0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains scenes which some viewers
0:00:07 > 0:00:14may find upsetting.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17It is our national game, an obsession.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20And the dream of millions of kids is to make it in the sport,
0:00:20 > 0:00:24just like their heroes.
0:00:24 > 0:00:31But since last November, football has been in crisis.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Hundreds of young people might have suffered from historical sexual
0:00:34 > 0:00:37abuse in the world of football.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40More men come forward to say they were assaulted as children.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44The Scottish Football Association have met Police Scotland.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Police say they've received 109 referrals of cases
0:00:46 > 0:00:48of child sexual abuse.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52Police forces say around 350 people have now come forward.
0:00:52 > 0:01:02The abuse could be on the scale of the Jimmy Savile scandal.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Did you have any idea what was happening to you?
0:01:05 > 0:01:09At that age I hadn't a clue what was going on.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Roughly, do you know how many times this happened?
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Oh, time after time after time.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Tonight, BBC Scotland's investigations unit uncovers
0:01:18 > 0:01:23new evidence about child sex abuse in football.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25He said well, you can't ever discuss this with anybody.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29I'm telling you as a pal in confidence.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34And I've held that confidence until recently.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38The men said to have abused boys in their care for years -
0:01:38 > 0:01:48moving from club to club, and child to child.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51And we reveal the untold story of the most notorious sex abuse case
0:01:51 > 0:02:01in the history of Scottish football.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Football ? the beautiful game.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07But for the last six months, BBC Scotland
0:02:07 > 0:02:15has been investigating a hidden, darker, side.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18We've uncovered new testimony that lays bare the scale of allegations
0:02:18 > 0:02:20of sexual abuse against children - boys who just wanted
0:02:20 > 0:02:23to play football.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25None of the former players you'll hear from has
0:02:25 > 0:02:27ever spoken out before, so tonight, for the first time,
0:02:27 > 0:02:33we give them a voice.
0:02:33 > 0:02:40In a quiet corner of south-west Edinburgh sits a piece
0:02:40 > 0:02:44of football history, the base of Hutchison Vale FC.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47It might not look like much, but for decades, this clubhouse has
0:02:47 > 0:02:53been a place where youngsters have come to realise their dreams.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Tam.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57It's run by Tam Smith, who's been nurturing
0:02:57 > 0:02:59talent here since 1986.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02This place is amazing.
0:03:02 > 0:03:10Aye, well, there's a lot of history in it.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14The walls are lined with photo after photo of teams of smiling
0:03:14 > 0:03:19kids, faces full of hope, proud to wear the yellow
0:03:19 > 0:03:23and black of Hutchie Vale.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Many went on to make it in the senior game.
0:03:27 > 0:03:33It's like a who's who of Scottish football.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36There's not everybody that's played and went to the senior game's
0:03:36 > 0:03:38represented up on the wall, but we've got John Collins,
0:03:38 > 0:03:39who's in this photograph.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41John Collins, Hibs, Celtic, Scotland.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Steven McLean there.
0:03:43 > 0:03:48Still playing, at St Johnstone.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49He was really a fantastic goal-scorer.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Used to score about 100 goals every season.
0:03:51 > 0:03:52There's Kenny Miller there.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54How old will he be there?
0:03:54 > 0:03:55He'll be about 13 there.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Leigh Griffiths was here for a few years.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02These two young guys are down at senior clubs the now, doing well.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Regan Hendry and Ethan Hamilton, Regan's at Celtic,
0:04:04 > 0:04:06and Ethan's at Man United.
0:04:06 > 0:04:07Is that a younger version of you?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09That's a younger version of me.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10You must be very proud?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Yeah, very proud, of course.
0:04:13 > 0:04:19Yeah, very proud of all the kids that's played here.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23I think it's just important that the kids are healthy and happy
0:04:23 > 0:04:26and we provide an environment from which, that they can
0:04:26 > 0:04:30thrive in, really.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Among the photographs that line the walls is one
0:04:32 > 0:04:36of a team from 1982.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38In the bottom row of the picture, wearing number four,
0:04:38 > 0:04:43is a boy called Jon.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Football was always a big interest in my life.
0:04:47 > 0:04:56From an early age, my father encouraged me to kick a football.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Jon was just like most boys he knew ? he dreamt
0:04:58 > 0:05:04of being a professional footballer.
0:05:04 > 0:05:10We went on an exchange trip and we had a small football
0:05:10 > 0:05:17tournament and I seemed to be, I seemed to play at such a higher
0:05:17 > 0:05:27level than everyone else.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35He soon caught the attention of a man there called Gordon Neely,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38who would go on to coach and scout at the highest level
0:05:38 > 0:05:41of the Scottish game.
0:05:41 > 0:05:47But this, Jon says, is when his abuse started.
0:05:47 > 0:05:54He took me into a room at the back of our hall and told me
0:05:54 > 0:06:00to take my shorts down and he put me over his knee and he proceeded
0:06:00 > 0:06:08to spank me, which I felt I had done something wrong
0:06:08 > 0:06:11and it was my punishment.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Did you tell anyone?
0:06:12 > 0:06:16Didn't tell anyone.
0:06:16 > 0:06:23Jon's silence seemed to be Neely's cue to escalate the abuse.
0:06:23 > 0:06:31Said I looked like I had had an injury.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34And same kind of thing, put me over his knee
0:06:34 > 0:06:39and started to spank me, then he asked me to lean over a desk.
