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0:00:03 > 0:00:09- In 2015, - there were 350 suicides in Wales.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16- 274 were men.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23- This is the story of two.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- For over 20 years, the - Aberglaslyn Mountain Rescue Team...
0:00:39 > 0:00:44- ..have served the mountains - and hills of South Gwynedd.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47- I've been a member - of this team since 2000.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52- I was a member of a neighbouring - team for four years before that.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57- Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft from Harlech - is one of the team's leaders.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Every Monday night, - he organises training sessions...
0:01:01 > 0:01:02- ..for the volunteer crew.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07- A lot of people ask us why we do it.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- I love being out on the mountain.
0:01:10 > 0:01:15- It's nice giving something back - to help people in trouble.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- Rescuing walkers and climbers - is only one part of the work.
0:01:22 > 0:01:27- The number of suicides they've seen - is increasing.
0:01:29 > 0:01:34- In Wales, men are three times more - likely to commit suicide than women.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38- Ready? Brace. Lift.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- There's definitely a problem.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44- It's not just us, as a team.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- I suspect that every team - in North Wales sees the same thing.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- It's happening more often now - than ever before.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- On February 29, 2016...
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- ..Dion and the team searched - for an 18-year-old man...
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- ..who had gone missing.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09- His name was Josh Llwyd-Hopcroft, - Dion's youngest son.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16- We were worried that he'd fallen - and injured himself, you never know.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- There was no sign of him - and weather conditions were poor.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24- At 5.00am, there was no sign of him.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Obviously, I couldn't sleep.
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- I went out myself about 6.00am - with the dogs.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- I searched for two hours.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39- There was no sign of him.
0:02:39 > 0:02:45- I was pulled into - a patch of forest by the dogs...
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- ..and we found Josh's body.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- That's when our lives changed - for the worst.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- Josh had hung himself.
0:03:02 > 0:03:07- Dion called a member of the mountain - rescue team to guard the body...
0:03:07 > 0:03:11- ..while he returned home - to break the news to his family...
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- ..Ceri, Sion and Shannon.
0:03:15 > 0:03:20- I returned to the scene with Sion.
0:03:22 > 0:03:27- We placed his body on a stretcher - and brought him back here...
0:03:28 > 0:03:30- ..for the final time.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- I was determined to do - something like that for him.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- Josh used to attend Ysgol Ardudwy.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- After his 18th birthday - a month earlier...
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- ..he'd considered joining the Army.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52- Josh was a boy - who liked getting his own way.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- He liked...
0:03:54 > 0:03:57- ..spending time with his friends.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- He seemed a happy boy.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- We've looked back so many times.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14- There was nothing evident to us, - as parents...
0:04:14 > 0:04:16- ..that something was wrong.
0:04:19 > 0:04:23- According to his mother, Sue, Josh - had a happy upbringing in Harlech.
0:04:24 > 0:04:25- He was a very popular boy.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32- Losing him so suddenly - was a devastating blow for her.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- Heart-breaking.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- It's...
0:04:39 > 0:04:47- You never want to hear that your son - has taken his own life.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59- There's not one day that goes by...
0:05:03 > 0:05:05- I do wish he was here.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12- When he went, he took a piece - of my heart with him.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- In Harlech train station, - there's a memorial board to Josh.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- # No more bad days
0:05:28 > 0:05:29- # It's clear from here #
0:05:29 > 0:05:33- On it, the title - of one of his favourite songs...
0:05:33 > 0:05:36- ..and messages from his family - and friends.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- There were 6,188 suicides - in Britain in 2015.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48- 4,622 were men.
0:05:49 > 0:05:54- 74% of the total.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04- Stiwt Theatr, - Rhosllannerchrugog, near Wrexham.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- The building - was constructed in 1926...
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- ..funded by local miners.
0:06:15 > 0:06:20- The Stiwt means a lot - to its general manager, Rhys Davies.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- My parents performed here.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Most of the family.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31- The Stiwt is important to the people - of Rhos and my family in particular.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- After starting to perform - on this stage...
0:06:37 > 0:06:41- ..one of Rhys' older brothers - built a professional career...
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- ..as a singer, musician and actor.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- He was a very interesting person.
0:06:46 > 0:06:51- He was a lot of fun, - he'd make faces.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- He made people laugh - most of the time.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00- He was great as a brother, - to be honest.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- He was happy to be - in a crowd of people...
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- ..and people were happy - to be with him too.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Dafydd Dafis - was a familiar face on S4C.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- He was renowned as a singer - and saxophonist.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21- He acted in numerous - popular TV dramas.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28- Wow.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- Well done, Daf.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43- Over the past few years, acting - and TV work had started to dry up.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- He'd battled depression - for many years.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- In April 2017, he went missing.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- He did go out sometimes - and no-one really knew where he was.
0:07:56 > 0:08:01- He'd be out all night and no-one - knew if he was with friends...
