Part 3

:00:24. > :00:37.Yes, Sport Relief, we are back on BBC One, baby! We are still live

:00:38. > :00:41.from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. Ladies and gentlemen, please

:00:42. > :00:45.welcome a true icon of pop. She is more Australian than a beer drenched

:00:46. > :00:47.barbecue followed by a fight with a shark. Put your hands together for

:00:48. > :00:50.Kylie Minogue! You going to sing this for me? One,

:00:51. > :01:13.two, three. # I drew the smile upon my face

:01:14. > :01:17.# I paved the road that would one day leave me lonely

:01:18. > :01:21.# No angel's too good to fall from grace

:01:22. > :01:27.# If she lets go of whatever that keeps her holy

:01:28. > :01:35.# But I'm still here holding on so tight, to everything I left behind

:01:36. > :01:40.# I don't care if the world is mine # Cos this is all I know

:01:41. > :01:47.# When I got my back up against the wall

:01:48. > :01:51.# Don't need no one to rescue me # Cos I ain't waiting up for no

:01:52. > :02:09.miracle # Yeah tonight I'm running free

:02:10. > :02:17.# Into the blue, into the blue # With nothing to lose into the blue

:02:18. > :02:22.# I'm not ashamed of all my mistakes # Cos through the cold I still kept

:02:23. > :02:28.the fire burning # These memories I can't erase

:02:29. > :02:32.# Always reminds me I'm on an endless journey

:02:33. > :02:38.# But I'm still here holding on so tight

:02:39. > :02:44.# To everything that I left behind # I don't care if the world is mine

:02:45. > :02:48.# Cos this is all I know # When I got my back up against the

:02:49. > :02:55.wall # Don't need no one to rescue me

:02:56. > :03:04.# Cos I ain't waiting up for no miracle

:03:05. > :03:21.# Yeah, tonight I'm running free # Into the blue, into the blue

:03:22. > :03:31.# With nothing to lose into the blue # I'll go where nobody knows

:03:32. > :03:51.# Wherever the wind is blowing # Even if I'm alone

:03:52. > :03:59.# When I got my back up against the wall

:04:00. > :04:04.# Don't need no one to rescue me # Cos I ain't waiting up for no

:04:05. > :04:17.miracle # Yeah, tonight I'm running free

:04:18. > :04:19.# Into the blue, into the blue # With nothing to lose into the

:04:20. > :04:28.blue. # Thank you very much.

:04:29. > :04:51.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Amazing. Thank you so much, Kylie

:04:52. > :04:56.Minogue! Kylie Minogue! Oh. Great tune, that. Amazing. Banging tune!

:04:57. > :05:04.Can't wait to hear that one pumping out at all the nightclubs I go in

:05:05. > :05:11.Soho. Anyway, right, here is what we have got in store for you for the

:05:12. > :05:13.rest of the night. Coming up: David Walliams puts Premier League

:05:14. > :05:20.footballers through their paces in Celebrity Mastermind. Which elegant

:05:21. > :05:27.British bird is famous for having a long neck? Two servings of Andy

:05:28. > :05:36.Murray on Mock the Week. Championship point. I could do with

:05:37. > :05:41.a poo! Live music from Katy B. Four down and one to go as The Clash of

:05:42. > :05:47.the Titans reaches its finale from the Aquatics Centre.

:05:48. > :05:50.I know sometimes it feels like we never stop asking you for money. It

:05:51. > :05:57.might feel that however much you give, nothing ever changes. Well, at

:05:58. > :06:02.this Children's Hospital in Sierra Leone, things are changing. Right

:06:03. > :06:12.here, children are being given a vaccine that will protect them

:06:13. > :06:18.against five killer diseases. Your money help set up this x-ray machine

:06:19. > :06:25.and now it is paying for the guy who operates it. And you have paid for

:06:26. > :06:29.training for these amazing nurses. And you have paid for this lab that

:06:30. > :06:33.provides rapid testing for malaria and other killer diseases so

:06:34. > :06:37.children can be diagnosed in a fraction of the time that it used to

:06:38. > :06:43.take. Step by step, little by little, things are getting better

:06:44. > :06:47.because of YOU. See, it really does make a difference. Right now to

:06:48. > :06:53.children in this hospital. Of course, we can always do more. So,

:06:54. > :06:56.if good news is the kind of thing that excites you, this is your

:06:57. > :07:00.chance to help keep it coming. Please do that. You know the number.

:07:01. > :07:08.Brilliant. You did all of that. There is more good news out of the

:07:09. > :07:13.money we raised tonight. We are going to spend ?6 million on

:07:14. > :07:19.vaccines with the GAVI Alliance, so we can buy vaccines for more than a

:07:20. > :07:25.million children. APPLAUSE

:07:26. > :07:30.How do we get tonight's total up further? To donate, go to

:07:31. > :07:34.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. Failing that, you can take your money to any bank,

:07:35. > :07:41.building society or local Post Office. Or you could write a cheque.

:07:42. > :07:47.A cheque? Really? Do people still do cheques? OK. Write a cheque. Kick

:07:48. > :07:51.back, stick on the old wireless and write a cheque with your quill and

:07:52. > :08:04.ink made payable to Sport Relief. Then attach it to the ankle of your

:08:05. > :08:06.pigeon and off it goes! Or you can call us. Here is the Arsenal manager

:08:07. > :08:24.with all the relevant information. REPORTER: Thanks for talking to us

:08:25. > :08:30.from your toilet. How can people donate to Sport Relief? Well, it's

:08:31. > :08:33.very simple. They can pick up the telephone and dial 03457 910 910.

:08:34. > :08:36.Standard geographic charges will apply from landlines and also from

:08:37. > :08:40.mobiles. Great. I'll let you get back to having your wee. I've

:08:41. > :08:45.actually been having it while I was talking to you. Oh, I didn't realise

:08:46. > :08:49.that! That's quite a skill, innit? It's not a difficult thing to do. I

:08:50. > :08:52.often do it in interviews and I think the players at Arsenal will

:08:53. > :08:55.also do the same thing. It's a French thing, and something we can

:08:56. > :09:01.teach all the players. It's quite easy to do, really. That number is

:09:02. > :09:08.03457 910 910. We promise to use your money well. If you want to know

:09:09. > :09:12.more details, go to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. Time now for

:09:13. > :09:13.David Walliams with a very special football edition of Celebrity

:09:14. > :09:27.Mastermind. APPLAUSE

:09:28. > :09:34.Welcome back to this special footballers' edition of Celebrity

:09:35. > :09:40.Mastermind. At the end of the first round, Scott Parker, whose

:09:41. > :09:46.specialist subject was Pingu, scored zero points. Michael Dawson chose

:09:47. > :09:53.The Life and Times of Tottenham Hotspur's Michael Dawson and scored

:09:54. > :09:56.zero points. Finally, Jack Wilshere, whose specialist subject was The

:09:57. > :10:01.Plays and Sonnets of William Shakespeare, scored zero points. I

:10:02. > :10:05.got my name right! You don't get a point for that. So, going into the

:10:06. > :10:10.general knowledge round, the scores couldn't be closer. It's everything

:10:11. > :10:15.to play for! Scott Parker, if you would like to make your way to the

:10:16. > :10:21.chair? This chair? Yes. The Mastermind chair. What's Mastermind?

:10:22. > :10:28.The show we are doing now. Right. Your time starts now. Complete the

:10:29. > :10:32.title of the popular television ballroom competition - Strictly

:10:33. > :10:37.Come... ? Match of the Day. Dancing. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel

:10:38. > :10:44.was painted by which famous Italian? Mario Balotelli. Which 1982 film

:10:45. > :10:49.told the life story of the Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi? Bend It Like

:10:50. > :10:55.Beckham? England and France are separated by which Channel? Sky

:10:56. > :10:59.Sports One. David Cameron, George Osborne and Boris Johnson were

:11:00. > :11:05.famously members of which club? I know this one. I have seen them in

:11:06. > :11:13.there. China Whites. The Bullingdon Club. And at the end of that round,

:11:14. > :11:16.you have scored zero points. I did better than I expected!

:11:17. > :11:33.Michael Dawson, please. He's a big boy! Thank you. Your time starts

:11:34. > :11:39.now. Which elegant British bird is famous for having a long neck? Kiera

:11:40. > :11:45.Knightley. Which prince is next in line to the throne? Fresh Prince.

:11:46. > :11:54.The Amazon is famous for being the world's longest what? Website. Which

:11:55. > :12:02.is the smallest ant in the world? Ant out of Ant and Dec. Celebrity

:12:03. > :12:06.Big Brother was won by which Blue entertainer? Papa Smurf. Which is

:12:07. > :12:16.the biggest ocean in the world? Billy. The Pacific. After that

:12:17. > :12:20.round, Michael, you have a total of zero points. It's a clean sheet!

:12:21. > :12:33.OK, our final competitor, Jack Wilshere, please. Quick as you can.

:12:34. > :12:40.Now, Jack, we really need you to get a point. Just one point, OK? Yeah.

:12:41. > :12:47.Good boy. Had your tea? Yeah. Have you had a wee? Yeah. Great stuff.

:12:48. > :12:55.Your time starts now. Which yellow fruit is used to make lemonade?

:12:56. > :13:03.Pass. Lemons. Turkish delight comes from which country? Pass. Turkey!

:13:04. > :13:10.Which character is played by Daniel Radcliffe in the Harry Potter films?

:13:11. > :13:15.Pass. Harry Potter! The house of the American President, the White House,

:13:16. > :13:21.is painted which colour? Pass. WH IT E! In the popular sport football,

:13:22. > :13:26.which you play, I have started so I will finish, in the popular sport

:13:27. > :13:33.football, the act of one player kicking the ball to a team-mate is

:13:34. > :13:42.called a what? You know this, Jack. You DO? You are right. Shoot. Pass!

:13:43. > :13:48.It's a pass! Which means at the end of today's show, Scott Parker,

:13:49. > :13:58.Michael Dawson and Jack Wilshere are all on zero points. We did it, joint

:13:59. > :14:00.top. Yes. That is all for the first and probably last Footballers'

:14:01. > :14:21.Mastermind. Good night. Wonderful work there. Thank you so

:14:22. > :14:26.much to Jack Wilshere, Scott Parker and Michael Dawson, who plays for a

:14:27. > :14:30.pub team! You are all great sports for doing that sketch. Can we say

:14:31. > :14:34.thank you to the Premier League for supporting Sport Relief Cheryl Cole

:14:35. > :14:37.introduced a film about one day in a hospital in Uganda. Because it was

:14:38. > :14:41.before the news, we couldn't tell you the whole story of what happened

:14:42. > :14:46.on that day. This is a tough watch, but we are only watching it, this is

:14:47. > :14:52.real life, this is happening and we need to change it.

:14:53. > :14:59.Every morning at this hospital in eastern Uganda, a steady stream of

:15:00. > :15:12.desperate parents join the queue with their severely ill children.

:15:13. > :15:18.Almost all of these kids have moo malaria -- malaria. The problem is I

:15:19. > :15:28.don't have enough beds. Four-year-old Moses has been brought

:15:29. > :15:35.in by his dad. He has severe malaria. Sharing the bed with him is

:15:36. > :15:41.Ben, rushed in by his mother. He's unconscious and he has severe

:15:42. > :15:48.malaria. In the next bed along, is another boy. He was brought in after

:15:49. > :15:56.having seizures, caused by severe malaria. The list of victims of this

:15:57. > :16:03.horrible disease is never ending. John has malaria, Jonah has cerebral

:16:04. > :16:11.malaria, Paul and Winnie are brother and sister, both of them have

:16:12. > :16:21.malaria. It's like an epidemic. And this is just an ordinary day in this

:16:22. > :16:28.hospital. Add midday Mose severe malaria isn't -- Moses isn't

:16:29. > :16:31.responding to treatment. The rest of the family isn't able to get to the

:16:32. > :16:37.hospital. His dad is all alone. Desperate for any sort prove guess,

:16:38. > :16:46.Ben's mother -- sort of progress, Ben's mother hasn't left his side.

:16:47. > :16:49.It never stops. Another baby is rushed in. Another mother is

:16:50. > :16:57.helpless as she watches her daughter suffer the effects of malaria.

:16:58. > :17:04.Outside the queue doesn't stop growing.

:17:05. > :17:14.At last, for one mother, there's some encouraging news. The

:17:15. > :17:25.convulsions have stopped. But both the boys in the bed next to him are

:17:26. > :17:30.still critically ill. As As Moses slips in and out of consciousness,

:17:31. > :17:35.Ben's kidneys have started to failment We have children -- Fail.

:17:36. > :17:40.We have children every day coming in with malaria. It makes us sad.

:17:41. > :17:45.Malaria is a preventible disease. Moses and Ben are fighting the

:17:46. > :17:54.battle of their lives. At the moment, it's malaria that's winning.

:17:55. > :17:59.I wish I could say that things turned out OK for Ben and Moses, but

:18:00. > :18:05.I'm sorry to tell you, since the filming, both little boys have died.

:18:06. > :18:09.It's heart breaking and the worst thing is their deaths are

:18:10. > :18:16.preventible. If they had been sleeping under Amos coato net --

:18:17. > :18:22.under a mosquito net, they may still be alive. It costs ?5. Please call:

:18:23. > :18:33.03457 910 910. Thank you.

