Sport Relief Part 1

:00:27. > :00:43.# When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary

:00:44. > :00:51.# When troubles come and my heart burdened be

:00:52. > :00:59.# Then I am still and wait here in the silence

:01:00. > :01:07.# Until you come and sit awhile with me

:01:08. > :01:14.# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

:01:15. > :01:22.# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:01:23. > :01:30.# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

:01:31. > :02:01.# You raise me up to more than I can be

:02:02. > :02:17.# You raise me up to more than I can be

:02:18. > :02:23.# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

:02:24. > :02:31.# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:02:32. > :02:38.# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

:02:39. > :02:50.# You raise me up to more than I can be

:02:51. > :02:53.# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

:02:54. > :03:01.# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

:03:02. > :03:08.# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

:03:09. > :03:41.# You raise me up to more than I can be

:03:42. > :04:00.Coming live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, this is Sport Relief

:04:01. > :04:14.2016. Please welcome your hosts, David Walliams and Gary Lineker.

:04:15. > :04:29.An EPIC start to the night and a big thank you to our Sport Relief choirs

:04:30. > :04:48.That has definitely set the tone for the huge night

:04:49. > :04:51.This year we have totally supersized Sport Relief.

:04:52. > :04:55.That's right, this show just gets better with age.

:04:56. > :05:18.Sport Relief is BACK, and we are coming to you live

:05:19. > :05:23.And not only are we here in the Copper Box Arena,

:05:24. > :05:26.but we have also taken over Lee Valley VeloPark

:05:27. > :05:30.AND the London Aquatics Centre, for the return of...

:05:31. > :05:41.Tonight, Olympic hero Sir Steve Redgrave

:05:42. > :05:42.is going head-to-head with cricketing legend

:05:43. > :05:45.Andrew Freddie Flintoff, captaining two teams,

:05:46. > :05:49.taking on five colossal sporting challenges.

:05:50. > :05:52.And we'll be going to Dan Walker at the VeloPark

:05:53. > :05:57.and Ore Oduba at the Aquatics centre, to meet the teams soon.

:05:58. > :06:21...we have the biggest and best night of entertainment EVER

:06:22. > :06:38.Coming up tonight on Sport Relief, after 40 years, Frank Spencer comes

:06:39. > :06:47.back to your screens in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. You have ruined my car,

:06:48. > :06:55.you idiot. Idriss LBF stars in May special edition of Luther. -- Idris

:06:56. > :07:00.Elba. It's dead. Peter Crouch takes a trip to Little Britain. I've got

:07:01. > :07:07.you a place with the lionesses. I haven't got a lady. I've got someone

:07:08. > :07:11.that can help you with that. Jack Whitehall pays a visit to the

:07:12. > :07:16.world's most expensive footballer. I want England to win the you rose and

:07:17. > :07:20.to do that I'm going to enlist the help of the best player in Europe.

:07:21. > :07:32.Can you introduce me to Cristiano Ronaldo? And two... Just splashing

:07:33. > :07:34.about in the water, isn't it? All of this and much more coming up tonight

:07:35. > :07:37.on Sport Relief 2016. That is one full evening

:07:38. > :07:39.of entertainment! Just look at how many famous

:07:40. > :07:42.faces are contributing I've got this, Gary,

:07:43. > :07:52.I know who they all are. From Strictly Come

:07:53. > :07:56.Dancing, Tess Daly! AND of course TV

:07:57. > :08:12.detective Hercule Poirot. What he really means is,

:08:13. > :08:15.amongst our galaxy of stars, John Bishop, Davina McCall and Idris

:08:16. > :08:25.Elba. We really should have put

:08:26. > :08:31.some pictures up. But best of all, we have the return

:08:32. > :08:34.of one of Britain's After nearly 40 years away,

:08:35. > :08:37.he's back tonight - It's the return of Michael Crawford

:08:38. > :08:42.as Frank Spencer, in a very special Now of course, the reason

:08:43. > :08:53.we're all here tonight is to change people's

:08:54. > :08:56.lives for the better - both here in the UK and in

:08:57. > :08:59.the world's poorest countries. Since we started Sport Relief 14

:09:00. > :09:02.years ago, you've helped us Here are some of the amazing

:09:03. > :09:13.things you've made happen. Sport has the power

:09:14. > :09:19.to change the world. It has the power to unite people

:09:20. > :09:28.in a way that little else does. Sport can create hope where once

:09:29. > :09:40.there was only despair. For the last 14 years,

:09:41. > :09:43.Sport Relief and you, the British public, have been

:09:44. > :09:45.working together to change lives Half of your donations fund

:09:46. > :09:53.projects here in the UK. The other half go to the poorest

:09:54. > :09:56.countries in the world. In Kenya, we are supporting

:09:57. > :09:58.a project that uses football to teach leadership

:09:59. > :10:04.skills and teamwork. And it inspires children

:10:05. > :10:08.to get an education. For young people with disabilities

:10:09. > :10:16.in the UK, sport can unlock a whole It makes me feel confident

:10:17. > :10:31.and I make new friends. Your money supports street

:10:32. > :10:33.children across the world, giving them a safe place to sleep,

:10:34. > :10:36.and, through sport, the chance In Bangladesh, drowning in floods

:10:37. > :10:44.is a major cause of death in children, so Sport Relief

:10:45. > :10:47.taught children to swim Here at home, a lot of older people

:10:48. > :10:56.can face loneliness and depression. Sport Relief supported this project,

:10:57. > :11:00.where sport makes them feel part Across the world, your donations

:11:01. > :11:09.are inspiring people to get active I want to be the best

:11:10. > :11:14.boxer in the world. That's not a bad reason

:11:15. > :11:18.to support something, is it? This is your chance to be part

:11:19. > :11:20.of something amazing. So please, help us to do even

:11:21. > :11:51.more and be as generous The money you give tonight will find

:11:52. > :11:55.all kinds of great work at home and across the world. We wanted to start

:11:56. > :12:00.with that film because we completely believe in the power and passion of

:12:01. > :12:06.sport to change lives. It is Sport Relief, after role.

:12:07. > :12:09.And it would be great if you could be part of tonight's

:12:10. > :12:13.There are three main ways you can do this and it couldn't be easier.

:12:14. > :12:15.You can head over to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief

:12:16. > :12:20.Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

:12:21. > :12:22.Standard geographic charges from landlines and mobiles

:12:23. > :12:30.Alternatively, you can donate ten pounds by texting YES to 70010.

:12:31. > :12:33.Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge

:12:34. > :12:37.and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

:12:38. > :12:41.You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

:12:42. > :12:43.For full terms and conditions and more information go

:12:44. > :12:50.AND you can also take your money into most banks and building

:12:51. > :13:15.when you call tonight and our operator asks if we can

:13:16. > :13:17.claim Gift Aid on your donation, if you are a UK taxpayer,

:13:18. > :13:22.It means the taxman gives us an extra 25p for every

:13:23. > :13:29.It doesn't cost you a penny extra, so please make sure you say yes.

:13:30. > :13:32.Now let's go over to the VeloPark and meet the two

:13:33. > :13:34.teams who are ready to go head to head in...

:13:35. > :14:03.Good evening and welcome to the Lee Valley VeloPark! Tonight, we have

:14:04. > :14:11.two teams and one of them is going to be crowned Clash of the Titans

:14:12. > :14:22.champions 2016. Are we ready to meet the teams? I think they are. That is

:14:23. > :14:25.an. First up, Team Flintoff. I am Freddie Flintoff and I played a bit

:14:26. > :14:30.of cricket in my time. I have been in the Titans before. We lost, but I

:14:31. > :14:36.have been promoted to captain. Redemption for me would be showing I

:14:37. > :14:40.can captain the team successfully. Sir Steve Redgrave, how can he wrote

:14:41. > :14:46.for so many years? It is just splashing in the water isn't it?

:14:47. > :14:52.This time, I've got to win. I have assembled the perfect team. Harry

:14:53. > :14:58.Judd, strictly in it to win it. Maddy Hill, Queen of Albert Square,

:14:59. > :15:03.who will reign supreme in the rhythmic gymnastics. Mark Wright,

:15:04. > :15:07.ready to show Team Redgrave the only way is winning. Sophie Raworth, she

:15:08. > :15:12.is set to make headlines on the Velodrome track. Russell Kane, is

:15:13. > :15:17.sporting prowess is no laughing matter. And Darren Gough. He will

:15:18. > :15:25.bowl the competition out of the park. I really don't like losing.

