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0:00:03 > 0:00:04- One, two, three, in we go!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08- There are always interesting - conversations in the Salon.
0:00:08 > 0:00:13- You like cocks, don't you? Cockles.
0:00:14 > 0:00:19- Where the tongues - are also razor-sharp.
0:00:19 > 0:00:24- If he can get rid of ISIS, - well done. Go for it.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26- This is the place to raise hackles.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- This is the place to raise hackles.- - Controversial, babe!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30- It's controversial, but it's true!
0:00:31 > 0:00:34- The air as well as the hair - can turn blue.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36- These people like kinky grannies.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- This is a chance to see the best - and the worst of the clients.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45- This is what I'm born to do, baby!
0:00:45 > 0:00:50- All the clips that were swept up - from the floor of the salon.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52- Keep sweeping floors, love!
0:00:52 > 0:00:53- Keep sweeping floors, love!- - Done!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Lovely!
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Welcome to Y Salon Yn Cyt.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02- Oh! That's lovely!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- Yes. That's it.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- I wouldn't have been able - to do the Dry-anuary thing.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10- No. Load of shit!
0:01:11 > 0:01:13- Oh, you're not supposed to say that - on S4C!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16- I have New Year's Resolutions.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19- Let's hear them.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22- I'm going to behave better.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23- How was your Christmas?
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- How was your Christmas?- - Well... OK.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30- The dog ate the turkey - we'd left out on the kitchen table.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32- Serious?!
0:01:32 > 0:01:33- Serious?!- - Serious!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Have you got any pets?
0:01:36 > 0:01:38- Oh, don't talk to me!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40- I had a lovely white pussy.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43- White pussy!
0:01:44 > 0:01:49- My son Iwan has a bearded dragon.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- It's a lizard this big.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Thinking about it, - we call the bearded dragon Dave.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- We should have called him Colin.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01- He looks like Col.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03- How long is it since George died?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- How long is it since George died?- - Five years.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06- Is it that long ago?
0:02:06 > 0:02:07- Is it that long ago?- - Yes.
0:02:07 > 0:02:12- Goodness me. I'm sure - you miss him around the place.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- He's still in the house.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- What do you mean?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- He's in the living room - in a little box...
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- ..and I have his fur in a keyring.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- The last pet I had was a tortoise.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25- After that...
0:02:25 > 0:02:27- You know how they hibernate - in the winter?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- I watched Blue Peter and put him - in a box under the sink...
0:02:31 > 0:02:32- ..as instructed.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- Two months later, there - was a funny smell in the kitchen.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- We thought the drain was blocked.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- In April, it was time - to check on the tortoise.
0:02:42 > 0:02:47- I opened the box and lifted him out - and his head and legs fell off.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52- I never watched Blue Peter - after that.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- You have a seagull?!
0:02:54 > 0:02:55- You don't!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57- It's lived with me for four years.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- It's lived with me for four years.- - No way!
0:02:59 > 0:03:00- Dear me.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02- I've just left him.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04- I gave him a big crust.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06- I gave him a big crust.- - Did you hear that, Steff?
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- Yes, she's told me before.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- I call him Wil.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- My mum was trying to learn - how to say seagull in Welsh.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- She was told it was "pwdin blew" - (Welsh slang for women's pubes).
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- She was saying to these old people - in the street...
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- .."Look at these bloody pwdin blews. - They're everywhere!"
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- Brilliant!
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Steph, my throat feels like - I've been eating sawdust.
0:03:38 > 0:03:42- Where has she been skiving? - You'll be replaced by a robot!
0:03:43 > 0:03:44- Yes!
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- "My name is...", - then it would stick.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- It would stutter - "My, my, my. - Warning!" Then it would explode.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52- That's how a robot would be.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- I've got enough things - that need batteries!
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Imagine sticking batteries - in this lot!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Steph is slow bringing me a drink - as it is.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- Maybe that's what she needs, - a battery up her arse!
0:04:07 > 0:04:11- What's the most you've ever spent - on a handbag or shoes?
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- I think about 180 on a handbag.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16- Have you?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17- Have you?- - It was a Radley.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21- Michael spent that on me - as a Christmas present.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26- I think I've spent 350 on shoes.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28- For shoes?
