:00:10. > :00:18.Tonight, This Week is walking in the air and floating in the
:00:18. > :00:21.Westminster sky. The people far below are sleeping as we fly
:00:21. > :00:27.through the top stories of the year. Which political snowman will end
:00:27. > :00:30.the year on top and which one is in danger of melting away? We'll be
:00:30. > :00:36.joined by two jolly Fleet Street men of snow - Quentin Letts and
:00:36. > :00:42.Kevin Maguire. Swimming in the frozen sky, leading actor David
:00:42. > :00:52.Morrissey. Providing the Christmas X-Factor - the voice of an angel,
:00:52. > :00:57.
:00:57. > :01:00.Johnny Robinson. And everyone who sees us, greets us as we fly.
:01:00. > :01:03.Evening all and a special welcome to our special Christmas edition of
:01:03. > :01:08.This Week. The show that exists, much like British foreign policy,
:01:08. > :01:10.in glorious isolation from the rest of the civilised world. In fact,
:01:10. > :01:16.parallels between us and Call-Me- Dave's undiplomatic statecraft
:01:16. > :01:21.don't end there. We too refuse to sign up to bureaucratic rules that
:01:21. > :01:24.limit our sovereign right to cock everything up, all on our own. We
:01:24. > :01:27.too kid ourselves that we punch above our weight, with a global
:01:27. > :01:31.reach, and a fleet of imaginary aircraft carriers, though at least
:01:31. > :01:34.we're not counting on the French to share one with us. And when we too
:01:34. > :01:38.fail miserably to get our own way, just like Dave, we're always ready
:01:38. > :01:42.to claim it was a cunning plan all along and blame everything else on
:01:43. > :01:46.the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. And, at the end of the day, who
:01:46. > :01:54.doesn't get a kick out of making prank phone calls to Nick Clegg at
:01:54. > :01:57.4am saying, "You've just re-taken Calais?" It never ever gets boring.
:01:57. > :02:00.Speaking of those weary souls who are locked in a political prison of
:02:00. > :02:05.their own making, I'm joined on the sofa tonight by two of
:02:05. > :02:12.Westminster's oldest lags. The Lennie Godber and Norman Stanley
:02:12. > :02:14.Fletcher of late-night political chat. I speak, of course, of
:02:14. > :02:24.Michael Portillo, and back by absolutely no public demand
:02:24. > :02:24.
:02:24. > :02:27.whatsoever, and currently trending as #leftieontheleft - Diane Abbott.
:02:27. > :02:32.And with little chance of being outdone, and currently trending as
:02:32. > :02:36.#maninthemiddle - Charles Kennedy. And a very warm welcome to an actor
:02:36. > :02:46.who does the impossible - yes, he's the man who made Gordon Brown
:02:46. > :02:49.
:02:49. > :02:57.televisua - actor and director, David Morrissey. Michael, your
:02:57. > :03:03.moment of the year. The killing of Osama Bin Laden. It may be a
:03:03. > :03:07.bitterlyy or paradox, but it wasn't the moment -- a bit early, or par
:03:07. > :03:11.box, but it wasn't the moment of the year, but this was the number
:03:11. > :03:15.one objective of the fight against terror, but funnily enough when I
:03:15. > :03:19.wad ask to think of my moment, it was hard to remember that this his
:03:19. > :03:23.even happened, because although it seemed quite big at the time, what
:03:23. > :03:28.sort of consequence what's it had? No political consequence in America.
:03:28. > :03:35.It kind of died, that is not the bet analogy, but I know what you
:03:35. > :03:38.mean. That's Andrew for you. takes me very literally. It did
:03:38. > :03:42.have the great photograph. You remember the photograph of the
:03:42. > :03:46.operations room and Hillary Clinton with her hand over her mouth?
:03:46. > :03:52.didn't appear to be quite what it is. That's life and politics.
:03:52. > :03:57.a bit naive. They were all terrified it was all going to be
:03:57. > :04:02.another Jimmy Carter helicopters in the desert. Diane? I was at home,
:04:02. > :04:07.Saturday night I looked at Twitter and realised there were riots in
:04:07. > :04:11.Tottenham. Turned on my TV. Took me back all the years back to
:04:11. > :04:16.Broadwater Farm. The riots haven't had longevity in terms of the
:04:16. > :04:22.political impact. But we'll have riots again next summer. We will?
:04:22. > :04:29.Lucky you weren't in the Caribbean at the time. On the spot for once,
:04:29. > :04:33.in the summer. I thought it was the Tottenham district of Jamaica. Have
:04:33. > :04:37.you noticed what's above you. SREAMING
:04:37. > :04:47.We haven't got one. You did, but I cut it down. David, your moment of
:04:47. > :04:49.
:04:49. > :04:53.the year. My moment, is similar. In the summer I was driving out of
:04:53. > :05:00.London with my son on the Monday and just seeing London burning, as
:05:00. > :05:04.I was driving out. Just seeing the pockets of fire. That was a very -
:05:04. > :05:08.Stays in the memory? Very strange time to be leaving London and
:05:08. > :05:13.feeling like getting out and feeling safe about getting out and
:05:13. > :05:20.thinking I shouldn't be feeling safe about driving away. You are
:05:20. > :05:28.making a drama? It is out on 22nd. Next week. Channel 4 9pm. Channel 4.