:15:26. > :15:30.Sir Steve, savour those Olympic medals because you are not going to

:15:31. > :15:40.win anything tonight. Come on, let's meet Team Flintoff first, starting

:15:41. > :15:57.with Darren Gough! Sophie Raworth! Russell Kane! Harry Judd! Maddy

:15:58. > :15:58.Hill! Mark Wright! And they are led by their captain, Mr Freddie

:15:59. > :16:10.Flintoff! Welcome, Team Flintoff. Are we ready

:16:11. > :16:22.to meet their opponents, ladies and gentlemen? I think that is yes as

:16:23. > :16:31.well. There is Team Redgrave. My name is Steve Redgrave and are used

:16:32. > :16:35.to do a bit of rowing. I am a five times Olympic gold medallist, not

:16:36. > :16:39.bad. Once a sportsman, always a sportsman. Once you have a

:16:40. > :16:44.competitive edge, you never lose it. The only reason I'm involved is to

:16:45. > :16:50.win. As captain, I'm expecting big things. I will push my team to their

:16:51. > :16:53.limits. For Team Redgrave, Will Young, the performer who has

:16:54. > :16:59.promised to deliver in the pool. Hugh Dennis, he won't be outnumbered

:17:00. > :17:03.in the Velodrome. Kate Garraway, prepare to be wowed in rhythmic

:17:04. > :17:08.gymnastics. Clara Amfo oh, the DJ who is ready to hit the track. Paddy

:17:09. > :17:13.McGuinness will take out the competition in the wrestling. Ahmed

:17:14. > :17:20.Jelly, a funny guy with serious talent. Dan Snow, ready to make

:17:21. > :17:30.Titans history. At watch out for some drama tonight with Tankika

:17:31. > :17:32.Empson. I know Freddie is competitive but I want to win it

:17:33. > :18:00.more. Flintoff, eat my dust! Please give it up for Team Redgrave,

:18:01. > :18:15.Will Young, Kate Garraway, Hugh Dennis, Tamika, Paddy McGuinness,

:18:16. > :18:26.Dan Snow, Claire and folk, Omid, and team captain, Sir Steve Redgrave.

:18:27. > :18:32.Welcome to Team Redgrave and Team Flintoff. Let's speak to the

:18:33. > :18:36.captains, Freddie, you did this two years ago and lost. How do you make

:18:37. > :18:42.sure this team get it right this year? We have a good team, we've got

:18:43. > :18:45.rid of John Bishop, he was terrible. We have mixed abilities, good at

:18:46. > :18:51.different siblings, and I think we will be all right. Batting victory

:18:52. > :18:57.tonight? I wouldn't say that, but we are quietly confident. Team Flintoff

:18:58. > :19:02.talking himself is up. Steve Redgrave, iconic sports stars, every

:19:03. > :19:07.one of them. A team of champions? We do have a team of champions. When

:19:08. > :19:11.Seb Coe handed on the baton two years ago, they have been in

:19:12. > :19:17.training, fighting to go, desperate to be out there. Both teams have

:19:18. > :19:24.been joined by special guests tonight. Each with the royal seal of

:19:25. > :19:28.approval. Hi everyone, I'm thrilled to introduce two athletes who

:19:29. > :19:33.represented Team GB in the first-ever Invictus Games in London

:19:34. > :19:38.2014. On Team Flintoff, Mike Goody, champion in the pool. On Team

:19:39. > :19:46.Redgrave, Paul Vice, gold medal winner in the cycling. May the best

:19:47. > :19:49.man win. Give a massive welcome, representing Team Flintoff, Mike

:19:50. > :20:04.Goody, and the Team Redgrave, Paul Vice.

:20:05. > :20:12.Great to see you. Get in your positions. Everybody has a big night

:20:13. > :20:16.ahead. My goodness. The teams are complete, this is how it will go,

:20:17. > :20:21.four events with points up for grabs. All the points are crucial

:20:22. > :20:25.for the fifth and final event, the team triathlon, where points will be

:20:26. > :20:28.converted into seconds. The team with the most points at the end will

:20:29. > :20:32.have a head start going into the final event of the evening. The

:20:33. > :20:42.winner of that will be crowned Clash of the Titus 's champions ready 16.

:20:43. > :20:46.As everybody got that? Good. The first event is the cycling in

:20:47. > :20:50.elimination race will stop don't go anywhere, we will test the pedal

:20:51. > :20:55.power of our two captains. Don't miss it.

:20:56. > :20:59.Make sure you don't miss the first exciting event -

:21:00. > :21:03.it's the Cycling Elimination Race - and it's coming very soon.

:21:04. > :21:06.Tonight, we're joining together to change lives both here in the UK

:21:07. > :21:10.and in some of the world's poorest countries.

:21:11. > :21:13.In our first film, Marvin and Rochelle Humes go to Kenya

:21:14. > :21:17.She's a daughter, she's a big sister -

:21:18. > :21:32.Like most children her age, every evening, she does her homework.

:21:33. > :21:37.But life for Fenny is very different from that of other

:21:38. > :21:43.Since her dad died two years ago and her mum

:21:44. > :21:46.became sick, every morning Fenny does all of the housework and gets

:21:47. > :21:51.Despite everything, this brave young girl is determined to give herself

:21:52. > :22:18.This is a fantastic hoodie that you are wearing.

:22:19. > :22:36.He is pleased that someone is still wearing it!

:22:37. > :22:43.Fenny's mum and little sister are HIV-positive.

:22:44. > :22:45.The medication they have to take is aggressive,

:22:46. > :22:58.Providing food for the whole family is up to Fenny.

:22:59. > :23:04.Fenny does what she can to care for them.

:23:05. > :23:07.How tough is it being the one that has to look after your

:23:08. > :23:18.It is difficult, sometimes I can't go to school.

:23:19. > :23:24.How much money would you make, Fenny?

:23:25. > :23:50.Fenny, how is your mum's health at the moment?

:23:51. > :23:58.Without your help, nothing is going to change.

:23:59. > :24:01.Fenny's family will continue to rely on her, and life

:24:02. > :24:06.But there is a project here which can help

:24:07. > :24:11.So please do something for someone who

:24:12. > :24:14.you will never meet but who desperately needs your help.

:24:15. > :24:30.If Fenny's family had enough food to let them

:24:31. > :24:33.take their medication, then Fenny wouldn't have to go

:24:34. > :24:35.to work and could get to school every day.

:24:36. > :24:38.And that's how she can change their future.

:24:39. > :24:41.Just ?30 buys nutritional food for a month for a person

:24:42. > :24:49.You can donate online by visiting bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

:24:50. > :24:52.Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

:24:53. > :25:00.Now, if you've just tuned in - no, this is not my father,

:25:01. > :25:06.or my grand father, this is Gary Lineker.

:25:07. > :25:16.Who tells me that, in the olden days, he used to be a footballer.

:25:17. > :25:25.And this is David Walliams, who claims he used to be a comedian.

:25:26. > :25:29.As ever, schools across the country have been fundraising

:25:30. > :25:33.for Sport Relief, and this year more of you than EVER have got involved.

:25:34. > :25:35.Your efforts are truly out of this world.

:25:36. > :25:38.And one shining example is St Andrew's C of E Primary in

:25:39. > :25:43.So to say thank you, Radio 1's Gemma Cairney and England

:25:44. > :25:46.striker Harry Kane dropped in to surprise some

:25:47. > :26:00.If there's one thing you can rely on in life, it's that every single year

:26:01. > :26:03.during Sport Relief, some of the most hard-working and dedicated

:26:04. > :26:07.fundraisers are the thousands of schoolchildren across the country.

:26:08. > :26:10.We are here today at Saint Andrews school with a very special guest,

:26:11. > :26:18.England and Tottenham striker, Harry Kane. Are you ready to do this?

:26:19. > :26:26.Let's do it. Warm welcome to Harry Kane. CHEERING

:26:27. > :26:28.Hello everyone, I want to say a big well done and for all the money you

:26:29. > :26:46.have raised the Sport Relief. What team do you prefer, Totten or

:26:47. > :26:51.Arsenal? Tough question, both of them are just as good. In schools

:26:52. > :26:54.all across the UK all the hard-working young people have

:26:55. > :26:58.raised an incredible amount for Sport Relief, going above and

:26:59. > :27:04.beyond, and we give you a huge thank you. To all the amazing schools,

:27:05. > :27:08.pupils, teachers, grandparents, parents, everyone who has spent time

:27:09. > :27:15.raising money for Sport Relief. Just one thing left to say. Thank you!

:27:16. > :27:20.Thank you to Gemma and Harry and a big thank you to the thousands

:27:21. > :27:23.of kids and teachers across the UK for your tremendous fund raising

:27:24. > :27:29.Now we've got so much more still to come tonight,

:27:30. > :27:32.including the return of the legend that is Frank Spencer

:27:33. > :27:45.On nights like this, we always say, you can change lives. Here's the

:27:46. > :27:49.truth. I'm about to experience

:27:50. > :27:51.something truly magical. This little boy here has

:27:52. > :27:53.literally just been born. Thanks to your support,

:27:54. > :27:57.he's about to have some Thanks to the work from an amazing

:27:58. > :28:08.project here and these drops he's being given, he now has the chance

:28:09. > :28:13.of a life totally HIV free. This is truly life-changing work

:28:14. > :28:16.and your donations are a huge So, thank you from the

:28:17. > :28:23.bottom of our hearts. Your donations make sure those

:28:24. > :28:28.new born babies get those drops Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:28:29. > :28:37.standard network message charge. Now, it's time for the first Clash

:28:38. > :28:46.of the Titans event of the evening, And Gary, just as a quick heads

:28:47. > :28:50.up, they're not racing on Penny Farthings like

:28:51. > :28:59.when you were a boy. I know, thank you David,

:29:00. > :29:01.they're on racing bikes. In fact, there's a good cycling

:29:02. > :29:04.shop near you. Is there?

