0:00:04 > 0:00:07It's Mothering Sunday, and I'm here in Basildon maternity unit
0:00:07 > 0:00:10in Essex to meet some brand-new mums
0:00:10 > 0:00:13and their lovely newborn babies.
0:00:13 > 0:00:15Welcome to Songs Of Praise.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40In today's programme I meet the mums
0:00:40 > 0:00:43and midwives bringing new life into the world.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46As a Christian, I think it's a calling to do the job I do,
0:00:46 > 0:00:49and I treat it as more than a job - I treat it as a vocation.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Pam Rhodes talks to the young Christian who's reaching out
0:00:52 > 0:00:56to those who find it too painful to go to church on Mothering Sunday.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Those who have struggled to have children or have lost children.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04To acknowledge that this day was difficult.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07And one mother shares her experience of raising a child
0:01:07 > 0:01:08with additional needs.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13When Barney achieves something, it's just like joy magnified.
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Mothering Sunday always falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent and,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27traditionally, it was an occasion for children
0:01:27 > 0:01:28working as domestic servants
0:01:28 > 0:01:30to have the day off to go home
0:01:30 > 0:01:33to their mother church and see their families.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Today, millions of cards and gifts are given to those
0:01:36 > 0:01:39women in our lives who have often spent much of their time
0:01:39 > 0:01:41putting us first.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45This Mothering Sunday is extra special for me
0:01:45 > 0:01:49because in just a few weeks, I'm expecting a baby,
0:01:49 > 0:01:53and even though this is my second child, I'm still both excited
0:01:53 > 0:01:57and nervous, especially given that we're here, at a maternity ward.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00But above all I'm thankful, and our first hymn,
0:02:00 > 0:02:04written for Mothering Sunday, expresses our thanks to God for our
0:02:04 > 0:02:09children, our mothers and all those special relationships in our lives.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Basildon Hospital serves over 400,000 people in Essex,
0:04:48 > 0:04:53and this maternity unit delivers over 4,500 babies each year.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58I can't wait to meet one of the most recent arrivals.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Hi, Natalie.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Hi, who's this?
0:05:00 > 0:05:01This is Aurelia.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Aurelia, what a beautiful name.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05And she's less than 12 hours old.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Yeah, she was born this morning at 1:03.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10And how do you feel? Is it your first?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11First, yeah.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12So it's just the most...
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- You're overwhelmed. - Yeah, just totally overwhelmed.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Completely in love with her.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18She's absolutely beautiful.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- Thank you.- And you look amazing considering you've just given birth.
0:05:22 > 0:05:23Thank you very much.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, my gosh, you are gorgeous.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Meanwhile, on a neighbouring ward, another baby is on its way.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36We're expecting a little boy, it's our second.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Name's going to be Eddie.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Just wish this labour would hurry up!
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I'm excited and nervous all at the same time,
0:05:43 > 0:05:47and tired because, obviously, lack of sleep.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52There are nearly 200 midwives looking after the women
0:05:52 > 0:05:54here in the hospital and in the community.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Joanne Hoare is one of them.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59It's not just about delivering babies.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Being a midwife is being with women, and that's what it means.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06So we just walk with them on their journey, in their pregnancy.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09As a Christian, I think it's a calling to do the job I do,
0:06:09 > 0:06:12and I treat it as more than a job - I treat it as a vocation,
0:06:12 > 0:06:14that I can be there and help those ladies.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17I've got twins, so it's been hard but I've done it
0:06:17 > 0:06:19and I've had the support of my parents,
0:06:19 > 0:06:21who also are avid Christians,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24and they've given me amazing role models of parenting that I've
0:06:24 > 0:06:27been able to adapt for myself and that I can pass on to my patients.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34So I hear that Charlene, your girlfriend,
0:06:34 > 0:06:35has just gone into labour.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Yeah, she's going to have a lot of contractions now. And...
0:06:39 > 0:06:42getting more nervous each time it goes along.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Well, I'm hoping that she might deliver today in which case
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- we'll get, maybe, to see him. - I hope so.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Yeah, really excited.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Fingers crossed everything goes well.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I'll have to wait and see if baby Eddie arrives
0:06:53 > 0:06:54in time for me to meet him.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57But now a hymn that celebrates all of God's creation,
0:06:57 > 0:06:59including family love.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41On any maternity ward, amidst the joy there can also be sorrow.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Deborah Olajugbagbe is both a midwife
0:08:44 > 0:08:46and a bereavement specialist.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48How many babies have you delivered?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- I wouldn't have a clue. - You've lost count.- Thousands.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Thousands.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Being on a ward like this is a very happy and joyful place,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59but I'm sure that you do experience some difficult days.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02How do you deal with that?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Yes, there are difficult times, and...
