0:00:07 > 0:00:11Oh, that's better. Father's Day - surely the one day in the year
0:00:11 > 0:00:13where I get to relax, and for a change,
0:00:13 > 0:00:15have my children looking after me.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17Perhaps I will unwind with a nice cup of tea.
0:00:17 > 0:00:19I wonder where they are. Hello?
0:00:19 > 0:00:20Hello?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Typical.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Coming up, we meet the dad whose own experience of fatherhood
0:00:26 > 0:00:29turned his world upside down.
0:00:29 > 0:00:33A daughter who discovered a father she didn't know she had.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35And we sing some great hymns
0:00:35 > 0:00:36that celebrate God as the Father.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40So, sit back and enjoy.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Father's Day is a day of thanksgiving.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54It is a day to think about our dads. And for many of us, like me,
0:00:54 > 0:00:56to celebrate being a dad.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Many hymns capture the belief in God as the Father,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02including our first hymn that paints a glorious picture of God.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05From the beautiful setting of St Andrew's University,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08the congregation sing Immortal, Invisible.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I have been having a look into the origins of Father's Day.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26It is believed to have been the idea of Sonora Smart Dodd -
0:03:26 > 0:03:29a young American woman who wanted to thank her father,
0:03:29 > 0:03:31who had raised her, following her mother's death.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35It was officially sanctioned as a day of celebration
0:03:35 > 0:03:36by President Richard Nixon,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39back in 1972.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Pretty impressive to think one girl's dream
0:03:41 > 0:03:44is now recognised all over the world.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Our next fabulous song is one of thanks,
0:03:47 > 0:03:49performed by Gamlingay Village College Choir.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Mark Stibbe has four children,
0:06:29 > 0:06:32so he knows the joy and pains of fatherhood.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35But he's never met his own dad.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37I never met my biological father,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40because before my twin sister and I were born,
0:06:40 > 0:06:43he disappeared from the scene.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45We don't know his name.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47We don't even know if he is still alive.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49We know our birth mother's name.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52But other than that, the rest is a mystery.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55But for Mark and his twin sister,
0:06:55 > 0:06:58it wasn't long until they became part of a new family.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01There were two people, Philip and Joyce Stibbe,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04and they came into the orphanage in Hackney and took Claire and me
0:07:04 > 0:07:06in their arms
0:07:06 > 0:07:08and drove us to their home,
0:07:08 > 0:07:11where we started a very different life.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14A life of real opportunities, actually.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Despite the love of his new family,
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Mark still felt a deep sense of abandonment.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Even though I had a great adoptive father,
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I felt a deep sense of loss
0:07:25 > 0:07:29at not ever having known my biological father.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30When I became a Christian,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32I found it really easy to relate to Jesus,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36because he is the friend that sticks closer than a brother.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39That's what the Bible describes him as.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42But I found it difficult to relate to God as a father,
0:07:42 > 0:07:44because I projected
0:07:44 > 0:07:48the face of my biological father onto my heavenly father.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51In 1987, Mark had an experience
0:07:51 > 0:07:54that changed everything.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57I was ordained as a minister in the Church of England,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00and I was given the youth programme.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03So I took these young people to a Youth for Christ rally,
0:08:03 > 0:08:05and I thought, "This will change them".
0:08:05 > 0:08:08In the end, it wasn't them who changed, it was me.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14This song began to play that I had never heard before.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18In fact, I had never heard a song like that before.
0:08:18 > 0:08:23The words went, "Father God, I wonder how I managed to exist
0:08:23 > 0:08:27"without the knowledge of your parenthood and your loving care."
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Singing that song for the first time,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I really couldn't sing it, to be honest.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I was crying.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38God is not a father who walks out on his kids.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40He will be with me through thick and thin,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42come hell or high water.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Through the tears, I saw that for the first time.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48As we'll hear, this discovery took Mark's life
0:08:48 > 0:08:50in a different direction.
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Mark's own experience of fatherhood
0:11:42 > 0:11:44has inspired him to help others.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46The Father's House Trust is a charity
0:11:46 > 0:11:48that I formed in 2008.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50The real message at its heart
0:11:50 > 0:11:53is that God is the most loving dad in the universe.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Through charity work and leadership courses,
0:11:56 > 0:11:58the Trust helps those who have difficult,
0:11:58 > 0:12:00or often no relationship,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02with their fathers.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05What inspired me to start the charity was
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I had an opportunity to go to Uganda,
0:12:07 > 0:12:08and I was speaking in an orphanage.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I think I was listening to God,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12and I felt like he said to me,
0:12:12 > 0:12:15"You know what? You being orphaned,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18"and adopted, is not a curse on your life.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21"It's perhaps the greatest gift you could have been given.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23"And I want you to bring the Father's love
0:12:23 > 0:12:25"to the fatherless throughout the world."
