Episode 2

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2:02:27 > 2:02:29APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:02:33 > 2:02:37Hello, I'm Alan Davies and welcome to Apres-ski!

2:02:37 > 2:02:39APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:02:43 > 2:02:46So, we have had the first week of the Winter Olympics in Sochi

2:02:46 > 2:02:48and what a week it's been.

2:02:48 > 2:02:49Lizzy Yarnold has won gold!

2:02:49 > 2:02:51APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:02:59 > 2:03:02It's been all about the skeleton today. The skeleton

2:03:02 > 2:03:05course in Sochi, one of the toughest in the world.

2:03:05 > 2:03:07The toughest part of the course is the labyrinth,

2:03:07 > 2:03:09the fastest is the long straight

2:03:09 > 2:03:12and the nicest is the Muller corner, especially the strawberry.

2:03:12 > 2:03:14LAUGHTER

2:03:14 > 2:03:16Team GB's Jamie "Woodsy" Woods was

2:03:16 > 2:03:18competing in the slopestyle yesterday,

2:03:18 > 2:03:21the BBC website had described him as a concrete medal hope.

2:03:21 > 2:03:24Turns out that's what you get for coming fifth.

2:03:24 > 2:03:26LAUGHTER

2:03:26 > 2:03:28The week started well for us on Sunday, Jenny Jones won

2:03:28 > 2:03:31Britain's first ever Olympic medal on the snow!

2:03:31 > 2:03:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:03:35 > 2:03:38And, of course, once Jenny had won her medal,

2:03:38 > 2:03:41the cameras ambushed her with her parents.

2:03:41 > 2:03:43They did the same thing with our 18-year-old skier,

2:03:43 > 2:03:45Katie Summerhayes.

2:03:45 > 2:03:48Just what a teenager wants, "Mum, Dad, shut up!"

2:03:48 > 2:03:49LAUGHTER

2:03:49 > 2:03:53Forecasters have predicted high temperatures of 17 degrees

2:03:53 > 2:03:56at the Olympic Park this week, which has got everyone worried.

2:03:56 > 2:03:59Any warmer and President Putin will be getting his shirt off again.

2:03:59 > 2:04:00LAUGHTER

2:04:00 > 2:04:03Incidentally, Jenny Jones is also an accomplished surfer, so

2:04:03 > 2:04:06if it does get any warmer in Sochi she could be up for another medal.

2:04:06 > 2:04:07CHEERING

2:04:07 > 2:04:10Britain has also been doing OK in the curling.

2:04:10 > 2:04:12Although, I say Britain, I mean Scotland, of course.

2:04:12 > 2:04:16Yes, quite right. What would happen if Scotland votes for independence?

2:04:16 > 2:04:19They'll be going, "Bye now, good luck with the curling."

2:04:19 > 2:04:21And we'll be going, "Yeah, good luck with the funding!"

2:04:21 > 2:04:24LAUGHTER

2:04:25 > 2:04:27Two Canadian sisters won gold

2:04:27 > 2:04:31and silver in the women's moguls this week. There they are.

2:04:31 > 2:04:33There were actually three sisters competing in the event,

2:04:33 > 2:04:36Justine, Chloe and Maxime or as their mum

2:04:36 > 2:04:38and dad now call them, gold, silver and the other one.

2:04:38 > 2:04:39LAUGHTER

2:04:39 > 2:04:41The oldest one missed out on a medal.

2:04:41 > 2:04:44I bet she now regrets saying yes when the younger ones said,

2:04:44 > 2:04:46- "Can we borrow your skis?" - LAUGHTER

2:04:46 > 2:04:48Incidentally, even with three sisters competing,

2:04:48 > 2:04:50Canadian TV didn't feel the need to surprise them

2:04:50 > 2:04:52by bringing out their parents at the end.

2:04:52 > 2:04:54LAUGHTER

2:04:54 > 2:04:56Meanwhile, in a nightclub in Sochi earlier this week,

2:04:56 > 2:05:00President Putin was seen hugging a medal winner who was a lesbian.

2:05:00 > 2:05:03I say hugging, could have been a headlock.

2:05:03 > 2:05:04LAUGHTER

2:05:04 > 2:05:07One step at a time, eh, Vladimir.

2:05:07 > 2:05:10Let the games begin!

2:05:10 > 2:05:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:05:17 > 2:05:19Hello, hello, hello.

2:05:19 > 2:05:22On the Apres-ski furs this week, representing Canada,

2:05:22 > 2:05:24comedian Katherine Ryan.

2:05:24 > 2:05:27From Norway, please welcome talk show host Else Kass Furuseth.

2:05:27 > 2:05:30And representing the West Country, it's Bill Bailey.

2:05:30 > 2:05:32APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:05:34 > 2:05:38Now, before we chat to all our lovely guests,

2:05:38 > 2:05:41let's enjoy the hot news from Sochi, we've won a gold!

2:05:41 > 2:05:44APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:05:44 > 2:05:45Come on!

2:05:46 > 2:05:50Team GB's Lizzy Yarnold demolished the field

2:05:50 > 2:05:51in the skeleton.

2:05:51 > 2:05:55- She's going to beat it. - Come on, Lizzy, last corner.

2:05:55 > 2:05:59Lizzy Yarnold is the Olympic Champion! Oh, my goodness!

2:05:59 > 2:06:01APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:06:05 > 2:06:08- So, Bill, makes you proud, that?- It does.

2:06:08 > 2:06:09It's fantastic, isn't it?

