0:00:02 > 0:00:04Hello, I'm Sean Fletcher.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08Here's what's coming up on tonight's show.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11We reveal how landlords are raking in thousands by renting out tiny
0:00:11 > 0:00:14flats to the homeless.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15And the government is paying how much?
0:00:15 > 0:00:18£938.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22£938 a month for this front room?
0:00:22 > 0:00:24A mammoth restoration begins on the Houses of Parliament -
0:00:24 > 0:00:27we find out just how big the task ahead is.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Every day, the fabric of this historic building gets worse.
0:00:30 > 0:00:36The problem is, it's deteriorating much quicker than it can be fixed.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39And shaking with laughter, a writer with Parkinson's
0:00:39 > 0:00:42makes his comedy store debut.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45My wife is no longer my wife, she is my carer.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47When I told my wife this, she said," But I don't
0:00:48 > 0:00:54care for you, Paul."
0:00:59 > 0:01:01How comfortable would you feel making big profits
0:01:01 > 0:01:03out of the homeless?
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Tonight we start with the shocking story.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08Landlords are buying up family houses, carving
0:01:08 > 0:01:11them up into tiny flats, quadruple the rent and then
0:01:11 > 0:01:14leaving us, the taxpayer, to pick up the bill.
0:01:14 > 0:01:19We send Mark Jordan to investigate.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21For several years I've been reporting on the mad
0:01:21 > 0:01:23world of London property.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Tiny door.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29The greed for profits in small places.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31It was just four separate adults in here.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32I've seen it all.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34This is an extension.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37They built it around a tree.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Why are you going to break my door down?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Why am I going to break your door?
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Because I think I'm Superman.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I witnessed the slum landlords and challenged the fraudsters.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Is there nothing you'd like to say?
0:01:46 > 0:01:50You pleaded guilty.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53But tonight, richer pickings than any TV property
0:01:53 > 0:01:59Guru ever dreamt of.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I'm about to show you how shrewd landlords are buying up modest
0:02:02 > 0:02:05suburban family homes, packing them with the homeless,
0:02:05 > 0:02:10quadrupling the rent and charging us, the taxpayers.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Welcome to a world where zone six family homes are turned
0:02:14 > 0:02:17into five tiny flats.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Divide and profit.
0:02:20 > 0:02:25So this one room, housing benefit is paying £981 a month?
0:02:25 > 0:02:28It's just like being in a cupboard.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31It's not that wide, look.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32I can touch.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Here on the toilet, my elbow is in the sink
0:02:35 > 0:02:37and my feet are in the shower.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Someone is making a lot of money.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41They've used every inch of space.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42This is not a flat.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43This is a single room.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45It is over £1000 a month.
0:02:45 > 0:02:55We are talking about ten square metres you are living in now?
0:02:55 > 0:03:03Across London, we're losing thousands of family homes.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06In spring 2016, this modest two bed household in zone six
0:03:06 > 0:03:12and it was ripped apart and partitioned into five
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and it was ripped apart and partitioned into five tiny flats.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Now he's got half a patio door.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20For them to be able to split the room, they talk the main door
0:03:20 > 0:03:22and split it in two parts.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24So by giving you half the patio door, they've got an extra
0:03:24 > 0:03:26room on the other side?
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Yes.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29These remote suburban rooms can earn more per square metre
0:03:29 > 0:03:32than parts of Kensington.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35On the street, you can rent an entire family house for around
0:03:35 > 0:03:38£1200 per month but if you divided up into five tiny little flats,
0:03:38 > 0:03:40you can earn around 4600 a month.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Gary was homeless, suffering early dementia
0:03:43 > 0:03:49and recovering from a stroke.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54Over 35s, housing benefits will pay for a single person flats.
0:03:54 > 0:03:59We got a sink in the room.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04It can be classed as a studio flat and a studio flat is £1000 a month
0:04:04 > 0:04:06as opposed to without the sink, it would be a room which
0:04:06 > 0:04:10is about £400 a month.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Using taxpayer's money, the housing benefit people don't
0:04:12 > 0:04:15even demand a minimum flat size.
0:04:15 > 0:04:21Crafty landlords have hit the money tree.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25I have worked all my life and paid my taxes and I think this
0:04:25 > 0:04:27is what the government is wasting, throwing their money away.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28It's a scandal really.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30There's even a certificate from Hounslow Council
0:04:30 > 0:04:31saying it's all legal.