0:06:39 > 0:06:45And that's when I was raped.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Did you have any idea what was happening to you?
0:06:47 > 0:06:52Hadn't a clue.
0:06:52 > 0:06:59At that age, hadn't a clue what was going on.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03You were 11.
0:07:03 > 0:07:0711.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12Could you tell anyone about that?
0:07:12 > 0:07:22No, I couldn't have possibly at that age.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27I thought it was my fault.
0:07:27 > 0:07:35I thought I had done something wrong.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Jon says, with Neely, he was never safe -
0:07:38 > 0:07:46even in Hutchie Vale's clubhouse.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50There was a massage table in the room and a cabinet on the wall,
0:07:50 > 0:07:55which I vividly remember.
0:07:55 > 0:08:01And he would start to rub my legs and it would progress
0:08:01 > 0:08:04from that to the point where I was getting raped.
0:08:04 > 0:08:10How many times did he do this to you?
0:08:10 > 0:08:13I can't be 100% sure, but it was at least eight to ten
0:08:13 > 0:08:23times over the space of 18 months.
0:08:26 > 0:08:33The town of Dunkeld in Perthshire, near to Dalguise Activity Centre.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35This was a place where, for at least 20 years,
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Gordon Neely took promising young footballers on outdoor activity
0:08:37 > 0:08:43weekends away from their parents.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I'm coming here with Jon.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47He says he was one the boys brought here -
0:08:47 > 0:08:48and abused - by Neely.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51When was the last time you drove down this road?
0:08:51 > 0:08:5736 years ago.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01A trip here, Jon says, will be part of the healing process.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05I'm kind of guessing it's got a lot of history to it,
0:09:05 > 0:09:14but the history that I remember isn't a very good one.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17I actually feel very emotional.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20In the main part of the building on the right hand side,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I don't know if you can see the window's open.
0:09:22 > 0:09:30That's where the dormitories were.
0:09:30 > 0:09:38Yeah, I'm done.
0:09:38 > 0:09:46OK, let's go.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51We've uncovered a catalogue of abuse claims involving
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Gordon Neely at Hutchison Vale, some other Edinburgh youth
0:09:53 > 0:09:59teams, and at Dalguise.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01But somehow, he progressed to senior youth development positions
0:10:01 > 0:10:11at several top-flight Scottish clubs - firstly Dundee United,
0:10:19 > 0:10:22where, we're told, the abuse continued.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24We've spoken to several men who've told us about abuse by Neely.
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Their verbatim accounts are voiced by actors.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Gordon Neely's MO was about power.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Punishment spankings too.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Lots of us youth players got them.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37He would make up stories that you'd done something wrong.
0:10:37 > 0:10:43He'd say, "We can sort this out in two ways.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45"Either we kick you out or you come and see me
0:10:45 > 0:10:55"and we sort this out privately."
0:10:55 > 0:11:05Sometimes he'd wait for the manager to go out, take me into his office.
0:11:09 > 0:11:19He'd have me over his knee, bare backside, spanking me.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25By age 12, Jon - like Chris - was training at Hibs,
0:11:25 > 0:11:29even picked to play for a Scotland youth team, under former national
0:11:29 > 0:11:31manager Andy Roxburgh.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34But what should have been the time of his young life
0:11:34 > 0:11:36was actually a nightmare, endured in silence.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Was Neely taking you to training?
0:11:38 > 0:11:43Yeah.
0:11:43 > 0:11:49He would always stop in the car park first.
0:11:49 > 0:11:56And again, he would always talk about football-related things.
0:11:56 > 0:12:06That was always the start of knowing that something would happen.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11And then I would have to go and train with Hibs after that.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12After he'd abused you?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Yeah.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18It was at that point that I couldn't do it,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I couldn't face going to football training.
0:12:26 > 0:12:32I lost interest in football.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37And your dad couldn't work out why?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Dad thought I'd thrown everything away.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43I could have been this and I could have been that.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45And you were carrying all this inside you?
0:12:45 > 0:12:47Yeah.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Alone.
0:12:48 > 0:12:58I didn't have the confidence to tell my parents.
0:13:02 > 0:13:08away in the background.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10He was front and centre, even sitting in the dugout
0:13:10 > 0:13:11alongside the manager.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15So was anyone at Hibs aware of Neely's abuse?
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Ray Hepburn, a sports reporter, was one of those around
0:13:18 > 0:13:20the club at the time.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24He had a close friendship with the late Hibs chairman Kenny Waugh.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28He says Waugh confided in him about Neely's abuse.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31He was a bit agitated and unsettled and he said,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35"We've got a big problem at Hibs."
0:13:35 > 0:13:36And I said, "What is it?"
0:13:36 > 0:13:40And he said, "Well, you can't ever discuss this
0:13:40 > 0:13:46"with anybody, I'm telling you as a pal, in confidence."
0:13:46 > 0:13:49He said we've had complaints by two sets of parents about Gordon Neely
0:13:49 > 0:13:52and his behaviour with some of the boys.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56And of course it was quite devastating news.
0:13:56 > 0:14:03He went on to explain that he had sacked him that day,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05had reassured the parents by dealing with it in a very speedy
0:14:05 > 0:14:15and decisive way.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16No police. No police, though?