2:06:09 > 2:06:15I mean, now people will be taking skeletons out into the streets...

2:06:15 > 2:06:17LAUGHTER

2:06:18 > 2:06:21Going down hills in streets in Britain.

2:06:21 > 2:06:24I mean, it's brilliant, it's fantastic that it'll,

2:06:24 > 2:06:27hopefully, this will inspire a lot of people to get out there

2:06:27 > 2:06:28and get involved in this.

2:06:28 > 2:06:32- Now, you're a keen skier, of course. - I am.- Famously. Here's Bill...

2:06:32 > 2:06:34- Oh, yes.- ..as a young man there.

2:06:34 > 2:06:36What he's done there is he's gone down the mud,

2:06:36 > 2:06:38across the mud and stopped at the snow.

2:06:38 > 2:06:40Stopped at the snow, yeah.

2:06:40 > 2:06:42Yeah, that's what you did in the West Country

2:06:42 > 2:06:46in the '70s. That was actually just outside Taunton.

2:06:46 > 2:06:47LAUGHTER

2:06:47 > 2:06:52Yeah, '70s, yeah, '70s fashion's not very sort of...

2:06:52 > 2:06:54a bit counterintuitive with ski-wear, you know?

2:06:54 > 2:06:57- Not what you'd call a breathable fabric.- No, it's not really, no.

2:06:57 > 2:07:00We had great big flared ski pants.

2:07:00 > 2:07:03Well, you do seem to miss a point in your photo album that skiing

2:07:03 > 2:07:05is largely a winter sport.

2:07:05 > 2:07:08- Yes.- There is... We have another fine shot of you.

2:07:08 > 2:07:10- LAUGHTER - Oh, yes.

2:07:10 > 2:07:12Now this was...

2:07:12 > 2:07:14LAUGHTER

2:07:14 > 2:07:17..this was at that well-known ski resort, Bristol...

2:07:17 > 2:07:19on the dry slope.

2:07:19 > 2:07:23I went down on this dry slope a bit and then

2:07:23 > 2:07:26when we got to Italy, I think it was Tremalzo we went to first,

2:07:26 > 2:07:29I had no idea how fast the snow was going to be.

2:07:29 > 2:07:32I'd learnt on this dry slope and I got there and somebody said,

2:07:32 > 2:07:34"Have you learnt on a dry slope?"

2:07:34 > 2:07:37And I went, "Yeah, I can ski, yeah...skied on a carpet.

2:07:37 > 2:07:42And then you get on snow and it's 48,000 times faster.

2:07:42 > 2:07:44It's just aaaargh!

2:07:44 > 2:07:47Marvellous fashions, very good to see.

2:07:47 > 2:07:50Now, Katherine Ryan, it's wonderful that you're here.

2:07:50 > 2:07:52Canadian, of course. They know all about the winter sports.

2:07:52 > 2:07:55Every day is a winter sport in Canada.

2:07:55 > 2:07:56LAUGHTER

2:07:56 > 2:07:58Always doing the skeleton to work, you're skiing.

2:07:58 > 2:08:01I mean, what you see as a train cancellation is

2:08:01 > 2:08:02an opportunity for glory.

2:08:02 > 2:08:04LAUGHTER

2:08:04 > 2:08:06And you were a curler, in your time?

2:08:06 > 2:08:08I was a member of the Sarnia Golf and Curling Club

2:08:08 > 2:08:11and my father told me, "You'd better be good at curling and golf

2:08:11 > 2:08:15"cos that'll help you in business." And I became a comedian, so... LAUGHTER

2:08:15 > 2:08:17I was not very good at either.

2:08:17 > 2:08:19There's a slightly cryptic bit of advice there.

2:08:19 > 2:08:20I sweep a good floor, though.

2:08:20 > 2:08:22You should see my kitchen.

2:08:22 > 2:08:24Come on over. Spotless!

2:08:24 > 2:08:27And also, fantastic to have a Norwegian here.

2:08:27 > 2:08:31Else, talk show host from Norway, in her own country...quite famous.

2:08:31 > 2:08:33Gold medal in your house? Everyone's won one, haven't they?

2:08:33 > 2:08:36Everyone's won one. It's very nice to be here, thank you,

2:08:36 > 2:08:38on Valentine's day.

2:08:38 > 2:08:40I can take the hint. It's very nice.

2:08:40 > 2:08:41LAUGHTER

2:08:41 > 2:08:44I came all the way from Norway to meet you. Erm, but...

2:08:44 > 2:08:47It's true, it's true.

2:08:47 > 2:08:51But, in Norway, all the people are talking about Olympics all the time.

2:08:51 > 2:08:54So, all of them are out skiing as well.

2:08:54 > 2:08:57I'm, actually, the fattest person in Norway.

2:08:57 > 2:08:58LAUGHTER

2:08:58 > 2:09:01You, famously, have very passionate fans, of course, in Norway.

2:09:01 > 2:09:03We have a picture of some of your fans here.

2:09:03 > 2:09:05- Let's see these guys.- Yes!

2:09:05 > 2:09:07I'm proud.

2:09:07 > 2:09:10Cannot help noticing that everyone has left.

2:09:10 > 2:09:11LAUGHTER

2:09:11 > 2:09:14I don't know what they've done to clear that stand.

2:09:14 > 2:09:16Well, the Vikings arrived, obviously.

2:09:16 > 2:09:18The Vikings arrived and everyone thought, "I'm off!"

