so why wouldn't I do what I can to support them?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33I'm in North Yorkshire
0:00:33 > 0:00:36to meet a mother enduring every parent's nightmare.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40Seven years ago, Claudia Lawrence disappeared from her home in York.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45I'll never give up hope that one day I'm going to see her again, never.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51And Scottish worship leader Grace Agbana reveals how she drew
0:00:51 > 0:00:56on strength from her church in her difficult quest to become a mother.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I just believe that if God's people prayed for us,
0:00:59 > 0:01:00it would come to pass.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11And there will be a special performance from Grace
0:01:11 > 0:01:13later on in the programme.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16All part of today's mix of music from across the UK.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18And we start in Sale in Cheshire,
0:01:18 > 0:01:21with a rousing rendition of a modern favourite.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Aren't these lovely?
0:04:23 > 0:04:27A perfect way to let our mums know how much they mean to us
0:04:27 > 0:04:29on their special day.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33But you know, there'll be thousands of children who are giving bunches of flowers like this,
0:04:33 > 0:04:36not just to their mums, but to their grandmums too
0:04:36 > 0:04:39because, for a whole variety of reasons, there are more and more
0:04:39 > 0:04:44grandmas who are stepping in to look after their children's children.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Come and show me...
0:04:48 > 0:04:52At 61, Sharon Peake still takes on a gruelling daily schedule,
0:04:52 > 0:04:55looking after her two grandchildren,
0:04:55 > 0:04:58six-year-old Leon and Holly who is four.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02I'm catching up with Sharon and recently retired husband Gordon,
0:05:02 > 0:05:04in the middle of another hectic day.
0:05:04 > 0:05:09- Well done. That's lovely, well done. - He loves that, doesn't he?- He does.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Your grandchild. But you used to bring your own children here,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- didn't you?- I did. Yes.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17- How many years ago was that? - Oh, dear. Over 30.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20- But now you look after your two grandchildren.- Yes.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23And how many hours a day do you do that?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Well, they arrive between seven and half past in the morning.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Leon goes to school at nine.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- We have Holly till midday, and then from 3.30.- Goodness...
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- That's quite a routine.- Till about 5.30 when Daddy picks them up.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37So why do you do this?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Because our children needed our help.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43There's not a better reason, is there, for doing anything.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47If your children need you, you do what you can to support them.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- And Mum and Dad are busy working? - Mum and Dad are busy working, yeah.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Back home, there's no let-up with Sharon's daily routine.
0:05:56 > 0:06:01- Do you want this buttered hot?- Yes, please. Just a moment, darling.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03We'd better get this buttered.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Do you want to do it? - Yeah, I'll do that, shall I?
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Isn't this the time when you've retired
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- and you should be able to put your feet up?- You'd think, wouldn't you?
0:06:11 > 0:06:15Why do you do this, then? Because it's obviously hard work.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- But is it a labour of love? - Well, yes.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22We love each other, God said to love each other, didn't he?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26And I love my children, my children love me, I love my grandchildren.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28My children do what they can to support me,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31so why wouldn't I do what I can to support them?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35How does your faith fit in? Especially with all of this.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I mean, it's had its bashes.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41For example, when I was ill a few years ago...
0:06:41 > 0:06:45I couldn't have prayed, I was in no fit state to.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49And actually, he helped, he'd just been born.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52And on one occasion, his mummy came round...
0:06:52 > 0:06:55and she let me push him into the village.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58And my mother said to me afterwards,
0:06:58 > 0:07:00"Do you realise what she's just done for you?
0:07:00 > 0:07:04"She's just trusted you with the most precious thing in her life."
0:07:04 > 0:07:07And that helped. It helped a great deal.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Here we go, right...
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Along with looking after her grandchildren at home,
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Sharon also gets them involved in her commitments at church.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Because it's Lent, we've be looking at the creation story
0:07:23 > 0:07:25and creating a collage.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29And Holly's been helping me put things onto the board.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Cos it's taken us quite a few weeks to put all this together.
0:07:33 > 0:07:34Is there OK?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- Yeah.- Well done.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Once back home, there's just enough time
0:07:39 > 0:07:43for Sharon to do some homework with Leon in the kitchen.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47On the evening of July 25th, 1956...
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Good boy.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Whilst Gordon keeps Holly amused until Dad comes to pick them up.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- DOORBELL RINGS - Daddy!
0:07:56 > 0:07:59So, at 5.30, when Daddy comes to collect them,
0:07:59 > 0:08:02and the little dears go home, what do you do then?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Well, before they go home...