0:09:05 > 0:09:10..it's actually my faith that helps me through that.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12And I'll try not to cry!
0:09:13 > 0:09:18Well, what I believe, where babies go - I believe in an afterlife
0:09:18 > 0:09:23and that, you know, they're being cared for and that kind of thing,
0:09:23 > 0:09:28no matter what the gestation the woman loses the baby,
0:09:28 > 0:09:29and that really helps me.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36There's a Scripture in Psalm 139 talking about how God knew us
0:09:36 > 0:09:40in the womb, and that just is really encouraging to me,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42that we're not forgotten
0:09:42 > 0:09:49and those babies are not forgotten, even though they haven't survived.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52The best part is,
0:09:52 > 0:09:55yeah, when people have had a tough journey
0:09:55 > 0:09:59and you see them when there's a really good outcome
0:09:59 > 0:10:04and they're really happy, and just to share in that is really special.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09But for those who have suffered loss,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Mothering Sunday can be a difficult day.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Pam Rhodes has been to Liverpool to meet one Christian woman
0:10:15 > 0:10:18who's set up a service for those who can't face
0:10:18 > 0:10:19going to church on Mother's Day.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Lizzie Lowrie runs this busy Liverpool cafe
0:10:25 > 0:10:27as part of a church outreach project.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- Are you Lizzie?- Yes, I am. - I'm very pleased to meet you.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31- Nice to meet you. - It smells so lovely.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Yeah, we've been baking all morning...
0:10:33 > 0:10:36But the special service she ran last Mothering Sunday,
0:10:36 > 0:10:39here in Liverpool's Anglican Cathedral,
0:10:39 > 0:10:42had an impact way beyond her community.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44It was a really special service.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47So, it was called the Mother's Day Runaways service.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50And the service was for anybody who finds Mothering Sunday
0:10:50 > 0:10:52difficult, for whatever reason.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56If they'd lost their mothers, also those who have struggled to
0:10:56 > 0:10:59have children, or have lost children as well.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03So it was to acknowledge that this day was difficult.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06This is obviously very close to your heart. Why?
0:11:06 > 0:11:10I always kind of believed that my life would kind of move
0:11:10 > 0:11:13effortlessly from one stage to the next - that I'd meet someone,
0:11:13 > 0:11:16fall in love, get married and have children.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19And I've met someone, I fell in love, I got married,
0:11:19 > 0:11:21but I still don't have children.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24For me, my experience of childlessness has been
0:11:24 > 0:11:27through miscarriage, and I've had six miscarriages.
0:11:29 > 0:11:34And I always wanted to be a mother and that hasn't happened.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37What about your feelings towards God?
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Did it shake even your belief?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41It completely changed my faith.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46I think prayer is something, in particular, that is really
0:11:46 > 0:11:47difficult to...
0:11:48 > 0:11:52..navigate or wrestle with, when you pray for something
0:11:52 > 0:11:54and it doesn't happen.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Then you just think, "What's the point?
0:11:57 > 0:12:00"Why pray, when we've experienced so much loss?"
0:12:00 > 0:12:03But the thing about the Christian faith that
0:12:03 > 0:12:05rebuilt my faith in God was
0:12:05 > 0:12:11the principle of redemption that is kind of woven throughout Scripture,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14that acknowledges pain,
0:12:14 > 0:12:18but also demonstrates that God can bring good from it.
0:12:20 > 0:12:25Is the church sensitive enough to how you and others like you feel?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27I think in church we've lost that language,
0:12:27 > 0:12:32that vulnerable language of grief and vulnerability and lament.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35And so if you're struggling, you can feel very out
0:12:35 > 0:12:39of place in church when, actually, it should be the best place to be.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Do you think the news of last year's service has hit a raw nerve?
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Yeah, it's been incredible, the response.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50We've had so many e-mails from people requesting the service packs.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53And the people that came to the service,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56it was as though we'd all shared something together.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Thanks to Lizzie sharing her story,
0:12:59 > 0:13:02many churches are hosting similar services this Mothering Sunday.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04That was Blessed Be Your Name,
0:16:04 > 0:16:09a song that praises God in times of celebration and of suffering.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13And our next is a hymn for this season of Lent, which reminds us
0:16:13 > 0:16:17of Jesus' own trials and of his presence with us always.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Bringing up a brand-new human being is a daunting responsibility,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11so it's great to know there's help and support available.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15Katherine Hill is the UK director of the Christian charity
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Care For The Family.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21What would you say is the best advice for parents?