:18:34. > :18:41.Please help us to buy more moss uito nets. It's the best fiver you will

:18:42. > :18:46.ever spend. Standard geographic charges from landlines and mobiles

:18:47. > :18:50.apply. Right, it's time now for Clash of the Titans decider. Let's

:18:51. > :18:57.go to Clare Balding in the Aquatic Centre. Can John crush Coe? Or will

:18:58. > :19:03.Seb bash the Bishop? Thank you so much. Welcome back to the Aquatic

:19:04. > :19:06.Centre and the Olympic pool. What an extraordinary Clash of the Titans

:19:07. > :19:10.competition we have seen. It started with the elimination cycling with

:19:11. > :19:16.Freddie Flintoff falling off his bike, remounting and winning the

:19:17. > :19:19.race. We had synchronised swimming which was extraordinary. Patrick

:19:20. > :19:24.Kielty and Greg names showing us their best moves. The rhythmic

:19:25. > :19:30.gymnastics. Who will ever forget the intensity of Seb Coe? The fact that

:19:31. > :19:33.John Bishop turned himself into an elegant gymnast and the cycling, Amy

:19:34. > :19:39.Williams so impressive. That time trial ended in a tie. After four

:19:40. > :19:44.events, this is how the scores look: It is so close. Because in the lead

:19:45. > :19:51.with 22 points Team Bishop. Ahead of Team Coe, with 21 points. Now that

:19:52. > :19:54.means just one point translates into one second for the final

:19:55. > :20:02.edevelopment that will decide -- event, that will decide this

:20:03. > :20:07.competition. The swimmers are back stage. They are ready. They are

:20:08. > :20:12.raring to go. Look at this, he looks like Michael Phelps. He's listening

:20:13. > :20:17.to music. How are you feeling? Pumped up. I just wish I had

:20:18. > :20:22.something to plug it into. That's a schoolboy error. How have you lined

:20:23. > :20:25.up the team? It's going to be with Patrick starting, Helen in the

:20:26. > :20:30.middle and me bringing it home. Finishing? Apparently so. It will

:20:31. > :20:35.all come down to the captain. Over here we have Team Coe.

:20:36. > :20:40.Disappointingly Seb Coe yourself not in your trunks. Why not? There's a

:20:41. > :20:44.good reason for that... I can't really swim. Not stopping anybody

:20:45. > :20:51.else. Oh, I think it think it is. Selected your team, what are you

:20:52. > :20:58.going for? Well, look, I mean... The height, the strength, the win span

:20:59. > :21:01.of Greg. Amy is our secret weapon, head first, quarter of an inch off

:21:02. > :21:06.the water. Richard who can't hear a thing at this moment. . He never

:21:07. > :21:11.can. Are you bringing it home then? Yes. I know it's John against I,

:21:12. > :21:18.it's terrifying. Amy is our strongest swimmer. I'm reliant on

:21:19. > :21:22.her to gain me some distance so we can win irrespective of how I

:21:23. > :21:27.perform. Very nervous actually. He told me that earlier. I told him he

:21:28. > :21:31.should be. If you're watching this at home, if you think these athletes

:21:32. > :21:39.have done incredible things, that they've laid their bodies on the

:21:40. > :21:44.line, don't forget to donate. They have the help of two amazing

:21:45. > :21:45.mentors, who between them have won World Championships, European

:21:46. > :21:51.Championships, Commonwealth titles as well. Karen Pickering and Mark

:21:52. > :21:55.Foster. What advice have you given our swimmers? I think the main thing

:21:56. > :21:59.is to try and relax. As silly as it sounds, the more tense you are in

:22:00. > :22:05.the pool, the harder it gets. Try to relax. Don't forget to breathe,

:22:06. > :22:08.that's quite key. And 50 metres is quite a long way. When you stand at

:22:09. > :22:12.the end of the pool and you look down, it is quite a long way. Maybe

:22:13. > :22:19.don't go out too quick. In terms of technique, any tips? That hit the

:22:20. > :22:23.nail on the head, the first few strokes, I don't mean easy as in not

:22:24. > :22:27.trying, but relax, they'll feel the water. Other-wise they get in there

:22:28. > :22:32.and they'll spin. They'll tighten up. By the time they get halfway,

:22:33. > :22:39.they will be hurting. I've seen it before, they get to halfway, look up

:22:40. > :22:45.and go, oh, dear. Who do you think will win? I think, I fancy John

:22:46. > :22:50.Bishop on the anchor leg against Richard Bacon. It's battle of the

:22:51. > :22:53.mouths, but I am going for John. He's a fit man. The ones to watch

:22:54. > :22:58.are the chicks, the girls are probably the strongest swimmers. Amy

:22:59. > :23:02.against Helen is a really interesting battle. Amy, an athlete,

:23:03. > :23:07.she will be tough. Helen has done some amazing challenges. We have

:23:08. > :23:10.know she's pretty gritty. Team Bishop have a second advantage. That

:23:11. > :23:14.might be enough to make the difference. Ladies and gentleman,

:23:15. > :23:22.here we go with our final swimming relay. Let us bring out our

:23:23. > :23:26.swimmers. For Team Bishop, it's Patrick, John

:23:27. > :23:28.and Helen. For Team Coe, Greg, Richard and Amy.

:23:29. > :23:39.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Obviously, they are the ones doing

:23:40. > :23:46.all the hard work. They will be ably supported by their team meats who

:23:47. > :23:51.are here, Freddie Flintoff, nursing an injury, you took a hell a fall.

:23:52. > :24:00.I'm really clumsy. You are so tough, rock hard. I'm not really. On the

:24:01. > :24:04.surface, maybe. Ol -- Olly has a bigger scar. It was great to do

:24:05. > :24:08.that. Sally you overcame your fears? No, I was scared all the way

:24:09. > :24:12.through. I just got through it. I didn't fall off. That was a big

:24:13. > :24:16.success and a personal best. That was great. For someone who doesn't

:24:17. > :24:22.do any exercise at all, that was a bit a win. And a final word for Team

:24:23. > :24:30.Coe from their captain. We've just got to bring the bacon home.

:24:31. > :24:32.You win the corn. Here we go. This will decide who are the Clash of the

:24:33. > :24:40.Titans champions. . This is it. The whole night comes

:24:41. > :24:48.down to this, the glory moment for one of these teams.

:24:49. > :24:56.Lord Coe is watching on the side. The last time we were here, it was

:24:57. > :25:01.Michael Phelps winning his 18th Olympic Gold Medal. Surelily tonight

:25:02. > :25:07.it's much bet -- surely tonight, it's much better, much bigger, the

:25:08. > :25:14.decider. Well that's an interesting start

:25:15. > :25:21.from Patrick Kielty. Just like Michael Phelps did for team USA,

:25:22. > :25:26.he's leading out. It looks like an early lead for Greg James. He's

:25:27. > :25:31.taller. Really using the height very well. Looking up ape bit. Starting

:25:32. > :25:37.to get -- up a bit. He's starting to get a bit tired. This is a good

:25:38. > :25:41.swim. Recently stripped off to his swimsuit to present Radio 1's

:25:42. > :25:46.breakfast show. Raised ?10,000 for doing that. Look at this lead, a

:25:47. > :25:51.very good start. Greg James hands over to Amy Williams, MBE. I'm

:25:52. > :25:57.reliably told that the women are the fast effort swimmers in this race.

:25:58. > :26:01.Amy has gone off like a shot. So Patrick Kielty has handed over to

:26:02. > :26:06.Helen Skelton. She's got some work to do. She's

:26:07. > :26:09.about 15 metres behind Amy Williams. The incredibly versatile Amy

:26:10. > :26:14.Williams, Gold Medallist in the Skelton from Vancouver. It looks

:26:15. > :26:21.like maybe Helen is catching up. She has a lot to do here. Lovely, long,

:26:22. > :26:27.economic stroke. What a great swim this is. The final leg now, don't go

:26:28. > :26:33.too early Richard Bacon. He's in for Lord Coe. 50 metres to go. Still

:26:34. > :26:42.going is Helen Skelton. She's been to the South Pole, aye yakked the

:26:43. > :26:47.Amazon, and a -- kayaked the Amazon and a bit of work to do here. And

:26:48. > :26:53.John has a lot of work to do to catch up Richard Bacon. Good work

:26:54. > :26:58.from Bacon. This is very good indeed. Whoever touches the wall

:26:59. > :27:05.first is going to be the Clash of the Titans champion for 2014. Oh,

:27:06. > :27:11.and this is absolutely brilliant. The Clash of the Titans champions

:27:12. > :27:17.title is Lord Coe's team, team blue! Richard Bacon brings it home. What a

:27:18. > :27:21.brilliant swim. John Bishop, a gallant effort, but had a lot of

:27:22. > :27:30.work to do. So Lord Coe absolutely delighted.

:27:31. > :27:35.Saluting his gladiators. Here's the lead-off Greg James, what a great

:27:36. > :27:40.swim from him. Amy Williams, well, the fastest, they put her in the

:27:41. > :27:45.middle, interesting, very interesting tactics. What a great

:27:46. > :27:50.day, what a fantastic event. Scenes of celebration here for Team

:27:51. > :27:56.Coe. Who trailed the competition but came home in the swimming relay to

:27:57. > :28:01.take the title. It was set up by Greg James. What a fabulous first

:28:02. > :28:04.leg. I was so bad at swimming at school. All the dreams of come --

:28:05. > :28:09.have come true, timely, I can switch. You took the advice of Mark

:28:10. > :28:13.and shone out there. Amy, sensational. I gave it my all. Mark

:28:14. > :28:17.was like, don't go out too quick, keep the arms slow. Yeah, took on

:28:18. > :28:21.the tips. It was fun, it was great. Everyone did such a good job.

:28:22. > :28:26.Richard you said you want aid half length lead and you got it. I did.

:28:27. > :28:29.You feel a certain pressure because Amy did so well, to lose from that

:28:30. > :28:38.position would have been mortgagifying. Due pan --

:28:39. > :28:43.Mortifying. , a lovely mouthful of water and had a mild panic attack.

:28:44. > :28:48.John, that was a race too far. You've put up such an heroic effort,

:28:49. > :28:54.your back flip was impressive. We should have got a bonus point for

:28:55. > :28:57.that. Really it's not about winners or losers, we're all winners. It's

:28:58. > :29:03.about the kids and the charity. That's what it's about. He took this

:29:04. > :29:08.so seriously. I saw another side to John Bishop today. A reaction from

:29:09. > :29:12.the winning captain, Seb Coe. He stood back and let the others take

:29:13. > :29:20.the glory in the swimming relay. He selected the strongest swimmers...

:29:21. > :29:26.Oh, no! Don't leave him out there too long. He said he can't really

:29:27. > :29:32.swim. Hopefully the tracksuit will help him float. How inspirational a

:29:33. > :29:35.leader has that man in the pool been? He's amazing. He's been

:29:36. > :29:38.fantastic. Just to be in his company for the last two days has been

:29:39. > :29:42.incredible and everyone deserves this. It's been brilliant. Like John

:29:43. > :29:46.said, it's for everyone else. We've had a great time doing Clash of the

:29:47. > :29:51.Titans. It's been immense. I've loved every minute. Elation for the

:29:52. > :29:54.winners and huge congratulations as well from the runners up. I think we

:29:55. > :29:59.may be here for some time. Join us again, because we have very special

:30:00. > :30:05.guests to make the presentation of the trophies to our winners and to

:30:06. > :30:06.our runners up. Congratulations to Team Coe. We will get an interview

:30:07. > :30:27.with him later. Huge congratulations to Team Coe.

:30:28. > :30:32.That looked like fantastic work. We will be back in a few minutes to see

:30:33. > :30:38.Olly Murs giving him life to life. They will be here later to chat to

:30:39. > :30:41.Fearne and Gary. Also, coming up later is another chance to see that

:30:42. > :30:45.brilliant Only Fools and Horses special starring David Beckham. Now,

:30:46. > :30:48.everyone taking part in tonight's show is doing it because they want

:30:49. > :30:52.to make a difference. They are hoping that if you enjoyed the

:30:53. > :30:56.entertaining parts of the night, you will watch the tougher films and

:30:57. > :31:01.make a donation. We are incredibly grateful for what you can afford.

:31:02. > :31:06.Here is David Tennant. This is the Children's Hospital in

:31:07. > :31:08.Freetown in West Africa. A little boy called Alusine has been brought

:31:09. > :31:19.in by his grandmother. As the hospital staff try to

:31:20. > :31:25.stabilise him, Alusine's grandma can only look on. Since his Mum died in

:31:26. > :31:27.childbirth, she's spent every day by his side. Suddenly, there is a

:31:28. > :31:42.problem with the oxygen machine. Intensive care is full, so there is

:31:43. > :31:47.no choice but to stay in this ward and continue sharing oxygen. It is a

:31:48. > :31:52.desperate time for Alusine's grandma. One week ago, she was in

:31:53. > :32:17.this same ward with his twin brother. He sadly passed away.

:32:18. > :32:24.If you started tonight thinking maybe you might give some money, if

:32:25. > :32:28.the funny bits are funny enough, if the sad bits are sad enough, you

:32:29. > :32:34.might. Well, I'm telling you, this is it. This is the saddest, this is

:32:35. > :32:40.all we've got. Cards on the table. I can't think of anything sadder.

:32:41. > :32:47.Please don't tell me you don't care. Anything you can give would be

:32:48. > :32:52.amazing. Thank you. If he had a ?5 vaccine, Alusine

:32:53. > :32:56.might still be alive today. We know you care. You have proved that year

:32:57. > :33:05.after year. Please, would you be just so kind one more time? 03457

:33:06. > :33:08.910 910. Here is Katy B with her beautiful song, Crying For No

:33:09. > :33:23.Reason. Katy has asked that you call to donate whilst she is singing.

:33:24. > :33:31.# I push all my problems to the back of my mind

:33:32. > :33:36.# Then they surface in my dreams # They come alive

:33:37. > :33:40.# I sweep all my issues to somewhere I can't find

:33:41. > :33:45.# And hope that I'll forget but there's just so many times

:33:46. > :33:50.# Why can't I be strong and just confront all my fears?

:33:51. > :33:56.# When the fear is hurting then I'm being insincere

:33:57. > :34:00.# But how many more days can I hide # How many years?

:34:01. > :34:03.# Emotions flooding then I was all seeming so clear

:34:04. > :34:07.# Crying for no reason # Feel the tears roll down

:34:08. > :34:12.# I felt strong but am I breaking now?