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- ..or sleeping out in the open air.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09- I think he was, he did spend - some nights in the open air.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13- He'd tried to take his own life - once before.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18- In the past year, - his brother had feared the worst.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- A knock on the door in the middle - of the night on Monday.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26- Two police officers - standing at the door.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- They said they'd found Dafydd.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33- That's how we heard about it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Dafydd Dafis had hung himself.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- He was 58 years old.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50- At the time, he lived in this house - in Beaumaris, Anglesey.
0:08:52 > 0:08:58- The days of starring in Porthpenwaig - and Rownd a Rownd had long gone.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- He'd stopped performing - and was making a living as a chef.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- For his close friend, - Rhys Parry Jones...
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- ..seeing the change in him - was heart-breaking.
0:09:12 > 0:09:19- Seeing Dafydd losing hope and losing - interest in the things he loved.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Both mediums, music and acting.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- It was horrible. - It was horrible to see.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31- The actor's body was discovered - by a security officer...
0:09:31 > 0:09:35- ..near one of Bangor University's - buildings in Menai Bridge.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42- Dafydd had definitely researched - how he'd end his life.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Maybe he'd researched where, - I'm not sure.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Somewhere he'd be left alone, - oh, God.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- He'd often walk in this area.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58- From Beaumaris, - he'd walk four or five miles a day.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- He didn't leave a note...
0:10:04 > 0:10:08- ..but he left his passport - so that he could be identified...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- ..and a newspaper article.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- He kept an article - from the Guardian.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18- A lady called Brampton who - committed suicide when she was 60.
0:10:18 > 0:10:24- She wrote about depression in - her memoirs "Shoot the Damn Dog."
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- "Killing oneself is, - anyway, a misnomer.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- "We don't kill ourselves.
0:10:30 > 0:10:36- "We are simply defeated by the - long, hard struggle to stay alive."
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- That's the truth about Dafydd, - without a doubt.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Are you still angry with Dafydd?
0:10:51 > 0:10:55- At the time, yes. - I'm not angry now at all.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- Not at all now.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- No.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Everyone's just...
0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Everyone was just glad - that they'd met him and knew him.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- And... everyone...
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- ..misses him.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- There we go.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41- .
0:11:43 > 0:11:43- Subtitles
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- It's 5.00pm on a Friday.
0:11:52 > 0:11:57- Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft is about to - set off from his home in Llanfair...
0:11:57 > 0:11:59- ..on a walking trip.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- Ceri wants a picture.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11- See you later.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- With his friend, Kieron, - he intends to walk all night...
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- ..to raise awareness for a cause - that's close to his heart.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31- We're walking from home, - along the coastal path...
0:12:31 > 0:12:36- ..heading northwards - for 24 hours without a break.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41- We're raising money - to fund a new project...
0:12:41 > 0:12:46- ..in my son's name - after we lost him last year.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49- Dion is a builder.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53- He will use the money he collects - to build Josh's Tree House...
0:12:53 > 0:12:58- ..which will provide a location - for grieving people...
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- ..to speak to - experienced counsellors.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- I don't think there's enough help - out there for people...
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- ..who suffer with mental illness - or who've lost someone.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- Losing someone is a major event.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16- I'd never realised the importance - of having the support...
0:13:16 > 0:13:21- ..of family and friends and - information about coping with loss.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- I want to give something back - to the people who helped us...
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- ..during the time we lost Josh.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37- Three hours later, - Dion reaches Penrhyndeudraeth.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41- Josh is never far from my mind.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Would he be proud of you?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- Yes, guaranteed.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51- He'd be at my side, - supporting me and laughing at me.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- At 7.00am, he's in Criccieth.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04- It's a difficult journey - and the strain is evident.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- It's been very difficult, - to be honest...
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- ..not just physically but - there's been a lot to think about.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- I'm thinking a lot about Josh.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18- When I've been tired, - I've been thinking about it more.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- What kind of things - go through your mind?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- It's just the loss, I miss him.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- Harlech, - and the journey is almost over.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Four minutes to go.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42- We've been walking for 24 hours.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45- We've walked 50 miles...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- ..since we started.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- I feel quite emotional now.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- Well done.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Well done.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- Plans for Josh's Tree House have - been presented to Gwynedd Council.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15- After the journey, this father - is more determined than ever...
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- ..to complete the project - in memory of his son.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23- I've had a lot of time to think - over the past 20 hours...
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- ..to work out where we go from here.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- The most important thing for us - is to construct this building...
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- ..and see where we go from there - and what help we can give others.
0:15:38 > 0:15:45- In Wales, 30-34 year old men are - more likely to take their own lives.
0:15:46 > 0:15:52- The Samaritans received - over 5.7 million calls last year.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58- A rise of 300,000 since 2015.
0:16:02 > 0:16:08- I've been a volunteer with - the Samaritans for over 20 years.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- I'm on my way to the centre.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16- This man answers calls - to the Samaritans in Bangor.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- He knows how difficult it is - to get men to talk.
0:16:21 > 0:16:26- I think women speak more freely - amongst themselves...
0:16:26 > 0:16:30- ..about their feelings - and experiences, than men do.
0:16:30 > 0:16:37- Men don't share so much and try - and maintain a macho attitude.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- They're not as willing - to discuss their feelings.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51- He's seen depression tipping men - over the edge in recent years.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- It can affect everyone.