0:04:31 > 0:04:38If you've ever struggled with the council over that kitchen
0:04:38 > 0:04:41extension or trying to cut down a tree, you're going to be wondering
0:04:41 > 0:04:44how on earth a council allows a small family home to be turned
0:04:45 > 0:04:46into five tiny flats.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47And here is how.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52Each house must have a communal kitchen.
0:04:52 > 0:04:59The house can then be treated as an HMO, a simple house share
0:05:00 > 0:05:01needing no planning permission.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03But the housing benefit people can still be persuaded that it's
0:05:03 > 0:05:04five separate flats.
0:05:04 > 0:05:05Hey presto.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Legal, tiny flats.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09So what of the one back in Hanworth?
0:05:09 > 0:05:11You would never have given planning permission on that tiny house
0:05:11 > 0:05:12becoming five flats.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Very unlikely.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Is this an HMO or five separate flats that you've authorised?
0:05:18 > 0:05:23As far as I'm concerned, it's licensed as an HMO.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26But then they tell the housing benefit people that it's five flats.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29That would be for the Department for Work and Pensions to answer.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30But it's messy, isn't it?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Extremely messy and I hope through your programme that we can
0:05:32 > 0:05:37start to unpick and sort out this terrible mess.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39They are working the system to make profit.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42At the expense of the taxpayer.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Even for a child, this room is small.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Why did you take it?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Because I was homeless for four years.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I was desperate.
0:05:50 > 0:05:58The only reason I signed is because you have nowhere else to go.
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Green Park Housing manage this property.
0:05:59 > 0:06:09There's five flats here.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21They say three flats are let and have taken a commercial risk
0:06:21 > 0:06:23on people most wooden shelter saving the taxpayer thousands
0:06:23 > 0:06:24on emergency housing.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Elsewhere, other landlords provide similar accommodation.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Investigating officer, Ben Lewis, advises four London boroughs.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29We're in Lewisham.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32If you are getting £5,000 a month on a single property and you've
0:06:32 > 0:06:35got hundreds of them operating, go figure.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37It is cat and mouse, isn't it?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Yes.
0:06:39 > 0:06:44They know the rules, know how to create that smoke screen
0:06:44 > 0:06:47that keeps enforcement officers running round in circles.
0:06:47 > 0:06:52Every house we visit has that communal kitchen.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55If there is planning breach, they can argue that it has not been
0:06:55 > 0:06:58converted into separate flats because there is shared kitchen.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02It is like they've got a each camp.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08Things get curiouser get curiouser and curiouser.
0:07:08 > 0:07:17Housing benefit demands each flat has a bathroom and kitchen yet here,
0:07:17 > 0:07:19taxpayers are paying for flats you can't cook in.
0:07:19 > 0:07:25He put up a notice that there wasn't to be cooking
0:07:25 > 0:07:28He put up a notice that there wasn't to be cooking in the rooms any more.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Confused?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32It is a constant game of sliding doors and smoke and mirrors.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34I want Theresa May in here.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37If I was working, there is no way on earth I would pay that
0:07:37 > 0:07:38money to pay in this.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40So would anyone other than the taxpayer pay £930
0:07:41 > 0:07:42for a tiny place in zone six?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I placed an ad on gumtree specifying no DSS.
0:07:44 > 0:07:51It's hardly scientific but not a single inquiry in two weeks.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Recruiting the homeless seems so much easier.
0:07:54 > 0:08:02Landlords offer their property at churches and shelters.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06I was glad that I was going in the door and locking the door
0:08:06 > 0:08:10behind me and nobody could interfere with me.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15It was from heaven.
0:08:15 > 0:08:24I signed my signature on the tablet, actually, with my finger.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I was only too pleased to have somewhere of my own.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Successive governments have paid fortunes to private landlords
0:08:29 > 0:08:34to provide this shelter but after 55 years as a homeless charity,
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Saint Giles Trust say they can no longer be a part of it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40We have stopped housing people in London because we feel we can't
0:08:40 > 0:08:43support them any longer.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46We are being asked to house people in the private rental sector
0:08:46 > 0:08:47in converted garages.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49It's wrong.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52They are not fit the purpose.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58But they are the only thing around.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00This is obviously not where you wanted to end up.
0:09:00 > 0:09:05I have been thinking, is this the end for me?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Is this how life finishes, like this?