0:04:28 > 0:04:29- They were Jimmy Choos.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- They were Jimmy Choos.- - Jimmy Choos.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Do you use them as ornaments - or will you actually use them?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- The first thing you have to do - is see what the weather's like.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- Too wet, you can't wear them. - Too dry, they get dusty.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- It's too warm or too cold. - It's got to be right.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48- I like the tattoos today.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49- I had to get them out.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- I had to get them out.- - Very, very nice.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- My son is getting a sleeve done - at the moment.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- I've seen it, it's a clock.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- What?
0:04:58 > 0:04:59- A clock!
0:04:59 > 0:05:00- A clock!- - Oh, yes!
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- A clock!
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- What's the difference - between a man having his hair cut...
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- ..and feeling better about himself - and a woman having a boob job?
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- If it makes you feel better, fine. - I'd never moan about it.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19- Without any hair, your head's cold.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- If you have small boobs, - are they cold?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- Donald Trump, - I don't like that man at all.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- I think he's a bad man.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- If we colour your hair right, - you'd look just like him.
0:05:32 > 0:05:37- I think you and Huw should - go out there to sort his hair out.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39- Oh, please.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- I wouldn't want to touch him - with my hands. Dear me, he's filthy.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Imagine waking up - with him next to you.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- You'd want plenty of money for that!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Goodness me!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- What about these scandals?
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- With that Russian bloke.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01- With that Russian bloke.- - Putin.
0:06:01 > 0:06:02- Him.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03- And the prostitutes!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- Exactly.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Exactly.- - Prostitutes, Donna!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- This could only happen in America.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13- You wouldn't go - to get your hair cut...
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- ..by a guy - who's never cut hair before.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21- You wouldn't go to see a doctor - and he wasn't trained.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Would you take your car to a man - who'd never looked at one?
0:06:25 > 0:06:26- No.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- America have picked a president - who's never been a politician.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- He's not been a senator, - a congressman, governor...
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- ..been on a parish council, - none of them, and now he's top man!
0:06:38 > 0:06:43- In my opinion, if a donkey ran, - the Americans would vote for him.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Well, - it's what they've done this time!
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- This year, we'll get to see - what kind of president he'll be.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- If he can get rid of ISIS, - well done. Go for it.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- A lot of people hate Trump...
0:06:57 > 0:07:01- ..because he's said things - that you're not supposed to say.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- He says what he says - because he's realistic.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Women are down here and men are up - there. That's how it's going to be.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- As I said to another customer...
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- ..women do have their 'monthlies'.
0:07:15 > 0:07:20- Our minds aren't straight whereas - men's minds are always straight.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- If a big debate is taking place...
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- ..and there's a hormonal person - and a strong man speaking...
0:07:28 > 0:07:31- ..the man will be able - to have an answer every time.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Controversial, babe.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- Controversial, babe.- - It's controversial but it's true.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37- Do you watch Eurovision?
0:07:38 > 0:07:39- No, I don't.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- No, I don't.- - I don't blame you, it's rubbish.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- I think the judges - will be very happy...
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- ..with the fact - that we've come out of Europe!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- It won't make any difference.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54- It won't make any difference.- - Not at all.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- It will still be "Nul Points"!
0:07:56 > 0:07:57- It will still be "Nul Points"!- - Still "Nul Points"!
0:07:58 > 0:07:59- Do you remember Conchita?
0:08:00 > 0:08:01- The bearded lady.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- The bearded lady.- - The man who thought he was a woman.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- Cross-dressers, as they're known.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07- That's not right.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- These men who think they're women.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13- It's not right, isn't it, Joyce?
0:08:13 > 0:08:14- Good Lord, no.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- Conchita.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18- Cont-chita.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- Shit, I can't say that! Sorry!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24- Sorry. Cut! Cut!
0:08:25 > 0:08:26- Oh, my God!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- I know the Queen.
0:08:30 > 0:08:35- I've looked after her a few times - when she's been here.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- "I'm royalty.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39- "You cheeky, saucy mare."
0:08:39 > 0:08:40- Like that.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42- I like Harry.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- I prefer Harry. He's very naughty.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46- I love him.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47- I love him.- - He's great.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- You'd take him home to your mum.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52- Me and Kate...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Oh. They lived down the road.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- People suggested - they'd only built a Waitrose...
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- ..so that Kate could do her shopping - there, but she liked Lidl's.
0:09:05 > 0:09:05- That's where she liked to shop?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- That's where she liked to shop?- - That's where she liked to go.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11- I went to Waitrose - and fell into the deep freeze.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12- No!
0:09:12 > 0:09:13- No!- - Yes.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17- I never went to Waitrose with Kate, - but Kate and I were mates.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- She's very plain, bless her, - and so thin.