0:16:58 > 0:17:03- Young men in their teens, middle - aged men, it's indiscriminate.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- Share your burdens...
0:17:06 > 0:17:10- ..speak to someone - if you're in any kind of trouble.
0:17:10 > 0:17:16- Whatever your feelings, - if you have suicidal thoughts...
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- ..speak to someone.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23- On June 9, 2017, there were inquests - into four suicides in Caernarfon.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- The coroner described male suicides - as an epidemic.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32- One of the cases - was the death of Dafydd Dafis.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- It was completely shocking.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- I couldn't believe - it was happening so often.
0:17:40 > 0:17:45- The frequency of cases for men - was once a week.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- It was shocking.
0:17:49 > 0:17:55- I hope that one of the things - that comes out of this...
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- ..is making sure - that it doesn't happen...
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- ..to other people - and other families.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- I'm sure it will...
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- ..but if it can help...
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- ..or it can save the life - of one person, it's something.
0:18:10 > 0:18:16- In 2008, Dafydd Dafis performed - on stage for the final time.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- By then, he was seeking - professional help for depression.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- I know that he received help - for a while.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28- That was some time ago.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31- For some reason, - it didn't last long.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- I'm not sure - who gave up on the idea...
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- ..Dafydd or the people helping him.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- It didn't last long.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43- Maybe he didn't receive the answers - he wanted or expected.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- Flesh immortalised in art.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- He received praise - for his performance...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- ..in Theatr Genedlaethol's - production of Iesu!...
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- ..but he found it difficult - to socialise.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59- He rarely contacted close friends - like Rhys Parry Jones.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05- He told me one afternoon after a - long period of not being in touch...
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- ..and this happened regularly...
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- ..he said, "I can see your name - on my phone and I want to answer...
0:19:11 > 0:19:13- "..but I can't - because of the illness."
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- The actor lives in Cardiff - and feels angry...
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- ..that he couldn't have done more - to help his friend.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- Dafydd used to say - during his final months...
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- .."Come up, I could do with a hug."
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- He was just so lonely.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37- That he was that lonely - during his final moments...
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- ..that's heart-breaking.
0:19:43 > 0:19:48- Dafydd Dafis was 58 years old - when he took his own life.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- He's still here in some ways.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- We know he's gone - and we miss him so much...
0:19:58 > 0:20:03- ..but his work and his legacy - have been left behind.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- The Ysgethin Inn.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- Dion Llwyd-Hopcroft - and his family have organised...
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- ..a day of the dead event - as part of the campaign...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19- ..to raise money - for Josh's Tree House.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25- It's an opportunity for friends - and family to celebrate Josh's life.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- Josh's best friends - are here tonight.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31- We've watched them grow up.
0:20:31 > 0:20:36- It makes us wonder - what Josh would look like now.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- It's almost two years - since we lost him.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- The only memory we have - is the time we lost him.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- People change as they get older.
0:20:46 > 0:20:53- That's difficult, that's very - difficult to come to terms with.
0:20:54 > 0:20:59- Dylan Trahearn is one of - Josh's friend since primary school.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- We used to do everything together.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- He'd work, I'd come home from work - and then I'd go up to see him.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- I'd stay in his house, - he'd stay in mine.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- We'd wear each other's clothes.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- Good times.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21- No-one knows for sure - why Josh took his own life.
0:21:22 > 0:21:27- His friends are still wondering - why he did something so extreme.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- He told me - he'd come out as bisexual.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37- It was the best thing he'd done.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- He was happy.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- When I had the phone call - the following day...
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- ..I was devastated, heartbroken.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- His family and friends - suspect online bullying...
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- ..had influenced his mind - during his final days.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56- His father is hard on himself...
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- ..for not spotting - that something serious was wrong.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- I question myself all the time. Why?
0:22:05 > 0:22:10- Sometimes, it eats me up - that I didn't spot the symptoms...
0:22:10 > 0:22:14- ..that there was something wrong.
0:22:16 > 0:22:23- As a parent, are you as a parent - there to look after your children?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- I feel guilty...
0:22:26 > 0:22:32- ..and I'm hard on myself for not - spotting the symptoms with Josh.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- That's what's difficult for me - to come to terms with.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- # No more bad days #
0:22:44 > 0:22:48- It's 18 months since Josh - Llwyd-Hopcroft took his own life.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- The family battles to cope - with the void his death left behind.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57- His father urges those - with mental health problems...
0:22:57 > 0:23:00- ..to ask for help - before it gets too late.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- People must share their problems.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07- At the end of the day, - if you don't share your problems...
0:23:08 > 0:23:12- ..I think the only thing it will do - is eat away at you.
0:23:15 > 0:23:21- I'm 100% sure that if Josh had come - to us to say something was wrong...
0:23:21 > 0:23:26- ..I know we could have - sorted it out somehow or other.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30- # I will always carry you
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- # 'Cause you are sweet and pure
0:23:32 > 0:23:34- # Yeah, you are beautiful
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- # In everything you do #
0:23:55 > 0:23:58- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.