:00:14. > :00:24.Hello, everybody. Is there an event on? Tonight, on the This Week grand
:00:25. > :00:32.tour, speed, adrenaline, fast cars and political punch. Commentator Dan
:00:33. > :00:39.Hodges goes on a journey to spreadsheet Phil's routes. This
:00:40. > :00:45.motor purrs, a proper Brexit beauty. And the best thing, now you can get
:00:46. > :00:50.her on HP, because borrowing is back in fashion. Tim Shipman from the
:00:51. > :00:55.Sunday Times rounds up an old banger of a political week. Frankly, with
:00:56. > :01:00.the Autumn Statement, Brexit and Trump, it's been a car crash. Road
:01:01. > :01:08.rage gets the better of Michael and Liz. And comedian Stewart Lee tells
:01:09. > :01:13.us to mind our manners. Our travelling tent is ready. We are all
:01:14. > :01:17.insured, I think, so let's hit the gas, because I travel in the fast
:01:18. > :01:19.lane, and prepare for the most expensive piece of television ever
:01:20. > :01:23.made, the This Week grand tour. And we begin with a financial update
:01:24. > :01:29.from our owners, This Week Incorporated,
:01:30. > :01:33.headquartered at PO Box 37,452, And, let me say, if you're ever
:01:34. > :01:40.in the BVIs, please come visit. You'll be surprised to discover
:01:41. > :01:43.that our HQ is an empty PO Box with a "Gone Fishing"
:01:44. > :01:45.sign hanging from it, which only illustrates our
:01:46. > :01:47.commitment to keeping corporate overheads down
:01:48. > :01:51.AND the work-life balance right. Our chief accountant,
:01:52. > :01:55.Spreadsheet Phil, has this week explained, when he said way back
:01:56. > :01:58.in 2010, that we'd bring revenue and spending into balance by 2015,
:01:59. > :02:04.what he clearly meant was that he'd increase our total debt from under
:02:05. > :02:09.?1 trillion to over ?1.6 trillion - and to hell with any of this
:02:10. > :02:13.balanced budget nonsense. And when last year he said
:02:14. > :02:15.that it was now company policy to balance the budget by 2020,
:02:16. > :02:19.that obviously implied raising our outstanding
:02:20. > :02:24.liabilities to ?2 trillion, which is a nice round figure too big
:02:25. > :02:28.for anybody really to understand. As he explained yesterday,
:02:29. > :02:31.circumstances have changed. Michael's Brazilian shirts are more
:02:32. > :02:34.expensive with the fall in the pound, the BBC cut our budget
:02:35. > :02:37.to make the new Top Gear such a success, we now have two dogs
:02:38. > :02:44.rather than one to look after - and there's a new producer's
:02:45. > :02:47.expensive drug habit To those of you who bought shares
:02:48. > :02:53.in This Week Inc in the belief that balancing the budget
:02:54. > :02:55.and reducing our debts were legally-binding fiduciary
:02:56. > :02:58.promises rather than just vague aspirations to ramp
:02:59. > :03:01.up the stock market, Spreadsheet Phil has
:03:02. > :03:04.two words for you. Which I guess is some kind of arcane
:03:05. > :03:09.financial instrument accountants Anyway, for those of you who think
:03:10. > :03:16.our corporate position somewhat precarious I can assure
:03:17. > :03:18.you there are those who regard us There are rumours of a takeover
:03:19. > :03:25.bid in the works from McDonnell-Corbyn Ltd,
:03:26. > :03:28.a Mega-Marxist conglomerate Apparently their business plan
:03:29. > :03:33.involves borrowing another half trillion on the sound basis that,
:03:34. > :03:36.since we're already two trillion in the red, who's going
:03:37. > :03:38.to notice? Speaking of those who owe a debt
:03:39. > :03:44.to public life that is likely never to be repaid, I'm joined on the sofa
:03:45. > :03:47.tonight by the South Sea Bubbles Liz #fourpercent Kendall,
:03:48. > :04:06.and Michael #choochoo Portillo. Your moment of the week, Michael?
