Men, Boys & Eating Disorders

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0:00:05 > 0:00:11I am Nigel Owens. I am an international rugby referee. You

0:00:12 > 0:00:16might know me for my no-nonsense approach on the pitch. Christopher?

0:00:17 > 0:00:20I don't think we have met before, but I am the referee, not you. What

0:00:21 > 0:00:27you might not know is I about the eating disorder bulimia for more

0:00:28 > 0:00:32than 20 years. Tonight on Panorama, we revealed the growing number of

0:00:33 > 0:00:37men and boys battling eating disorders. Its skin goes over the

0:00:38 > 0:00:43top of my trousers, I feel that is fat that should not be there. It is

0:00:44 > 0:00:48not just girls affected by body image. Being bombarded by social

0:00:49 > 0:00:53media, that is what drove me to it, I guess. And it can claim lives.

0:00:54 > 0:00:59This 20-year-old died after battling eating disorders for most of his

0:01:00 > 0:01:01teenage years. I think, with adequate care, Stephen would be

0:01:02 > 0:01:06alive today, and I think he would have been living quite a healthy

0:01:07 > 0:01:07life. It is time to break the silence on a growing problem for

0:01:08 > 0:01:31British men. I struggle with an eating disorder

0:01:32 > 0:01:34for over half my life. It is a very secretive illness. Man, in

0:01:35 > 0:01:40particular, find it very difficult to talk about. But thankfully, more

0:01:41 > 0:01:44and more are coming forward. I have never really understood why this

0:01:45 > 0:01:49illness has flighted my life and the lives of so many others. It can hit

0:01:50 > 0:02:00at any time, and it doesn't discriminate. James is 25. He has

0:02:01 > 0:02:05anorexia nervosa, a serious mental illness where someone tries to keep

0:02:06 > 0:02:10their weight as low as possible by restricting the amount of food they

0:02:11 > 0:02:20eat. How is it going? Are you all right? Not bad, thanks.

0:02:21 > 0:02:27Tommy, what is your anorexia like now? Even my body is saying no,

0:02:28 > 0:02:33stop, my head is saying, go, keep on going. A lot of people say that the

0:02:34 > 0:02:39voice is not real, but it is. To you, it is. It is me. You cannot

0:02:40 > 0:02:43have even ten minutes without it, because it is constant, and you are

0:02:44 > 0:02:53battling yourself all day, and it is very self-destructive as well. Is

0:02:54 > 0:02:56and there now? Yeah. It wants to strip you of everything, and one of

0:02:57 > 0:03:03the main dark things I am going to say is the actual goal of eight is

0:03:04 > 0:03:12to take everything from you and eventually kill you.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17If skin goes over the top of my trousers, I feel that is fat that

0:03:18 > 0:03:22shouldn't be there. James lives in Merthyr Tydfil. At home, he checks

0:03:23 > 0:03:28himself in the mirror constantly. If your face looks sunk in and bony,

0:03:29 > 0:03:37looking at mine at the moment, it doesn't look sunk in, bony, but if

0:03:38 > 0:03:42it is, that is the look that I would rather be looking for. As a

0:03:43 > 0:03:49teenager, James Wade almost 19 stone. At university, he went on a

0:03:50 > 0:03:53diet. He ended up in the local paper. Students limit sheds seven

0:03:54 > 0:04:02stone in a year without any help from the diet industry. -- student

0:04:03 > 0:04:06slimmer. But is way -- but his weight-loss got out of control, he

0:04:07 > 0:04:10had to suspend his studies and return home. It kind of makes me

0:04:11 > 0:04:14sick, because it makes me feel that what has happened is I have

0:04:15 > 0:04:19restricted my eating, but the restriction has become an obsession

0:04:20 > 0:04:24and leading to anorexia. Anorexia has serious consequences. It can

0:04:25 > 0:04:31lead to depression, brittle bones, and even heart failure. I could not

0:04:32 > 0:04:38walk up the stairs, I felt we go. I felt more frail, and I could feel