0:08:04 > 0:08:07We have the "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" bit.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11And eventually they do go out of the door, we wave them goodbye
0:08:11 > 0:08:17and then we like to just sit down for a few minutes until...tomorrow.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20At seven o'clock, when the alarm goes off.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- LAUGHTER And you start all over again. - That's right.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09For many, Mothering Sunday is a happy time,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12with children giving thanks to their mums.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15But for some it can be a time of sadness.
0:10:15 > 0:10:21The worst nightmare for any parent is if their child simply vanishes.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24And that has been the stark reality of life for Joan Lawrence
0:10:24 > 0:10:28for nearly seven years since her daughter, Claudia,
0:10:28 > 0:10:30mysteriously disappeared.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Sally has been to meet her, to find out how she is coping.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- TV:- '35-year-old Claudia Lawrence has been described today
0:10:39 > 0:10:44'as a lovely girl who has no worries and many friends.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47'Police say her disappearance is completely
0:10:47 > 0:10:49'and utterly out of character.'
0:10:49 > 0:10:53It's now almost exactly seven years since Claudia disappeared.
0:10:53 > 0:10:58She lived near the University of York, where she worked as a chef.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01But she grew up here in Moulton in North Yorkshire,
0:11:01 > 0:11:03where her mother Joan still lives.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Joan, why have you brought me here?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10Because this was so much of Claudia's life.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Having two daughters,
0:11:12 > 0:11:14I always hoped one of them would be into the ballet.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16And things like that.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20But they were very much into horses and animals,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22from as long as I can remember.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Tell me about her personality.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Very kind, very caring.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30She had a wonderful sense of humour even when she was little.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33But very infectious.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36The last telephone call was on the night
0:11:36 > 0:11:38before she disappeared
0:11:38 > 0:11:41and also we had a long talk in the afternoon
0:11:41 > 0:11:43before she disappeared.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Do you find yourself going over
0:11:44 > 0:11:48- every detail of that last conversation?- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Was there something I missed all the time?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54She just seemed so normal and jolly
0:11:54 > 0:11:58and said she was going to bed early because she had to be up early.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02But Claudia never arrived in work the next day.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Despite intensive investigations that are still going on,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10to date, no-one has been charged in connection with her disappearance.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14For Joan, it means living every day with the agony of not knowing
0:12:14 > 0:12:16what happened to her daughter.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18When Claudia first disappeared,
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I couldn't come to this church for a long time.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25I could see her at the crib services, when she was confirmed...
0:12:25 > 0:12:29There's so much of her life was involved in this church.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33Joan, how is it that you've
0:12:33 > 0:12:35been able to keep going these seven years?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37What is it that sustains you?
0:12:37 > 0:12:44There's something inside me that seems to keep it all together.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48You have your children, you love them, you nurture them
0:12:48 > 0:12:53and you want to keep them safe. You want to be there for them.
0:12:53 > 0:12:58And the devastation of this, the nightmare of this...
0:12:58 > 0:13:03Yet there's just that flicker of hope that seems to come through,
0:13:03 > 0:13:05that just...
0:13:05 > 0:13:07keeps me here, keeps me going.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11I look at a stained-glass window...
0:13:11 > 0:13:13And I'll maybe see a crucifix.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18I'll look at the window and I look at maybe Christ on the window
0:13:18 > 0:13:22and I'll look up and I think, "You know where she is."
0:13:23 > 0:13:25I can shut my eyes...
0:13:25 > 0:13:28and sort of feel a presence
0:13:28 > 0:13:32and say a little prayer and sometimes I...
0:13:33 > 0:13:36..can be...feel uplifted.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Mothering Sunday, Joan, what...?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41JOAN SIGHS
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- It's difficult...- Yes. - What will you be thinking?
0:13:44 > 0:13:47I'll be thinking of the start of all this.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52And I'll be thinking of the day we got the news.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56But I will also be thinking - I have two daughters,
0:13:56 > 0:13:59two beautiful daughters, so I'm very, very blessed,
0:13:59 > 0:14:05I have two super grandchildren, son-in-law, family...
0:14:05 > 0:14:09And I think children are a blessing. And they're a gift.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12But I will never give up hope that one day I'm going to see her again.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17Never... I've had no inner feeling, no instinct,
0:14:17 > 0:14:22nothing to say that she's... Isn't alive.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I've had no cut-off...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27here, to say that to me.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31And this is why it keeps me going.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Later in the programme,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46we'll be hearing from worship leader Grace Agbana
0:16:46 > 0:16:50about how much she appreciated the support of her church
0:16:50 > 0:16:53as she was struggling to become a mum herself.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57But first, more music, a hymn for Mother's Day,
0:16:57 > 0:16:59performed by Peterborough Youth Choir.