:04:07. > :04:09.Let me clear my throat. President-elect Trump's latest
:04:10. > :04:12.humiliation of the British government by proposing nodule
:04:13. > :04:15.Farage should be the British ambassador to Washington. It was
:04:16. > :04:20.thought Donald Trump was very pro-British, and I think he is, and
:04:21. > :04:24.pro-Brexit, but this does not imply that he is pro-British government,
:04:25. > :04:28.because the British government is another establishment, and he is the
:04:29. > :04:32.antiestablishment figure. There is not a person in the Foreign Office,
:04:33. > :04:39.I don't suppose, who wanted to see victorious. Trump Our Prime Minister
:04:40. > :04:44.was pro-Remain, the Chancellor was heavily pro-Remain. The Chancellor
:04:45. > :04:48.was pro-Brexit but he is very anti-Trump, with a list of things he
:04:49. > :04:52.said about him. So there has been this error in believing that Donald
:04:53. > :04:55.Trump being pro-British would help the British government. He has no
:04:56. > :05:01.interest in helping the British government. That jacket has put life
:05:02. > :05:09.into you. You should wear it more often. Warn us, and we can put on
:05:10. > :05:15.sunglasses. Very different. It is the victory in the first primary
:05:16. > :05:18.round for the French presidential election. Unfortunately, with the
:05:19. > :05:21.Socialists doing so badly in the polls, whoever wins the nomination
:05:22. > :05:25.is likely to be up against Marine Le Pen. That is a hugely important
:05:26. > :05:34.election, not just for France but for the rest of Europe. It is, and
:05:35. > :05:37.it is not quite clear yet. It is clear the Socialists will probably
:05:38. > :05:39.get knocked out, and then it is on to the National front against the
:05:40. > :05:41.times. Now, Spreadsheet Phil wasn't
:05:42. > :05:43.always chained to his desk meticulously colour coding Excel
:05:44. > :05:45.rows and columns. A long time ago, back when you,
:05:46. > :05:48.dear viewers, were just a twinkle in your father's eye,
:05:49. > :05:50.our Phil was out wheeling and dealing, not in triple locks
:05:51. > :05:54.or OBR forecasts, but motors. The wheels of our
:05:55. > :05:56.economy, you might say. Think of him as the Arthur Daley
:05:57. > :05:58.of his day. Young Phil knew his Ford
:05:59. > :06:01.Fiesta from his Bugatti. One was a clapped out British car,
:06:02. > :06:04.he explained, the other Clearly Spreadsheet wasn't cut
:06:05. > :06:09.out for the motor trade The Mail On Sunday's Dan Hodges
:06:10. > :06:14.was determined to try some method acting to really get
:06:15. > :06:17.into Spreadsheet's head and understand the Autumn Statement
:06:18. > :06:20.in the context of his personal MUSIC: Theme from Minder
:06:21. > :06:49.by Dennis Waterman. About 2 trillion on the clock,
:06:50. > :06:56.but you don't need And you know what she's really
:06:57. > :06:59.great at? The audit of the Government books
:07:00. > :07:12.saw Philip Hammond accelerating away from a commitment to balancing them
:07:13. > :07:17.by 2020 and putting in place The 2015 election was defined
:07:18. > :07:23.by one issue. But now the deficit isn't even
:07:24. > :07:33.on the forecourt. When Ed Miliband forgot to mention
:07:34. > :07:36.it at his conference speech, he was accused of being
:07:37. > :07:40.entirely unfit for office. To an extent, this
:07:41. > :07:47.U-turn is being driven That's why Philip Hammond's decided
:07:48. > :07:55.to release the handbrake. He thinks our exit from
:07:56. > :07:58.the European Union is going to slow A half decent political opposition
:07:59. > :08:06.would have made a fortune But like a clapped-out old banger,
:08:07. > :08:17.Labour just keeps spluttering along. So a new dividing
:08:18. > :08:21.line has opened up. With the Labour Party now
:08:22. > :08:24.an irrelevance, it's Theresa May and George Osborne that sit
:08:25. > :08:27.on opposite sides of the political and fiscal dividing line that
:08:28. > :08:33.will define the next decade. If Theresa May successfully steers
:08:34. > :08:35.us through the Brexit storm, then it's likely that Osbornomics
:08:36. > :08:37.will be permanently erased But if she falters, then it's just
:08:38. > :08:46.possible George Osborne could again find himself
:08:47. > :08:52.in the driving seat. Come on, let's take
:08:53. > :09:03.it for a test drive. Thank you to our new friends
:09:04. > :09:06.at Harringtons of Fulham for allowing us to film
:09:07. > :09:10.at their car dealership. We'd like to point out
:09:11. > :09:12.they certainly do not sell old bangers, nor do they share
:09:13. > :09:22.Arthur Daley's moral compass! Dan Hodges joins us. Welcome to the
:09:23. > :09:30.programme. Michael, can this be said to be an Autumn Statement that
:09:31. > :09:35.prepares Britain for Brexit? It is... It shows a great deal of
:09:36. > :09:41.caution. The Chancellor has chosen to follow the logic of the forecasts
:09:42. > :09:46.that have been published by the OBR. And that has led him to spend money
:09:47. > :09:49.on infrastructure but also to completely revise, and I'm highly
:09:50. > :09:56.agree with Dan, completely revise the deficit profile. But what we had
:09:57. > :10:01.after June 23 was as great a change, or as great a change as we normally
:10:02. > :10:06.have when the government changes between one party and another. The
:10:07. > :10:09.change to David Cameron from Theresa May, from George Osborne to Phillip
:10:10. > :10:13.Hammond, has been a complete change of government and we now have an
:10:14. > :10:17.absolutely different policy. I sympathise a lot with what you said
:10:18. > :10:20.in the film. I have felt the frustration myself. The fact is that
:10:21. > :10:23.governments are allowed to do almost whatever they want because as soon
:10:24. > :10:28.as they do it it is kind of believable. Whereas oppositions are
:10:29. > :10:32.always struggling to say, we would like to borrow a bit more and people
:10:33. > :10:35.say, you can't possibly do that, but the government always has the
:10:36. > :10:39.permission to do it. So the frustration that you feel that the
:10:40. > :10:42.opposition must feel is actually one that all oppositions feel because
:10:43. > :10:45.the government can get away with virtually anything. Actually, the
:10:46. > :10:50.Autumn Statement has been well received by the markets and the
:10:51. > :10:56.press. Now that the Tories are converted to borrow to invest, where
:10:57. > :10:59.does that leave Labour? I think the Autumn Statement has failed to deal
:11:00. > :11:04.with the two long-term underlying problems in the economy. First, that
:11:05. > :11:09.growth is not fairly spread across the country, and second that many
:11:10. > :11:13.people's wages have been stagnating and they are set to stagnate even
:11:14. > :11:19.more. Then you have the triple whammy, what's happening on Brexit.
