0:00:00 > 0:00:00- .
0:00:01 > 0:00:03- How y'all doin'?
0:00:04 > 0:00:06- I come here for a haircut.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10- What are we doing - Brad Pitt?
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- During the lead-up to Christmas, - the salon doors have been open.
0:00:15 > 0:00:20- The customers have been more than - happy to share their wisdom.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- I was angry. I was angry!
0:00:23 > 0:00:27- Kids these days - have better clothes than I have.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- That doesn't say much.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30- Come on.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- It's fun coming here. It's like - a social event. I like coming.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- Some things are best kept - behind closed doors...
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- ..for fear of turning - your hair white.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46- Three out of ten - have used every hole.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49- Every hole?
0:00:49 > 0:00:51- Would you do it constant for...
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- Would you do it constant for...- - 36 hours. What if you need a wee?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- She said the anus tasted - like chicken. That would be OK.
0:00:58 > 0:01:03- Here's a chance for you to listen in - on some of those conversations.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- Why does everything come down to sex - with you and me, every time?
0:01:12 > 0:01:16- Have you heard about the sexpots... - the sexbots... the rob...
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- I can't even say it. The robots.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22- Leave it there.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- # Sexbot, sexbot #
0:01:25 > 0:01:27- The song was Sex Bomb.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- That's it.
0:01:29 > 0:01:30- That's it.- - They blow up!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- You put batteries in the other ones.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- You know that sexbot...
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- ..do you think it can do blowjobs?
0:01:42 > 0:01:43- I don't know.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- Imagine if you had two, - you could have a threesome.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- If you were single, - would you have one?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- No, I have a right hand.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Your hand's more reliable. - That's true.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- It doesn't nag me.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- They sent me a sample.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- His name was Donny.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Goodness me.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Goodness me.- - It was like a draught excluder.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- Do you remember those? - Those sausage dogs.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- I have one!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- I have one!- - I ran out of grease at home.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26- Had you phoned, - I would have brought some over.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- Shut your mouth, Joyce!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- I'll need a Tena Lady.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- It's toilet day today. - Do you like the toilet?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42- What?
0:02:47 > 0:02:52- On National Toilet Day, they raise - money for countries without...
0:02:52 > 0:02:53- Toilets.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- Can you imagine - being without a toilet?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- I'd struggle.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03- Sometimes I get caught short - in work. I have to do it in a field.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- I squat behind a tree.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09- It's nice to come home - to crap in a toilet.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- Is your husband in there for ages?
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- He's in the toilet longer - than the time I spend with him.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- He comes home, eats his supper and - he's there for an hour and a half.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- I don't know what he does there.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26- Are you worried?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- Are you worried?- - Not really. I get a break.
0:03:28 > 0:03:29- Not really. I get a break.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- I'm in and out. What are you? - In, out, job done.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36- Depends what I've eaten.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- The only reason - I'm gutted I'm not a man...
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- ..is because I can't just stand - there and whip it out and piss.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48- Pissing into a pint glass - is easier for a man.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- You're not supposed to! - I don't know anyone who does that.
0:03:52 > 0:03:53- Neither do I.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- Neither do I.- - Pissing into a pint glass?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57- I don't know anyone who's done that.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- I don't know anyone who's done that.- - If you're desperate.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Piss on the floor.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Not if you're on a bus.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05- On a bus, no.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09- Do you spend a lot of time in there? - For some peace and quiet?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- What, you just stand there...?
0:04:12 > 0:04:17- I read, I take my phone. I'll go - through the news on my phone.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Play some apps, YouTube.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21- I'll take the Farmers Weekly.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Really?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25- I was at the Tregaron Races.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- I was enjoying myself - with the girls.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- I decided to go to the toilet. - I went into the Portaloo.
0:04:33 > 0:04:34- I did my business.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- As I pulled my trousers up, - I heard this commotion outside.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- I couldn't work out - what was going on.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- One bloke hit the Portaloo.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49- He was so angry, - the Portalooo tipped over.
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- Carys went down with it.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54- I was drenched.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- I had shit on me, - other people's piss.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- This blue liquid.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Can you imagine that?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- In the caravan, - I sit on the toilet...
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- ..shave and brush my teeth - at the same time.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- They say men can't multi-task. - You can.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Do you read the paper too?
0:05:16 > 0:05:21- I read the paper and then - I use the paper in the toilet...
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- ..when I'm done.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- Only if it's the Daily Post - or the Western Mail.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- That's soft, thin paper.
0:05:29 > 0:05:34- I don't like the Telegraph. - It's shiny paper. Good for nothing.