0:09:07 > 0:09:08It is depressing, it's very lonely.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12Is this it for me?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15This has been a depressing investigation.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Millions in taxpayer money and most councils telling me there's
0:09:17 > 0:09:24nothing they can do.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27But this council thinks the taxpayer is being robbed and it can
0:09:27 > 0:09:29and should stop right now.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32The council, can you open the door, please?
0:09:32 > 0:09:36We have discovered there is a self-contained flat
0:09:36 > 0:09:39within your property.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41They cross reference benefit claim data against
0:09:41 > 0:09:42planning applications on their compulsory
0:09:42 > 0:09:46landlord register.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48The licenses for a house.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50The landlord could be fined and lose licence.
0:09:50 > 0:09:55It's an absolutely disgusting thing.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58We press you into a small place, rip off the taxpayer and the poor
0:09:58 > 0:10:05people there have no choice.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07We need to do something.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09We need to start caring about the people who are forced
0:10:10 > 0:10:13into these conditions.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16With most London boroughs refusing to take part in this programme,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I'm taking my findings to the chair of a Commons committee
0:10:19 > 0:10:20investigating landlords.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Unbelievable.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26These landlords know the system and they are running circles around
0:10:26 > 0:10:31the councils and their offices.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34A lot of people watching this are going to think we are shovelling
0:10:34 > 0:10:35money at these landlords.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36And they would be absolutely right.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38We are.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40What are you hoping the committee will be able to do?
0:10:40 > 0:10:45To look at this and put questions directly to government ministers.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49How can you justify paying out as a government this amount of money
0:10:49 > 0:10:52for this standard of property?
0:10:52 > 0:10:56The select committee has a copy of this film.
0:10:56 > 0:11:00It is small but it is my home for now.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Mark Jordan reporting.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Still to come...
0:11:05 > 0:11:11One of the things I noticed was that I take some pills first thing
0:11:11 > 0:11:14in the morning and as it's coming up to lunchtime, I'm having
0:11:14 > 0:11:18to take some more pills because they are wearing off.
0:11:18 > 0:11:23My footsteps which are normally quite normal have now turned
0:11:23 > 0:11:32into a David Suchet, Poirot.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36It's the mother of all parliaments.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Home to the House of Commons and House of Lords from
0:11:39 > 0:11:41the mid-19th century.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Since it was built, the Palace of Westminster has never undergone
0:11:43 > 0:11:46a total restoration.
0:11:46 > 0:11:51But with the latest annual repair bill now pushing £60 million,
0:11:51 > 0:11:55the grade one listed building is crying out for a major overhaul.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58We were given a special tour behind the scenes to find out how urgent
0:11:58 > 0:12:05the situation is getting.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17It's not often we get this close to Big Ben.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20This place is steeped in history and when it was first built,
0:12:20 > 0:12:30it was a state home for Parliament.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Now, it's just in a state of disrepair.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Restoring the building will take years and is likely to cost at least
0:12:40 > 0:12:43£3.5 billion and most of the money needs to be spent in areas many
0:12:43 > 0:12:44people will never see.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46It's down here below ground in the basement
0:12:46 > 0:12:49where the major problems are.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52You are the chief engineer.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54What is going on down here?
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Down here is where the engineering starts.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02We've got ageing systems and things like gas alongside steam,
0:13:02 > 0:13:05alongside high-voltage electricity.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07These are things you wouldn't have and will want to have.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11We make our way through what feels like a never-ending corridors
0:13:11 > 0:13:14of cabling and pipes, so intertwined that the decades it's
0:13:14 > 0:13:17been a case of patch and mend.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20It all needs to be replaced.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23It is of an age where it's all starting to fail and this
0:13:23 > 0:13:26is all part of the fire risk that we've got with the
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Palace at the moment.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Watch yourself as you come down.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30They are steep steps.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33The Palace of Westminster relies on an internal sewage system
0:13:33 > 0:13:35dating back to 1888.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38It's now 130 years old.
0:13:38 > 0:13:47If it broke down, it would close the building.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Dare I ask, is sewage seeping in?
0:13:49 > 0:13:51We have problems with these.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55We have come down in the past and it has been knee deep down here.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56You are kidding?
0:13:56 > 0:13:57No.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58These are the issues.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Down here it is manageable because we can see it.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03Everyday the fabric of this historic building gets worse.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06The problem is it is deteriorating much quicker than it can be fixed.