:05:28. > :05:35.Excellent. I will set the sky plus. Charles? I think if you look at UK
:05:35. > :05:39.politics at the moment, fascinating and unpredictable as it, the one
:05:39. > :05:43.constant light in the sky and it grieves me to say this, but it was
:05:44. > :05:48.confirmed this year, is the primacy of First Minister Alex Salmond. He
:05:48. > :05:52.is far and away the most successful politician in terms of having an
:05:52. > :05:55.absolute majority of his own and having a renewed mandate and
:05:55. > :06:03.effectively next to no opposition whatsoever. In the land of the
:06:03. > :06:07.blind, the one-eyed man is king? shall see. At the moment, there is
:06:07. > :06:14.no alternative, to coin a phrase, from Alex Salmond. Equally, it's
:06:14. > :06:20.going to have ramifications for the rest of the United Kingdom, because
:06:20. > :06:28.the issues are internal. It will be a developing story. Very much so.
:06:28. > :06:30.Thank you for those. Now, we've got an extra treat for you tonight. As
:06:30. > :06:32.forelock-tugging corporate lickspittles of the highest order,
:06:32. > :06:35.we're contractually obliged to favour all BBC light entertainment
:06:35. > :06:38.over its ITV rivals. That's why, naturally, we've decided to round
:06:38. > :06:40.off the year with, what else, a Political X-Factor Quiz, with X-
:06:40. > :06:50.Factor singing sensation, it's the X-Factor's Johnny Robinson from the
:06:50. > :06:55.
:06:55. > :07:01.X-Factor! APPLAUSE
:07:01. > :07:05.Hello. Pleased to meet you. Factor is on the BBC, isn't it?
:07:05. > :07:12.ITV, love. You got that wrong. We'll be fired. Naughty boy. Are
:07:12. > :07:20.you ready? What are you going to be doing? We are going to give you a
:07:20. > :07:24.question, because it's a quiz. Start us off. Here we go. First
:07:24. > :07:34.question is - which naughty Baroness, who spooked the Lords,
:07:34. > :07:38.
:07:38. > :07:48.has the X Factor? He's got no idea. Let's roll the type and let's see
:07:48. > :07:48.
:07:48. > :07:50.what the answer is. It's Baroness Trum tonne there. She is one of the
:07:51. > :07:55.only ones... LAUGHTER
:07:55. > :08:01.I can just watch that again and again. I want to see that on a loop.
:08:01. > :08:05.Jonny, come back and we'll do some more. Thank you. Now, never let it
:08:05. > :08:09.be said that we take the take-off too far on this programme.
:08:09. > :08:13.Absolutely not, we buy a first- class ticket and send it half way
:08:13. > :08:23.around the world to tiny states of microkneesia, so that must mean
:08:23. > :08:31.it's time for the Downturn Abbey Christmas special. There have been
:08:31. > :08:35.big changes since we visited last Christmas. Times have moved on
:08:35. > :08:39.faster that Nick Clegg's bottom when Europe is debated. Kevin
:08:39. > :08:43.Maguire has been sent off to fight in Brussels and Lord Quentin Letts,
:08:43. > :08:50.for it is he, is coming to terms with a dramatic change in fortunes,
:08:50. > :09:00.so sit back and enjoy our first of three visits to double-dip Downturn
:09:00. > :09:28.
:09:28. > :09:34.Abbey at Christmas. MUSIC I remember Christmas Eve 2011. A new
:09:34. > :09:38.front had opened up in the war in Europe. For months the bankers had
:09:38. > :09:44.been shelling the Germans, who were shooting the French, sniping at the
:09:44. > :09:51.Greeks and Italians. But when Field Marshal Lord Cameron signalled the
:09:51. > :09:56.retreat, everyone started shooting at us. I came back to Downturn
:09:56. > :10:01.where I had hoped to spend the holidays recuperating with my old
:10:01. > :10:11.master, but life back home had changed. Hang on a minute, this
:10:11. > :10:18.
:10:18. > :10:25.doesn't look right. Hello. Maguire, I'm so glad you're home.
:10:25. > :10:35.We have been repossessed. Yaild Mr May, the house keep -- wailed Mr
:10:35. > :10:35.
:10:35. > :10:39.May, the housekeeper and look Hizbollah Lordship. -- look at his
:10:39. > :10:43.Lordship. So the newsreels were right and Field Marshal Lord
:10:43. > :10:53.Cameron did win the great European war and the boys are coming home
:10:53. > :10:54.
:10:54. > :10:58.for Christmas. Yes, something like that. I said before coming to
:10:58. > :11:04.Brussels that if I couldn't get adequate safeguards for Britain in
:11:04. > :11:11.a new European treaty, then I wouldn't agree to it. So much for
:11:11. > :11:16.all that high- fluting talk and using the veto. Lord Cameron's done
:11:16. > :11:23.what no British Prime Minister, not even Lady Thatcher, ever dared do.