2:09:18 > 2:09:22There's a famous saying that all the Norwegians are born with

2:09:22 > 2:09:24the skis on their feet.

2:09:24 > 2:09:26- That's painful, isn't it?- Yes...yes.

2:09:26 > 2:09:28LAUGHTER

2:09:28 > 2:09:32I've never given birth but, yes, maybe...maybe, yes.

2:09:32 > 2:09:35Oh, I would imagine that would hinder giving birth.

2:09:35 > 2:09:39You'll like this one as well. This is one of your speed skaters,

2:09:39 > 2:09:42Havard Bokko. Have a look at this shot, I like this one.

2:09:42 > 2:09:43There he is!

2:09:43 > 2:09:46LAUGHTER

2:09:46 > 2:09:49Here he is with the flaming Bokko itself.

2:09:50 > 2:09:53- Typical Norwegian humour.- Flaming Bokko, no, that's dangerous.

2:09:53 > 2:09:56You need to get that checked out, immediately.

2:09:56 > 2:09:58Every tourist to Sochi is going to do that now.

2:09:58 > 2:10:00It's going to be like the Japanese tourists

2:10:00 > 2:10:03and the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

2:10:03 > 2:10:06Well, now, of course, the other big story for Team GB this week

2:10:06 > 2:10:10was Jenny Jones' brilliant bronze in the snowboard slopestyle.

2:10:10 > 2:10:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:10:15 > 2:10:17There's Jenny Jones, there. Well done, Jenny.

2:10:17 > 2:10:19Now, if you were watching the BBC coverage,

2:10:19 > 2:10:21you'll know that joining the commentary team

2:10:21 > 2:10:23of Ed Leigh and Tim Warwood,

2:10:23 > 2:10:26to watch Jenny's run, was her Team GB team-mate Aimee Fuller.

2:10:26 > 2:10:29And the three of them got quite carried away.

2:10:29 > 2:10:31I can feel my pulse in my lower intestine.

2:10:31 > 2:10:35- I feel slightly sick after watching that.- That's not your pulse, Ed.

2:10:35 > 2:10:38I can't feel my left leg, is that normal?

2:10:38 > 2:10:40I've got pins and needles in the bottom of my hands.

2:10:40 > 2:10:44- I've lost the ability to use my arms. - I feel like I'm going to be sick.

2:10:44 > 2:10:50- Oh, she's down!- Ha-ha! Woohoo!

2:10:50 > 2:10:55- We're not one.- Are we supposed to do that? Probably not.

2:10:55 > 2:10:56I think I might cry.

2:10:58 > 2:11:01You can cry, Aimee, it's all right.

2:11:01 > 2:11:05Well, both Ed and Aimee crying and now I'm going.

2:11:05 > 2:11:09- Oh, my God.- All professionalism goes straight out the window here.

2:11:09 > 2:11:11LAUGHTER

2:11:11 > 2:11:14There we go. That's how we react to a bronze here.

2:11:14 > 2:11:16LAUGHTER

2:11:16 > 2:11:18I'd like half a pint of whatever they were drinking.

2:11:18 > 2:11:20What were they thinking? Let's find out.

2:11:20 > 2:11:22Team GB snowboarder, part-time commentator Aimee Fuller!

2:11:22 > 2:11:25APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:11:32 > 2:11:34Thank you very much.

2:11:34 > 2:11:37Aimee Fuller is here. Can I say, I'm stoked to meet you!

2:11:37 > 2:11:40- Well, I'm glad you're stoked. - It is rad!

2:11:40 > 2:11:42It is rad, it's rad to be here.

2:11:42 > 2:11:45You are going to rip the lid off this interview!

2:11:45 > 2:11:47Are you going to huck it, though?

2:11:47 > 2:11:49- Just huck it.- Oh, huck it! See, that's the thing they say.

2:11:49 > 2:11:51Just huck it, yeah.

2:11:51 > 2:11:52LAUGHTER

2:11:52 > 2:11:55Aimee, pleased for Lizzy Yarnold? I expect you're very pleased.

2:11:55 > 2:11:58Erm, so pumped! I just watched it there in the dressing room and, erm,

2:11:58 > 2:12:00she's the nicest human.

2:12:00 > 2:12:03Again, like, lovely character and I'm buzzing for her,

2:12:03 > 2:12:05she absolutely slayed it.

2:12:05 > 2:12:07She's been killing it consistently just throughout, I think,

2:12:07 > 2:12:10the whole season, so yeah, amazing result!

2:12:10 > 2:12:11You're really pleased.

2:12:11 > 2:12:14This seems to be a bit of a thing amongst the Winter Olympians,

2:12:14 > 2:12:16especially with the snowboarders,

2:12:16 > 2:12:19you do genuinely seem to like each other and want each other

2:12:19 > 2:12:23to do well...apart from perhaps the Austrian girl who fell over and...

2:12:23 > 2:12:25Was that the best bit for you? The Jones winning

2:12:25 > 2:12:26or the Austrian girl falling over.

2:12:26 > 2:12:28I think that got slightly misinterpreted, erm,

2:12:28 > 2:12:32it was a genuine yelp of happiness as Jenny had just won a medal.

2:12:32 > 2:12:35It wasn't the fact that Anna had fallen over.

2:12:35 > 2:12:37Anna's a good friend of mine as well, erm,

2:12:37 > 2:12:39I'd actually picked her for gold.