0:05:34 > 0:05:35- He's there for hours.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- He's there for hours.- - He doesn't know how to text.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40- Sorry.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Dad started keeping canaries.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Dad doesn't know - how to use the internet.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50- He has no idea.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54- My brother had shown him - how to use Google search...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- ..to search for things.
0:05:56 > 0:06:02- He typed in - "Birds for sale in Anglesey".
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Oh, my...
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- What came up in Anglesey?
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- The next thing you know, - he was shouting at my brother.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- "What's this Chinese woman - doing in the bath?"
0:06:16 > 0:06:17- Do you watch porn?
0:06:17 > 0:06:18- Do you watch porn?- - No!
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- You don't.
0:06:21 > 0:06:22- You don't.- - No.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- What else do you want to straighten?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Just the ends. - Just the end of each one.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- Do you like some porn?
0:06:30 > 0:06:31- Do you like some porn?- - I have watched some.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33- Really?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Don't knock it - if you haven't tried it.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- Do you watch porn?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40- Jeez Louise!
0:06:40 > 0:06:41- Jeez Louise!- - No, no, never.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43- No.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- No.- - Anyone who says no is lying.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- I was trying to watch a film - on the internet the other day...
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- ..and I've never jumped up - so quickly before.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- The kids were watching and this - thing popped up. "Don't look!"
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- "What were they doing?" "Nothing."
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- When you're young, you say, - "Porn, what's porn? What's that?"
0:07:06 > 0:07:08- Now you Google it. Ha, ha!
0:07:08 > 0:07:09- Now you Google it. Ha, ha!- - I like this.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- That's what I've heard.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- It helps with the sex. - Have you tried it?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20- You know more than me.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Do you have any recommendations?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- That was years ago. - It's just a distant memory now.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Have you watched - Fifty Shades of Grey?
0:07:32 > 0:07:33- I didn't read that. Any good?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- I didn't read that. Any good?- - I haven't read it.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37- Never?
0:07:37 > 0:07:41- Are you married? Bring me - your husband, I'll speak to him!
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- No, or he'll know - what he's missing out on!
0:07:45 > 0:07:52- 18-24 year olds, three out of ten - have used every hole.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53- Every hole?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Ears, nose, belly button?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- They mean the one, two, three. - Probably.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- Vibrators are good. - Do-it-yourself kit.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08- If I'm not there, start without me.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10- When Barry's working?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Batteries from the pound shop.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Batteries from the pound shop.- - They won't cut out halfway through.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- You get more of a shock from them!
0:08:19 > 0:08:24- Years ago, they sold do-it-yourself - kits in the bargain shop.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26- Did you buy one of them?
0:08:27 > 0:08:28- Yes, yes.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- I gave it to a charity shop.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36- They use real willies, - they put moulds on them.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- That's some people's occupation, - vibrator model.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Ooh, hi...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- Serious.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Serious.- - Hire a willy for a day.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Imagine sitting there - with a wax cast over it.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53- That's me!
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- My wedding cost thirty-six quid.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- That's gospel.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Registrar licence and that's it.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- Reception in The Ship. Lena and Alf - gave it to us for nothing.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Reception in the football club.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- Mike Fish did the disco - free of charge.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16- The families made the buffet - as a present.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Thirty-six quid.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22- Sorry, I paid a fiver for Viagra - for the wedding night.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- Forty-one quid, all in.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- They've just introduced - a new Viagra.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- Not a four-hour wonder, - thirty-six hours.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37- Would you want a Duracell bunny - in the house?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Thirty-six hours.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- No. I'd cut it off.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- Thirty-six hours.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48- Thirty-six hours.- - I'd be gone.
0:09:49 > 0:09:54- Thirty-six hours. - Walking around in work with a shaft.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- That's wrong.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01- Viagra for thirty-six hours - is something else.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02- Why?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- You can't have mm-mm - for thirty-six hours.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- Good God, no. Jesus Christ.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- It's somewhere to hang your coat!
0:10:12 > 0:10:13- It really is.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- What would you do if it was - upstanding for thirty-six hours?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19- What if you want a wee?
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- You'd have to hide it. Off to see - Mam-gu. "Oh, hello, Mam-gu."
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- You do a lot in thirty-six hours.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28- Poor Mam-gu!
0:10:30 > 0:10:34- In such a situation, - I'd have to tread carefully.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Oh, my God.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- More love will be shown - in Salon Yn Cyt after the break.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Remember that man - I fell in love with in Ibiza?
0:10:44 > 0:10:50- I tried to explain to him that - "cont" was a term of endearment.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53- "Oh, my God, - that's the ugliest word."
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- "Where I live, yeah, - it's a term of endearment."
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Those are nice for you now.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Those are nice for you now.- - Lovely, cont.
0:11:02 > 0:11:02- .