:34:13. > :34:17.# Crying for no reason cos I buried it deep

:34:18. > :34:22.# I made promises I could not keep # Cos I never faced all the pain I

:34:23. > :34:31.caused # Now the pain is hitting me full

:34:32. > :34:37.force # I push all my problems to the back

:34:38. > :34:41.of my brain # The darkness deep inside where I

:34:42. > :34:50.just can't find my way # How can I walk with a smile

:34:51. > :34:52.# Get on with my day? # When I deceive myself pretending

:34:53. > :34:56.it's all OK # I try my best to hold it all

:34:57. > :34:59.together, I know # The strings have worn away and now

:35:00. > :35:04.I'm all exposed # I try and hide it all the way on

:35:05. > :35:08.top of the shelf # I can lie to everyone but not to

:35:09. > :35:13.myself # Crying for no reason

:35:14. > :35:21.# Feel the tears roll down # I felt strong but am I breaking

:35:22. > :35:24.now? # Crying for no reason cos I buried

:35:25. > :35:31.it deep # I made promises I could not keep

:35:32. > :35:34.# Cos I never faced all the pain I caused

:35:35. > :35:45.# Now the pain is hitting me full force

:35:46. > :35:52.# Forgive me now cos I said that I'll be there for you

:35:53. > :35:56.# Care for you, I let you down # I walked away cos there were

:35:57. > :36:02.things I couldn't say to you # Say to you, I'm breaking now

:36:03. > :36:06.# I burned some bridges down # There must be some way out

:36:07. > :36:12.# The voices speak so loud # Will you forgive me now?

:36:13. > :36:17.# I burned some bridges down # There must be some way out

:36:18. > :36:22.# The voices speak so loud # Will you forgive me now?

:36:23. > :36:26.# Crying for no reason # Feel the tears roll down

:36:27. > :36:31.# I felt strong but am I breaking now?

:36:32. > :36:37.# Crying for no reason cos I buried it deep

:36:38. > :36:41.# I made promises I could not keep # But I never faced all the pain I

:36:42. > :36:43.caused # Now the pain is hitting me full

:36:44. > :37:10.force. # Thank you.

:37:11. > :37:20.A massive thank you to the wonderful Katy B. Now, Ryman Stationery have

:37:21. > :37:25.been selling these Sport Relief pens. His arms go, isn't that great?

:37:26. > :37:31.He loves the pens. Robert Dyas have been selling these Sport Relief

:37:32. > :37:37.torch keyrings. Sorry. Oh yeah. These cost ?1! That is bloody good

:37:38. > :37:41.value. The ?1 goes straight to Sport Relief. That is brilliant. I know.

:37:42. > :37:46.You love it. The whole ?1 goes to Sport Relief. It doesn't work,

:37:47. > :37:55.that's why! He is joking. Which one of these is the most sporty? We sent

:37:56. > :38:04.football legend - you say his name... David Ginola. Off to find

:38:05. > :38:13.out. They work. Yes! You are late, where have you been? This way.

:38:14. > :38:20.Come on! You have a race to win. Quick, quick. What is going on here?

:38:21. > :38:37.Down and up. Now we are talking. More! On your mark, set, GO! Come

:38:38. > :38:45.on, yes! Fantastic! Well done! You did it! These two aren't the only

:38:46. > :38:50.ones getting active for Sport Relief. Rymans and Robert Dyas shop

:38:51. > :38:58.teams have been raising cash in the most wonderful of ways.

:38:59. > :39:09.There you have it. A draw. A huge thank you to everyone who bought one

:39:10. > :39:14.of these pens, or one of these keyrings. Let's find out how much

:39:15. > :39:16.Ryman and Robert Dyas staff and customers have raised. Let's see the

:39:17. > :39:29.total. Wow! Congratulations. Amazing. Yeah.

:39:30. > :39:34.All for some pens. Well done, everyone. Time for something very

:39:35. > :39:39.special from Mock the Week. It is a very special edition of the episode.

:39:40. > :39:44.There it is. It has a woman on the panel! No, that is a joke. No, it is

:39:45. > :39:47.a special edition because it has one of the biggest sportsmen on the

:39:48. > :39:52.planet, ladies and gentlemen. Here is Mock the Week with Andy Murray.

:39:53. > :39:58.Hello and welcome to a very special edition of Mock The Week for Sport

:39:59. > :40:01.Relief. This round is called Between The Lines, and in it we feature

:40:02. > :40:05.Wimbledon hero and sporting legend Andy Murray delivering a speech as

:40:06. > :40:09.if at a press conference, and Hugh will tell us what he really means.

:40:10. > :40:15.The role of Andy Murray will be played by Andy Murray tonight. Take

:40:16. > :40:19.it away. Good evening, everyone. I can't tell you how desperate I was

:40:20. > :40:25.to be part of tonight's events. It was either this or another knock-up

:40:26. > :40:29.with Ivan Lendl and my mum. I hope that by joining in tonight I'll be

:40:30. > :40:37.able to show you the real me behind the public image.

:40:38. > :40:41.LAUGHTER Sport Relief is a really worthwhile

:40:42. > :40:47.cause that I'm proud to be part of. It's a bit of a pain, innit? Tennis

:40:48. > :41:02.has enabled me to achieve things I could never have dreamt of. Have you

:41:03. > :41:10.seen my girlfriend? Eh? This is a great era for British tennis. This

:41:11. > :41:14.is a great era for Scottish tennis. I love playing in front of Wimbledon

:41:15. > :41:22.crowds and thank them for their support. Stop shouting "Come on,

:41:23. > :41:27.Tim!", for God's sake. I'm very proud to have done something that no

:41:28. > :41:30.Scotsman has ever achieved before. I'm very proud to be the first

:41:31. > :41:40.Scotsman to eat a banana on national television. I really can't thank my

:41:41. > :41:43.mum Judy enough. Since forgetting to give my mum a hug... After winning

:41:44. > :41:49.Wimbledon, she really can't remind me of it enough. I hope my success

:41:50. > :41:53.will inspire a new generation of British tennis stars to come forward

:41:54. > :41:59.and challenge for titles. But not yet. Give me a few years, you

:42:00. > :42:03.bustards! It was great to finally win Wimbledon, and the next thing is

:42:04. > :42:09.to knuckle down and go on to win even more. Job done. Party! At the

:42:10. > :42:12.end of that round, ladies and gentlemen, the points go to Hugh

:42:13. > :42:19.Dennis and Andy Murray! APPLAUSE

:42:20. > :42:25.Brilliant. There will be more from Andy Murray and Mock the Week later

:42:26. > :42:30.on. Time to head over to the Aquatics Centre for Clash of the

:42:31. > :42:34.Titans victory ceremony. Thank you so much. Welcome back. Here in the

:42:35. > :42:39.Aquatics Centre, we have seen a thrilling climax to The Clash of the

:42:40. > :42:46.Titans. It has been a wonderful contest. We have seen wonderful

:42:47. > :42:50.rhythmic gymnastics, John Bishop so elegant, Freddie Flintoff crashing

:42:51. > :42:53.off his bike and getting back on, Amy Williams, a natural sportswoman

:42:54. > :42:59.showing she could have been a cyclist, too. Sally Phillips, with a

:43:00. > :43:04.hoop nobody else could touch her. It's not over yet. Here, we have

:43:05. > :43:10.assembled to make the presentation to give the medals and the trophy,

:43:11. > :43:13.the finest ever collection of British winter Olympians and

:43:14. > :43:22.Paralympians, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Team GB. Winning our

:43:23. > :43:27.first medal on snow, Jenny Jones who took bronze in the snowboard slope

:43:28. > :43:38.style, our gold medallist in skeleton, Lizzy Yarnold, the most

:43:39. > :43:42.successful ever winter Paralympian for Great Britain, Jade Etherington

:43:43. > :43:47.and Caroline Powell, Eve Muirhead and her bronze medal curlers, Dave

:43:48. > :43:54.Murdoch and his silver medal curlers. What a line-up of Olympians

:43:55. > :43:57.and Paralympians. Let's grab a word with Jenny. How many enquiries have

:43:58. > :44:03.you had from children wanting to take up snowboarding? Loads. My

:44:04. > :44:07.local d slope is booked out till April with children having snowboard

:44:08. > :44:12.lessons, which is awesome. That is why you do it, to win the medals, to

:44:13. > :44:15.be successful and to inspire others. Lizzy, you said right, I'm going to

:44:16. > :44:18.get out there in the schools, I will start talking to kids about sport.

:44:19. > :44:23.You have already started? It all kicked off today. I had my Victory

:44:24. > :44:27.Parade. We fit in three our four schools and I have hundreds to see

:44:28. > :44:34.over the next year. I can't wait. Jade, your feet have hardly touched

:44:35. > :44:38.the ground? It's been crazy. My phone crashed when I was out there,

:44:39. > :44:41.so I didn't realise all the support we have had and it is brilliant to

:44:42. > :44:49.be back and overwhelming and thanks for the support. Look at all those

:44:50. > :44:52.medals. Sensational stuff, guys. I know how much you will want to thank

:44:53. > :44:57.the crowd for the support they have given you through the Games and how

:44:58. > :45:02.much they want to thank you. Our winter Olympians and Paralympians.

:45:03. > :45:09.Now it's time for the medal presentation. While our Paralympians

:45:10. > :45:13.and Olympians get ready to present the medals, please welcome the

:45:14. > :45:16.runners up, in the Clash of the Titans, it's Team Bishop.

:45:17. > :45:47.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Please step up to the podium and

:45:48. > :45:55.prepare to receive your medals. The medals are being brought over by

:45:56. > :46:01.our winter Olympians Jenny Jones, eve Muirhead and her curlers. The

:46:02. > :46:06.bronze medallists from Sochi. A mutual appreciation between these

:46:07. > :46:10.groups of athletes. Cow really feel -- you could really feel they knew

:46:11. > :46:16.what it took today to push your body to the limits. Yeah, they do. They

:46:17. > :46:19.appreciate what we put in and we appreciate what they've done. This

:46:20. > :46:24.is a better medal that Seb's going to get. U seem to have stolen a

:46:25. > :46:28.medal there. I never stole it! I just couldn't get over to Sochi, so

:46:29. > :46:32.I would have won it any way, if I would have gone. Of your team? Very

:46:33. > :46:35.proud. They've done well. The effort that they've put in, and all for a

:46:36. > :46:39.fantastic cause, it's been brilliant. Most of all, thanks to

:46:40. > :46:41.all of you at home and everyone who came and made the atmosphere what

:46:42. > :46:45.it's been. APPLAUSE

:46:46. > :46:48.I think you've found some real guts and determination and natural

:46:49. > :46:53.sportsmen and women today. Definitely. We have natural

:46:54. > :46:57.athletes. This has not been like a normal sporting event. It's been

:46:58. > :47:02.like a Sportsday at Downton Abbey. You have the Lord and all his people

:47:03. > :47:06.and we're the people who work and live downstairs. You are the ones

:47:07. > :47:10.who shall rise and conquer in the end. One day, when the revolution

:47:11. > :47:13.comes. You'll be there. Right now you're the losers. Let's move over

:47:14. > :47:17.and let the winners come in. Thank you so much, Team Bishop, ladies and

:47:18. > :47:19.gentleman! APPLAUSE

:47:20. > :47:23.let's go over to the secondary podium. Time now, ladies and

:47:24. > :47:28.gentleman, to congrape late the winners of Clash of the Titans. Led

:47:29. > :47:32.by a man who knows what it's like to win Olympic gold medals and bring

:47:33. > :47:35.the Olympics to London, please welcome Team Coe.

:47:36. > :48:01.Seb Coe, Richard Bacon, Amy Williams, Saffy Philips, Greg James

:48:02. > :48:04.-- Sally Philips, Greg James and Olly Murs. Guys, time to take your

:48:05. > :48:12.moment of glory, if you want to make your way over here to receive your

:48:13. > :48:16.medals. There is a trophy as well. It's lovely to see the warmth of

:48:17. > :48:21.your feeling. But now, your moment. Please take to the stage. Team Coe,

:48:22. > :48:32.Clash of the Titans champions will be presented with their medals by

:48:33. > :48:34.Lizzie Yarnold, Dave Murdoch, and his Silver Medal-winning curlers.

:48:35. > :48:42.APPLAUSE what a moment for them. Seb Coe is

:48:43. > :48:46.stealing Lizzie's Gold Medal. He will also receive the medal that

:48:47. > :48:49.he'll be Loued to keep, his -- allowed to keep, his Sport Relief

:48:50. > :48:58.medal. Make sure he gets that as well. Don't leave that one behind.

:48:59. > :49:02.Lizzie, can I just grab that. He'll give you your Gold Medal back. You

:49:03. > :49:05.need to put that on. That's what you have won. Would you like to remind

:49:06. > :49:11.everybody why you actually have all done this today. We've done this for

:49:12. > :49:14.an extraordinary effort tonight and I hope there are millions of young

:49:15. > :49:18.people that are going to benefit from everything that has been

:49:19. > :49:24.achieved and the extraordinary support tonight and if you're still

:49:25. > :49:25.there watching, dig deep, it's really important.

:49:26. > :49:28.APPLAUSE Just a word on your highlights from

:49:29. > :49:33.this competition, was it being thrown into the pool by John? Or

:49:34. > :49:40.your extraordinary rhythmic gymnastics with the ribbon? I think

:49:41. > :49:46.it was all down to my jumps. Ribbons. We've seen a new Seb Coe.

:49:47. > :49:50.He has led his team to triumph in the Clash of the Titans. It seems

:49:51. > :49:56.only appropriate that Britain's most successful ever Paralympian should

:49:57. > :49:58.present this trophy, please welcome Jade Etherngton and Caroline Powell.

:49:59. > :50:17.APPLAUSE This is the moment, give it up for

:50:18. > :50:23.Team Coe! they'll be joined by Team Bishop!

:50:24. > :51:13.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE They've put in a huge amount of

:51:14. > :51:18.effort. Can you see the excitement. John is still with it. Still friends

:51:19. > :51:22.on the podium exchanging training tips, wondering how they could do

:51:23. > :51:26.better next time. Done a full lap of the pool, he still has the energy to

:51:27. > :51:29.do that. That means he didn't swim hard enough. He's gone, with the

:51:30. > :51:33.trophy. Finally, thank you to everybody here in the Aquatic Centre

:51:34. > :51:38.and the velodrome as well. You've been a great support. It's back.

:51:39. > :51:41.Back with the trophy. Put it in the hands in which it belongs. Thank you

:51:42. > :51:53.for watching. Goodbye. Good night. APPLAUSE

:51:54. > :51:56.It's been a great night at the Aquatic Centre and the velodrome and

:51:57. > :52:00.captain Seb Coe, John Bishop and members of their teams will join us

:52:01. > :52:04.later. As a mother, I would do anything for my child, that's the

:52:05. > :52:09.same for mothers all over the world. And no different for the mother that

:52:10. > :52:24.David Tennant meets in this next film.