0:09:20 > 0:09:21- You were talking about doughnuts.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24- You were talking about doughnuts.- - She could do with some doughnuts.
0:09:24 > 0:09:29- She should be tied to a radiator - and fed a bucketful of doughnuts.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- Good grief, she's so thin. - Isn't she thin? Ever so thin.
0:09:33 > 0:09:34- Tie her to a radiator!
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Tie her to a radiator!- - I never want to be that thin.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Anyway, - do you know what happened, Joyce?
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- They won't put this on S4C - but I'll tell you anyway.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- We were going out one day.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- Kate turned to me and said...
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- .."Good Lord. Look at all of them - over there dogging."
0:09:51 > 0:09:56- I replied, "Dogging?! Kate, - goodness me, it's a car boot sale."
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- She turned to me. - Do you know what she said?
0:10:00 > 0:10:04- "Either way, it's a load of people - getting fucked in a car park."
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Kate!
0:10:11 > 0:10:15- She's had to become more serious - since becoming a princess.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- You can't change the past - but you can affect what's to come.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Very true.
0:10:22 > 0:10:28- We'll have more clippings from - the Salon floor after the break.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- I bought a spade at the Winter Fair - six years ago.
0:10:32 > 0:10:33- You haven't used it yet.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34- You haven't used it yet.- - I haven't used it yet!
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- I've paid for this spade and - I haven't done anything with it yet.
0:10:40 > 0:10:40- .
0:10:43 > 0:10:43- Subtitles
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Aren't these apps good?
0:10:51 > 0:10:51- Absolutely.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- Absolutely.- - I'm a big fan of the social media.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55- Are you?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57- I'm all over them!
0:10:57 > 0:10:58- I'm all over them!- - Are you?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- I'm like a social media whore.
0:11:01 > 0:11:01- No, you're not.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02- No, you're not.- - Oh, but I am.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- I'm not on Twitter. - I don't understand Twitter.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08- You're on Tinder.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- Swipe left, swipe right.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Everyone get's swiped right.
0:11:12 > 0:11:17- Even if they're fat, - ugly and wear spectacles.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18- And the dating sites.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- You're not on those!
0:11:21 > 0:11:22- You're not on those!- - Of course I am.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- He doesn't mind me having a pudding!
0:11:26 > 0:11:27- She is 42.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29- Wow!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Wow!- - Yes, she's ugly.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34- You haven't had a swipe - from her yet.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- If they are a little conservative, - I never have been.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- I'm on Christian Mingle too.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- You are not!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- A little chapel girl!
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- It's St Dwynwen's Day on Wednesday.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- You're a bit of a romantic.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55- Do you want to know what she gets?
0:11:55 > 0:11:56- Do you want to know what she gets?- - Go on.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- I get up first and prepare - a light breakfast in bed.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03- She likes peppermint tea.
0:12:03 > 0:12:09- She gets up at 9.30am and we go - for a jog. Why are you laughing?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- It's St Dwynwen's Day - every day at ours!
0:12:12 > 0:12:13- Oh, really?
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- Then we have lunch in Beaumaris.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Go for a walk to Llanddwyn.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Jason, we haven't finished yet!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- What have you got for Huw?
0:12:24 > 0:12:25- What have you got for Huw?- - Nothing!
0:12:26 > 0:12:28- We'll have food in Beaumaris.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- She has a salmon sandwich - and I have prawns.
0:12:31 > 0:12:32- I'll have an early night.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- You're having an early night!
0:12:35 > 0:12:37- You're having an early night!- - An early night!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- We then visit Llanddwyn or - Llantysilio. It's lovely.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45- Did you celebrate St Dwynwen's Day?
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- I used to send a card - and receive one or two.
0:12:49 > 0:12:55- As the years have gone by, - my hair has turned white.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56- As they say...
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- .."When there's snow in the - mountain, it's cold in the valley"!
0:13:01 > 0:13:05- We were preparing to go out - to The Cliff or the Emlyn Arms.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Then I had a call out - and we couldn't go.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10- Llinos was sulking!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- I bought sausage and chips.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- What kind of sausage?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18- We went to bed early.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19- We went to bed early.- - An early night!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- St Dwynwen's Day was fine.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- So you're busy?
0:13:25 > 0:13:26- So you're busy?- - You wouldn't believe it.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- You just wouldn't believe it.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- A lot of parties going on.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- Mind you, I've had to lie - through my teeth.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- Not to your mother again!