2:12:39 > 2:12:42So, besides losing the bet that I'd placed with Ed

2:12:42 > 2:12:46and Tim as to who was to win, I was gutted that Anna, erm,

2:12:46 > 2:12:50hadn't won but at the same time my best friend just won a medal.

2:12:50 > 2:12:54So, yeah, kind of...emotions ran wild!

2:12:54 > 2:12:57- Very exciting.- It was exciting. I mean, why would you not be excited?

2:12:57 > 2:13:01Of course, I was excited, I was watching it on the TV.

2:13:01 > 2:13:02Very exciting.

2:13:02 > 2:13:05Particularly...we don't win medals at the Winter Olympics, normally,

2:13:05 > 2:13:07- it's just fantastic.- Yeah.

2:13:07 > 2:13:09And we don't get excited either.

2:13:09 > 2:13:12We're much more like the traditional English commentator to be much

2:13:12 > 2:13:14more of the, "Oh, well, probably fall over in a minute."

2:13:14 > 2:13:19Absolutely splendid...well done, Jenny Jones, from the UK.

2:13:19 > 2:13:21You'll make a wonderful parent because

2:13:21 > 2:13:25when a child falls you're meant to go, "Yeah!" And then they don't cry.

2:13:29 > 2:13:31Ok...now, Else, also of course...

2:13:31 > 2:13:32It was a bronze, wasn't it?

2:13:32 > 2:13:34Yes, so it was like...

2:13:34 > 2:13:36No, I'm just kidding.

2:13:37 > 2:13:41It's OK for you to say that cos you're from Norway.

2:13:41 > 2:13:43Come on, you've got mountains and everything.

2:13:43 > 2:13:45People cry when we get bronze, you know,

2:13:45 > 2:13:47- So...- Do they?

2:13:47 > 2:13:50Yeah, we cry when we get bronze!

2:13:50 > 2:13:51So exciting!

2:13:51 > 2:13:53But we're like four million

2:13:53 > 2:13:57and the four million people are out skiing.

2:13:57 > 2:14:01Of course, now you Norwegians are famously ice-cool

2:14:01 > 2:14:02and calm in commentary.

2:14:02 > 2:14:04- We'll show you a clip now...- Yes.

2:14:04 > 2:14:06..to illustrate that.

2:14:08 > 2:14:10COMMENTATOR: Lord Nelson!

2:14:10 > 2:14:14Lord Beaverbrook! Sir Winston Churchill!

2:14:14 > 2:14:17Sir Anthony Eden! Clement Atlee!

2:14:17 > 2:14:21Henry Cooper! Lady Diana!

2:14:23 > 2:14:25Maggie Thatcher!

2:14:25 > 2:14:28Can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher!

2:14:28 > 2:14:30Your boys took a hell of a beating!

2:14:33 > 2:14:36APPLAUSE

2:14:38 > 2:14:41Marvellous stuff. Now, Aimee, you got a bit steamed up during the snowboarding,

2:14:41 > 2:14:44when your roommate won a medal, which we completely understand

2:14:44 > 2:14:47but we thought we'd give you another chance at another winter sport,

2:14:47 > 2:14:50- there should be a microphone there for you.- Oh, thank you very much.

2:14:50 > 2:14:52A bit of curling. Let's see how you get on with the curling!

2:14:52 > 2:14:54Don't know too much about curling but I'll give it a shot.

2:14:54 > 2:14:56Pushing a stone...

2:14:56 > 2:14:58- OK.- ..on the ice.

2:14:58 > 2:15:01- So, he's going in.- He's going in for the power slide.

2:15:01 > 2:15:04Tongue came out, his tongue was out!

2:15:04 > 2:15:06And there's another stone! Another stone!

2:15:07 > 2:15:10He missed it!

2:15:10 > 2:15:12Does this get your juices flowing, Bill?

2:15:12 > 2:15:15Do you think there are any other options they could go with on the curling?

2:15:15 > 2:15:18Yeah, I always thought, to make curling more interesting,

2:15:18 > 2:15:20they could curl furniture.

2:15:21 > 2:15:23LAUGHTER

2:15:23 > 2:15:25Create a living room scene.

2:15:25 > 2:15:28Yeah, one of the team-mates can be in the chair, like this.

2:15:28 > 2:15:29LAUGHTER

2:15:29 > 2:15:32Then slowly, just slowly slide around.

2:15:33 > 2:15:36Then they're in and they go, "Right, send down the sofa."

2:15:36 > 2:15:37The sofa comes around.

2:15:37 > 2:15:41Then a telly...you could construct a living room.

2:15:41 > 2:15:44The living room that's most effectively arranged,

2:15:44 > 2:15:45you know, wins points.

2:15:45 > 2:15:47That would be very good.

2:15:47 > 2:15:50- The Japanese would be really good at that.- They would be excellent.

2:15:50 > 2:15:52All feng shui, all flowing, it would be beautiful.

2:15:52 > 2:15:55Would you be the person sitting on the chair or pushing?

2:15:55 > 2:15:56Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

2:15:56 > 2:15:59- Just chilling, laid back.- That would be the best sport ever!

2:15:59 > 2:16:01- Yeah, I'm an Olympian, yeah... - LAUGHTER

2:16:04 > 2:16:08I've got a remote here, there we go.

2:16:08 > 2:16:11A couple of fairground people giving you spin on the way down.

2:16:11 > 2:16:13Here it goes, spin it round.

2:16:13 > 2:16:15How is that different from the skeleton?

2:16:15 > 2:16:17They're just lying down.