:11:20. > :11:24.Forecasts are notoriously difficult to make, but even if they are in the
:11:25. > :11:27.ballpark of what the OBR has said, an additional ?58 billion of
:11:28. > :11:31.borrowing to pay for Brexit is a huge hit to the economy. So I don't
:11:32. > :11:35.think he took the long term decisions. Let me come back to my
:11:36. > :11:40.question, now that the Tories have converted to borrow to invest, what
:11:41. > :11:43.does Labour do? It is right that they want to borrow to invest in
:11:44. > :11:47.capital and infrastructure, but they are not investing in the Emperor
:11:48. > :11:50.structure I believe in the right parts of the country, or in the
:11:51. > :11:54.right way, and many of their decisions will hit the just about
:11:55. > :12:00.managing group that Theresa May says she wants to help. That is the real
:12:01. > :12:05.problem. Where does it leave Labour? Labour is still where it always is,
:12:06. > :12:10.absolutely nowhere. That should have been the statement that cost the
:12:11. > :12:17.Tories the next election. That should have been Theresa May's Black
:12:18. > :12:21.Wednesday. Absolutely staggering fiscal and political U-turn. But
:12:22. > :12:25.again, Labour is not in a position to exploit it. The reason Labour is
:12:26. > :12:29.not in a position to exploit it actually is the same reason why Ed
:12:30. > :12:32.Miliband and Ed Balls were not in a position to exploit the previous
:12:33. > :12:36.government's difficulties, because whatever the government says it is
:12:37. > :12:40.going to spend, Labour cannot get out of the mindset of saying,
:12:41. > :12:43.whatever you spend, we will spend billions more. I think John
:12:44. > :12:47.McDonnell's current figure is 500 million more that Labour is going to
:12:48. > :12:50.spend. That is why Labour cannot exploit what should be the
:12:51. > :12:55.fundamental weakness of the Government, fiscal incompetence.
:12:56. > :12:59.Have we got this right, the way of doing Autumn Statement 's and
:13:00. > :13:03.budgets? Does it make sense to base a whole fiscal strategy for the next
:13:04. > :13:09.five years on forecasts that are no more than guesses, with so much
:13:10. > :13:14.uncertainty around that even the OBR says there may only be a 50% chance
:13:15. > :13:20.of them being right? Is this a sensible way to proceed? When I was
:13:21. > :13:26.in the Treasury, a bright spark said to me, all Treasury forecasts are
:13:27. > :13:31.50% wrong. I said you are really onto something. Are they 50% too
:13:32. > :13:34.high, or too low? He fell silent because we know they are wrong but
:13:35. > :13:38.we do not know how they are wrong. The situation may be much better
:13:39. > :13:43.than set out, but it is also possible it could be much worse.
:13:44. > :13:47.What does the Chancellor do? Since we have established the independence
:13:48. > :13:50.of the OBR and the reports published, I think being a new
:13:51. > :13:57.Chancellor he would be pretty full Hardeep to ignore the forecasts and
:13:58. > :14:06.to say, I will take a rosier view. -- he would be pretty full Hardeep.
:14:07. > :14:11.I suppose going for the forecast is as rational a position as any other.
:14:12. > :14:20.If the forecasts are right, this Conservative government, by 2021,
:14:21. > :14:27.will have presided over a decade of no wage growth in real terms, no
:14:28. > :14:30.wage growth higher than inflation. Which is remarkable, unprecedented
:14:31. > :14:36.in modern times, and not good for the people Theresa May keeps talking
:14:37. > :14:44.about. And yet it looks like it pays no political price for that. Labour
:14:45. > :14:47.needs them to pay a political price for it. You say you can't trust the
:14:48. > :14:52.forecast but you can trust experience. We know that the Tories
:14:53. > :14:57.have failed to hit the borrowing and debt targets, we know that we've
:14:58. > :15:02.already seen wages stagnate actually since before the financial crash. We
:15:03. > :15:07.know that the only two regions in the country whose GDP has got back
:15:08. > :15:11.to pre-crisis levels is London and the south-east so we need a big push
:15:12. > :15:14.out to the other regions. They say they'll invest in infrastructure, it
:15:15. > :15:18.doesn't come on board, they cancel many of the railway and other
:15:19. > :15:24.infrastructure projects and house-building. So why are they
:15:25. > :15:27.paying no price? Over the last five years they were more trusted on the
:15:28. > :15:31.economy than Labour was. That's why over this Parliament we have to make
:15:32. > :15:36.sure that they do pay the price of their past failures but also this
:15:37. > :15:40.cost of Brexit, this ?60 billion cost of Brexit and I think that is
:15:41. > :15:46.the most important thing. Actually where the divide in the Tory is, you
:15:47. > :15:50.are already seeing reports of the Tories who voted Remain really in
:15:51. > :15:56.fury over the forecasts. Really? Who is? Reports tonight of people like
:15:57. > :16:05.Nicky Morgan. She's will always in fury. Rightly so. Who else? People
:16:06. > :16:15.like Anna Soubry. She's always in fury. Why does that make it any less
:16:16. > :16:20.relevant. I'm looking for new names, rather than the same ones? If the