:29:05. > :29:05.Yeah. It's right next

:29:06. > :29:14.to the doughnut shop. You're kind of showing off now Gary

:29:15. > :29:18.and it's not very attractive. And to start with, it's

:29:19. > :29:34.the Cycling Elimination race. Over to Dan Walker and our teams

:29:35. > :29:47.at the VeloPark. Hello and welcome back to the

:29:48. > :29:54.VeloPark. This lot are ready for the first event in the clash of the

:29:55. > :29:58.titans 2016. Just to remind you, this is the elimination race. The

:29:59. > :30:03.person at the back is just as important as the person at the

:30:04. > :30:07.front. Three members from each team will be taking part, including the

:30:08. > :30:16.two team captains. Let's find out who has been selected and what they

:30:17. > :30:22.are in for. The cycling elimination, hello, old friend. 2014, this race

:30:23. > :30:28.was tactical and aggressive. Maybe a bit too aggressive. How on earth has

:30:29. > :30:36.he stayed on his bike? He hasn't now. The sprint laps are the key,

:30:37. > :30:41.when you hear the bell it's time to go. Whoever finishes last, gets

:30:42. > :30:46.eliminated. When there are three riders left, it's a race to the

:30:47. > :30:51.finishing line. Freddie won this race last time, and that must give

:30:52. > :30:54.Team Flintoff the edge. I'm pretty competitive so will be as physical

:30:55. > :31:03.and competitive as Freddie wants me to be. Team Flintoff, we've got

:31:04. > :31:10.this. Have you now? You are going to have to get past my team first. You

:31:11. > :31:20.just have to go as fast as you possibly can. We will ride stronger,

:31:21. > :31:29.harder, and faster. To win, ready, steady... Catch Freddie.

:31:30. > :31:37.Let's get a word with the captains. Freddie Flintoff is here, everybody.

:31:38. > :31:42.You won this event two years ago. What is the secret? I don't think

:31:43. > :31:47.there is a secret except for peddling faster. I think the

:31:48. > :31:54.standard is higher this year. These guys look all right. You are up

:31:55. > :31:58.against a man with five Olympic golds in five consecutive Olympic

:31:59. > :32:03.Games, Sir Steve Redgrave. We know you have got the lungs but have you

:32:04. > :32:06.got the legs? I have certainly got the heart but I'm not sure I put the

:32:07. > :32:12.endurance. I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be a great

:32:13. > :32:17.crack. I hope we don't do what Freddie did last year and fall off.

:32:18. > :32:22.I will let you get ready. Our special Stuttgart -- that the

:32:23. > :32:29.introduce you to our special starter for tonight, who has walked 145

:32:30. > :32:35.miles for Sport Relief, Jo Brand! Jo, talk us through your job. It is

:32:36. > :32:39.a big one. I've got to fire the starting pistol without injuring

:32:40. > :32:50.myself or anybody else. How much practice have you read? 14 seconds.

:32:51. > :32:55.So this could be messy. Step back! What could possibly go wrong? Jo

:32:56. > :33:02.will start the race. Here are our commentating team. We have a perfect

:33:03. > :33:06.commentating position, up in the rafters looking straight down on the

:33:07. > :33:10.finishing line. Rob and I were here for the World Championships a couple

:33:11. > :33:14.of years ago but that feels like it was merely an hors d'oeuvre. Let's

:33:15. > :33:19.take a look at the line-up for the elimination race. Six riders in the

:33:20. > :33:24.field. As you can see, both captains are in this one, looking to lay down

:33:25. > :33:28.an early marker. Before the race gets underway, we will have a warm

:33:29. > :33:33.up lap just to give the race a rolling start. They must stay

:33:34. > :33:39.bunched until they pass the start line. Every other lap, the bell

:33:40. > :33:43.goes, the riders will sprint and the last rider over the line is

:33:44. > :33:48.eliminated until three riders remain, with Hugh Dennis at the

:33:49. > :33:55.moment. When we get down to the last three, which may or may not involve

:33:56. > :33:59.Hugh, when the bell rings, the remaining riders will sprint to the

:34:00. > :34:04.finish. There is the man who won the finish last time, Freddie Flintoff.

:34:05. > :34:11.It was a commentary highlight for me. I saw him go down and he picked

:34:12. > :34:17.himself up and knocked him for six. He took the victory. Who is going to

:34:18. > :34:21.take it today? Jo Brand is ready with the starter's gun, and the

:34:22. > :34:27.first event in Clash of the Titans 2016 is underway. Three points

:34:28. > :34:32.available for the winner, two points for second place, for third. The

:34:33. > :34:37.remaining three riders will not score at all. Hugh Dennis is trying

:34:38. > :34:42.to make sure he stays out of trouble early on. This is a man with some

:34:43. > :34:47.cycling experience. He has written on a Tour in France on two occasions

:34:48. > :34:52.in the past and he is looking to make sure you can stay in the race a

:34:53. > :34:57.bit longer. You can see how hard he is trying. He is taking it out from

:34:58. > :35:01.the front. This is to make sure he doesn't get himself in trouble, but

:35:02. > :35:06.it looks like Steve Redgrave is in the hot seat at the moment. Already

:35:07. > :35:12.close, as they go over the line. We have a four love. Hugh Dennis is

:35:13. > :35:17.down. -- we have a fall. Hugh Dennis hit the deck at the end of the first

:35:18. > :35:24.sprint. I can't quite believe it. Just a touch of wheels. It was his

:35:25. > :35:31.own team-mate who just squeezed him out. Momentarily, they will

:35:32. > :35:40.neutralise the race. Confirmation that Harry Judd won't be McFlying it

:35:41. > :35:45.around the track any more. He was the first rider to go. Hugh Dennis

:35:46. > :35:50.will not be re-starting as a result of the crash a few moments ago. We

:35:51. > :36:00.are down to four. Here we go. Mark Wright, Freddie Flintoff, Dan Snow

:36:01. > :36:03.and Sir Steve Redgrave. Two riders left from each team. And now we are

:36:04. > :36:17.underway. What about the tactics here? Freddie

:36:18. > :36:22.Flintoff going right to the start and trying to dominate. In a race

:36:23. > :36:27.like this, do you take the front and try to take control or do you risk

:36:28. > :36:32.it from the back? You get the risk of getting out of line. At the

:36:33. > :36:36.moment, it is Sir Steve Redgrave who is caught at the back on the inside.

:36:37. > :36:44.Steve Redgrave found himself boxed in last time and it looks as though

:36:45. > :36:48.he is almost riding into one of his opponents again. Flintoff leads them

:36:49. > :36:53.over the line, and Mark Wright is the man to go. He has been feeling

:36:54. > :36:58.unwell today and we were not sure if he would come back out for the

:36:59. > :37:08.restart, but he gave it a go. For Mark Wright, the only way is back to

:37:09. > :37:12.Essex. That is a shocker, but true. The bell goes, and it is the sprint

:37:13. > :37:18.to the line. It looks like Flintoff has got it all the way. Absolutely

:37:19. > :37:24.plumping down the back straight. Looked at him go. He was

:37:25. > :37:30.head-to-head two years ago but I think he is going to win. Freddie

:37:31. > :37:35.Flintoff is a two times winner in Clash of the Titans elimination

:37:36. > :37:42.race. He won it at a canter. Undefeated. The undefeated Freddie

:37:43. > :37:49.Flintoff. Here it is again, rob. He left the others trailing. Dan Snow

:37:50. > :37:53.just trying to get in the wheel of Freddie but unfortunately for Steve

:37:54. > :37:57.Redgrave, he was trying to go round the long wait and that was the hard

:37:58. > :38:03.way, but unfortunately for the blues it was Freddie Flintoff all the way.

:38:04. > :38:10.Freddie Flintoff takes the win with room to spare. Dan Snow second and

:38:11. > :38:15.Sir Steve Redgrave third. Let's grab a word with our top

:38:16. > :38:21.three. What was it like? I enjoyed it. It is hard, especially when you

:38:22. > :38:27.are unfit. The young man got us. A big kick, powerful legs. There are

:38:28. > :38:32.two blues in the top three, Dan Snow. Freddie said you were the

:38:33. > :38:37.danger men, and you came through. He was talking me up. That was a hell

:38:38. > :38:44.of a kick, he pounced. Freddie Flintoff is undefeated on the track.

:38:45. > :38:48.You have done it again. I thought it was going to get harder. On the last

:38:49. > :38:52.lap, I am just going to go for it and see what happens. I thought

:38:53. > :38:58.Steve would be breathing down my neck but he should stick to his

:38:59. > :39:02.rowing, shouldn't he? Good news is that Steve Dennis -- Hugh Dennis is

:39:03. > :39:07.OK. Freddie Flintoff I think, had been

:39:08. > :39:13.training for that one, and it was a decisive victory for the cricketing

:39:14. > :39:19.legend. Three points 14 Flintoff, but Dan Snow and Sir Steve Redgrave

:39:20. > :39:22.both on the board for their team. One events down. Next up,

:39:23. > :39:37.synchronised swimming with Russell Kane taking on Will Young. It is not

:39:38. > :39:38.a dream. Porsche Hugh Dennis, but well done, Freddie.

:39:39. > :39:41.OK, it's time to take a look at the leaderboard for the very

:39:42. > :39:53.After the first event, Team Flintoff as three points and Tim Redgrave

:39:54. > :39:54.also have three points. It is all to play for.