0:12:27 > 0:12:32Here in the UK, the Trust has made a big difference.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Liz Pembroke had a happy and fulfilling childhood,
0:12:35 > 0:12:39but didn't know how to receive her father's love.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42On a practical level, he was there.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45I do know it was hard for him,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48and men of his generation,
0:12:48 > 0:12:50to express their love.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I really just wasn't a confident young girl,
0:12:54 > 0:12:56and needed lots of affirmation.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58And lots of hugs and kisses.
0:12:59 > 0:13:04As I have got older, and have reflected back,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I realise...
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I did look for that affirmation
0:13:08 > 0:13:11and love
0:13:11 > 0:13:13in other places.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Maybe I didn't think to look for it from my dad.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19MUSIC: "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Liz's contact with the Father's House Trust
0:13:22 > 0:13:25helped her understand how God's love could transform her relationship
0:13:25 > 0:13:27with her dad.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I didn't even know that God
0:13:29 > 0:13:31could love me,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34or even that he existed in that way.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38I put these defences up round my heart, if you like.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41But actually, that protection was stopping me
0:13:41 > 0:13:44from receiving God's love.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48So, as that barrier is gradually being broken down by God,
0:13:48 > 0:13:53then something magical happens.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59I think the most beautiful thing
0:13:59 > 0:14:04is that I'm at a stage where I...
0:14:04 > 0:14:08really, really know that my dad loves me,
0:14:08 > 0:14:11and that's just...
0:14:11 > 0:14:14the most wonderful thing -
0:14:14 > 0:14:19the realisation that he always has loved me.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24So that's just really very wonderful.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57A great hymn, sung by the congregation at Pershore Abbey.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Coming up next, a song from Ireland's queen of song, Dana.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03If you don't mind, I'll carry on my sweeping.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13# Oh, I know why you are crying
0:17:15 > 0:17:18# I can feel the pain you feel
0:17:19 > 0:17:23# I'm walking here beside you
0:17:25 > 0:17:27# And my love for you is real
0:17:30 > 0:17:34# Yet it seems that you don't know me
0:17:34 > 0:17:38# You can't hear the words I say
0:17:39 > 0:17:43# Are the eyes of those around you
0:17:43 > 0:17:47# Cold and empty as your day?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52# I am the light
0:17:52 > 0:17:54# The light of the world
0:17:54 > 0:17:59# I am the light And the light will burn
0:17:59 > 0:18:03# Within the hearts of those who love me
0:18:03 > 0:18:05# It lights the way
0:18:05 > 0:18:07# For those who yearn
0:18:07 > 0:18:10# To see the light
0:18:10 > 0:18:13# The light of the world
0:18:13 > 0:18:16# I am the light And the light will burn
0:18:16 > 0:18:21# And like a moth Drawn to the flame
0:18:21 > 0:18:23# Consumed in my love
0:18:23 > 0:18:29# You are born again
0:18:29 > 0:18:33# Who will speak my word of comforts?
0:18:33 > 0:18:38# Who will laugh for love of me?
0:18:38 > 0:18:41# Who will shine out in the darkness
0:18:42 > 0:18:46# So that all the world can see?
0:18:48 > 0:18:52# Yet the flame of love is growing
0:18:53 > 0:18:57# Like a tide that never turns
0:18:57 > 0:19:02# Like the sun that's never setting
0:19:02 > 0:19:06# So the flame of love will burn
0:19:08 > 0:19:11# I am the light
0:19:11 > 0:19:13# The light of the world
0:19:13 > 0:19:15# I am the light
0:19:15 > 0:19:18# And the light will burn
0:19:18 > 0:19:22# Within the hearts of those who love me
0:19:22 > 0:19:27# It lights the way for those who yearn
0:19:27 > 0:19:29# To see the light
0:19:29 > 0:19:31# The light of the world
0:19:32 > 0:19:36# I am the light And the light will burn
0:19:36 > 0:19:38# And like a moth
0:19:38 > 0:19:40# Drawn to the flame
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# Consumed in my love
0:19:43 > 0:19:47# You are born again
0:19:47 > 0:19:50# And like a moth
0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Drawn to the flame
0:19:52 > 0:19:55# Consumed in my love
0:19:55 > 0:20:02# You are born again. #
0:20:14 > 0:20:17That song was composed by Dana, incidentally.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Lovely, isn't it?
0:20:18 > 0:20:20There are so many hymns and songs
0:20:20 > 0:20:23that focus on different aspects of God, the Father.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25My own personal favourite reminds us
0:20:25 > 0:20:27that God's love for us is written in our hearts.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Here it is, sung by Maltman's Green School.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42Sing, O daughter of Zion.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Shout aloud, O Israel.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Be glad, and rejoice with all your heart.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52The Lord, your God, is with you.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55He is mighty to save.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02He will take great delight in you.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04He will quiet you with his love.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07He will rejoice over you, with singing.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Over the years on Songs of Praise, we have met many fathers
0:23:57 > 0:24:00with all kinds of thought-provoking stories.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03One that I particularly admired was the story of David Lyle,
0:24:03 > 0:24:04from Northern Ireland,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07who told us movingly about his own son.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Matthew was a lovely, witty lad.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14I'm not just saying that myself
0:24:14 > 0:24:16because I was his father.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18The letters we received about him
0:24:18 > 0:24:20after his death
0:24:20 > 0:24:21were heartbreaking,
0:24:21 > 0:24:24because they were unanimous in painting this picture
0:24:24 > 0:24:26of a joyful, friendly,
0:24:26 > 0:24:29affable, kind, generous person.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32But yet, he was a tormented soul.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Drugs and addiction
0:24:34 > 0:24:36cursed his life,
0:24:36 > 0:24:38and brought him to terrible places.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42It's a normal reaction for anyone faced with
0:24:42 > 0:24:45the terrible tragedy of losing your only son
0:24:45 > 0:24:47to ask the question, "Why?