2:16:17 > 2:16:19It looks like the only sport that could be won by a real skeleton.

2:16:19 > 2:16:21An actual skeleton.

2:16:21 > 2:16:23It's the only sport that you could win whilst reading a book.

2:16:23 > 2:16:25LAUGHTER

2:16:25 > 2:16:27You think you've got to keep your neck up.

2:16:27 > 2:16:30You've got to be very limber, haven't you, to do the skeleton?

2:16:30 > 2:16:32You've got to be limber about the neck.

2:16:32 > 2:16:35You've got to be gnarly to do that, like, there's not many people that

2:16:35 > 2:16:39could hold themselves to that tray at, what, 100 and something...?

2:16:39 > 2:16:42- It's something ridiculous.- Have you tried it, Aimee? Have you had a go?

2:16:42 > 2:16:45No, I actually randomly met a German and he was like,

2:16:45 > 2:16:47"You have to come ride on my sled."

2:16:47 > 2:16:49And I was like, "Erm, OK..."

2:16:49 > 2:16:51LAUGHTER

2:16:51 > 2:16:53That was chat-up line, I think.

2:16:53 > 2:16:55I wasn't impressed either way.

2:16:55 > 2:16:57But, Else, I wondered

2:16:57 > 2:16:59if you'd like to have a go at a bit of curling commentary.

2:16:59 > 2:17:01OK, I'm not sure but I'll try.

2:17:01 > 2:17:03I want to hear it.

2:17:03 > 2:17:06OK, it'll be something like this...

2:17:06 > 2:17:12Lord Sugar! Nick Clegg! Ant and Dec!

2:17:12 > 2:17:14Joey Essex!

2:17:14 > 2:17:18Alan Titchmarsh! Bob Crow!

2:17:18 > 2:17:23Harry Potter! Gyles Brandreth!

2:17:23 > 2:17:28Mrs Brown! Your boys took one hell of a beating!

2:17:28 > 2:17:31APPLAUSE

2:17:38 > 2:17:41Now, you know, we all love the Winter Olympics on Apres-ski.

2:17:41 > 2:17:43The skill and the commitment of the athletes are so impressive

2:17:43 > 2:17:46but even with all the practice and the training,

2:17:46 > 2:17:48things don't always go according to plan.

2:17:48 > 2:17:50The crashes have begun!

2:17:50 > 2:17:51CHEERING

2:17:51 > 2:17:53We love the falling over.

2:17:53 > 2:17:56Some people couldn't even wait until the action had officially started.

2:17:56 > 2:17:57LAUGHTER

2:17:57 > 2:18:01Somebody wiping out during the opening ceremony.

2:18:01 > 2:18:04The speed-skating...the speed-skating can always be

2:18:04 > 2:18:07relied upon for some thrills and spills, you'll like this.

2:18:07 > 2:18:09There he goes...and, oh!

2:18:11 > 2:18:13He's gone down.

2:18:13 > 2:18:17There's an Australian going, "Oh, jeez, it's cold, mate. Bloody hell!"

2:18:17 > 2:18:19What is this stuff?

2:18:19 > 2:18:20LAUGHTER

2:18:20 > 2:18:22Sometimes the coaches like to get in on the action.

2:18:22 > 2:18:25Aimee, you might recognise this one. See what you think of this one.

2:18:25 > 2:18:28COMMENTATOR: Oh, no. She's got to go back up to the top.

2:18:28 > 2:18:30Someone set her off...she's either set off early or the marshal's

2:18:30 > 2:18:32got it a bit wrong.

2:18:32 > 2:18:35She's got the walk of shame back up here. It's not really the walk...

2:18:35 > 2:18:39Oh, no! She almost goes down.

2:18:39 > 2:18:43- That's so funny, Team Austria... - He's trying to push her now.

2:18:49 > 2:18:51Oh, my goodness.

2:18:51 > 2:18:53What is going on?

2:18:53 > 2:18:55Quick, Anna, get to the top!

2:18:55 > 2:18:57That was you...that was you, that was one of your bits.

2:18:57 > 2:18:59- That was you?- That was me, yeah.

2:18:59 > 2:19:00How embarrassing.

2:19:00 > 2:19:04That wasn't me falling, that was me screaming and talking overly loud.

2:19:04 > 2:19:07Screaming and talking very well, though. Very entertaining it was.

2:19:07 > 2:19:09Now, I've been watching the Winter Olympics long

2:19:09 > 2:19:12since...long before Aimee was born, since I was a tiny boy.

2:19:12 > 2:19:14In all that time, there is one athlete

2:19:14 > 2:19:16who has always been my favourite.

2:19:20 > 2:19:23He won the 1976 downhill gold at Innsbruck with the most

2:19:23 > 2:19:25famous ski run of all time.

2:19:25 > 2:19:28Bill, you'll recognise this, I'm sure.

2:19:28 > 2:19:33- It's Klammer.- Absolutely etched into my memory, 1976.

2:19:33 > 2:19:37I was 11 years old, this is the most exciting run, I think,

2:19:37 > 2:19:38I've ever seen.

2:19:38 > 2:19:41- Fantastic!- Absolutely fantastic!

2:19:41 > 2:19:43APPLAUSE

2:19:43 > 2:19:46It's the great Franz Klammer and by the miracle of Skype,

2:19:46 > 2:19:48he can join us now.

2:19:48 > 2:19:50Franz Klammer, ladies and gentlemen!

2:19:50 > 2:19:53APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:19:56 > 2:19:58Franz, thank you so much for joining us.