:39:55. > :39:57.Of course, it's not going to surprise you that on Sport Relief

:39:58. > :40:00.we are pretty keen on sport and really hope that you will be

:40:01. > :40:05.When the Sport Relief weekend is over, if you need more

:40:06. > :40:08.inspiration on how to get involved in loads of different sports then

:40:09. > :40:16.And you're certainly going to be inspired

:40:17. > :40:20.To tell you all about a wonderful woman called Margaret,

:40:21. > :40:31.I'd like you to meet a wonderful lady called Margaret. She is going

:40:32. > :40:35.to tell you a love story. When I met Mike I knew that was

:40:36. > :40:40.definitely something special. We used to spend a lot

:40:41. > :40:51.of time walking. Yeah, if we were sitting anywhere,

:40:52. > :41:00.his arm would go round my shoulder. I was in love with him

:41:01. > :41:07.and expected him to be I spent quite a bit of time

:41:08. > :41:19.on my own with the children. He used to work up in town

:41:20. > :41:23.and he'd come home. I'd have his dinner ready and then

:41:24. > :41:26.he'd go down to a local pub Very hard for Mike and I to have any

:41:27. > :41:36.time together, really. We had big plans when

:41:37. > :41:40.we were both retired. It was our time and we still had

:41:41. > :41:51.a lot of living to do. I got the phone call to say,

:41:52. > :41:56."You must come to the hospital." By the time I got there,

:41:57. > :42:09.it was too late. Where do you go when your soulmate,

:42:10. > :42:16.partner, lover is gone? I wanted to finish it

:42:17. > :42:31.all and join Mike. I used to go shopping and walk

:42:32. > :42:37.over a bridge and look, but then I'd think of the car

:42:38. > :42:41.driver that would hit me I knew that I needed

:42:42. > :43:05.to talk to somebody. Just when she needed it

:43:06. > :43:07.most, Margaret found the Bereavement Centre,

:43:08. > :43:11.a project supported by Sport Relief. It's a place she can go when it

:43:12. > :43:20.feels like there's nowhere else. I still get the pain of losing Mike,

:43:21. > :43:24.but it's brought together people that have gone through

:43:25. > :43:30.exactly the same. The Bereavement Centre

:43:31. > :43:47.have saved my life. It is easy to think that, just

:43:48. > :43:51.because somebody is older, they can cope with the loss of a loved one

:43:52. > :43:56.more easily, but that just isn't true. Why should age make any

:43:57. > :44:00.difference? In this country around a million older people are chronically

:44:01. > :44:06.lonely. One in four feel they have nobody to go to for help or support.

:44:07. > :44:08.Tonight, you can help change things. Tonight, you can make a difference.

:44:09. > :44:16.Please call us. Thank you. Loneliness and loss are desperate

:44:17. > :44:18.things to have to cope with. ?25 pays for a counselling session

:44:19. > :44:21.for a bereaved person to help them If you can, please do help us

:44:22. > :44:25.to continue supporting You can see what a difference

:44:26. > :44:29.that project has made. You can donate online

:44:30. > :44:33.at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:44:34. > :44:44.standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

:44:45. > :44:48.will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

:44:49. > :44:51.ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditons

:44:52. > :44:53.and more information If you could donate,

:44:54. > :45:02.we would be very grateful. Now, if you're a fan

:45:03. > :45:06.of The One Show - and I know I am, I have the Blu-ray box set at home -

:45:07. > :45:10.you'll have followed the inspiring journey of the courageous crew

:45:11. > :45:35.who survived Hell On High Seas. # You light the skies above

:45:36. > :45:43.# You and me, we can write on a star # If you stay with me, girl we can

:45:44. > :45:51.rule the world # Yeah, you and me we can ride on a

:45:52. > :45:54.star... Everybody has pulled together. I think everyone will go

:45:55. > :45:58.home with a huge sense of accomplishment.

:45:59. > :46:00.Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome two of our heroic

:46:01. > :46:05.Hell on High Seas challengers - Alex Jones and Angellica Bell.

:46:06. > :46:47.Took is through the dramatic scenes on daily two. We were in a bit of a

:46:48. > :46:54.quandary as to whether to keep sailing, because we had to avoid a

:46:55. > :46:58.force ten storm. It was Armageddon! We made the decision to go into

:46:59. > :47:02.Plymouth, but on the way in, we were on watch in the middle of the night,

:47:03. > :47:08.drenched, choppy seas, in the middle of the night and wanting to go home.

:47:09. > :47:12.Why did you make me do this? Sorry about that. It was like the world

:47:13. > :47:18.was going to end at that point. What was it like to be on board? On board

:47:19. > :47:22.was kind of OK apart from the really grim bits, the middle of the night

:47:23. > :47:27.when the waves are dashing over. Down below deck, where you didn't

:47:28. > :47:31.see very much, you were being woken up every few hours to go on deck.

:47:32. > :47:37.You'd have to get dressed like this... And then you try to pull

:47:38. > :47:44.your trousers on. The boat is at an angle. It's not just putting your

:47:45. > :47:49.clothes on, we had so many layers. Thermals, a rubber seal over your

:47:50. > :47:54.neck. Is it true the boys were more sick than the girls? That is true.

:47:55. > :48:02.Alex and I were the only two who didn't get seasick. CHEERING

:48:03. > :48:08.It must have felt amazing when you finally got home and got off the

:48:09. > :48:15.thing will stop when we got what when we got into the Thames, it was

:48:16. > :48:19.karma, but it didn't seem real we would be back on terra firma. There

:48:20. > :48:22.were such difficult conditions on the boat for so long. It was

:48:23. > :48:29.emotional to see our friends and family. We shed some tears. It was

:48:30. > :48:35.amazing and emotional, but what's more amazing, that was five days for

:48:36. > :48:39.us. All of you out there, watching at home, what's amazing is that they

:48:40. > :48:50.got behind it once again and go native. That's the thing. -- and

:48:51. > :48:55.donated. We can reveal that the total raised, including ?150,000

:48:56. > :49:10.from BT who supported the challenge, is a whopping 1,000,060.

:49:11. > :49:17.Are you going to keep that money or give it to Sport Relief? We will

:49:18. > :49:21.give it to Sport Relief! Good for you. That makes it worth it.

:49:22. > :49:24.Now, for you, Alex, your Sport Relief doesn't end

:49:25. > :49:32.This Sunday, myself, Matt Baker and John Inverdale

:49:33. > :49:35.will be taking the Sport Relief baton all the way to

:49:36. > :49:44.Join us on Sunday as people all over the nation do themselves proud for

:49:45. > :49:48.Sport Relief. We live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as a whole

:49:49. > :49:52.host of people join us for the culmination of the Sport Relief we

:49:53. > :49:56.can. We will test those famous faces with challenges. And we will bring

:49:57. > :50:01.you the action from across the country as thousands of you walk,

:50:02. > :50:11.run, swim or cycle yourselves proud to raise cash and change people's

:50:12. > :50:18.lives. That's live on Sunday. Ooo Betty! Fancy dress optional.

:50:19. > :50:21.And it's not too late if you want to take part in any

:50:22. > :50:24.Thousands of you have already signed up.

:50:25. > :50:27.If you haven't, it's going to be a brilliant day,

:50:28. > :50:30.so whoever you are, wherever you are, what are you waiting for?

:50:31. > :50:32.For details of how to take part, head to the website

:50:33. > :50:39.Now, you'll already know that Ebola is one of the most

:50:40. > :50:43.Sierra Leone was one of the worst affected countries.

:50:44. > :50:55.Thankfully the country was declared Ebola free at the end of last year.

:50:56. > :50:58.But it left a trail of despair in its wake, as EastEnders actor

:50:59. > :51:18.This is a slum in Freetown, it's a bustling community

:51:19. > :51:21.But when the Ebola epidemic hit, this once vibrant

:51:22. > :51:25.With people living so close to one another, in already overcrowded

:51:26. > :51:33.homes, the deadly virus spread quickly.

:51:34. > :51:38.People were suspicious and afraid of treatment centres.

:51:39. > :51:42.And it didn't take long for rumours to start.

:51:43. > :51:51.As ever, in all of this, the ones who suffer most are children.

:51:52. > :51:54.I see why something like Ebola would hit a place like this.

:51:55. > :52:08.12-year-old Mohammed and his little brother Mousa

:52:09. > :52:12.As the only two surviving members of their entire family,

:52:13. > :52:15.they saw relative after relative being taken off to a treatment

:52:16. > :52:34.Why did you not want to go to the treatment centre?

:52:35. > :52:38.With so many family members having died from the virus,

:52:39. > :52:41.others in the community were suspicious that the boys may

:52:42. > :53:05.Having contracted and yet survived Ebola, the boys are back at home

:53:06. > :53:07.and are now supported by their mum's best friend.

:53:08. > :53:13.She does what she can, but there's no money.

:53:14. > :53:16.After everything they've been through, now they've even

:53:17. > :53:51.Mohammed and Mousa still live in the same building

:53:52. > :54:14.They just want to go to school and learn and better themselves

:54:15. > :54:20.There's no option there. No school.

:54:21. > :54:25.They're talking about being lawyers and stuff, you know.

:54:26. > :54:31.They've got brains to use and they want to nourish that brain

:54:32. > :54:34.and they want to do something with themselves and they can't.

:54:35. > :54:41.Every child on this planet deserves or should go to school.

:54:42. > :54:45.It's about giving them an opportunity to just live,

:54:46. > :54:51.to just live, live a life and have enjoyable, magical moments,

:54:52. > :55:07.I think we should try to let those boys, and others like them,

:55:08. > :55:11.But for that, they need a good education.

:55:12. > :55:13.?70 pays for a whole year at secondary school.

:55:14. > :55:16.The children of Sierra Leone desperately need our support.

:55:17. > :55:18.You've been so brilliant in the past.

:55:19. > :55:20.Could you, would you, help us once more?

:55:21. > :55:24.Please donate by going online at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or call

:55:25. > :55:32.Or you can text the word YES to 70010 to donate ?10.

:55:33. > :55:34.Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network

:55:35. > :55:44.Right, it's time for the first Sport Relief sketch of the night.

:55:45. > :55:53.And surprise surprise - you're dressed as a woman.