:16:21. > :16:22.Government went three-and-a-half years with no increase in real
:16:23. > :16:26.wages, I think there would be a danger that it would pay a political
:16:27. > :16:30.price, particularly since the Prime Minister's committed herself to help
:16:31. > :16:35.the people who're just about managing. Therefore, of course, the
:16:36. > :16:40.temptation to have a general election earlier than that is
:16:41. > :16:45.enormous. Mrs May's made a lot about these just about managing. She
:16:46. > :16:50.talked about the steps of Downing Street, the Tory conference, the
:16:51. > :16:53.CBI, but you look at the Autumn Statement, there's next to nothing
:16:54. > :16:58.for the just about managings? No, and that is the thing. If you look
:16:59. > :17:00.at what the IFS said today, they were very specific that actually
:17:01. > :17:04.where there is the increase in spending in this ?10 billion, a
:17:05. > :17:08.significant amount, it's going into infrastructure and not sort of
:17:09. > :17:12.alleviating the pressure on the JAMs. I think that's because people
:17:13. > :17:17.learnt something else from this Autumn Statement. There's been a
:17:18. > :17:22.debate about post-war Brexit about whether people were being too
:17:23. > :17:26.pessimistic, about whether the figures were too pessimistic. Philip
:17:27. > :17:30.Hammond thinks Brexit will be an albatross around the neck of the
:17:31. > :17:33.British economy. That is why he is going for the significant capital
:17:34. > :17:40.investment boost because he thinks he needs to put that floor under the
:17:41. > :17:44.British economy. But if inflation rises, if mortgage rates follow and
:17:45. > :17:49.living standards are squeezed in the way we've talked about, maybe Labour
:17:50. > :17:54.has a bigger chance than you think? Well, we'll have to see, but there
:17:55. > :18:01.is no evidence yet - I mean obviously we have had the
:18:02. > :18:07.post-Brexit scenario - Theresa May's just out of sight in terms of the
:18:08. > :18:11.opinion poll ratings. As I said, Labour cannot get itself into a
:18:12. > :18:14.position where it can exploit the difficulties on this because Labour
:18:15. > :18:17.simply does not have any credibility itself on the economy.
:18:18. > :18:24.We are using forecasts from the sort of people who told us we'd be in
:18:25. > :18:30.medium term recession if we voted to leave, collapse in house prices
:18:31. > :18:35.500,000 lost jobs, the OBR forecast shows lower growth, no recession, no
:18:36. > :18:40.collapse in house prices, no 500,000 lost jobs? We have covered that
:18:41. > :18:44.already, the forecast is incredible but we don't exactly know how it
:18:45. > :18:49.will be incredible. But I think there is some political danger over
:18:50. > :18:53.a three-and-a-half year period if Theresa May doesn't find a way of
:18:54. > :18:58.helping the JAMs and we have a budget in the spring and that may
:18:59. > :19:03.look very differently. Meanwhile, the Labour voter is being, you know,
:19:04. > :19:07.the rag that's being waved at the Labour voter is immigration and I
:19:08. > :19:10.think there is great peril that Labour voters will be going over to
:19:11. > :19:13.the Conservatives in northern seats and if she can keep immigration in
:19:14. > :19:15.front of their faces, perhaps they won't think too much about the
:19:16. > :19:18.economy. We shall see as the months go on.
:19:19. > :19:22.Thank you for being with us. Now it's late, sherry and a cheeky
:19:23. > :19:27.snog with Phil Hammond late. But if, like us, you find
:19:28. > :19:31.all this kiss and tell a bit But if, like us, you find all this
:19:32. > :19:34.kiss and tell a bit Comedian and columnist Stewart Lee
:19:35. > :19:40.is waiting in the salubrious This Week waiting room to set us
:19:41. > :19:42.all straight, as he puts This Week waiting room
:19:43. > :19:44.to set us all straight, An ironic choice perhaps,
:19:45. > :19:54.considering his recent incendiary and inappropriate comments
:19:55. > :19:59.about Molly the Dog. If you were wondering what all those
:20:00. > :20:02.Labour MPs could have possibly been doing on their phones
:20:03. > :20:05.during John McDonnell's reply to the Autumn Statement, truth is,
:20:06. > :20:08.they were all racing to poor Like them, we encourage
:20:09. > :20:12.you to join our hacktivism, start the snap-chatter,
:20:13. > :20:14.fire up fiercebook, let's get a twittornado going,
:20:15. > :20:17.we're using #Mollydarity. Now, Liz, Michael
:20:18. > :20:20.and I have some news. I know, it's amazing
:20:21. > :20:24.we've lasted so long. But it came to head when producer
:20:25. > :20:26.told Porty he couldn't order the Blue Nun special reserve
:20:27. > :20:29.with his late-night steak and the whole thing resulted
:20:30. > :20:31.in an unfortunate fracas. But mercifully, we've been given
:20:32. > :20:33.a lucrative online contract so this programme will be bigger
:20:34. > :20:35.and blander than ever. A dramatic development that got
:20:36. > :20:38.political petrolhead Tim Shipman Here's his political
:20:39. > :20:50.round up of the week. # I can see clearly now
:20:51. > :20:53.th rain has gone #. Welcome to this grand tour
:20:54. > :20:55.of the week in Westminster. There'll be plenty of high octane
