2:02:06 > 2:02:10APPLAUSE
2:02:11 > 2:02:13CHEERING
2:02:17 > 2:02:21Hello! I'm Alan Davies. Welcome to Apres-Ski.
2:02:28 > 2:02:32Yeah! Yes, I suppose I'd better own up.
2:02:32 > 2:02:35I'm not a great winter sports participant.
2:02:35 > 2:02:37Always more the king of the snowplough.
2:02:37 > 2:02:40A 1981 school trip was characterised
2:02:40 > 2:02:43by entry-level gluhwein consumption,
2:02:43 > 2:02:46low-speed impacts and unremarkable falls.
2:02:46 > 2:02:50But it's here at last. Winter Olympics fever has taken hold.
2:02:50 > 2:02:52Up and down the country, kids are going down the park
2:02:52 > 2:02:54with their curling gear to have a curlabout.
2:02:54 > 2:02:58I'm sure, like me, you've chatted about little else down your local.
2:02:58 > 2:02:59Only last week,
2:02:59 > 2:03:03I was arguing in the pub about whether it would be Bernard Gruber
2:03:03 > 2:03:06in the Nordic Combined, or will Eric Frenzel finally win
2:03:06 > 2:03:08after all these years?
2:03:08 > 2:03:10LAUGHTER
2:03:12 > 2:03:15London, of course, had the Summer Olympics in 2012,
2:03:15 > 2:03:17but let's face it, what we were all thinking was
2:03:17 > 2:03:19"Once we get this out of the way,
2:03:19 > 2:03:21"it's just two years until the Winter Olympics."
2:03:22 > 2:03:25So, what about the events themselves?
2:03:25 > 2:03:27Now, you may say you have never tried these sports.
2:03:27 > 2:03:31But did you ever slide your school bag on the ice as far as it would go?
2:03:31 > 2:03:33What you were doing there is curling.
2:03:33 > 2:03:37Have you ever run along as fast as you can and then skidded on the ice?
2:03:37 > 2:03:40What you're doing there is skating.
2:03:40 > 2:03:43Have you ever fallen down and hurt yourself?
2:03:44 > 2:03:46What you're doing there is skiing.
2:03:48 > 2:03:52Now, the slalom, of course, is skiing around poles.
2:03:52 > 2:03:54Bobsleigh is hurtling down an ice run,
2:03:54 > 2:03:58and speed skating is a three-minute conversation with a total stranger.
2:04:01 > 2:04:04Curling - now, curling, you may say, is not exactly athletic.
2:04:04 > 2:04:08And it's true that Canadian curler Pizza Paul got his name
2:04:08 > 2:04:12because he ordered a pizza, had it and ate it during a match.
2:04:14 > 2:04:17His team-mates, Thai Ian and Chinese Steve...
2:04:17 > 2:04:18LAUGHTER
2:04:20 > 2:04:22..are less well-known.
2:04:22 > 2:04:26And their good friend, Cokie Dave, is serving a two-year ban.
2:04:28 > 2:04:31Though he will be hanging around outside the village
2:04:31 > 2:04:32if you want anything.
2:04:34 > 2:04:37Anyway, the reason the games are being held in Sochi
2:04:37 > 2:04:40is that it's being promoted as a tourist resort.
2:04:40 > 2:04:42This has led to some restrictions in the bobsleigh.
2:04:42 > 2:04:44You have to be yea high
2:04:44 > 2:04:47and make sure you have your hands in the air on turn three for the photo!
2:04:50 > 2:04:54Of course, qualifying heats in some events began yesterday,
2:04:54 > 2:04:57and Team GB figure skater Matthew Parr
2:04:57 > 2:04:59missed out on qualifying by one place.
2:04:59 > 2:05:03He told reporters, "It couldn't have gone better for me."
2:05:05 > 2:05:07Don't want to quibble, Matthew, but it could.
2:05:09 > 2:05:12So, it's the Winter Olympics. What could possibly go wrong?
2:05:16 > 2:05:17Let's meet my Apres-Ski guests,
2:05:17 > 2:05:20the Olympian who put British skiing on the map, Konrad Bartelski,
2:05:20 > 2:05:22Denmark's hottest comedian, Sofie Hagen,
2:05:22 > 2:05:25Dublin's funniest snowboarder, Andrew Maxwell,
2:05:25 > 2:05:27and this country's number-one figure skating judge,
2:05:27 > 2:05:29Sally-Anne Stapleford!
2:05:33 > 2:05:34Let the games begin!
2:05:45 > 2:05:49Fantastic to have you here, Konrad. The very name Bartelski...
2:05:49 > 2:05:52- It's a clue, isn't it? - The clue is in the name.- Yeah.
2:05:52 > 2:05:53You're a three-time Olympian.
2:05:53 > 2:05:57In 1981, you missed out on winning a World Cup downhill
2:05:57 > 2:05:59- by a tenth of a second? - 11 hundredths.