:55:54. > :56:02.With some very special guests, it's the return of Little Britain.

:56:03. > :56:09.TOM BAKER: Football is one of Britain's most popular pastimes.

:56:10. > :56:14.In his office, sports agent Mickey Perm is trying

:56:15. > :56:16.to strike a deal for one of his footballers.

:56:17. > :56:19.I don't play football myself, because sadly, I don't have a foot.

:56:20. > :56:28.I've got one for you. Kevin Keegan.

:56:29. > :56:42.Ah, Crouchy, my favourite new client.

:56:43. > :56:49.I'd get you back in the England team, didn't I?

:56:50. > :56:53.Well, your numero uno agent has only gone and done it.

:56:54. > :56:54.Really? Yep.

:56:55. > :56:59.I can't wait to be back with the boys.

:57:00. > :57:00.Hold on. It's not exactly with the boys.

:57:01. > :57:04.It's with the ladies. The ladies?

:57:05. > :57:08.I've got you a place with the Lionesses.

:57:09. > :57:15.I've got someone who can help you with that.

:57:16. > :57:23.My name is Emily Howard, and I am a lady.

:57:24. > :57:40.She is going to teach you how to behave like a lady.

:57:41. > :57:43.I must say, I was rather surprised when I heard

:57:44. > :57:49.In my mind, ladies should play ladies' games, like cribbage

:57:50. > :58:01.Crouchy, do you want to play for England again or not?

:58:02. > :58:25.TOM JONES: # Well, she's all you'd ever want

:58:26. > :58:31.# She's the kind I'd like to flaunt And take to dinner

:58:32. > :58:34.# Well, she always knows her place She's got style, she's got grace

:58:35. > :58:44.# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

:58:45. > :58:58.# But she's never in the way Always something nice to say

:58:59. > :59:06.# I can leave her on her own Knowing she's OK alone

:59:07. > :59:17.# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

:59:18. > :59:31.# She knows what I'm about She can take what I dish out

:59:32. > :59:38.# But she knows me through and through

:59:39. > :59:44.# And she knows just what to do and how to please me... #

:59:45. > :59:46.Are you sure that they'll believe that I'm a lady?

:59:47. > :01:24.What do you think you're playing at?

:01:25. > :01:29.I think you might have rather given the game away.

:01:30. > :01:43.You can give me the outfit back later.

:01:44. > :02:00.Massive thank yous to the hilarious Micky Flanagan, David Seaman,

:02:01. > :02:02.The Lionesses, their manager Mark Sampson.

:02:03. > :02:07.And of course, a huge thank you

:02:08. > :02:29.It's just, you said we were going to dress up for this bit.

:02:30. > :02:33.I did say that, but then I thought - dressing as a woman to get laughs

:02:34. > :02:37.But you've made a career out of it. Exactly.

:02:38. > :02:59.You have actually never look to more lovely. So, moving on...

:03:00. > :03:05.Ladies and gentlemen, The beautiful Gary-Ella Lineker.

:03:06. > :03:09.Right, still to come tonight - Luther, as you've never

:03:10. > :03:14.Nusic from the incredibly talented James Bay.

:03:15. > :03:17.And we're only moments away from the second instalment of Clash

:03:18. > :03:20.of the Titans, as Russell Kane and Will Young take to the pool

:03:21. > :03:29.Right, time for a thank you, and this one goes to BT,

:03:30. > :03:31.who have once again been brilliant supporters of Sport Relief.

:03:32. > :03:33.They've been donating money from calls made

:03:34. > :03:35.to the Speaking Clock on their Chat for Change Day.

:03:36. > :03:50.I know a thing or two about dedication and hard work. And some

:03:51. > :03:56.other people who know a thing or two about that are the good people at

:03:57. > :04:01.BT. Since the start they have been involved in Sport Relief. The people

:04:02. > :04:05.who man the phones at Sport Relief are all volunteers, giving up their

:04:06. > :04:09.free time to take your donations. No matter how big or how small, those

:04:10. > :04:13.donations make a difference. They helped us raise money for those who

:04:14. > :04:17.needed each year. That is an amazing achievement. The staff are also

:04:18. > :04:21.massively behind it and have a mission for their staff to travel to

:04:22. > :04:29.the moon and back by recording their steps. We could not do it without

:04:30. > :04:33.you. So there is really only one thing to say. Thank you!

:04:34. > :04:37.APPLAUSE I couldn't have said it

:04:38. > :04:43.better myself, thank you! And we can reveal that

:04:44. > :04:51.their brilliant efforts have raised Now, those of you who follow

:04:52. > :05:00.EastEnders will remember the deeply moving storyline about Stacey

:05:01. > :05:03.and her struggle with extreme Here's Lacey Turner -

:05:04. > :05:09.the actress who plays Stacey - to explain that for many women,

:05:10. > :05:14.this condition is all too real. Giving birth to a child should be

:05:15. > :05:18.a truly wonderful time in a woman's life and one of life's

:05:19. > :05:24.most joyful experiences. But, sadly, as I have learnt

:05:25. > :05:27.in my role as Stacey, The truth is that every year,

:05:28. > :05:41.here in the UK, around 70,000 women won't find that becoming a mother

:05:42. > :05:46.is the fairy-tale they dreamed of. I can't keep Arthur safe

:05:47. > :05:50.every minute on my own. 70,000 women won't find

:05:51. > :05:53.the sleepless nights and constant care a baby needs

:05:54. > :05:56.plain old exhausting. They'll find it much

:05:57. > :05:58.worse than that. They will become ill

:05:59. > :06:03.with postnatal depression. In more extreme cases like Stacey's,

:06:04. > :06:06.more than 1,400 women will suffer from the more severe

:06:07. > :06:09.version of the illness, This is truly frightening,

:06:10. > :06:22.for them and for their families. Arthur is not yours.

:06:23. > :06:32.He is God's. Stacey, why would they

:06:33. > :06:34.want to take Arthur? He's outside.

:06:35. > :06:38.He's waiting. Sadly, like with so many mental

:06:39. > :06:42.illnesses, women are scared They think they should

:06:43. > :06:51.feel a certain way. They're new mothers, after all -

:06:52. > :06:54.why does it seem that everyone else It's thought that the real number

:06:55. > :07:08.of sufferers is higher, but that women are too scared

:07:09. > :07:12.to come forward and talk about it. They're scared of what people

:07:13. > :07:17.will say and they're scared I believe it's

:07:18. > :07:26.absolutely real for you. And I think it must be tiring

:07:27. > :07:30.and extremely stressful. If you think you're suffering

:07:31. > :07:33.from postnatal depression, the best thing you can do is tell

:07:34. > :07:36.someone you're feeling overwhelmed. Talk to a doctor or health

:07:37. > :07:46.visitor or a friend. After Arthur was born,

:07:47. > :07:47.I heard his voice. He only talked to you

:07:48. > :07:54.after Arthur was born? Sport Relief is supporting

:07:55. > :07:57.the maternal mental health alliance to raise awareness of the importance

:07:58. > :08:01.of this issue, as well as projects which aim to support mums,

:08:02. > :08:04.dads and their families to recover from maternal mental

:08:05. > :08:07.health and move forwards. I think we're going to

:08:08. > :08:11.need a clean outfit. We want you to know you're not

:08:12. > :08:14.alone, you have nothing You can be treated and

:08:15. > :08:19.things can get better. Help us to continue to support women

:08:20. > :08:22.and families, who are suffering unnecessarily at what should be one

:08:23. > :08:26.of the happiest times To donate please call

:08:27. > :08:36.or go to the website. The stigma around illnesses

:08:37. > :08:42.like post-natal depression hasn't gone away yet, but things

:08:43. > :08:45.are slowly getting better. ?30 could enable an isolated mum

:08:46. > :08:54.who is experiencing post-natal depression to attend a session

:08:55. > :08:59.to help start the road to recovery. Please help us to support those mums

:09:00. > :09:18.at the time they really need it, by donating online at

:09:19. > :09:20.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:09:21. > :09:26.standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

:09:27. > :09:31.will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

:09:32. > :09:34.ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and

:09:35. > :09:36.conditions and more information go to

:09:37. > :09:44.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. It's time for the

:09:45. > :09:46.synchronised Swimming. We'd be good at synchronised

:09:47. > :09:48.swimming, Gary. It's OK, I'll sort something out.

:09:49. > :09:53.Anyway, it's time for... You're not going to say

:09:54. > :09:55.Clash Of The Titans No, it's time for

:09:56. > :10:20.Splash of the Titans! Welcome to the London Aquatics

:10:21. > :10:24.Centre. And boy, have we got a treat for you tonightif you were watching

:10:25. > :10:29.earlier, you will have seen that clash of the Titans is tight. Team

:10:30. > :10:36.Redgrave and Team Flintoff tied at three apiece after the first event

:10:37. > :10:40.of the evening, the Elimination Cycling. But of course it can all

:10:41. > :10:45.change, because next up, we have got synchronised swimming! Let's speak

:10:46. > :10:51.to a lady who knows all we need to know about it. Where are you? I am

:10:52. > :10:54.right above you. Welcome to what is going to be a fantastic evening. We

:10:55. > :11:00.have got two very different routines from two very different performers.