0:04:39 > 0:04:43some of my bones sticking out. James's weight kept plummeting. It

0:04:44 > 0:04:47reached dangerously low levels. At first, he got psychiatric treatment,

0:04:48 > 0:04:54but now he only sees a dietician. He is struggling to manage the

0:04:55 > 0:05:00condition on his own. Calorie amount... What is it like to try to

0:05:01 > 0:05:04deal with anorexia, with this voice in your head every day? He is going

0:05:05 > 0:05:09to keep a video diary to show us and the reality of life with an eating

0:05:10 > 0:05:14disorder. I think this morning I am in the mood for food restriction, my

0:05:15 > 0:05:18mind is telling me this, and I feel I have to cut back on my food, and

0:05:19 > 0:05:26probably that is what I will end up doing. It is estimated around 1.6

0:05:27 > 0:05:31million people in the UK have under eating disorder, and 400,000 of

0:05:32 > 0:05:40those are thought to be men. I am one of those statistics. I grew up

0:05:41 > 0:05:43in rural Carmarthenshire. Here I am aged 19. What no-one knew at that

0:05:44 > 0:05:49time as I was struggling with my own sexuality. I was also struggling

0:05:50 > 0:05:54with depression. I started realising that the type of person that I was

0:05:55 > 0:05:58finding attractive was not binding me attractive, or would not find me

0:05:59 > 0:06:05attractive because I was fat, obese in my eyes. I started making myself

0:06:06 > 0:06:10ill, I wanted to lose weight, so I would go to the toilet and make

0:06:11 > 0:06:16myself sick - not far off every meal nearly, you know. I had bulimia,

0:06:17 > 0:06:23where someone tries to control the weight after -- by purging after

0:06:24 > 0:06:29eating, usually by making themselves sick. For nearly 20 years, it became

0:06:30 > 0:06:34a way of life for me. When I was 36, everything changed. My mum was

0:06:35 > 0:06:37diagnosed with terminal cancer. I cried all day thinking about things,

0:06:38 > 0:06:43and I went to the toilet to make myself sick, and I couldn't. You

0:06:44 > 0:06:47know, I stuck my fingers down my throat, and nothing would come up. I

0:06:48 > 0:06:52think seeing what my mother went through made me stop. After years of

0:06:53 > 0:06:58bulimia, it seems like I had finally got control. We do also have good

0:06:59 > 0:07:05information on the website... The UK's largest eating disorder charity

0:07:06 > 0:07:10is Beat. It's advice centre in Warrington receives 20,000 calls a

0:07:11 > 0:07:18year, around a fifth from men and boys. I have never asked for help

0:07:19 > 0:07:23for my eating disorder, but more men and boys are now coming forward -

0:07:24 > 0:07:27albeit slowly. It is definitely the case that men and boys are not

0:07:28 > 0:07:30seeking help as readily, many of them don't want to be seen as

0:07:31 > 0:07:35suffering from what is perceived as a girl' problem. Their parents are

0:07:36 > 0:07:39not looking for a eating disorder, if they get to the GP, the GP may

0:07:40 > 0:07:43not be looking for an eating disorder, so it may be diagnosed as

0:07:44 > 0:07:47something else. That allows the eating disorder to get ever more in

0:07:48 > 0:07:51control, and that makes it much harder for the treatments to work

0:07:52 > 0:07:55when they finally get into treatment. I encourage you to try

0:07:56 > 0:08:00that different therapy and see how it goes and let us know if you need

0:08:01 > 0:08:06further support. Some of the things coming in there, written down, I was

0:08:07 > 0:08:12thinking, that is exactly how I was, you know, that is what I needed 25

0:08:13 > 0:08:17years ago, something like this. We wanted to find out the scale of the

0:08:18 > 0:08:20problem across the UK, so we asked every mental health trust and board

0:08:21 > 0:08:27how many men were referred to eating disorders services for a first

0:08:28 > 0:08:33assessment. From those that responded, we discovered that, in

0:08:34 > 0:08:422016, there were 871 referrals, an increase from 2014 of 43%. Our

0:08:43 > 0:08:49research also revealed that, from those that responded, more than 2500

0:08:50 > 0:08:52youngsters, both boys and girls, received help - a rise of 42% over

0:08:53 > 0:09:03the last two years. This 14-year-old lives with his

0:09:04 > 0:09:07parents and younger sister in south Wales. He has just come out of

0:09:08 > 0:09:14hospital, where he was being treated for anorexia. Nice to meet you.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20Would you like to come in? Eating disorders can develop at any age.

0:09:21 > 0:09:27The risk is highest for young people between 13 and 17. I always had this

0:09:28 > 0:09:32idea of the body that I wanted, probably because of stuff I saw on

0:09:33 > 0:09:37social media. When you say the body you wanted, you were looking at

0:09:38 > 0:09:43sports people? Yeah. You wanted to look like that? I started

0:09:44 > 0:09:48exercising, even more than I previously had, so I was doing stuck

0:09:49 > 0:09:53in the house as well as... Obsessed with exercise as well? Yeah. I

0:09:54 > 0:09:58noticed the back of the neck was getting very scrawny. Was he hiding

0:09:59 > 0:10:05it from you? I think he was, and then his behaviour just got more and

0:10:06 > 0:10:10more weird. He started doing star jumps, he wouldn't sit down, he was

0:10:11 > 0:10:14standing up all the time. I probably didn't realise he was just

0:10:15 > 0:10:20concentrating all day on food, that was all he was thinking about day

0:10:21 > 0:10:26and night, I think. She took her son to the doctor's. 11 days later, he

0:10:27 > 0:10:30was in hospital. The night he went into hospital, I can remember a

0:10:31 > 0:10:35horrible, wet February night, and he was kick jumping into the hospital,

0:10:36 > 0:10:39he couldn't walk normally, he was kick jumping. As he was being

0:10:40 > 0:10:45monitored, his heart rate dropped so low he was at risk of cardiac

0:10:46 > 0:10:51arrest. He was discharged in February after nearly three weeks in

0:10:52 > 0:10:54hospital. You get the onions, Al get-togethers out of the fridge,

0:10:55 > 0:10:58yeah? His family thought he was improving, but a few days later they

0:10:59 > 0:11:04found chocolate and yoghurt in the bathroom bin. What I was doing was

0:11:05 > 0:11:09hiding them, and then they found some of the food that I had been

0:11:10 > 0:11:14hiding, yeah. We thought we were keeping a close eye on him, watching

0:11:15 > 0:11:18him, after he had eaten his food, but obviously they get very

0:11:19 > 0:11:26deceptive, and he managed to hide some food. Didn't you? Yeah. But I

0:11:27 > 0:11:31felt like people were intruding into my life, and it was not of their

0:11:32 > 0:11:39business. I didn't understand why they were sort of... I was being

0:11:40 > 0:11:42forced to put on weight. Rehab to go back to hospital before being

0:11:43 > 0:11:47admitted to a children and young people's mental health ward, where

0:11:48 > 0:11:53he stayed for nine weeks. -- he had to go back to hospital. He finally

0:11:54 > 0:11:57came home in May. He is now receiving weekly therapy through a

0:11:58 > 0:12:03support worker. But his family say he has yet to see a dietician.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08According to Nice guidelines, children with anorexia should be

0:12:09 > 0:12:13offered supplementary dietary advice. He is brave. 14 years of

0:12:14 > 0:12:18age, to be able to speak about what he has been through, that is very,

0:12:19 > 0:12:22very brave. I don't think I could have done that at 14 years of age.

0:12:23 > 0:12:29So how long do people have to wait for treatment? We ask every mental

0:12:30 > 0:12:32health trust and board in the UK. We discovered that average waits for

0:12:33 > 0:12:41treatment for both males and females vary from one week to 28 weeks, with

0:12:42 > 0:12:45some patients waiting almost a year. All of that time, the clock is

0:12:46 > 0:12:50ticking, the illness is getting its claws into the sufferer. The

0:12:51 > 0:12:53treatments are mostly talking therapies, and in those early days,

0:12:54 > 0:13:00they are much more likely to work, to be successful, than they are if

0:13:01 > 0:13:04you leave it a very long time. Back in south Wales, James says he has

0:13:05 > 0:13:08been asking for talking therapy for more than two years. In the

0:13:09 > 0:13:13meantime, his anorexia has taken control again. It is telling him to

0:13:14 > 0:13:18over exercise. I have just been on my run, I did a lot more than what I

0:13:19 > 0:13:23was supposed to do, I was thinking of my next meal, what I am planning,

0:13:24 > 0:13:27and my mind was telling me to restrict, to hold back. But I know

0:13:28 > 0:13:31what I should be having, a substantial meal. The health board

0:13:32 > 0:13:39in charge of both James's and the 14-year-old's pair, Cwm Taf, says

0:13:40 > 0:13:43that while it cannot comment on individuals, its priority is to

0:13:44 > 0:13:47provide the best possible care for children and adults with eating

0:13:48 > 0:13:51disorders. Many of the young lads I have spoken to with anorexia seem to

0:13:52 > 0:13:57have been obsessed with exercise, but for me it is my job. Being a

0:13:58 > 0:14:02rugby ref means I have to keep up on the pitch with athletes have my age.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06So I am under huge pressure to maintain my fitness. My eating

0:14:07 > 0:14:13disorder has been a big part of that. Today I am in Dublin to

0:14:14 > 0:14:24referee the Pro12 final. Thanks, Nigel. I've always spoken

0:14:25 > 0:14:28about bulimia like it is in my past. Actually, that is not quite true. It

0:14:29 > 0:14:33returned as I approached the pinnacle of my career, refereeing

0:14:34 > 0:14:36the World Cup final. It started sneaking back probably a little bit

0:14:37 > 0:14:41before the World Cup. I was under huge pressure to reach certain

0:14:42 > 0:14:45fitness levels, and the fitness levels are very high. So, I sort of

0:14:46 > 0:14:50made myself sick a couple of times as well, leading up to the fitness

0:14:51 > 0:14:55testing and stuff like that. After the World Cup final, the next year,

0:14:56 > 0:14:59you are just in cloud cuckoo land, really. So I started seeing myself

0:15:00 > 0:15:04putting some weight on, I was looking in the mirror and I thought,

0:15:05 > 0:15:08you know, I'll get rid of this quite quickly. And then the bulimia came

0:15:09 > 0:15:13back. It would be twice a week one week, and then nothing for months

0:15:14 > 0:15:18and months. I know it's not the right way to lose weight. I know it

0:15:19 > 0:15:24makes you more harm than good. But why I still do it from time to time?

0:15:25 > 0:15:31I don't know. It's a question I've avoided for most of my life. But I

0:15:32 > 0:15:36know now I need to face up to it. Could it be the pressure of being a

0:15:37 > 0:15:42professional sportsman? Research shows that male elite athletes are

0:15:43 > 0:15:4716 times more likely to develop an eating disorder in comparison to

0:15:48 > 0:15:53nonathletes. Boxer Bradley Pryce is a case in point. Like me, he has

0:15:54 > 0:15:59made himself sick to lose weight. Is it safe to come in? How is it going?

0:16:00 > 0:16:07You're hitting that hard, aren't you? Bradley, from baize in south

0:16:08 > 0:16:15Wales, won the Commonwealth light middleweight title in 2006. -- from

0:16:16 > 0:16:21Cwmcarn in South Wales. A decade later, he can still pack quite a

0:16:22 > 0:16:31punch. Eight years ago, he was training to defend his title. I had

0:16:32 > 0:16:36to get down to the 11 stone mark. I got lazy, I didn't train the way I

0:16:37 > 0:16:39was supposed to. My weight was kind of not coming down. So I decided to

0:16:40 > 0:16:46start making myself sick, just to make the weight. Everything I was

0:16:47 > 0:16:51eating, I was bringing it up. Everybody assumed I was training

0:16:52 > 0:17:01hard in the gym. You are hiding it? Yes. When I made the weight, on the

0:17:02 > 0:17:05way in, I got on the scales and my legs were buckling underneath me. I

0:17:06 > 0:17:08have a job to stand straight. I knew the fight was lost then, pretty

0:17:09 > 0:17:12much. I thought, I've got nothing in me. Bradley was knocked out in round

0:17:13 > 0:17:18three and lost his Commonwealth title, which he blames on his eating

0:17:19 > 0:17:22disorder. It kind of ruined my career, losing a fight. If I had

0:17:23 > 0:17:28won, I would have kept doing it. Bradley are still competing and has

0:17:29 > 0:17:35to lose three pounds before a fight at the weekend. And you haven't done

0:17:36 > 0:17:39it since? I have, yes. You have? Not as extreme as I had done it for that

0:17:40 > 0:17:43fight. But leading up to a fight, when you can't have any fluid or

0:17:44 > 0:17:51anything, I have had a bottle of pop and drum kit, and then brought it

0:17:52 > 0:17:56back up. -- a bottle of pop and drank it, and then brought it back

0:17:57 > 0:18:00up. People now still really don't believe it, that I make myself sick.

0:18:01 > 0:18:05I know how he feels, that temptation is always there for me as well. I

0:18:06 > 0:18:08have had a bulimia for most of my adult life and in the back of my

0:18:09 > 0:18:11mind I am constantly aware that it could come back at any time. But I

0:18:12 > 0:18:18never thought about the damage it might be doing to my body. Cambridge

0:18:19 > 0:18:22University student James Downs survived anorexia as a teenager, but

0:18:23 > 0:18:32then developed severe bulimia. It has left its scars. I caught up with

0:18:33 > 0:18:4227-year-old James at his parents' home in Cardiff. I would bring the

0:18:43 > 0:18:46food appear at night, and I would feel stressed a lot of the time. It

0:18:47 > 0:18:52was only when I was eating that I didn't feel that. It was a relief. I

0:18:53 > 0:18:58used to eat all of the food, basic here, in large buckets, and put them

0:18:59 > 0:19:02in the wardrobes. You would hide in there? Yes, and then the next day,

0:19:03 > 0:19:08when people were out, I would clean it up. They would be overflowing

0:19:09 > 0:19:12with sick. My room with smell. James looks healthy to me, and that is the

0:19:13 > 0:19:18problem with an illness like bulimia. The damage can remain

0:19:19 > 0:19:25hidden. I have to take medication for my stomach, I still get a lot of

0:19:26 > 0:19:28acid. Still now? Yes. It has definitely had an impact. My front

0:19:29 > 0:19:34teeth aren't my own, they have to be replaced. Because of make yourself

0:19:35 > 0:19:38sick? I was sick so much that the nerves were hanging out of my teeth.

0:19:39 > 0:19:44That is because of the acid in your stomach, it eats away at your teeth?

0:19:45 > 0:19:49It does, yes. James is back at university and is focusing on his

0:19:50 > 0:19:54recovery. He has had help in the past, but despite the severe

0:19:55 > 0:19:59physical symptoms, he is struggling to get more treatment from his local

0:20:00 > 0:20:05health trust. I went to the GP and asked if there was any support

0:20:06 > 0:20:08available. They referred me to the Adult Eating Disorder Service.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Unfortunately, they didn't even offer me an assessment. The referral

0:20:13 > 0:20:19was not accepted because James was within a normal weight range. I was

0:20:20 > 0:20:23very disappointed. As well as the bulimia, I find it hard to manage

0:20:24 > 0:20:28how much I exercise. Those anxieties play a big role in my life. It's

0:20:29 > 0:20:32unbelievable, really. I thought I had a pretty bad with bulimia, but

0:20:33 > 0:20:41nothing compared to what he's been through. I didn't realise people

0:20:42 > 0:20:44could have it that bad, you know? Cambridge and Peterborough NHS

0:20:45 > 0:20:50Foundation Trust's Eating Disorder Service told us that they cannot

0:20:51 > 0:20:52comment on individuals, but they are experiencing severe staff shortages

0:20:53 > 0:21:00and are only able to accept those with the most urgent needs. Time and

0:21:01 > 0:21:04again, when meeting these young men who have battled with eating

0:21:05 > 0:21:08disorders, I have heard stories about the struggle to get treatment.