0:11:04 > 0:11:04- Subtitles
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Welcome back.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- You wouldn't expect to see Axl Rose - and Adam Ant in Magic Clippers...
0:11:17 > 0:11:18- ..Caernarfon.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- I've got a headache!
0:11:23 > 0:11:24- Are you Axl Rose?
0:11:24 > 0:11:25- Are you Axl Rose?- - I'm meant to be.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- You've seen me dancing.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- I've seen you dancing the slug. - How many people can pull that off?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Who can do the slug like me?
0:11:43 > 0:11:48- We're going to watch Steps. - It's their 20 years reunion concert.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50- # Tragedy!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Oh!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54- # Tragedy! #
0:11:55 > 0:11:56- Col's going to watch them.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01- Col's going to watch them.- - I can see tragedy in this mirror!
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- I like country and western and...
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- John ac Alun?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10- No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. - Bloody hell, no.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14- What about the Spice Girls - getting back together?
0:12:14 > 0:12:19- I've been waiting for this moment - since the '90s. I have.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24- If they go on tour, - I'll be first in the queue.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26- I liked Ginger Spice.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- I had a limited edition - Spice Girl doll. It was this big.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32- She was fabulous.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36- They filmed Spice Girls The Movie. - Brilliant, with aliens.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- I loved it. I'm so excited - just thinking about it.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- I'll have to go.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51- In the next 80 years, - we will have no fish.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- No fish at all.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- We'll only have plastic in our seas.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- When you eat fish in a restaurant, - you're probably eating plastic.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- The fish have eaten plastic - in the sea.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- You don't realise - how much is in the sea.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Who throws plastic into the sea?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- A lot of people, obviously.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- People on cruises. - Throwing things over the side.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20- I've never thrown anything - into the sea.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23- Thrown things - through the car window, maybe.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- A long time ago. When I was young.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30- You've said it now. - Don't pack pedal.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- We've been breeding - a special turkey this year.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- It has ten legs - so everyone can have one.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Do you know what the problem is?
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- We can't catch it!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- Some people make turkey cawl - and turkey curry.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Urgh, no!
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- That's the absolutely best cawl.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Vile, no.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55- Sprouts are great.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Do you like them? - I can't stand them.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- There's no point anyone going - to the toilet for an hour...
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- ..if I've had sprouts.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- There are foods - that make you think of Christmas.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- There are certain things.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- Every Christmas for me, - Walnut Whips.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- That's your thing.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Get your Walnut Whip out.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- Christmas parties are everywhere.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- Christmas parties are always - an interesting time of year.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28- You see a lot of things.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32- A lot of people who go out - are once-a-year drinkers.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- They don't know how to drink.
0:14:34 > 0:14:39- Christmas comes and they - think they can drink everything.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- It doesn't go to plan.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43- No.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- You've seen them in Wind Street.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- Oh... blinkin'...
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- They'll be blinkin'...
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- You're not like that.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- What the craziest thing - that's happened to you in work?
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- You work in a bar.
0:15:01 > 0:15:06- It's a case now of not what I have - seen but what haven't I seen.
0:15:06 > 0:15:07- I've seen...
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- ..we've actually had a shit - thrown at us.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- An actual shit...
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- ..thrown at us behind the bar.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21- We've found people in a toilet - cubicle together doing things...
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- They shouldn't be doing.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Things they shouldn't be doing - in a toilet cubicle.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Do you like a kebab - on Saturday night on the way home?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Too right. Especially if - I'm absolutely plastered.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Have you seen that with the EU?
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- Do you know the chemical - they put into doner kebabs?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45- They're getting rid of it.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47- What isn't in a doner kebab?
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Have you seen a doner kebab - the following morning?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Yes. Disgusting.
0:15:53 > 0:15:57- It's nice at the time but - when you wake up in the morning...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- ..and you can taste the fat - in your mouth.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- Do you eat kebabs?
0:16:03 > 0:16:04- Special burger.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- They might stop making doner kebabs.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08- They might stop making doner kebabs.- - Not on my watch.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- Not on my watch.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14- You know that elephant's hoof?
0:16:14 > 0:16:17- That massive thing - that hangs from the roof?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- It doesn't hang from the roof.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Kebabs don't do anything for me.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25- You won't miss them.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29- Having said that, it will be a loss - when you leave a pub...
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- ..and you want pizza - because they're open till late.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- You won't get cheesy chips - with garlic mayo.