0:13:38 > 0:13:39- What have you told her that you do?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- She thinks I'm selling Tupperware!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- Well, you are selling plastic!
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- A lot of plastic! - Oh, Carys, stop it!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- What exactly do you sell?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54- Stuff from that woman, - you know, Ann Summers.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- Oh, her stuff!
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- It's taken off in Wales.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01- Delivered to your door.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03- Delivered to your door.- - No, I do parties.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04- Oh, parties.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05- Oh, parties.- - I model them, Donna.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11- On the way home tomorrow, - I'm going to Ann Summers.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- I haven't been there for years. - We have to get them a present.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- I used to go to those.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18- What?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- I used to go to those parties.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- What are your bestsellers - at the parties?
0:14:25 > 0:14:26- Lingerie.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27- That's what sells.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29- Good old lingerie.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Some of the women who buy it, - well, they just shouldn't.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36- Dear me!
0:14:36 > 0:14:42- A blindfold, handcuffs, cream, - ice, definitely ice.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Melted chocolate, oh, my God.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46- Strawberries.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47- Strawberries.- - And strawberries.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- And a whip.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50- And a whip.- - Bob's your uncle.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- You can get a vibrator there for 1.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- I bought one for Secret Santa.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57- I bought one for Secret Santa.- - Hence Poundland.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- She said it was amazing.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01- I wouldn't tell her - where I bought it.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- I said I'd buy another one - when the batteries ran out.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- Have you ever seen love beads? - They are very popular as well.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10- What are they?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- I'm not sure what you do with them.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13- Do you wear them around your neck?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- Do you wear them around your neck?- - Yes, like a pearl necklace.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Really? Have you heard of them, - Carla?
0:15:19 > 0:15:19- Love beads.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- Love beads.- - No.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25- There are these magnets - that you can buy.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26- Those balls.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27- Those balls.- - Yes, the balls!
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- Have you tried them?
0:15:28 > 0:15:29- Have you tried them?- - No.
0:15:30 > 0:15:36- Apparently, if you went shopping - and you were near to a freezer...
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- ..you'd stick to it.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42- You stick to the freezer!
0:15:43 > 0:15:44- I've missed out.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- The higher you go, - the more they vibrate.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54- Do you know how much they are?
0:15:54 > 0:15:55- Do you know how much they are?- - Yes.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Of course you do - but I was gobsmacked.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01- She asked - "Do you want a feel of this?".
0:16:01 > 0:16:02- "A feel of what, love?!"
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- "What size would you prefer?"
0:16:07 > 0:16:08- Do we want to know?!
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- There was a small, - medium and large one.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Then an extra large - and extra extra large one!
0:16:14 > 0:16:15- "Is this for you?"
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- "No, it's for Billy the Dog - down there!"
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- We don't want you to misbehave - on St Dwynwen's Day next week.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- I've forgotten what to do, Carys!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- Do you think I'd remember?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- I don't think you've ever forgotten, - Joyce!
0:16:34 > 0:16:36- What can you do.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- Sex in the nineties.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40- Sex in the nineties.- - They say it's the best.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Bring it on!
0:16:44 > 0:16:49- They say it's better in the nineties - than in the fifties.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52- It's because you don't remember - anything!
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- I'm sure he goes for hours.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Too slow.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- I'm no longer looking for a toy boy.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- I realise I'm too old.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05- Let the toy boy decide that!
0:17:06 > 0:17:11- Harrison Ford is more my age.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- I would do stuff with him!
0:17:16 > 0:17:17- A sugar daddy.
0:17:20 > 0:17:25- I don't want a sugar daddy, - he'd be older than me!
0:17:25 > 0:17:29- Goodness me, - he'd have to have Viagra!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Are you on Viagra, Keith?
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- She hasn't said - that I've needed it just yet.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- It pays to do something romantic.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- To show that you love your partner.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- At the end of the day, - you've only got one wife.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49- Supposed to.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Supposed to.- - Unless you've got a harem!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- It's a waste of money, isn't it?
0:17:55 > 0:17:59- You see these people - going to a restaurant...
0:18:00 > 0:18:02- ..and that's where they are...
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- ..whispering sweet nothings - in candlelight.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07- They can't afford it.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- Prices are going through the roof.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Instead of a bottle of bubbly, - she gets a bottle of Babycham.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- There's a bloke with a violin...
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- ..playing music - you don't want to hear.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Next morning, back to square one, - fighting like cats again.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26- How long have you been married?!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- How long have you been married?!- - 28 glorious years!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- What did you get - for Valentine's Day?