2:05:59 > 2:06:0011 hundredths of a second.
2:06:00 > 2:06:03Do you think the fact that we're still talking about that
2:06:03 > 2:06:06as the greatest achievement by a British skier
2:06:06 > 2:06:08is somewhat damning, 33 years later?
2:06:10 > 2:06:14Well, Alain Baxter won a bronze medal in 2002 in Salt Lake.
2:06:19 > 2:06:22Sadly, Konrad, Alain Baxter wasn't available this evening.
2:06:22 > 2:06:25Marvellous to have you here.
2:06:25 > 2:06:27Sally-Anne Stapleford, ladies and gentlemen.
2:06:27 > 2:06:30APPLAUSE
2:06:32 > 2:06:34Sally-Anne Stapleford, five years in a row
2:06:34 > 2:06:37you were the British figure skating champion back in the '60s.
2:06:37 > 2:06:41That was you at the age of what, eight years old?
2:06:41 > 2:06:45Oh, gosh, that brings back wonderful memories.
2:06:45 > 2:06:49Was there always a man with a beret looming behind you?
2:06:49 > 2:06:51I don't know!
2:06:51 > 2:06:56- And twice an Olympian. - Yes, '64 and '68.
2:06:56 > 2:06:59But then I was in the Olympics officiating after that,
2:06:59 > 2:07:01so eight Olympics in total.
2:07:01 > 2:07:02- Eight Olympics in total.- Yeah.
2:07:04 > 2:07:06Wow.
2:07:08 > 2:07:11Andrew, now. Andrew Maxwell, fine comedian, of course,
2:07:11 > 2:07:12but there is a reason you are here,
2:07:12 > 2:07:15because if there was a Winter Olympics for comedians,
2:07:15 > 2:07:17you would clean up, would you not?
2:07:17 > 2:07:20I would definitely be in the medal podium.
2:07:20 > 2:07:21Myself and Marcus Brigstocke
2:07:21 > 2:07:24have been snowboarding together for a long time.
2:07:24 > 2:07:27We started at the Altitude Comedy Festival in Austria,
2:07:27 > 2:07:29just so that we could snowboard more.
2:07:29 > 2:07:33I'm not great. I've been snowboarding for 22 years.
2:07:33 > 2:07:35Have you plateaued?
2:07:35 > 2:07:38Well, you know, you get to that point where you realise that
2:07:38 > 2:07:40if you're Irish or British and you're on a snowboard
2:07:40 > 2:07:44and you're in Continental Europe, it doesn't matter how hard you try,
2:07:44 > 2:07:46you will still never be as good as the local six-year-olds.
2:07:46 > 2:07:48LAUGHTER
2:07:48 > 2:07:53I'm not joking, Alan. They bully you. They do! I've had it.
2:07:53 > 2:07:57When I was learning to snowboard, I was out in Finland
2:07:57 > 2:08:00and I had local kids just knocking me off my board.
2:08:00 > 2:08:04And then they'd stop in front of you and go, "Ha, ha, old man!
2:08:04 > 2:08:09"You're too old to be cool! We are mocking you in our second language!"
2:08:11 > 2:08:14You see, now, there's a reason why we have a Scandinavian on the couch,
2:08:14 > 2:08:16and that is exactly it. We thought
2:08:16 > 2:08:19"We can't have a Winter Olympics show without a Scandinavian,"
2:08:19 > 2:08:20and we have Sofie Hagen. But unfortunately,
2:08:20 > 2:08:23it was only after we booked you for the show that we found out
2:08:23 > 2:08:24that Denmark has in fact
2:08:24 > 2:08:28got a worse record in the Winter Olympics than Britain.
2:08:28 > 2:08:29LAUGHTER
2:08:29 > 2:08:33- Yes.- It's sort of flat, like East Anglia, isn't it?
2:08:33 > 2:08:35We are the only country, apart from Britain...
2:08:35 > 2:08:38But for you, we've put together a little VT,
2:08:38 > 2:08:43a compilation of Denmark's finest Winter Olympics moments.
2:08:43 > 2:08:47In second place, the silver medal team, Denmark!
2:08:47 > 2:08:49LAUGHTER
2:08:55 > 2:08:59- She's welling up slightly there. It must be very moving.- It was.
2:09:04 > 2:09:06I'm quite pleased with that.
2:09:06 > 2:09:10It has been a spectacular opening ceremony in Sochi,
2:09:10 > 2:09:14as you can see. I think we have some clips of the opening ceremony.
2:09:14 > 2:09:16There it is. Ooh!
2:09:16 > 2:09:21Marvellous, isn't it? Yes, fireworks.
2:09:22 > 2:09:23Small girl.
2:09:23 > 2:09:27Yes, I think someone has been watching London 2012,
2:09:27 > 2:09:29but never mind.
2:09:29 > 2:09:33We've got to crack on now, got a lot to get through this evening.