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Well, do you know, Katherine, I'm a mum of four,
0:18:23 > 0:18:27and I remember that first day, the first day we had our son,
0:18:27 > 0:18:31just looking at this little bundle and feeling completely overwhelmed.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33And at Care For The Family, when we go around the country,
0:18:33 > 0:18:37we say when it comes to their own children, there are no experts -
0:18:37 > 0:18:39not the people who write the books,
0:18:39 > 0:18:41not the people who speak on television.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Parents really need to have confidence -
0:18:43 > 0:18:47no-one knows their child like them, no-one loves their child like them.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50So there's no one way to be a perfect parent,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53but there are hundreds of ways to be a great parent.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Good advice. And when we think about the Christian faith, we think
0:18:56 > 0:19:00very much of God as the father, but is that all that there is?
0:19:00 > 0:19:03It's a wonderful image of God as our father, but there's
0:19:03 > 0:19:09so much in the Bible about God as a mother, as a mother to her children.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10And it says, you know,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13would a mother forget the child that she's borne?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15But even if she did forget,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18then God says "I will not forget you."
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It's that tenderness, that compassion,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22the, sort of, heart of God.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28There's a lovely story of a farmer walking through his farmyard
0:19:28 > 0:19:33after there's been a terrible fire, and he comes across a hen
0:19:33 > 0:19:36that has been burned - it's just the charred remains of this bird.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39And as he kicks it, there's a bit of a scurry
0:19:39 > 0:19:41and these little chicks come out from underneath.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45And the hen has protected them from the fire.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49And it just reminds me of that beautiful verse where Jesus
0:19:49 > 0:19:53looks over Jerusalem and he says, "How would I long to gather
0:19:53 > 0:19:57"my children just like a hen that gathers her chicks under her wings."
0:19:57 > 0:20:00And it's just that lovely, tender heart of God.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I love that. I've never heard that story before.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07I think that, actually, if we look at that mother heart,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10this isn't just about those who have natural children,
0:20:10 > 0:20:15but there is an incredible role that many, many women can play -
0:20:15 > 0:20:18humming alongside families and just giving that little bit of wisdom,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21and giving them support and encouragement.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23It's really, really powerful.
0:20:26 > 0:20:40# Ave Maria
0:20:41 > 0:20:49# Gratia plena
0:20:49 > 0:20:57# Dominus tecum
0:20:57 > 0:21:07# Benedicta tu
0:21:07 > 0:21:16# In mulieribus
0:21:16 > 0:21:24# Et benedictus
0:21:24 > 0:21:32# Fructus ventris
0:21:32 > 0:21:38# Tui Jesus
0:21:40 > 0:21:47# Sancta Maria
0:21:47 > 0:21:55# Sancta Maria
0:21:55 > 0:21:59# Maria
0:21:59 > 0:22:07# Ora pro nobis
0:22:07 > 0:22:15# Nobis preccatoribus
0:22:15 > 0:22:23# Nunc et in hora
0:22:23 > 0:22:33# In hora mortis nostrae
0:22:33 > 0:22:40# Amen
0:22:42 > 0:22:54# Amen. #
0:22:59 > 0:23:03The moment you discover your son or daughter has additional needs
0:23:03 > 0:23:04is difficult.
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Even 25 years on, Pippa still vividly recalls being given
0:23:08 > 0:23:12such news about her third child, Barney.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I remember it so clearly.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19He was born at home, which was planned. That was great.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24I was just holding him, relieved, grateful it was all over.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28The midwife said, "I'm just going to use the phone, if I may,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30"and ring the GP."
0:23:30 > 0:23:32I thought, "OK, fine.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35"Perhaps that's what they always do when it's a homebirth."
0:23:35 > 0:23:38And she came up about five, ten minutes later,
0:23:38 > 0:23:44and simply said, straight to me and to Pete, my husband,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46"We think your son has Down's syndrome."
0:23:51 > 0:23:53My mouth was saying, "Well,
0:23:53 > 0:23:57"he's as much a gift from God as our other two children."
0:23:58 > 0:24:00And I really meant that.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05But, inside, I had gone into...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I can only describe it as being like a bereavement.
0:24:10 > 0:24:15And I just remember, in that room, I felt like I was drowning a bit.