2:19:58 > 2:20:01It's a great honour to speak to you. Where are you now, are you in Sochi?

2:20:01 > 2:20:02Or at home?

2:20:02 > 2:20:03No, I just came back home.

2:20:03 > 2:20:07I was in Sochi and I was very impressed by the Olympics

2:20:07 > 2:20:11but now I'm back home and relaxing and watch everything from TV.

2:20:11 > 2:20:12Oh, that's fantastic.

2:20:12 > 2:20:16So, now, back in your day, when you were racing the Olympics, you

2:20:16 > 2:20:20were 22 years old, the commentator said you were right on the edge.

2:20:20 > 2:20:21Was that the Klammer way?

2:20:23 > 2:20:25Yeah, the way of skiing, I was waving to the crowd,

2:20:25 > 2:20:28you know, you have to be friendly while you go down.

2:20:28 > 2:20:29LAUGHTER

2:20:29 > 2:20:32So, the Klammer way, do you continue that into other things?

2:20:32 > 2:20:34Do you play golf the Klammer way?

2:20:34 > 2:20:37Usually, I go a little bit wide, that's true.

2:20:37 > 2:20:39HE LAUGHS

2:20:39 > 2:20:43But I slow down later on, yes.

2:20:43 > 2:20:46Now, I read somewhere that you said something about modern day

2:20:46 > 2:20:50downhill, you think of it slightly sanitised.

2:20:50 > 2:20:53It's a bit too businesslike? Is that what you think about it these days?

2:20:53 > 2:20:55Was it more fun in your day?

2:20:55 > 2:20:58I think we had more fun because we were amateurs.

2:20:58 > 2:21:02We were not responsible for anybody but us

2:21:02 > 2:21:06so we had a big camaraderie and we tried to beat each other

2:21:06 > 2:21:08but after that, we were partying together

2:21:08 > 2:21:11and we were hanging out together and we just did everything together.

2:21:11 > 2:21:15That was the fun thing but now it's very much,

2:21:15 > 2:21:19big guys fly in by helicopter and fly out by helicopter.

2:21:19 > 2:21:24They don't share the passion, they don't share the fun of the sport.

2:21:24 > 2:21:27We've got one of the...Aimee Fuller here,

2:21:27 > 2:21:29one of the Team GB snowboarders.

2:21:29 > 2:21:33Do you think if you were a young guy now, might you be a snowboarder?

2:21:33 > 2:21:35Do you think that's where the fun is?

2:21:35 > 2:21:36HE LAUGHS

2:21:36 > 2:21:39I think the snowboarders have a lot of fun

2:21:39 > 2:21:42and the new sports is great to watch and you can see there is a big

2:21:42 > 2:21:45camaraderie, like in the old days in skiing.

2:21:45 > 2:21:49Yeah, but I like my two sticks,

2:21:49 > 2:21:53two boards...I like to be on the two boards and I think I could do,

2:21:53 > 2:21:56or can do much better with skis than with snowboard.

2:21:56 > 2:21:59I tried it and it was not really my sport.

2:21:59 > 2:22:00LAUGHTER

2:22:00 > 2:22:02Speed is very much your thing.

2:22:02 > 2:22:04Can I ask you about Matthias Mayer,

2:22:04 > 2:22:07he's won the downhill gold this time around, the Austrian skier.

2:22:07 > 2:22:09Hasn't won a race for years,

2:22:09 > 2:22:12suddenly produces the performance of his life.

2:22:12 > 2:22:14Gave the Brits hope, actually.

2:22:14 > 2:22:15What did you make of Mayer's run?

2:22:17 > 2:22:20Yeah, I think that was the gutsy performance of the day

2:22:20 > 2:22:24because he was close to being a favourite

2:22:24 > 2:22:27but Matthias Mayer did everything right, he was the most

2:22:27 > 2:22:32consistent guy on the mountain and he was gutsy enough to go for it.

2:22:32 > 2:22:36That's the most important thing in the Olympics.

2:22:36 > 2:22:39Many people, they are up there and they don't dare to go for it

2:22:39 > 2:22:41and that's what you have to do to win.

2:22:41 > 2:22:45People here in the UK still talk about your great win in '76.

2:22:45 > 2:22:46Not the skiing, of course,

2:22:46 > 2:22:50but when you beat Kevin Keegan in the Superstars cycling!

2:22:50 > 2:22:51LAUGHTER

2:22:51 > 2:22:54That was a lot of fun because that was dangerous.

2:22:54 > 2:22:58We did the cycling on clay, on a 400 metre circle.

2:22:58 > 2:23:01So, that was actually very dangerous and Keegan crashed there.

2:23:01 > 2:23:04- So, that's why, probably, I won.- Yeah.

2:23:04 > 2:23:08Well, he slid on the cinder track and hurt himself quite badly.

2:23:08 > 2:23:11Yes, yes. I do remember.

2:23:11 > 2:23:12LAUGHING

2:23:12 > 2:23:14It was so hot, I couldn't stand the heat

2:23:14 > 2:23:16because I'm used to cold in Austria, the snow and everything

2:23:16 > 2:23:18and I come over there and it was incredibly hot

2:23:18 > 2:23:22and to compete against Keegan but it was a lot, a lot of fun.

2:23:22 > 2:23:25Then he got back on his bike and then you beat him in the re-run.

2:23:25 > 2:23:27So, well done, again.