2:09:33 > 2:09:36Now, Sochi is the focus of the world for the next few weeks,
2:09:36 > 2:09:38and the opening ceremony has been going on there today.
2:09:38 > 2:09:40We can cross to Sochi now
2:09:40 > 2:09:43to talk to one of the rarest breeds in sport,
2:09:43 > 2:09:45a British Winter Olympics gold medallist.
2:09:45 > 2:09:49She's the skeleton pilot who won gold at the 2010 Vancouver Games.
2:09:51 > 2:09:54- REPORTER:- 'It's hanging in there. The top speed is good.
2:09:54 > 2:09:58'Amy Williams really is going for gold here. The last turn.
2:09:58 > 2:10:00'Surely it's gold for Great Britain.
2:10:01 > 2:10:07'Oh, yes! Amy Williams is the queen of speed in Canada.'
2:10:10 > 2:10:13Please welcome, live from Sochi, Amy Williams!
2:10:19 > 2:10:21Amy, hello. How are you?
2:10:21 > 2:10:23Hello, I'm good, thank you.
2:10:23 > 2:10:27What's the weather like? Anything happened yet? Anything to report?
2:10:27 > 2:10:32Nothing to report. Normally blue skies. It's a bit breezy, bit cold.
2:10:32 > 2:10:35- Perfect for Winter Olympics. - Four years ago, you won gold.
2:10:35 > 2:10:37Now you're out there in Sochi as a commentator.
2:10:37 > 2:10:40Are you getting a bit of an itch? Do you wish you were competing now?
2:10:42 > 2:10:44I do. I went up to the skeleton bobsleigh track
2:10:44 > 2:10:47for the last three days, and it looks beautiful.
2:10:47 > 2:10:51I was dying just to get a sled and go down and have a go myself.
2:10:51 > 2:10:54Are you allowed to do that? Do they let you on?
2:10:54 > 2:10:57No. I'm not allowed.
2:10:57 > 2:11:00Now, listen, I read that you started sledging,
2:11:00 > 2:11:03and I'm going to call it sledging...
2:11:03 > 2:11:06- OK.- Is this right?
2:11:06 > 2:11:08It was the only push-start track in the country,
2:11:08 > 2:11:11and it was quite near your house in Bath, is that right?
2:11:11 > 2:11:14Yes, it's five minutes.
2:11:14 > 2:11:16Yeah, five minutes away from my house
2:11:16 > 2:11:18and I just went and gave it a go one day.
2:11:18 > 2:11:20So you just did it by chance.
2:11:20 > 2:11:22You've never touched a ski, is that right?
2:11:22 > 2:11:24You like beach holidays, you don't like the cold.
2:11:24 > 2:11:27Can I suggest that your commitment to your sport is not exactly 100%?
2:11:31 > 2:11:35Yeah, I hate the cold! In fact, my hands are now absolutely freezing.
2:11:35 > 2:11:38I've even read that the beach volleyball team for 2012
2:11:38 > 2:11:40moved to Bath and you said, if they'd moved a year earlier,
2:11:40 > 2:11:42you'd have done that, is that right?
2:11:45 > 2:11:49Yeah, quite possibly. Anything, I'd rather always the sand than the snow.
2:11:49 > 2:11:52Now, you upset the odds in 2010 with your fantastic
2:11:52 > 2:11:54achievement by winning gold.
2:11:54 > 2:11:56Shelley Rudman was our best medal hope at the time.
2:11:56 > 2:11:58She'd won silver previously.
2:11:58 > 2:11:59Some people said that, allegedly,
2:11:59 > 2:12:03Shelley had a better sled than you and wouldn't share it with you.
2:12:03 > 2:12:05And then she didn't come to your celebratory dinner.
2:12:05 > 2:12:07So, while we've got you, we need to clear something up,
2:12:07 > 2:12:09do you hate Shelley Rudman?
2:12:09 > 2:12:11LAUGHTER
2:12:13 > 2:12:15No comment.
2:12:15 > 2:12:16LAUGHTER
2:12:16 > 2:12:19APPLAUSE
2:12:24 > 2:12:27Fair point, well made. Excellent work, Amy.
2:12:27 > 2:12:30Now, listen, your sledge, your fantastic sledge,
2:12:30 > 2:12:32you gave it a name, what was it called?
2:12:34 > 2:12:36Arthur, my sled, yes.
2:12:36 > 2:12:40Is this right, it cost £100,000?
2:12:42 > 2:12:44The research that went into the sled
2:12:44 > 2:12:47and the technology could have come to about that much, but if you're
2:12:47 > 2:12:51about to go and buy one, then they'll probably be about £5,000-£10,000.
2:12:51 > 2:12:535,000 to 10,000 new.
2:12:53 > 2:12:56You know, the depreciation on those things is shocking.