:11:01. > :11:04.On Team Flintoff, it is comedian Russell Kane. And for Team Redgrave,

:11:05. > :11:10.we have our very own top idol Willie Young! And they will be performing

:11:11. > :11:14.alongside five incredibly talented girls from acrobatics. Each

:11:15. > :11:17.performance will be scored by three professional synchro judges, with

:11:18. > :11:21.each judge awarding a score out of ten. The routine with the highest

:11:22. > :11:34.score will get maximum points for their team. Back to you, Ore. We

:11:35. > :11:38.will be finding out just what Will and Russell will be unleashing on

:11:39. > :11:48.the world. I still do not know how to put this on. Your watery stage

:11:49. > :11:54.awaits you. Yes, I am the mer-man of the synchronised swimming world.

:11:55. > :11:58.Russell Kane, let me talk to you bit. This place is steeped in

:11:59. > :12:05.history, from 2012. Are you to undo all that legacy? No, I am really

:12:06. > :12:08.composed, apart from my locker key, as I get a bit tense if I am away

:12:09. > :12:13.from my possessions. I would not be surprised if I grew fins or wedding

:12:14. > :12:20.during the performance. My goodness me! We are all set. Ladies and

:12:21. > :12:24.gentlemen, what you are about to see, you will not be able to unsee.

:12:25. > :12:28.It is definitely getting a bit clammy in here! Ladies and

:12:29. > :12:41.gentlemen, are we ready for our first performance of the evening? We

:12:42. > :12:53.have got loyalty with us. For Team Redgrave, Will Young!

:12:54. > :13:01.I am here for Sport Relief to do synchronised swimming. I feel it is

:13:02. > :13:06.my destiny. Hello! Hi, what do you think? Almost looking the part. You

:13:07. > :13:10.look like you are going scuba-diving, more than synchronised

:13:11. > :13:15.swimming. I can dance, sort of. I can swim. Can I do them both? I will

:13:16. > :13:20.find out. The worst thing that can happen on the night is that I could

:13:21. > :13:25.drown. I would be upset. Go slowly to start with. Really hard! They

:13:26. > :13:41.make it look very easy. It is not easy. It is quite exhausting on the

:13:42. > :13:43.body, even though it is a short routine. Why didn't I do something

:13:44. > :13:46.like cycling, that would be easier?! I feel like I am in a Vegas show.

:13:47. > :14:09.The thing is, nobody remembers second place. We are here to win.

:14:10. > :14:36.MUSIC: "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies"

:14:37. > :14:45.COMMENTATOR: A brand-new challenge for Will Young tonight, drawing on

:14:46. > :14:55.all his performance skills to create a scene from Norway. Lovely cadence,

:14:56. > :14:58.great synchronisation. It is all about keeping in time with the

:14:59. > :15:04.music, synchronising with your team-mates. And look at that leg

:15:05. > :15:12.kick under the water, which is what is keeping them afloat. Straight

:15:13. > :15:18.legs. This is the hardest part for Will chuggers keeping vertical and

:15:19. > :15:22.upright. He is trying to fight off the acrobatics girls. Time for the

:15:23. > :15:39.big lift... Fantastic presentation from Will Young! Dynamic performance

:15:40. > :15:42.from the Pop Idol winner. A man who knows all about stage and screen as

:15:43. > :15:47.well. Let's have a look at some of the highlights. Beautiful dive. He

:15:48. > :15:52.loves swimming, loved diving as a boy, he was telling me earlier on.

:15:53. > :16:02.Look how well he is synchronised with the girls from Aquabatics. Real

:16:03. > :16:07.sense of drama about this routine. Good height on the lift. I think the

:16:08. > :16:12.judges will have enjoyed that. Something quite sensational. Will

:16:13. > :16:22.Young, you have done this since birth, right?! Yes!

:16:23. > :16:28.These girls are amazing. I can't actually talk. You don't need to.

:16:29. > :16:52.Because the judges' scores are in. It's a clean sweep of 8s. 24 Will

:16:53. > :16:57.Young. I'm happy with that. I couldn't actually add that up. I'm

:16:58. > :17:03.pleased you added it up as well! The doubt in your face made me doubt

:17:04. > :17:07.myself. You don't need to do maths, you're a beautiful synchronised

:17:08. > :17:10.swimmer. Off you go! APPLAUSE

:17:11. > :17:19.Well earned rest. We're not done just yet. It's time for act two,

:17:20. > :17:22.who's ready for Russell Kane? For team Flintoff, it's Russell Kane.

:17:23. > :17:33.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:17:34. > :17:41.I'm normally a stand-up comedian and presenter. Today I'm learning

:17:42. > :17:44.synchronised swimming. Teach me a move, I can do it double jointed.

:17:45. > :17:49.Yes, you may find it quite difficult. Oh, yeah. How am I going

:17:50. > :17:54.to remember the moves? You just have to do it over and over again. It's

:17:55. > :18:00.actually a very athletic sport. I'm just going to go for it.

:18:01. > :18:06.I could well easily just be floating in the water like an idiot,

:18:07. > :18:12.surrounded by great girls. It could be worse, really couldn't it?

:18:13. > :18:16.Actually I might just do that. I think in words because it's my job,

:18:17. > :18:20.so to remember physical moves doesn't come natural Troy me. If I

:18:21. > :18:26.can't -- natural to me. If I can't be elegant in the water, I think

:18:27. > :18:28.strike. Quick movement, bold, masculine shapes. That's my strategy

:18:29. > :18:55.on the night. COMMENTATOR: Russell, if you

:18:56. > :19:02.remember him performing to Beyonce in 2012, here he is tapping into his

:19:03. > :19:09.inner diva yet again. He's no stranger to twerking. Quite hard to

:19:10. > :19:14.do under water, though. So lots and lots of cheeky, diva moves that you

:19:15. > :19:20.will see during this routine. Good movement of the legs under water.

:19:21. > :19:24.Just keeping themselves afloat by using arms and legs. Strong moves

:19:25. > :19:34.from Russell. Lots of diva attitude. We want to

:19:35. > :19:38.see lots of flirting with the crowd. We're going to go for the lift here.

:19:39. > :19:47.The girls can't touch the bottom of the pool.

:19:48. > :19:57.Again, trying to get those legs synchronised. Not quite as pointed

:19:58. > :20:03.as they could have been. The trade mark Russell Kane thumb move to

:20:04. > :20:12.finish. Applause from his opponent. APPLAUSE He wouldn't tell me which

:20:13. > :20:16.pussy cat doll he wanted to be. I felt there was a bit of Nicole in

:20:17. > :20:19.there. Here we go. At the start of the routine, getting into position

:20:20. > :20:24.quickly. He's got to be synchronised with the girls, as we said, and with

:20:25. > :20:31.the music. That was the lift. Yeah, we saw some good hand moves. There

:20:32. > :20:41.-- moves there. We will see what the judges made of that. Will he have

:20:42. > :20:47.done enough to beat team Redgrave? Here he comes, ladies and gentleman.

:20:48. > :20:51.Don't you do that again before telling me how you a synchronised

:20:52. > :21:12.swimmer you are. 24 is the score to beat. Here we go.

:21:13. > :21:21.That means you need just seven to win this battle.

:21:22. > :21:33.It's a 10! How about that. 28 Russell, how are you feeling? I'm

:21:34. > :21:38.feeling amazing. Thank you very much. The irony of synchronised

:21:39. > :21:41.swimming is it takes a lot of balls to do this. I've got respect for

:21:42. > :21:49.these girls. They are amazing. What a team, what a guy, what a

:21:50. > :21:52.performance - what an outfit! What does that do for the scores. Great

:21:53. > :22:09.performance by Russell and Will. Team Flintoff get the two points.

:22:10. > :22:15.Thank you very much to Russell and his team. Thank you very much to

:22:16. > :22:20.Will Young and his team! To the Aquabatics and the judges. So much

:22:21. > :22:22.still to come from Clash Of The Titans. Join us later to see how our

:22:23. > :22:36.teams get rhythmic. See you soon. # Somewhere beyond the sea

:22:37. > :22:44.# Somewhere... Let's have a look at how that event

:22:45. > :22:46.has changed the leaderboard... This is what you'll

:22:47. > :22:53.be remembered for. So, after the second

:22:54. > :23:03.event of the night... Team Flintoff is in the lead. It's

:23:04. > :23:05.going to be a close one. How did you talk me into this? I can talk you

:23:06. > :23:23.into a lot of things! APPLAUSE There is something I'm

:23:24. > :23:27.particularly excited about tonight, returning to our screens for the

:23:28. > :23:29.first time in nearly 40 years is one of the greatest comedy characters of

:23:30. > :23:42.all time - not him! - Frank is back. And that's coming up

:23:43. > :23:58.a little later tonight. And bringing you brilliant

:23:59. > :24:00.entertainment like that is all part Here is a man who knows only too

:24:01. > :24:20.well how important ... Sorry, that's Danny's bit. I

:24:21. > :24:25.carried on. You didn't go to Sierra Leone. You were at home while he

:24:26. > :24:37.went! I would have done if you'd have invited me. All right, you dug

:24:38. > :24:39.yourself a hole, just shut up. Sport Relief asked me to go

:24:40. > :24:42.to Sierra Leone, I'll admit I was scared of what I'd see.

:24:43. > :24:46.But I'll tell you something - it's an amazing country.

:24:47. > :25:10.And I have never seen anything like it in my life.

:25:11. > :25:34.At this very moment I'm embarrassed to be a human being.

:25:35. > :25:43.How it gets to this stage where children are running

:25:44. > :26:06.There's a kid over there, he's got flip-flops on.

:26:07. > :26:14.There's glass, there's fires and he's just got flip-flops on.

:26:15. > :26:25.And he works on this rubbish dump every single day.