2:23:27 > 2:23:28LAUGHTER

2:23:28 > 2:23:30Well, Franz, thank you so much for taking the time to join us.

2:23:30 > 2:23:33- You're welcome.- Franz Klammer, ladies and gentlemen.

2:23:33 > 2:23:35APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:23:39 > 2:23:41Franz Klammer there.

2:23:41 > 2:23:43Bill and I enjoyed that a little bit, didn't we?

2:23:43 > 2:23:45- The Kaiser! - The Kaiser Franz.

2:23:45 > 2:23:47It was fantastic! It's true, skiing was like that.

2:23:47 > 2:23:49I remember, when I was skiing and I went on a school trip,

2:23:49 > 2:23:54there was no health and safety, there was no helmets, there was no-one looking out for you.

2:23:54 > 2:23:56You just went in jeans and a jumper,

2:23:56 > 2:24:00you know, and the teachers were all pissed most of the time.

2:24:00 > 2:24:02Fling yourself down!

2:24:02 > 2:24:03Absolutely right.

2:24:03 > 2:24:06Now, look, it's day seven of the Sochi Winter Olympics

2:24:06 > 2:24:09and life in the confines of the village is beginning to get

2:24:09 > 2:24:10some people down a bit.

2:24:10 > 2:24:14One Russian snowboarder, Alexey Sobolev, thought he'd liven things

2:24:14 > 2:24:17up a bit by putting his mobile phone number on the side of his helmet.

2:24:17 > 2:24:19LAUGHTER

2:24:19 > 2:24:21Now, the understanding is he was trying to get some female

2:24:21 > 2:24:24attention or maybe he didn't understand the Olympic rules.

2:24:24 > 2:24:26Maybe he thought it was a vote to save,

2:24:26 > 2:24:31"To keep Alexey in the competition, call 79250...etc, etc."

2:24:31 > 2:24:32Another Russian this week

2:24:32 > 2:24:36broke a ski in the men's cross-country sprint final.

2:24:36 > 2:24:40And the Canadian coach ran out to give him a replacement ski.

2:24:40 > 2:24:42There he is doing that, explaining why he did it.

2:24:42 > 2:24:43The Canadian said,

2:24:43 > 2:24:47"It was like watching an animal stuck in a trap."

2:24:47 > 2:24:49Being Canadian, I'm surprised he didn't club him over the head

2:24:49 > 2:24:51and wear him as a coat.

2:24:51 > 2:24:52- Is that right, Katherine? - LAUGHTER

2:24:52 > 2:24:55- Yeah.- It's probably what you would have expected him to do.

2:24:55 > 2:24:57Yeah, I got fired from my first waitressing job

2:24:57 > 2:24:59- for joking about that.- Did you?

2:24:59 > 2:25:03Yeah, I put on the sandwich board, "Club sandwich is not seals." Fired!

2:25:03 > 2:25:05Fired?

2:25:05 > 2:25:07- LAUGHTER - That's harsh.

2:25:07 > 2:25:09I know! They take it very seriously.

2:25:10 > 2:25:15Now, he's not the only team coach in the news.

2:25:15 > 2:25:20This is the Japanese coach for the men's moguls. There he is there.

2:25:20 > 2:25:23That is him. That's actually a scarf, I think.

2:25:23 > 2:25:25He's very excited about his team's performance.

2:25:25 > 2:25:26At least, I think he was.

2:25:26 > 2:25:28Either that or he was coughing up a fur ball.

2:25:28 > 2:25:29LAUGHTER

2:25:29 > 2:25:31And here's one for toy, Else, the Norwegian curling team.

2:25:31 > 2:25:33I love this shot, there they are.

2:25:33 > 2:25:35Yes!

2:25:35 > 2:25:37- LAUGHTER - Wow!

2:25:37 > 2:25:40You didn't know that but they're actually our barbershop group.

2:25:40 > 2:25:42They're just about to sing.

2:25:42 > 2:25:45No, it's the Norwegian look when they see the curling field,

2:25:45 > 2:25:48it's almost like an icy catwalk.

2:25:48 > 2:25:50So, you always have to look the best.

2:25:50 > 2:25:52So, fashion is a big thing?

2:25:52 > 2:25:54It's hard to be cool holding a mop though, ain't it?

2:25:54 > 2:25:57They may look a little embarrassing but none of them is Lee Ryan,

2:25:57 > 2:25:59so they're still winning.

2:25:59 > 2:26:02Well, there they are, there's the Norwegian curling team.

2:26:02 > 2:26:05Now, anyway, it's actually official now,

2:26:05 > 2:26:08forget your downhill skiing, forget your freestyle snowboarding,

2:26:08 > 2:26:10curling is the sexiest winter sport.

2:26:10 > 2:26:12And how do I know that?

2:26:12 > 2:26:15Because I've got my copy of this year's Men of Curling calendar.

2:26:15 > 2:26:17AUDIENCE: Whoop, whoop!

2:26:17 > 2:26:19There's the cover star, there he is.

2:26:19 > 2:26:22Don't you hate that, when you leave your curling man outside over night

2:26:22 > 2:26:25and when you come back, he's up on bricks.

2:26:25 > 2:26:26LAUGHTER

2:26:26 > 2:26:30But even better than the cover man, this is Mr May!

2:26:30 > 2:26:32- Wow!- Oh, no, no...

2:26:32 > 2:26:34Don't look down, don't look down!

2:26:34 > 2:26:38- He's in quiet good shape. - Isn't he a Canadian?