:11:23. > :11:28.I know, it's great, isn't it? I say, this calls for a celebration. Mrs
:11:28. > :11:35.May, break open the drinks from the cellar. Shouldn't we remember the
:11:35. > :11:39.fallen? Yes, you're right. And those missing in action. How can
:11:39. > :11:47.the Prime Minister expect to persuade anyone else it's a good
:11:47. > :11:50.outcome when he can't persuade his own deputy? Being aced as one is
:11:50. > :11:56.bad for jobs and growth and the millions of people in this country,
:11:56. > :12:03.but the coalition is here to stay. Shame, shellshock does funny things
:12:03. > :12:09.to a good footman. Let's drink. Lords Letts believed the good old
:12:09. > :12:13.days were just around the corner. But what had happened to Downturn?
:12:13. > :12:20.Tricky one, I'm afraid. I'm afraid my accountant, young Lord Osborne,
:12:20. > :12:23.had a little bit of trouble with his sums. They have unsurprisingly
:12:23. > :12:29.revised down their short-term growth prospects for our country,
:12:29. > :12:37.for Europe and for the world. They expect GDP if Britain to grow this
:12:37. > :12:42.year by 0.9%. 0.9%? I've had stronger supermarket own-brand
:12:42. > :12:46.value lager than that. I fear the Boy George in a man's job is
:12:46. > :12:50.pushing us into a double-dip recession. The trouble is Labour
:12:50. > :12:53.ballsed up the economy and they are still Ed Ballsing it up. Until they
:12:53. > :13:03.get rid of the people who made a mess they are not going to be
:13:03. > :13:04.
:13:04. > :13:10.trusted on the economy. Bah, my Lord?! It must be hard for you to
:13:10. > :13:20.get by on just under 150 K a year. We squeezed middle must make the
:13:20. > :13:20.
:13:20. > :13:25.best of things. Polysays we can stay until 2015. -- polly here says
:13:25. > :13:29.we can stay until 2015. I'm going down with something, it must be the
:13:29. > :13:39.Spanish flu, or Greek or German. Blasted conned nepbtals. I'm off to
:13:39. > :13:46.
:13:46. > :13:50.bed. -- continentals. I'm off to TV magic. Public service
:13:50. > :13:54.broadcasting at its finest. Michael, do you think David Cameron is
:13:54. > :13:58.pinching himself tonight? It looks like we're on the brink of another
:13:58. > :14:02.recession. The Chancellor has had to admit his plans are off course.
:14:02. > :14:07.We were one against 26 last week. He's now ahead in the polls and the
:14:07. > :14:10.darling of his party. No, I don't think he's pinching himself,
:14:10. > :14:13.because he's done something no Prime Minister has done before,
:14:13. > :14:16.which is to say no to another treaty. This touches on the
:14:16. > :14:20.relationship between the British people and the European Union. We
:14:20. > :14:28.never expected to have one treaty after another, after another. We
:14:28. > :14:33.thought we had joined a club. The European Union's rules are changing
:14:33. > :14:40.all the time. Also, I think the treaty he didn't sign will shortly
:14:40. > :14:43.be seen as a treaty of infan mi. What it will do is impose the most
:14:43. > :14:48.austere austerity on countries when it is not the appropriate thing to
:14:48. > :14:55.do. When the countries refuse to respond, then their Governments
:14:55. > :15:03.will be replaced, as we have seen in Italy and Greece. This is not
:15:03. > :15:08.only economically illiterate. We are well out of it.
:15:08. > :15:13.Diane, inflation is high, living standards have been squeezed more
:15:13. > :15:18.severely than any time since 1925. Unemployment is rising. There is
:15:18. > :15:24.virtually no growth in the economy. Why is Labour and Mr Miliband doing
:15:24. > :15:29.so badly? We're going to win... We have won all our by-elections so
:15:29. > :15:32.far. We have 65,000 new members. However, you are right, if you look
:15:33. > :15:38.at the overall number polling numbers for Ed, they are not as
:15:38. > :15:44.high as we would like them to be. Things are going to get worse. You
:15:44. > :15:49.are saying the eurozone will crash. It may well do. However,... High
:15:49. > :15:56.are things not as high. Things have got worse and your ratings have got
:15:56. > :16:01.worse. No. The Tories are ahead. It's a margin of error.