:26:26. > :26:34.In fact, he's never known a life outside of it.

:26:35. > :26:36.Because Usman and his family actually live on the dump.

:26:37. > :27:03.The money, I buy food for them so we can survive.

:27:04. > :27:05.The money, the father buys food for them to survive.

:27:06. > :27:16.TRANSLATION: I want to leave this dump site.

:27:17. > :27:30.Hassan, do you think it will ever happen for you?

:27:31. > :27:33.TRANSLATION: He's not really thinking if that will ever happen

:27:34. > :27:38.for him in his lifetime. The powers that be, whoever

:27:39. > :27:58.they are, forget about all that, we can actually come together

:27:59. > :28:01.as human beings and help Just from sitting where you are now,

:28:02. > :28:07.the difference you can make I know they seem

:28:08. > :28:12.a million miles away. You can make such a difference

:28:13. > :28:16.from such a little thing. So please, get these people out

:28:17. > :28:19.of this, this just ain't right. We've got to come together

:28:20. > :28:23.and make this happen. If you've never done it before,

:28:24. > :28:29.make this the first time you've It seems just too massive a problem

:28:30. > :28:43.to do anything doesn't it? But I'm here to promise

:28:44. > :28:48.you, it's not. We're working with a project

:28:49. > :28:50.who take little kids like Osman ?70 pays for a whole

:28:51. > :29:02.year of education. I'm not asking you to

:29:03. > :29:11.pay the whole 70 quid. I'm at the Olympic Park on Sunday,

:29:12. > :29:14.come and run a mile with me, do whatever you've got to do. Just,

:29:15. > :29:16.it's horrendous. Please give what you can. Thank you.

:29:17. > :29:22.APPLAUSE I bet that most of you watching now

:29:23. > :29:27.will have your phone sitting right there next to you,

:29:28. > :29:31.so please pick it up, type the word YES and send

:29:32. > :29:34.it to 70010 and help It's that simple, and it

:29:35. > :29:39.will be the most important Texts will cost ?10 plus your

:29:40. > :29:46.standard network message charge. OK, we've got off to a brilliant

:29:47. > :29:49.start and, although the night is still very young, I think it's

:29:50. > :29:52.time we announced our first total, I certainly do, man off Match of the

:29:53. > :30:00.Day. Tonight you have raised

:30:01. > :30:25.a phenomenal... Wow, wow, wow! Thank you so much

:30:26. > :30:27.everybody. That is an amazing amount of money. We cannot thank you

:30:28. > :30:29.enough. I know, I know, we'd love to present

:30:30. > :30:38.for longer, but sadly Gary's curfew at the old folks home

:30:39. > :30:41.is fast approaching. I don't actually have to be back

:30:42. > :30:47.until nine o'clock. Ladies and gentlemen,

:30:48. > :30:49.the brilliant, the talented, CHEERING AND

:30:50. > :30:55.APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen,

:30:56. > :30:58.the childish, the irritating, pain in the bum that

:30:59. > :31:00.is Mr David Walliams! CHEERING AND

:31:01. > :31:04.APPLAUSE Coming up, we have

:31:05. > :31:11.Strictly's Tess Daly Bez from the Happy Mondays,

:31:12. > :31:15.and telly favourite Lorraine Kelly Let's take a look at what else

:31:16. > :31:49.is in store for you tonight. Still to come... Franke Spencer is

:31:50. > :31:57.back in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. Jack Whitehall meets Gareth Bale.

:31:58. > :32:03.And there is a royal visit in the clash of the titans. All, much more

:32:04. > :32:13.coming up here tonight on Sport Relief. Ladies and gentlemen, please

:32:14. > :32:15.welcome your amazing hosts, Davina McCall, Claudia Winkleman and John

:32:16. > :32:39.Bishop! Thank you! Good evening, and what a

:32:40. > :32:46.fantastic night of Sport Relief we have had so four. Look at you with

:32:47. > :32:50.those on! I love it! And a massive thank you to Gary and David, like an

:32:51. > :32:56.old married couple, weren't they? Now, John, this is a very modern

:32:57. > :33:02.marriage you have got here, a Claudia and Davina sandwich. You are

:33:03. > :33:06.feeling quite lucky right now? I am, and every middle-aged man across the

:33:07. > :33:16.country, you can donate to stand where I am. So, we have got some

:33:17. > :33:24.unbelievable treats coming up in the next hour.

:33:25. > :33:29.More from the Titans as they take on Rhythmic Gymnastics,

:33:30. > :33:32.and of course, the return of the one and only Michael Crawford

:33:33. > :33:37.It's true that everyone here has got a touch of what we like to call

:33:38. > :33:42.Take a look over there, even Crookie on camera one has

:33:43. > :33:58.Time now for one of my all time Sport Relief heroes.

:33:59. > :34:08.I mean, the endurance they have shown. That is obviously me. The wit

:34:09. > :34:15.they have. I think that is still me. It is not about me, it is about the

:34:16. > :34:17.kids. And they look very beautiful - in clothes.

:34:18. > :34:19.It's the incredible, funny, and beautiful,

:34:20. > :34:24.He has completed 24 marathons out of 27 in South Africa.

:34:25. > :34:42.Welcome to South Africa. Why 27 marathons. Nelson Mandela was in

:34:43. > :34:47.prison for 27 years so I thought I would run 27 marathons in 27 days.

:34:48. > :35:05.Thank you. I am dehydrating. And that is where

:35:06. > :35:10.the problem lies. Spraying me, spraying me like crazy! I am a

:35:11. > :35:25.determined to it and I just want to keep going. Cheers, everyone! Just

:35:26. > :35:30.keep it in here and drive forward, and I can get this done.

:35:31. > :35:39.And Eddie's in Cape Town right now after doing his 24th marathon.

:35:40. > :35:58.Hi, how are you? Eddie, it is Davina, it is so lovely to see you.

:35:59. > :36:04.Where are you? I am in Cape Town, South Africa, at the moment. It is

:36:05. > :36:09.two hours later than where you are. We have got table mounted behind us,

:36:10. > :36:14.wonderful city. And Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 years,

:36:15. > :36:20.I am trying to run the 27 marathons in 27 days as a salute to Nelson

:36:21. > :36:25.Mandela. This is where we are at the moment. Eddie, it is John. I am just

:36:26. > :36:30.saying that in case you did not recognise the voice. Eddie, how are

:36:31. > :36:36.you getting on with the heat? The heat took me a part, actually. I am

:36:37. > :36:43.just resting my feet. Tim, my physio, has saved my life. He is

:36:44. > :36:46.basically bandaging that back together. I have got in the event

:36:47. > :36:54.going in this foot. The nails are going well, though. Loving the

:36:55. > :37:02.nails! Yes, they are not working very well but... I was just saying,

:37:03. > :37:11.the heat is amazing, it is up to 35 degrees. It is very difficult to run

:37:12. > :37:16.in this heat. We are absolutely in awe off you. What are you thinking

:37:17. > :37:25.about when you run, is it particular projects? I am thinking about

:37:26. > :37:29.stopping, actually! So, every time I stop... Because I have no days off,

:37:30. > :37:34.this is the thing. I have already spent one day in hospital so that I

:37:35. > :37:37.actually have to do a double marathon on the Sunday. This is what

:37:38. > :37:44.is really tricky. I have done my 24th marathon, but it is on day 25.

:37:45. > :37:51.I am kind of thinking about that. That is going to be tricky. Eddie,

:37:52. > :38:05.it is so lovely to see you smiling. We wish you the very, very Asta. And

:38:06. > :38:10.keep going! Thank you! So, Eddie, we are now going to tell you how much

:38:11. > :38:24.you have raised. We can now reveal that the total so far is...

:38:25. > :38:36.Well done, Eddie! Thank you very much. You are finishing on Sunday,

:38:37. > :38:41.right? Yes, two marathons on Sunday. That has got to be worth a million,

:38:42. > :38:44.hasn't it?! Please keep supporting him.

:38:45. > :38:48.Please keep supporting him and keep donating

:38:49. > :38:54.And you can follow Eddie's incredible challenge every step

:38:55. > :38:58.So if Eddie's superhuman feats have inspired you,

:38:59. > :39:01.then you can't miss the Sport Relief Games Show

:39:02. > :39:04.at 1.15pm on Sunday on BBC One, where you can see Eddie

:39:05. > :39:17.Having said that, he is doing two that day, he might be a bit late.

:39:18. > :39:20.And you can still sign up to take part in the Sport Relief games right

:39:21. > :39:25.here in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on Sunday.

:39:26. > :39:37.Bake Off - here are some of the best bits.

:39:38. > :39:51.Welcome to the great Sport Relief Bake Off. No wonder it is Sport

:39:52. > :39:58.Relief, I am knackered! Eight bananas. Eight bananas? Out of all

:39:59. > :40:04.four of us, who do you reckon has got the best kitchen? Downing

:40:05. > :40:16.Street... ? One of the best kitchens this year.

:40:17. > :40:24.Thank you to everyone that took part.

:40:25. > :40:27.It is time now to find out how much the Great

:40:28. > :40:35.Sport Relief Bake Off has "self-raised".

:40:36. > :40:44.OK, we can now reveal that The Great Sport Relief Bake Off

:40:45. > :40:54.Thank you so much to all the Bake Off contestants

:40:55. > :41:01.and everyone who donated over the series.

:41:02. > :41:06.A few years ago, I went to Sierra Leone

:41:07. > :41:10.I saw some pretty terrible things there,

:41:11. > :41:14.and that was before Ebola struck that country.