:20:56. > :20:58.May and Hammond but sadly the BBC can't afford Jeremy Clarkson any
:20:59. > :21:01.more so they found another overweight white middle aged man
:21:02. > :21:04.to do the job instead. It's not just the BBC that's
:21:05. > :21:20.short of money either, the country is struggling too
:21:21. > :21:24.according to spreadsheet Phil whose figures were rather depressing
:21:25. > :21:28.in the Autumn Statement. Today's OBR forecast
:21:29. > :21:36.is for growth to be 2.1% in 2016, In 2017, the OBR forecast
:21:37. > :21:41.growth to slow to 1.4%. Turns out the Chancellor may be
:21:42. > :21:49.more of an adrenaline He was quickly able to swerve around
:21:50. > :21:54.George Osborne's commitment In view of the uncertainty facing
:21:55. > :21:58.the economy and in the face of slower growth forecasts,
:21:59. > :22:01.we no longer seek to deliver Even that was too much austerity
:22:02. > :22:07.for big spending John McDonnell. We've had a month of briefing
:22:08. > :22:14.from the party opposite on those people who're called just
:22:15. > :22:17.about managing, the JAMs. It's the results of Tories imposing
:22:18. > :22:21.austerity on an economy that At least Britain can
:22:22. > :22:28.get by with a little The President Elect
:22:29. > :22:54.of the United States spent more time on the phone with Piers Morgan
:22:55. > :22:57.than with Theresa May. The next stop in the political week
:22:58. > :23:09.saw Theresa May cranking up Brexit speculation by another gear
:23:10. > :23:12.at the CBI. She gave a speech putting
:23:13. > :23:16.into reverse her claims that she wouldn't tell us anything
:23:17. > :23:20.about Brexit and gently suggested that there might be
:23:21. > :23:22.an interim deal first. They want to know with some
:23:23. > :23:27.certainty how things That will be part of the work we do
:23:28. > :23:33.in terms of the negotiation that we are undertaking
:23:34. > :23:40.with the European Union. Despite all this talk
:23:41. > :23:45.about Brexit meaning Brexit, we are still stuck on the starting
:23:46. > :23:49.grid waiting for the green light With the Speedo stuck on zero,
:23:50. > :23:59.what better time for Brexit secretary David Davis to head
:24:00. > :24:04.to Brussels to thaw out the frozen windscreen of our relations
:24:05. > :24:07.with our European Parliament? He races British classic cars
:24:08. > :24:22.and we got on very well. It was a very useful,
:24:23. > :24:24.constructive conversation, Moderate Labour MPs are desperate
:24:25. > :24:56.to get more mileage out of their time in Parliament
:24:57. > :25:00.that their constituency associations are filling up with Corbynistas
:25:01. > :25:05.who want to deselect them. Labour Leadership doesn't involve
:25:06. > :25:09.itself in local selections. I think Hilary Benn's got
:25:10. > :25:17.a fantastic role to play. He's a friend of mine and I hope
:25:18. > :25:21.he continues to play a role That's as far as you're
:25:22. > :25:24.going to go on it? We can't interfere in local
:25:25. > :25:26.democracy, we are Not much comradely solidarity
:25:27. > :25:30.from John McDonnell, The one direction of travel
:25:31. > :25:44.we did get this week was from Prime Minister's Questions
:25:45. > :25:46.where Jeremy Corbyn criticised the Government for telling
:25:47. > :25:49.patients that they need to show their passports
:25:50. > :25:53.before getting treatment. The last census showed us that
:25:54. > :25:57.9.5 million people in this country Rather than distracting people
:25:58. > :26:02.with divisive and impractical policies, could the Prime Minister
:26:03. > :26:06.provide the NHS and social care with the money that it needs to care
:26:07. > :26:12.for the people who need the support? But Mrs May was not knocked
:26:13. > :26:17.from her saddle. We want to make sure that those
:26:18. > :26:24.who are entitled to use the services are indeed able to see those free
:26:25. > :26:27.at the point of delivery but that we deal with health tourism
:26:28. > :26:30.and those who should be paying Another thrilling exchange
:26:31. > :26:36.there between the Prime Minister The perfect steed for the last
:26:37. > :26:49.leg of our grand tour. One person who's definitely
:26:50. > :26:55.on the starting grid is Nigel Farage whose love affair
:26:56. > :26:58.with the Donald hit new heights when the President Elect said
:26:59. > :27:00.he should be the new I was surprised by it,
:27:01. > :27:11.it was a bolt out of the blue, It shows he's got some
:27:12. > :27:16.confidence in me. # I think I can make it now
:27:17. > :27:20.the pain has gone #. So if he's not going to Washington,
:27:21. > :27:23.what do we do with naughty Nigel? He loves his country casual clothes,
:27:24. > :27:25.he's occasionally rude to foreigners, perhaps a job on Top
:27:26. > :27:30.Gear or The Grand Tour beckons? We're joined in the studio
:27:31. > :27:43.by a young go getter who is the dark horse in the race to become
:27:44. > :27:49.Britain's next ambassador to the US. Extraordinary, plenipotentiary
:27:50. > :27:54.and the man who is single handedly responsible for the skyrocketing
:27:55. > :27:58.Irn Bru sales in Parliament, SNP superstar and Nicola Sturgeon's
:27:59. > :28:12.biggest threat, John Nicolson. Welcome back to the programme.
:28:13. > :28:14.Hello, Andrew. An extra ?800 million for Scotland in this Autumn
:28:15. > :28:18.Statement. How are you going to spend it all? I don't know the
:28:19. > :28:24.answer to that question, I'm afraid. I don't have my hands on the purse
:28:25. > :28:29.strings of the Scottish government so that, of course, will be for our
:28:30. > :28:34.Finance Secretary to unveil. You will need it now that this ?10
:28:35. > :28:38.billion trade deal with China has unravelled, the Chinese calling it a
:28:39. > :28:43.Scottish shambles? Some Chinese people are calling it a Scottish
:28:44. > :28:48.shambles. The ones who're involved. Some are calling it a Chinese
:28:49. > :28:53.shambles. Who needed it more? ! Well... I think you have answered
:28:54. > :28:57.the question. Well, of course, it didn't end quite as we would have
:28:58. > :29:00.liked. Nicola Sturgeon talks about the
:29:01. > :29:03.uncertainty caused by Brexit and so on but I suggest the biggest
:29:04. > :29:09.uncertainty is not Brexit in Scotland, it's the prospect of a
:29:10. > :29:13.second referendum? Which of course the Conservative Leader talks about
:29:14. > :29:18.every day incessantly. The people who talk about the second referendum
:29:19. > :29:21.all the time are the Scottish Tories because they've got a battle plan
:29:22. > :29:26.which is to peel away the unionist right from the Labour Party and to
:29:27. > :29:31.get them to vote Tory. They are quite successful. I can't remember
:29:32. > :29:35.the last time I talked about a second referendum. I'm asked about
:29:36. > :29:38.it by journalists and hear Ruth Davidson talking about it all the
:29:39. > :29:44.time. Nicola Sturgeon talks about it? A bit. A bit. At her Party
:29:45. > :29:55.Conference. There is no secret the SNP's committed... That's what she
:29:56. > :29:59.said. Draft legislation. It will come as no surprise that we want to
:30:00. > :30:03.see Scottish independence and the manifesto, as you know, said that...
:30:04. > :30:06.But you lost. Said if there was a material change in circumstances
:30:07. > :30:11.which there clearly has been, they reserve the right to hold another
:30:12. > :30:19.one. But if you are a business in Scotland, only 17% of your exports
:30:20. > :30:25.go to Europe. 65% come south of the border. So the prospect of a second
:30:26. > :30:29.referendum is much more unsetenling than Brexit?
:30:30. > :30:36.foolhardy unless we take Mrs May at her word and she is going to get
:30:37. > :30:39.this cracking deal with the European Union, and Scotland as a member of
:30:40. > :30:43.the European Union would have the best of both worlds, as we were
:30:44. > :30:48.promised, independence, plus trade with the European Union as a
:30:49. > :30:55.European member with the UK, or the rest of the UK.
:30:56. > :31:00.So hardly a material change in circumstances after all? It depends
:31:01. > :31:06.how it all pans out. Is the triple lock on pensions, given the
:31:07. > :31:12.Chancellor's references to it, are its days numbered? Yes, I imagine
:31:13. > :31:17.they are. One of the things we have seen is the redistribution of wealth
:31:18. > :31:21.towards older people, and the further impoverishment of the young
:31:22. > :31:25.people. There has been an absolute guarantee for older people, and that
:31:26. > :31:29.guarantee will not be appropriate in our new economic circumstances, or
:31:30. > :31:38.even in our old economic circumstances. The IFS chart today,
:31:39. > :31:41.where the average wages in real terms do not rise at all until the
:31:42. > :31:46.beginning of the next decade, if they're in, if you break it down by
:31:47. > :31:50.age, if you are over 60 they have risen pretty strongly. If you are
:31:51. > :31:54.between 18 and 30, they have not just stayed flat, they have actually
:31:55. > :32:01.gone down. But who will have the guts to do this? I think the
:32:02. > :32:05.Chancellor is right to look at this. The very first OBR report said
:32:06. > :32:09.unless we look at the impact of all of us living for longer, not just
:32:10. > :32:13.pensions but health and social, too, it will mean public finances are not
:32:14. > :32:18.sustainable over the long term. I think he is right to look at it. We
:32:19. > :32:22.know that those who have benefited most over recent years have
:32:23. > :32:26.predominantly been those over 60 who owned properties in London and the
:32:27. > :32:30.south-east. It is not fair to see the working age population carry
:32:31. > :32:37.this burden, but it is politically toxic, very difficult indeed. And
:32:38. > :32:40.young people say, you baby boomers voted for Brexit and have landed us
:32:41. > :32:43.with this economic chaos, and now you want us to deal with the
:32:44. > :32:49.economic chaos and guarantee your pensions. I am not saying that is a
:32:50. > :32:56.fair charge but it is what some people say. I do not think that is
:32:57. > :32:58.how families are. If I think of my parents, classic baby boomers,
:32:59. > :33:03.benefited from free education, they own their own home, they are as
:33:04. > :33:06.worried about my brother and his kids, whether he can afford the
:33:07. > :33:10.house to send the kids to university. My brother is worried
:33:11. > :33:15.about them if they get old and frail and need help and support. We do not
:33:16. > :33:19.need to see this as a war of the generations because families want to
:33:20. > :33:23.help one another, but it is the politics that is difficult. Going
:33:24. > :33:27.back to the borrowing, scarcely anyone mentions that all the extra
:33:28. > :33:32.borrowing is simply a burden being passed down to future generations.