0:17:02 > 0:17:07# For the beauty of the earth... #
0:18:44 > 0:18:47The past 40 years have seen the city of Aberdeen become
0:18:47 > 0:18:50one of the oil capitals of Europe.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53The oil and gas industry, along with two universities,
0:18:53 > 0:18:56have brought people together from all over the world,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58including Christians from many walks of life.
0:19:03 > 0:19:08Aberdeen's diversity is reflected in the 400-strong congregation
0:19:08 > 0:19:10at King's Community Church.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Grace Agbana came to the city
0:19:12 > 0:19:15from Nigeria with her husband eight years ago.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18And she is one of the church's regular worship leaders.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Whenever I go to any church, the first thing is I want to praise God.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27So when I go to the church, I'm like, "They sing differently
0:19:27 > 0:19:30"from the kind of music I'm used to, but I'll go for it."
0:19:34 > 0:19:37# Come quickly... #
0:19:38 > 0:19:42Grace found her church to be particularly supportive
0:19:42 > 0:19:44when she went through years of disappointment
0:19:44 > 0:19:47at not being able to have children.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50We married in 2004, and instantly we wanted to have kids.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55Well, in the first year there were no kids, second, third, fourth...
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Goodness, pressure started coming from everywhere.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01"Oh, what's happening? I want to have babies."
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Everyone who got married after me had their kids and went on and on.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Until the seventh year...
0:20:08 > 0:20:11And all through this it was the Word of God that kept me going.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15I won't lie, yes, there were times where, I just felt, "Oh, no,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19"I'm not going any more. Why do I have to wait? Just give me a child."
0:20:19 > 0:20:20But eventually, it happened.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Just as she was about to go through an IVF cycle,
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Grace found out she was pregnant.
0:20:26 > 0:20:32I phoned my husband and he said, "Pregnant?"
0:20:32 > 0:20:34I'm like, "Yeah, they said I'm pregnant."
0:20:41 > 0:20:44For Grace, planning her praise is important,
0:20:44 > 0:20:47and even when she's working hard to lead others,
0:20:47 > 0:20:50it still feels like worship for her, too.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53In my time of trial, while we were trying for a babies
0:20:53 > 0:20:56and all that, I found that the church was just so supportive.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00We just believed that if God's people would just pray for us,
0:21:00 > 0:21:02it would come to pass.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Now, Grace is mum to two lively children.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08The church is large and full with people from different cultures
0:21:08 > 0:21:11and we are just so united and we're just so together -
0:21:11 > 0:21:13just raising the name of the Lord.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19The Bible says that when the children of God come together
0:21:19 > 0:21:23and in unity, there's a kind of power that is there.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26When we're in unity, anything can happen...
0:21:26 > 0:21:29You know, healing can take place.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39When I worship, I just feel like, "God, I avail myself to you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41"Just use me to touch someone's life."
0:21:44 > 0:21:48# Every time I think about your goodness
0:21:50 > 0:21:54# Every time I think about your kindness
0:21:55 > 0:22:00# Every time I think of your love for me
0:22:00 > 0:22:04# I will lift my voice and sing to you
0:22:05 > 0:22:07# Oh Lord, I love you
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# I love you
0:22:10 > 0:22:13# Oh Lord, I love you
0:22:16 > 0:22:19# Every time I think about your goodness
0:22:19 > 0:22:22# Every time I think about your goodness
0:22:22 > 0:22:26# Every time I think about your kindness
0:22:26 > 0:22:29# Oh, oh, oh, oh
0:22:29 > 0:22:32# Every time I think of your love for me
0:22:32 > 0:22:36# I will lift my voice and sing to you, oh Lord
0:22:36 > 0:22:39# Oh Lord, I love you
0:22:39 > 0:22:42# I love you
0:22:42 > 0:22:45# Oh Lord, I love you
0:22:48 > 0:22:52# I hear music in my head
0:22:52 > 0:22:54# And the melody's so high
0:22:54 > 0:22:57# Oh Lord, I love you
0:22:57 > 0:23:01# I hear music in my head
0:23:01 > 0:23:06# And the melody keeps on going on
0:23:06 > 0:23:08# Oh, how I love you
0:23:08 > 0:23:11# I love you, Lord
0:23:11 > 0:23:14# From the bottom of my heart I come to say
0:23:14 > 0:23:16# I love you, Lord
0:23:16 > 0:23:20# I love you Lord, yeah
0:23:21 > 0:23:24# I give you all the praise
0:23:24 > 0:23:26# I love you, Jesus
0:23:26 > 0:23:29# You're the melody I seek
0:23:29 > 0:23:31# I love you, Jesus
0:23:31 > 0:23:36# I love you, Lord I love you, Lord
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# Whooo
0:23:40 > 0:23:45# I love you, Lord. #
0:23:47 > 0:23:50If that bit just fell off, it would be like the Titanic.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Earlier, I was talking to Sharon Peake,
0:23:53 > 0:23:57one of thousands of grandmas who look after their grandchildren
0:23:57 > 0:24:00when their own mums and dads are working very long hours.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05But some grandparents have to take over as permanent carers
0:24:05 > 0:24:09when there really is no-one else around to bring up the children.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12This scene looks like any other up and down the country,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16with parents having a kickabout with their teenage children.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19But in fact, these are grandparents Enza and Dave Smith
0:24:19 > 0:24:22who have been looking after their grandchildren,
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Bradley and Chloe, for the past 15 years.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Our daughter was a very young mum
0:24:29 > 0:24:34and she found it very difficult to cope with our grandson.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36So we were looking after him and helping her out.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41We'd gone through bringing our own children up,
0:24:41 > 0:24:44and we got to a point where we believed that we could have
0:24:44 > 0:24:46a bit more time to ourselves
0:24:46 > 0:24:49and then we found ourselves starting again, didn't we?