:52:25. > :52:36.Two months ago Sento tested positive for HIV.

:52:37. > :52:49.The effect its had on her body has been brutal. She's lost the strength

:52:50. > :52:57.in her arms and legs. And her muscles are knotted in pain. Only

:52:58. > :53:07.regular massages can help ease her zoment. Discomfort. -- discomfort.

:53:08. > :53:20.Can you tell me when you started getting sick, what happened?

:53:21. > :53:48.Giving up is not an option. Because she's not alone. She has her son. He

:53:49. > :53:57.never explains about the long walk to fetch water. He doesn't moan if

:53:58. > :54:00.his mum asks him to massage her aching legs.

:54:01. > :54:10.And he tries not to notice if she gets upset. He would do anything for

:54:11. > :54:17.his mum. But the one thing he can't do is make her better. Before your

:54:18. > :54:30.mum got sick, what did you used to do together? Was she better than

:54:31. > :54:39.you? Or did you win? I won. You won, right. Do you worry about your mum?

:54:40. > :54:50.There's a ran that her condition has deteriorated so rapidly and it comes

:54:51. > :54:57.down to the simplest of things. Poverty. She actually has the

:54:58. > :55:02.medications she needs to get stronger, but she can't take it. The

:55:03. > :55:14.medication is incredibly strong and has to be taken with food. And the

:55:15. > :55:21.food she has she gives to her son. She can go a whole day without

:55:22. > :55:30.taking any medicine. But there is hope. And it's thanks

:55:31. > :55:35.to money raised by you. Care and support are available, which means

:55:36. > :55:41.that she stands a much better chance of getting stronger. And her son can

:55:42. > :55:45.start to experience a childhood and get an education. This is your

:55:46. > :55:49.chance to help people you will never meet, but who desperately need you.

:55:50. > :55:52.There's a project right here helping people living with HIV to be as well

:55:53. > :55:58.as they can, for as long as they can. So that kids like this don't

:55:59. > :56:05.end up orphans any sooner than they have to. Please help. 03457 910 910.

:56:06. > :56:13.Thank you. If you're sitting there thinking,

:56:14. > :56:18.how can I help? Let me tell you how. Call 03457 910 910. Now, nobody turn

:56:19. > :56:21.over, nobody go to bed, nobody move a muscle. We have something very

:56:22. > :56:27.special at the end of the show. Take a look at this: It's yours truly,

:56:28. > :56:31.one manager here. He's been one of our biggest supporters. Now before

:56:32. > :56:36.we start, I just want to put you at your ease, I'm not here to make you

:56:37. > :56:41.look stupid. I do that myself. He's been willing to put himself in

:56:42. > :56:44.tricky positions. Tell me is your little boy putting sentences

:56:45. > :56:53.together? He's saying bits and pieces, yeah. What about Brooklyn.

:56:54. > :57:01.We've Senior him get cosy with Smithy. -- We've seen him getting

:57:02. > :57:06.cosy with Smithy. Stop it, you silly Billy. Tonight, Beckham is in

:57:07. > :57:15.Peckham. If I asked you to go into the High Street wearing a sarong

:57:16. > :57:19.would you? Well... APPLAUSE

:57:20. > :57:23.That's right, Only Fools and Horses with David Beckham will be coming up

:57:24. > :57:27.at the end of the show. Don't you dare go to bed. Actually, the only

:57:28. > :57:31.people that are allowed to go to bed are those who have to get up early

:57:32. > :57:36.in the morning, long distance lorry drivers or nurses. You need your

:57:37. > :57:40.sleep. I will announce what time people can go to bed over the

:57:41. > :57:44.evening according to their profession. . I love the Bake Off so

:57:45. > :57:50.much. Mary Berry is a legend. Agreed. Mary Berry, you can go to

:57:51. > :57:54.bed. The work you do is vital. Leave the hot water bottle out on my side

:57:55. > :58:00.of the bed, if you want me to wake you up when I get home. That's a

:58:01. > :58:04.joke! I do not... I do. Every night. Course hands, but a wonderful lover.

:58:05. > :58:09.Shouldn't have said that. Never met the woman. OK, no more words from

:58:10. > :58:22.you. Sit down. Here are the best bits of baking from the Sport Relief

:58:23. > :58:27.Bakoff. On your marks, get set...BAKE! # And

:58:28. > :58:40.we danced all night to the best song ever... We'd like to apologise for

:58:41. > :58:45.what we have done to your cakes. It's an elephant. And they look real

:58:46. > :58:55.whoppers, don't they? Oh, God! Yes, you've got nice whoppers there. I

:58:56. > :58:58.think you look slightly too glamorous. That's what I want.

:58:59. > :59:02.SOPRANO OPERA SINGING Right, now I'm putting them in the oven. I've

:59:03. > :59:07.slightly burnt it. Have you killed Mary Berry? I don't like that, I

:59:08. > :59:11.love. It I'm really proud. They've put their minds to it. They enjoyed

:59:12. > :59:20.every minute. They've done extremely well. I'm proud of them. Bake Off!

:59:21. > :59:26.APPLAUSE Brilliant.

:59:27. > :59:33.I love the Bake Off as well. It's not the only show I love. I have an

:59:34. > :59:40.idea of how to combine it with my favourite show. Here it is, Baking

:59:41. > :59:47.Bad. Me Paul Hollywood in a camper van in the desert, cooking up my

:59:48. > :59:49.speciality, Eton Madge. Terrible joke. Great British Bake Off has

:59:50. > :00:05.raised... Well done, Mary and Paul. We should

:00:06. > :00:15.say thanks to all the other TV shows that have been so supportive. A huge

:00:16. > :00:22.thanks to Blue Peter - yes! Songs of Praise. Only Connect, Pointless,

:00:23. > :00:29.Famous, Rich Hungry, Sport Relief Does Glee Club and my favourite,

:00:30. > :00:38.Sport Relief's Top Dog. That was amazing. The best thing I have ever

:00:39. > :00:43.seen. Right. I have something very important to say. We are going to

:00:44. > :00:47.make it easier for you to give some cash tonight. All you need is a

:00:48. > :00:53.mobile phone. Have you got one? Good. Text, baby, you and me. Do you

:00:54. > :00:59.want to change the world with a simple text message? Of course you

:01:00. > :01:08.do! Here is how. You can choose to donate ?5 or ?10 - text "FIVE" or

:01:09. > :01:11.text "TEN" to 70510. All of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

:01:12. > :01:17.You must be 16 or over. Please ask the bill payer's permission. For

:01:18. > :01:25.more information, go to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. A ?5 message

:01:26. > :01:29.can save someone's life. Think how easily you could waste ?5. That

:01:30. > :01:33.pasty at the train station, that final pint at the end of the night

:01:34. > :01:38.when you know you don't need it, or four VIP tickets with full-back

:01:39. > :01:42.stage access to a Blue concert! You can waste ?5 very easily, alright?

:01:43. > :01:53.It is very easy to waste ?5. You can spend it on a cab journey that you

:01:54. > :01:56.could walk or on Jayne McDonald's autobiography. My point is this: Why

:01:57. > :02:02.not change someone's life with a simple text. If you have some money

:02:03. > :02:08.left over, you can then buy the book! Send the text message first.

:02:09. > :02:15.That is my point. Anyway, Claudia, hit me up with some details! Thank

:02:16. > :02:22.you. You - or you may want to give ?10. Yes, yes. Text "TEN" to the

:02:23. > :02:29.same number - 70510. Here is Andy Murray. You can donate by phone if

:02:30. > :02:36.you want. You can go online, that is really easy. You can always take a

:02:37. > :02:44.cheque to bank or building society, or Post Office. Or you can text, it

:02:45. > :02:56.is really easy. Text "FIVE" or text "TEN" - what was it? Either text

:02:57. > :02:58."FIVE" or text "TEN" to 70510. I'm very excited about it.

:02:59. > :03:13.So, to reiterate, some of you might have been drinking - Mary, get to

:03:14. > :03:21.bed - text "FIVE" or text "TEN" to 70510. I love you, really! It is

:03:22. > :03:26.time to say another - I can't speak - it is time to say another big

:03:27. > :03:29.thank you. Cravendale has been getting all active for Sport Relief

:03:30. > :03:34.with the staff fund-raising like mad. You customers have been

:03:35. > :03:38.guzzling the special bottles of milk with a 1p donation from every one

:03:39. > :03:40.you have bought going straight to Sport Relief. Thank you. Thank you.

:03:41. > :04:00.Thank you. Now, take a look at this. Got any lemonade? If you want. Milk?

:04:01. > :04:09.Urgh! It is what Ian Rush drinks. Ian Rush? Yes, Ian Rush! Cravendale

:04:10. > :04:14.are donating 1p from the special bottles of milk to Sport Relief.

:04:15. > :04:19.That is amazing. Exactly. Give me some. Get off!

:04:20. > :04:28.Let's find out what the brilliant people at Cravendale have raised.

:04:29. > :04:50.Here we go. Go on, Cravendale. Oh! Wow! Cravendale, Cravendale,

:04:51. > :04:57.Cravendale. Quite the cash cow! Earlier this month, the owner of 63

:04:58. > :05:02.international caps and scorer of a record-breaking 260 Premier League

:05:03. > :05:11.goals, England footballing legend, Alan Shearer OBE and Robbie Savage

:05:12. > :05:17.took on their own Sport Relief Challenge. Let's have a look at how

:05:18. > :05:21.they got on in the Battle of the Backsides. We are here at Wembley.

:05:22. > :05:25.We are about to try and sit on 45,000 seats, myself and Robbie.

:05:26. > :05:28.When you get asked to do the challenge, you think that will be

:05:29. > :05:30.easy. When you see the number of seats, it is horrendous, mentally

:05:31. > :05:49.and physically. I didn't think it would be as hard

:05:50. > :05:55.as that. When's the next break? It is hard on the hips and hard on my

:05:56. > :06:02.hands. Before the last break, I was 12 seats ahead. I think he's more. I

:06:03. > :06:04.expect him to be a few ahead. Not looking forward to tomorrow one bit.

:06:05. > :06:20.It will be hard. Oh! Horrendous. We are stiff. We are

:06:21. > :06:25.sore. I had to roll out of bed this morning. I couldn't tie my shoelaces

:06:26. > :06:29.up. It is a great view. It will be better on Friday night when we've

:06:30. > :06:42.finished. Seat after seat after seat. Everything is hurting at the

:06:43. > :06:50.moment. How easy can that be? How are you? Delighted to see you, it

:06:51. > :06:55.gives us another rest! Felt bad yesterday. I feel worse today. I

:06:56. > :07:12.felt like giving up today. Raising money made me carry on. It's

:07:13. > :07:17.hurting! There we go, 22,500. Halfway. I wish I could say it is

:07:18. > :07:33.all downhill! Today, we are going to try and set a Guinness World Record.

:07:34. > :07:38.When people talk about the magic of Wembley, you won't be able to join

:07:39. > :07:43.in with that. We think we are in pain here. We are not, really, are

:07:44. > :07:47.we? Worth every single seat for the money we are going to raise. Halfway

:07:48. > :07:55.through the final day, another 3,000 seats to go. The end is in sight.

:07:56. > :08:10.Come on. Are you OK? Fab! APPLAUSE

:08:11. > :08:29.Well done, pal! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

:08:30. > :08:31.a true Sport Relief hero and Welsh footballing legend, Mr Robbie

:08:32. > :08:50.Savage. Alan has not been able to make it

:08:51. > :09:00.tonight. First question, after all of that, how is the backside? Alan

:09:01. > :09:06.is at home! We have some stats here... It took five days, you sat

:09:07. > :09:14.on 45,000 seats each. 15 seats a minute. You burnt off 12 ,516

:09:15. > :09:20.calories. You look great. I know(!) It was hard. Pre-season training for

:09:21. > :09:25.21 years, but that was the hardest week of our lives. It doesn't look

:09:26. > :09:31.hard. When you say to people, it was just sitting down. Alan lost four

:09:32. > :09:37.marathons in calories and 10lb. Amazing. We want to let everyone

:09:38. > :09:40.know at home you can still enter the Battle of the Backsides competition

:09:41. > :09:43.to support the boys and win incredible prizes, like a trip to

:09:44. > :09:49.Brazil to see England play in the World Cup. Or tickets to Wimbledon

:09:50. > :09:52.Centre Court. Entries cost ?5. You must be over 18 and the competition

:09:53. > :09:59.closes at midday tomorrow. Full terms and conditions are on

:10:00. > :10:07.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. Make sure you are on the BBC website! Robbie, do

:10:08. > :10:12.you want to find out how much you and Alan raised? Yes, please. Let's

:10:13. > :10:18.have the Battle of the Backsides total, please.

:10:19. > :10:32.Congratulations. Amazing. Thank you. Well done. Incredible. What an

:10:33. > :10:37.amazing effort. We would like to give a massive thank you to Wembley

:10:38. > :10:40.Stadium, Five Live and the FA for all of their help with this

:10:41. > :10:44.challenge, but a massive thank you mainly to Alan Shearer and even more

:10:45. > :10:48.so, because he is here and Alan isn't, Robbie Savage. What an

:10:49. > :11:00.amazing achievement. Well done. Well done. Now, I promise you that lives

:11:01. > :11:04.are being changed. That's because of the donations you have made. Here is

:11:05. > :11:09.a film about a girl whose life has definitely been changed. She's

:11:10. > :11:15.called Eunice. This is a quarry in Nairobi. It's no

:11:16. > :11:19.place for children, but every day children come here to work alongside

:11:20. > :11:23.their mothers, as it is the only way for the families to earn enough

:11:24. > :11:27.money to survive. It was here that I met a little girl called Anne, who

:11:28. > :11:33.works here with her Mum. Do you hurt? Your hands? Yes. What things

:11:34. > :11:48.make you happy? The evening. That's because it's the

:11:49. > :11:55.only time that she's not here in the quarry doing this desperate work.