0:14:06 > 0:14:12There are examples of this around every corner.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16It is showing signs of wear after a century and a half.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Tom Healy is in charge of the restoration programme.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23You see this ornate stonework around us?
0:14:23 > 0:14:30If you look up here, you can see the white
0:14:30 > 0:14:34staining where the outer stone has flaked off.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37That is water damage caused by a gutter above leaking over
0:14:37 > 0:14:39many decades possibly.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Because the gutters are buried inside the stonework, we often don't
0:14:43 > 0:14:45know that they are leaking until water comes through like this.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Until it is too late?
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Exactly.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50How much of this damage is there around?
0:14:50 > 0:14:51You see it everywhere.
0:14:51 > 0:15:01Eventually it will crumble and it will be safe.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04--Won't be safe.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06From the ground, this historic building exudes grandeur but it's
0:15:06 > 0:15:08from above that you can see the decay.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10You can see the roof over there.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11It is covered in rust.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Letting water in and they are in urgent need of repair.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16They need to be taken off, taken away and cleaned up.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18How many of them are we talking about?
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Thousands.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20The costs just mount up.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23It's very expensive but equally the building is extremely valuable.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25If you think about moving people elsewhere, the costs probably
0:15:25 > 0:15:26wouldn't be greatly different.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29In fact it would probably cost more at the end of the day.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Given the history of the building and the history of the site
0:15:32 > 0:15:35and medieval palace that was here before, and the huge amount
0:15:35 > 0:15:37of things that have gone here from the point of view
0:15:37 > 0:15:39of political history, it is critically important
0:15:39 > 0:15:41that we carry out this work.
0:15:41 > 0:15:51The plans have been controversial.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54It's been recommended that MPs and peers move out for six years
0:15:54 > 0:15:57so work can begin but some want to stay and that would mean
0:15:57 > 0:15:59it would take decades, costing the taxpayer
0:15:59 > 0:16:00an extra £2 billion.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03A final decision has now been delayed for at least 18 months.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05However, restoring the capital's most famous landmark can't wait
0:16:05 > 0:16:08and has already begun.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10And not without disquiet after it was announced
0:16:11 > 0:16:15Big Ben would be silenced.
0:16:15 > 0:16:21Scaffolding will be around the 96 metre tower for around four years
0:16:21 > 0:16:26while conservation work takes place.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29To get a closer look, we need to walk all the way up.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31The single spiral staircase has 334 limestone steps.
0:16:31 > 0:16:38There is some visible damage to the plasterwork from condensation.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Here we go into the dial room.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44It is surreal to think I'm standing behind one of the famous clock faces
0:16:44 > 0:16:46in the world but all is not well.
0:16:46 > 0:16:52The biggest culprit is water causing cracks and corrosion.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55You can see the magnitude of the task ahead of us.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59If we leave it in this state of any longer,
0:16:59 > 0:17:02there is going to be really serious damage and there would be a risk
0:17:02 > 0:17:04of some of it being irretrievable.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07The clock will be dismantled piece by piece and all four of the seven
0:17:07 > 0:17:10metre wide dials carefully cleaned and repaired.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14The lights replaced with low energy LED's.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17I take a quick peek at the mechanism behind the clock.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19This is an incredible piece of history.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24It was made in 1854 in the Strand by the clockmaker to the Queen
0:17:24 > 0:17:30and it was installed in 1859.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33To this day, it is kept accurate by adding or removing old penny
0:17:33 > 0:17:36coins to the pendulum.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Tread carefully as you come up here.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43It is very rare to get access to the top of the tower.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46This is where major work needs to be done.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50These are cast-iron roof tiles which we have the rout the Palace.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53They are about that wide, that tall, that thick.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58It takes two men to lift each one.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01And these have to be taken off one by one and repaired?
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Indeed.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Meanwhile back at ground level the floor of one
0:18:13 > 0:18:16of the grandest rooms, the Royal Gallery,
0:18:16 > 0:18:17has seen better days.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20This is where the Queen attends state functions.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23It is not the only room that needs re-tiling and it's taking
0:18:23 > 0:18:26a decade to do them all.