0:14:16 > 0:14:26No police, no. No.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Some might say that this was a missed opportunity
0:14:29 > 0:14:31to put an end to Neely's abuse.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33It clearly was.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37But football clubs have to be pragmatic and practical and deal
0:14:37 > 0:14:43with it in a way that perhaps protects their ongoing operations.
0:14:43 > 0:14:52The manager of Hibs at the time Neely was there was John Blackley.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54involving Gordon Neely, and that Kenny Waugh and the club
0:14:54 > 0:14:55were fully aware of it.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59He says the police were never involved.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Hibs told us the club was co-operating fully with the police.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06In a statement, the club said it was:
0:15:06 > 0:15:11"saddened to be told" that personnel at the club at the time
0:15:11 > 0:15:14were "allegedly made aware of concerns" about Neely and,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17again allegedly, "did not contact the police with the concerns."
0:15:17 > 0:15:19This is something which "current policies and practices"
0:15:19 > 0:15:24would "prevent from happening today".
0:15:24 > 0:15:28It was a missed opportunity to stop Neely in his tracks.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Instead, he landed an even bigger job.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33This time, as head of youth development at Rangers.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Apparently, no-one at Ibrox was warned about Neely's
0:15:36 > 0:15:40criminal behaviour.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Under the new regime of Graeme Souness and Walter Smith,
0:15:42 > 0:15:44in 1986, Neely was given responsibility for turning Rangers
0:15:44 > 0:15:47into a powerhouse for young talent.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52But we've been told his abuse continued at Ibrox.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57I mean, he had his own office inside Ibrox and he'd call
0:15:57 > 0:16:01you in and he'd make you close the door.
0:16:01 > 0:16:06And he'd pull your shorts and pants down and then he'd spank
0:16:06 > 0:16:13you with like this kind of, like, rubber shoe.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17I mean, I wasn't the only one.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21He'd give you ten or 20 whacks for anything.
0:16:21 > 0:16:28I was only about 13.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Rangers told us it was aware of an alleged incident
0:16:30 > 0:16:31more than 25 years ago.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34In a statement the club said: "It is understood" the individual
0:16:34 > 0:16:36was "dismissed immediately" and that the "police were informed."
0:16:36 > 0:16:39"All employees adhered" to the "strictest codes of conduct..."
0:16:39 > 0:16:42And the club "would always cooperate fully" with the authorities.
0:16:42 > 0:16:51Police Scotland say they can't confirm whether Rangers
0:16:51 > 0:16:53made a complaint or not.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56We've asked just about every surviving senior person
0:16:56 > 0:16:58who was at Rangers at that time for more details,
0:16:58 > 0:17:00but they've given none.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03And we can find no trace of a police report being sent
0:17:03 > 0:17:05to the Procurator Fiscal.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Neely was put out of senior football, but like so many abusers,
0:17:08 > 0:17:12he simply changed tactics.
0:17:12 > 0:17:19I was playing with one of the Edinburgh clubs at the time,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22and a guy came up to me after a match.
0:17:22 > 0:17:23It was Gordon Neely.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26And he said he could make me a better player, and I needed some
0:17:26 > 0:17:33one-to-one coaching.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Said he knew all the big players and managers.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39So every other weekend I'd go up to Dunkeld.
0:17:39 > 0:17:47He told me I had a condition that was hampering me.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52And that he could help me with it.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55So he would examine my back side, and then he would put
0:17:55 > 0:18:00his fingers inside me.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Looking back, he was basically raping me with his fingers.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10I knew it was wrong.
0:18:10 > 0:18:16It went on for about ten minutes each time,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19but I couldn't do anything. I just froze.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23I didn't want to complain because I thought it would ruin
0:18:23 > 0:18:33the chances of me getting the trial he'd promised me.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42"Paul's" alleged abuse took place around a decade after complaints
0:18:42 > 0:18:45about Neely were made to Hibs, and more than five years after
0:18:45 > 0:18:49a complaint was made at Rangers.
0:18:49 > 0:18:59Neely had simply reinvented himself by organising outdoor activities
0:19:00 > 0:19:04and one-to-one training either here at Dalguise, or nearby Dunkeld.
0:19:04 > 0:19:10Over three decades, hundreds, if not thousands of boys would have
0:19:10 > 0:19:13passed through there under his care.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Opportunities to put an end to Neely's abuse ?
0:19:16 > 0:19:21either by the football clubs or by the police ? were squandered.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27Police Scotland is now investigating Gordon Neely.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30But that's come too late for his victims.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34In 2014, at the age of 62, Neely died -
0:19:34 > 0:19:38without ever having to face justice.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48who is still alive.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Someone who operated as a senior scout for years
0:19:51 > 0:19:58at the biggest clubs in the UK. He can't be named for legal reasons.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00At that age you think it's your own fault,
0:20:00 > 0:20:04or people won't believe you.
0:20:09 > 0:20:17This is John Burgess, who knew the man as a high-profile scout.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19His reputation was, you know, highly thought of.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22He was a scout for Rangers, he knew Jock Wallace.
0:20:22 > 0:20:27And he was pretty well respected.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29As a 17-year-old who'd had too much to drink one night
0:20:29 > 0:20:32in a local social club, John says he had a lucky escape.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36He says, look at the state of you, what would your mother think?
0:20:36 > 0:20:40He says, you can't go home in that state, can you?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42So I got in the car.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46I felt a bit queasy and he said, well, I'll put you to bed.
