0:00:11 > 0:00:16'This is the story of Nick Clegg - a man entrusted by a nation
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'to act upon the policies he proposed.
0:00:20 > 0:00:26'But he soon became The Un-Credible Shrinking Man.'
0:00:28 > 0:00:31So, first on the agenda, tuition fees.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Mr Cameron, I'm afraid
0:00:33 > 0:00:36that my manifesto says that we would scrap them.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38And so we will.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40ALL: Hear, hear!
0:00:40 > 0:00:44We shall abolish the ?3,000 tuition fees and make them ?9,000.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45ALL: Hear, hear!
0:00:45 > 0:00:48I-I'm just worried about the figures, sir.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50You mean the huge amount of money the students will owe?
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Oh, no. My ratings in the opinion polls.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54One has one's image to consider.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Think like a Tory, Clagg.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Er, it's Clegg. Being ?30,000 in debt is an excellent incentive
0:00:59 > 0:01:01for a life of jolly hard work.
0:01:01 > 0:01:0425 years is not a long time to pay off a loan.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06So, what you're saying is
0:01:06 > 0:01:09that we'd be doing the graduates a favour.
0:01:09 > 0:01:11You'd be a hero.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13I would quite like that.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17'It was then, as he desperately tried to impress his new friends,
0:01:17 > 0:01:19'Mr Clegg noticed something most peculiar.'
0:01:19 > 0:01:23'He, and everything he stood for, began to shrink.'
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Now, tax cuts... Oh, good, that will be popular...
0:01:26 > 0:01:27..for millionaires.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28In these times of austerity,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31I think we should spare a thought for the wealthy.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34I have a friend who's down to his last two yachts.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Haven't our brave bankers suffered enough?
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Er, sorry, I promised fair taxes, I don't want to look like a fibber.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45No-one expects you to keep your promises, Claggy.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You're in the Tory party now.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Yeah, Tory party, Margaret Thatcher.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52I'll only get away with that if there's something for everyone else.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55There will be. We shall be raising VAT on all people's shopping bills.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58?450 per year, per family. Jolly good. I'd get killed!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00I campaigned against that!
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Next, bedroom tax. Hm, isn't it going to look bad
0:02:04 > 0:02:07that two-thirds of those affected are disabled?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Who cares? They can't fight back. Absolutely.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Now, shall we lay off some NHS nurses? Ooh, yes. NHS?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16The National Health Service?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Oh, yes.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Um, Mr Cameron? Who said that?
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Um, me!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28My gosh. The man has shrunk.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30He's actually shrunk.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33What shall we do with him? Can we hunt him?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35No, no, leave this to me.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Come on, Claggy. Up you pop.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39It's CLEGG! Ha-ha-ha!
0:02:39 > 0:02:41OK, little fellow.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Are you going to valiantly stand up for hard-working families
0:02:45 > 0:02:46or are we going to be friends, hm?
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Um... How about a crumb of custard cream?
0:02:50 > 0:02:52You can't win me over with biscuits.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Choccy biccie? Oh, OK.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58So, if I allow energy companies to raise their prices,
0:02:58 > 0:03:01you'll defend me? Mm. Even if it's an extra ?300 per year, per family?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Yeah. And you will keep your mouth shut about their huge profits, yes?
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Mm-hm. Jolly good, well done, you. Right, gentlemen.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11I think it's time to adjourn. Excellent! What's next?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14An afternoon nap, close a few A departments and then dinner.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Can I come? I can do tricks.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19No, no. Don't worry, Claggy.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I've got a rather important job for you. Really? Great!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25I would like you to look after Socks. Socks, come on.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27MIAOW!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Argh! David!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Tatty poo!
0:04:01 > 0:04:01Do you find it offensive?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03It doesn't read that everybody
0:04:03 > 0:04:04should find it offensive.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06It's shocking it'd happen in a public place.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08I don't find it funny, but I don't find it offensive.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10It really is vile. Shock value sells.
0:04:10 > 0:04:14Men are even less tolerant of women than they were before.