0:18:26 > 0:18:31Andy is a professional stonemason doing the work
0:18:31 > 0:18:41as they would have done in 1800 's.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46It's a learning curve at first because it is a slightly different
0:18:46 > 0:18:48way of what you would be doing it.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50It is a bespoke building.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Nothing is square and flat.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Hence a lot of tape measures and you get it as level as you can.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Added pressure when you think some of the handmade
0:19:02 > 0:19:04tiles cost up to £1000.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Renovating this symbol of democracy could become one of the most
0:19:07 > 0:19:16expensive and complex renovations ever attempted in the UK.
0:19:16 > 0:19:26Paul Mayhew Archer is a comedy writer and the name behind sitcom
0:19:26 > 0:19:29classics like the Vicar of Dibly and Mrs Brown's Boys.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Seven years ago he was diagnosed with Parkinson's,
0:19:31 > 0:19:33a disease for which there was currently no cure.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34But determined to stay positive, Paul has set himself new challenges
0:19:39 > 0:19:40to stay as healthy as he can.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43One of which is to perform stand-up for the first time at Soho's
0:19:43 > 0:19:44world-famous comedy store.
0:19:44 > 0:19:4818 months ago, I stumbled in front of the television camera to make
0:19:48 > 0:19:50a little documentary called Parkinson's, the funny side.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Now I've stumbled back in front of the same camera
0:19:52 > 0:19:56to make a little follow-up.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Follow me.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03It was the funny side because I'm a comedy writer who used to write
0:20:03 > 0:20:04something set in a village called Dibley.
0:20:04 > 0:20:13Sorry, wrong church.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16And it was Parkinsons the funny side because I've got it.
0:20:16 > 0:20:21It has gone on, isn't it amazing?
0:20:21 > 0:20:25One of the things I noticed is that I take some pills first thing
0:20:25 > 0:20:27in the morning and as it's coming up to lunchtime, I'm having
0:20:27 > 0:20:32to take some more pills because they are wearing off.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35My footsteps which are normally quite normal have
0:20:35 > 0:20:43now turned into David Suchet.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46What a pity he never used his little grey cells to solve
0:20:46 > 0:20:48the mystery of Parkinsons.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Anyway, walking is something I've done since, well,
0:20:51 > 0:20:53since I could walk.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55It's good to try new things because that can light up
0:20:55 > 0:20:59new bits of the brain.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03I've decided to have a go at stand-up comedy.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06First, sit down comedy, or to give it its proper name,
0:21:06 > 0:21:15my Parkinson's ballet class.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18So, any tips on doing stand-up comedy for my ballet buddies?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Don't freeze.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25Don't freeze.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28One of the symptoms of Parkinson's is freezing, where you stop moving
0:21:28 > 0:21:31for a couple of minutes or even longer.
0:21:31 > 0:21:39I heard of someone who got stuck on the Circle line and had
0:21:39 > 0:21:41to go all the way round.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Again and again and again.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43They couldn't get off the train?
0:21:43 > 0:21:44No.
0:21:44 > 0:21:51If I use comedy to keep my spirits up, what do others do?
0:21:51 > 0:21:59These exercises are giving us an aid against this.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Sorry.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Sorry.
0:22:05 > 0:22:10OK.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11We are generally cheerful people.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15We are.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Honestly, we are.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24My wife, Julie, has noticed the changes in me.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27He did go to the fridge the other day and was getting me something
0:22:27 > 0:22:28and I was cooking it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31He opened the fridge and went...
0:22:31 > 0:22:35I think I said something like, "OK, take all day.
0:22:35 > 0:22:40" I shouldn't have said that.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41It is that sort of thing.
0:22:41 > 0:22:47He didn't used to do that.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Feeling pretty smug that I'd got off the Circle line
0:22:50 > 0:22:53and hoping I don't freeze, I shuffled to London's West End
0:22:53 > 0:22:57for my first ever go at stand-up.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Good evening.
0:23:00 > 0:23:05I'm first.
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Time to get some tips, starting with quickfire comedian, Tim Vine.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12This is what I do sometimes.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15If I forget my act, I go over to the piece
0:23:15 > 0:23:18of paper and I go left leg, right leg, left leg,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21that's the running order.
0:23:21 > 0:23:30Lucy Porter tries to reassure me.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32For your first gig at the Comedy Store,
0:23:32 > 0:23:33that's pretty good going.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34No pressure, then.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Tonight's event is the brainchild of comedian, Rob Deering.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39His father was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease 17 years ago.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42He's 75 now so it was quite early and not early as some
0:23:42 > 0:23:44of the people I know.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45About my age, in fact.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49I think it's good to laugh at things.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Important to talk about things.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53People say this about all kinds of things.