0:20:46 > 0:20:53So still thinking nothing of it, I went through to one of the rooms.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56I remember saying to him, is that not your room?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59He said, oh, no, I'll sleep in the spare room.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03So not thinking anything of it again, you know, full of trust.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07He says what happened next has lived with him since then.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Woke up with a bit of a fright.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13He was next to me, pressing himself into me.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Telling me you know, telling me what he wanted to do to me,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20which was quite frightening.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I thought if there is a race to the door, I'm going to win.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27So I got my clothes and got to the door and fumbled
0:21:27 > 0:21:31with the locks and heard footsteps behind me, but I managed to get
0:21:31 > 0:21:35out and into the street and made a bee-line home.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39It's something that never leaves you.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42I feel guilty about it, not doing anything about it then.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Because, you know, I'm older.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48I should have known better.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57We've been told the abuse became increasingly serious.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00We know of three men who now allege the scout
0:22:00 > 0:22:09assaulted them as children. One of them was Levi Stephen.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11He represented Scotland at youth level and had a career
0:22:11 > 0:22:15in the professional game, playing for Rangers, and Clydebank.
0:22:15 > 0:22:21As a 13-year-old, he was considered to be one of the most promising
0:22:21 > 0:22:23players of his generation.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26It was at this time he came to the attention of the scout,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28who'd allegedly assaulted John Burgess.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31He was now working for Liverpool ? then,
0:22:31 > 0:22:34the most successful club in the UK.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Levi's mum remembers the call from the scout.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40Liverpool, her son's favourite team, wanted him to come down
0:22:40 > 0:22:43from Aberdeen for a trial.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45He sounded very nice on the phone.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47But I think maybe not only Levi, but I was star-struck.
0:22:47 > 0:22:53Like, you trust. Och, it's like, Liverpool.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56You know, like. Wow.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00He convinced me that Levi would be in safe hands.
0:23:00 > 0:23:06I just wanted to play football.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You just want to play and play to the best
0:23:08 > 0:23:10of your ability and impress people.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Over the weekend of the trial, Levi was to stay with
0:23:15 > 0:23:16the scout at his flat.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19He would be captain, wearing the coveted number seven ?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22the same as his hero, Kenny Dalglish, who'd
0:23:22 > 0:23:24invited him to the trial.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28I played the game and then we got back after the game in his living
0:23:28 > 0:23:31room and he said, oh, there's a thing you can do
0:23:31 > 0:23:36to relax your muscles, do you want to try it?
0:23:36 > 0:23:39And I'm like that, well yeah anything that will,
0:23:39 > 0:23:43ken, help me recover and improve the game.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Levi says the scout gave him a massage, but he soon felt faint
0:23:47 > 0:23:52and had to be helped to a bedroom.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55So it ended up I'm on the bed lying on my back,
0:23:55 > 0:23:59and obviously I was naked, and I had a towel on my chest
0:23:59 > 0:24:07and he just, out of nowhere, he just flicked, flicked my private.
0:24:07 > 0:24:13And the next thing I know he's abusing me and
0:24:13 > 0:24:21things were going through my mind, just like, what's going on?
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Then obviously I climaxed and then he just says I'll go and help
0:24:24 > 0:24:31clean it up for you, left the room, came back with toilet roll,
0:24:31 > 0:24:33cleaned it off his hands and whatever and then just says,
0:24:33 > 0:24:36"Oh, see you in the morning," and he shut the door.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39So I'm like that, what, what just happened, you know?
0:24:39 > 0:24:49And it's like, well, was that right?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51How old were you, Levi?
0:24:51 > 0:24:55I think it was two weeks shy of my 14th birthday.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Levi says he believes the scout was grooming him for what lay
0:25:00 > 0:25:02ahead, the next day.
0:25:02 > 0:25:12We went to a market and we got back to the flat.
0:25:13 > 0:25:23And I opened the door, and I opened the door
0:25:24 > 0:25:34and he tripped me up and then he, I landed face first and he got
0:25:37 > 0:25:43and he tripped me up and then he, I landed face first and he got
0:25:43 > 0:25:50on top of me and he's trying to take my pants down and that.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55You could feel his erection, ken, in the back of my leg
0:25:55 > 0:25:56so I fought him off.
0:25:56 > 0:26:01I says, "It ain't happening," and he just accepted it.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05And nothing else was said.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08How long did you have to stay in his company for after that?
0:26:08 > 0:26:15A whole day. A whole day.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Levi says the scout simply dropped him off at the train station
0:26:18 > 0:26:20as if nothing had happened.
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Do you remember the train journey home?
0:26:22 > 0:26:25I was wrestling in my mind whether to tell my mother.
0:26:25 > 0:26:35Cos we're quite an open family.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Did you tell her?
0:26:53 > 0:26:57How do you tell your mum, though?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07I couldn't speak, I was just in shock.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I didn't know what to do.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13So I was frantic, I just says, well, we have to tell the police,
0:27:13 > 0:27:14we have to do something about this.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19But he's only like, oh, it's Liverpool, can't,
0:27:19 > 0:27:22don't say anything, Mum, it's fine, I'll be fine.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24But he wasn't.
0:27:24 > 0:27:30I was so scared of jeopardising his career.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Because he was up and coming.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36I mean, all the premier teams were after him.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39I think my mum had my best interests at heart.