2:12:56 > 2:12:57LAUGHTER
2:12:57 > 2:12:59As soon as you've slid off the forecourt,
2:12:59 > 2:13:01you're just burning money.
2:13:01 > 2:13:03You know, a bin bag is really cheap as well.
2:13:03 > 2:13:06Andrew suggested a bin bag. Any kind of a tray.
2:13:06 > 2:13:07LAUGHTER
2:13:07 > 2:13:11Yeah, I used to slide down on manure bags from my grandpa,
2:13:11 > 2:13:13and they always worked really well.
2:13:13 > 2:13:17Stuffed them with newspaper, take out the padding and the bumps, perfect.
2:13:19 > 2:13:22That's very good to hear about your family life.
2:13:22 > 2:13:25LAUGHTER
2:13:25 > 2:13:27So, now, you've retired, you're now commentating,
2:13:27 > 2:13:29how are you getting on with the commentating?
2:13:29 > 2:13:31Are you looking forward to that?
2:13:31 > 2:13:34Yeah, it's being on the other side.
2:13:34 > 2:13:36I don't feel quite as comfortable behind the mic
2:13:36 > 2:13:38than being interviewed the other way.
2:13:38 > 2:13:40But it's a new life for me,
2:13:40 > 2:13:44it's very strange to be at an Olympics and to be interviewing
2:13:44 > 2:13:47all my old friends from other nations and the Team GB athletes. So...
2:13:47 > 2:13:50- Don't worry, Amy. - I'm hoping I do a good job.
2:13:50 > 2:13:52I'm going to give you a chance now to practise.
2:13:52 > 2:13:55We've got a little bit of skeleton footage.
2:13:55 > 2:13:56OK, so I'm going to commentate
2:13:56 > 2:13:59and I'm going to invite you to make expert comment. Here we go.
2:13:59 > 2:14:01They're off, they've started.
2:14:01 > 2:14:02They're going down. Down...
2:14:02 > 2:14:04LAUGHTER
2:14:04 > 2:14:05Good push. Right.
2:14:05 > 2:14:08Round the corner. Going around a corner!
2:14:08 > 2:14:10Around another corner. Any time, Amy.
2:14:10 > 2:14:13Steering with their shoulders, great.
2:14:13 > 2:14:16- What would they be thinking now... Around a corner!- Steering...
2:14:16 > 2:14:18SHE LAUGHS
2:14:18 > 2:14:21Steering with their toes, steering with their shoulders,
2:14:21 > 2:14:22looking with their head.
2:14:22 > 2:14:24Looking with their head? Good!
2:14:24 > 2:14:26LAUGHTER
2:14:26 > 2:14:30- Along a bit more. - Yeah, lightning speed reactions.
2:14:30 > 2:14:32Lightning speed reactions.
2:14:32 > 2:14:35Steering with their head, bouncing off the side.
2:14:35 > 2:14:37- Perfect line.- Perfect line.
2:14:37 > 2:14:40APPLAUSE
2:14:44 > 2:14:46So, you've been down there,
2:14:46 > 2:14:49you've had a look at the Sochi course, have you picked
2:14:49 > 2:14:51the spot you hope it all goes wrong for Shelley Rudman?
2:14:51 > 2:14:52LAUGHTER
2:14:52 > 2:14:54No, no, no.
2:14:54 > 2:14:56No. I wish all the athletes well.
2:14:56 > 2:15:00She's a very talented slider, all our skeleton sliders are great.
2:15:00 > 2:15:04And she could win a medal just as much as Lizzie Arnold,
2:15:04 > 2:15:06who's in for the favourite, so I wish them all well.
2:15:06 > 2:15:08Of course you do. Fantastic.
2:15:08 > 2:15:11LAUGHTER
2:15:11 > 2:15:13It's absolutely brilliant, Amy, to have you on.
2:15:13 > 2:15:15It's so great to talk to you. Before I let you go,
2:15:15 > 2:15:18is there one event you're looking forward to this week?
2:15:18 > 2:15:19What should we look out for?
2:15:20 > 2:15:23Tomorrow, I'm going to the ski slope.
2:15:23 > 2:15:24Billy Morgan is our...
2:15:24 > 2:15:27Britain's number one favourite for tomorrow morning.
2:15:27 > 2:15:30- So, I am off to watch that. - Brilliant.
2:15:30 > 2:15:33Thanks, Amy, thanks so much. Amy Williams, ladies and gentlemen.
2:15:33 > 2:15:34APPLAUSE
2:15:39 > 2:15:42So, anyway, Sochi. Sochi is where it's all happening.
2:15:42 > 2:15:45It is a bit of a strange choice but the plan is for it to become
2:15:45 > 2:15:49a go-to holiday destination after the Olympics.
2:15:49 > 2:15:50You know, like Stratford has.
2:15:50 > 2:15:52LAUGHTER
2:15:55 > 2:15:59Plans were recently revealed to transport two killer whales
2:15:59 > 2:16:02to Sochi and put them on display at the dolphinarium.