:33:33. > :33:36.That means when interest rates have risen again, servicing the debt will
:33:37. > :33:43.be expensive and there will be less to spend on health, welfare and so
:33:44. > :33:48.on. Nigel Farage. Christmas comes every day for him. Absolutely
:33:49. > :33:52.astonishing. You have to acknowledge that the man plays his hand
:33:53. > :33:57.brilliantly. He has a major part in British history. He spooked the last
:33:58. > :34:03.Prime Minister into holding a referendum. He called it right on
:34:04. > :34:07.Trump when the British government called it wrong, and he is reaping
:34:08. > :34:11.the rewards. It is so delicious, that he will end this year possibly
:34:12. > :34:17.as an economic migrant, moving to the United States. You could not
:34:18. > :34:20.make it up. He has described it as nonsense. I think he knows he is not
:34:21. > :34:28.going to the British ambassador in Washington. Maybe Kazakhstan. Was it
:34:29. > :34:33.definitely a snub by Trump? He is so unsophisticated that he might just
:34:34. > :34:40.think that every time there is an election, the administration
:34:41. > :34:44.changes. Even so, he understands different parties, having just
:34:45. > :34:48.fought an election. He would understand that this fellow is not
:34:49. > :34:52.in the Conservative Party. So you have just lost a 10 billion
:34:53. > :34:56.free-trade deal with China, you have now called unsophisticated this
:34:57. > :35:00.massive investor in two Scottish golf courses. Let's go for a
:35:01. > :35:06.hat-trick. Who else do you want to insult to night? I think John has
:35:07. > :35:10.forgotten that he has won the election. He is going to be the
:35:11. > :35:16.President of the United States. Time to bow down. We can all Google what
:35:17. > :35:23.was said before. We can't backtracking on our views, can we?
:35:24. > :35:27.Why'd you think Sammy Brexit supporters are over the moon at Tony
:35:28. > :35:35.Blair take that -- making a comeback? He is a polarising person,
:35:36. > :35:38.definitely marmite. He is always worthless and into and I think he is
:35:39. > :35:43.asking the right questions about Brexit. He is saying the way we deal
:35:44. > :35:48.with the problem is globalisation is creating is not to be shy and
:35:49. > :35:54.pretend we can be isolationist. Is he a help or a hindrance? For the
:35:55. > :35:58.people who like him, for those who want someone standing up for the
:35:59. > :36:03.48%, he will help. For those who hate him, they will carry on. The
:36:04. > :36:09.initial reaction is to say, bring it on, we would love him to come along
:36:10. > :36:14.because he is so unpopular. But actually one has to remember he is a
:36:15. > :36:18.formidable politician. For ten years he was Prime Minister and no one
:36:19. > :36:24.could lay a glove on him, so I don't want to be quite as glib as to say
:36:25. > :36:26.that. He is fantastically articulate, quite toxic, great for
:36:27. > :36:32.the Scottish National Party because he killed the Labour Party in
:36:33. > :36:35.Scotland. There we are, we got a hat-trick. Thank you.
:36:36. > :36:37.It's been a week of rather bad manners folks.
:36:38. > :36:40.Some actors were rude to Mike Pence, Tony Blair threatened a comeback
:36:41. > :36:51.and Labour MPs completely ignored their own shadow chancellor.
:36:52. > :36:55.To top it all off Potry was thrown out of LouLou's for trying to pardon
:36:56. > :37:01.a turkey in the middle of the restaurant.
:37:02. > :37:03.But, thankfully, Nigel Farage is the gift that keeps on giving.
:37:04. > :37:06.He showed us that it's not actually rude for a US President
:37:07. > :37:10.to tell us what to do, especially if he gets a job from it.
:37:11. > :37:13.Which is why Stewart Lee is putting our Ps and Qs
:37:14. > :37:23.I want to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.
:37:24. > :37:27.It's that time of year when the President politely grants
:37:28. > :37:31.a turkey reprieve from the heat of the White House oven.
:37:32. > :37:37.Tot, I hereby pardon you from the Thanksgiving table
:37:38. > :37:44.and we hope you have a wonderful time in Gobbler's Rest.
:37:45. > :37:48.Mike Pence wasn't spared a roasting on Friday night.
:37:49. > :37:53.Your new administration will not protect us...
:37:54. > :37:56.Was it bad manners for cast members of the musical Hamilton to single
:37:57. > :37:59.out the incoming Vice-President after their performance?
:38:00. > :38:04.I'll leave to others whether it was the appropriate venue to say it.
:38:05. > :38:06.Were the American music awards a really an appropriate place
:38:07. > :38:11.for model Gigi Hadid to lampoon the future First Lady this week?
:38:12. > :38:27.In more salacious news on the eve of his Autumn Statement,
:38:28. > :38:29.we learned about spreadsheet Phil's teenage kicks.
:38:30. > :38:32.We ended up having a bit of a cheeky snog.
:38:33. > :38:41.That's the little bit I like to call when polite conversation goes wrong.
:38:42. > :38:45.Stewart Lee's made a successful career out of poking fun at people.
:38:46. > :38:48.So are manners really that important?
:38:49. > :39:04.Welcome back to the programme. In a recent article you were very polite
:39:05. > :39:08.about this programme. I was. I will come back to Molly the dog in a
:39:09. > :39:12.minute, whose friend is a pit bull terrier waiting outside the door.
:39:13. > :39:18.You said you would rather not be polite to particular politicians.
:39:19. > :39:23.Why? I had just come off being backstage in the greenroom at Robert
:39:24. > :39:30.Peston's show, and inferior copy of this. I like him already. I was
:39:31. > :39:35.sitting with Suzanne Evans from Ukip. I am a stereotype member of
:39:36. > :39:39.the metropolitan Liberal elite, so I felt I ought to disagree with her.