0:24:49 > 0:24:50We did, yeah.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Despite being young grandparents,
0:24:52 > 0:24:56the past 15 years have been challenging for Enza and Dave.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Not least because of Bradley's continuing battle with
0:24:59 > 0:25:02the hyperactive disorder, ADHD.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06He was always active and always on the go.
0:25:06 > 0:25:11And we managed it through sport, and he played football and rugby
0:25:11 > 0:25:13and then predominantly rugby.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17After seven years of raising Bradley,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Enza and Dave's caring commitments increased
0:25:20 > 0:25:23when they had to take in their granddaughter as well.
0:25:24 > 0:25:31Chloe was about five and our daughter was, again, not coping.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35So was that the point at which you realised this had to become
0:25:35 > 0:25:37a permanent arrangement?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- Yes, yeah.- Yeah.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45The lowest point was knowing that Chloe and Bradley
0:25:45 > 0:25:48were with us, forever, until they were 18.
0:25:48 > 0:25:54And that they would not be in the family unit with their mum.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57We had to take on the role of being parents,
0:25:57 > 0:26:01when we wanted so dearly to be grandparents to them.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- So that was really difficult, wasn't it?- Yeah.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08So, during the toughest times, what got you through?
0:26:08 > 0:26:13- Our faith, primarily, got us through.- Definitely.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- We pray together, don't we?- Yeah.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19And we have the good support of our church and the people there.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Praying for us as well.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24OK, good morning, everyone,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27and welcome to Kinship Carers support group.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Enza's experience has led her to set up a charity to give advice
0:26:31 > 0:26:35and help to other grandparents and carers in a similar situation.
0:26:35 > 0:26:40I mean, he could be up till two, three o'clock in the morning, you know.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44We know that, we had trouble with Bradley's sleeping for, how many years?
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Oh, he's still doing it! 17. - LAUGHTER
0:26:47 > 0:26:50'We are there, we advise, we support.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'And we show them that there is a way
0:26:53 > 0:26:55'and these feelings that they are having,
0:26:55 > 0:26:58'and the children are having, are normal.'
0:26:59 > 0:27:05Now 17, Bradley has become an up-and-coming county rugby player
0:27:05 > 0:27:06and he is forever grateful
0:27:06 > 0:27:09for the love and support of his grandparents.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Brad, you've got a pretty special grandma and grandad, haven't you?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Yeah, I mean, they have done a lot for me
0:27:17 > 0:27:21and they have always been there for me through everything, really.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Right from in primary school
0:27:23 > 0:27:25where I was always getting into trouble,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28and just trying to run away and get home.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30They'd always be there for me.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32It's Mothering Sunday,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35so what would you like to say to your grandma today?
0:27:35 > 0:27:38I'd just like to say, thank you for everything, really.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41And I don't really know how to express it,
0:27:41 > 0:27:43but just thanks for everything.
0:27:43 > 0:27:48It was a very tough time at the beginning, with both children.
0:27:48 > 0:27:55My health was deteriorating, and I was taken to my lowest ebb in life.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58But my chains are gone.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01And my struggles are ending.
0:28:01 > 0:28:06Life is getting easier, the children are growing up and, you know,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08God's grace is amazing.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38And that's just about it.
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Next week, Josie will be at the Birmingham Children's Hospital,
0:30:42 > 0:30:45meeting a group of singers who are helping you patients
0:30:45 > 0:30:49to discover that music is not just good fun, but good medicine too.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52But we end now with a great worship song, from the man who wrote it,
0:30:52 > 0:30:56Stuart Townend performing at the Keswick Convention.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Until next time, goodbye.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03# Oh my soul... #
0:33:42 > 0:33:46CHEERING