2:16:02 > 2:16:05A word to the wise, if you're in Sochi, and you're against that
2:16:05 > 2:16:08sort of thing, don't go around shouting "Free Willy!" in the street.
2:16:08 > 2:16:09LAUGHTER
2:16:10 > 2:16:13Putin doesn't like that sort of thing.
2:16:13 > 2:16:16Journalists generally haven't had a good word to say
2:16:16 > 2:16:19recently about Sochi. It is hardly surprising.
2:16:19 > 2:16:21He wasn't very nice to Nigella, now, was he?
2:16:21 > 2:16:23LAUGHTER
2:16:23 > 2:16:29Having a bit of a row about the state of the accommodation in Sochi,
2:16:29 > 2:16:33some of which seems to be not entirely, what's the word...ready.
2:16:33 > 2:16:35LAUGHTER
2:16:35 > 2:16:38Anyway, people have been posting photos from Sochi on Twitter.
2:16:38 > 2:16:43Here's one now. This is from Henry Reekie of CNN.
2:16:43 > 2:16:47Good to see CNN are right there, as ever, first to the big stories.
2:16:47 > 2:16:51That's the big one. That's what everybody is talking about.
2:16:51 > 2:16:53That's the Iron Curtain, it's fallen down.
2:16:54 > 2:16:58- It's come down.- Was it more glamorous in your day in the Olympic village? This is a bit ropey.
2:16:58 > 2:17:02You've got to remember, the journalists arrive early there.
2:17:02 > 2:17:04So they get the terrible rooms.
2:17:04 > 2:17:06Well, the Olympics starting, opening ceremony today,
2:17:06 > 2:17:08the athletes get there a week before.
2:17:08 > 2:17:10The journalists are probably there two weeks before.
2:17:10 > 2:17:11So, nobody told the organisers
2:17:11 > 2:17:13the journalists get there that much earlier.
2:17:13 > 2:17:16- No-one told them they were coming? - Well, I imagine so.
2:17:16 > 2:17:20- Sally-Anne, did you share a room or did you have your own room? - I had my own room, yeah.
2:17:20 > 2:17:22Nice. Bit better than that?
2:17:22 > 2:17:25It was a bit noisy cos the skiers were also on that same floor,
2:17:25 > 2:17:29and they tended to come in late at night and create a little bit of a noise.
2:17:29 > 2:17:33- That's the apres ski. - I like that sort of insight.
2:17:33 > 2:17:35All the skaters in bed, "Here come the skiers!"
2:17:35 > 2:17:37LAUGHTER
2:17:37 > 2:17:38"Pissed out of their mind."
2:17:39 > 2:17:42Now, the curtain's not so good, but there have been some notable
2:17:42 > 2:17:45plumbing successes, however, if you'd like to have a look at this.
2:17:47 > 2:17:49LAUGHTER
2:17:50 > 2:17:54There's been some speculation as to who might sit on the three chairs.
2:17:54 > 2:17:55LAUGHTER
2:17:55 > 2:17:57It's just...
2:17:57 > 2:17:59It's just nice to look up and see people giving you scores.
2:17:59 > 2:18:01LAUGHTER
2:18:02 > 2:18:04Lovely, ten. A lovely dismount.
2:18:04 > 2:18:06LAUGHTER
2:18:06 > 2:18:09- They've got a tandem one as well. - Oh, the "two-boggan?"
2:18:09 > 2:18:10I've seen the two-boggan.
2:18:10 > 2:18:12LAUGHTER
2:18:12 > 2:18:15It's two toilets next to each other. Two-boggan.
2:18:15 > 2:18:17- It's so nice to hold hands. - It is nice.
2:18:17 > 2:18:19Or if you can't get the crossword clue.
2:18:19 > 2:18:21LAUGHTER
2:18:24 > 2:18:28One German journalist reported that when he checked into his hotel
2:18:28 > 2:18:31he found a construction worker in the room.
2:18:31 > 2:18:34Presumably, the last surviving member
2:18:34 > 2:18:35of the Olympic Village People.
2:18:35 > 2:18:37LAUGHTER
2:18:37 > 2:18:39The Olympic Village People!
2:18:39 > 2:18:41APPLAUSE
2:18:45 > 2:18:47Anyway, moving on.
2:18:47 > 2:18:50For me, the Olympics is all about the competitors.
2:18:50 > 2:18:52In most of the events, the most important thing
2:18:52 > 2:18:55for a Winter Olympian is to stay standing up.
2:18:56 > 2:19:00And the ultimate hero of staying standing up
2:19:00 > 2:19:02is Australia's Steven Bradbury.
2:19:02 > 2:19:04Steven won gold for Australia in Salt Lake City
2:19:04 > 2:19:07in 2002 in the short track speed skating.
2:19:07 > 2:19:09And this is how he did it.