:39:40. > :39:43.On the other hand, I thought, we are backstage in this place where we
:39:44. > :39:47.have been taken to do a job. I could not work out the ethics. With that
:39:48. > :39:51.little bit of film you played there, with the cast of that musical
:39:52. > :39:54.addressing Mike Pence directly, there seem to be all sorts of
:39:55. > :39:57.problems where people feel very polarised about what is happening in
:39:58. > :40:02.the world and we don't know the rules of engagement. You said you
:40:03. > :40:06.wanted to stop doing shows like this so that you stop meeting people you
:40:07. > :40:12.think you should despise but felt friendly towards. Actually, I do not
:40:13. > :40:16.like Dan Hann and because he or its likes me off in the paper, but I sat
:40:17. > :40:19.there listening to what he was talking about and he said a
:40:20. > :40:23.brilliant sentence, that Matthew Parris lives in the Spanish cave. If
:40:24. > :40:27.I had got into an argument with him I would not have heard that
:40:28. > :40:34.sentence. That is the value of politeness. He has a Spain at -- a
:40:35. > :40:41.cave in Spain that he lives in, Matthew Parris. Next to Michael. And
:40:42. > :40:45.then the SNP bloke said they are all living in caves now. The caves have
:40:46. > :40:51.been gentrified. I now know that as a result of politeness. The danger
:40:52. > :40:55.of what you are saying is that you end up only speaking to people you
:40:56. > :40:59.are broadly in agreement with, or listening to people you are broadly
:41:00. > :41:02.in agreement with. You end up, very much like America, if you are right
:41:03. > :41:10.when you watch Fox News and if you are left you watch... Radio stations
:41:11. > :41:14.cater, it is an echo chamber. This is a problem and something I will
:41:15. > :41:18.write about in the new show. Our next destination on the internet is
:41:19. > :41:23.generated by our grip is. If you like this, see this. People go down
:41:24. > :41:26.wormholes where they only follow their own views. The days when you
:41:27. > :41:30.would read a newspaper and accidentally come across a story
:41:31. > :41:34.that was about someone you did not already know about are on the way
:41:35. > :41:39.out. The polarised results in the Brexit vote and in the Trump vote
:41:40. > :41:43.are partly about this. Before I came out tonight to do my show at 5:30pm
:41:44. > :41:48.I always look at the internet to see if anyone I am doing a joke about as
:41:49. > :41:51.lost their job suddenly. The trending story on Twitter was that
:41:52. > :41:57.Clint Eastwood has refused an honour from Obama and said, he is not my
:41:58. > :42:02.President. Three minutes later, I searched it and it was a fake news
:42:03. > :42:08.story. The problem now is that this is out there everywhere and people
:42:09. > :42:15.can follow fake news stories. There is no filter. Let me come back to
:42:16. > :42:19.politeness. You always struck me as polite. Do you think you have been
:42:20. > :42:26.too polite over the years? Possibly a little too polite. But I do value
:42:27. > :42:30.politeness. And I have always been amazed how much politeness I have
:42:31. > :42:34.received. When I was a politician I was quite unpopular and yet people I
:42:35. > :42:38.met in the street, on the whole, either decided not to speak to me,
:42:39. > :42:42.or they would speak to me very politely. I have only had two or
:42:43. > :42:45.three instances of people being really foul in the street, which
:42:46. > :42:51.considering I was quite high profile is quite surprising. You are quite
:42:52. > :42:58.polite, too, Liz, but people were not always polite to you in that
:42:59. > :43:01.campaign. No, they were not. But I think you can be angry about an
:43:02. > :43:05.issue but polite to the person. You remember during the referendum
:43:06. > :43:12.campaign I was in one of your debates with Dan Hun An and Nigel
:43:13. > :43:15.Farage on the other side. And you have to see them backstage and you
:43:16. > :43:19.want to be polite. You're not going to get into a big chat, but you have
:43:20. > :43:23.to talk to people who don't agree with you. I have to knock on any
:43:24. > :43:28.door, find out what people think, and some of them are deeply angry
:43:29. > :43:34.and completely against my party, but you can hopefully do it in a polite
:43:35. > :43:40.way. What are you up to now? I have a new show called Content Provider
:43:41. > :43:45.and then I will be on the road for a year and a half, as long as the news
:43:46. > :43:47.still has some relationship with the story I originally wrote. Everybody
:43:48. > :43:54.is being polite about it. Come back. But not for us because we're heading
:43:55. > :43:59.to LouLou's where Bear Grylls has set up a Ukip leadership survival
:44:00. > :44:01.course complete with hand-to-hand combat and a step by step guide
:44:02. > :44:05.on how to apply for a US Green Card. Nigel Farage sadly can't attend
:44:06. > :44:09.as he's too busy helping Donald Trump pick Theresa
:44:10. > :44:11.May's next cabinet. Nighty night, don't let
:44:12. > :44:13.the ambassador's chocolates bite. The ambassador's receptions
:44:14. > :44:15.are noted in Society for their host's exquisite taste,
:44:16. > :44:21.that captivates his guests. Well, I have to say, you're not
:44:22. > :44:27.laughing now, are you. I know that virtually none
:44:28. > :44:31.of you have ever done a proper job You, as a political
:44:32. > :44:39.project, are in denial. Do enjoy the tenth birthday
:44:40. > :44:42.of the euro, because I very much doubt you'll be
:44:43. > :44:46.celebrating the 20th. Obama and all those ghastly people
:44:47. > :44:49.are out and the Trump people Monsieur, with these Rocher
:44:50. > :45:00.you're really spoiling us. Give yourself a huge round
:45:01. > :45:04.of applause.