0:24:47 > 0:24:50"Why us? Why me?"
0:24:50 > 0:24:52But we came through that,
0:24:52 > 0:24:57and indeed, my wife was very, very clear in her thinking
0:24:57 > 0:24:59that God is sovereign.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01We were given new strength
0:25:01 > 0:25:06to come through that terrible period in our lives.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Faith held us through it and brought us through it.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12And through all the doubts
0:25:12 > 0:25:16and the problems that you face with this,
0:25:16 > 0:25:19and the crushingness that you go through,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22and the times when you feel utterly broken.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25And it was faith,
0:25:25 > 0:25:26it was the love of Christ
0:25:26 > 0:25:30that brought us through it.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I think it is very important,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35in terms of dealing with the death of your only son,
0:25:35 > 0:25:37that you actually
0:25:37 > 0:25:41celebrate the good memories you have.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44And I've found that this is an important part of faith -
0:25:44 > 0:25:47of Biblical faith -
0:25:47 > 0:25:48that we are
0:25:48 > 0:25:50to approach everything
0:25:50 > 0:25:51with thanksgiving.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55I give thanks for Matthew's life.
0:25:55 > 0:26:00My wife Helen and myself started the website for Matthew,
0:26:00 > 0:26:02because he had such important things to say
0:26:02 > 0:26:05about drugs and addiction.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09His own words about how addiction
0:26:09 > 0:26:13had captured his life, and enslaved him and destroyed his life -
0:26:13 > 0:26:15his own words are so powerful.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18This reality needed to be brought out to people,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21in the hope that even one life might be saved
0:26:21 > 0:26:25from this misery that drug-taking brings.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29In life, we are always dealing
0:26:29 > 0:26:33with the certainty of the unexpected.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36That is the biggest single reality
0:26:36 > 0:26:39that everybody watching this programme faces.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44I think faith in the love of Christ - faith in the risen Christ -
0:26:44 > 0:26:46is an important way of dealing
0:26:46 > 0:26:49with the certainty of the unexpected.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Our father, who art in heaven
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Hallowed be thy name
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Thy kingdom come
0:28:32 > 0:28:33Thy will be done
0:28:33 > 0:28:34On earth as it is in heaven
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Give us this day our daily bread
0:28:39 > 0:28:42And forgive us our trespasses
0:28:42 > 0:28:45As we forgive those who trespass against us
0:28:46 > 0:28:48And lead us not into temptation
0:28:48 > 0:28:51But deliver us from evil
0:28:51 > 0:28:53For thine is the kingdom
0:28:53 > 0:28:55The power and the glory
0:28:55 > 0:28:58For ever and ever. Amen.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Despite it being Father's Day,
0:29:05 > 0:29:07I've not had too much time to rest, have I?
0:29:07 > 0:29:10And I've ended up making my own tea.
0:29:10 > 0:29:11Just typical.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I tell you what - let's all of us just sit back and enjoy
0:29:14 > 0:29:16a great hymn to finish.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46MUSIC: "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"
0:32:46 > 0:32:49News now of our next School Choir of the Year competition,
0:32:49 > 0:32:51which gets more exciting every year.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53We're looking for the best junior
0:32:53 > 0:32:55and senior school choirs in the land.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57If you think your school choir has got what it takes,
0:32:57 > 0:32:59check out our website...
0:33:01 > 0:33:04..where you will find out all about the competition.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06You can also watch all of this year's finalists -
0:33:06 > 0:33:09to see what your choir should aim for.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Although the deadline isn't until the end of November,
0:33:12 > 0:33:14now is the time to plan to take part -
0:33:14 > 0:33:16so your choir doesn't miss the chance to be crowned
0:33:16 > 0:33:18national champions.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21If you have never entered before, this could be your year.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23# Hallelujah! Yeah! #
0:33:23 > 0:33:26The Songs of Praise School Choir of the Year competition,
0:33:26 > 0:33:28where every voice counts.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Next week, meet God's architect.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33I'll discover why, 200 years after his birth,
0:33:33 > 0:33:35the churches and cathedrals
0:33:35 > 0:33:37designed by Augustus Pugin
0:33:37 > 0:33:39still echo his faith.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40And there will be hymns galore
0:33:40 > 0:33:43from churches and cathedrals which inspired,
0:33:43 > 0:33:48or were inspired by this grand designer's grand designs.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd