Part 1

:00:21. > :00:29.Are you ready?! Sport Relief is back. It's funnier. More

:00:29. > :00:39.entertaining. Strictly is going underwater.

:00:39. > :00:45.

:00:46. > :00:51.They're a boy band from Benidorm. It's sportier. It's louder.

:00:51. > :00:56.And it's downright sexier than ever before.

:00:56. > :01:06.And kicking things off tonight, please welcome your hosts, Gary

:01:06. > :01:30.

:01:30. > :01:38.Lineker and Claudia Winkleman! Well, it's loud in here! I know, my

:01:38. > :01:45.little ears. Your ears?! Please, please. Here we go. Good evening

:01:45. > :01:50.everyone and welcome to Sport Relief 2012! Hello. This evening

:01:50. > :01:54.promises to be amazing. We have got funny stuff, sporty stuff, funny

:01:54. > :01:58.sporty stuff, some brilliant music, plus a few surprises. We also have

:01:58. > :02:08.some remarkable and moving films about people who you can really

:02:08. > :02:18.help tonight. Before all of that, please go nuts for LMFAO, featuring

:02:18. > :02:18.

:02:18. > :03:30.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 71 seconds

:03:30. > :03:33.# And we gon' make you # We just want to see

:03:33. > :03:43.# Get up, get down # Put your hands up

:03:43. > :03:58.

:03:58. > :04:08.# Get up, put down # And we gon' make you

:04:08. > :04:41.

:04:41. > :04:51.# Everybody just have # When I walk on by, girls be

:04:51. > :04:52.

:04:52. > :05:02.# This is how I roll, animal print # And like Bruce Leroy

:05:02. > :05:12.

:05:12. > :05:15.# When I walk in the spot # Everybody stops

:05:15. > :05:19.# I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

:05:19. > :05:22.# # Show it, show it, show it

:05:22. > :05:30.# I'm sexy and I know it

:05:30. > :05:38.# I'm sexy and I know it

:05:38. > :05:48.# When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight them off

:05:48. > :05:50.

:05:50. > :05:54.# Do the wiggle man

:05:54. > :06:04.# Yeah, I'm sexy and I know it

:06:04. > :06:09.

:06:09. > :06:09.APPLAUSE

:06:09. > :06:10.APPLAUSE AND

:06:10. > :06:12.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING.

:06:12. > :06:12.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING. Thank

:06:12. > :06:12.Thank you

:06:12. > :06:13.Thank you guys.

:06:13. > :06:16.Thank you guys. That

:06:16. > :06:20.Thank you guys. That was a lot of people having a very good time in

:06:20. > :06:23.their pants, but tonight is not just about semi-clad celebrities,

:06:23. > :06:27.although there is a little bit of that. More about that indeed later.

:06:27. > :06:30.This evening is all about raising money, so please, please do make a

:06:30. > :06:34.donation because you can really change people's lives. In return,

:06:34. > :06:39.we will try and give you the show of your lives, to explain why

:06:39. > :06:42.tonight is so important, let's hand over to Mr Swoon, David Beckham.

:06:42. > :06:46.Your support over the years has helped uz change lives here in the

:06:46. > :06:52.UK and all over the world. But there's a lot more we can do. Take

:06:52. > :06:57.a look at this film. It's why we are here tonight.

:06:57. > :07:02.So many kids in here, they're all not well.

:07:02. > :07:08.It's the most appalling thing I have ever seen.

:07:08. > :07:13.A lot of -- little kids shouldn't be doing this. Even now I don't

:07:13. > :07:17.understand why he can't come back. My biggest hope is that a child is

:07:17. > :07:22.strong enough to run and love. like looking at a ghost of somebody

:07:22. > :07:27.that used to be there, he is rocking and crying. She is a

:07:27. > :07:37.beautiful 11-year-old girl and has to face this every day. Welcome to

:07:37. > :07:40.

:07:40. > :07:44.It's impossible for any parent to not be here and have your your

:07:44. > :07:54.heart ripped out. It's unimaginable that any child

:07:54. > :08:24.

:08:24. > :08:28.Today you could change someone's Every pound you give tonight will

:08:28. > :08:32.be be spent here in the UK or the world's poor he is countries.

:08:32. > :08:37.Tonight you can change lives. Together we can change lives.

:08:37. > :08:41.Please call 03457 910 910. Thank you.

:08:41. > :08:45.We know times are tough and you have been truly astonishing in your

:08:45. > :08:49.support so far, but please could you be truly astonishing one more

:08:49. > :08:54.time? Your help and kindness is desperately needed. It couldn't be

:08:54. > :08:59.simpler. The number is 03457 910 910. Please pick up the phone and

:08:59. > :09:04.give what you can spare. Standard geographic charges from landlines

:09:04. > :09:07.and mobiles will apply. You can also donate on the web. Go to

:09:07. > :09:12.bbc.co.uk/Sport Relief. Or take your money to any bank, building

:09:12. > :09:21.society or local post office and also write a cheque made payable to

:09:21. > :09:24.Sport Relief. And send it to: We would also love it if would you

:09:24. > :09:29.let us claim Gift Aid and to explain more, please welcome one of

:09:29. > :09:34.the biggest names in international sport. For years he was rarely off

:09:34. > :09:36.the front and back pages. Then he suddenly disappeared, leaving us

:09:36. > :09:40.wondering where where he had vanished to. We managed to track

:09:40. > :09:50.him down. Please welcome fresh from his holidays, former England

:09:50. > :09:54.

:09:54. > :10:01.manager Fabio Capello. APPLAUSE.

:10:01. > :10:09.Hello, Fabio. You look marvellous. Tell the group where have you been?

:10:09. > :10:17.Well, I have... LAUGHTER. I have been on my vacation holidays,

:10:17. > :10:22.classy, we go to Magaluf, larging it up big time. Saveloy. What can

:10:22. > :10:25.you do? I wanted to come back to England to say thank you and

:10:25. > :10:30.goodbye and no hard feelings, things like that.

:10:30. > :10:39.No hard feelings whatsoever. Of course, you also want to explain

:10:39. > :10:43.Gift Aid to us. That's true, strangely big-eared fella. When you

:10:43. > :10:51.phone up tonight and ask if you want to claim Gift Aid on your

:10:51. > :10:55.donation make sure that you say yes. This means the taxman fella give

:10:55. > :10:59.extra 25p of every single pound you donating tonight. OK. What you are

:10:59. > :11:07.saying, if you like, is the cocktail is like the �1 and the

:11:07. > :11:15.Gift Aid is the 25p cherry on top? Yes, if you like, beautiful dark-

:11:16. > :11:25.haired Bonnie lady. Now I am going and never coming back. Thank you so

:11:26. > :11:26.

:11:26. > :11:32.much. Thank you very much. Fabio Capello! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING.

:11:32. > :11:35.Great stuff. He will be missed. Much missed. We have an absolute

:11:35. > :11:39.jam-packed night lined up for you, including things like this. Coming

:11:39. > :11:46.up on Sport Relief: Ballroom dancing goes to new depths.

:11:46. > :11:50.Strictly is going underwater. sailor! Miranda gets to grips with

:11:50. > :11:53.the heavyweights. I think you have been eating too many crisps. Some

:11:53. > :11:57.Absolutely Fabulous comedy. This is Kate. Who in the world doesn't

:11:57. > :12:01.though who you are? The amount of time you have been around. Frank

:12:01. > :12:05.and Christine get The Outnumbered treatment. This is my mum, she

:12:05. > :12:08.fancies you. No, I don't! England football stars take on the omelette

:12:08. > :12:13.challenge. This is the first omelette I have ever tasted that's

:12:13. > :12:22.burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. Hopefuls from Benidorm on

:12:22. > :12:30.Britain's Got Talent. Who are you? Lost Chorizo. Music from JLS, Emily

:12:30. > :12:34.Sande and Snow Patrol and so much more.

:12:34. > :12:39.Don't miss a single second. Please, please stay with us. We all know

:12:39. > :12:42.the best bit about Saturday mornings is Saturday Kitchen.

:12:42. > :12:46.Sorry. The best bit about Saturday Kitchen is the omelette challenge.

:12:46. > :12:50.Correct. And the best bit about Sport Relief is when we asked the

:12:50. > :13:00.England football team to take on this culinary battle and they said.

:13:00. > :13:04.

:13:04. > :13:06.I'm in Watford, at the HQ as they prepare

:13:06. > :13:09.But for some of the players, they face their ultimate test today -

:13:09. > :13:12.it's the Saturday Kitchen Sport Relief Omelette Challenge.

:13:12. > :13:14.Theo Walcott is lightning quick with a football,

:13:14. > :13:16.but will he be as fast with an omelette pan?

:13:16. > :13:18.Glen Johnson - a no-nonsense defender,

:13:18. > :13:22.but can he tackle this basic recipe?

:13:22. > :13:25.Robert Green - unbeatable in goal,

:13:25. > :13:30.but will he be able to beat those eggs into shape?

:13:30. > :13:33.And Scott Parker - a natural leader on the pitch,

:13:33. > :13:35.but can he take command at the hobs?

:13:35. > :13:38.OK, guys, thanks for joining us.

:13:38. > :13:39.The rules of the game are very simple.

:13:39. > :13:41.A three-egg omelette, cooked as fast as you can.

:13:41. > :13:43.The clock stops when the omelette hits the plate,

:13:43. > :13:44.it starts when I blow the whistle.

:13:44. > :13:46.This is two semi-finals to start off with,

:13:46. > :13:48.and then a final, the winner of which will win this coveted prize -

:13:48. > :13:53.the Saturday Kitchen Sport Relief Omelette Challenge trophy.

:13:53. > :13:54.Scott Parker, Glen Johnson, I want you to go first.

:13:55. > :13:57.Robert Green, Theo Walcott, you're second.

:13:57. > :14:01.Are you feeling confident? No. No?

:14:01. > :14:02.When was the last time you made an omelette.

:14:02. > :14:05.This is the first time, mate. Right, OK. Scott, what about you?

:14:05. > :14:11.You're looking confident. Yeah, looks... Yeah, not really. No!

:14:11. > :14:15.Right, three eggs. Be careful of the shells. Are you ready?

:14:15. > :14:16.Three, two, one...

:14:16. > :14:19.WHISTLE

:14:19. > :14:23.There's a lot of shell in that. There's a bit of shell in it.

:14:23. > :14:26.You're done, you're done, you're done, go, go, go!

:14:26. > :14:28.Bit of this, now, a touch of that. A bit of this.

:14:28. > :14:32.He's chucked a bit of salt in! Why is the butter going brown?!

:14:32. > :14:35.Don't go too hard on it, just gently, gently.

:14:35. > :14:37.It's looking good for your first omelette, though.

:14:37. > :14:40.Remember, it's got to be a cooked omelette.

:14:40. > :14:44.Glen, I think that's dead, you can put it on the plate, now.

:14:44. > :14:45.I need a spatula!

:14:45. > :14:46.There you go.

:14:47. > :14:50.Yeah, well, it's not bad.

:14:50. > :14:51.GONG

:14:51. > :14:54.APPLAUSE

:14:54. > :14:56.This is where we get to taste these things.

:14:56. > :14:59.How do you feel about this, do you think you could have improved it?

:14:59. > :15:02.Yeah, just a bit.

:15:02. > :15:06.Quite a lot of salt, isn't it? Right, let's have a look on here.

:15:06. > :15:09.This is the first omelette I've ever tasted

:15:09. > :15:13.that burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.

:15:13. > :15:19.Scott Parker, you did it in one minute, ten seconds.

:15:19. > :15:25.Glen Johnson, you did it in one minute...and one second.

:15:25. > :15:26.Which means you go through to the final.

:15:26. > :15:31.I'll take that. Take that one.

:15:31. > :15:35.When was the last time you made an omelette? Erm, about a week ago.

:15:35. > :15:37.A week ago? A Spanish omelette.

:15:37. > :15:40.A Spanish omelette. He's thinking of recipes now.

:15:40. > :15:41.Robert, and you? I ain't got a cooker.

:15:41. > :15:45.You haven't even got a cooker? Do you know what that is?

:15:45. > :15:48.It's hot.

:15:48. > :15:51.Three, two, one...

:15:51. > :15:53.WHISTLE

:15:53. > :15:56.Not a good start, there, Theo, is it?

:15:56. > :16:06.No, it's not great, it's not great.

:16:06. > :16:07.

:16:07. > :16:10.Get it in the pan, Theo. I don't want to yet. That's not working.

:16:10. > :16:12.The concentration on your face, Robert.

:16:12. > :16:15.I'm all over this. This is looking decent.

:16:15. > :16:21.A bit of cheese on there to tempt the judge?

:16:21. > :16:24.Oh, we've got an omelette there. That's it.

:16:25. > :16:26.GONG

:16:26. > :16:28.It's done.

:16:28. > :16:34.Shall we taste this one first?

:16:34. > :16:40.Tastes really good as well, quite nutty.

:16:40. > :16:45.With the cheese in there it tastes not too bad, nicely seasoned.

:16:45. > :16:48.Theo Walcott, quick on your feet,

:16:48. > :16:50.not so quick with your hands, are you? No, no.

:16:50. > :16:51.1.25.

:16:51. > :16:55.Robert, I think in the final you might have to speed up,

:16:55. > :16:57.but you are through,

:16:57. > :16:59.you did it in one minute, 12 seconds.

:16:59. > :17:03.Still, pretty respectable time. So there you have it.

:17:03. > :17:10.The final, Robert Green versus Glen- Johnson. Let the battle commence.

:17:10. > :17:12.OK, guys, this is it, this is the final.

:17:12. > :17:15.Glen Johnson and Robert Green, over here, let's go for it now.

:17:15. > :17:18.This means a lot to the nation. Are you ready?

:17:18. > :17:20.Three, two, one...

:17:20. > :17:25.WHISTLE

:17:25. > :17:29.You're getting quicker now you're on your second one.

:17:29. > :17:30.I'm used to this.

:17:30. > :17:34.Swirl the butter around the pan, get it in as quickly as possible.

:17:34. > :17:38.Swirl it around, stop it from sticking, straight in.

:17:38. > :17:43.This is the thing. Both level pegging at this point.

:17:43. > :17:46.Have you just switched his gas off?

:17:46. > :17:50.THEY LAUGH

:17:50. > :17:54.You just switched his gas off!

:17:54. > :17:57.I don't mind foul play, but turning- his heat off is another thing.

:17:57. > :18:01.That's it, I still think you can beat him, just draw the eggs away.

:18:01. > :18:04.GONG

:18:04. > :18:08.A bit of a round of applause, there. Two decent omelettes.

:18:08. > :18:10.APPLAUSE

:18:10. > :18:16.This is a pretty good omelette. Better than your first attempt.

:18:16. > :18:20.Could do with a little bit more seasoning.

:18:20. > :18:26.Glen. Choose a good bit. It all looks pretty good to me.

:18:26. > :18:29.Unfortunately, what you did was inexcusable, with the gas,

:18:29. > :18:33.so for that, you're getting a straight red.

:18:33. > :18:37.A straight red for that, which means our winner,

:18:37. > :18:41.with a time of one minute, 25 seconds, you are the winner

:18:41. > :18:45.of the Saturday Kitchen Sport Relief Omelettes Challenge of 2012.

:18:45. > :18:49.Glen Johnson, you are our champion.

:18:49. > :18:50.APPLAUSE

:18:50. > :18:55.How does it feel to win a competition such as this,

:18:55. > :18:57.and to win something as exclusive

:18:57. > :18:58.as our trophy that you are holding there?

:18:58. > :18:58.It's fantastic.

:18:58. > :19:00.It's the first trophy I've ever won cooking an omelette,

:19:00. > :19:01.so I'm over the moon.

:19:01. > :19:04.Commiserations, Robert. Commiserations to our runners-up.

:19:04. > :19:14.But congratulations, ladies and gentlemen, go to Glen Johnson.

:19:14. > :19:26.

:19:26. > :19:26.Top

:19:26. > :19:28.Top effort.

:19:28. > :19:33.Top effort. Toll

:19:33. > :19:37.Top effort. Toll done Glen Johnson and good luck to England in the

:19:37. > :19:42.euros and we take this opportunity to wish Fabrice Muamba a fast and

:19:42. > :19:46.full recovery. APPLAUSE. Now 50% of the money you donate

:19:46. > :19:50.tonight will be spent right here in the UK on a project near you.

:19:50. > :20:00.Billie Piper went to meet a family in Norwich who really needed help.

:20:00. > :20:28.

:20:28. > :20:31.Mark was killed in a motorbike accident and his family's life was

:20:31. > :20:37.torn apart. What things did you used to do with your dad? We liked

:20:37. > :20:42.going swimming. Keen swimmers. liked going on trampoline with

:20:43. > :20:47.daddy. We got on his back and he jumped.

:20:47. > :20:54.Rough and tumble. I miss playing games with him and going out

:20:54. > :20:59.together. Mark's wife Louise didn't just have to cope with her own

:20:59. > :21:07.grief, but also face up to life as a single parent and guide three

:21:07. > :21:12.vulnerable little girls through their own heartache and sadness.

:21:12. > :21:22.Any of the girls will say why can't he just give me one more kiss? Why

:21:22. > :21:23.

:21:24. > :21:33.can't he say goodbye to me? Even now they want him to come back.

:21:34. > :21:46.

:21:46. > :21:51.They don't understand why he can't Georgie, Ashley and Serena will

:21:51. > :21:56.never forget their dad. But your money can help support them as they

:21:56. > :22:00.used to life without him. The best thing that's taken them away to

:22:00. > :22:06.places is that they meet other children in the same situation. I

:22:06. > :22:10.think that helped the girls a lot. This project, supported by Sport

:22:10. > :22:17.Relief, helps bereaved children and parents work through their pain

:22:17. > :22:23.together. I have been here today and witnessed firsthand how

:22:23. > :22:30.important these organisations are and how much they help.

:22:30. > :22:40.I am lighting a candle for my dad. I miss him lots and lots. I am

:22:40. > :22:46.

:22:46. > :22:56.lighting my candle for my dad, and Your money really does make a

:22:56. > :23:10.

:23:10. > :23:19.difference and is helping to Please call now. Your money will

:23:19. > :23:29.help support children like Georgie, Ashley and Serena. 03457 910 910.

:23:29. > :23:32.Or go online and give what you can. Thank you.

:23:32. > :23:37.It's heart-breaking stuff but you can see that project really does

:23:37. > :23:43.help those little girls and their mum come to terms with their loss.

:23:43. > :23:46.�30 buys a counselling session for three children, �180 pays for a

:23:46. > :23:52.child to go to a residential camp like the one we have seen T really

:23:52. > :23:56.works, it really makes a difference. Help us to help them. Please call

:23:56. > :24:00.03457 910 910. Or donate online. Now a huge well

:24:00. > :24:06.done to all the brilliant kids out there who have been doing fantastic

:24:06. > :24:10.things raising all sorts of money for Sport Relief. To find out more

:24:10. > :24:15.we sent Football Focus's Dan Walker on a mission with a help from two

:24:15. > :24:18.of the biggest footballing superstars.

:24:18. > :24:22.Most dedicated fundraisers can be found in thousands of schools,

:24:22. > :24:25.they've been getting active and raising mountains of cash for Sport

:24:25. > :24:28.Relief. What we thought we would do is come to one of those

:24:28. > :24:32.superschools and give them a treat that will hopefully they'll never

:24:32. > :24:35.forget. I have been sent here to say thank you to all of you for the

:24:35. > :24:41.money you have raised. As a reward we are going to take you on a

:24:41. > :24:45.special school trip. Little do they know but I am about

:24:46. > :24:55.to take them to Manchester United's training ground to meet two genuine

:24:56. > :24:56.

:24:56. > :25:05.football stars, Wayne Rooney and Hello, we've heard all the stuff

:25:05. > :25:15.So we're here, me and Wayne, If we lose, there's going

:25:15. > :25:15.

:25:15. > :25:58.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 71 seconds

:25:58. > :26:02.If we lose, there's going A massive thank you to all the kids

:26:02. > :26:06.at Harris Primary School and to Dan and Rio and Wayne and thanks to all

:26:06. > :26:10.the school children who have run the mile today. You are brilliant!

:26:10. > :26:14.While we are on the subject, if you haven't entered the mile on Sunday

:26:14. > :26:23.look at our website. Now it's time, it's Strictly Come Dancing

:26:23. > :26:25.They fought the battle for the Now, at the world-famous

:26:25. > :26:26.Harry and Chelsee dance head to head

:26:26. > :26:27.like you've never seen them before.

:26:27. > :26:30.This is Strictly Come Dancing Underwater...

:26:30. > :26:33.for Sport Relief.

:26:33. > :26:38.APPLAUSE

:26:38. > :26:41.Hello, and welcome to this very special edition

:26:41. > :26:42.of Strictly Come Dancing.

:26:42. > :26:45.This is, quite frankly, one of the most bonkers things

:26:45. > :26:47.we have ever attempted for Sport Relief.

:26:47. > :26:50.Strictly is going underwater.

:26:50. > :26:52.We have built our very own ballroom

:26:52. > :26:55.and submerged it into that tank

:26:55. > :26:58.and in just a moment, our couples will dance

:26:58. > :27:01.on that very watery stage.

:27:01. > :27:03.They've filmed scenes from Pirates Of The Caribbean

:27:03. > :27:05.and James Bond IN that tank.

:27:05. > :27:08.Talking of suave, sophisticated leading men,

:27:08. > :27:11.here's four who certainly won't be shaken or stirred.

:27:11. > :27:14.It's the Strictly judges! Wey-hey-hey!

:27:14. > :27:16.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:27:16. > :27:19.Please welcome Craig Revel Horwood,- Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli

:27:19. > :27:22.and our special guest judge - it's Olympic swimmer

:27:22. > :27:25.and former Strictly contestant, Mark Foster!

:27:25. > :27:28.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:27:28. > :27:30.Ahoy there, boys. Yes.

:27:30. > :27:33.Ahoy. You all look so sweet. You look about seven.

:27:33. > :27:38.Aw. Len...if I can call you Captain- Len? Captain Len? Yes, please.

:27:38. > :27:41.What are you expecting? And how excited are you?

:27:41. > :27:45.It's got to be very difficult.Well, Claudia, I am truly excited.

:27:45. > :27:47.This is a unique experience for me.

:27:47. > :27:51.50 years of judging ballroom dancing, and here I am,

:27:51. > :27:57.four men in a punt, getting ready to watch this, and I can't wait.

:27:57. > :28:00.I don't know what to expect, but I'm hoping it'll be gorgeous.

:28:00. > :28:02.I've got a feeling it'll be gorgeous. Me too.

:28:03. > :28:05.Bruno, how challenging is it going to be?

:28:05. > :28:09.I know we're all here for Sport Relief, but when Chelsee and Harry

:28:09. > :28:12.have got to walk down those stairs and dance - quite hard.

:28:12. > :28:15.Oh, it's incredibly hard, becauseyou have the resistance of the water,

:28:15. > :28:18.so every shape you make and every thing you do,

:28:18. > :28:21.you have to calculate the resistance of the water.

:28:21. > :28:22.Mark knows all about it.

:28:22. > :28:26.But there is the weightlessness as well, so if you're clever,

:28:26. > :28:29.you can use the weightlessness the water gives you

:28:29. > :28:34.to do fantastic, smooth shapes, so there are pros and cons,

:28:34. > :28:37.but I'm sure it's going to be amazing. OK.

:28:37. > :28:41.Craig, I know you're normally but this is for Sport Relief and..,

:28:41. > :28:46.Oh, a smile! ..and they are under water. Are you excited in any way?

:28:46. > :28:51.I am excited. I'm looking forward to- it going horribly wrong, darling!

:28:51. > :28:53.CLAUDIA CACKLES

:28:53. > :28:56.Now, Mark, you know more than the judges.

:28:56. > :29:00.How difficult will it be to move under that much water?

:29:00. > :29:03.It's a massive tank. It's not like they're in a puddle. No, no, no.

:29:03. > :29:06.It's incredibly different from doing it on land.

:29:06. > :29:08.Like Bruno said, you've got resistance.

:29:08. > :29:11.Also, when you do movement under water, you do get out of breath,

:29:11. > :29:13.so they'll be looking for breath as well.

:29:13. > :29:17.They've got mouthpieces, but it'll be far different from on land. OK.

:29:17. > :29:22.First up, it's Strictly champions Harry and Aliona,

:29:22. > :29:24.but before they put the motion in YOUR ocean,

:29:24. > :29:30.let's see how they got on in training.

:29:30. > :29:34.BRUCE FORSYTH: Harry and Aliona!

:29:34. > :29:39.Winning Strictly was absolutely amazing.

:29:39. > :29:42.So, when we were asked to do Strictly Underwater,

:29:42. > :29:45.we jumped at the opportunity.

:29:45. > :29:48.When I arrived here this morning at Pinewood, at the underwater studio,

:29:48. > :29:52.I felt like I was filming the new Bond movie.

:29:52. > :29:56.Got in the water, got the equipment on, went straight to the bottom!

:29:56. > :29:59.If you could play the James Bond theme music whilst I'm under there,

:29:59. > :30:05.that would be really cool.

:30:05. > :30:08.And then we started doing the ballroom dancing.

:30:08. > :30:11.Moving through water is a lot harder.

:30:11. > :30:16.It's like moving through treacle.

:30:16. > :30:19.You can't really communicate either.- You're just doing this...

:30:19. > :30:21.I think Aliona's a Viking -

:30:21. > :30:24.her dancing powers are taken away when she's under water. No!

:30:24. > :30:27.Water's her kryptonite.

:30:27. > :30:32.Training for the series, you'd do 8, 10 hours a day. On Strictly,

:30:32. > :30:35.dancing under water, we've managed about three today,

:30:35. > :30:38.because it's a lot more strenuous. Stop eating chocolate.

:30:39. > :30:41.We don't have much time. The routine is not set,

:30:41. > :30:43.so we're going to have to work really hard tomorrow.

:30:43. > :30:51.Panicking yet? A bit.

:30:51. > :30:59.Dancing for Sport Relief, Harry Judd and Aliona Vilani!

:30:59. > :31:06.# Standing on the edge of forever

:31:06. > :31:10.# At the start of whatever

:31:10. > :31:18.# Shouting love at the world

:31:18. > :31:22.# We will meet you where the lights are

:31:22. > :31:27.# The defenders of the faith we are

:31:27. > :31:29.# Where the thunder turns around

:31:29. > :31:36.# They'll run so hard we'll tear the ground away

:31:36. > :31:39.# Although no-one understood

:31:39. > :31:41.# We were holding back the flood

:31:41. > :31:45.# Learning how to dance the rain

:31:45. > :31:48.# We were holding back the flood

:31:48. > :31:55.# They said we'd never dance again

:31:55. > :31:58.# Although no-one understood

:31:58. > :32:01.# There was more of them than us

:32:01. > :32:05.# Learning how to dance the rain

:32:05. > :32:07.# We were holding back the flood

:32:07. > :32:13.# They said we'd never dance again

:32:13. > :32:19.# Oh whoa, oh whoa

:32:19. > :32:24.# Oh whoa, oh whoa... #

:32:24. > :32:33.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:32:34. > :32:36.Oh-ho!

:32:36. > :32:40.There you are.

:32:40. > :32:43.Absolutely amazing.

:32:44. > :32:47.Gobsmackingly clever girl.

:32:47. > :32:48.Guys, do you want robes? Do you...?

:32:48. > :32:51.No, thank you. Argh!

:32:51. > :32:54.Massive congratulations. It looked brilliant.

:32:54. > :32:56.Thank you. And beautiful. How did it feel?

:32:56. > :33:00.It felt amazing. Yeah? Very different than on land.

:33:00. > :33:03.We are all... I mean, you took our breath away. Harry, how was it?

:33:03. > :33:07.It was good fun. Loved it, really good. OK. Let's go to the judges.

:33:07. > :33:09.Our lovely guest judge, Mark, how did they cope?

:33:09. > :33:12.I think they're absolutely fantastic. Absolutely brilliant.

:33:12. > :33:15.Is there anything you can't do? Both of you?

:33:15. > :33:17.It was absolutely phenomenal.

:33:17. > :33:21.The shapes you make in the water,you were like Happy Feet down there.

:33:21. > :33:24.In a good way! Bruno, what did you think?

:33:24. > :33:27.Hello, Sailor!

:33:27. > :33:31.I don't know why, but I have this sudden urge, I want to dive in!

:33:31. > :33:34.I really do. Slick and streamlined.

:33:34. > :33:36.Truly a wonder down under.

:33:36. > :33:42.The shapes were beautiful. Both ofyou were like a marvel of the abyss.

:33:42. > :33:44.Loved it. OK.

:33:44. > :33:47.Thank you for your comments. Craig, what did you think?

:33:47. > :33:51.Well, you both took the plunge,darling, and it actually paid off.

:33:51. > :33:54.Elegant, liquid, clean lines. Loved it.

:33:55. > :33:57.I felt waves of emotion, darling,

:33:57. > :34:01.especially when you went into that wonderful double-attitude turn.

:34:01. > :34:03.That looked absolutely incredible.

:34:03. > :34:06.You then followed that into the fish lift,

:34:06. > :34:08.which I thought was completely appropriate.

:34:08. > :34:11.And the upper-body strength, Aliona,

:34:11. > :34:14.you demonstrated under water,

:34:14. > :34:16.a one-arm press. Absolutely brilliant.

:34:16. > :34:20.Eau-de-licious, darlings.

:34:20. > :34:25.Fantastic comments there. Next judge - Captain Len.

:34:25. > :34:29.The movement and the lifts were beautiful.

:34:29. > :34:32.They say that 80% of alllife in the world is under water,

:34:33. > :34:35.and you were full of life.

:34:35. > :34:38.Well done. Aw. Thank you so much.

:34:38. > :34:41.Are you very happy with the judges'- comments? I'm truly happy.

:34:41. > :34:46.They were beautiful. It must have been an extraordinary experience,

:34:46. > :34:48.and then to come out and have the Revel Horwood be nice.

:34:48. > :34:50.It's just a double joy.

:34:50. > :34:52.I've never seen him so nice. It's quite a shock.

:34:52. > :34:55.But no, amazing comments. Thank you very much. OK.

:34:55. > :34:59.Judges, I believe your scores, please.

:34:59. > :35:06.Will the judges please reveal their scores? Mark Foster.

:35:06. > :35:16.Bruno Tonioli.

:35:16. > :35:21.

:35:21. > :35:23.Happy with that? Happy. OK. Good. OK.

:35:23. > :35:26.That's the end of part one. But that was a drop in the ocean...

:35:26. > :35:30.I can't help myself! ..because coming up in part two,

:35:30. > :35:32.we'll see Chelsee and Pasha brave the waters.

:35:32. > :35:35.But is Chelsee out of her depth? See you in part two!

:35:35. > :35:38.And remember, keep... Do this with me. ..diving!

:35:38. > :35:48.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:35:48. > :35:56.

:35:56. > :35:57.I

:35:57. > :35:57.I apologise

:35:57. > :36:00.I apologise by

:36:00. > :36:03.I apologise by the way for everything I did there, but they

:36:03. > :36:06.were beautiful dancing underwater and do you not want to miss the

:36:06. > :36:10.second part. Please stay tuned to see Chelsee and Pasha's performance.

:36:10. > :36:20.When Sport Relief asked me and my wife Danielle to visit Bangladesh

:36:20. > :36:21.

:36:21. > :36:26.last year we thought we knew what to expect. We didn't.

:36:26. > :36:30.This 100 acre rubbish dump is a mess of human, animal and

:36:30. > :36:40.industrial waste. And unbelievably it's also a place

:36:40. > :36:43.

:36:43. > :36:47.The stench for a start, it's just inhumane that people

:36:47. > :36:50.trying to find scraps and bits of plastic or whatever,

:36:50. > :36:54.just to exist, basically.

:36:54. > :37:04.The most appalling thing I think I've ever seen.

:37:04. > :37:05.

:37:05. > :37:09.Welcome to Hell.

:37:09. > :37:12.Yet forhundreds of desperately poor children,

:37:12. > :37:20.scavenging other people's unwanted rubbish to sell is the only way they can survive.

:37:20. > :37:23.You can imagine some of the stuff that's in here - medical waste,

:37:23. > :37:28.needles - it's just so dangerous. So dangerous.

:37:28. > :37:35.No human being should go through this, let alone small children.

:37:35. > :37:40.Children like eight-year-old Mahabu. He's worked here his whole life.

:37:40. > :37:50.He doesn't go to school. And he's in constant danger.

:37:50. > :37:59.

:37:59. > :38:09.For Mahabu, working here is a life sentence.

:38:09. > :38:18.

:38:18. > :38:21.They're like four and five, these kids.

:38:21. > :38:23.They should be starting school now.

:38:23. > :38:25.and they're here, just sifting through filth.

:38:25. > :38:33.They're even picking it up andeating it, because they're starving.

:38:33. > :38:42.Just think every kid's entitled to a childhood.

:38:42. > :38:45.Sport Relief wants to reach out to kids like Mahabu,

:38:45. > :38:47.to get them into schools, and educated,

:38:47. > :38:53.so they never have to work in a place like this.

:38:53. > :38:58.It's just harrowing, it's horrific. And it's got to stop.

:38:58. > :39:02.It costs just �10 to send one ofthese children to school for a month.

:39:02. > :39:06.They get education, books, and a uniform.

:39:06. > :39:10.A tenner, for a future.

:39:10. > :39:14.What's he, three years old, this little one?

:39:14. > :39:17.Off to work. Off to work, yeah.

:39:17. > :39:22.But we can't change this without your money.

:39:22. > :39:25.So to all the mums, to all the parents, please think of these kids

:39:25. > :39:28.when you're feeding your own child tonight or tucking them into bed.

:39:28. > :39:33.Please help us make a change.

:39:33. > :39:37.Please pick up your phones - and do it now, while you can see this.

:39:37. > :39:46.We can make a real difference. We can change it.

:39:46. > :39:56.Please be the shoulder these kids can lean on.

:39:56. > :39:56.

:39:57. > :39:57.I

:39:57. > :39:57.I can't

:39:57. > :40:00.I can't tell

:40:00. > :40:02.I can't tell you how bad it is there. The stench has remained with

:40:02. > :40:07.me almost and it's something neither of us will ever, ever

:40:07. > :40:12.forget. We have got to do something about it. In Bangladesh �10 gets

:40:12. > :40:16.one of those children an education for a month. �120 will buy them a

:40:16. > :40:20.whole year in school. It's school which will give them a future,

:40:20. > :40:28.school will get them away from that filthy place. Tonight you really

:40:28. > :40:34.have the power to change children's lives. Please use it. 03457 910 910.

:40:34. > :40:44.Time for a high-flying thank you, courtesy of new cabin crew member

:40:44. > :40:45.

:40:45. > :40:48.Mr Alan Carr. Put your chair in the upright

:40:49. > :40:52.Life jackets are available under your seat in case of an emergency.

:40:52. > :40:54.Shame they don't come in other colours.

:40:54. > :40:56.Lemon!

:40:56. > :40:59.Please watch this short video while we carry out our final checks.

:40:59. > :41:01.Our wonderful staff have risen to the challenge

:41:01. > :41:04.and have been busy raising money for Sport Relief

:41:04. > :41:08.over the last 12 months as part of their Flying Start campaign.

:41:08. > :41:09.They've been pulling together,

:41:09. > :41:11.and everyone deserves a massive thank-you

:41:12. > :41:13.for putting in so much effort.

:41:13. > :41:16.Thank you, thank you, thank you!

:41:16. > :41:18.And a special thanks to all you customers

:41:18. > :41:22.for raising so much money - you're all gorgeous.

:41:22. > :41:32.Right, I'm just going to go and see if the captain needs anything.

:41:32. > :41:39.

:41:39. > :41:40.Uncanny.

:41:40. > :41:40.Uncanny. Let's

:41:40. > :41:43.Uncanny. Let's see

:41:43. > :41:48.Uncanny. Let's see how much the staff and customers of British

:41:48. > :41:58.Airways have raised. Wow, look at that!

:41:58. > :41:58.

:41:58. > :42:08.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING. Well done and thank you! Thank you very much.

:42:08. > :42:08.

:42:08. > :42:16.Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. OK. What's got fast hands, fast

:42:16. > :42:21.feet, and fast wits? But is still really terribly horrible? Amir

:42:21. > :42:31.Khan? Jermaine Defoe? And Stephen Fry in Horrible Histories?

:42:31. > :42:31.

:42:31. > :42:35.Hello, and welcome to this special Now, all modern sports

:42:35. > :42:39.a game of which Mary, Queen of Scots was an enormous fan.

:42:39. > :42:42.Indeed, after her execution, Mary's headless body was wrapped

:42:42. > :42:47.in a billiard table's cloth.

:42:47. > :42:51.Billiards developed from an outdoor game played on grass.

:42:51. > :42:53.Boxing also took place on turf

:42:53. > :42:56.till the Marquess of Queensberry Rules were introduced in 1867.

:42:56. > :43:04.That's not the only thing that'schanged about boxing over the years.

:43:04. > :43:07.Hello. Welcome to Historical Boxing. We are ring-side,

:43:07. > :43:10.and what a line-up we have for you this evening. Steve?

:43:10. > :43:14.That's right. Tonight, defending his Historical boxing title,

:43:14. > :43:18.we have Olympic medal winner and world-class fighter Amir Khan.

:43:18. > :43:20.That's right. And just last week,

:43:20. > :43:23.Amir took on Ancient Greek Damoxenus,

:43:23. > :43:25.who uses a vicious mix of boxing and wrestling,

:43:25. > :43:30.known as pancratia. Let's remind ourselves how he got on.

:43:30. > :43:34.I'm going to jab you in the ribs with my sharpened fingernail

:43:34. > :43:37.and pull out your innards. I'm going to pull out your belly, yeah?

:43:37. > :43:40.I'm going to do a little dance on your guts.

:43:40. > :43:43.I'm going to do go skipping with your...

:43:43. > :43:46.It's cold in here, innit?

:43:46. > :43:49.No, not Damoxenus's finest hour, Steve.

:43:49. > :43:52.I know, that was barely a minute. Dreadful.

:43:52. > :43:55.So let's see how our next contender gets on.

:43:55. > :43:58.All the way from Georgian England,

:43:58. > :44:02.it's naval boxing champion, Able Seaman Bob.

:44:02. > :44:05.Darn rigging! That's a funny-looking bottle of rum

:44:05. > :44:09.you've got there, boy.

:44:09. > :44:11.It's not rum. It's energy drink. Which one of you said that?

:44:11. > :44:13.I can't fight him. Don't worry, laddie. I'll go easy on you!

:44:14. > :44:17.BELL RINGS

:44:17. > :44:23.Ooh! Whoa! Wait now! What are you doing?

:44:23. > :44:25.I'm boxing. Oh, no, we're going to box properly.

:44:25. > :44:30.Like Georgian sailors. Terry! What on earth's going on, Steve?

:44:30. > :44:33.Well, John, bored Georgian sailors stuck in harbour

:44:33. > :44:35.would indulge in something called milling.

:44:35. > :44:38.Basically, they would sit straddling sea chests,

:44:38. > :44:43.be covered in chains to stop them moving,

:44:43. > :44:44.and then beat the living daylights out of each other.

:44:44. > :44:45.I've never seen that before. It must be on pay per view.

:44:45. > :44:48.BELL RINGS

:44:48. > :44:50.Oi! Bagsie me first shot.

:44:50. > :44:54.Whoa! Oh!

:44:54. > :44:57.Well, the good news for Amir is that, with Bob out like a light,

:44:57. > :45:01.victory is once again his. And what's the bad news, John?

:45:01. > :45:03.He's dribbling on me.

:45:03. > :45:07.He's dribbling on him. He's dribbling.

:45:07. > :45:10.And on the subject of dribbling - of a far more attractive kind -

:45:10. > :45:13.we turn to football,

:45:13. > :45:16.which wasn't always the beautiful game.

:45:16. > :45:19.Referees weren't introduced until 1891.

:45:19. > :45:23.Just imagine the game before then. There'd be no-one to hurl abuse at.

:45:23. > :45:26.Way back in Tudor times, football was really violent.

:45:26. > :45:32.Well, I'm delighted to be joined by a player often described as

:45:32. > :45:35.being to football what Jermain Defoe is to football -

:45:35. > :45:37.it's Jermain Defoe.

:45:37. > :45:40.So, Jermain, big match in prospect today.

:45:40. > :45:43.I believe this is the first time you've faced the Tudors? Who?!

:45:43. > :45:48.The Tudors? From the Tudor era? What?! OK, here they come now.

:45:48. > :45:52.GRUMBLING AND RAMBLING

:45:52. > :45:54.So, Ken, how are the Tudors feeling about the match today?

:45:54. > :45:57.Pretty excited. The whole village has turned out today, so...

:45:57. > :46:00.Great. Great to have so much support.

:46:00. > :46:03.They're not supporters. They're playing. The entire village?

:46:03. > :46:05.That's right. In Tudor football, the whole village

:46:05. > :46:07.takes on the whole another village,

:46:07. > :46:10.although, apparently, today we're going to play against two villages.

:46:10. > :46:13.Tott and Ham. Tottenham? That's what I said, mate.

:46:14. > :46:16.Nice to meet you, by the way. What number are you? 18.

:46:16. > :46:22.Ah, right. I'm 316, he's 317, he's 318, and then we lost count.

:46:22. > :46:24.We're playing classic football rules today.

:46:24. > :46:26.Basically, as many men as you can muster.

:46:26. > :46:28.You've got to kick the ball through the cemetery gates

:46:28. > :46:30.at the opposing village.

:46:30. > :46:32.It goes without saying - violence, foul play, bad language

:46:32. > :46:35.are strictly encouraged.

:46:35. > :46:38.Except, we can't use weapons? Health and safety gone mad.

:46:38. > :46:41.I don't suppose this is the type of football

:46:41. > :46:44.you're used to playing, Jermain. Nonsense!

:46:44. > :46:47.Football is football! What position do you play? Striker.

:46:47. > :46:50.I'm a striker too, and I'm going to strike you,

:46:50. > :46:52.and I'm probably going to strike him

:46:52. > :46:54.and I may head-butt him if I can reach him.

:46:54. > :46:57.He may as well, cos he's a nutter.

:46:57. > :46:58.I think we're just about to kick off now

:46:58. > :47:00.because here comes the ref with the ball.

:47:00. > :47:02.WHISTLE BLOWS

:47:02. > :47:03.That's the ball?

:47:03. > :47:06.Yeah, it's your classic inflated pig's bladder.

:47:06. > :47:08.Ooh, sorry, there's still some blood on that.

:47:08. > :47:10.From the pig?! No, from the last team we beat.

:47:10. > :47:14.And when I say beat, I mean beat.

:47:14. > :47:16.WHISTLE BLOWS

:47:16. > :47:18.Leave it till the kick-off, Ken.

:47:18. > :47:22.I want a good, clean game, but I'm told that's not going to happen

:47:22. > :47:24.so I'm out of here. Good luck, Jermain!

:47:24. > :47:25.Get him!

:47:25. > :47:35.ALL SHOUT

:47:35. > :47:38.

:47:38. > :47:38.Thank

:47:38. > :47:39.Thank you

:47:39. > :47:41.Thank you Horrible

:47:41. > :47:46.Thank you Horrible Histories. No one makes history more horrible

:47:46. > :47:51.than you. What do your children want to do when they grow up? I bet

:47:51. > :47:55.they have big dreams and plans. Lorraine Kelly went to Peru to meet

:47:55. > :48:05.a little boy Jose, he has a dream, he wants to go to school so he has

:48:05. > :48:05.

:48:05. > :48:46.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 71 seconds

:48:46. > :48:50.Ten-year-old Jose works with his OK. Jose and his family make about

:48:50. > :48:55.1,000 of these in a day, would you believe. Of course, when he is

:48:55. > :48:59.working here he is not at school. Do you know, I was just doing that

:48:59. > :49:04.for about ten minutes and I am shattered. My hands are killing me.

:49:04. > :49:09.Every single day, every single day that's the life. It's absolutely

:49:09. > :49:15.horrendous. It really is. Absolutely horrendous. It's no way

:49:15. > :49:21.to live at all. But there is an answer. Sport Relief is funding a

:49:21. > :49:26.local project o that provides vital help for children like Jose, things

:49:26. > :49:30.like books, uniforms and catch-up education classes. They even help

:49:30. > :49:36.retrain parents to find better jobs so the whole family is supported to

:49:36. > :49:46.get out of this horrible situation. But without that support children

:49:46. > :49:50.

:49:50. > :49:55.like Jose are trapped. When you finish work how do you feel? It's

:49:55. > :50:00.hard, it's really hard. What would you rather be doing?

:50:00. > :50:07.What would be something that you really want to do? You want to be a

:50:07. > :50:11.doctor. That's fantastic. That's really, really good.

:50:11. > :50:20.But unless Jose gets a proper education he could well spend the

:50:20. > :50:26.rest of his life working here. That wee soul is just ten years old,

:50:26. > :50:32.his bones ache at night because he's so tired. He's working with

:50:32. > :50:36.his bare hands and bare feet, it's just not right, it really isn't. I

:50:36. > :50:39.mean... Little kids shouldn't be doing this. They should be at

:50:40. > :50:49.school, he should be playing, having a proper life. It's not fair.

:50:49. > :50:54.It's just not fair. Please help make life fairer for

:50:54. > :51:00.children like Jose. Call 03457 910 910.

:51:00. > :51:05.Or go online and give what you can. We desperately need to get teachers

:51:05. > :51:11.for those children. A good teacher costs �100 a week. Please give

:51:11. > :51:16.whatever you can. 03457 910 910. So far tonight we have already seen

:51:16. > :51:21.Harry and Aliona perform under difficult conditions, but next to

:51:21. > :51:27.take the plunge are Chelsee and Pasha. Goggles on, stand by, it's

:51:27. > :51:37.time to jump back in the tank. Here is Strictly Come Dancing Underwater,

:51:37. > :51:40.

:51:40. > :51:44.we've taken Strictly to new We've submerged our ballroom

:51:44. > :51:47.Earlier, Strictly champions Harry and Aliona swapped

:51:47. > :51:51.driving for diving, and made a splash with their amazing routine.

:51:51. > :51:58.Here's a little reminder of how they got on.

:51:58. > :52:00.Hello, Sailor!

:52:00. > :52:05.Slick and streamlined. Truly a wonder down under.

:52:05. > :52:08.Elegant, liquid. Clean lines. Loved it.

:52:08. > :52:11.I felt waves of emotion, darling.

:52:11. > :52:15.Absolutely phenomenal. The shapes you make. You were like Happy Feet!

:52:15. > :52:17.You were full of life. Well done.

:52:17. > :52:26.A very tough act to follow.

:52:27. > :52:28.A very tough act to follow.

:52:28. > :52:32.Next to take the Sport Relief plunge - it's Chelsee and Pasha!

:52:32. > :52:38.Here they are in training.

:52:38. > :52:40.I came second in Strictly Come Dancing,

:52:40. > :52:44.and it'd be amazing to come home with a trophy this time.

:52:44. > :52:48.We're here, taking our first steps in underwater dancing.

:52:48. > :52:54.I'm dreading going in there. Dreading it.

:52:54. > :52:59.Ooh! Don't like it!

:52:59. > :53:06.I don't like going under water and opening my eyes.

:53:06. > :53:13.No, I can't do it.

:53:13. > :53:15.I'm freaked out a little now.

:53:15. > :53:18.I'm trying to work my breathing out.

:53:18. > :53:19.I'm so used to breathing through my nose.

:53:19. > :53:23.It's weird getting used to breathing- through your mouth.

:53:23. > :53:24.I think we're going through the hardest stage at this moment

:53:24. > :53:27.because the main thing is for us to- get comfortable being under water.

:53:27. > :53:32.SHE SPLUTTERS

:53:32. > :53:34.It feels unnatural. I sometimes panic when I've been down there.

:53:34. > :53:37.It's so uncomfortable and scary to be under water...

:53:37. > :53:44.in a completely different environment.

:53:44. > :53:47.I knew it was going to be hard, and it is hard for me.

:53:47. > :53:53.I'm so proud of Chelsee.

:53:53. > :53:56.I don't think I can do this.

:53:56. > :53:59.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:53:59. > :54:09.Dancing under water - Chelsee Healey and Pasha Kovalev!

:54:09. > :54:12.

:54:12. > :54:16.# Somewhere beyond the sea

:54:16. > :54:22.# Somewhere waiting for me

:54:22. > :54:26.# My lover stands on golden sands

:54:27. > :54:32.# And watches the ships that go sailing

:54:33. > :54:38.# Somewhere beyond the sea

:54:38. > :54:42.# She's there watching for me

:54:42. > :54:48.# If I could fly like birds on high

:54:48. > :54:54.# Then straight to her arms I'd go sailing

:54:54. > :54:58.# It's far beyond a star

:54:58. > :55:04.# It's near beyond a moon

:55:04. > :55:09.# I know beyond a doubt

:55:09. > :55:14.# My heart will lead me there soon

:55:14. > :55:19.# We'll meet beyond the shore

:55:19. > :55:24.# We'll kiss just as before

:55:24. > :55:30.# Happy we'll be beyond the sea

:55:30. > :55:38.# And never again I'll go sailing... #

:55:38. > :55:48.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:55:48. > :55:58.

:55:58. > :56:01.Are you all right, darling? Yes. That was pretty good.

:56:01. > :56:03.Did you enjoy it?

:56:03. > :56:06.It was amazing, yeah. It's really scary being down there,

:56:06. > :56:10.but once you're down there and feel that you're breathing's going OK,

:56:10. > :56:13.then yeah, it's an amazing feeling. I loved it.

:56:13. > :56:16.Did you enjoy it, Pasha? Absolutely.

:56:16. > :56:18.Everything went the way we planned,

:56:18. > :56:21.and it's such a great feeling of freedom when you dance there.

:56:21. > :56:22.Yeah. Was it?

:56:22. > :56:25.Yeah. I can do the splits down there- and I can't on dry land!

:56:25. > :56:29.It was a beautiful routine. Let's start with our guest judge.

:56:29. > :56:31.Mark, how do you think these guys coped?

:56:31. > :56:35.They had tables and chairs and champagne glasses, and everything.

:56:35. > :56:38.At the beginning, we were talking, I hadn't seen any rehearsals,

:56:38. > :56:40.but Chelsee was having problems getting under the water.

:56:40. > :56:45.I thought you might clam up but you really were a STAR-fish.

:56:45. > :56:48.You were fantastic. You did more movement than Harry.

:56:48. > :56:51.You're amazing. Well done, sweetheart. Aw.

:56:51. > :56:57.Bruno? Chelsee, you delicious and curvaceous little mermaid!

:56:57. > :57:03.Enticing the seamen into your underwater kingdom! In fact,

:57:03. > :57:06.there was a moment when you swam over, reaching for the camera,

:57:06. > :57:09.it was pure Esther Williams!

:57:09. > :57:11.It was great, my darling.

:57:11. > :57:14.Fantastic job. That's the best compliment ever.

:57:14. > :57:17.OK. Mr No-Longer-Grumpy And-Just-Full-Of-Joy,

:57:17. > :57:19.Craig Revel Horwood.

:57:19. > :57:21.Sorry to disappoint, but I thought the transitions

:57:21. > :57:23.were slightly fishy.

:57:23. > :57:26.They were just a little complex, I think.

:57:26. > :57:30.It looked more like a shark attack in a feeding frenzy.

:57:30. > :57:32.Ohh! No!

:57:32. > :57:37.But, my darling, you did a million and one steps.

:57:37. > :57:39.You kept in character the whole way through.

:57:39. > :57:42.I love the use of props.

:57:42. > :57:46.Tables, chairs, champagne glasses under water - absolute heaven.

:57:46. > :57:52.Full of drama. I'd say water heaven,- darling. Gorgeous!

:57:52. > :57:53.Oh, brilliant. Thank you very much,- Craig.

:57:53. > :57:55.And finally, head judge Len.

:57:55. > :57:57.Oh, Chelsee, my little water baby.

:57:57. > :58:02.Whatever anyone gives to Sport Relief, you've given more,

:58:02. > :58:05.because I know you were petrified,

:58:05. > :58:09.and yet you've come out and done it.- That was amazing.

:58:09. > :58:13.You did an absolutely fantastic job

:58:13. > :58:15.and it was very, very well done.

:58:15. > :58:18.Well done, sweetheart. Well done.

:58:18. > :58:23.Before we get the scores, let's welcome back Harry and Aliona.

:58:23. > :58:27.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:58:27. > :58:30.Harry, you of course scored 35.

:58:30. > :58:32.We're going to find out what Chelsee scored.

:58:32. > :58:34.If it's a tie, then the king,

:58:34. > :58:37.otherwise known as head judge Len Goodman will decide

:58:37. > :58:42.who lifts the trophy. Good luck.

:58:42. > :58:52.Will the judges please reveal their scores? Mark Foster.

:58:52. > :58:59.

:58:59. > :59:02.It's a tie!

:59:02. > :59:04.It's a tie.

:59:04. > :59:07.Let's go to Len. This is serious. Somebody does win a very beautiful

:59:07. > :59:10.Sport Relief Strictly Come Dancing Underwater trophy.

:59:10. > :59:13.Who would you like to see win?

:59:13. > :59:16.Well, I tied both of you.

:59:16. > :59:18.I gave you both an eight,

:59:18. > :59:22.because firstly, I thought Harry's dance was beautiful

:59:22. > :59:25.and I loved the movement of it. However,

:59:25. > :59:28.I must say that I felt that,

:59:28. > :59:32.as a dance from a celebrity under water,

:59:32. > :59:36.Chelsee did a little bit more dancing.

:59:36. > :59:39.You mainly partnered, Chelsee mainly danced,

:59:39. > :59:43.so my decision is for you, Chelsee and Pasha.

:59:43. > :59:45.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:59:45. > :59:50.You are the winner of Sport Relief Strictly Come Dancing Underwater!

:59:50. > :59:56.Thank you!

:59:56. > :00:01.Are you happy? Yes, I'm made up. Thank you.

:00:01. > :00:03.Good you're made up. Pasha, congratulations. Are you delighted?

:00:03. > :00:06.Thank you so much. Yes. It was an incredible experience

:00:07. > :00:11.for both couples, and I think we're- both winners today. Yeah.

:00:11. > :00:14.Are you very happy for them? Oh, absolutely delighted.

:00:14. > :00:17.Obviously, it's an amazing thing to be part of,

:00:17. > :00:20.and Chelsee did incredibly well in overcoming all her fears,

:00:20. > :00:24.and it's an amazing thing to be part- of, Sport Relief,

:00:24. > :00:26.so thanks to everyone for this opportunity. Thank you, Harry.

:00:26. > :00:29.So we have a winner. Please raise the roof

:00:29. > :00:32.for our Sport Relief Strictly Come Dancing Underwater champion,

:00:32. > :00:34.Chelsee Healey!

:00:34. > :00:44.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:00:44. > :00:57.

:00:57. > :00:58.That

:00:58. > :00:58.That was

:00:58. > :01:02.That was incredible!

:01:02. > :01:06.That was incredible! Yes, they were brilliant. Now, everyone on that

:01:06. > :01:16.shoot took part because of the work that Sport Relief does. Half the

:01:16. > :01:17.

:01:17. > :01:22.money you donate will be spent When I need support,

:01:22. > :01:26.When I've had a bad day, I find strength in my dad.

:01:26. > :01:29.But there are thousands of people here in the UK

:01:29. > :01:32.who feel they have no-one to turn to.

:01:32. > :01:35.Sport Relief is working hard to find people in trouble

:01:35. > :01:44.and give them a helping hand just when they need it.

:01:44. > :01:46.Any of the girls would say, "Well,

:01:46. > :01:49."why can't he give me just one more kiss,

:01:49. > :01:57."why can't he say goodbye to me?"

:01:57. > :02:00.I was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

:02:00. > :02:02.Depression.

:02:02. > :02:06.Bipolar.

:02:06. > :02:08.A lot of people find it difficult to talk about it.

:02:08. > :02:11.They feel a bit ashamed.

:02:11. > :02:15.Life sometimes is just so hard.

:02:15. > :02:17.Over the years, Sport Relief money has helped

:02:17. > :02:19.all sorts of people from all over the country.

:02:19. > :02:22.Get them back on their feet.

:02:22. > :02:24.Help them stand tall with pride.

:02:24. > :02:26.And never give up.

:02:26. > :02:29.Children who bear the huge responsibility and challenge

:02:29. > :02:32.of looking after their own parent.

:02:32. > :02:38.My mum's got multiple sclerosis, which makes her really tired.

:02:38. > :02:41.I mainly help my mum

:02:41. > :02:44.with the cooking and with the injections

:02:44. > :02:48.and getting things ready for her.

:02:48. > :02:51.I remember certain smells.

:02:51. > :02:54.I started really hearing high echo, your head starts banging.

:02:54. > :02:57.I started seeing things, not flashbacks,

:02:57. > :03:02.I mean literally seeing things.

:03:02. > :03:06.It's like looking at a ghost of somebody who used to be there.

:03:06. > :03:09.I just sat beside him, and he's rocking and crying.

:03:09. > :03:11.He didn't know who I was.

:03:11. > :03:13.He didn't know where he was.

:03:13. > :03:16.He was scared.

:03:16. > :03:18.Sorry.

:03:18. > :03:27.Excuse me.

:03:27. > :03:31.But they do have someone who cares, they have you.

:03:31. > :03:37.Because 50% of Sport Relief money gets spent right here in the UK -

:03:37. > :03:42.in England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

:03:42. > :03:48.Your money funds over 1,300 projects nationwide.

:03:48. > :03:55.I've witnessed first-hand how important these organisations are.

:03:55. > :04:00.And it's your money that makes all this possible.

:04:00. > :04:03.It's a great idea,

:04:03. > :04:05.bringing able-bodied and disabled young people together

:04:05. > :04:08.to break down barriers and build confidence.

:04:08. > :04:11.And what better way to do that than through the power of sport?

:04:11. > :04:14.It helps me to be more independent and come here.

:04:14. > :04:17.The project is fantastic.

:04:17. > :04:24.I can't wish for a better support network.

:04:24. > :04:26.Tonight you can be the rock

:04:26. > :04:28.that supports the lifeline of someone else's life.

:04:28. > :04:32.Someone who really needs your help right now.

:04:32. > :04:37.Call 03457 910 910 and make a difference to someone's life

:04:37. > :04:43.or donate online at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief

:04:43. > :04:47.A big, big, big thank you.

:04:47. > :04:54.Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

:04:54. > :04:54.Thank

:04:54. > :04:54.Thank you.

:04:54. > :04:59.Thank you. Sport

:04:59. > :05:01.Thank you. Sport Relief is in England, Sport Relief is in

:05:01. > :05:07.Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Wherever you live, there is

:05:07. > :05:12.a project near you. Help us to continue the support by calling

:05:12. > :05:16.03457 910 910. Thank you. Also, a quick but enormous thank you to The

:05:17. > :05:26.One Show's Matt and Alex and their viewers who have been brilliant in

:05:27. > :05:29.

:05:29. > :05:35.supporting Sport Relief and have, so far, raised �186, 161. They are

:05:35. > :05:39.also taking part in The One Show 1,000 Relay, which ends in the

:05:39. > :05:45.Sport Relief Mile Show from The Mall on Sunday. In our interactive

:05:45. > :05:50.Star Bar... Hello. It is possible they can't hear me. I think they

:05:50. > :05:55.can! Hello, Helen. Hello, I can hear you. We are tweeting away.

:05:55. > :05:59.Taking lots of donations. So it is all good. Fantastic. Helen Skelton,

:05:59. > :06:03.there she is, chatting to some of you live while you watch this show.

:06:03. > :06:10.If you like being online and watching TV at the same time,

:06:10. > :06:15.then... Ah. Indeed, she's there. Don't panic. LAUGHTER Go to

:06:15. > :06:19.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. You and I are going for days after! Only

:06:19. > :06:29.three? That's plenty! Time for another thank you. This time, we

:06:29. > :06:34.sent Professor Brian Cox to uncover the mysteries of telephony.

:06:34. > :06:40.Our universe is a vast and wonderous place and it is full of

:06:40. > :06:47.awesome and spectacular sights. For me, none is as fascinating as the

:06:47. > :06:56.completely naturally occurring rock formation known as the BT Tower.

:06:56. > :07:00.Thousands of highly-charged human being volunteers - they are dead

:07:00. > :07:06.nice - they use this strange building to raise millions of

:07:06. > :07:11.pounds and they achieve this through a beautiful and mysterious

:07:11. > :07:15.process known as telephone calls. The remarkable staff have been

:07:15. > :07:20.helping to raise hundreds of thousands of pounds by joining

:07:20. > :07:28.forces and fund-raising all across the UK. For this, thank you all

:07:28. > :07:38.very much. You are truly, truly amazing. And one of the real

:07:38. > :07:38.

:07:38. > :07:42.wonders of the universe. APPLAUSE Thank you, BT and your wonderful

:07:42. > :07:52.staff, customers, all the folk who have volunteered to take your

:07:52. > :07:55.

:07:55. > :08:01.donations tonight. Let's see how much they have raised. APPLAUSE

:08:01. > :08:05.Thank you. That is over �1 million from their customers and staff

:08:05. > :08:14.towards the three charities they have supported. Still to come: We

:08:14. > :08:19.have more fantastic treats. Have a look at this. Coming up soon: Frank

:08:19. > :08:27.Skinner attempts his own big swim. I am frightened of the water and

:08:27. > :08:32.everything else is a prifal concern. A tricky fixture for Frank Lampard

:08:32. > :08:36.in Outnumbered. Are you a Chelsea fan? No, I hate football. I won

:08:36. > :08:43.this in a competition and I wanted to be on telly. Have the judges

:08:43. > :08:52.found their next winner of Britain's Got Talent? How old are

:08:52. > :08:59.you? 25. And the rest! All coming soon.

:08:59. > :09:05.APPLAUSE That Miranda sketch is coming up

:09:05. > :09:10.very soon. Do you have any phobias? Ferrets, I don't like them.

:09:10. > :09:13.won't like this then! I wouldn't do that to you. I don't really like

:09:13. > :09:17.heights so imagine if Sport Relief Challengeed us to stand on say the

:09:17. > :09:21.top of the Eiffel Tower surrounded by ferrets? Terrifying. It was just

:09:21. > :09:25.a way of explaining what happened to Frank Skinner when Sport Relief

:09:25. > :09:30.found out that Frank can't swim and has a phobia of water. There is

:09:30. > :09:40.only one thing to do... Shove him in a pool and make him swim a

:09:40. > :09:40.

:09:40. > :09:45.I go on stage in front of however many people and try and make them

:09:45. > :09:54.laugh by telling jokes. But swimming makes me completely feel

:09:54. > :10:02.like I have no control, like I'm very, very vulnerable. I have one

:10:02. > :10:12.worry. I have to be in water and nothing else really matters to me.

:10:12. > :10:12.

:10:12. > :10:19.I'm frightened of the water and everything else is a peripheral

:10:19. > :10:25.concern. I can smell the chlorine. There is supposed to be a smell of

:10:25. > :10:30.fear, that is what I associate it with. Oh, it looks... I'm getting

:10:30. > :10:34.the... Mmm. It is amazing that you are doing it. There are so many

:10:34. > :10:39.adults that can't swim. It is very brave of you. If you teach me to

:10:39. > :10:44.swim, you will have done something which I gave up on at some point in

:10:44. > :10:48.my life and just thought, "I will never be able to do this." It is

:10:48. > :10:55.such a shame. We have a swimming teacher who will be coming along.

:10:55. > :10:59.You will have to trust me. I'm not going to let you drown. OK. David

:10:59. > :11:06.guides Frank to his first hurdle - getting used to the water. We will

:11:06. > :11:16.do this together. I will hold your hands. Bend your knees and start

:11:16. > :11:19.

:11:19. > :11:28.blowing bubbles. OK. Good man. And again. OK. I wasn't anxious, but I

:11:28. > :11:33.didn't have one of my moments where I lose it. That is a victory. I

:11:33. > :11:43.touched it! I am coming to lesson two, so that's what I was aiming

:11:43. > :11:43.

:11:43. > :11:49.Remember what I said about your feet? Keep your ankles relaxed and

:11:49. > :11:59.you are not kicking your legs, you are what? Flapping my feet,

:11:59. > :12:00.

:12:00. > :12:07.splashing my feet. That's fine. That's it. Just relax. I have lost

:12:07. > :12:17.two of my three floats already. It is very good. That third float is

:12:17. > :12:17.

:12:17. > :12:23.quite crucial. Leaning forwards and touching. I'm keeping my head out.

:12:23. > :12:33.That's fine. With all of the floats gone, Frank takes his feet off the

:12:33. > :12:38.

:12:38. > :12:46.floor for the first time. For the first time Frank is moving under

:12:46. > :12:52.his own steam, which is a massive step forward. My big brick wall

:12:52. > :13:00.fears, they don't start with me getting in the water. My big fears

:13:00. > :13:10.are still to come. No-one asked me, "Are you ready to transfer to the

:13:10. > :13:14.big pool?" It looks very big. And like many people, I might die here.

:13:14. > :13:18.With three weeks of swimming under his belt, it is Frank's breathing

:13:18. > :13:24.that is making him panic. Relax. What is going on with you at the

:13:24. > :13:28.moment, mate? Stand up properly, relax. I'm taking in air! Slow down.

:13:28. > :13:34.I'm fine. I need to know that I can put my feet down at any time if I'm

:13:34. > :13:38.just - if I do take my feet up, if I'm floating a bit. Get over this

:13:38. > :13:43.whole breathing issue. I'm trying. I know. Listen to what I am telling

:13:43. > :13:47.you. If a bit of water goes in. Don't worry about it. I know. For

:13:47. > :13:50.the first time for a few weeks, I have thought, "Maybe I can't do

:13:50. > :13:54.this." When you started, that would have been in your mind every day.

:13:54. > :13:58.That is what you have to think about. Even though you were

:13:58. > :14:04.thinking every day we have got this far. Think about it for a few

:14:04. > :14:10.seconds, it is not going to have an impact, it is fine. I don't have

:14:10. > :14:16.much time left. All I can do is just the old-fashioned method of

:14:16. > :14:25.sticking at it. It will be tight. I might do it. I might not. If

:14:25. > :14:30.someone said, "Do you think you will be able to swim a length on

:14:30. > :14:40.March 23rd?" and had a gun to my head, I would say, "No, I won't be

:14:40. > :14:48.

:14:48. > :14:53.Come on, Frank, the brave Frank Skinner! One in five adults in the

:14:53. > :14:57.UK cannot swim. Can he swim a length? Stay tuned. Now one of the

:14:57. > :15:01.things Sport Relief is committed to is helping people who live very

:15:01. > :15:06.difficult lives in slums around the world without access to water or

:15:06. > :15:09.proper healthcare. Once all of the money is in tonight we want to

:15:09. > :15:14.spend �10 million on projects in the world's poorest countries and

:15:14. > :15:17.to back your brilliant support, the Government department for

:15:17. > :15:23.International Development is going to match that money from their

:15:23. > :15:27.budget. That will mean a total of �20 million could be spent in slum

:15:27. > :15:31.areas bringing people clean water, toilets and basic healthcare. It

:15:31. > :15:34.will also make sure kids get a good education and support people to get

:15:34. > :15:44.jobs and improve their living conditions. Here is a short film

:15:44. > :15:45.

:15:45. > :15:50.from John Bishop showing how I'm in one of the biggest slums in

:15:50. > :15:55.Sierra Leone, a home to nearly 11,000 people. There's barely any

:15:55. > :16:01.running water here, any sanitation. This is where most people go to the

:16:01. > :16:07.toilet or wash their clothes. This place is extraordinary for all the

:16:07. > :16:17.wrong reasons. Thousands of the poorest of this country's people

:16:17. > :16:17.

:16:17. > :16:22.crammed into tiny shacks, like this family. Hello. I'm John. One, two,

:16:22. > :16:29.three, four, five, six, seven - there's eight. Eight. Eight of you.

:16:29. > :16:33.Without being disrespectful, this is basically the size of a small

:16:33. > :16:38.garden shed. You wouldn't want to spend a night here let alone all

:16:38. > :16:45.your life. This hut is on the edge of a sewage-filled river that

:16:45. > :16:51.regularly floods, so it is hard to comprehend how they have managed to

:16:51. > :16:56.survive these conditions. It turns out they haven't. Five children

:16:56. > :17:01.have been lost to preventable illnesses by living here.

:17:01. > :17:06.TRANSLATION: Some of them died of pneumonia and the others malaria.

:17:06. > :17:12.Because we don't have the money, we could not afford the proper

:17:12. > :17:16.medicines, so they died. How old.

:17:16. > :17:21.TRANSLATION: One-year-old, one year six months, three months, four

:17:21. > :17:28.months, five months. With everything that has happened to you,

:17:28. > :17:34.do you still have hope for your family? Yes. I still have hope

:17:34. > :17:41.because I am still alive. I may be one day, one of our kids will

:17:41. > :17:45.succeed and will help us -- and maybe one day, one of our kids will

:17:45. > :17:49.succeed and will help us all. children are battling to survive

:17:49. > :17:56.here. Your money has already paid for water taps to be installed.

:17:56. > :18:03.There is a much bigger problem. At this moment in time, there's 18

:18:03. > :18:12.toilets that work here. There's 10,900 people living here. That's

:18:12. > :18:22.an incomprehensible dilemma that we just don't face. But her

:18:22. > :18:39.

:18:39. > :18:45.granddaughter has to face it every You can see why. Can you imagine

:18:45. > :18:49.asking your 11-year-old daughter to go to a toilet into the river? I

:18:49. > :18:56.have come here to learn something. I wasn't expecting anything like

:18:56. > :19:02.this. She is a beautiful 11-year- old girl. Someone's daughter. She

:19:02. > :19:12.has to face this cesspit every day. What are your worries for the

:19:12. > :19:25.

:19:25. > :19:29.You lost your sister? And you worry No kid in the world should be

:19:29. > :19:39.worrying about dying. Kids at home worry about whether they have got

:19:39. > :19:41.

:19:41. > :19:50.the right trainers on. This is life and death. They have to hope, but

:19:50. > :19:59.you can provide the help. Please call 03457 910 910. Thank you.

:19:59. > :20:02.Thank you. �40 gets fresh, clean water to

:20:02. > :20:08.hundreds of families as we can provide a tap in the slums. That

:20:08. > :20:15.means you are helping thousands of people with �40, not often you can

:20:15. > :20:21.say that. Please call 03457 910 910. Now, can he do it? This is part two

:20:21. > :20:29.of the Frank Skinner Dipping Challenge. He has had eight weeks

:20:29. > :20:36.of training. He's faced his biggest fear. But can Frank Skinner swim 25

:20:36. > :20:40.metres for Sport Relief? His time has come. Welcome to this very

:20:40. > :20:44.special Sport Relief Challenge where we are hopefully going to see

:20:44. > :20:49.Frank Skinner swim the 25 metres of this pool. He is terrified. We have

:20:49. > :20:59.a crowd. We have cameras. We need our man. Please welcome Frank

:20:59. > :21:02.

:21:02. > :21:11.Skinner and Team Skinner. APPLAUSE How you doing? I'm... You are

:21:11. > :21:17.shaking? I am. A am -- I am nervous. Do you think you are going to do

:21:17. > :21:22.this? I have to do it. I'm going to try my best. I don't know if I'm

:21:22. > :21:26.going to do it. So everybody has their Everest and this is yours?

:21:26. > :21:32.whole life, when people say to me, "What are you frightened of?" Some

:21:32. > :21:37.people have to think about it. I say water. It has always been the

:21:37. > :21:41.bogey man. This is, for me, personally, and I am not comparing

:21:41. > :21:45.this to the great Sport Relief Challenges, but to me this is

:21:46. > :21:55.difficult. Good luck. I will let you get in and take your time.

:21:56. > :21:59.

:21:59. > :22:04.Cheers. Thank you. Come on, Frank. You can do it. Make me proud.

:22:04. > :22:14.Come on. APPLAUSE Let's go with the Sport Relief Challenge. On your

:22:14. > :22:25.

:22:25. > :22:29.A good start. A good leg kick. He needs to keep the leg kick going

:22:30. > :22:33.and stay relaxed. His back end is starting to sink. That is about

:22:33. > :22:38.keeping those legs going and that arm out in front, staying relaxed.

:22:38. > :22:43.When he starts to get nervous, his arms start going a bit quick.

:22:43. > :22:47.this a worrying time? It is, when his right arm starts to sink. He

:22:47. > :22:56.needs to get that arm out of the water. Stretching out, that is

:22:56. > :23:06.better. He is getting his arm out better. Come on, Frank. Come on!

:23:06. > :23:12.

:23:13. > :23:22.He's done it! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:23:23. > :23:27.

:23:27. > :23:37.Come on! Well done!

:23:37. > :23:41.

:23:41. > :23:46.Thank you very much. Unbelievable. How absolutely

:23:46. > :23:56.brilliant. Guess what? The man is here. It is the hero of the pool,

:23:56. > :24:11.

:24:11. > :24:21.Mr Frank Skinner. Well done. Frank, marvellous. What

:24:21. > :24:23.

:24:23. > :24:29.an effort? Has it sunk in? Can you smell the chlorine? It has sunk in.

:24:29. > :24:34.I feel a bit emotional now. Yeah, I really - March 23rd has been in my

:24:34. > :24:38.mind for a couple of months, not just because of it is the fabulous

:24:38. > :24:42.Sport Relief Day, but it is like D- Day. I looked at my phone today and

:24:42. > :24:47.I thought it is March 23rd and I'm not going to be able to do it. That

:24:47. > :24:51.moment when I touched the wall was... You DID do it! Things are

:24:51. > :25:01.about to get better. You are going to get that swimming badge now.

:25:01. > :25:01.

:25:01. > :25:11.There it is, attached to your shorts... Come on! What a moment.

:25:11. > :25:14.

:25:14. > :25:19.Massive congratulations. Look at that. Look at it! APPLAUSE Massive

:25:19. > :25:24.congratulations. You can keep your England caps! Eat your heart out

:25:24. > :25:28.John Bishop! He swam a length! Sorry. Time for another Sport

:25:28. > :25:38.Relief treat, the brilliant cast of Outnumbered, outnumbering Frank

:25:38. > :25:43.

:25:43. > :25:53.So what's your name? Karen. Um, we should be on our way shortly.

:25:53. > :25:56.

:25:56. > :26:06.I just won this in a competition Hmm, right.

:26:06. > :26:17.

:26:17. > :26:27.'Yeah. No, no, no, she's fine. She's got Frank Lampard.

:26:27. > :26:29.

:26:29. > :26:39.Right. Well, in case...she does

:26:39. > :26:42.

:26:42. > :26:51.Excuse me. You're Yes. I'm a massive fan.

:26:51. > :26:56.Thank you. To Jake, please. Jake? I'm also a big fan. Thank you.

:26:56. > :27:00.because Mum likes to seeing Anton use her as a big floor mop. Oh.

:27:00. > :27:04.Could you make one more to Dino, please? OK, yeah. Thank you.

:27:04. > :27:07.So you're here supporting your other- half? I am. Oh, Adrian Chiles?

:27:07. > :27:09.Oh, no, no.

:27:09. > :27:12.Adrian and I work together loads but, no, we're not married.

:27:12. > :27:16.Christine is engaged to Frank Lampard, who is a very lucky man.

:27:16. > :27:18.Why, thank you. He's not that lucky.

:27:18. > :27:22.That goal against Germany was way over the line.

:27:22. > :27:24.Dad called the ref a Nazi stooge. I...I didn't.

:27:24. > :27:28.I, um... Do you want to see him goose-stepping across the room? Ben!

:27:28. > :27:31.Um, Christine, could I have one more, please?

:27:31. > :27:35.Well, all I know is that last weekend I heard my dad shouting

:27:35. > :27:39.that you had missed a goal that my granny could have scored.

:27:39. > :27:41.We all miss the occasional easy one.

:27:41. > :27:45.It must've been really easy because- my granny's got a plastic hip.

:27:45. > :27:48.Well, we still won the game. And I made both the goals.

:27:48. > :27:51.Well, that's nothing to boast about.

:27:51. > :27:53.You just need a few bits of wood and a big net.

:27:53. > :27:56.No, no, I didn't mean... Anyone can make a goal.

:27:56. > :27:59.No, I meant, you know, I... That's just DIY. I meant I... Karen!

:27:59. > :28:01.Karen, try not to talk to Mr Lampard too much

:28:01. > :28:04.cos he's trying to focus on a big game.

:28:04. > :28:08.This is my mum, she fancies you. No, I don't.

:28:08. > :28:12.Oh, my... My god! Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. I've got some arnica in here.

:28:12. > :28:14.Excuse me, madam. I'm sorry. Yes.

:28:14. > :28:17.I'm sor... Karen, really, a lot of big game pressure.

:28:17. > :28:20.Yeah, I know all about big game pressure.

:28:20. > :28:23.I play netball for the school.

:28:23. > :28:31.Madam, if you could. Yes, of course. I'm sorry. (Zip it.)

:28:31. > :28:35.Football's much harder than netball.

:28:35. > :28:37.Actually this is a real coincidence

:28:37. > :28:39.because my daughter is Frank's mascot today.

:28:39. > :28:42.Really? Oh, gosh, she won't forget that in a hurry. No.

:28:42. > :28:45.And neither will he(!)

:28:45. > :28:47.Christine, could I have two more, please?

:28:47. > :28:49.One to Mikey with a Y and one to Josh.

:28:50. > :28:53.OK. Do you know what would make Dancing on Ice even better?

:28:53. > :28:55.What would that be? You were really great in that.

:28:55. > :28:59.Oh, thank you. If they had like these really thin patches of ice

:28:59. > :29:03.that the skaters would have to avoid. So like they're just skating along

:29:03. > :29:05.and suddenly they plummet through the ice like - BANG!

:29:05. > :29:11.Oh. Or giant, angry walruses.

:29:11. > :29:13.Um...

:29:13. > :29:15.Netball is so much harder than football,

:29:15. > :29:18.because in netball the net is really small

:29:18. > :29:20.and only just big enough to fit the ball through.

:29:20. > :29:22.Whereas in football, the net

:29:22. > :29:27.is like about 20,000 times bigger than the ball.

:29:27. > :29:29.It's not 20,000... The goals are huge,

:29:29. > :29:31.but you should know, you make them.- No, I don't. I...

:29:31. > :29:35.Also in netball, the net is really high up off the ground.

:29:35. > :29:38.It hasn't got a huge goalie guarding it, has it?

:29:38. > :29:41.Well, Amy Harrison's nearly six feet tall.

:29:41. > :29:43.Or a polar bear.

:29:43. > :29:47.Yeah, all right, we'll call it six quid. She's still talking to him?

:29:47. > :29:49.It hunts the skaters across the ice. Hmm.

:29:49. > :29:52.That's what the TV people call jeopardy. Well, stop her.

:29:52. > :29:53.You've got to stop her.

:29:53. > :29:57.I think a polar bear might pose a few health and safety issues.

:29:57. > :29:59.Stop her. Um, Christine, now could I have five, please,

:29:59. > :30:02.to no-one in particular?

:30:02. > :30:04.Are you selling these? Well, Christine,

:30:04. > :30:07.these are actually part of my business start-up project

:30:07. > :30:09.for this term's economics module.

:30:09. > :30:11.But you are selling them?

:30:11. > :30:13.I can cut you in. No, stop her. Narwhals...

:30:13. > :30:17.just like spearing up through the ice and the skater,

:30:17. > :30:20.maybe impaling someone.

:30:20. > :30:22.Football is definitely harder than netball, isn't it, lads?

:30:22. > :30:24.ALL: Yes.

:30:24. > :30:27.Well, of course you'd all say that.- Karen!

:30:27. > :30:30.Have any of them played netball? I have. I'm quite good.

:30:30. > :30:33.Karen, stop it!

:30:33. > :30:40.In netball... Sorry, everybody. Stop it!

:30:40. > :30:43.Most footballers have nicknames, don't they? Do you have one?

:30:43. > :30:46.No.

:30:46. > :30:51.Well, I'm sure my dad called you something when you missed that goal.

:30:51. > :30:54.KAREN SIGHS

:30:54. > :30:56.It'll come to me in a second.

:30:56. > :30:59.70/30? No. 60/40? She's not still?!

:30:59. > :31:01.My final offer. No, really, I can't so that.

:31:01. > :31:04.All right, 50/50. Does Frank ever get nervous before games?

:31:04. > :31:06.Um, yeah, yeah, a bit. What if I give a percentage to charity?

:31:06. > :31:09.No, honestly, that... I just. When he gets nervous, does he throw up?

:31:09. > :31:12.Because that's what I do when I get nervous. Oh, right.

:31:12. > :31:15.I'm feeling a bit nervous now.

:31:15. > :31:19.Right. Oh, there's a friend of mine over there!

:31:19. > :31:22.Um, I'm just going to go and catch up with her.

:31:22. > :31:24.60/40 and you can choose the charity.

:31:24. > :31:27.Oh. Excuse me, Christine, this is my wife.

:31:27. > :31:29.When Frank gets nervous,

:31:29. > :31:36.does a huge vein start throbbing behind his left ear?

:31:37. > :31:38.What's that armband?

:31:38. > :31:41.Is it a fashion thing? It means I'm captain.

:31:41. > :31:44.So you're in charge?

:31:44. > :31:48.Does that mean that if you lose, the newspapers will all blame YOU?

:31:48. > :31:58.I bet it does. Especially if you miss another EASY one.

:31:58. > :31:58.

:31:58. > :32:04.They'll probably stick your face on a picture of a vegetable.

:32:04. > :32:06.Frank, the ref doesn't have a mascot.

:32:06. > :32:08.He does now.

:32:08. > :32:10.So you're the ref.

:32:10. > :32:13.Um, yeah.

:32:13. > :32:23.And are you feeling confident?

:32:23. > :32:33.

:32:33. > :32:33.He

:32:33. > :32:34.He then

:32:34. > :32:36.He then punches

:32:36. > :32:46.He then punches the fourth official, he swallows his own whistle and

:32:46. > :32:52.

:32:52. > :32:57.just to round the day off, his APPLAUSE

:32:57. > :33:01.Great stuff. Now from one Frank to another, here is Frank Skinner to

:33:01. > :33:05.introduce this next film. There's been a fair bit of swimming in

:33:06. > :33:10.Sport Relief, from Strictly Come Dancing Underwater, to David

:33:10. > :33:14.Walliams' swim up the Thames, to me overcoming a phobia. Gary and his

:33:14. > :33:24.wife have visited a project in Bangladesh where teaching kids to

:33:24. > :33:24.

:33:24. > :33:28.swim is literally a matter of life We are here in Bangladesh to visit

:33:28. > :33:32.a brilliant project that is supported by Sport Relief. In the

:33:32. > :33:37.UK, most of us learn to swim at an early age, whether it is just for

:33:37. > :33:43.fun or for sport. Here, it is a skill that can quite literally save

:33:43. > :33:47.your life. Every single day in Bangladesh 50 children die from

:33:47. > :33:55.drowning and when the monsoon season hits this part of the world,

:33:55. > :34:01.severe flooding means that families have their whole lives washed-away.

:34:01. > :34:07.For this mother, it's a reality that she knows all too well. She

:34:07. > :34:17.lost her eldest son only a year ago. He was 11 years old. She wanted to

:34:17. > :34:56.

:34:56. > :35:02.Can your other son, he can swim Thank you so much for talking to us.

:35:02. > :35:12.It really is very brave of you. We have to make sure that your other

:35:12. > :35:17.

:35:17. > :35:27.It happened over there. Just in their own back garden, really.

:35:27. > :35:33.can't imagine... She is racked with guilt as well. They were just there

:35:33. > :35:38.playing and... Just fell in off his boat. Yeah. It is all over. So...

:35:38. > :35:48.But it's not a one-off, though. 50 a day. In the time we were talking

:35:48. > :35:52.

:35:52. > :35:56.to her, a child has died. Somewhere in Bangladesh. Crazy. Every day in

:35:56. > :36:01.Bangladesh, 50 grieving mothers go through the same unimaginable pain

:36:02. > :36:10.as Hosna. Help is at hand. Sport Relief funds a fantastic project

:36:10. > :36:14.that teaches children to swim, a valuable skill that saves lives.

:36:14. > :36:20.This inspiring scheme is helping to save the lives of hundreds of

:36:20. > :36:30.children across Bangladesh. Today, Hosna will see her youngest son get

:36:30. > :36:45.

:36:45. > :36:49.APPLAUSE The skills these kids are learning

:36:49. > :36:55.are saving lives every day. There is still thousands of children

:36:55. > :37:00.across Bangladesh at risk that need your help. 18,000 children die

:37:00. > :37:03.every year here through drowning. It is the leading cause of child

:37:03. > :37:08.death in Bangladesh. Tonight, your money can help pay for swimming

:37:08. > :37:15.lessons that could help save a child's life. So please, please

:37:15. > :37:20.give what you can. Call 03457 910 910.

:37:20. > :37:24.I have been there and seen it. It is properly amazing what they are

:37:24. > :37:32.doing there. You can help kids learn to swim because �5 is all it

:37:32. > :37:39.takes to teach one. So it is simple - �50 means ten kids learn to swim.

:37:39. > :37:47.Pick up the phone and call. Call 03457 910 910. In April, keep your

:37:47. > :37:53.eyes open for The Big Splash. Frank Skinner will be doing it! That is

:37:53. > :37:58.it from us two. Before we hand over to Dermot O'Leary and Davina McCall,

:37:58. > :38:02.we should just have a look at the first totaliser of the evening. Are

:38:02. > :38:08.we ready? AUDIENCE: Yes! I need more than

:38:08. > :38:18.that! Here we go. Let's see how generous you have been. Let's

:38:18. > :38:35.

:38:35. > :38:41.countdown - five, four, three, two, MUSIC: Firework

:38:41. > :38:46.By Katy Perry That's amazing. Incredible. You are

:38:46. > :38:50.fantastic. Thank you so much. That is a life-changing amount. So thank

:38:50. > :38:54.you. Absolutely. You have been amazing. Please keep being amazing.

:38:54. > :38:57.There's so much good stuff to come. Stay with us. Keep calling in and

:38:57. > :39:02.give what you can. Donate right now and you can sit back and enjoy the

:39:02. > :39:12.rest of the show. Thank you very much for watching our bit. Stay

:39:12. > :39:15.

:39:15. > :39:25.tuned, there! Don't move. Bye. Here for Sport Relief, it is Davina

:39:25. > :39:33.

:39:33. > :39:43.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, Sport Relief! Hello! Come on,

:39:43. > :39:46.

:39:46. > :39:50.Sport Relief! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, you

:39:50. > :39:57.wonderful people. What an unbelievable start to the show!

:39:57. > :40:03.CHEERING Sensational! What a way to kick-off the biggest Sport Relief

:40:03. > :40:08.ever - great comedy, great music and a fantastic-looking audience!

:40:08. > :40:13.APPLAUSE You know who you are! Fantastic-looking audience. You

:40:13. > :40:18.know who you are! And purely from an expert's perspective, the

:40:18. > :40:23.dancing at the top of the show was incredible. Oh yeah! I'm quite

:40:23. > :40:28.surprised you didn't fancy a dance yourself, with The X Factor and

:40:28. > :40:35.everything? No. No, no, no. Never crossed my mind. Absolutely not.

:40:35. > :40:45.Really? Well... Fleetingly! Yes. You rehearsed the routine? Yes, I

:40:45. > :40:46.

:40:46. > :40:56.have. Go on then, D. Thank you, Davina. CHEERING No, no, no really,

:40:56. > :41:27.

:41:27. > :41:37.don't! OK, five, six, seven, No, no, no. Was it too much? Too

:41:37. > :41:41.much? No. Not right. Enough of that. Was it? Sorry, Holly, sorry Tilly.

:41:41. > :41:49.Let's take a look at some of the treats we have got coming up.

:41:49. > :41:54.great action to come on Sport Relief. Miranda Hart throws up a

:41:54. > :41:59.comedy treat. JLS perform the Sport Relief single

:41:59. > :42:03.live. A sporty QI. I loved your

:42:03. > :42:13.impersonation of backstroke, Stephen! And live music from Snow

:42:13. > :42:19.Patrol. All still to come on Sport Relief. APPLAUSE Listen, this year,

:42:19. > :42:22.we have been spoilt with a plethora... Nice word!

:42:22. > :42:27.unbelievable Sport Relief Challenges. John Bishop... Legend.

:42:27. > :42:34.Survived his extraordinary week of hell. Helen Skelton, conquered the

:42:34. > :42:39.South Pole... Goddess. And they are all going to be here later on.

:42:39. > :42:45.time for a man who I can call a hero, a man who went the extra mile

:42:45. > :42:49.for Sport Relief and then went 139 more. I'm talking none other than

:42:49. > :42:54.His Royal Astoundingness Sir David of Walliams. Before we meet this

:42:54. > :42:59.super human being, let us take a look at how he took on the beast

:42:59. > :43:05.that is the River Thames and won. chose the Thames because I thought

:43:05. > :43:14.it would be an amazing challenge. I know people like to see people off

:43:14. > :43:20.the TV suffer! Argh! It is two degrees lower than the Channel. He

:43:20. > :43:26.will have to survive that for 140 miles. It depletes you when it is

:43:26. > :43:35.freezing cold. Don't worry about the shivering, it is natural.

:43:35. > :43:43.body is out of control. I wee in my wetsuit! It is so gruelling. It is

:43:43. > :43:50.like I'm going to vomit. That is one tired and sick man. Bodies are

:43:50. > :43:56.not meant to do this much swimming day after day. It is just constant

:43:56. > :44:06.pain now. Amazing. He is the most remarkable man. Tremendous.

:44:06. > :44:07.

:44:07. > :44:13.There's only two words for him - "phen" and "omenal"! Ladies and

:44:13. > :44:23.gentlemen, we give you Sport Relief's very own Super Mer-Man,

:44:23. > :44:37.

:44:37. > :44:42.David Walliams. I like your dancing. We liked it

:44:42. > :44:49.too much! My kids would hate it. David, the equivalent of seven

:44:49. > :44:54.English Channels. What were you thinking? Why did I do it? I

:44:54. > :44:58.thought it would not be as hard as it was. I thought it would be

:44:58. > :45:02.flowing towards London. I need to lie there and it will take me. It

:45:03. > :45:08.wasn't like that. I just thought mainly about food. LAUGHTER Let's

:45:08. > :45:18.talk about that, you got Thames tummy so early on. Did you think,

:45:18. > :45:19.

:45:19. > :45:24."This might take me out of this swim"? I hoped it would. I was

:45:24. > :45:33.seriously ill. I thought I was going to have a day out, a day out

:45:33. > :45:40.on the water, not a day out at the Chessington World of Adventures!

:45:40. > :45:45.The trainer, Professor Greg Whyte, he made me go back in the water. I

:45:45. > :45:49.thought, at least I am a bit nearer the finish line. The support you

:45:49. > :45:53.got from the public was incredible. I went through, you know, a lot of

:45:53. > :45:59.the country. So anyone who lived near the Thames could come out and

:45:59. > :46:03.cheer and wave. It was great. It did spur me on. Basically, I am a

:46:03. > :46:08.show-off. LAUGHTER If people are watching me, I will perform.

:46:08. > :46:11.went in the sea... I would still be swimming now if people were there!

:46:11. > :46:15.It was the most amazing feat. We are going to announce the total you

:46:15. > :46:19.have raised. Remember, it does include some of the money from BT

:46:19. > :46:29.that we talked about earlier. The grand total that David has raised

:46:29. > :46:34.

:46:34. > :46:43.Wow! Thank you. That is brilliant. Thank you. Seriously, well done.

:46:43. > :46:53.That is great. Thank you. Thank you. Please can somebody knight this man,

:46:53. > :46:53.

:46:53. > :46:57.please? That was so good. On behalf of Sport Relief, we thank you. It

:46:57. > :47:03.is fitting for David to introduce the next film as his trip to Kenya

:47:04. > :47:07.inspired him to do his challenge. Last year I went to Kisumu and met

:47:07. > :47:16.Philip. He is one of 20,000 children working or sleeping rough

:47:16. > :47:20.on the streets there. This is his This is Phillip. He is 12 years old

:47:20. > :47:30.and in his short life, he's had more than his fair share of

:47:30. > :47:41.

:47:41. > :47:45.Four years ago, Phillip's mum and dad died. With no-one to care for

:47:45. > :47:55.him, he found himself struggling to survive on the streets of Kisumu,

:47:55. > :47:59.

:47:59. > :48:04.So you can buy food? Yes. What about this? This one they do not

:48:04. > :48:10.take it. What about this? I take it. How long have you been doing this?

:48:10. > :48:20.Many years. Looking for the scrap metal. Sometimes he will hunt for

:48:20. > :48:33.

:48:33. > :48:37.scrap all day, but still not earn It is when the sun goes down that

:48:37. > :48:46.Phillip is most vulnerable. He and his friends stick together for

:48:46. > :48:50.protection. This is where you sleep? Here, down here. We put the

:48:50. > :48:59.boxes down here. This is in the middle of two busy, noisy roads?

:48:59. > :49:05.Yes. It is unimaginable that any child has to sleep like this. Make

:49:05. > :49:12.no mistake - life here is really hard. It is a life full of danger,

:49:12. > :49:18.sometimes even from other children. Do older boys come in the night and

:49:18. > :49:24.they try... Yes, they come here during the night and they start

:49:24. > :49:29.doing love with us. Have you been sexually assaulted? No. Only this

:49:29. > :49:33.boy. He has been. They are just little boys. They are little boys

:49:33. > :49:43.who should be in bunk beds and playing with toys and someone

:49:43. > :49:48.

:49:48. > :49:51.But there is a lifeline. Sport Relief funds a project where

:49:51. > :49:57.Phillip and children like him can escape for a few hours and get to

:49:57. > :50:01.be kids again. In time, a place like this will help Phillip get off

:50:01. > :50:11.the streets for good, but, for now at least, it is a safe place where

:50:11. > :50:30.

:50:30. > :50:40.It is OK to be sad. It's been a real privilege to meet you. Thanks.

:50:40. > :50:55.

:50:55. > :51:02.As you sit at home watching tonight, there's thousands of children like

:51:02. > :51:07.Phillip who call the streets home, scared, cold and alone. With your

:51:07. > :51:14.money, we can try and help them, keep them safe and make sure they

:51:14. > :51:21.know that someone cares. Please give what you can. You know the

:51:21. > :51:31.number - 03457 910 910. Or go online and give what you can. Thank

:51:31. > :51:34.Meeting Phillip has changed me forever. Tonight, we have got to

:51:34. > :51:41.change things. We have got to stop children like Phillip from sleeping

:51:41. > :51:45.in a huddle on the streets. That drop-in centre costs just �30 a day

:51:45. > :51:50.to run, 30 quid, and hundreds of children get a break from that

:51:50. > :51:54.dreadful life on the street. 50 quid will feed 100 Phillips for a

:51:54. > :52:00.week. Please give what you can. I have seen for myself what a huge

:52:00. > :52:04.difference your money makes. Please call 03457 910 910. There's

:52:04. > :52:09.somebody else that would like to say a little thank you to you.

:52:09. > :52:14.Have a look. Hi, David. I just like to thank you for everything that

:52:14. > :52:17.you have done in my life. Here is the book that you sent for me. I

:52:17. > :52:22.come with it from school. I like the pictures where you are swimming.

:52:22. > :52:32.I would just like to tell you that where I am now is a good place and

:52:32. > :52:32.

:52:32. > :52:38.I wish you good luck. Thank you. APPLAUSE Mr Walliams, we and the

:52:38. > :52:44.entire audience here salute you. Thank you. Thank you, David. But

:52:44. > :52:48.this is not goodbye to David. He will be back later on when he will

:52:48. > :52:53.be here for more fun with Miranda Hart and take the Sport Relief

:52:53. > :53:00.party into the night. I saw the rehearsals - anything could happen!

:53:00. > :53:05.Yikes! If you can't wait, Miranda is here getting into a spot of

:53:05. > :53:15.bother with Penny and Stevie. This is Miranda and the Albert Hall.

:53:15. > :53:26.

:53:26. > :53:36.Oh, yes. That man played an ace We can have a little RACKET

:53:36. > :53:53.

:53:53. > :54:03.I'd never risk exposing her The baton is a salami stick -

:54:03. > :54:07.

:54:07. > :54:17.# La-la-la... Oh, I'm so sorry...

:54:17. > :54:19.

:54:19. > :54:26.It's not the Ten O'Clock News now, Not that I'm saying

:54:26. > :54:29.WHAT are you wearing? I thought, "Albert Hall - Proms!"

:54:29. > :54:33.You look like a rugby player on a stag weekend. Rude! Stop it.

:54:33. > :54:40.You look like an absolute MORON! Ssh!

:54:40. > :54:43.Will you get your meaty stick out of my face?

:54:43. > :54:46.There's a joke there somewhere. Quick!

:54:47. > :54:50.Right, I'll go home and change. No time. You'll miss everything.

:54:50. > :54:53.I'm not that bothered about the tennis. It's not about the tennis!

:54:53. > :54:56.There are men here, men who are what I call tall.

:54:56. > :54:59.BOTH: It IS tall! Rich men.

:54:59. > :55:05.Tall rich men with bulging thighs. Oh, I might stick around. Yeah.

:55:05. > :55:09.Look, it's Virginia Wade. Dame Virginia... Lady Wadey.

:55:09. > :55:12.Your Royal Tennis-ness.

:55:12. > :55:18.Excuse me. I'm needed in the VIP room. So are we. There will be men.

:55:18. > :55:21.We are VVV much needed in the VIP room.

:55:21. > :55:25.OMG LOL, because we are all M-I-P-T-Y's.

:55:25. > :55:28.MIPTY?! More Important People Than You.

:55:28. > :55:31.Such fun(!)

:55:31. > :55:38.Did she say, "Such fun"? Follow her! Quick! Follow her! VIP room!

:55:38. > :55:44.We're in! We're in! Now, act casual. Subtly look around for men.

:55:44. > :55:48.Think cazhj.

:55:48. > :55:53.You're looking very strange. I'm trying to be casual.

:55:53. > :55:57.Ohhh! It's Robbie Savage, Robbie Savage! Robbie Savage!

:55:57. > :56:01.Cool! Cool. Um, hello. Hello. I'm Penny.

:56:01. > :56:04.Hello. This is my daughter Miranda.

:56:05. > :56:09.I'll just... Hello. Nice to meet you.

:56:09. > :56:12.Ahhh! Savage. Sav-age!

:56:12. > :56:14.Sav-age!

:56:14. > :56:17.You can savage me.

:56:17. > :56:19.What am I doing?

:56:19. > :56:23.Ciao-ciao. Ring me.

:56:23. > :56:26.Oh! It's Mo Farah! OK, leave this to me.

:56:26. > :56:29.Yo, Mo, hello.

:56:29. > :56:31.I'll be fine.

:56:31. > :56:34.So, Mo, Mo Farrow & Ball.

:56:35. > :56:37.Mighty Mo. Big Mo.

:56:37. > :56:42.A mo-jito! A Mo-na Lisa!

:56:42. > :56:45.A Mo-Mo a-go-go.

:56:45. > :56:48.He's a-gone gone!

:56:48. > :56:51.Why do you have to be my daughter?

:56:51. > :56:53.Well, it's just the way it goes, isn't it? Weird.

:56:53. > :56:58.I defy you to do better. Right, fine.

:56:58. > :57:01.Joe Calzaghe! Joe Calzaghe.

:57:01. > :57:04.Hello, Joe. How are you doing?

:57:04. > :57:07.What say you and I engage in some sexual sparring?

:57:07. > :57:10.Ding-ding. Round one!

:57:10. > :57:15.Bash, bash, boom! Bash, bang, bang! Boom...

:57:15. > :57:18.Oh, I'm so s-sorry, Ms Balding. So sorry.

:57:18. > :57:21.Sorry.

:57:21. > :57:23.And I'm weird?

:57:23. > :57:26.It's imposs to be cazhj around famous people. I know!

:57:26. > :57:31.I put my bum in Clare Balding's face. Can we keep that quiet?

:57:31. > :57:37.Mancini! Oh, it's too much.

:57:37. > :57:40.That was Mancini!ALL SHRIEK

:57:41. > :57:43.Hey! What's going on over there? Come here. Who are you lot?

:57:43. > :57:46.Have you got passes? Who are we?

:57:46. > :57:50.Well, that is very rude, for we are athletes.

:57:50. > :57:53.Yeah.

:57:53. > :57:57.This is... Hello. My name is Pavlova.

:57:57. > :58:00.I am a Russian gymnast.

:58:00. > :58:05.This is gymnast. Hee! Hee! Hee!

:58:05. > :58:10.That was gymnast. And, um, I am... She's a heavyweight.

:58:10. > :58:15.I thought I recognised you. Yes, I am a heavyweight boxer. Lifter.

:58:15. > :58:19.I lift heavy boxes and stuff. Yeah. Watch me lift.

:58:19. > :58:24.Come on, then.SHE STRAINS

:58:24. > :58:26.I think you've been eating too many crisps, Gaz, cos...

:58:26. > :58:29.Oh, my back. Come on, who are you? Really?

:58:29. > :58:32.Um...Sue Barker. This is Sue Barker.

:58:32. > :58:36.No, I'm Sue Barker.BOTH GASP

:58:36. > :58:40.I don't think so! This is Sue Barker. I am Sue Barker.

:58:40. > :58:43.No, I AM Sue Barker. Well, we've only got your word for that.

:58:43. > :58:46.You are not Sue Barker. I don't know who you are.

:58:46. > :58:48.Clearly an imposter.

:58:48. > :58:50.She shouldn't be in this VIP room, Gary.

:58:51. > :58:53.What does she know about tennis? This is Sue Barker.

:58:53. > :58:55.Get her out, Gaz. Get her out.

:58:56. > :58:58.HE SIGHS

:58:58. > :59:01.No, that's Sue Barker. Shut up, Torvill!

:59:01. > :59:04.You are skating on very thin ice.

:59:04. > :59:06.Sue, how are you? Hello!

:59:06. > :59:08.Oh, fantastic Question Of Sport the other day. Absolutely loved it.

:59:08. > :59:13.You nailed it. I'm Sue Barker. I'm Sue Barker. No, I'M Sue Barker.

:59:13. > :59:15.I'm Sue Barker. No, no, stop! Enough of this, Balding!

:59:15. > :59:17.ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

:59:17. > :59:26.Oh! Cricketers.

:59:26. > :59:31.Whoo-hoo! Lads! Catch!THUD!

:59:31. > :59:35.Ooh! So sorry. Hello. Sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry, Your Majesties.

:59:35. > :59:38.That is wholly inappropriate.

:59:38. > :59:42.Oh, look! Goran Ivanisevic! Now, he is the perfect man.

:59:42. > :59:46.Bit out of your league. Try and keep- it a tiny bit real, girlfriend.

:59:46. > :59:50.What is this? I'm just keeping it in the celebrity groove.

:59:50. > :59:54.No, come on. Me and Goran. A bit out of your league!

:59:54. > :00:00.All right, Paula. Now jog on! Ideally for 26.2 miles.

:00:00. > :00:04.Miranda! Excuse me, Jessica Ennis!

:00:04. > :00:06.Miranda, you're never going to believe who's here.

:00:06. > :00:10.My long-term crush, Michael Owen. Ohh!

:00:10. > :00:14.Is that his real size, or has someone put him on a hot wash?

:00:14. > :00:19.And look who he's with! James Cracknell! He is perfect for you.

:00:19. > :00:23.Oh, I wouldn't mind striking gold with a bit of cracknel!

:00:23. > :00:25.THEY GIGGLE

:00:26. > :00:28.Ssh. Calm down.

:00:28. > :00:34.Oh, he winked. He winked at me. Did you see that? OK. All right.

:00:34. > :00:38.What do we do? Smile.

:00:38. > :00:43.You all right, Mo?

:00:43. > :00:45.He waved at me.

:00:45. > :00:49.And called me Mo, which clearly stands for Mo-st Definitely Would.

:00:49. > :00:55.We are so in there. Oh, yeah.

:00:55. > :01:00.Why aren't they coming over? Do you know what I think it is?

:01:00. > :01:04.I think they're intimidated by the dress. Oh, you're so right.

:01:04. > :01:09.If I wasn't wearing this dress, they'd be all over us.

:01:09. > :01:10.He winked again.

:01:10. > :01:20.OK, let's get out of here, we'll get you out of that, and plan. OK.

:01:20. > :01:25.

:01:25. > :01:25.Love

:01:25. > :01:26.Love that.

:01:26. > :01:35.Love that. Genius.

:01:35. > :01:39.Love that. Genius. More of Miranda coming newspaper a mo. I'm Sue

:01:39. > :01:49.Barker. Miranda did that stech because earlier this year she went

:01:49. > :01:53.

:01:53. > :02:02.to Uganda to see why we need your This is Bwaise,

:02:02. > :02:07.Here, all the human, animal but in the rainy season,

:02:07. > :02:09.And so there will be sewage and waste everywhere,

:02:09. > :02:11.and you can imagine that the consequences of that are dire.

:02:11. > :02:13.In some parts of the slum,

:02:13. > :02:17.you can see how your money can make a difference.

:02:17. > :02:19.There are drains coming down from their houses

:02:19. > :02:21.into this main one here,

:02:21. > :02:25.which is high enough so that in the wet season it doesn't flood.

:02:25. > :02:27.It's nothing fancy but it works.

:02:27. > :02:29.There are parts of Bwaise

:02:29. > :02:32.where there aren't any of these big drains

:02:32. > :02:36.to carry the sewage and flood water away.

:02:36. > :02:38.Ayisha and her children, Derek and Marjorie,

:02:38. > :02:42.are at risk every time it rains.

:02:42. > :02:48.When the rains come, tell me what happens.

:02:48. > :02:54.TRANSLATION: When the floods come, we are very worried,

:02:54. > :02:56.because we cannot even get out of the house.

:02:56. > :03:01.What happened to you two years ago when the floods came?

:03:01. > :03:05.The most painful thing, I lost my child.

:03:05. > :03:11.And what was her name?

:03:11. > :03:13.Christine.

:03:13. > :03:21.Ayisha's baby Christine died,

:03:21. > :03:25.because raw sewage flooded her house

:03:25. > :03:27.because of a lack of a drainage system.

:03:27. > :03:29.We take drains for granted in the UK.

:03:29. > :03:34.They are not sexy or glamorous, but here they are vital.

:03:34. > :03:36.Christine was six months old.

:03:36. > :03:42.A young life lost to an avoidable illness.

:03:42. > :03:45.On that fateful day, there was a lot of water here.

:03:45. > :03:47.Christine wanted a drink.

:03:47. > :03:55.That was when she fell off the bed.

:03:55. > :03:57.The raw sewage gave Christine severe diarrhoea,

:03:58. > :04:04.and she died three days later.

:04:04. > :04:07.I'm sorry.

:04:08. > :04:10.TRANSLATION: Each time it rains, I become so worried.

:04:10. > :04:14.I always think that maybe what happened to my baby

:04:14. > :04:19.will happen to my other children too.

:04:19. > :04:28.This filthy water is a daily reminder of Christine's death.

:04:28. > :04:38.So please, for them, pick up the phone and call...

:04:38. > :04:43.

:04:43. > :04:43.Tough

:04:43. > :04:44.Tough watch.

:04:44. > :04:46.Tough watch. Drains

:04:46. > :04:52.Tough watch. Drains aren't particularly glamorous are they?

:04:52. > :04:56.But we know they are vitally important. They are life savers.

:04:56. > :05:00.They stop filthy flood water ruining people's lives. �35 could

:05:00. > :05:05.connect a home to the drains and keep families safe. It's not a

:05:05. > :05:11.small amount of money. But you could save a family's life. Now

:05:11. > :05:15.another huge thank you. This time we've enlisted John Motson to help

:05:15. > :05:20.us out. The Premier League have been working wonders for Sport

:05:20. > :05:23.Relief and have shown their support from modelling T-shirts, auctions

:05:23. > :05:29.and even a spot of acting. This is the first time that you've faced

:05:29. > :05:35.the Tudors? Who? What drama here. Let's hear from his manager.

:05:35. > :05:39.many calls from Hollywood asking to sign up Defoe? None whatsoever. No

:05:39. > :05:46.just concentrating on the job here and we've not heard from anybody,

:05:46. > :05:50.no. Wayne and Rio held a ping-pong tournament. Sir Alex Ferguson gave

:05:50. > :05:58.us hills thoughts. Don't you think Rio was showing off a bit. Maybe

:05:58. > :06:02.that's the kind of character he is. A few popped out for a stroll.

:06:02. > :06:08.Didn't Mancini look delightful. you enjoy looking like an elf for

:06:08. > :06:11.Sport Relief? Yes, I enjoy. looked pretty cool. Very cool.

:06:11. > :06:21.fantastic effort all round, thanks to everyone involved you scored a

:06:21. > :06:25.

:06:25. > :06:30.blinder for Sport Relief. Thank you so much to Motty, aka

:06:30. > :06:36.John Culshaw. It gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside, just there.

:06:36. > :06:41.Oh, Dermot. To reveal that the Premier League has donated a

:06:41. > :06:47.fantastic �250,000! APPLAUSE

:06:47. > :06:57.Now when we last saw her, Miranda had terrified Robbie Savage, scare

:06:57. > :07:07.Roberto Mancini and Claire bald bald, so here it is Miranda part

:07:07. > :07:10.What can I wear? You look needy and desperate.

:07:10. > :07:11.Where can I change? I need a room to change in.

:07:12. > :07:15.I need a sort of changing room. Is it...? Whoa.

:07:15. > :07:20.(There's no-one here. Perfect.)

:07:20. > :07:24.Oh, look! A thong! Do you think he'd like me in a thong?

:07:24. > :07:28.He looks like a thong sort of a man, doesn't he?

:07:28. > :07:33.What am I going to do? A tennis kit.

:07:33. > :07:38.It's a man's tennis kit. Exactly. Twill fit. Oh, rude!

:07:38. > :07:42.No, I'll tell you what size you'll look in that outfit. Size sexy baby.

:07:42. > :07:46.Men love a sporty look. Get those legs out! Huh?

:07:46. > :07:56.Excuse me, I have a thong to get on.

:07:56. > :07:59.

:07:59. > :08:04.Mr Ivanisevic, your match is starting. Please come with me.

:08:04. > :08:08.Mr Ivanisevic? Sorry, there's been a misunderstanding.

:08:08. > :08:13.No misunderstanding. You're on next.

:08:13. > :08:17.He looked straight at me and still thought I was Goran Ivanisevic!

:08:17. > :08:21.Come on! It's one thing from the back... Quick as you can, please.

:08:21. > :08:23.Why can't I get mistaken for Kournikova?!

:08:23. > :08:25.Play starts in two minutes. Excuse me, young chap.

:08:25. > :08:30.Will you wait here? There's been a mistake.

:08:30. > :08:34.Miranda?

:08:34. > :08:38.Hey, where is my kit?!

:08:38. > :08:41.Miranda? Ooh!

:08:41. > :08:46.Ow! Rr-rrgh! Rr-rrgh! What are you doing?

:08:46. > :08:49.Oh, I thought...you winked at me. See, you just did it again.

:08:50. > :08:54.No, I've got dodgy new contact lenses.

:08:54. > :08:56.Oh, right. Well, you know... Your loss.

:08:56. > :08:57.Your loss, my little elfin friend.

:08:57. > :08:59.Tomorrow, you'll be playing with Wayne Rooney,

:08:59. > :09:06.I'll be playing with these bad boys. And a bop and a boff.

:09:06. > :09:08.The thing is, I really think there's been a bit of...

:09:08. > :09:15.Oh, God, it's Tiger Tim. Nice Goran. up. What? Why? Hurry shave,

:09:15. > :09:19.Listen, I really think you should check in the dressing room.

:09:19. > :09:24.He's clearly still down there. Ooh!- Sorry. You're such a card, Goran.

:09:24. > :09:27.Where's Miranda? I thought she was with you. No.

:09:28. > :09:32.'Would you please welcome Tim Henman and Goran Ivanisevic!'

:09:32. > :09:42.What on earth...?!

:09:42. > :09:48.Quick! Do something! How can we stop her?

:09:48. > :09:51.It's tails. I'll serve.

:09:51. > :09:56.I mean, I might as well. It's only Henman.

:09:56. > :10:04.We must stop this. Oh! She's elected to serve.

:10:05. > :10:09.0-15.

:10:09. > :10:13.This is mortifying.

:10:13. > :10:17.0-30.

:10:17. > :10:19.It came back quite fast...

:10:19. > :10:21.She'll never find a husband

:10:21. > :10:31.if gets out she's been mistaken for a male tennis player... Oh.

:10:31. > :10:36.

:10:37. > :10:38.CHEERING

:10:38. > :10:39.She got a point!

:10:39. > :10:40.Goran! Goran!

:10:40. > :10:43.CROWD: Goran! Goran!

:10:43. > :10:49.MUSIC: "Rocky" Theme Tune

:10:49. > :10:51.Come on, Tim!

:10:51. > :11:01.Come on, Goran!

:11:01. > :11:14.

:11:14. > :11:18.Advantage Ivanisevic!

:11:18. > :11:23.Goran! Goran! Goran! Go...

:11:23. > :11:30.Excusez moi, s'il vous plait. Merci, Leconte.

:11:30. > :11:37.What are you doing? Putting us all out of our misery.

:11:37. > :11:38.Ohhh!

:11:38. > :11:45.Ohh. She's down.

:11:45. > :11:50.Goran? You all right? Thank you. You all right?

:11:50. > :11:57.You all right? Yeah.

:11:57. > :12:02.Oh, gosh. Hmm. Hello, Mr Ivanisevic, sir.

:12:02. > :12:09.Um...sorry, I'm wearing your kit. It's just... You look hot.

:12:09. > :12:13.Yeah, I'm a bit sweaty. I started your match. We're in the lead.

:12:13. > :12:18.Which is... I mean hot hot. Great ankles.

:12:18. > :12:25.Ohh!

:12:25. > :12:31.Size sexy!

:12:31. > :12:36.Mr Lendl, your match with McEnroe in two minutes' time, please.

:12:36. > :12:46.Might as well. See you later.

:12:46. > :12:53.

:12:53. > :12:54.That

:12:54. > :12:54.That was

:12:54. > :13:01.That was great.

:13:01. > :13:07.That was great. Like the kiss. Now I know what the Gor in Goran

:13:07. > :13:12.Ivanisevic stands for. Gor-geous. You lucky girl. If you want to see

:13:12. > :13:17.the making of that sketch, download it now along with other great stuff.

:13:17. > :13:22.Thousands of you have been down lieding Sport Relief highlights on

:13:22. > :13:27.iTunes helping us raise more cash. Still to come, Snow Patrol and Kate

:13:27. > :13:32.Moss stars in a fabulous edition of absolutely fabulous. In a UK

:13:32. > :13:42.television exclusive, we have the very first Britain's Got Talent

:13:42. > :13:42.

:13:42. > :13:47.ever with the new judges! Intrigued, aren't you? Brilliant. So, over a

:13:47. > :13:53.night like tonight, I know we tell you a lot of shocking statistics,

:13:53. > :14:00.and here is a really dreadful one n. Africa, over a million children die

:14:00. > :14:05.of diarrhoea every year and I'm going to say that again, one

:14:05. > :14:10.million children die every year. It's just wrong and I cannot even

:14:10. > :14:15.bear to say it because children are dying from diarrhoea. It's entirely

:14:15. > :14:21.preventable and we're going to make prevention our business tonight. We

:14:21. > :14:26.can prevent needless deaths in many ways by providing vaccines, malaria

:14:26. > :14:31.nets, clean water, you know, they're such simple things and they

:14:32. > :14:36.don't cost much money, but they make a huge difference. In the film

:14:36. > :14:39.we're about to show you, John Bishop goes to Sierra Leone to see

:14:39. > :14:46.what happens when children don't get access to all these things that

:14:46. > :14:56.we just take for granted. It is a tough watch. It's why we're here

:14:56. > :14:58.

:14:58. > :15:01.This Children's Hospital is the only This country has one of the worst

:15:01. > :15:03.in the world for preventable illnesses

:15:03. > :15:05.like diarrhoea and pneumonia.

:15:05. > :15:11.This hospital is on the front line of a very unfair fight.

:15:11. > :15:14.This is the first point of call

:15:14. > :15:17.for the parents with some of the sickest children.

:15:17. > :15:23.As you can see, there's some desperate cases.

:15:23. > :15:25.You can hardly imagine what it feels like

:15:25. > :15:35.to know that some of the children in here

:15:35. > :15:37.are possibly not going to make it.

:15:37. > :15:47.It's heart-breaking to see.

:15:47. > :15:50.

:15:50. > :15:54.It's 9am, and already for two families today,

:15:54. > :15:57.the worst has happened.

:15:57. > :16:02.What you're looking at is the body of a child

:16:02. > :16:08.that came in last night with diarrhoea.

:16:08. > :16:10.It's a three-year-old boy.

:16:10. > :16:16.They arrived at the hospital at 3am,

:16:16. > :16:21.and he was dead at 5am with severe diarrhoea.

:16:21. > :16:24.It's impossible for any parent to not be here

:16:24. > :16:27.and have your heart ripped out,

:16:27. > :16:30.because there's no parent who can imagine

:16:30. > :16:34.what it's like to lose a child,

:16:34. > :16:42.but to lose it for something that could be prevented.

:16:42. > :16:44.Nadia is here with her daughter.

:16:44. > :16:47.She has severe pneumonia.

:16:47. > :16:51.She has spent every minute of the last 72 hours praying

:16:51. > :16:56.that her child won't end up the same way.

:16:56. > :17:01.This is a scary place to be for any parent.

:17:01. > :17:06.I've got three boys in England, big boys.

:17:06. > :17:16.I've never been scared that they won't survive.

:17:16. > :17:25.

:17:25. > :17:27.And sometimes hope is all there is.

:17:27. > :17:31.One in five children in Sierra Leone don't make it to the age of five.

:17:31. > :17:41.Across the way, another child has become a terrible statistic.

:17:41. > :17:48.

:17:48. > :17:53.This may happen here every day, but the grief is always unbearable.

:17:53. > :18:03.I can't imagine what it must feel like to come...

:18:03. > :18:04.

:18:04. > :18:14.I can't imagine what it must feel like to come...

:18:14. > :18:14.

:18:14. > :18:18.to come and have to take your child home to bury them

:18:18. > :18:26.less than 24 hours after you brought them here.

:18:26. > :18:29.That's how severe this is.

:18:29. > :18:33.That's how close we are to death.

:18:33. > :18:39.And every single child has died from a preventable disease.

:18:39. > :18:49.So please give what you can.

:18:49. > :18:52.

:18:52. > :18:52.John's

:18:52. > :18:52.John's here

:18:52. > :18:55.John's here with

:18:55. > :18:58.John's here with me now. That's the first time I've seen that film

:18:58. > :19:04.since I went over. I've got to be honest with you, in the world that

:19:04. > :19:08.we live in, you sometimes forget how lucky we are. That's a vaccine

:19:08. > :19:14.that could have saved those children. In the first hour I was

:19:14. > :19:20.in that hospital, three babies died. Every parent sat at home now, can

:19:20. > :19:27.you imagine what that must feel like, if you lose a child, but lose

:19:27. > :19:35.it for something that cost the same amount as two cups of cappuccino?

:19:35. > :19:41.It's negligible. But you can save it. You can change A life now,

:19:41. > :19:46.that's the power that you've got. You could pick up your phone and

:19:46. > :19:50.literally save lives. That's all we're asking you to do, not to give

:19:50. > :19:56.up anything that you've got, but to give a small piece away to buy

:19:56. > :19:59.something that's even smaller, but will be so much bigger because

:19:59. > :20:03.someone somewhere will be alive next year because you made a phone

:20:03. > :20:13.call tonight. Thanks, please give what you can.

:20:13. > :20:15.

:20:15. > :20:19.APPLAUSE 03457 910 910. Here with their

:20:19. > :20:26.beautiful song are Snow Patrol. The band have asked please give what

:20:26. > :20:36.you can Jon Leyne while they're performing. -- online while they're

:20:36. > :20:42.

:20:42. > :20:49.# If you were here beside me # If the curve of you

:20:49. > :20:55.# I'd tell you that I loved you before I ever knew you

:20:55. > :21:02.# Cos I loved the simple thought of you

:21:03. > :21:09.# If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending

:21:09. > :21:16.# There's so much this hurt can teach us both

:21:16. > :21:20.# There's distance and there's silence

:21:20. > :21:24.# Your words have never left me

:21:24. > :21:31.# They're the prayer that I say every day

:21:31. > :21:38.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:21:38. > :21:44.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:21:44. > :21:54.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:21:54. > :22:05.

:22:06. > :22:13.Come on, come out, come here The lone neon nights

:22:13. > :22:19.# I miss it all, from the love to the lightning

:22:19. > :22:26.# And the lack of it snaps me in two

:22:26. > :22:34.# If you were here beside me instead of in New York

:22:34. > :22:41.# In the arms you said you'd never leave

:22:41. > :22:47.# I'd tell you that it's simple and it was only ever thus

:22:47. > :22:54.# There is nowhere else that I belong

:22:54. > :23:01.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:23:01. > :23:07.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:23:07. > :23:17.# Come on, come out, come here come here

:23:17. > :23:23.

:23:23. > :23:33.And the fire that was starting Come on, come out, come here

:23:33. > :23:35.

:23:35. > :23:42.# I miss it all from the love to the lightning

:23:42. > :23:49.# And the lack of it snaps me in two

:23:50. > :23:56.# Just give me a sign There's an end and not beginning

:23:56. > :24:03.# To the quiet chaos driving me mad

:24:03. > :24:10.# The lone neon nights and the walls of the ocean

:24:10. > :24:18.# And the fire that is starting to go out. #

:24:18. > :24:28.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:24:28. > :24:34.

:24:34. > :24:35.Thank

:24:35. > :24:35.Thank you

:24:35. > :24:39.Thank you so

:24:40. > :24:47.Thank you so much to the wonderful Snow Patrol. Thank you. Thanks,

:24:47. > :24:52.guys. And come here a minute, I just want

:24:52. > :24:57.to say, you, you there, you... guy. Yeah, that one there, thank

:24:57. > :25:01.you. Did you just donate? Thank you. Thank you very much. Definitely. I

:25:01. > :25:06.like that guy. More from Snow Patrol later in the show. They're

:25:07. > :25:10.back to perform their all-time classic Chasing Cars. Get the

:25:10. > :25:20.lighters out. Time now to say another thank you. Here's the most

:25:20. > :25:26.

:25:26. > :25:34.powerful man on the planet to do Something that says to me,

:25:34. > :25:39.who could sing a smash hit The staff at SportsDirect.com

:25:39. > :25:49.They've been pulling out and helping raise a serious amount

:25:49. > :25:50.

:25:50. > :26:00.I've got a horrible feeling But reality check - I've got to say,

:26:00. > :26:05.

:26:05. > :26:11.Two million per cent who bought one of these fabulous

:26:11. > :26:21.and helped raise a serious amount Hey, I'm just saying

:26:21. > :26:28.

:26:28. > :26:38.Thank you so much. I can reveal that the staff and customers of

:26:38. > :26:47.

:26:47. > :26:51.Sports Direct.com have raised a APPLAUSE

:26:51. > :26:54.All right, this is going to be tough, but a little while ago we

:26:54. > :26:57.showed you what happened when John Bishop visited a Children's

:26:57. > :27:01.Hospital in Sierra Leone. We have been overwhelmed by your response.

:27:01. > :27:11.So as tough as this is to watch, we're going to remind you how tough

:27:11. > :27:23.

:27:23. > :27:33...the body of a child that came in He arrived at the hospital at 3:00am-

:27:33. > :27:40.

:27:40. > :27:50.It's impossible for any parent 'The awful sound of heartbreak

:27:50. > :27:53.

:27:53. > :27:57.I can't imagine what it must to come and have to take

:27:57. > :28:03.less than 24 hours after you've brought them here.

:28:03. > :28:05.That's how close we are to death,

:28:05. > :28:09.and every single child has died from a preventable disease.

:28:09. > :28:19.So please give what you can.

:28:19. > :28:23.

:28:23. > :28:24.Please,

:28:24. > :28:24.Please, please

:28:24. > :28:31.Please, please pick

:28:31. > :28:33.Please, please pick up the phone. Thank you. So, so important. Thank

:28:33. > :28:36.Thank you. So, so important. Thank you. Now Around the country all of

:28:36. > :28:41.you have been doing totally brilliant things for Sport Relief

:28:41. > :28:46.and we just want to say a massive thank you. And to say such a big

:28:46. > :28:51.thank you, we needed to enlist the help of a really big voice, a

:28:51. > :28:57.massive voice, a giant, beautiful voice. They don't come much bigger

:28:57. > :29:07.than this. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome injury Tom Jones!

:29:07. > :29:07.

:29:07. > :29:15.APPLAUSE -- welcome Sir Tom Jones!

:29:15. > :29:22.APPLAUSE Sir Tom is coaching on The Voice,

:29:22. > :29:28.which starts, I can't believe I'm plugging it! Which starts tomorrow

:29:28. > :29:33.on BBC One, what is it 11pm, 12am? 7pm! I know. You're not talking

:29:33. > :29:39.about that. No, I'm here to say thank you to all of you out there,

:29:39. > :29:42.up and down the country who've gone the extra mile for preef this year.

:29:42. > :29:51.Let's -- Sport Relief this year. Let's see what you've all been up

:29:51. > :29:56.From north to south, east to west, you made a difference. You are the

:29:56. > :30:03.best. Whether climbing, skating or

:30:03. > :30:07.swimming a mile, you always limbered up in true style. On ships,

:30:07. > :30:12.riding bikes or fitness machines, you put on your kit and went out in

:30:12. > :30:19.teams. With family and friends or going

:30:19. > :30:26.alone, you did your best, you hardly groaned. Little or big,

:30:26. > :30:31.serious or funny, you got out of bed and raised loads of money. We

:30:31. > :30:38.thank you dearly for every penny raised. Now get some rest, if

:30:38. > :30:48.you're feeling quite fazed. Thank you, thank you, we hope you had fun.

:30:48. > :30:53.

:30:53. > :30:59.You are beautiful and brilliant, APPLAUSE

:30:59. > :31:05.You've all been fantastic, so here's a big Sport Relief thank you.

:31:05. > :31:09.Thank you Tom. Don't worry if you haven't donated

:31:09. > :31:16.yet. There's loads of time to pick up the phone. Please give what you

:31:16. > :31:21.can. Look prevention is better than cure. I'm just going to keep saying

:31:21. > :31:31.it. We're all going to keep saying it - prevention is better than cure.

:31:31. > :31:31.

:31:31. > :31:41.Prevention is better than cure. This is Mulago Hospital in Kampala,

:31:41. > :31:51.at least 400 people come here from what the fate of their children

:31:51. > :31:53.

:31:53. > :31:57.Peace's baby, Florence, has had diarrhoea for four days.

:31:57. > :31:59.And how old is she?

:31:59. > :32:03.One year, 11 months.

:32:03. > :32:04.Gosh.

:32:04. > :32:06.She's tiny for her age.

:32:06. > :32:09.The more they get malnourished,

:32:09. > :32:13.the more they're also susceptible to other infections,

:32:13. > :32:16.and especially pneumonia.

:32:16. > :32:18.One thing leads to the other.

:32:18. > :32:23.Diarrhoea, dehydration, then pneumonia.

:32:23. > :32:27.And all the three she has are absolutely preventable.

:32:27. > :32:28.Yeah.

:32:28. > :32:30.So if she'd had the vaccine for diarrhoea,

:32:30. > :32:33.she wouldn't have got pneumonia, and so it goes on?

:32:33. > :32:35.She just gets weaker and weaker.

:32:35. > :32:37.Absolutely.

:32:37. > :32:38.And what's the prognosis for Florence?

:32:38. > :32:40.Florence is very sick.

:32:40. > :32:50.So the prognosis is not good.

:32:50. > :32:52.

:32:52. > :32:54.TRANSLATION: Yesterday, I was so scared.

:32:54. > :32:57.I thought she was going to die.

:32:57. > :33:04.I don't want them to fall sick all the time.

:33:04. > :33:11.I want them to be healthy, to be happy like other children.

:33:11. > :33:17.I just think it's so sad to see this 17-year-old on her own

:33:17. > :33:21.with two children who get regularly sick.

:33:21. > :33:25.And all she wants is for them to play.

:33:25. > :33:29.And that's something we take for granted.

:33:29. > :33:35.Her biggest hope is that her child is strong enough to run and laugh.

:33:35. > :33:44.# So for once in my life let me get what I want

:33:44. > :33:54.# Lord knows It would be the first time. #

:33:54. > :33:57.

:33:57. > :34:01.If Florence had been given a simple �5 vaccine,

:34:01. > :34:05.she might not be in hospital fighting for her life.

:34:06. > :34:07.What breaks my heart is that,

:34:07. > :34:08.though she's made it through the night,

:34:08. > :34:12.children have to be strong and well to be vaccinated.

:34:12. > :34:16.And at the moment, Florence is too unwell and too weak.

:34:16. > :34:18.I think the worst thing for me is that

:34:18. > :34:23.that little girl may never run around and play.

:34:23. > :34:33.Um... She's just too much to take on, really.

:34:33. > :34:34.

:34:34. > :34:44.Yeah.

:34:44. > :35:00.

:35:00. > :35:02.Your money will pay for life-saving vaccines

:35:02. > :35:05.to protect children like Florence.

:35:05. > :35:09.Please call...

:35:09. > :35:12.Or go online and give what you can.

:35:12. > :35:20.Thank you.

:35:20. > :35:21.Little

:35:21. > :35:21.Little baby

:35:21. > :35:25.Little baby Florence

:35:25. > :35:30.Little baby Florence is still alive and we hope she'll be strong enough

:35:31. > :35:39.soon to have the vaccine. The more money you give tonight, the more

:35:39. > :35:49.we'll be able to protect children like Florence. Please call. Time

:35:49. > :35:55.

:35:55. > :36:05.now for another very special thank # You're flogging socks

:36:05. > :36:10.

:36:10. > :36:20.# I'll sing your praises # Cos you raised

:36:20. > :36:20.

:36:20. > :37:17.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 71 seconds

:37:18. > :37:27.The amazing customers and staff have raised how much for Sport

:37:28. > :37:38.

:37:38. > :37:42.Relief? They have raised an eye APPLAUSE

:37:42. > :37:47.Thank you. I demand a recount, that's extraordinary. Thank you so

:37:47. > :37:52.much. Time for a seminal moment in boy band history. Four lads you are

:37:52. > :37:59.about to meet could be bigger than the Beatles, more fapbsable than

:37:59. > :38:04.one direction... SCREAMING Man I wouldn't want to get into an

:38:04. > :38:08.argument with you. They could smash Take That's record breaking tour.

:38:08. > :38:13.Or they could be a load of old rubbish. We can't decide. We don't

:38:13. > :38:21.have to. That's down to Simon Cowell and co. This is Benidorm's

:38:21. > :38:31.Britain's Got Talent And among the thousands of

:38:31. > :38:33.

:38:33. > :38:43...who have travelled from Benidorm Hi, Mateo. I'm Kenneth,

:38:43. > :38:46.

:38:46. > :38:54.I'm Michael, and together, Los Chorizos. I like it.

:38:54. > :38:59.When we were all on holiday Basically, what I did,

:38:59. > :39:01.Nick put us together and made what I can only describe as

:39:01. > :39:07.a super-group for the 21st century. Wow.

:39:07. > :39:09.Yeah, I think they've got what it takes to win Britain's Got Talent.

:39:09. > :39:14.They've got the dance moves of Diversity...

:39:14. > :39:17...the appeal of Joe McElderry...

:39:17. > :39:25...and they've got the voices of JML. JLS.

:39:25. > :39:28.Our name is Los Chorizos, which means, "I can't find me sausages."

:39:28. > :39:30.What are you talking about?

:39:30. > :39:32.It's not Los Chorizos, it's Lo-th Chori-thos.

:39:33. > :39:38.It means, "Hot, fiery meat."

:39:38. > :39:40.I knew that. I'm not a complete idiot, you know.

:39:40. > :39:43.Really? Which part is missing?

:39:44. > :39:45.How are the nerves? How are you all feeling?

:39:45. > :39:48.Feeling good. Los Chorizos are going to win Britain's Got Talent.

:39:48. > :39:50.That's fighting talk, isn't it?

:39:50. > :39:51.We know.

:39:52. > :39:53.I'm a lover, not a fighter.

:39:53. > :39:59.Ohh.

:40:00. > :40:02.Benidorm has got talent, and we're bringing it to a stage near you.

:40:02. > :40:06.Los Chorizos. ALL: Los Chorizos.

:40:06. > :40:11.I still think it sounds like you can't find my sausages. Shut up.

:40:11. > :40:13.Come on. Off you go. Good luck, lads.

:40:13. > :40:23.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:40:23. > :40:23.

:40:23. > :40:24.Hello. Hello, Simon. Hola, Mr Cowell.

:40:24. > :40:27.Who are you?

:40:27. > :40:31.We're a boy band from Benidorm and we're called Los Chorizos,

:40:31. > :40:37.which basically means "hot sausages". Great(!)

:40:37. > :40:39.Hiya. You all right? Have you seen my husband?

:40:39. > :40:43.Who's your husband? He's their manager. Los Chorizos.

:40:43. > :40:46.He wanted to watch if from out the front so he sat in the audience.

:40:46. > :40:48.Do you think you can win this competition?

:40:48. > :40:50.Maybe. I think we can absolutely win the competition.

:40:50. > :40:52.OK. Can I have your names and ages?

:40:53. > :40:55.Hello, Simon Cowell. My name is Liam and I'm 18.

:40:55. > :40:57.All right. Got it. And you?

:40:57. > :41:00.I'm Michael, and I'm 13.

:41:00. > :41:02.And you are...? Mateo. How old are you, Mateo?

:41:02. > :41:04.25.

:41:04. > :41:05.LAUGHTER

:41:05. > :41:07.Yeah. And the rest. 25 did he say? 25.

:41:07. > :41:10.He got that wrong.

:41:10. > :41:13.Where do you see yourselves in five years' time?

:41:13. > :41:20.Say Las Vegas. In Hollywood. It's near Las Vegas.

:41:20. > :41:22.What would you call your first album?

:41:22. > :41:26.Sausages.

:41:26. > :41:28.What did he say? Sausages!

:41:28. > :41:32.OK. Are you ready? We start? Please. Good luck.

:41:32. > :41:39.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:41:39. > :41:40.Go!

:41:40. > :41:41.Come on, Los Chorizos.

:41:41. > :41:42.Come on, lads.

:41:42. > :41:45.Let's get ready to rumble!

:41:45. > :41:47.# Let's get ready ready Let's get ready ready

:41:47. > :41:49.# Let's get ready to rumble... #

:41:49. > :41:51.I know this one!

:41:51. > :41:53.# Watch us wreck the mic Watch us wreck the mic

:41:53. > :41:55.# Let's get ready ready Let's get ready ready

:41:55. > :41:57.# Let's get ready to rumble... #

:41:57. > :41:59.Come on, Liam, dance!

:41:59. > :42:02.# Let's get ready ready Let's get ready ready

:42:03. > :42:03.# Let's get ready to rumble. #

:42:03. > :42:05.He's forgot the moves, Mam. He's daft, that one.

:42:06. > :42:07.# It ain't no hype

:42:07. > :42:08.# Watch us wreck the mic Watch us wreck the mic

:42:08. > :42:14.# Let's get ready to rumble. #

:42:14. > :42:15.BUZZER

:42:15. > :42:20.# ..Let's get ready to rumble Get ready and steady and rumble

:42:20. > :42:24.# Let's get ready to rumble Let's get ready to rumble

:42:24. > :42:31.# Get ready, get steady and rumble Everybody rumble... #

:42:31. > :42:38.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:42:39. > :42:46.Is that my son? Yeah.

:42:46. > :42:50.BUZZER

:42:50. > :42:52.Whose buzzed them now? Simon. Simon Cowell?

:42:52. > :42:55.# ..Everybody rumble Let's get ready to rumble... #

:42:55. > :43:01.What is Mateo doing?! Ooh!

:43:01. > :43:04.# ..Get ready, get steady Everybody rumble

:43:04. > :43:05.# Get ready to rumble It's rumbling

:43:05. > :43:13.# Get ready to rumble. #

:43:13. > :43:15.Mateo?!

:43:15. > :43:25.So hot. Thank you.

:43:25. > :43:26.

:43:26. > :43:29.Alicia, what do you think?

:43:29. > :43:34.I think you guys are great.You're all very, very sexy. Clearly.

:43:34. > :43:36.You're a fantastic dancer.

:43:36. > :43:38.What is there not to like?

:43:38. > :43:42.David, what did you think? The song was bad enough first time round.

:43:42. > :43:47.BOOING

:43:47. > :43:57.Carmen Electra? Let's get ready to rumble!

:43:57. > :44:00.

:44:00. > :44:04.I've done this a while, and this is one of the worst groups

:44:04. > :44:06.I've ever seen in my life.

:44:06. > :44:09.You don't know what you're talking about!

:44:09. > :44:13.And the idea that you called yourselves a boy band is ridiculous.

:44:13. > :44:18.We are a boy band. We'll you're not.

:44:18. > :44:23.We're not having it.

:44:23. > :44:28.Right! Right, that's it!

:44:28. > :44:32.Listen, Cowell, you don't know nothing about talent.

:44:32. > :44:36.This lad here is my grandson, and if you do anything to hurt him,

:44:36. > :44:39.I'll kick you so hard where it hurts,

:44:39. > :44:49.you'll be singing soprano to Ding Dong Merrily On High.

:44:49. > :44:52.This is my mother Madge, Simon, and I'm sorry -

:44:52. > :44:54.she gets a bit irritable when she hasn't had a cigarette.

:44:54. > :44:59.Oh, BLEEP off, you.

:44:59. > :45:03.Let's vote on it. Carmen?

:45:03. > :45:12.I'm going to have to say yes.

:45:12. > :45:19.Alicia? It's a yes from me, guys.

:45:19. > :45:22.Two yesses? One more and they're through.

:45:22. > :45:23.I'm going to have to say absolutely no.

:45:23. > :45:28.BOOING

:45:28. > :45:33.So, your fate lies with David.

:45:33. > :45:37.Hmm. I think there's potential.

:45:37. > :45:42.I think if you worked for the next 70-80 years, rehearsing,

:45:42. > :45:51.you might have something, so I'm going to say yes.

:45:51. > :45:53.They're through.

:45:53. > :46:03.Thank you!

:46:03. > :46:05.

:46:05. > :46:15.You're through.

:46:15. > :46:25.

:46:25. > :46:25.Some

:46:25. > :46:25.Some of

:46:25. > :46:30.Some of the

:46:30. > :46:35.Some of the films we show you on night's -- nights like tonight I

:46:35. > :46:40.know are really tough to watch. It's not that we want to upset you,

:46:40. > :46:43.but we've got to show you what's going on in the world, because we

:46:43. > :46:53.have all got to help change it. Please just stay with us on this

:46:53. > :47:02.

:47:02. > :47:11.one. Here's David Beckham to tell families live in appalling

:47:11. > :47:18.making this a very dangerous place to be a child.

:47:18. > :47:25.Two-year-old Bernard has been brought to hospital

:47:25. > :47:29.by his distraught dad, Joseph.

:47:29. > :47:32.The doctors diagnose malaria and pneumonia

:47:32. > :47:41.and do everything they can to stabilise him.

:47:41. > :47:45.Joseph has spent all night at his son's bedside

:47:45. > :47:55.willing his beautiful boy to pull through.

:47:55. > :48:15.

:48:15. > :48:18.Bernard's breathing suddenly becomes dangerously shallow.

:48:18. > :48:25.So, he's rushed through to intensive care.

:48:25. > :48:32.The doctors are doing all they can.

:48:32. > :48:36.All Joseph can do is wait and hope.

:48:36. > :48:46.All Joseph can do is wait and hope.

:48:46. > :48:46.

:48:46. > :49:52.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 71 seconds

:49:52. > :49:53.Breaks your

:49:53. > :49:53.Breaks your heart

:49:53. > :49:57.Breaks your heart doesn't

:49:57. > :50:01.Breaks your heart doesn't it? Joseph, the father wanted us to

:50:01. > :50:07.show thaw film because he wants us to help prevent more need ms deaths.

:50:07. > :50:12.If we can help others, then Bernard will not have died in vain.

:50:12. > :50:22.Prevention is better than cure and if your rage is as big as mine,

:50:22. > :50:25.

:50:25. > :50:30.just please make it now to pick up the phone, I immore you. Please --

:50:30. > :50:33.implore you. Please. Please do it now, because don't wait till later,

:50:34. > :50:39.because it doesn't happen later. You know that. Here with the

:50:39. > :50:49.beautiful Sport Relief single Proud is JLS. They've asked to you make

:50:49. > :50:51.

:50:51. > :51:00.them proud by calling whilst # When my strength was gone

:51:00. > :51:05.# And you told me that I should live my life to the limit

:51:05. > :51:12.# When you fall down Get back up and fight

:51:12. > :51:16.# Well, the shape of my heart don't lie

:51:16. > :51:20.# I'm determined when you trust in me

:51:20. > :51:25.# It's all I need

:51:25. > :51:27.# Now I'm hoping

:51:28. > :51:30.# If you hear this

:51:30. > :51:36.# You believe that all that I do is to make you proud

:51:36. > :51:38.# Make me stronger

:51:38. > :51:41.# So I rise up

:51:41. > :51:43.# Make my mind up

:51:43. > :51:48.# All that I do is to make you proud

:51:48. > :51:49.# Proud, proud

:51:49. > :51:50.Make you

:51:50. > :51:51.# Proud, proud

:51:51. > :51:52.Make you

:51:53. > :51:54.# Proud, proud

:51:54. > :51:59.# All that I do is to make you proud

:51:59. > :52:03.# I never gave up then Cos you said keep hope alive

:52:03. > :52:08.# And a champion gives one last try, yeah

:52:08. > :52:12.# Said I deserve the best in life

:52:12. > :52:15.# I should be winning You got to spread your wings

:52:15. > :52:21.# And prepare to fly

:52:21. > :52:25.# Well, the shape of my heart don't lie

:52:25. > :52:29.# I'm determined with your faith in me

:52:29. > :52:34.# To make you see, yeah!

:52:34. > :52:38.# Now I'm hoping, if you hear this

:52:38. > :52:44.# You believe that all that I do is to make you proud

:52:44. > :52:47.# Make me stronger

:52:47. > :52:50.# So I rise up

:52:50. > :52:51.# Made my mind up

:52:51. > :52:56.# All that I do is to make you proud

:52:56. > :52:58.# Proud, proud Make you

:52:58. > :53:00.# Proud, proud Make you

:53:01. > :53:02.# Proud, proud

:53:02. > :53:07.# All that I do is to make you proud

:53:07. > :53:11.# Nobody can tell me

:53:11. > :53:13.# They were there for me

:53:13. > :53:17.# Before you came around

:53:17. > :53:21.# There was pain in every heartbeat

:53:21. > :53:24.# But eventually

:53:24. > :53:31.# You built my resolve to be strong

:53:31. > :53:33.# Now I'm hoping

:53:33. > :53:36.# If you hear this

:53:36. > :53:41.# You believe that all that I do is to make you proud

:53:41. > :53:44.# Now I'm hoping

:53:44. > :53:47.# If you hear this

:53:48. > :53:52.# You believe that All that I do is to make you proud

:53:52. > :53:57.# Make me stronger Make me stronger

:53:57. > :54:00.# So I rise up So I rise up

:54:00. > :54:03.# All that I do is to make you proud

:54:03. > :54:06.# Proud, proud Make you

:54:06. > :54:08.# Proud, proud Make you

:54:08. > :54:10.# Proud, proud

:54:10. > :54:14.# All that I do is to make you proud

:54:14. > :54:16.# Proud, proud Make you

:54:16. > :54:19.# Proud, proud Make you

:54:19. > :54:22.# Proud, proud

:54:22. > :54:31.# All that I do is to make you proud. #

:54:31. > :54:41.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:54:41. > :54:49.

:54:49. > :54:49.Brilliant,

:54:49. > :54:50.Brilliant, thank

:54:50. > :54:55.Brilliant, thank you

:54:55. > :55:01.Brilliant, thank you to JLS. Can you buy the single to help those

:55:02. > :55:06.who need it most. It's time, it is that Sport Relief time. Time for

:55:06. > :55:16.one of those amazing, sexy totals. I do love a total. Work your magic.

:55:16. > :55:41.

:55:41. > :55:46.Are you ready? Here we go. Five, Thank you! I hate to bring you down

:55:46. > :55:53.off a high, but I have some really bad news. What? Sport Relief is

:55:53. > :56:00.about to take a small break from BBC One. I'm out, what? But the

:56:00. > :56:08.good news is Sport Relief is carrying over on BBC Two! Yay!

:56:08. > :56:14.the two. The goodies keep on coming. Here to take us cross-channel, our

:56:14. > :56:24.Sport Relief giants, David Walliams and Miranda Hart.

:56:24. > :56:36.

:56:36. > :56:46.You keep snoging people! You work fast. Do you snog everyone? What do

:56:46. > :56:56.you mean everyone? Goran Ivanisevic, get in! David, Dermot O'Leary.

:56:56. > :57:00.

:57:00. > :57:04.Davina McCall. Right! So, yes. The BBC have entrusted David and I to

:57:04. > :57:09.look after Sport Relief on BBC Two. I see why, BBC Two is a trendier

:57:09. > :57:15.beast. That's me and Dave all over. Myself and Miranda are basically

:57:15. > :57:20.street, whereas you two are more dull de-- cul-de-sac with resident

:57:20. > :57:25.parking. We have our swagger on. If you want proof, check out this

:57:25. > :57:30.wizard bit of, I don't know what I'm saying, cue tape. On BBC Two,

:57:30. > :57:35.very royal guests at the offices of 2012. You guys do the Sport Relief

:57:35. > :57:43.Mile dressed as the official 2012 mascots. Not the mascots, no way.

:57:43. > :57:50.Anything but them. Never Mind The Buzzcocks. This is like the beep

:57:50. > :57:58.beepest five aside team you've -- (BLEEP)est five aside team you've

:57:58. > :58:03.ever seen. Let me get this straight, Mo yles, dor con-- Cordon, Stella

:58:03. > :58:08.McCartney, amazing performance by Snow Patrol, Freddie Flintoff's

:58:08. > :58:14.world record attempt and celeb 8 Out Of 10 Cats. Check, check, check.

:58:15. > :58:20.Oh, my word. Tonight is like George Clooney of Sport Relief, it gets

:58:20. > :58:26.better looking the long ter goes on. Where are they? Over here. I think

:58:26. > :58:36.her eye sight is going. We're here to explain the next bit. Before

:58:36. > :58:40.getting all Professor Brian Cox on your asses, we're about to enter a

:58:40. > :58:47.parallel universe and be on BBC One and two at the same time. That's

:58:47. > :58:51.BBC Two right now. The Review Show. Lovely. Looks kind of boring,

:58:51. > :59:00.doesn't it? We're on soon. On the TV screen behind us, it's BBC One.

:59:00. > :59:06.Oh, that's us. Whoa! Sport Relief is going to be on both channels at

:59:06. > :59:10.the same time. Love it. You know what Sport Relief is calls for an

:59:10. > :59:15.over the top Countdown coming to BBC One and two. Are you up for

:59:15. > :59:22.this? Is everybody up for this? CHEERING

:59:22. > :59:29.Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, within. -- One. Here's

:59:29. > :59:39.another Countdown. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,

:59:39. > :59:47.

:59:47. > :59:52.We are in simulcast people. BBC One viewers, turn over to BBC Two