:16:01. > :16:11.My leg has not been petted since you were last on the show. There
:16:11. > :16:16.you go! Aren't you glad I'm back! I like it when you say to me,
:16:16. > :16:20.you're right. Every answer tonight just say, "You're right." I will
:16:20. > :16:27.take that mistletoe down. You will see that public opinion will come
:16:27. > :16:32.to us when people see how bankrupt Osborne's plan is. There There's no
:16:32. > :16:36.evidence of that. By all normal criteria Labour
:16:36. > :16:42.should be doing well, it is mid- term, it has gone badly for the
:16:42. > :16:46.Government. It is when oppositions always come through. My thing is to
:16:46. > :16:51.ask you about opinion polls in general. How serious do you take
:16:51. > :16:56.opinion polls as politicians? Are they really sweated over? Are they,
:16:56. > :17:03.in that way? Then denied in public. Sniefplt you see David Cameron's
:17:03. > :17:06.lead in the run-up is he was streets ahead. That.... They take
:17:06. > :17:12.them seriously. If they are behind they are not important. The's only
:17:12. > :17:15.one poll that is important, that is election day. If they are ahead,
:17:15. > :17:20.they are on top of the world. If you are doing badly the support
:17:20. > :17:23.is not there. It's like watching the share price. Same thing.
:17:23. > :17:29.had a few doubts, I seem to remember, about this coalition
:17:29. > :17:36.being formed at the time. Yes. One or two. Would you like to say
:17:36. > :17:40.tonight, I stand totally vindicated, Charles Kennedy. I stand partly
:17:40. > :17:46.vindicated? I stand a wee bit vindicated?
:17:46. > :17:53.I'm a great believer in the economy of expression. You feel vindicated?
:17:53. > :17:58.I don't feel vindicated. You just said you did. Answering the point,
:17:58. > :18:05.seriously - I think the anxieties some of us expressed have been
:18:05. > :18:10.vindicated. I mention Scotland. The night we aagreed to the deal I said
:18:10. > :18:15.I cannot raise my hand from this. I am a Democrat. This will play badly
:18:15. > :18:20.at the next elections in Scotland. We lost a lot. It is not just
:18:20. > :18:24.Scotland. Mr Clegg told your party, peers and MPs, he said he didn't
:18:24. > :18:29.want to go down in history as the last leader of the Liberal
:18:29. > :18:33.Democrats by calling a general election. In other words, if there
:18:33. > :18:37.was an election, you lot are stuffed. And when the original
:18:37. > :18:43.coalition agreement was made, the argument I was putting forward was
:18:43. > :18:46.we'd be better off in opposition, have a minority Tory Government.
:18:46. > :18:53.Vote with them when you think it is right.
:18:53. > :18:58.Hold on a minute. Let me finish. great compatriot and a great man.
:18:58. > :19:03.He recognised.... Are you implying I am not democratic! You are trying
:19:03. > :19:08.to wind Charles up. I am not. I believe this. He recognised the
:19:08. > :19:14.deficit was the major problem. There had to be an austerity
:19:14. > :19:19.Government. It had to last to 2015. He will stick through it through --
:19:19. > :19:23.to it through thick and thin. that decision was taken I was of
:19:24. > :19:26.the view it would last through thick and thin. Eremain of that
:19:26. > :19:31.view despite the Europe difficulties last week. Is there
:19:31. > :19:37.not a danger for Labour it will be seen as too pro Europe and there
:19:37. > :19:41.are too votes on the left or right by being too pro Europe? We have to
:19:41. > :19:45.be careful of that T I am pro Europe in the general sense. What
:19:45. > :19:50.is happening to the euro was always going to happen. Actually, what we
:19:50. > :19:54.have to look at now is what's going to happen to the euro, because the
:19:54. > :19:58.survival of the euro depends on the German voting public being prepared
:19:58. > :20:02.to put its hand in its pocket and bail out Mediterranean countries.
:20:02. > :20:07.They show no sign they want to do that. Labour ought to remind us
:20:07. > :20:13.that the man David played on the television, Tony Blair, kept us out
:20:13. > :20:18.of the euro. He is a great man. grateful nation would like to thank
:20:18. > :20:26.you for that. Not me. Thank him personally, I think.
:20:26. > :20:30.We are running out of time. Come back in. Give them another question.
:20:30. > :20:36.Right, which cowboy, who shot from the hip, and missed, has the X
:20:36. > :20:44.Factor? Charles looks lost. Can't you get
:20:44. > :20:52.it? He always looks lost! Give them a clue. He's a bit of a
:20:52. > :21:02.Dick. George Bush. Get it? answer is the republic and
:21:02. > :21:02.
:21:02. > :21:07.Presidential candidate Perry. Commerce, education and the -
:21:07. > :21:15.what's the third one there? The third agency of Government, I would
:21:15. > :21:21.do away with education, the.... Um.... Commerce and, let's see... I
:21:21. > :21:27.can't, the third one, I can't. Sorry. Whoops!
:21:27. > :21:34.This is not as bad as the candidate who had to admit he tied the dog to
:21:34. > :21:40.the roof of his car when they drove to Canada. At least Sarah Palin was
:21:40. > :21:50.honest about shooting animals. Now back to Downturn Abbey as we return
:21:50. > :21:51.
:21:51. > :21:55.to Lord Letwin and Butler Kevin Maguire dreaming of better days.
:21:55. > :22:05.It was the night before Christmas, when all through the flat not a
:22:05. > :22:07.
:22:07. > :22:17.creature was stirring, well almost. SNORING
:22:17. > :22:19.
:22:19. > :22:26.sleep. Do you think Father Christmas has been along yet?
:22:26. > :22:33.sure soon. My Lord, I have been thinking, why are we fighting the
:22:33. > :22:43.French? It seems only like yesterday that Cameron and Sarkozy
:22:43. > :22:44.
:22:44. > :22:50.were the best of friends. # Ding, dong merryly on high #
:22:50. > :22:56.No more holding of hands now. Cameron gambled taking on Gaddafi.
:22:56. > :23:00.Even the Americans had their doubts. It wasn't an easy start. Probably
:23:00. > :23:06.not the best idea to helicopter in Special Forces to talk to the
:23:06. > :23:08.opposition. The British public are entitled to wonder if some new
:23:08. > :23:12.neighbours moved into the Foreign Secretary's street he would
:23:12. > :23:16.introduce himself by ringing the door bell or choose to climb over
:23:16. > :23:22.the fence in the middle of the night. You have to say it paid off,
:23:22. > :23:30.even if no-one knows where the Arab Spring is heading, I think
:23:30. > :23:35.Britain's top brass handled the matter quite well. In with arm
:23:35. > :23:38.manufacturers is going to get growth back. Are we saying for all
:23:38. > :23:43.time, countries like Kuwait have to manufacture and maintain every
:23:43. > :23:47.single part of their own defences? Lord Letwin was trying to drift
:23:47. > :23:52.back to sleep to dream of the good old days of Downturn. The Troubles
:23:52. > :23:58.of the world were keeping me awake. If you are going abroad you should
:23:58. > :24:04.let the staff know when you'll be back. Thank you! Gave me my
:24:04. > :24:09.favourite quotation of the year. What's the point of Nick Clegg?
:24:09. > :24:13.The first Deputy Prime Minister in British history to fail to turn up
:24:13. > :24:20.to work when the Prime Minister's across for a week.
:24:20. > :24:25.I think I am wanting to ask - what's the point of Nick Clegg?
:24:25. > :24:30.Still, I suppose travelling abroad does have its perils. You have to
:24:30. > :24:35.be careful who you meet. Last week's media frenzy was not
:24:35. > :24:41.unprecedented. It happens. We're a necessary free press and politics
:24:41. > :24:45.collide. I believe, there was in some quarters, a personal
:24:45. > :24:50.vindictiveness, that should worry all of us. Yes, it was all the
:24:50. > :25:00.press's fault. My duvet, I think. No, it's not.
:25:00. > :25:03.
:25:03. > :25:11.It's mine. No, it's not. It's mine. What would Christmas Day and the
:25:11. > :25:16.New Year bring? Who said social mobility is dead? So long as it is
:25:16. > :25:21.downwards. The Prime Minister took a risk in Libya. It went right. The
:25:21. > :25:26.gamble paid off. Yes, some do. This Week, we have been thinking about
:25:26. > :25:29.Iraq with the Americans withdrawing. There's one that didn't come off. I
:25:29. > :25:35.was very surprised that David Cameron after the experiences of
:25:35. > :25:39.Iraq and Afghanistan would commit forces. He said you cannot enforce
:25:39. > :25:43.democracy from 30,000 feet. It did come off. I think British foreign
:25:43. > :25:47.policy is hard to understand. I think the rule of Bahrain was
:25:47. > :25:50.recently welcomed in Downing Street. So, some dictators who have been op
:25:50. > :25:55.pressing their people are welcome in Downing Street. Others are
:25:55. > :26:01.bombed. I think there's a message there. If you expect consistency
:26:01. > :26:06.you'll have a long wait. The most embarrassing pictures involve your
:26:06. > :26:11.former leader and Mr Gaddafi. Blair and Mr Gaddafi. Best of
:26:11. > :26:15.friends. They were embarrassing. There you go. That was new Labour
:26:15. > :26:25.for you. All down to new Labour! Old Labour would not have touched
:26:25. > :26:26.
:26:26. > :26:32.him with a barge pole. Mr Scargill tried to get money out of it
:26:32. > :26:37.think it was Napoleon who said, give me lucky generals. He was
:26:37. > :26:46.lucky it did not turn into a ground war. There was consensus in the
:26:46. > :26:51.House against that. Is the Arab Spring still spring, or is it now
:26:51. > :26:57.winter Where I have been is in the south of Lebanon. It's on the
:26:57. > :27:02.border of the north, it is kicking off. I run a charity for children
:27:02. > :27:06.in camps in the south. I don't get much of a sense, once you are in
:27:06. > :27:13.the camps you are not getting -- you are dealing the day-to-day
:27:13. > :27:19.really. You do it and keep it going.
:27:19. > :27:23.We have done things in those camps. Conditions are tough. Certainly for
:27:23. > :27:28.the Palestinian refugees there. As the country as large I don't get
:27:28. > :27:35.much of a sense. Don't you worry that all liberal revolutions devour
:27:35. > :27:41.their own children. We've had the Muslim Brotherhood win in Tunisia.
:27:41. > :27:47.The second biggest party, the party which came second, hard-line, much
:27:47. > :27:56.more so than the Muslim Brotherhood. Syria, a clampdown, the Gulf run by
:27:56. > :27:58.kings. It's not going great, is it? There's no sense, I don't think the
:27:58. > :28:02.most crack-pot right-wingers in the Bushill administration, in the
:28:02. > :28:07.States would have argued if you could somehow shove bits of the
:28:07. > :28:11.Middle East in the direction of something resembleing democracy,
:28:11. > :28:15.that would be democracy of a liberal democratic nature. It's not
:28:15. > :28:19.just going to happen. It's all relative. There is a kind of
:28:19. > :28:23.democracy in that region. It's called Iraq. A kind of democracy,
:28:23. > :28:27.yes. Well, I suppose that's better than
:28:27. > :28:31.what went before. I think the price that's got to be weighed is the
:28:31. > :28:38.fact that of all those uncounted, unnamed, tens of thousands, perhaps
:28:38. > :28:45.hundreds of thousands.... Certainly tens and tens.
:28:45. > :28:50.The price was high. The memorys of that, in those families -- memories
:28:50. > :28:55.of that in those families, will go beyond our grandchildren's lifetime.
:28:55. > :29:00.You are in danger of saying because the Tunisian and Egyptian elections
:29:00. > :29:04.have not worked out how we would have liked, that's not democracy.
:29:04. > :29:09.Is a challenge. It is still democracy.
:29:09. > :29:12.That's like saying Hitler was elected. When you elect people who
:29:13. > :29:18.don't believe in democracy then you're in trouble. We will see
:29:18. > :29:24.where we get to in the future. do you think the story will end, or
:29:24. > :29:27.at least not end? What is the next stage? Well, in Egypt I think it is
:29:27. > :29:31.possible that the Muslim Brotherhood will respect the
:29:31. > :29:35.election process and there will be another election when their time is
:29:35. > :29:41.up. I don't think we should despair of the Muslim Brotherhood. I don't
:29:41. > :29:47.want to be starry eyed. I don't think we should throw our hands in
:29:47. > :29:54.the air and say the whole thing is over. It is not. Yet they have
:29:54. > :30:04.banned sun bathing and not wearing too many clothes in Sharm El-Sheikh.
:30:04. > :30:05.
:30:05. > :30:10.They have not actually done that. It's a definition where you have a
:30:10. > :30:15.certain freedom to do what you want. In France, they banned the burqa.
:30:15. > :30:20.Not when you are sunbathing. We are getting lost in the sunbathing
:30:20. > :30:25.thing. We are. Certain policies decide to ban clothing and I think
:30:25. > :30:29.that's bad. Are you as optimistic as Michael My optimism is so
:30:29. > :30:34.heavily qualified, that it's not quite pessimism, but it's probably
:30:34. > :30:38.realism, let's put it like that. How do you feel? I think you have
:30:38. > :30:42.to be optimistic. That's where it's about negotiation with people
:30:42. > :30:47.talking and being open. You have to wait and see. You don't think you
:30:47. > :30:51.should make decisions here and now. There's a long way to go and you go
:30:51. > :30:57.forward hopefully. The interesting thing would be to see what the West
:30:57. > :31:02.reaction is, because we never saw this coming. Our expensive Foreign
:31:02. > :31:05.Office camel corps never told us this was going to happen. It was
:31:06. > :31:10.completely unforeseen this time last year. Maybe we have no idea
:31:10. > :31:14.what will happen next. We usually have no idea about most things.
:31:14. > :31:22.Jonny, come back in here. Show the audience how useless they are.
:31:22. > :31:32.yeah. They're not bad. It is Christmas. The spirit of Christmas
:31:32. > :31:33.
:31:33. > :31:38.is still alive and well. Here we go. Which godfather, who got his just
:31:38. > :31:43.desserts has the X Factor? better give them a clue. This would
:31:43. > :31:49.be Gaddafi, perhaps. No. Much worse than that. If I give you a clue,
:31:49. > :31:58.Michael, you will get it. It's Bashar Al-Assad. That's your two
:31:58. > :32:08.strikes and you're out. The clue. Right. The perpetrator was taken in
:32:08. > :32:13.
:32:13. > :32:19.to custardy. This would be Osama Bin Laden. Right. Run the VT. I
:32:19. > :32:23.know you did, Jonny. I was trying to make it easy. I thought it was
:32:23. > :32:29.about being accused of being a godfather. Sometimes you need to
:32:29. > :32:34.spell it out. Try another one, because we are on a roll here.
:32:34. > :32:44.got to get this one. Which conference comedian has the X
:32:44. > :32:47.
:32:47. > :32:53.Factor? Give them another clue. She's not short of material.
:32:53. > :32:59.should know this. A tall comedian. She is a conference comedian and
:32:59. > :33:02.she is short. Oh, Sarah Teather. Run the tape. I want to get back to
:33:03. > :33:09.my hotel room to watch Strictly Come Dancing. Do you watch it? Of
:33:09. > :33:14.course you do. I heard they've got Peter haun booked for the next
:33:14. > :33:20.series. He's -- Peter Hain booked for the next series. He's doing the
:33:20. > :33:23.tango or has he been tang owed. Record has been out shopping with
:33:23. > :33:27.Andy Coulson and they've bought him a pair of tap shoes for the next
:33:27. > :33:37.series. Back to George Osborne, you heard he's quite keen to get on the
:33:37. > :33:39.
:33:39. > :33:47.show as well. He wants to do a line dance. She kept going. She didn't
:33:47. > :33:55.know what to do. Jonny come back later. Sarah Teather has says she
:33:55. > :33:57.no longer wants to borrow our script writer. Time to return --
:33:57. > :34:00.Time now to open our final Christmas present and return to
:34:01. > :34:03.Downturn Abbey. Look at Michael's little face, he's so excited! What
:34:03. > :34:06.will Santa bring Lord Letts and his struggling servants? Will butler
:34:06. > :34:16.Maguire save Christmas and will they all return home to Downturn in
:34:16. > :34:29.
:34:29. > :34:33.It was Christmas morning. Lord Letts was still dreaming of a
:34:33. > :34:43.return to the good old days of boom and bust, but outside the streets
:34:43. > :34:43.
:34:43. > :34:47.were full of festive cheer. Maguire, come quickly. Look outside.
:34:47. > :34:57.Wow. Look at that. It's all kicking off down there. Looking really
:34:57. > :35:04.tasty. Our revolutionary brothers and sisters are throwing off shir
:35:05. > :35:10.shackles. Hor ray for -- their shackles. Horray for comrade
:35:10. > :35:15.Cameron. Him next door will have to start helping around here. OK,
:35:15. > :35:22.after I get his breakfast. Is it Christmas Day already? Revolution's
:35:22. > :35:25.broken out. They are revolting. The prifleplgd lot like you will soon
:35:25. > :35:34.be out db privileged lot like you will soon be out on your ear, but
:35:34. > :35:41.first would you like breakfast? boiled eggs with soldiers. After
:35:41. > :35:44.breakfast I persuaded Lord Letts to spread some good cheer. I bet
:35:44. > :35:49.there's no-one else in that tent. The real protest ez are just
:35:49. > :35:54.beginning. Remember what happened when the for -- protests are just
:35:54. > :35:59.beginning. Remember what happened when the Tories tried to steal
:35:59. > :36:05.pensions. Yes, lovely. To those considering strike action, at a
:36:05. > :36:09.time when discussions or on-going, I would say to you these strikes
:36:09. > :36:14.are wrong. Not that comrade Miliband always covered himself in
:36:14. > :36:17.glory. He needs to be fiery and louder and clearer. He was good on
:36:17. > :36:22.Murdoch and threw his lot in with the people in the tents, but then
:36:22. > :36:26.disowned the striking workers. Sometimes it just feels like he's
:36:27. > :36:32.not knowing whether he's coming or going. He had a pretty good middle
:36:32. > :36:39.of the year. I like the way he took on that rueperts Murdoch. He's got
:36:39. > :36:42.balls, but he -- Ruperts Murdoch. He's got balds, but he also has Ed
:36:42. > :36:51.Balls. He's not going to get far until he dumps that Shadow
:36:51. > :36:55.Chancellor of his. Poor old Nick Clog has gone to looking weedy. He
:36:55. > :36:59.lost his referendum on electoral reform and on Europe and he had to
:36:59. > :37:04.hide in his office instead of going to the House of Commons. You will
:37:04. > :37:09.see a strong liberal identity in a strong coalition Government. You
:37:10. > :37:14.might even call it muscular liberalism. All three have been arm
:37:14. > :37:19.wrestling with factions in their parties. Nick Clegg on the
:37:19. > :37:26.coalition. Cameron on Europe. And Ed Miliband on support for the
:37:26. > :37:29.unions and strike. I hate to admit the only man who has come out
:37:29. > :37:38.looking stronger is the man in charge and that's for all the wrong
:37:38. > :37:41.reasons, David Cameron. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll all be back in
:37:41. > :37:51.Downturn next year. Besides, I'm being paid my bonus and it's time
:37:51. > :37:54.
:37:54. > :37:59.you were given your presents. Happy Christmas. Thank you. But, my Lord,
:37:59. > :38:06.it's a P45. Exactly, it's time you all joined the self-employed and
:38:06. > :38:09.then we can all be millionaires. God save us, every one. So, dear
:38:09. > :38:14.Polly I hope you are coping with life in the work house. Maybe next
:38:15. > :38:18.year we'll all get back to Downturn. There's talk of a big push here in
:38:18. > :38:28.Europe in the new year. Whatever happens, it's a lot safer than
:38:28. > :38:30.