0:27:39 > 0:27:46She didn't want to affect my future prospects, I think.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50I felt weak, I felt a bad mother. I felt I let him down.
0:27:50 > 0:27:56Because I didn't do anything at the time.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02were told about this scout.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07Remember Tam Smith from Hutchie Vale?
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Tam became aware of allegations when a former Rangers youth player
0:28:10 > 0:28:13told him that he had been abused in the 80s by the same scout.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16told him that he had been abused in the' 80s by the same scout.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19I said, you need to go to the police with this.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23And he was a wee bit hesitant about doing that.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27He was only 24, and never told anybody ever before that.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30After giving a statement, Tam says the boy never heard
0:28:30 > 0:28:32back from the police.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37Around a decade later, Tam says he got a shock
0:28:37 > 0:28:40when watching a TV documentary.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43I want to see if you recognise this.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46Oh, aye, I recognise him all right.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49The scout was still working with boys -
0:28:49 > 0:28:53this time, at one of Britain's biggest clubs, Chelsea.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56When I saw it I was, incredulous with rage.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58Had been to the police in '92 about him,
0:28:58 > 0:29:02with a lad who told me he'd been abused.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05A lad I've known since he was 11 years old.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08Tam says he phoned Chelsea to warn them he believed the scout
0:29:08 > 0:29:09was a danger to children.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12And he phoned me back the next day and says he'd never had any
0:29:12 > 0:29:16complaints about him and didnae see any reason why he shouldnae continue
0:29:16 > 0:29:19working with Chelsea, so that was that.
0:29:19 > 0:29:23I just felt that, do you know what I felt?
0:29:23 > 0:29:25I felt like nobody's really cared, nobody was bothered,
0:29:25 > 0:29:26that's what I felt.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29It makes me feel angry and it makes me feel helpless as well,
0:29:29 > 0:29:32actually, that nothing was done.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Chelsea said it was "fully supporting" police investigations
0:29:36 > 0:29:39on this issue, and "encouraged anyone to come forward"
0:29:39 > 0:29:42by contacting either the "club or the police".
0:29:46 > 0:29:48More than 80 men involved in football are being investigated
0:29:48 > 0:29:51by police across the UK, including this scout.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55Among them: John Hart, former physiotherapist at Partick Thistle.
0:29:55 > 0:30:00Jim McCafferty, ex-youth coach and kitman at Celtic, Hibs and Falkirk.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05And Hugh Stevenson, who was a youth coach and referee.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09And, the Scottish Youth FA has become embroiled in safety
0:30:09 > 0:30:13concerns over its vetting procedures for coaches.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Since November, Police Scotland has received more than 130
0:30:17 > 0:30:21claims of child sex abuse within Scottish football.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28It's not the first time Scottish football has been rocked
0:30:28 > 0:30:34by child abuse allegations.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37The founder of Celtic Boys' Club James Torbett has been jailed
0:30:37 > 0:30:39for two years for sexually abusing three young players
0:30:39 > 0:30:41between 1967 and 197.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43between 1967 and 1974.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45In 1998, three former Celtic Boys' Club players,
0:30:45 > 0:30:48including ex-Scotland international Alan Brazil testified
0:30:48 > 0:30:52against their former coach.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56Another former Celtic Boys' Club coach, Frank Cairney,
0:30:56 > 0:30:59was acquitted of similar charges.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04Although officially a separate entity, Celtic Boys' Club's history
0:31:04 > 0:31:08has been inextricably linked with the senior club.
0:31:08 > 0:31:13Founded by Torbett in 1966 with the permission of legendary
0:31:13 > 0:31:16former manager, the late Jock Stein, the Boys' Club took Celtic's
0:31:16 > 0:31:19name and club crest.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Over the next four decades, it would produce some of the club's
0:31:22 > 0:31:25finest players, including Charlie Nicholas, Paul McStay,
0:31:25 > 0:31:35Tommy Burns, and many others.
0:31:35 > 0:31:40Torbett's conviction for offences committed up to 1974 cast a shadow
0:31:40 > 0:31:48over the Boys Club's trophy-laden history.
0:31:48 > 0:31:52Rumours have persisted
0:31:52 > 0:31:54since Torbett was jailed that the full extent
0:31:54 > 0:32:00of his offending has never been revealed.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02I had to go back to the Daily Record's breaking
0:32:02 > 0:32:06of the story in the 1990s.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Its chief reporter was Anna Smith.
0:32:10 > 0:32:15Well, the very first whispers were a very long time ago.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18There was things you heard but nobody had been able to prove
0:32:18 > 0:32:20anything because nobody would talk about it.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22So nobody ever really got to grips with it.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Then, former players came forward to tell of their abuse
0:32:24 > 0:32:29at the hands of Torbett.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31And the one particular guy that I spoke to.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33I could see the effect that had on him.
0:32:33 > 0:32:34That ruined his life.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37All he wanted to do was play football for Celtic.
0:32:37 > 0:32:42And when you're getting taken away and, tournaments abroad,
0:32:42 > 0:32:44you're being groomed for stardom, but he was grooming
0:32:44 > 0:32:48people for other things.
0:32:48 > 0:32:55But were there more stories out there waiting to be told?
0:32:55 > 0:32:59This is more than 30 years of bound copies of the Celtic View,
0:32:59 > 0:33:03the official in-house magazine for Celtic Football Club
0:33:03 > 0:33:07and what they contain is effectively a comprehensive account
0:33:07 > 0:33:11of everything to do with Celtic over the years, but not just
0:33:11 > 0:33:14about the big team - also about Celtic Boys' Club.
0:33:14 > 0:33:19And anything I need to find out about the Boys' Club
0:33:19 > 0:33:23is bound to be in here.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26Some of the photos in here
0:33:26 > 0:33:32were taken by this man, Hugh Birt, who had been a Celtic photographer.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Birt's evidence was crucial in the case against Torbett -
0:33:35 > 0:33:38telling the jury Torbett had been kicked out of the boys' club
0:33:38 > 0:33:41in 1974 by Jock Stein over child abuse claims.
0:33:41 > 0:33:45And we've spoken to three other former Celtic Boys' Club officials ?
0:33:45 > 0:33:49there at the time ? who also say they were told Torbett was sacked
0:33:49 > 0:33:50by Stein after complaints Torbett had abused boys.
0:33:50 > 0:33:57The police were never called.
0:33:57 > 0:34:01But here, buried in the archives of the Celtic View, is the official
0:34:01 > 0:34:05account of how Torbett left Celtic Boys' Club in 1974.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08It says he's leaving because of business reasons,
0:34:08 > 0:34:13time constraints and is full of praise for Torbett.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17It makes no mention of course of any allegations of sexual abuse.
0:34:17 > 0:34:21Which means, if Hugh Birt was telling the truth to a Glasgow
0:34:21 > 0:34:24court 24 years later about the real reason for Jim Torbett
0:34:24 > 0:34:33exiting Celtic Boys' Club, it was indeed a massive cover-up.
0:34:33 > 0:34:38Three years after he was allegedly kicked out by Jock Stein,
0:34:38 > 0:34:43Torbett was presented with an award for services to the boys' club -
0:34:43 > 0:34:46by its honorary president, Stein. According to Birt's evidence
0:34:46 > 0:34:50to court, and to other sources spoken to by the BBC,
0:34:50 > 0:34:56some of those on the board of Celtic FC, including Kevin Kelly,
0:34:56 > 0:34:59would learn exactly why Torbett had been kicked out in the '70s.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Kelly took over as honorary president of Celtic
0:35:01 > 0:35:04Boys' Club in 1977.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07And yet Torbett had managed by 1980 to return to the boys' club
0:35:07 > 0:35:09and stay there till 1996.
0:35:09 > 0:35:14Why would you ever bring him back?
0:35:14 > 0:35:18If I was them I'd be searching my conscience
0:35:18 > 0:35:25because perhaps they should have asked more questions.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28The reporting of the Torbett trial suggested he had only returned
0:35:28 > 0:35:33the club in a fundraising capacity ? but what these reveal
0:35:33 > 0:35:37is that he returned to a central position within the club where once
0:35:37 > 0:35:39more he was coaching boys and managing teams,
0:35:39 > 0:35:47throughout the '80s and some of the '90s.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48Torbett had friends on the Celtic board.
0:35:48 > 0:35:52Kevin Kelly and Jack McGinn, for instance.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55The club gave a lucrative contract to Torbett's
0:35:55 > 0:35:59company, the Trophy Centre, which opened in 1984.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Kelly became a director of the business in 1986 and remained
0:36:02 > 0:36:05on its board until 2005.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10From around 1998 ? the year Torbett was jailed ?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Jack McGinn was an employee, of the Trophy Centre.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Kelly and McGinn's association with Torbett's business continued -
0:36:15 > 0:36:19even after he was jailed for child abuse.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21Kevin Kelly and Jack McGinn declined to be interviewed
0:36:21 > 0:36:26for this programme.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29In letters to the BBC, Mr Kelly and Mr McGinn said to draw
0:36:29 > 0:36:33an inference they knew of Mr Torbett's conduct
0:36:33 > 0:36:36is totally without foundation.
0:36:36 > 0:36:42Both said they would have done all they could to prevent the return
0:36:42 > 0:36:45of Mr Torbett to the Boys' Club had they known of,
0:36:45 > 0:36:46or had been provided
0:36:46 > 0:36:49with evidence of any historic abuse.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51Remember, Torbett was only ever convicted for crimes
0:36:51 > 0:36:55committed up to 1974.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58And we know he returned to Celtic Boys' Club by the early
0:36:58 > 0:37:03'80s, apparently with the blessing of the Celtic board.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05No-one has yet spoken out about abuse during Torbett's second
0:37:05 > 0:37:07spell at the boys' club.
0:37:07 > 0:37:13But what if he simply carried on offending?
0:37:13 > 0:37:16We'd heard about a number of boys who had apparently
0:37:16 > 0:37:17been close to Torbett.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20The same names kept popping up.
0:37:20 > 0:37:25One of them was Kenny Campbell.
0:37:25 > 0:37:31We tracked him down, and nearly 30 years on,
0:37:31 > 0:37:38he was ready to talk. Is that you there?
0:37:38 > 0:37:42Kenny had joined Celtic Boys' Club in 1985 as a 13-year-old sensation.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Tell me what it was like pulling on a Celtic jersey
0:37:45 > 0:37:46for the first time. Unbelievable.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47Words probably couldn't describe it.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50To be honest with you, that's how much it meant
0:37:50 > 0:37:51to me like, you know.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53Absolutely amazing.