0:21:09 > 0:21:15Our research has revealed that health trusts and boards across the

0:21:16 > 0:21:20UK have turned down more than 470 referrals for eating disorders for

0:21:21 > 0:21:31men and women, for a variety of reasons. Steven Brazier, from

0:21:32 > 0:21:36Minster, in Kent, was a fun loving teenager before his eating disorder

0:21:37 > 0:21:43took hold. I started to notice that he wasn't eating. He would not eat

0:21:44 > 0:21:47with us. When he did eat with us, afterwards, he would disappear into

0:21:48 > 0:21:53the bathroom for ages afterwards. He just wouldn't eat the days, and then

0:21:54 > 0:21:57he would binge, he would eat all of the deserts, or he would eat a whole

0:21:58 > 0:22:03loaf of bread. Afterwards he was full of remorse. He was saying, I've

0:22:04 > 0:22:07got to be sick, I've got to be sick. In the end, he would be pleading

0:22:08 > 0:22:15with you to let him go and be sick. He had no control over it. It was

0:22:16 > 0:22:18upsetting, because he vanished in front of my eyes, basically. He got

0:22:19 > 0:22:23thinner and thinner and the spark went out of him. His GP referred him

0:22:24 > 0:22:26to the local eating disorders team. But Stephen continued to

0:22:27 > 0:22:33deteriorate. His potassium levels became very low, which meant

0:22:34 > 0:22:44repeated stays in hospital. He was sectioned for a year. When he was

0:22:45 > 0:22:48discharged, they said the referral would be taken by the mental health

0:22:49 > 0:22:52team and they would look after him,. None of that materialised. It was a

0:22:53 > 0:22:57battle all the time. Nobody wanted to do anything. Died at home,

0:22:58 > 0:23:03shortly afterwards, in February 2014, aged 20. A postmortem recorded

0:23:04 > 0:23:10his cause of death has anorexia and bulimia. I think so many

0:23:11 > 0:23:13opportunities were missed. With adequate care, Steven would be alive

0:23:14 > 0:23:23today. I think he would be living quite a healthy life. Melanie took

0:23:24 > 0:23:27legal action against Kent and Medway NHS and Social Care Partnership and

0:23:28 > 0:23:34settled out of court earlier this year. They admit that their care was

0:23:35 > 0:23:44not adequate and say they have improved as a result of learning

0:23:45 > 0:23:47from the failings in bulimia's case. We wanted to talk to the Secretary

0:23:48 > 0:23:52of State for Health, Jeremy Hunt, about waiting times for eating

0:23:53 > 0:23:55disorder treatments. He declined. The Department of Health told us

0:23:56 > 0:24:01that a pathway for adults is being developed and it is investing ?150

0:24:02 > 0:24:04million in children and young people's services, and will expect

0:24:05 > 0:24:09them to be seen within four weeks, or one week if it is urgent. For

0:24:10 > 0:24:13adults and children in Wales, that waiting time standard is four weeks,

0:24:14 > 0:24:20in Northern Ireland it is nine weeks, and in Scotland it is 18

0:24:21 > 0:24:27weeks. This is the Maudsley Hospital in London. It eating disorders unit

0:24:28 > 0:24:32for children and young people is renowned for its research and

0:24:33 > 0:24:34treatment. Eating disorders are probably the only condition in

0:24:35 > 0:24:39mental health where if you get it early, it can lead to a better