2:19:10 > 2:19:12Here's the bell.
2:19:13 > 2:19:15Ohno on his way to gold
2:19:15 > 2:19:18but China are ominously placed, Li coming round the outside.
2:19:18 > 2:19:21There's a faller! And they've all gone!
2:19:21 > 2:19:23And that's left...
2:19:25 > 2:19:27Steven Bradbury winner at the Olympic Games!
2:19:29 > 2:19:33We can talk to him now. Thanks for joining us tonight, Steven!
2:19:33 > 2:19:35APPLAUSE
2:19:38 > 2:19:40Steven, it's so good to talk to you.
2:19:40 > 2:19:44We just watched your moment, your gold winning moment.
2:19:44 > 2:19:47And now you're out there in Sochi, how are things? Your hotel room OK?
2:19:47 > 2:19:49You settled in?
2:19:49 > 2:19:52Yeah, mate, I've been here a few days in Sochi now, and the excitement
2:19:52 > 2:19:56has really built, with the opening ceremony just being completed.
2:19:56 > 2:19:58Australia's got an amazing team here.
2:19:58 > 2:20:01And I think we're going to win a hell of a lot more medals
2:20:01 > 2:20:03here in Sochi than GB, no problem.
2:20:05 > 2:20:09- No!- Well, OK, not going to argue with you there, mate.
2:20:09 > 2:20:11I will.
2:20:11 > 2:20:14Similar result to the Ashes, I believe.
2:20:14 > 2:20:16BOOING
2:20:16 > 2:20:20Now, you became, let's face it, very, very famous,
2:20:20 > 2:20:22particularly in Australia, after your win.
2:20:22 > 2:20:25You had your face on a stamp, which is better than a stamp on the face.
2:20:27 > 2:20:30And your name has entered the language in Australia.
2:20:30 > 2:20:33A Bradbury came to mean "a miraculous victory
2:20:33 > 2:20:35"due to the ineptitude of an opponent".
2:20:35 > 2:20:37LAUGHTER
2:20:37 > 2:20:39There we are, again, talking about the Ashes.
2:20:40 > 2:20:44- Ineptitude, that's a good word, isn't it?- It is a good word.
2:20:44 > 2:20:47It is one we use often here in reference to sport.
2:20:47 > 2:20:49LAUGHTER
2:20:50 > 2:20:55Now, it was five years after you won your gold in 2002.
2:20:55 > 2:20:57You were inducted into
2:20:57 > 2:20:59the Australian Winter Olympics Hall of Fame.
2:20:59 > 2:21:02I'm wondering, is that your own hall in your house?
2:21:02 > 2:21:03LAUGHTER
2:21:07 > 2:21:10Do you go through your front door and say, "The Hall of Fame!"
2:21:12 > 2:21:17Yeah, plenty of pictures of myself in my own hallway.
2:21:17 > 2:21:22As a nation, we actually have five Winter Olympic gold medals nowadays,
2:21:22 > 2:21:25and I was fortunate enough to win the first one.
2:21:25 > 2:21:27But, you know, we're...
2:21:27 > 2:21:29We're certainly punching above our weight
2:21:29 > 2:21:32in the Winter Olympic Games these days.
2:21:32 > 2:21:35We are by no means a sideshow any more. Or a numbers filler.
2:21:35 > 2:21:37So, yeah, keep your eyes peeled for some of the Aussies.
2:21:37 > 2:21:41And our favourite to win is our flag bearer, who carried the flag,
2:21:41 > 2:21:44- Alex Pullin, in the snowboard cross. - Excellent, looking out for Alex.
2:21:44 > 2:21:46That's a good tip, thank you, Steven.
2:21:46 > 2:21:49Now, you went to four Olympics, is that right?
2:21:49 > 2:21:51Correct.
2:21:51 > 2:21:53And you'd been training for 12 years,
2:21:53 > 2:21:56so there was a bit of laughter in the studio when everyone fell over
2:21:56 > 2:21:58and you won, but it took a bit of effort to get there
2:21:58 > 2:22:01in the first place. I mean, I understand at one point
2:22:01 > 2:22:02you were impaled on a skate
2:22:02 > 2:22:05and had to have 111 stitches, is that right?
2:22:05 > 2:22:06- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
2:22:06 > 2:22:10Yeah, that's correct. I had a couple of bad injuries in my career.
2:22:10 > 2:22:13One where I lost two thirds of my blood in a racing crash
2:22:13 > 2:22:15in Montreal in Canada.
2:22:15 > 2:22:17Later on in my career, I was unfortunate enough to go
2:22:17 > 2:22:19headfirst into the barrier and break my neck.
2:22:19 > 2:22:24I've definitely had my ups and downs through my skating career.
2:22:24 > 2:22:29And it was an incredible result the way I was able to finish it.
2:22:29 > 2:22:33But the other panellists you've got on your show tonight, they know
2:22:33 > 2:22:37what hard work is as well and they've competed at the Olympic Games.