0:37:53 > 0:38:03One of the best days of my life, still is to this day.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06One day you were at school and the next day you were talking
0:38:06 > 0:38:08to Paul McStay, just for example, or Frank McAvennie
0:38:08 > 0:38:09or somebody like that.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11I was like a rabbit in the headlights.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14How do you think your mum and dad felt about you playing for Celtic?
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Incredibly proud.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18Definitely.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21My dad especially, because he was a mad Celtic fan and all.
0:38:21 > 0:38:25It was always his ambition for me to run out of the tunnel at Parkhead.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28Kenny moved up to the senior team in 1989 after three years
0:38:28 > 0:38:32with the boys' club.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34He made around 20 appearances for the reserves but never broke
0:38:34 > 0:38:36through to the first team.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38But from under-14s right through to the senior team,
0:38:38 > 0:38:44Kenny says everything he did, was under the spell of Jim Torbett.
0:38:44 > 0:38:53Pretty quickly he became a hero of mine, pretty quickly.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56In my mind he was doing good things for us and that.
0:38:56 > 0:39:06What was he doing?
0:39:06 > 0:39:08Cos he pushed the chief scout at Celtic to get me signed.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10He pushed and pushed and pushed.
0:39:10 > 0:39:13It was between me and a boy called Paul from Eastercraigs, and I'm
0:39:13 > 0:39:16going to be honest in front of the camera and say
0:39:16 > 0:39:19he was a better player than what I was, but I got signed
0:39:19 > 0:39:20and he didn't.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22And that was mainly down to Jim pushing.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25I'd have jumped in front of a bus for him if he had
0:39:25 > 0:39:26asked me, guaranteed.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30So it was as if he had a hold over us.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33He must have had a reason for doing what he did but I know
0:39:33 > 0:39:40what his reasons were.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42Torbett won the trust of Kenny's parents, even spending
0:39:42 > 0:39:44a Christmas Day with them.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46So no questions were asked when Kenny spent most
0:39:46 > 0:39:52weekends at Torbett's flat.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55I was just sitting on the couch one night with him and he started
0:39:55 > 0:39:56rubbing my leg.
0:39:56 > 0:39:59He must have been trying to see how it
0:39:59 > 0:40:00would go, I don't know.
0:40:00 > 0:40:01And you were 14?
0:40:01 > 0:40:02Aye, 14, aye.
0:40:02 > 0:40:03Just a boy.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Just a kid, know what I mean,
0:40:05 > 0:40:13I just wanted to play football.
0:40:13 > 0:40:16Kenny says this was start of three years of sexual abuse ? continuing
0:40:16 > 0:40:19into his time at Celtic's senior team ? at the hands of the man
0:40:19 > 0:40:27he regarded as a hero.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29It would be him, masturbating himself in front of you.
0:40:29 > 0:40:32He wanted to talk dirty and things like that, you know?
0:40:32 > 0:40:34He would be saying things to you?
0:40:34 > 0:40:35Aye, aye, aye.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39I mean dirty to me was a dirty window.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42I just presumed it was normal ? just, you know what I mean,
0:40:42 > 0:40:52but again, today I know it's not.
0:40:58 > 0:40:59What did he make you do?
0:40:59 > 0:41:02He used to get my hand, and he used to wrap his penis -
0:41:02 > 0:41:05call it that - in a white handkerchief and he used
0:41:05 > 0:41:07to get your hand and get you to masturbate him.
0:41:07 > 0:41:11I didn't realise at the time that it must have been his way of trying
0:41:11 > 0:41:14to clear his conscience.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17Then he would, he would touch away to you and kiss away until you had
0:41:17 > 0:41:27an erection and then he would just take it from there.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Roughly, do you know how many times this happened?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Time after time after time.
0:41:33 > 0:41:34That was just the start.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36It progressed from there to then he would be giving
0:41:36 > 0:41:37you money and all that.
0:41:37 > 0:41:38It must have been
0:41:38 > 0:41:39turning him on.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41He would give you a ?50 note.
0:41:41 > 0:41:42While he was abusing you?
0:41:42 > 0:41:43Aye, aye, aye, aye.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46I think the most money I left his house with was 530 quid.
0:41:46 > 0:41:47Either 520 or 530.
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Did you tell anybody about this?
0:41:49 > 0:41:51No.
0:41:51 > 0:41:52No, I just thought it was natural.
0:41:52 > 0:41:58I just thought that's was what happened.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Did you witness Jim Torbett abusing any other boys?
0:42:00 > 0:42:01Aye.
0:42:01 > 0:42:06Same scenario as with myself.
0:42:06 > 0:42:10It was like a queue at the side of his bed, there would be two
0:42:10 > 0:42:12of you there, or maybe three there, and everybody
0:42:12 > 0:42:13would get their turn.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15You moved up, and you're waiting to be served
0:42:15 > 0:42:17like a butcher's or something, something like that,
0:42:17 > 0:42:18you know what I mean?
0:42:18 > 0:42:19It's shocking, absolutely shocking.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22And he would be touching each boy in turn?
0:42:22 > 0:42:28Aye, aye, as well as himself.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32Kenny is the first person to speak out claiming he was abused
0:42:32 > 0:42:34at Celtic Boys' Club during Torbett's second spell.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37But he's not the only one to come forward.