0:24:40 > 0:24:41prognosis, provided you get the right treatment. Delaying treatment

0:24:42 > 0:24:46can make treatment more difficult. There is also good evidence to show

0:24:47 > 0:24:50that, the longer an eating disorder goes on, the harder it can be to

0:24:51 > 0:24:53treat. Eating disorders are renowned for actually having the highest

0:24:54 > 0:24:57mortality and of any psychiatric condition. Are they? More people

0:24:58 > 0:25:02will die of eating disorders than any other mental health problem.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Over the years, I have spoken openly about my sexuality and depression.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09But this is the first time I have ever confronted my eating disorder.

0:25:10 > 0:25:19I've just come back from Argentina two weeks ago, where I was making

0:25:20 > 0:25:22myself sick three or four times in Argentina, because I was eating more

0:25:23 > 0:25:26food than I needed. I knew if I eat all of this food, I will make myself

0:25:27 > 0:25:28ill afterwards. I have never seek to help about it, because, until

0:25:29 > 0:25:35speaking to you now, I guess, I have always felt I am in control of it.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40But I'm not, am I? I would say that it is clear that you still have some

0:25:41 > 0:25:43symptoms. It is still affecting your life. If you haven't really received

0:25:44 > 0:25:48treatment for an eating disorder, it is much more likely to re-emerge. I

0:25:49 > 0:25:50think it would be really good if, at some point, you could think about

0:25:51 > 0:26:09maybe getting some help. That was a bit of a reality check,

0:26:10 > 0:26:13really. Speaking to Dr Darren, it was an acknowledgement that I need

0:26:14 > 0:26:16to do something about it, really. I need to sit down and speak to

0:26:17 > 0:26:22somebody to try and get it out of my life for ever, I guess. From what

0:26:23 > 0:26:26I've heard from the people I've met, it's hard to say you've ever fully

0:26:27 > 0:26:29beaten an eating disorder. But if you are given the tools to stay one

0:26:30 > 0:26:35step ahead, you do have a chance of recovery.

0:26:36 > 0:26:41This young man is certainly not out of the woods yet, but he is making a

0:26:42 > 0:26:46phased return to school, where his friends will be keeping a close eye

0:26:47 > 0:26:53on him. Maybe be slightly intrusive, check at lunchtime, that I'm eating

0:26:54 > 0:26:58a bit. That I'm not skipping it. I guess that is what you guys can do

0:26:59 > 0:27:02for me. Yes, if we see you getting skinny again in your face. Let you

0:27:03 > 0:27:17know before it gets to that stage. Make sure you say something.

0:27:18 > 0:27:24James also hopes that, with the help of the people around him, he can get

0:27:25 > 0:27:28back on track with his recovery. But he knows it's not going to be easy.

0:27:29 > 0:27:33Yes, it's going to take time and some battling, and some fighting.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36But then the anorexia is not going to be there for ever. There is light

0:27:37 > 0:27:39at the end of the tunnel, I suppose. I know I can get somewhere where I

0:27:40 > 0:27:51know I can be happy. Well, it has been an incredible

0:27:52 > 0:28:00journey. A strange, but incredible experience as well. And realising

0:28:01 > 0:28:06how many different types of people, from all walks of life, men and

0:28:07 > 0:28:12boys, that an eating disorder affects. To actually accept that you

0:28:13 > 0:28:15have an eating disorder, or a mental health issue, is actually a sign of

0:28:16 > 0:28:20great, great strength. It is not a sign of weakness at all. But, as

0:28:21 > 0:28:24I've discovered, is not always easy to get the help that you need, when

0:28:25 > 0:28:29you need it. So, the sooner you start talking to people, the better.

0:28:30 > 0:28:40Don't be in my situation, 27 years on, still suffering from it.

0:28:41 > 0:28:47If you have been affected by the issues raised in this programme, you

0:28:48 > 0:28:50can find details of organisations which offer advice and support with

0:28:51 > 0:28:54eating disorders on the BBC website.