2:22:37 > 2:22:38People realise that...
2:22:38 > 2:22:39AUDIENCE CHUCKLE
2:22:39 > 2:22:42..you don't strap on skates a couple of weeks before
2:22:42 > 2:22:45and then make it to the final of the Winter Olympics.
2:22:45 > 2:22:46Quite right, too.
2:22:46 > 2:22:49Nowadays, apart from your work, you work in Australian television,
2:22:49 > 2:22:51but you do some motivational speaking.
2:22:51 > 2:22:53Can I ask you before I let you go, what's your message
2:22:53 > 2:22:55when you motivationally speak?
2:22:55 > 2:22:57Yeah, I don't like that term.
2:22:57 > 2:23:00I don't do motivational speaking, it sounds un-Australian.
2:23:00 > 2:23:02LAUGHTER
2:23:02 > 2:23:05Let me give you an opportunity to tell us
2:23:05 > 2:23:07what you would call it in Australia.
2:23:07 > 2:23:09I'd like to call it real life speaking.
2:23:09 > 2:23:11But I do corporate entertainment
2:23:11 > 2:23:14and that "M"-speaking word you mentioned a moment ago.
2:23:14 > 2:23:19The main message is that passion, persistence and teamwork can lead
2:23:19 > 2:23:22to success if you're prepared to stick at something for a long time.
2:23:22 > 2:23:26And we're going to see a lot of athletes in Sochi that have done exactly that.
2:23:26 > 2:23:29And there'll be some magic moments over the next 16 nights.
2:23:29 > 2:23:32There certainly will. Steven, thank you so much for joining us.
2:23:32 > 2:23:34Steven Bradbury, ladies and gents.
2:23:39 > 2:23:44Often at these things, the trouble you have is knowing who to support
2:23:44 > 2:23:47when your country isn't represented. But I can help you there.
2:23:47 > 2:23:50For example, I think we're all looking forward
2:23:50 > 2:23:52to seeing Andreas Wank in the ski jump.
2:23:52 > 2:23:53LAUGHTER
2:23:53 > 2:23:56Luca Cunti in the ice hockey.
2:23:56 > 2:23:59And let's not forget Daniel Pfister in the luge.
2:23:59 > 2:24:00LAUGHTER
2:24:00 > 2:24:02Sadly, there's no Fanny Chmelar this time around.
2:24:02 > 2:24:05LAUGHTER
2:24:05 > 2:24:08Or you can always just pick an underdog and support them.
2:24:08 > 2:24:11Keep an eye out for Bruno Banani. He's competing in the luge.
2:24:11 > 2:24:13There's Bruno there. Have you read about him?
2:24:13 > 2:24:16He's from Tonga, actually. He's Tonga's first Winter Olympian.
2:24:16 > 2:24:18It's not his real name.
2:24:18 > 2:24:21He changed his name from Fuahea Semi to Bruno Banani,
2:24:21 > 2:24:23which just happens to be the name of his sponsor.
2:24:24 > 2:24:26A German underwear manufacturer.
2:24:27 > 2:24:28There they are.
2:24:28 > 2:24:30LAUGHTER
2:24:33 > 2:24:36Their slogan is, "Not for everyone."
2:24:36 > 2:24:39Certainly not for the bloke in the middle, anyway.
2:24:39 > 2:24:40LAUGHTER
2:24:42 > 2:24:47According to the Sydney Morning Herald, Bruno was
2:24:47 > 2:24:49coaxed into taking up the luge.
2:24:50 > 2:24:52I think I've read that right.
2:24:52 > 2:24:53LAUGHTER
2:24:57 > 2:24:59Moving on.
2:24:59 > 2:25:03Keep an eye out, if you like, for Mexico's only competitor,
2:25:03 > 2:25:05Prince Hubertus von Hohenlohe. There he is.
2:25:05 > 2:25:08LAUGHTER
2:25:10 > 2:25:15- He used to race when I was racing. - Did he?- Yeah, he's 55 years old now.
2:25:15 > 2:25:19- He's not doing the downhill. - Is he not?- No...- The uphill? - ..he's doing the slalom.
2:25:19 > 2:25:23- He goes about that speed. But he's always there.- He's in there.
2:25:23 > 2:25:27He's been to many Olympics. He's a minor German royal.
2:25:27 > 2:25:29His parents, apparently,
2:25:29 > 2:25:32always wanted to have one member of the family who was Mexican.
2:25:32 > 2:25:36So they went to Mexico when she was about to drop and had him there.
2:25:36 > 2:25:40- His dad lives in Marbella.- His dad lives in Marbella, that's right.
2:25:40 > 2:25:44- Really, honestly, you should get on Mastermind.- He's my mate!
2:25:44 > 2:25:49Let's not forget India's luger, Shiva Keshavan.