0:42:37 > 0:42:42I was contacted by another former player.
0:42:42 > 0:42:47Not yet ready to speak publicly, we tell his story through an actor.
0:42:47 > 0:42:51I went to a tournament in Noyon, France.
0:42:51 > 0:42:57I hardly kicked a ball.
0:42:57 > 0:42:59I'd been ill, but I went along anyway to the trip,
0:42:59 > 0:43:04because Jim asked me to.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08Somehow, when they were handing out the awards for the trip,
0:43:08 > 0:43:15I won boy of the tournament.
0:43:15 > 0:43:20I was confused by that, because I know I didn't deserve it.
0:43:20 > 0:43:27I feel I can now see what that was about.
0:43:27 > 0:43:34Jim Torbett abused me for the next three years, dozens of times.
0:43:34 > 0:43:42Touching me in his car, in his flat.
0:43:42 > 0:43:52He had a hold over me ? and I never told a soul till a few months ago.
0:43:57 > 0:44:02Jason's experience mirrors what Kenny says happened to him.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Which brings me to a story about Player of the Year.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08Torbett used to keep marks out of five and it was the last
0:44:08 > 0:44:10game of the season, and it was neck-and-neck
0:44:10 > 0:44:12between Brian O'Neil and me, for player of the year.
0:44:12 > 0:44:16And rightly so in the last game,
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Brian got a five and I got a four,
0:44:18 > 0:44:20and he beat me by one point.
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Now obviously, I've lost Player of the Year, right, but,
0:44:22 > 0:44:27there was a mad trumped-up thing called Boy of The Year,
0:44:27 > 0:44:31Billy McNeil, presented me with the big trophy.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Now when I think back to it, it's as if it's tarnished,
0:44:34 > 0:44:36you know what I mean, it's tarnished, it's no good,
0:44:36 > 0:44:39it's no good, because it wasn't done for the right reasons,
0:44:39 > 0:44:45know what I mean?
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Kenny's Celtic career was effectively ended by illness,
0:44:47 > 0:44:50before his life spiralled downwards into drink and drugs.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55He's now clean and sober.
0:44:55 > 0:44:57But how does he feel knowing Torbett was allegedly allowed to return
0:44:57 > 0:45:04to Celtic Boys' Club, despite previous child abuse claims?
0:45:04 > 0:45:05I feel aggrieved at that.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07If they had never let him back in it
0:45:07 > 0:45:09would have never happened in the first place,
0:45:09 > 0:45:12I could have had a normal life, normal people round about me.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15If Celtic had done their due diligence, as they always say.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18Best club in the world and all that.
0:45:18 > 0:45:19Aye, cheers(!)
0:45:19 > 0:45:23Know what I mean, he should never have been allowed near it, eh?
0:45:23 > 0:45:30And it wouldn't have happened to me.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33I wanted to confront Torbett to put these allegations to him.
0:45:33 > 0:45:41Neighbours told me he hadn't been seen for two months.
0:45:41 > 0:45:44Mr Torbett?
0:45:44 > 0:45:47Mr Torbett, Mark Daly from the BBC ? can we have a word please?
0:45:47 > 0:45:52I tried calling his mobile.
0:45:52 > 0:46:02Foreign ringtone.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05But I did hear from his lawyer, who told me Mr Torbett
0:46:05 > 0:46:15vehemently denies these completely false allegations.
0:46:15 > 0:46:18The lawyer said it would be inappropriate for Mr Torbett
0:46:18 > 0:46:20to provide an interview with the BBC and that
0:46:20 > 0:46:22due process of the law must be followed.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25A spokesman for Celtic FC said the Boys' Club was a separate
0:46:25 > 0:46:26and distinct organisation from Celtic Football Club.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29It was vital that justice was served at that time,
0:46:29 > 0:46:33due to the extremely serious nature of this issue.
0:46:33 > 0:46:39Celtic asks anyone with any concerns to contact them.
0:46:39 > 0:46:47The Scottish FA has launched a major inquiry into historical abuse.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49But our investigation has revealed fresh claims of abuse ? stretching
0:46:49 > 0:46:53back decades ? and repeated missed opportunities to stop it.
0:46:53 > 0:46:58The BBC is prepared to assist police in any inquiries.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02The reputation of football and those within it,
0:47:02 > 0:47:09who play the sport.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13And to those children ? who as men have found the courage to speak out
0:47:13 > 0:47:18? the beautiful game will be forever in debt.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20If you spend too much time dwelling on it,
0:47:20 > 0:47:21it's going to destroy you.
0:47:21 > 0:47:25That's the thing.
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Talk to someone ? anyone.
0:47:27 > 0:47:31Get it off your chest.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Tell your best friend.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36Just talk to somebody you trust.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39Why is now the time?
0:47:39 > 0:47:41Just so I can sleep at night better.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43The knot's away out my stomach.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45I've had a knot in my stomach for 20 years.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47I didn't know what it was.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49It's away now.
0:47:49 > 0:47:54You wouldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it.
0:47:54 > 0:48:03For a long, long time I've felt like I've been standing at the edge
0:48:03 > 0:48:08of a bridge but having spoke to the people that matter
0:48:08 > 0:48:18in my life, I've been able to get onto that bridge.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20I'm not quite over the other side yet.
0:48:20 > 0:48:30But I'm on the bridge.