:38:30. > :38:33.being back home. Merry Christmas. Great stuff. You kind of think the
:38:33. > :38:37.acting profession hasn't got much to worry about. David, you
:38:37. > :38:40.mentioned at the start, the riots and leaving London when they were
:38:41. > :38:45.beginning to kick off. We have had the riots and the occupy movement
:38:45. > :38:50.and public sector strikes. But given state of the economy and how
:38:50. > :38:54.much people are hurting, isn't it surprising there's not been more
:38:55. > :38:59.protests? There is, but the big danger is apathy. That people feel
:38:59. > :39:03.they can't do anything or make any difference, that they are not being
:39:03. > :39:07.listened to. I think last year was very interesting. I felt the riots
:39:07. > :39:11.were the end of a really long list of things where people had looked
:39:11. > :39:16.at this and there was no moral guidance from anybody. They were
:39:16. > :39:20.looking at this sort of politician $and looking at the newspaper
:39:20. > :39:24.industry and it -- politicians and looking at the newspaper industry
:39:24. > :39:30.and it was as if the perfect storm had happened and then the incidents
:39:30. > :39:39.in Tottenham just set it off. we clearer to know Diane, whether
:39:39. > :39:43.the riots had some fundamental causes or were basically an abhor
:39:43. > :39:48.ration? I think the Tottenham riot was different from what happened
:39:48. > :39:52.after. It was a classic race riot. A black man died at the hapbtdz of
:39:52. > :39:59.the police. But what -- hands at the police. But what cascaded and
:39:59. > :40:03.what happened in Clapham and Salford, was different. I think
:40:03. > :40:08.these are people that feel they have nothing to lose, no stake in
:40:08. > :40:15.society. There's a horrible streak of terialism. They didn't look book
:40:15. > :40:21.shops, but trainer shops and mobile -- materialism. They didn't loot
:40:21. > :40:25.book shops, but trainer shops and mobile phone shops. Do you agree
:40:25. > :40:29.with that? Yeah, I think I do. I would like to go back on the point
:40:29. > :40:32.David made. I think public opinion is having an effect. I don't mean
:40:32. > :40:37.riots, but public opinion. The coalition is committed to splitting
:40:37. > :40:40.the high street banks from the investment arms. It is demanding
:40:40. > :40:44.greater capitalisation of the banks. I think public opinion has kept the
:40:44. > :40:47.focus on the problem of banking in this country in a serious way and
:40:47. > :40:53.we'll see more action on the banks. I think middle England actually is
:40:53. > :40:58.very cross with the bankers. It is very cross. In a sense it's
:40:58. > :41:03.splietly surprising that the capitalist party is doing so well
:41:03. > :41:08.in the polls. You were once the protest vote, the Lib Dems. That
:41:08. > :41:12.ain't going to happen for the foreseeable future? I wouldn't have
:41:12. > :41:15.thought so. There is a by-election on tonight, but I don't think there
:41:15. > :41:19.is any evident in the course of this brief campaign that the Lib
:41:19. > :41:26.Dems will be any beneficiaries of anything. You were going to come
:41:26. > :41:32.behind the BNP or something. knows. We'll see the result. That
:41:32. > :41:35.sense of escape valve has gone. Which the Liberal Democrats offered.
:41:35. > :41:38.Labour are not offering it. The Conservatives in Government and
:41:38. > :41:42.that means you have got to be careful here in England. That's
:41:43. > :41:46.there's not a non-Parliamentary. There is an extreme form of
:41:46. > :41:51.expression. That's why I just said to David it's surprising there
:41:51. > :41:57.hasn't been more of an extra Parliamentary protest. It's our
:41:57. > :42:04.yes/no interlude and I want yes or no, not maybe or ah. Will Ed
:42:04. > :42:10.Miliband survive the year. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I hate it when you
:42:10. > :42:18.all agree. Will the coalition survive not just next year, but all
:42:18. > :42:28.the way through to 2015, Charles? Yes. No. No. Yes. 50/50. I like
:42:28. > :42:29.
:42:29. > :42:34.that. Will 2012 be tougher than 2011? Yes. Yes Yes. You are all
:42:34. > :42:40.right there. We ain't seen nothing yet. Nothing about the euro.
:42:40. > :42:44.right. Will all 17 countries be members by the end of 2012
:42:44. > :42:54.answer is No. You can't wait for that to happen. Jonny come back.
:42:54. > :42:56.
:42:56. > :43:06.This is our final question. Which long, tall gadget freak has the X
:43:06. > :43:13.
:43:13. > :43:19.Factor? Give them a clue. She can't stop rab iting on. -- rab it -- rab
:43:19. > :43:27.bitting on. Mr Bercow. -- Mrs Bercow. What's that noise? It's a
:43:27. > :43:34.rabbit. Special thanks to Jonny and David for being our special guests
:43:34. > :43:37.tonight. Diane we are used to. That's your lot for tonight folks.
:43:37. > :43:40.In fact, that's your lot for 2011. It's mince-pie-and-a-pint night at
:43:40. > :43:43.Annabel's, which means that if Charles' cab can run a few red
:43:43. > :43:46.lights, within half an hour we'll all be happily snuggled-up in
:43:46. > :43:49.Diane's regular booth - watching Michael do the hokey-cokey with
:43:49. > :43:52.Alan Johnson and a drunken euro bond dealer called Stan. What a
:43:52. > :43:55.wonderful life. But we leave you with, who else, everyone's