0:18:30 > 0:18:35- He was so busy last night, - I got my present this morning.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37- Oh!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- And he hadn't been shopping!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Too much information!
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- I'll be choking now.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- I don't want to choke you - with hairspray.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- You should choke on - something else!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Women really like me.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- I always want them to come out of - their shell and be more like me.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05- Be confident.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Sometimes people say - that I'm too confident.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- You can't be too confident.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- You can't be, it's impossible - to be too confident.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- Women want me now - because of my celebrity name.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25- "Girls, I ain't got time for that."
0:19:25 > 0:19:26- "Jesus Christ."
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- George Clooney rang me up.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30- George Clooney rang me up.- - George Clooney.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- He asked me for some tips!
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- You can sit on my lap today.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- You can sit on my lap today.- - Watch yourself, young man!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Something will stir - in your trousers!
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- Look at these ones but I'm not - reading this one, it's too rude.
0:19:47 > 0:19:53- I read it out in front of my mother - sitting at the kitchen table!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- What is it?
0:19:55 > 0:19:56- "The beautiful Elin."
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- "Rose are red, violets are blue, I'm - using my hand and thinking of you!"
0:20:04 > 0:20:07- Have you heard what's coming - to the pictures this week?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09- A new Fifty Shades of Grey.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10- A new Fifty Shades of Grey.- - Oh, that's tame.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14- They could do with Maggi's help - for the third film.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- I could be a sensual advisor.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Mr Grey would be intimidated by you.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- He would be completely intimidated.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- I'd like to see him - try and tie me up.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33- You'd watch that with the girls, - not with your partner.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34- No.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37- He knows then what to do - when you get home!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39- "Take down some tips!"
0:20:39 > 0:20:41- "Write everything down!"
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- "You know what's happening - when we get home!"
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Have you seen Fifty Shades of Grey?
0:20:47 > 0:20:52- No, I haven't read it either. I - don't want to know what I'm missing!
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- There's still time, Mary!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- I'm too old - and I no longer know the way.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00- I can't bend my legs!
0:21:01 > 0:21:06- I want to make a replica - of the room, the S&M room.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08- What kind of room?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09- What kind of room?- - Read the book.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11- S&M.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Whips and chains...
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- No, I'm only joking.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- If they made a Welsh Fifty Shades, - who would you have as Mr Grey?
0:21:27 > 0:21:30- Do you know who I like? - I don't know his name.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- The bald one from Byw Celwydd.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33- Him.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- He looks a bit like Gareth Thomas.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38- I know him.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40- Who are you?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Whoever you are, - find me on Christian Mingle.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- Oh, shit, watch out, - Karen's going to have a stroke.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- Quick, get her to Ysbyty Gwynedd!
0:21:57 > 0:22:03- Everyone is different. No man is - exactly the same as another.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- We're all individuals.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09- Right, how's that for you?
0:22:09 > 0:22:10- Right, how's that for you?- - Very smart.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12- Ooh!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Feel that.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19- Hot stuff!
0:22:19 > 0:22:20- Hot stuff!- - Oh, my God.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22- Oh, sorry, oh, my God, I farted!
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- I hope the microphone - didn't pick it up.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29- I thought it was thunder!
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- I thought it was thunder!- - This corset is so tight!
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- I was at Merched y Wawr this - morning with a Victoria sponge.
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- What's she like?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Who, Victoria? - It's a cake, you silly old bird!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- Sorry.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- I like to pop down - to Merched y Wawr.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- I've known that Jo - for a long time, Carys.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- From the Blaenau Ffestiniog - Leather Fetish Club!
0:22:59 > 0:23:04- She could spin a tassel so fast you - could dry your hair in front of her!
0:23:05 > 0:23:08- Good chats today, it's worth coming.
0:23:08 > 0:23:09- Are you off, love?
0:23:09 > 0:23:13- I'm Gough and I'm off. - See you later, Sharon.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- All right love, get out of my pub.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18- He's not all there, is he?
0:23:18 > 0:23:19- He's not all there, is he?- - No!
0:23:19 > 0:23:20- Bless him.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Spaghetti is also straight - until it's wet and hot!
0:23:28 > 0:23:29- Bless them, fair play!
0:23:30 > 0:23:31- I'm off, I'm being corrupted!
0:23:32 > 0:23:33- Finished!
0:23:33 > 0:23:34- Ta-ra!
0:23:53 > 0:23:55- S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.
0:23:55 > 0:23:55- .