0:24:15 > 0:24:19It felt like I was holding on to God - I couldn't, didn't almost feel
0:24:19 > 0:24:21him, but I knew he was there, and I was just saying,
0:24:21 > 0:24:23"OK, God, help me. I don't want to, you know,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25"I don't want to go under, here.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27"I want to trust you for this."
0:24:28 > 0:24:31But my emotions were...in bits.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34I knew that we'd love this baby,
0:24:34 > 0:24:38but I just didn't know what the future held for him and for us.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41It seemed in an instant as if the things that
0:24:41 > 0:24:45I dreamt of for this child had kind of just disappeared.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49I didn't even know I had those dreams
0:24:49 > 0:24:51until I suddenly saw that they went away.
0:24:56 > 0:24:57Hello.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I'm Barnabas Martin Ankers.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01This is my lovely bedroom.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05The picture of Barney now is so different from those fears
0:25:05 > 0:25:08and imaginations right at the beginning.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11He's great. He has lots of interests,
0:25:11 > 0:25:13he enjoys talking to people,
0:25:13 > 0:25:17he loves food a lot, he loves drumming, he loves performing arts.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22So we're doing a summer show - I'm talking about Grease.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24There's all sorts of things that he can do that
0:25:24 > 0:25:28I would never have imagined, if you'd asked me on that July day.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Going to be... # Greased lightning. #
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Barney has a strong Christian faith.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40That's a thing I like to do in my life - to follow him, to honour him.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43It's nice and clean, but I think we're going to need to...
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- Iron it.- ..iron it, yeah.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49What's really exciting is that he's going for a job interview tomorrow.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Hopefully, he will be working as from next week, if he gets the job,
0:25:54 > 0:25:56on a couple of mornings a week.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58I think he can do it.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Are you looking forward to your interview tomorrow?
0:26:01 > 0:26:02I think that I am.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04You are? That's good.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05But, you know what?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08You're going to have to get up early on a Monday morning.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Oh, yeah, I do.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Cos I think you might find that a challenge.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Because it's really a big thing, a really big step for me.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19It is a big step for you, love. I know it is.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Many of the things are similar to having any child -
0:26:23 > 0:26:27because there are the frustrations and the pains at time -
0:26:27 > 0:26:29but the joys are almost greater.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33When Barney achieves something, it's just like...
0:26:33 > 0:26:35joy magnified, really.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38I think Barney brings a lot of joy into the family
0:26:38 > 0:26:40just by being who he is.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45And I think that we've learned to appreciate one another,
0:26:45 > 0:26:47all of us, actually,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50for who we are rather than for what we do or achieve.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57So, Songs Of Praise, my favourite song I like to sing -
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Beautiful Name It Is.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06And we're delighted to say the interview went really well
0:30:06 > 0:30:09and Barney got the job. Congratulations!
0:30:09 > 0:30:11And, back at Basildon maternity unit,
0:30:11 > 0:30:14it's time for baby Aurelia to go home.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18- Hello!- Hello. - Are you on your way home already?
0:30:18 > 0:30:19- Yeah, we're going. - Yeah, we are, yeah.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21- Nice to meet you, Dad. - Yeah, nice to meet you too.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25- Congratulations.- Thank you very much.- Oh, my gosh, well...
0:30:25 > 0:30:28- Don't you forget your Auntie Katherine, OK?- Yeah.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31- Oh, I'm so happy for you. - Thanks so much.- Thank you.
0:30:31 > 0:30:32- Take care, guys. - You too. Thank you.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34Get home safe. Bye-bye.
0:30:34 > 0:30:35Next week,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38the Rev Kate Bottley is celebrating spring
0:30:38 > 0:30:40on a Christian farm in Derbyshire,
0:30:40 > 0:30:43where the owners give new opportunities to young people.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45And we reflect on the extraordinary life
0:30:45 > 0:30:49and legacy of the American evangelist Billy Graham.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52But for now, there's just one more person I've got to meet -
0:30:52 > 0:30:55baby Eddie has arrived safely.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Well, my time here on the maternity ward is nearly done,
0:30:58 > 0:31:01and it's been such a privilege to meet some of the staff
0:31:01 > 0:31:04and mums bringing new life into the world.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07We finish now with a hymn of thanks to the one who,
0:31:07 > 0:31:11from our mother's arms, has blessed us on our way.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Until next time, goodbye.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16And I'd better give this one back to his mum, I think,
0:31:16 > 0:31:17even though I don't want to.