2:25:49 > 2:25:51Handsome devil, Shiva, there he is.
2:25:51 > 2:25:56Shiva has been practising on the Himalayan highway. So to speak.
2:25:56 > 2:25:57It's not a euphemism.
2:25:58 > 2:26:01Let's have a look at him in training. You won't believe this.
2:26:01 > 2:26:04That's actually him practising.
2:26:06 > 2:26:08LAUGHTER
2:26:26 > 2:26:31- That is impressive. - You've got to say.
2:26:31 > 2:26:34Now, we've all got people we want to root for.
2:26:34 > 2:26:37Andrew, you've got the Irish team to root for, of course.
2:26:37 > 2:26:42I will of course be supporting Ireland. We've got five competitors.
2:26:42 > 2:26:46All born strategically around the world.
2:26:46 > 2:26:49It's a slow programme, that's what we're going to do.
2:26:49 > 2:26:53First, Ireland will populate the world, in mountainy regions.
2:26:53 > 2:26:55We're looking for two thousand and...
2:26:55 > 2:27:01Well, about a thousand years' time, the next glacial lowering.
2:27:01 > 2:27:04And, of course, the British team, Konrad, good hopes for them?
2:27:04 > 2:27:08Yeah, we've got 11 or 12 genuine medal contenders,
2:27:08 > 2:27:09teams or individuals, going out.
2:27:09 > 2:27:12This is the strongest team we've ever sent to Sochi.
2:27:12 > 2:27:15So, we've been having a lot of fun tonight but when it's ice,
2:27:15 > 2:27:17when you're going 80mph,
2:27:17 > 2:27:19it's a matter of life and death, and hard work.
2:27:19 > 2:27:23- Good luck to them.- And, Sofie, of course, you're expecting nothing.
2:27:23 > 2:27:25LAUGHTER
2:27:25 > 2:27:27The curling team we're sending out this year
2:27:27 > 2:27:29just came second in the Danish championship.
2:27:29 > 2:27:31In the Danish championship!
2:27:31 > 2:27:33LAUGHTER
2:27:33 > 2:27:36APPLAUSE
2:27:36 > 2:27:38Thank you very much to all the guests.
2:27:38 > 2:27:41Konrad Bartelski Sofie Hagen, Andrew Maxwell,
2:27:41 > 2:27:42and Sally-Anne Stapleford.
2:27:42 > 2:27:43Thank you very much.
2:27:47 > 2:27:48But, you know what?
2:27:48 > 2:27:51Talking about this Winter Olympics stuff has made me want to have a go.
2:27:51 > 2:27:53After all, how hard can it be?
2:27:53 > 2:27:55APPLAUSE
2:28:03 > 2:28:06Higher than I thought it was. There we go.
2:28:06 > 2:28:10Wh-o-o-o-o-o-a!
2:28:11 > 2:28:12LAUGHTER
2:28:12 > 2:28:14I can see my house from here.
2:28:15 > 2:28:17Next week, the ski jump starts.
2:28:17 > 2:28:21Under the rules, there are two types of hill used in ski jumping.
2:28:21 > 2:28:23Normal hill and large hill.
2:28:23 > 2:28:26Stop me if I'm getting too technical for you.
2:28:26 > 2:28:29Ski jumping was invented in Norway by a man who,
2:28:29 > 2:28:32only seconds before, had been installing a satellite dish.
2:28:32 > 2:28:33LAUGHTER
2:28:33 > 2:28:37One of America's big medal hopes in the downhill is Bode Miller,
2:28:37 > 2:28:40five times gold medallist, multimillionaire,
2:28:40 > 2:28:42married to a pro beach volleyball player.
2:28:42 > 2:28:43Yeah, but is he happy?
2:28:43 > 2:28:45LAUGHTER
2:28:45 > 2:28:48Also risking life and limb on the slopes will be Vanessa Mae.
2:28:48 > 2:28:52She'll be joined in the relay by Theresa May and Brian May.
2:28:52 > 2:28:53LAUGHTER
2:28:53 > 2:28:56The short track speed skating starts soon.
2:28:56 > 2:29:00Short track is basically a fast-moving slippery fight
2:29:00 > 2:29:01that comes past every 30 seconds.
2:29:01 > 2:29:04A bit like if they polish the floor in a Wetherspoon's.
2:29:04 > 2:29:05LAUGHTER
2:29:05 > 2:29:09Personally, I am very much looking forward to the biathlon
2:29:09 > 2:29:10getting under way.
2:29:10 > 2:29:14Although I thought Putin didn't approve of biathletes.
2:29:14 > 2:29:16LAUGHTER
2:29:16 > 2:29:17APPLAUSE
2:29:17 > 2:29:19That's all from Apres-Ski for this week.
2:29:19 > 2:29:23I'm Alan Davies, see you next Friday. Good night.
2:29:24 > 2:29:27Wh-o-o-o-o-o-a!