2:26:38 > 2:26:42- No?- No.- He is Canadian, he is. - That isn't right.

2:26:42 > 2:26:44It looks like a table decoration.

2:26:44 > 2:26:45LAUGHTER

2:26:45 > 2:26:48Could do with losing a couple of stone...couple of stone!

2:26:48 > 2:26:50LAUGHTER

2:26:50 > 2:26:52Hey, I see what you did there.

2:26:52 > 2:26:53LAUGHTER

2:26:53 > 2:26:56We're nearly out of time. Katherine, thank you so much for coming.

2:26:56 > 2:26:58What do the Canadians make of us Brits

2:26:58 > 2:27:01- and our Winter Olympics efforts? - We love you.

2:27:01 > 2:27:03I mean, we have a saying in Canada, "It's not the taking part

2:27:03 > 2:27:05"but the winning that counts."

2:27:05 > 2:27:07LAUGHTER

2:27:07 > 2:27:09Ouch, and in Norway, what's the view, would you say?

2:27:09 > 2:27:12Erm, we like the Spice Girls.

2:27:12 > 2:27:14Baby Spice, Ginger Spice, Scary Spice

2:27:14 > 2:27:18but maybe not your skiing but we like Piccadilly Circus in London.

2:27:20 > 2:27:21Yes.

2:27:21 > 2:27:23Bill, if there was one sport you could

2:27:23 > 2:27:25try from the Winter Olympics, anything taken your eye this week?

2:27:25 > 2:27:27Yeah, the one thing I really want to do

2:27:27 > 2:27:29is the skiing and the shooting thing.

2:27:29 > 2:27:33I think that looks just proper. That's brilliant.

2:27:33 > 2:27:38That's like, you know, real, outdoor sports, you know?

2:27:38 > 2:27:40None of this ice dancing.

2:27:40 > 2:27:44- Where would be your ideal venue? - In the West Country somewhere. - LAUGHTER

2:27:44 > 2:27:46- Bristol town centre? - Somewhere like that, yeah.

2:27:46 > 2:27:49Somewhere where you could just ski and then punch an animal.

2:27:49 > 2:27:51LAUGHTER

2:27:51 > 2:27:53Thank you so much! Thank you to all my guests.

2:27:53 > 2:27:56Thank you, Katherine Ryan, Else Kass Furuseth, Aimee Fuller

2:27:56 > 2:27:57and Bill Bailey!

2:27:57 > 2:28:01APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

2:28:03 > 2:28:04You know what?

2:28:04 > 2:28:08Seeing Lizzy Yarnold win the skeleton gold has inspired me.

2:28:08 > 2:28:10After all, how hard can it be?

2:28:10 > 2:28:12APPLAUSE

2:28:17 > 2:28:20There we go. I'm so stoked.

2:28:24 > 2:28:26Where's the steering wheel?

2:28:26 > 2:28:28What a week it's been!

2:28:28 > 2:28:30By the way, our best Winter Olympics was back in 1924,

2:28:30 > 2:28:32when we won four medals, including

2:28:32 > 2:28:34ones for one for lighting a pipe in an Arctic wind,

2:28:34 > 2:28:37- calling for help without starting an avalanche... - LAUGHTER

2:28:37 > 2:28:40Yesterday, British speed-skater Elise Christie crashed out in

2:28:40 > 2:28:44the 500 metres by going straight on, when everyone else was turning left.

2:28:44 > 2:28:46Next week, she'll be going in the 1,000 metres

2:28:46 > 2:28:48and we'll all be rooting for her.

2:28:48 > 2:28:51Just one word, Elise, corners!

2:28:51 > 2:28:53I do love the Winter Olympics but it has struck me

2:28:53 > 2:28:56this week that's a lot of these sports would be improved

2:28:56 > 2:28:59if there was another person involved trying to stop you doing it.

2:28:59 > 2:29:02This would be even more fun if there was someone behind trying to overtake.

2:29:02 > 2:29:03LAUGHTER

2:29:03 > 2:29:06Or in the biathlon, they could have someone shooting back.

2:29:06 > 2:29:07LAUGHTER

2:29:07 > 2:29:10Cross-country skiing, angry bears in the woods.

2:29:10 > 2:29:14Classical music's Vanessa-Mae will be skiing this week for Thailand.

2:29:14 > 2:29:16If she wins, she can play the national anthem by herself.

2:29:16 > 2:29:20If she loses, just a bit of sad violin music.

2:29:20 > 2:29:21LAUGHTER

2:29:21 > 2:29:25In the world rankings, Vanessa-Mae is currently at number 2,253,

2:29:25 > 2:29:27two places above Bill Bailey.

2:29:27 > 2:29:29CHEERING

2:29:29 > 2:29:33On Monday, Jamaica will be competing in the two-man bob and given the

2:29:33 > 2:29:37- weather they're having in Sochi, all of a sudden they're the favourites. - LAUGHTER

2:29:37 > 2:29:38I'm loving this ride.

2:29:38 > 2:29:40I hear that on the corners in skeleton,

2:29:40 > 2:29:43competitors can experience 4G,

2:29:43 > 2:29:47which means I can update my status on the way down.

2:29:47 > 2:29:49I'm ripping the lid off it!

2:29:49 > 2:29:51LAUGHTER

2:29:51 > 2:29:53That's all from Apres-ski for this week.

2:29:53 > 2:29:56I'm Alan Davies, see you next Friday. Good night!

2:29:56 > 2:29:58APPLAUSE AND CHEERING