0:23:53 > 0:24:03If you see something as difficult or challenging or even something
0:24:04 > 0:24:06that people don't normally talk about, you should talk about it.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Unfortunately, my medicine from earlier is wearing off
0:24:08 > 0:24:10and I'm not feeling great.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13I'm a little bit off at the moment because they haven't kicked in yet.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16I am slow and my hands don't really move very well at all.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18You've just taken some pills?
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Just taken some pills.
0:24:20 > 0:24:30Don't sleep.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40I was feeling pretty dopey but I am hoping they're going to kick in.
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Hey, everyone.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43I'm on the front page.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44Look.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45I'm going to sit down again.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Oh, that's lovely.
0:24:48 > 0:24:55Give a huge welcome to Rob Deering.
0:24:55 > 0:25:02Our next act has got Parkinson's.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Welcome to the stage, Paul Mayhew Archer.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Thank you very much.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Thank you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:21According to the Parkinson's UK website, every hour,
0:25:21 > 0:25:23someone in this country is told they have Parkinson's.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26That's pretty serious.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29That means some of us are being told at three o'clock in the morning.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34Wake up.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35What is it?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37You've got Parkinson's.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41Go back to sleep.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I was diagnosed at 11 o'clock in the morning by a friend.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46I went to see him.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I was telling him I've got an arm that didn't swing very much
0:25:49 > 0:25:50and my handwriting was rather small.
0:25:50 > 0:25:57He said, "I don't want to worry you but I think
0:25:57 > 0:25:58you might have Parkinson's."
0:25:58 > 0:26:02I don't know what he had said if they didn't want to worry me.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I've always regarded Parkinson's as a new episode
0:26:04 > 0:26:08of my sitcom life really.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11It is sometimes the funny thing is that people say.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14There was a neurologist, he said he had a delivery a bit
0:26:14 > 0:26:15like a roller-coaster ride.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17My wife asked him, "Does Parkinson's affects life expectancy?"
0:26:17 > 0:26:21He said, "Well, we used to think it did but then about six years ago
0:26:21 > 0:26:23we decided that it didn't.
0:26:23 > 0:26:28But now we think it does."
0:26:28 > 0:26:31My wife is no longer my wife, she is my carer.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I know.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39When I told my wife this, she said, "But I don't care for you, Paul."
0:26:39 > 0:26:44And I said that I'm doing all right.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47I'm doing some comedy and having good laugh.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50He said, "Oh, Paul, it's so good to laugh while you can."
0:26:50 > 0:26:54I still can and in fact I'm going to have a laugh at three
0:26:54 > 0:26:56o'clock tomorrow morning when I ring someone up and tell them
0:26:56 > 0:26:57they've got Parkinson's.
0:26:57 > 0:27:03Good night, thank you.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Come on.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Give me a high five.
0:27:07 > 0:27:12Come on.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Paul, brilliant.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19Tells people what it's really about and tells
0:27:19 > 0:27:21people not to be afraid.
0:27:21 > 0:27:22Just face it.
0:27:22 > 0:27:28Love the man.
0:27:28 > 0:27:29Loved that, I absolutely loved that.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Looked like it.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Brilliant.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I think Paul was absolutely amazing.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I think he started big, he finished big and he was even
0:27:35 > 0:27:42bigger in the middle.
0:27:42 > 0:27:48You'll be here every Friday and Saturday night now.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51It would've been nice if you left something for the rest us.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53I love him.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55He needs to come back again.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Comedy.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02It may not work for everyone but my goodness it works for me.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Inspiring stuff.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I look forward to seeing what challenges he will
0:28:06 > 0:28:13turn his hands to next.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16For the next series of Inside Out, we are on the hunt for a London
0:28:16 > 0:28:19based family with kids to take part in a special programme.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22We are looking for a family who don't exercise as much as they'd
0:28:22 > 0:28:25like to and are willing to take part in a four-week trial
0:28:25 > 0:28:27to live more active lives.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29If you fit the bill, we'd love to hear from you.
0:28:29 > 0:28:37Get in touch.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39And that's it for this current series.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Tonight's programme will be available on the iplayer.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Head to our website.
0:28:50 > 0:28:56We will be back again in the New Year. I will see you then.