0:16:37 > 0:16:37- I'm hungry now.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39- I'm hungry now.- - Me too. Let's go and get one.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41- Pizza's my favourite.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- Pizza's my favourite.- - From the kebab place.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- No, from the pizza place.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- You get up the next day - with a massive headache.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- The missus is cooking bacon.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57- You smell the waft - while your head's on the pillow.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59- This waft comes through.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Bacon! You come alive.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- What's the worst thing - you've put in your mouth, or eaten?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- Michael Portillo.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- I've eaten a tadpole.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14- I've eaten a tadpole.- - A tadpole.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- I ate a frog in Aberporth.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- A frog in Aberporth?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- A frog in Aberporth?- - Yes. It was on the menu.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- I ate escargot...
0:17:25 > 0:17:26- What's one of those?
0:17:26 > 0:17:28- What's one of those?- - A snail.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31- Have you eaten one?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- It was like eating a heavy cold.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- It was... It was vile.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- When we were young and we'd - go on trips, we'd play dares.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- We'd eat dogfood.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46- I loved it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51- I like a sailor. - Oh, yes, that white suit.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56- I like a sailor. Nain, Nanni Noggi - says I have a mouth like a sailor.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Do you know what they say? - You are what you eat.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- Isn't that right, Jo? I was telling - them there that I like seamen!
0:18:08 > 0:18:09- You like seamen?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- I do, yeah. - You know, a nice sailor.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- # All the nice girls love a sailor #
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Have you heard the scandal - about Anne Robinson on Tinder?
0:18:24 > 0:18:25- Oh, my God.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- She has more of a sex life - than most people.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- Anne Robinson said, "Sex is better - at 73," and she's on Tinder.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- And she's a redhead. - You two could be best friends.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- I'm on Match.com and Zoosk.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41- You are?
0:18:41 > 0:18:42- You are?- - Yes.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- I don't like Tinder - because it's free.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- I think if men pay, - they're more serious.
0:18:50 > 0:18:51- Fair enough.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- You pay for Zoosk and Match.com
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- Anne Robinson - is a cheaper version of you.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- It's free, it's free.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Cheaper quality men.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- Cheaper quality men!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Imagine Anne Robinson. - Swipe, swipe, yes.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- Fuckin' hell, yuck!
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- It's disgusting, she's 74. - She's passed her sell-by-date.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- When you're 73, - you're not going to be having sex?
0:19:20 > 0:19:22- I might break a hip.
0:19:22 > 0:19:27- I don't know what positions - Aled puts you in, but Jesus Christ!
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- 73 Ceri, 73.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- Your grandparents - are probably still having sex.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- It's true.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40- That's life.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43- It makes no difference - if you're 23 or 73.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- They're still at it, - like rabbits probably.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- My man and me have broken up.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- Finally.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- After three years.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- He wasn't good enough for you, - anyway.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- He was too thin.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- But he had a big one.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- Bloody hell.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- I like a large, hairy pussy.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- You can't say a thing.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- That was totally innocent - but Joyce...!
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- Be careful where you buy your tuna.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- You know Fukushima in Japan?
0:20:28 > 0:20:29- Fukushima.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Have you seen the octopuses?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Do you have any in Aberporth?
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- How odd. - And they were moving around.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Then they died.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Testicles everywhere on the beach.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49- What?
0:20:49 > 0:20:50- What?- - Ooh!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53- Testicles?
0:20:54 > 0:20:56- Tentacles I meant!
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- It shows what's on your mind.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04- You started it with the pussy flap.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- Do you like trick or treaters - calling at your house?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- They'll come tonight.
0:21:12 > 0:21:17- Do you have sweets for them? - Do you have a pumpkin in the window?
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- I haven't bought a compkin yet.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Compkin! - She's had too much Prosecco.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Look! Joyce is pissed as a fart.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36- After three. Merry Christmas - and a happy new year.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39- OK. Right into there.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42- That one.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- Go. Merry Christmas - and a happy new year.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49- Merry Christmas...
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- To everyone.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52- To everyone.- - And you.
0:21:52 > 0:21:53- And you. And me.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Merry Christmas - and a happy new year...
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- ..from Kirsty and me.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Merry Christmas - and a happy new year.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06- Ho, ho, ho.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Brill, boys.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- We'd make a great choir.
0:22:13 > 0:22:18- Yes, well, - after all this festive fun...
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- ..the only thing left to say - is happy new year.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- Don't burn my hair!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- Remember, - you can trust your hair stylist...
0:22:29 > 0:22:34- ..since everything that's said - in the salon stays in the salon!
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- Goodnight.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- It's all bullshit.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- For Maggi to be serious - for a minute...
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- ..some people in this world - can't deal with the fact...
0:22:46 > 0:22:51- ..that everything that happens - these days is totally bloody random.
0:22:51 > 0:22:56- Some people can't cope without - having someone driving the bus.
0:22:56 > 0:23:01- Well, newsflash. - No-one's driving the fuckin' bus.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:23:22 > 0:23:22- .