:11:56. > :12:02.Meeting Anne did remind me of a little girl that broke my heart 15

:12:03. > :12:05.years ago. She was called Eunice. She was making breakfast in the

:12:06. > :12:10.slums and every night she went to sleep fearing that her home was

:12:11. > :12:17.going to get bulldozed. She lived in fear constantly. That night, they

:12:18. > :12:25.came when we are sleeping and started beating us. They demolished

:12:26. > :12:30.our house. When you go to sleep at night here, are you frightened? Are

:12:31. > :12:34.you afraid? Of course, yes. Eunice, what would it mean to you to have

:12:35. > :12:39.your own piece of land? I could be very happy. That's exactly what

:12:40. > :12:44.happened. Your money went to work and Eunice and her family moved into

:12:45. > :12:49.a new home away from the dangers of the slum. In that house, she was

:12:50. > :12:55.able to do her homework, and eventually made it to university.

:12:56. > :13:00.YOU changed her life. I always remembered Eunice as clear as day.

:13:01. > :13:05.My kids know Eunice. My husband knows Eunice. She's part of us. I'm

:13:06. > :13:29.not leaving this country without seeing her. Hey, Eunice!

:13:30. > :13:40.I can't imagine I'm seeing you. Oh God! You look exactly the same. You,

:13:41. > :13:45.too. I never thought I could recognise you.

:13:46. > :14:00.How old are you now? I'm turning 26. Oh my God! I met you 15 years ago.

:14:01. > :14:07.Yes. For sure. You need someone to give you this period, to show you

:14:08. > :14:13.that there is a better life. And that's you. That's where I am. Oh

:14:14. > :14:20.God, I'm happy. What are you doing? Actually, what you did to me really

:14:21. > :14:25.turned my life. I grew up a girl with high spirit. Knowing that one

:14:26. > :14:34.day life will change. It is not going to remain like this. I decided

:14:35. > :14:38.to do a home but not any home, I decided to do a home for kids with

:14:39. > :14:47.special needs. Did you? I did that. You have become such a strong,

:14:48. > :14:53.independent young woman. It's so far away from the little girl that I

:14:54. > :15:04.met. I'm proud. Because of what you planted in me, that seed has grown

:15:05. > :15:13.and girls need help. Girls need help for real. Yeah. To empower one

:15:14. > :15:18.another, so at least we can go far. Like you have. Yeah, yeah, sure.

:15:19. > :15:25.It's all because of you. It's not. It's because of you. Younis' life

:15:26. > :15:30.was transformed because of the money you gave. But there are other girls

:15:31. > :15:40.out there, just like Ann, that desperately need your help. Let's do

:15:41. > :15:48.it again tonight, please, give what you can. 03457 910 910.

:15:49. > :15:55.APPLAUSE There are lots of Younises, they

:15:56. > :16:05.need your support, give ?5 or ?10, text the word five or ten to 70510.

:16:06. > :16:10.For full terms please visit bbc.co.uk Sport Relief. Thank you.

:16:11. > :16:13.It's been an amazing evening. Thank you so much to everyone who has

:16:14. > :16:19.given already much it's time to look at what the total currently stands

:16:20. > :16:30.at. Ready? The total so far tonight is...

:16:31. > :16:42.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you so much for donating.

:16:43. > :16:50.Thank you so much. Well done everyone. Thank you. We are off now.

:16:51. > :16:56.Gary Lineker and Fearne Cotton are here next. Before that, it's time...

:16:57. > :17:06.She's very excited. Part two of Andy Murray on Mock the Week.

:17:07. > :17:28.Welcome to a special edition of mock the reel for Sport Relief. This

:17:29. > :17:32.round it called Scenes we'd tlieck see. So, the topic of this round is

:17:33. > :17:41.Unlikely Things For Andy Murray To Think. No-one will miss these

:17:42. > :17:45.towels, will they? I wish Rafael Nadal would stop picking his shorts

:17:46. > :17:54.out of his cars, cos I'm going to have to shake his hand in a minute.

:17:55. > :18:04.It's championship point... I could really do with a poo. Well, at least

:18:05. > :18:10.now I've won Wimbledon they'll stop making fun of me on television. Oi,

:18:11. > :18:23.Tim! Look what I've just won! Wahey! I must remember to keep talking in

:18:24. > :18:29.the Scottish accent. It's very hard when you live in Surrey. BAD

:18:30. > :18:41.SCOTTISH ACCENT: I remember when I used to train... What is that?! He's

:18:42. > :18:47.in the room! So. BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT: I remember when I used to...

:18:48. > :18:52...train in Scotland, I was a lot more unhealthier. I used to serve

:18:53. > :19:02.with a potato instead of a ball so I could have lots of chips afterwards.

:19:03. > :19:11.Five sets. That should be enough underwear. I wonder if my mum's

:19:12. > :19:22.watching today? Of course she is. She's always watching. I could break

:19:23. > :19:38.his serve... ..or I could break his legs. When are Athena going to make

:19:39. > :19:42.a poster of ME scratching my cars? # In between games I get free orange

:19:43. > :19:53.squash # Free orange squash Free orange squash... # This ball's not

:19:54. > :20:01.as bouncy as it should be. I'll go to the doctor after the tournament.

:20:02. > :20:04.They say I'm now the poster boy for Scottish sport, taking over from

:20:05. > :20:13.David Coulthard. But David Coulthard only got the job because his head

:20:14. > :20:25.was the same shape as a poster. I wonder if Kim really likes tennis?

:20:26. > :20:39.Well, I've never noticed before just how... Beautiful and smooth... Rafa

:20:40. > :20:41.Nadal's skin is. I wish Kim would shut up. "Oh, Ed Byrne, he's so

:20:42. > :20:52.funny!" Thank you for watching Mock The Week

:20:53. > :20:54.For Sport Relief. Please keep watching and most importantly,

:20:55. > :20:57.please keep donating. Have a wonderful night, and our thanks

:20:58. > :21:28.again to Andy Murray for coming on the show.

:21:29. > :21:40.Chat of the Titans. Ladies and gentleman, it's chat of the Titans.

:21:41. > :21:52.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello and welcome to the final part

:21:53. > :21:58.of Sport Relief 2014. We're still live from the copper box arena.

:21:59. > :22:03.There we are. You're still here. I was trying to go home. That's

:22:04. > :22:07.brilliant. It's great to be still here and wow 45 million. An

:22:08. > :22:09.incredible amount of money so far. What about Clash of the Titans, who

:22:10. > :22:12.enjoyed that? CHEERING

:22:13. > :22:15.So good. We are going to be chatting to John and Seb and their teams in a

:22:16. > :22:21.moment. I will never be able to get the sight of Seb Coe in a skin tight

:22:22. > :22:27.gymnastics outfit out of my mind ever, ever. Apparently behind closed

:22:28. > :22:32.doors that's how he won us the Olympics. I thought so. What about

:22:33. > :22:35.Grimmy doing rhythmic gymnastics. So good. That is a typical Friday night

:22:36. > :22:40.for Grimmy. Every Friday, that's what he does. Let's look at what's

:22:41. > :22:48.coming up in our part of the show, or as we're calling it, the Chat of

:22:49. > :22:53.the Titans. Coming up: Stars from the Clash of the Titans join us live

:22:54. > :22:57.in the studio. A look behind-the-scenes of the England

:22:58. > :23:05.World Cup video. # Greatest day of our lives #

:23:06. > :23:11.Some football managers with jokes. I'm having trouble spelling

:23:12. > :23:15.armageddon, oh, well it's not the end of the word. And Only Fools and

:23:16. > :23:21.Horses. If I asked you to go into the High Street wearing a sarong,

:23:22. > :23:25.would you? Well... APPLAUSE

:23:26. > :23:28.All that is still to come. Stay watching please to the end of the

:23:29. > :23:32.show, when you get another chance to see Only Fools and Horses, with

:23:33. > :23:37.David Beckham. Fearne, I started the show, what, six hours ago now? A

:23:38. > :23:42.while ago. It's been a long day. You put your feet up, because this part

:23:43. > :23:45.of the show will be more relaxed, a bit different. It is going to be

:23:46. > :23:48.chilled. Half of the money you donate tonight will be spent right

:23:49. > :23:53.here in the UK, don't forget. You need to remember that. We spend it

:23:54. > :23:57.right here. Here's Martin Shaw. ? I want to talk to you about

:23:58. > :24:02.post-traumatic stress disorder and introduce a very brave man who has

:24:03. > :24:06.agreed to tell us his story. One of the things I didn't know about this

:24:07. > :24:12.illness is that it can take years to strike. So, you go through a trauma,

:24:13. > :24:18.you think you're fine. Then years later, your world falls to pieces.

:24:19. > :24:24.It's terrifying for you and for the people who love you.

:24:25. > :24:28.I knew quite early on that Tanya was special and that I wanted to spend

:24:29. > :24:32.the rest of my life with her. We have two beautiful boys and I love

:24:33. > :24:37.my family to pieces. There's nothing I won't do for them. We both had

:24:38. > :24:45.good jobs, got a house, a mortgage. Something just snapped. In 1992,

:24:46. > :24:51.Paul joined the Army catering corps and at just 19 years old, he was

:24:52. > :24:56.sent out to Bosnia. We were coming across completely abandoned and

:24:57. > :25:00.blown apart villages. We were finding corporations, pulling bodies

:25:01. > :25:05.out of the river. It was horrible. In 1999, Paul left the Army. He got

:25:06. > :25:09.married, started a family and settled into life back at home. Ten

:25:10. > :25:15.years down-the-line, the effects of what Paul had witnessed as a young

:25:16. > :25:20.soldier changed his life forever. I was having flashbacks and anxiety

:25:21. > :25:26.attacks. Every time I stepped out of my front door, I thought I was going

:25:27. > :25:29.to die. I thought I was going to come across corporations. I was

:25:30. > :25:35.going to have that smell all the time. So I'd be sick. I'd be

:25:36. > :25:40.throwing up. I'd run away. I'd run back in and slam the door. I

:25:41. > :25:43.couldn't do it. Paul became so traumatised, he left his job and

:25:44. > :25:49.didn't leave his house for nine months. I had to film Thomas' first

:25:50. > :25:56.Christmas play, because Paul couldn't cope with the crowds. When

:25:57. > :26:02.a child is looking into the crowd and trying to find their parents,

:26:03. > :26:07.they see me, but they didn't see daddy. I wasn't a husband or a

:26:08. > :26:11.father at all, during that time. I thought I was worthless. I didn't

:26:12. > :26:20.see the point in me being involved as part of the family. He told me

:26:21. > :26:30.that he had planned to commit suicide. You always think that if I

:26:31. > :26:40.had picked it up earlier, we may not have gone through half of what we've

:26:41. > :26:44.gone through. Sorry. Paul's wife contacted Combat Stress, a project

:26:45. > :26:47.supported by Sport Relief that offers care and treatment to

:26:48. > :26:52.veterans of the British armed forces. Paul was diagnosed with

:26:53. > :26:58.severe, complex post-traumatic stress. Daryl is one of the mental

:26:59. > :27:03.health nurse who's helps veterans through a terrifying time. The Paul

:27:04. > :27:07.you see now is so far removed from the Paul that we saw walking through

:27:08. > :27:13.those gates two-and-a-half years before. I haven't, thankfully, for

:27:14. > :27:18.about 18 months been on any medication. I'm back in fulltime

:27:19. > :27:23.employment. He's amazing. He has worked so hards. That's why -- hard.

:27:24. > :27:28.That's why he is where he is. I have bad days, but I know how to control

:27:29. > :27:40.them. He's not afraid any more. He's not having panic attacks and the

:27:41. > :27:48.boys have got their dad back. Come on, Thomas.

:27:49. > :27:52.Now being able to go out and kick a ball around with my boys and my

:27:53. > :28:04.wife, I feel happy about life again. For veterans like Paul, the battle

:28:05. > :28:11.doesn't end when they come home, but tonight, you can help them and the

:28:12. > :28:17.families. Without Combat Stress, I would not be here. And I can't thank

:28:18. > :28:24.them enough. Please call: 03457 910 910. Thank

:28:25. > :28:28.you. A completely heart breaking, but

:28:29. > :28:32.massively heart warming film. Your money does so many amazing things.

:28:33. > :28:40.If you're thinking, well, how can I help? Let me tell you how. Text the

:28:41. > :28:44.word five or ten to 70510 to give five or ten pounds. Give what you

:28:45. > :28:51.can. Here's a reminder of how to give o ?10 from Gareth Southgate.

:28:52. > :28:56.Where are you? Yes, well, you know, I turned up to see the match today

:28:57. > :29:00.and I think I might have got the kick-off time wrong or the date

:29:01. > :29:06.wrong, the ground... It's completely empty. But yeah Sport Relief, it's

:29:07. > :29:10.the details are behind me. Someone's graffitied it onto the stand. It's

:29:11. > :29:18.not something you want to see in the modern game, but it's very helpful.

:29:19. > :29:23.Basically text ten to 70510. Texts cost ?10. ?10 of that goes to Sport

:29:24. > :29:27.Relief, which I think is 100% of that. You must be 16 or over and

:29:28. > :29:32.check with the bill bayer to see that you get their permission. For

:29:33. > :29:35.more information go to bbc.co.uk/Sport Relief. I should

:29:36. > :29:39.have gone online to check the time and date of this match really.

:29:40. > :29:43.APPLAUSE Thanks to Alistair McGowan there. We

:29:44. > :29:47.are going to meet our first guests now from the Clash of the Titans.

:29:48. > :29:51.The two captains, John Bishop and Seb Coe. Let's remind ourselves...

:29:52. > :29:55.No they'll remind us, they're right here. Let's not keep them waiting.

:29:56. > :30:17.Welcome John Bishop and Seb Coe! Good to see you. Hello. Nice to meet

:30:18. > :30:23.you. How are you doing? I'm doing alright. Take a seat. Hi, chaps. How

:30:24. > :30:28.you doing? We are doing alright, actually. Lord Coe, congratulations,

:30:29. > :30:37.the winning team tonight? Thank you. Feeling good about it? We are all

:30:38. > :30:42.winners. Technically not! I have a free tracksuit! That shows the

:30:43. > :30:46.difference in the two teams. I'm wearing the clothes I've got for

:30:47. > :30:53.nothing! So would I if you hadn't thrown me in the pool! Fair result?

:30:54. > :31:01.I think it was probably reflective of the fact that Lord Coe has

:31:02. > :31:05.influence! There were certain races, you can't argue with a race and I

:31:06. > :31:10.apologise for my performance in the cycling. I need to correct that. It

:31:11. > :31:19.cost you, didn't it? It probably did. I needed to do 1,000 laps!

:31:20. > :31:23.However, when it came to rhythmic gymnastics, I think we all know

:31:24. > :31:27.where the passion lay. Really? We all know where the scores should

:31:28. > :31:33.have been. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. I thought,

:31:34. > :31:40.Seb, you had such elegance and grace? We can take a look at it. I

:31:41. > :31:54.thought so. Impressive. Can we see that moment? Beautiful! Such grace.

:31:55. > :31:59.Yes. Yes. Look at that, that says swan! As soon as you see that, you

:32:00. > :32:07.think, there's a swan! With a ribbon! Let's throw some bread at

:32:08. > :32:12.it! Let's have a look back at YOUR gymnastics face, John. Have a little

:32:13. > :32:19.look at this. It is like you are sucking a toffee! Some of it in me

:32:20. > :32:25.mouth as well! That is probably why Seb is a peer of the realm and you

:32:26. > :32:31.are not! It might be that. You know what? That's a working man's use of

:32:32. > :32:36.a ribbon. That's what it is like when you use a ribbon and you have

:32:37. > :32:43.never done it before. Let's be fair, it is not HIS first go. Every Friday

:32:44. > :32:51.night. Friday night is ribbon night? Yes. The Lycra - it was a nice look,

:32:52. > :33:00.was it chaffing? Comfortable? That's a bit too much information! Sorry.

:33:01. > :33:05.We can take that on if you like? I have a rash I didn't have this

:33:06. > :33:10.morning! That's got nothing to do with the Lycra! No. You have done

:33:11. > :33:14.some things for Sport Relief? Exactly. You have to think of the

:33:15. > :33:22.bigger picture. Have they got pictures on you? Definitely. They

:33:23. > :33:28.must have. Without a doubt. Did you enjoy tonight? It was very, very

:33:29. > :33:34.good fun tonight. Really good fun. Rhythmic gymnastics is very

:33:35. > :33:41.difficult. Yes. Ask Gabby. Yes. She was great with the hoop. That was

:33:42. > :33:45.her sport. The thing is, it was good fun, it was great fun for us, but I

:33:46. > :33:49.hope it was good entertainment for people at home and it drew people

:33:50. > :33:54.into the show so that they were watching and getting the messages on

:33:55. > :34:04.the back of it. I think so. It is all going swimmingly well. Sinkingly

:34:05. > :34:09.well! It must have brought back great memories. It is home. For us,

:34:10. > :34:16.it is the Olympic Village. For him, it is like, "I built that!" It is

:34:17. > :34:22.like his own Lego garden. With a bit of help. Not everyone got a

:34:23. > :34:30.knighthood! It all finished in such a beautiful way... Deal with it!

:34:31. > :34:34.They are having a domestic. Flintoff ended it so beautifully pushing you

:34:35. > :34:39.both in the pull, which was more of a scary moment for you, Seb... It

:34:40. > :34:44.was quite a scary moment. I wasn't really joking about my swimming

:34:45. > :34:51.inability. There was my - my daughter thought I'm going to have

:34:52. > :34:56.to jump in. That reflected the union that existed between the two teams.

:34:57. > :35:03.None of the blue team went in to save him. We can see that moment.

:35:04. > :35:24.They all moved out of the way. That is his stroke! That was so

:35:25. > :35:29.good. I was hoping somebody might have come in there. No-one was

:35:30. > :35:34.there. You do know pushing a Lord into a pool is technically treason?

:35:35. > :35:41.Particularly a Lord that looks like a swan! You can't offend the Queen

:35:42. > :35:47.anymore, can you? I was once described as the Nuryev of the

:35:48. > :35:51.track! With or without ribbons? Thank you so much. You did such an

:35:52. > :35:55.amazing job. It was beyond entertaining. Thank you.

:35:56. > :36:05.APPLAUSE There is something you would like to

:36:06. > :36:08.introduce, John? Yeah, I got involved with Sport Relief a couple

:36:09. > :36:14.of years ago. As many people know, I went to Sierra Leone two years ago.

:36:15. > :36:18.It was a visit that changed my view of the world, really. Sport Relief

:36:19. > :36:24.is able to provide opportunities for people in so many ways, but it can

:36:25. > :36:27.also change lives by doing something quite simple, like providing people

:36:28. > :36:34.with the opportunity to have a vaccine.

:36:35. > :36:45.This Children's Hospital is the only one in the whole of Sierra Leone.

:36:46. > :36:50.This country has one of the worst child mortality rates in the world

:36:51. > :36:52.for preventible illnesses like diarrhoea and pneumonia and this

:36:53. > :37:00.hospital is on the frontline of a very unfair fight. This is the first

:37:01. > :37:05.point of call for the parents with some of the sickest children. As you

:37:06. > :37:17.can see, there's some desperate kids. You can hardly imagine what it

:37:18. > :37:22.feels like to sit and to know that some of the children in here are

:37:23. > :37:36.possibly not going to make it. It is heartbreaking to see.

:37:37. > :37:45.It's 9.00am and already, for two families today, the worst has

:37:46. > :37:55.happened. What you are looking at is the body of a child that came in

:37:56. > :38:02.last night with diarrhoea, a three-year-old boy. They arrived at

:38:03. > :38:11.the hospital at 3.00am and was dead at 5.00am. With severe diarrhoea. It

:38:12. > :38:15.is important to not have your heart ripped out because there's no

:38:16. > :38:22.parents who can imagine what it is like to lose a child, and to lose it

:38:23. > :38:30.to something that could be prevented. This woman is here with

:38:31. > :38:37.her daughter. She has severe pneumonia. She spent every minute of

:38:38. > :38:42.the last 72 hours praying that her child won't end up the same way.

:38:43. > :38:54.This is a scary place to be for any parent. I've got three boys in

:38:55. > :39:08.England - big boys. I've never been scared that they won't survive.

:39:09. > :39:16.Sometimes hope is all there is. One in five children in Sierra Leone

:39:17. > :39:18.don't make it to the age of five. Across the way, another child has

:39:19. > :39:48.become a terrible statistic. This may happen here every day, but

:39:49. > :40:01.the grief is always unbearable. I can't imagine what it must feel like

:40:02. > :40:07.to come... To come and have to take your child home to bury them. Less

:40:08. > :40:17.than 24 hours after you have brought them here. That's how severe this

:40:18. > :40:25.is. That's how close we are to death and every single child has died for

:40:26. > :40:33.a preventible disease. So, please give what you can.

:40:34. > :40:42.I haven't seen that film for two years, since it went out. Sometimes

:40:43. > :40:46.when I'm watching it, it felt like it was someone else. I remember what

:40:47. > :40:51.it smelt like to be there and what it sounded like and there were

:40:52. > :40:57.moments there that, in all honesty, we didn't put on the film. There was

:40:58. > :41:02.a mother who lost a child whilst we were there and the noise that left

:41:03. > :41:06.her body was the sound I'll never forget. Nobody should lose a child

:41:07. > :41:11.for something that we can all prevent. YOU can make a difference.

:41:12. > :41:16.WE can do all of this and we can all have a laugh and we can all watch

:41:17. > :41:22.some telly for a few hours. But tonight you have the power to change

:41:23. > :41:28.lives and you have the power to give kids a chance who, right now,

:41:29. > :41:31.haven't got one. And I know it is hard for everybody, and I know

:41:32. > :41:36.sometimes it feels like we are always asking you to give, but I'm

:41:37. > :41:41.asking you for the next hour, get your phones out and to text - if you

:41:42. > :41:46.can text "FIVE" or text "TEN" to 70510, you will be giving ?5 or ?10.

:41:47. > :41:50.You won't be giving money, you will be giving hope and you will be

:41:51. > :41:55.giving life. And you will be giving people a chance where there isn't

:41:56. > :41:59.one. I can't tell you how it feels when you are in those places - and

:42:00. > :42:04.we have been there. You don't have to go there to change lives. You

:42:05. > :42:08.just have to get your phone out. It's that simple. Thanks for all you

:42:09. > :42:14.have done so far and all you are going to do in the future. God

:42:15. > :42:18.bless. Thank you very much, John. Texts will cost your donation plus

:42:19. > :42:21.the standard message charge. For full-times, go to

:42:22. > :42:25.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. -- full terms, go to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

:42:26. > :42:31.Watching that, being a new mum as well, I find... It does. I think

:42:32. > :42:38.when you have children, we were talking before about our own kids,

:42:39. > :42:42.it's a measure of your own life and it's heartbreaking to lose them

:42:43. > :42:47.under any circumstances. But to lose them for the sake of a price of a

:42:48. > :42:54.cappuccino. It is wrong. Yes. Thank you. Right, together, as a team, we

:42:55. > :42:59.can change things. We can make a difference. And we really are here

:43:00. > :43:34.all the way from LA with magic, it is cold play.

:43:35. > :43:44.# Call it magic # Call it true

:43:45. > :43:56.# I call it magic # When I'm with you

:43:57. > :44:03.# And I just got broken # Broken into two

:44:04. > :44:13.# Still I call it magic # When I'm next to you

:44:14. > :44:17.# And I don't and I don't and I don't and I don't

:44:18. > :44:21.# No, I don't it's true # I don't, no I don't

:44:22. > :44:25.# No I don't, no I don't # Want anybody else but you

:44:26. > :44:29.# I don't, no I don't # No I don't, no I don't

:44:30. > :44:33.# No, I don't it's true # I don't, no I don't

:44:34. > :44:44.# No I don't, no I don't # Want anybody else but you

:44:45. > :44:54.# Call it magic # Cut me into two

:44:55. > :45:05.# And with all your magic # I disappear from view

:45:06. > :45:14.# And I can't get over # Can't get over you

:45:15. > :45:24.# Still I call it magic # Such a precious jewel

:45:25. > :45:28.# And I don't and I don't and I don't and I don't

:45:29. > :45:32.# No, I don't, it's true # I don't, no I don't

:45:33. > :45:36.# No I don't, no I don't # Want anybody else but you

:45:37. > :45:40.# I don't, no I don't # No I don't, no I don't

:45:41. > :45:44.# No, I don't, it's true # I don't, no I don't

:45:45. > :45:52.# No I don't, no I don't # Want anybody else but you

:45:53. > :46:06.# Want to fall, fall so far # I want to fall, fall so hard

:46:07. > :46:13.# And I call it magic # And I call it true

:46:14. > :46:53.# I call it magic # And if you were to ask me

:46:54. > :47:03.# After all that we've been through # Still believe in magic?

:47:04. > :47:23.# Yes, I do # Of course I do.

:47:24. > :47:37.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you, thank you, thank you the

:47:38. > :47:45.amazing Coldplay. Not only for that performance, but for their generous,

:47:46. > :47:48.wait for it, ?260,000 donation to Jo Wiley and the radio around the world

:47:49. > :47:52.challenge. Incredible. APPLAUSE

:47:53. > :47:56.Unbelievably generous. I've been here all night and we've seen some

:47:57. > :47:59.fantastic stuff. Tonight is just the beginning of the Sport Relief

:48:00. > :48:05.weekend. Here's what's coming up on Sunday.

:48:06. > :48:09.Join us on Sunday at 1. 15 on BBC One for the Sport Relief game show.

:48:10. > :48:13.We'll be live from Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park for the sportiest day

:48:14. > :48:16.of Sport Relief ever. Across the country, thousands of you will be

:48:17. > :48:20.either cycling, swimming or just dog a mile, however you can. We will

:48:21. > :48:24.bring you all the action, as well as celebrities taking on Olympic-sized

:48:25. > :48:31.challenges in funny costumes. Get your trainers on, test your bike

:48:32. > :48:36.bell and blow up those rubber wings. Don't miss the Sport Relief fun and

:48:37. > :48:43.games. Sorry, mate, bit of a trouble with a astonishingle.

:48:44. > :48:48.-- with a astonishingel. -- snorkel. Tune in on Sunday for the fun and

:48:49. > :48:52.games. There's still time to sign up for the Sport Relief games. Details

:48:53. > :48:57.on your screen now. Don't miss out. Time for our next guest, please

:48:58. > :49:02.welcome from Seb's victorious team, Greg James, Sally Philips and

:49:03. > :49:35.Richard bacon. Hello, welcome Team Bishop, Patrick

:49:36. > :49:41.Kielty and Helen Skelton. He still has the hat on.?

:49:42. > :49:48.APPLAUSE That's cute. Hi guys. How are you?

:49:49. > :49:52.Sit on each others' laps maybe. I'll sit up here. It's like a school

:49:53. > :49:59.photo. It's lovely. Richard, let's start with you. You brought it home

:50:00. > :50:03.for your team tonight. Thank you so much. That must have felt so good.

:50:04. > :50:08.It did feel good. It was terrifying having that position, at the end,

:50:09. > :50:11.because it felt as though the result slightly depended on me not entirely

:50:12. > :50:17.messing the entire thing up. Half the way down the final lap, I took a

:50:18. > :50:21.massive mouthful of water, I couldn't breathe properly. I thought

:50:22. > :50:27.I might have stop. I thought, wow, I'll be on BBC One, and looking like

:50:28. > :50:32.a child who couldn't complete their 25-metre badge and we will lose

:50:33. > :50:46.because of me. That did not happen. But let's have a look.

:50:47. > :50:55.How hairy are you? Unbelievable. I am furious for the BBC for not

:50:56. > :50:59.telling me there would be an underwater camera You could have had

:51:00. > :51:04.a little wax or something. I know that now! There needs to be a

:51:05. > :51:09.sponsored waxing of your arm pits. Let's do it right now.

:51:10. > :51:18.Bring out the wax. That's not happening. Greg, you had a scuffle

:51:19. > :51:24.with Flynn. -- Flynn toff. -- Flintoff and came out better. He's

:51:25. > :51:32.such a beast. He's going to hunt you down. Is not my sport. I can do

:51:33. > :51:38.danty dancing -- dainty dancing in the water, I can't do beastly

:51:39. > :51:48.cycling. That's not for me. Shall we see that moment? Ol your myrrhs led

:51:49. > :51:57.them over the line. Look at this from Freddie Flintoff. That's so

:51:58. > :52:03.good. He clipped a few bikes. He was keen to do that from the start,

:52:04. > :52:11.though. He was a bit kamikaze. I think you'll find, he won.

:52:12. > :52:16.I've cycled with Freddie on a number of occasions, and a lot of people

:52:17. > :52:19.that me coming last was a disappointment. It wasn't. I was

:52:20. > :52:24.just getting out of his way. I knew what was coming. I want to talk

:52:25. > :52:28.about a moment in the pool. #1y50 there's many -- There's many

:52:29. > :52:32.moments. There's a kicking of the leg moment. Was it choreographed or

:52:33. > :53:13.fighting for your life? The outfit suited you. I would have

:53:14. > :53:14.got my bikini line done if they had come in that close!

:53:15. > :53:15.nice mixture of both. Be honest, anyone who has ever weed in

:53:16. > :53:19.got my bikini line done if they had come in that close! Did you stuff

:53:20. > :53:27.some socks down there? How very dare you! Greg, you were in most of the

:53:28. > :53:32.events there, the only one you weren't was an all female event. You

:53:33. > :53:36.are no stranger to dressing up as a lady. I'm not sure if your

:53:37. > :53:47.team-mates have seen this. Here is Greg in action. OK. This is so good.

:53:48. > :54:03.What was this? A huge YouTube hit. The shame is, you can't unwatch

:54:04. > :54:12.that. That's gone into your head now. It doesn't get any easier to

:54:13. > :54:16.watch it, ever. I can do that. I can do stupid synchro swimming. It was

:54:17. > :54:22.the swimming relay and the other one that I thought no. You have all done

:54:23. > :54:27.brilliantly. We are so happy and thankful for what you did tonight.

:54:28. > :54:30.That hat, slightly... It is distracting. He is breaking into

:54:31. > :54:39.song. It was amazing to perform in the

:54:40. > :54:44.Olympic venues. If it's raised loads of money, then it's job done. And

:54:45. > :54:53.let's be honest, Greg, we will never be allowed to do it again. Joo-Ho

:54:54. > :54:57.we've been banned. Thank you so much to both teams. Tonight we've seen

:54:58. > :55:00.people take on challenges for Sport Relief, but the real stars of

:55:01. > :55:04.tonight have been you, and all the many brilliant things that you've

:55:05. > :55:07.done to raise millions of pounds for Sport Relief.

:55:08. > :55:08.Here's just some of the many ways you've been pulling out all the

:55:09. > :57:13.stops for Sport Relief 2014. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:57:14. > :57:18.Thank you so much to all of you out there. You've been amazing and we're

:57:19. > :57:23.so grateful for our fundraising total. What an amazing total. This

:57:24. > :57:28.is ease -- this has easily been the biggest and best Sport Relief ever.

:57:29. > :57:33.You can own some of the best bits forever, if you like. Here's an

:57:34. > :57:37.exclusive look behind-the-scenes at Sport Relief's greatest day.

:57:38. > :57:41.We're here to shoot the sketch that will start the World Cup song for

:57:42. > :57:45.England this summer. We're here for Sport Relief doing a little sketch,

:57:46. > :57:50.basically taking the make out of England and Gary. Is there going to

:57:51. > :57:58.be a song really? Yeah, yeah. Gary, what do you know about making a

:57:59. > :58:03.song? It's the video shoot today. We've shot part one of this sketch

:58:04. > :58:07.in Manchester, a few weeks ago. The day has arrived to record the actual

:58:08. > :58:12.song. This is Elliott, who's Gary Barlow's

:58:13. > :58:18.musical director. He's going to look after us all today. I'm the natural

:58:19. > :58:26.person to organise a song, get it together like this and lead. It I'm

:58:27. > :58:36.football's equivalent of Bob Geldof. # Today this could be... #

:58:37. > :58:45.# Today this could be the greatest day of our lives. #

:58:46. > :58:50.That's it. Done, great. Brilliant. Nice and quiet. And...

:58:51. > :58:53.# Today this could be the greatest... We will get all the

:58:54. > :59:01.footballers down, and the rest of the artists down and record the

:59:02. > :59:07.charity single shots. # And the world comes alive

:59:08. > :59:10.# And the world... Being the best singer out of the footballers as

:59:11. > :59:14.well, there's probably a few deaf ears out there, that's all I can

:59:15. > :59:20.say. I thought you sounded pretty good Gary. Do you think? Bit of a

:59:21. > :59:24.tenor. It's been brilliant. Just meeting

:59:25. > :59:29.everyone and everyone being here and getting into the spirit of the World

:59:30. > :59:39.Cup. Amazing characters, perfect day. Bless you. It's been a day to

:59:40. > :59:49.remember. Brilliant. Guaranteed hit. APPLAUSE

:59:50. > :59:55.What a voice. I am the world's worst singer. You can download the video

:59:56. > :59:59.if you want, as well as a brilliant Only Fools and Horses package, which

:00:00. > :00:03.you should, and loads of other goodies by going to iTunes, by

:00:04. > :00:07.buying them you will give money to Sport Relief. Coming up: It's

:00:08. > :00:11.another chance to see the full Only Fools and Horses sketch. But now,

:00:12. > :00:13.time for a quick thank you to all the brilliant radio station that's

:00:14. > :00:17.have supported Sport Relief this year. Thanks to the whole of BBC

:00:18. > :00:23.Radio for radio around the world, a special thanks to Radio 1's Grimmy,

:00:24. > :00:31.who did 12 hours on a bike and covered 1210 miles with the team.

:00:32. > :00:37.Also radio's two Jo wiley, who did 26 hours on a tread mill.

:00:38. > :00:47.Incredible. We thought they were all going, but they just won't leave! We

:00:48. > :00:53.shall chat some more. We now have evidence of Paddy's package. Want to

:00:54. > :00:59.see it? I was born with it. I have a reasonable idea what it is. Now it

:01:00. > :01:03.is on your head! Let's check out and see his package!

:01:04. > :01:20.All bought and paid for! That is so great. We all cheered! That is the

:01:21. > :01:28.biggest thing to come out of Belfast since the Titanic! Helen, let's talk

:01:29. > :01:33.about your gymnastic routine. There was a slight error at the end and

:01:34. > :01:38.you hit the ball out of the way with your backside? I did a forward roll

:01:39. > :01:42.on the advice of Nick Grimshaw. The ball hit me on the backside and

:01:43. > :01:56.rolled away. I pretended it was still there. Let's see the moment.

:01:57. > :02:12.That was quite an accomplishment. We should have got extra points for

:02:13. > :02:17.that. Amazing. You can now go home and recover and rest and celebrate.

:02:18. > :02:20.Give it up for our two magnificent teams.

:02:21. > :02:33.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE John and Lord Coe, thank you. Lift

:02:34. > :02:37.it. Do it! Now, Radio 1's very own Grimmy got to go to Kenya this year

:02:38. > :02:42.to see how your money helped so many people out there. Have a look. In

:02:43. > :02:45.Kenya, and across the poorest parts of the world, pneumonia and

:02:46. > :02:50.diarrhoea are leading causes of death in the under fives. When a

:02:51. > :02:52.child gets sick here, it can be really serious and it can happen

:02:53. > :03:13.really quickly. This doctor is starting his shift in

:03:14. > :03:18.the acute paediatric ward where the sickest children in the hospital

:03:19. > :03:22.teeter between life and death. Already today, a little boy lost his

:03:23. > :03:42.fight. There are now four critically ill

:03:43. > :03:47.children on the ward. Two of them have pneumonia and diarrhoea. Both

:03:48. > :04:00.are conditions that can be prevented.

:04:01. > :04:07.Emmanuel and his Mum have been in the ward even longer.

:04:08. > :04:11.The doctor is concerned that Emmanuel's condition is not

:04:12. > :04:33.improving. Emmanuel's heart has stopped. He's

:04:34. > :04:53.no longer breathing. The doctor fights to bring him back.

:04:54. > :05:21.Now, Hannah is in trouble. Dr David is worried her lungs are collapsing.

:05:22. > :05:27.For the second time in a few hours, he fights to save a life. Hannah's

:05:28. > :05:51.mother can barely watch. As night falls, Dr David has got his

:05:52. > :05:53.patients through another day. Tomorrow, the fight starts over

:05:54. > :06:36.again. If you have got a phone, you can

:06:37. > :06:43.change someone's life. You can donate ?5 or ?10. Text "FIVE" or

:06:44. > :06:47.text "TEN" to 70510. Thank you. Texts will cost your donation plus

:06:48. > :06:50.the standard message charge. All of your donation will go to Sport

:06:51. > :06:56.Relief. Ask the bill payer's permission. For more information, go

:06:57. > :07:00.to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. Now, being a football manager is one of the

:07:01. > :07:04.most stressful jobs you can do, sometimes you just need to relax and

:07:05. > :07:10.have a bit of a laugh. Here's some doing just that.

:07:11. > :07:18.A teacher at a Southampton school asked her class who supported

:07:19. > :07:22.Southampton Football Club. They all raised their hands, except one young

:07:23. > :07:27.lad. The teacher said to him, "Who do you support?" He said, "I support

:07:28. > :07:33.Portsmouth because my mum and dad are Portsmouth supporters." The

:07:34. > :07:41.teacher said, "If your mum and dad were morons would be you be a

:07:42. > :07:48.moron?" "No, I would be a Southampton fan!" What do you call a

:07:49. > :07:53.sleepwalking nun? A roaming Catholic! Did you hear about that

:07:54. > :08:06.movie, Constipation? It never came out! What is brown and sits in the

:08:07. > :08:11.forest? Winnie's poo! The kids have threw up all over the place this

:08:12. > :08:20.morning, I told them, I put ginger in the curry. They love that cat!

:08:21. > :08:27.I didn't believe them when they said my dad was stealing from his job as

:08:28. > :08:34.a roadworker. When I got home all the signs were there. Two monkeys in

:08:35. > :08:46.a bar. One says, "Put some more cold in!" What team does a pirate

:08:47. > :08:51.support? Ah-senal! Got it? Why would Cinderella not be good at football?

:08:52. > :08:55.Because she runs away from the ball! One day I met a fairy, she said she

:08:56. > :09:00.would grant me one wish. I said I want to live forever. She said, I'm

:09:01. > :09:06.sorry, I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that. Fine, I said, I

:09:07. > :09:14.want to die when Scunthorpe United win the Premiership. The fairy said,

:09:15. > :09:21."You crafty sod!" I want to introduce some yoga here, I said to

:09:22. > :09:26.the boys, "How flexible are you?" They said they can't do Tuesdays!

:09:27. > :09:33.Why did the lobster get thrown out of the pub? It is giving all that!

:09:34. > :09:36.Wayne Rooney has asked for a transfer. David Moyes has asked him

:09:37. > :09:44.to put it in writing. That's the end of that one then! What do you call a

:09:45. > :09:52.elephant that doesn't matter. An irrelevant! I have written a song

:09:53. > :10:05.about a tortila. It's a bit of a wrap! APPLAUSE I'm having trouble

:10:06. > :10:07.spelling Armageddon! It's not the end of the world!

:10:08. > :10:16.Hilarious. Thanks to all the managers for doing that. You were

:10:17. > :10:21.brilliant sports. Not brilliant comics! Coming up soon is another

:10:22. > :10:25.chance to see Only Fools and Horses. Before that, it is time to say

:10:26. > :10:33.another thank you and this time, Ricky Hatton is on hand to help us

:10:34. > :10:36.out with a spot of DIY. I'm putting the finishing touches to a special

:10:37. > :10:40.thing I have put together for all the people from SSE and all their

:10:41. > :10:44.fantastic customers. They have all been doing an amazing job raising a

:10:45. > :10:50.shed-load of money for Sport Relief, so have a quick look at this while I

:10:51. > :10:54.get finished up. The staff have been pulling out all the stops by

:10:55. > :10:58.dressing up, getting active and raising bucket-loads of cash for

:10:59. > :11:04.Sport Relief. They have been doing sponsored boxer size, three-legged

:11:05. > :11:08.races and a special relay carrying a Sport Relief cup the length of the

:11:09. > :11:13.UK. Back already? Come on, I'm not done yet. Go on, off you go! The

:11:14. > :11:18.general public have also been doing their bit. They have signed up to a

:11:19. > :11:22.number of different schemes, with a ?2 donation being made to Sport

:11:23. > :11:25.Relief. So well done to the customers, we can't thank you

:11:26. > :11:29.enough. That's me all done. There is only one thing left for me to say to

:11:30. > :11:36.all the staff and the wonderful customers, thank you so much.

:11:37. > :11:44.Great stuff. Thank you so much. Let's find out what the SSE staff

:11:45. > :11:53.and customers have raised. Let's have a look at that total.

:11:54. > :12:01.That is phenomenal. You have been so generous tonight. Thank you so, so

:12:02. > :12:07.very much. Here's one last chance to see David Tennant. If you haven't

:12:08. > :12:11.text, please do so now. This is the only children's hospital

:12:12. > :12:18.in the whole of Sierra Leone. I've come here to meet Margaret, who

:12:19. > :12:23.works for a project, funded by Sport Relief. So this is the emergency

:12:24. > :12:33.room? This is the emergency room. This is where we have patients

:12:34. > :12:40.coming in, who are very sick. He was admitted on Monday with severe

:12:41. > :12:45.malaria and anaemia. Ease on oxygen, is he? He is, but we are very short.

:12:46. > :12:59.The children have to share? Yes, we do. Hello? Hi. Have they had a

:13:00. > :13:11.diagnosis for her yet? OK, it's pneumonia. Right. These two. Who

:13:12. > :13:17.have we got here? What's wrong? Do you see pneumonia more than anything

:13:18. > :13:22.else at the moment? Yeah. Diseases like pneumonia could be prevented

:13:23. > :13:29.with a simple vaccine that can cost as little as ?5 much a little bite

:13:30. > :13:34.called Alusine -- little boy called Alusine is brought in by his

:13:35. > :13:43.grandmother. The nursing staff are immediately concerned.

:13:44. > :13:49.The pneumonia is causing his lungs to fill with fluid. He's struggling

:13:50. > :13:53.to breathe. He needs oxygen urgently.

:13:54. > :14:01.As the hospital staff try to stabilise him, Alusine's grandma can

:14:02. > :14:06.only look on. Since his mum died in child birth, she's spent every day

:14:07. > :14:11.by his side. Suddenly, there's a problem with the oxygen machine. The

:14:12. > :14:16.main problem is the oxygen are not enough. There are four, five

:14:17. > :14:22.connections, this child is not getting anything. The child need

:14:23. > :14:26.oxygen. We have to move the child to ICU. But intensive care is full. So

:14:27. > :14:38.there's no choice but to stay in this ward and continue sharing

:14:39. > :14:43.oxygen. It's a desperate time for Alusine's grandma. Just a week ago

:14:44. > :14:48.she was in this same ward with his twin brother. He sadly passed away.

:14:49. > :14:52.It's hard. Because you're a parent, you're a grandparent yourself.

:14:53. > :15:00.Something like this, you know, it just, it's too upsetting. Too

:15:01. > :15:04.upsetting. His fighting spirit has touched the hearts of the nurses

:15:05. > :15:08.here, but now they're becoming increasingly concerned. Whenever I

:15:09. > :15:15.see them suffering from a disease that can be prevented, it pains me,

:15:16. > :15:20.it hurts me. Because I know if earlier they come, it would have

:15:21. > :15:24.been prevented. They would not come to this stage. I am praying that he

:15:25. > :15:30.will recover, but the condition is not good.

:15:31. > :15:35.I just pray that nothing happens to him. There's this connection between

:15:36. > :15:49.me and him. As soon as I go near him, he knows that I'm there. I just

:15:50. > :15:55.hope that he gets better. I'm really sorry to tell you this but Alusine

:15:56. > :16:00.didn't make it. That's tragic. But what makes it worse is that it's not

:16:01. > :16:03.a one-off. Between the time that I'm standing here and the time that you

:16:04. > :16:06.end up watching this, it's likely that hundreds of children will have

:16:07. > :16:13.lost their lives from condition that's can be totally prevented.

:16:14. > :16:20.This can't be a normal thing. Children dying can't be normal.

:16:21. > :16:24.Their lives are not disposable. So please, if you've ever even

:16:25. > :16:29.considered giving on a night like this, please, do it now. Anything

:16:30. > :16:35.you give has the power to do something incredible. I promise you,

:16:36. > :16:48.we'll keep trying to stop this. The number is: 03457 910 910. Thank you.

:16:49. > :16:54.To give either ?5 or ?10 text the word five or ten to 70510. Texts

:16:55. > :16:59.cost your donation plus the standard message charge. For full terms visit

:17:00. > :17:03.bbc.co.uk/Sport Relief. Now, it's time for what everyone

:17:04. > :17:07.agrees, I think, is the biggest thing on Sport Relief. We've

:17:08. > :17:10.certainly left the best till last. Is it time for Only Fools and

:17:11. > :17:12.Horses. No, no, not quite yet. It's time for the technical and mobile

:17:13. > :17:36.partner thank you. Bear with. Impressive.

:17:37. > :17:40.Thank you. We are nearing the end of Sport Relief at the Copper Box

:17:41. > :17:48.arena. This place will be a sports centre tomorrow morning. Has a

:17:49. > :17:55.Saddam what class -- Davina has a zumba class at 8am. And I have

:17:56. > :17:59.jazzercise. We know how you love that. We have been raising money for

:18:00. > :18:03.around six hours and there's masses of fundraising money coming in. But

:18:04. > :18:15.we can have a look at what we have got so far. Sport Relief's grand

:18:16. > :18:17.total for tonight is... A massive amount.

:18:18. > :18:26.APPLAUSE What an incredible total! That is

:18:27. > :18:32.mind blowing. That is incredible. You are so extraordinarily generous.

:18:33. > :18:36.Thank you so much. What an amount! That is nearly it for tonight. Thank

:18:37. > :18:42.you all so much for that incredible amount of money. And for watching.

:18:43. > :18:47.Yet, thank you for donating. Your money will do so many incredible

:18:48. > :18:54.things for amazing people. Feel really good for yourselves. Thank

:18:55. > :18:58.you so much. Good luck if you're taking part in the Sport Relief

:18:59. > :19:02.Games on Sunday. Tune in to the Sport Relief Games show at 1. 15pm

:19:03. > :19:09.Sunday afternoon. As a special treat for all of you who have stayed up,

:19:10. > :19:11.it's time to go over to Peckham for Beckham in Only Fools and Horses.

:19:12. > :19:22.Bye. Bye-bye. Snment # Stick a pony in me pocket

:19:23. > :19:26.# I'll fetch the suitcase from the van

:19:27. > :19:30.# Cos if you want the best... # All right, come on, then!

:19:31. > :19:34.Gather round, everybody! Gather round here! Come along, I am not

:19:35. > :19:36.contagious. Listen, I've got a very special offer for you today. This is

:19:37. > :19:43.a once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-repeated offer in

:19:44. > :19:48.top-of-the-range men's fashion. I have here authentic David Beckham

:19:49. > :19:53.underpants. Now, listen, before you rush in and tear me limb from limb,

:19:54. > :19:56.and just to give you a better idea of what we're talking about, I have

:19:57. > :20:10.got my younger brother Rodney to model a pair for you. Rodney! Look

:20:11. > :20:15.at that. Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it, eh? These are 100%

:20:16. > :20:19.man-made cotton and they're fully elasticated. And as you can see,

:20:20. > :20:24.they've got a very handy button-up fly in case you're taken short. You

:20:25. > :20:28.know what I mean, don't you? Right. But just to show you what makes

:20:29. > :20:39.these very special, Rodney, turn around, if you please. Come on,

:20:40. > :20:46.don't be shy! Come on! Right! Here is the speciality. Da-da! Yes, each

:20:47. > :20:52.one of these has been personally signed by none other than

:20:53. > :20:56.Goldenballs himself. No, this is true, straight up. Because it just

:20:57. > :21:04.so happens that Becks is a personal friend of mine. Isn't he, Rodney?

:21:05. > :21:09.I'm going to kill you. He's a card, isn't he, eh? No, you see, he owed

:21:10. > :21:14.me a favour because it was me what arranged the bouncy castle for his

:21:15. > :21:19.son Brookside's 12th birthday party. You see... No, this is absolutely

:21:20. > :21:22.true, straight up! Now come on, this is a special offer, you won't see

:21:23. > :21:27.this again. They normally retail at ?10 but I'm knocking them out for

:21:28. > :21:36.you, ?4.50. Come on, ?4.50. Tell you what - two for ?9. Two for ?9.

:21:37. > :21:40.Any...? Come on. Let's clear up and get out of here, get down the caff,

:21:41. > :21:42.have a bacon sarnie, eh? You better take those off, you look like a

:21:43. > :21:45.right dipstick. MUSIC: "Waterloo Sunset" by the

:21:46. > :22:07.Kinks. That is the last time, Del. And I

:22:08. > :22:11.mean it this time. What are you moaning about now? That is the last

:22:12. > :22:14.time I let you talk me into degrading myself all for the sake of

:22:15. > :22:18.one of your little schemes. Look, Rodney, these are hard times. We've

:22:19. > :22:23.all got to make little sacrifices here and there. All right, then. If

:22:24. > :22:27.we've all got to make sacrifices, next time you can wear them. Don't

:22:28. > :22:31.be stupid! I've got a reputation to uphold. And did you at any moment

:22:32. > :22:36.think about MY reputation? Yes, I did. And that's why you're wearing

:22:37. > :22:39.them. You know, I honestly thought you'd changed. But no, you're just

:22:40. > :22:41.the same old Del, ploughing through life without the slightest

:22:42. > :22:49.consideration for anyone else's feelings. That hurts, Rodney. That

:22:50. > :22:54.really hurts. You just tell me one time, just one, when I have ignored

:22:55. > :22:58.you or hurt your feelings. And don't go on about that painting

:22:59. > :23:03.competition. Or the Peckham Pouncer. Or the time I turned the knob up on

:23:04. > :23:08.the sunbed and made your face go red. All right, then. What about

:23:09. > :23:13.when I was 11, and you and your mates was bored so you asked me to

:23:14. > :23:17.play hide and seek and I hid in that big chest thing you'd bought. Oh,

:23:18. > :23:21.yeah! That was a good place to hide. Nobody thought of looking in there,

:23:22. > :23:25.did they? No. And you all sodded off down the pub in the end, didn't you?

:23:26. > :23:29.Do you remember that? Yeah, well, we got fed up looking for you, didn't

:23:30. > :23:32.we? Four and a half hours, I was in that thing. Well...you took the game

:23:33. > :23:35.too seriously. We'd all finished playing by then. No-one thought to

:23:36. > :23:40.tell me, though, did they? No, because we didn't know where you was

:23:41. > :23:44.hiding! There was a dodgy lock on that thing. Well, how was I supposed

:23:45. > :23:49.to know that?! You fitted it! Oh, did I? I thought I was going to

:23:50. > :23:52.suffocate. Then why didn't you bang on the lid? Or shout, or something?

:23:53. > :24:00.Because then you would have known where I was hiding! All right,

:24:01. > :24:04.Rodney, look. I'm sorry that you got locked in that chest. But we've got

:24:05. > :24:08.more important matters to focus on, eh? Like the fact that we are

:24:09. > :24:20.currently lumbered with 200 pairs of men's pants that some git has

:24:21. > :24:25.scribbled over. What you looking at me for? You asked me to sign them.

:24:26. > :24:29.And if I asked you to go out into the high street wearing a sarong,

:24:30. > :24:33.would you? Well... It's all right, David, he's not blaming you. Are

:24:34. > :24:37.you, Del. Yes. All right, he is blaming you. I just don't know what

:24:38. > :24:40.the world is coming to. Really, I don't. Here I am, an

:24:41. > :24:44.ex-multi-millionaire... "Ex" being the operative word there. And I've

:24:45. > :24:47.got you, with two GCEs, and a footballing legend who makes Boycie

:24:48. > :24:53.look like a pauper, and we can't flog a pair of pants between us!

:24:54. > :25:01.Boxer-briefs. What? They're boxer-briefs. What are? The pants!

:25:02. > :25:05.Well, that's what I said. What is he on about? I'm just glad that we're

:25:06. > :25:11.not in that Dragons' Den, because God knows what Alec Sugar would have

:25:12. > :25:15.made of all this. It was your idea to have Rodney model them. Oh, so

:25:16. > :25:18.it's my fault now, is it? Look, I didn't want to wear the stupid

:25:19. > :25:25.bloody things in the first place. Oh, shut up, you tart. You know,

:25:26. > :25:28.he's got a point there, Rodney. You could have shown a bit more

:25:29. > :25:32.enthusiasm. It's always been your problem, that has. In case you two

:25:33. > :25:37.hadn't noticed, I am not an underwear model. I am a middle-aged

:25:38. > :25:46.fly-pitcher who drives a three-wheel van, and above all else, I do not

:25:47. > :25:50.look like that. It's just any old excuse with you, though, isn't it,

:25:51. > :25:56.eh? Anyway, I only suggested you do it because he wouldn't. But Del, I

:25:57. > :26:03.can't go walking around in public in just my underwear. The last time I

:26:04. > :26:08.did that, Fergie almost killed me. Anyway, why are you wearing them

:26:09. > :26:12.glasses? These? Yeah. To be honest, I thought that, you know, if I was

:26:13. > :26:16.to wear these, no-one would recognise me, and I could be a

:26:17. > :26:24.little bit, you know...incognitive. Yeah. Good thinking. Rodders, have

:26:25. > :26:29.you really got two GCEs? Yeah. I've got one in maths and one in art. I

:26:30. > :26:33.love art. Yeah, it's good, innit? Who's your favourite artist? That's

:26:34. > :26:37.a tough one. Er, I'd probably have to say Matisse, because I don't

:26:38. > :26:41.think anyone could get near the way he could convey intensity through

:26:42. > :26:46.the use of pure colour, you know? I mean, Matisse did for colour what

:26:47. > :26:59.Picasso did for form. How about you? I love Tony Hart. That Morph cracks

:27:00. > :27:05.me up. Are you two all done? Oh, yeah. OK, can we get back to our

:27:06. > :27:09.problem? Now, I think, at the end of the day, we're going to have to

:27:10. > :27:17.accept that we are in a classic case of bouchee a la Rene, as they say in

:27:18. > :27:21.the Alsack. Why don't you get Damien to model them? He's young. Rodney,

:27:22. > :27:25.do you really expect me to ask my son to go and stand in the market

:27:26. > :27:29.out there looking like a slab of meat while people gawp at him? I

:27:30. > :27:33.mean, that kind of humiliation could scar him for the rest of his life.

:27:34. > :27:41.You're already scarred, so one more wouldn't hurt, you see. What about

:27:42. > :27:44.Trigger? Hmm? Oh, leave it out. Asking Trigger for help's like

:27:45. > :27:50.asking Ozzy Osbourne to look after your bats. I'm sorry, Rodney, but

:27:51. > :27:54.you are stuck with the pants. Cosmic. You see, Rodney, most people

:27:55. > :28:00.think modelling is all about standing there looking great. But it

:28:01. > :28:05.isn't! Actually, it is, but there's more to it than that. Ah, now,

:28:06. > :28:11.listen, Rodney. This is the horse's mouth speaking. Just remember - a

:28:12. > :28:22.good model doesn't just walk... He glides. A good model doesn't just

:28:23. > :28:31.turn... They oscillate. Glides. Yeah. Oscillates. Exactly. Right,

:28:32. > :28:36.come on, gather round, everybody! Get closer, come on, darling. Look

:28:37. > :28:41.at this. Look at the attention to detail here. Look at the

:28:42. > :28:49.craftsmanship. You don't get that care and love in underpants these

:28:50. > :28:58.days, do you? Derek... Hmm? I am going to kill you. Are you David

:28:59. > :29:03.Beckham? I am! But don't tell anyone. I don't want to draw any

:29:04. > :29:06.attention to myself, all right? OK. Good boy.

:29:07. > :29:15.CRASHING BOTH:

:29:16. > :29:26.What a plonker! # We got some half-price cracked ice

:29:27. > :29:31.# And miles and miles of carpet tiles...

:29:32. > :29:35.All right, come on, let's clear out of here.

:29:36. > :29:46.# ..Ball games, gold chains # Whatsernames and then I'll push

:29:47. > :29:49.# Trevor Francis tracksuits # From a mush in Shepherd's Bush