:41:15. > :41:17.It has left a trail of devestation in its wake, as you'll see

:41:18. > :41:42.Hidden away in a remote part of Sierra Leone,

:41:43. > :41:45.is a village that has been decimated by the Ebola

:41:46. > :41:57.It was the adult population who buried the dead, with many of them

:41:58. > :42:03.then dying from Ebola themselves, themselves, leaving

:42:04. > :42:06.a once-thriving village desolate. In the shadow of empty houses,

:42:07. > :42:10.entire families have been wiped out. Traumatised and broken children,

:42:11. > :42:13.find themselves in the care of grandparents

:42:14. > :42:21.overwhelmed by grief. Or worse, some find

:42:22. > :42:23.themselves orphaned with no-one to care

:42:24. > :42:26.for them at all. No-one knew what was causing

:42:27. > :42:55.the sickness and it spread All over the village,

:42:56. > :43:16.children became carers. They saw things no child

:43:17. > :43:26.should ever have to see. As if witnessing the deaths

:43:27. > :43:29.of their mums and dads wasn't enough, when the horror

:43:30. > :43:34.of the epidemic passed, the stigma that remained has left

:43:35. > :43:38.them outcast from society. With these children at their most

:43:39. > :43:41.vulnerable, many of them There is a single project

:43:42. > :44:24.that is helping children here and it's funded

:44:25. > :44:32.by money raised by you. they provide essential

:44:33. > :44:36.bereavement counselling. And most importantly,

:44:37. > :44:40.they can show children like Aminarta please call... ... Or go online.

:44:41. > :44:57.Thank you. Well, it's just so hard

:44:58. > :45:00.to know what to say. If the worst happened

:45:01. > :45:08.and our children didn't have us, then hopefully there

:45:09. > :45:11.would be people to step in. Well, there would be,

:45:12. > :45:15.but because of Ebola, well, you've seen, there's

:45:16. > :45:22.no one apart from some grandparents,

:45:23. > :45:23.who are grieving themselves, Please help us to

:45:24. > :45:33.continue doing that. Here now with her beautiful

:45:34. > :45:42.song Wings is Birdy, and she has kindly asked that

:45:43. > :45:45.if you could, you phone and donate CHEERING AND

:45:46. > :49:21.APPLAUSE Thank you so much, Birdy,

:49:22. > :49:26.and thank you if you donated Time now for a big thank

:49:27. > :49:33.you to everyone involved in the epic Battle of the Five-A-Sides

:49:34. > :49:36.and in particular, Alan Shearer, Robbie Savage and

:49:37. > :49:40.the Premier League. If Jurgen Klopp is watching, just

:49:41. > :49:49.take a look at this goal I scored! The partnership between the Premier

:49:50. > :49:53.League and Sport Relief has been amazing since it began in 2002. It

:49:54. > :50:02.continues to go from strength to strength.

:50:03. > :50:09.COMMENTATOR: What a goal! Oh! What a screamer! The Premier League has

:50:10. > :50:15.organised an epic five-a-side match, the biggest ever. Myself and the one

:50:16. > :50:20.and only Allan Shearer are captains. You might see some of this later

:50:21. > :50:27.from the legend that is Alan Shearer. 57 hours nonstop, some of

:50:28. > :50:30.football's biggest names, celebrities and members of the

:50:31. > :50:33.public are taking their part in Sport Relief. It's a great effort

:50:34. > :50:37.from the Premier League, combining with the legends out there today.

:50:38. > :50:45.They've put their bodies on the line for Sport Relief. I'm feeling

:50:46. > :50:50.dreadful, I've got to admit. By the time the battle of the five-a-sides

:50:51. > :50:58.was over 228 teams and over 1100 players had taken part. Helped out

:50:59. > :51:03.by three heroes who played 12 hours of football nonstop, Danny, Josh and

:51:04. > :51:07.Rachel, we absolute them. The match was played through rain, sleet,

:51:08. > :51:11.snow, high winds and a moment of sunshine.

:51:12. > :51:16.COMMENTATOR: That's lovely. Team Shearer won and the Premier League

:51:17. > :51:20.turned every ?1 raised into a crisp fiver, the tollal over ?500,000. The

:51:21. > :51:23.money raised will fund crucial projects at home and across the

:51:24. > :51:27.world. One great project that the money goes to is the Premier

:51:28. > :51:32.League's Enterprise Progaem. -- programme. It helps young people

:51:33. > :51:36.learn about business and how to get a start in life, using Premier

:51:37. > :51:41.League clubs as the back drop. Clubs up and down the country have got

:51:42. > :51:46.behind this brilliant programme. The money raised has gone to help work

:51:47. > :51:50.with kids around the world, including project like Magic Bus in

:51:51. > :51:54.India. This project uses football as the catalyst for teaching young

:51:55. > :51:58.people life skills and building their confidence to help them find

:51:59. > :52:05.jobs. But it's not just India, there's great work being done in

:52:06. > :52:11.Zambia. This programme educates young women about being safe. In

:52:12. > :52:15.Brazil, they tackle social problems by providing school children with

:52:16. > :52:19.access to sport and education. These are just some examples of the

:52:20. > :52:22.fantastic work being done by the Premier League and Sport Relief

:52:23. > :52:26.around the world. So, we just want to say a massive thank you to the

:52:27. > :52:30.Premier League, the clubs, the players, and crucially, the fans for

:52:31. > :52:34.their incredible support. It makes such a dirns. Thanks.

:52:35. > :52:37.APPLAUSE I think some of them

:52:38. > :52:40.are still thawing out from that. OK, it's time to reveal

:52:41. > :52:59.the Premier League total. Thank you so, so much. That's

:53:00. > :53:05.wonderful. APPLAUSE Very well done. Back to you

:53:06. > :53:09.John. Earlier in the show we saw Danny

:53:10. > :53:15.talk about his experience when he went to Sierra Leone and he saw kids

:53:16. > :53:21.living on a dump sight. It was easy to see how moved Danny was. It's an

:53:22. > :53:27.overwhelming thing. Four years ago I went to Kenya. I saw exactly the

:53:28. > :53:32.same thing. I was moved the same way. But things do change. This film

:53:33. > :53:40.shows you what a difference can you make.

:53:41. > :53:46.Last time I came to Enya, I went to this dump -- came to Kenya, I went

:53:47. > :53:50.to this dump site in Nairobi. Ten-year-old Margaret had never

:53:51. > :53:53.lived anywhere else. Along with her grandmother, she spent every day

:53:54. > :54:01.searching through the rubbish to scrape together an existence. What's

:54:02. > :54:07.the best thing you've ever found. Rice, as food. Rice? Rice. That's

:54:08. > :54:16.the best thing you've ever found? Yeah. The best thing. Back then, it

:54:17. > :54:20.seemed there was no way out. Thanks to your generosity, their lives have

:54:21. > :54:30.changed beyond compare. I went back to Kenya to see the change for

:54:31. > :54:33.myself. Young Margaret is now going to school, where she's finally

:54:34. > :54:36.getting a good education and making friends. What's the best thing about

:54:37. > :54:47.going to school? It's great, that's brilliant. Your

:54:48. > :54:57.grandmother has a new house. Shall we go and see your grandma? Hello.

:54:58. > :55:06.Look at you! You look brilliant. Thank you very much. Now grandma

:55:07. > :55:12.Margaret has even started her own business. What do you sell? Is that

:55:13. > :55:18.for a phone? Yes, credit. 20 shillings. The difference between

:55:19. > :55:26.where they were then and where they are now, it's incredible. This is a

:55:27. > :55:30.very, very important photograph. It's all changed now.

:55:31. > :55:40.No more. No more days like this. No more. Life better. Let's look to the

:55:41. > :55:48.future. Yeah, thank you. I'm lappy. -- I'm happy. Thank you. I'm so glad

:55:49. > :55:53.we're able to help. You changed this sadness into joy. You changed the

:55:54. > :55:58.sorrow and loss into hope. That's what your donations do. You change

:55:59. > :56:03.lives. Your donations mean that we can help more families like this.

:56:04. > :56:19.Please give what you can. Thank you.

:56:20. > :56:25.We can't take everyone to the dump sites. I know if you went and saw

:56:26. > :56:29.and smelt and felt what me and Danny have done, you'd be as moved as we

:56:30. > :56:33.were. You can't see it and just walk away. We can't take you there, but

:56:34. > :56:39.we can show you it and we can show you the difference that you can make

:56:40. > :56:46.right now. In a place like Kenya it costs ?150 to send young Margaret to

:56:47. > :56:50.school for a year. That's changed her life ?150 - and I promise that

:56:51. > :57:05.your money will make a massive difference. Thank you

:57:06. > :57:14.Let's take a moment to thank our volunteers who are answering the

:57:15. > :57:17.phones. Still to come, a clash of the tightan encounter and the

:57:18. > :57:22.unmissable return of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. I know it's your

:57:23. > :57:31.favourite. She's been holding me like this all day. Don't say

:57:32. > :57:37.anything that rhymes with Crawford. We have music from James Bay! Yeah,

:57:38. > :57:45.yeah. But before all of that, it is time for crime. Now, we all know

:57:46. > :57:53.detective John luger is a twisted and tormented soul. And he's

:57:54. > :57:58.extremely hot! But, yeah. They're like, oh, yeah. Have you ever

:57:59. > :58:03.thought about his life off duty? I mean does he see his mum. Does he

:58:04. > :58:11.even have a family? Does he have a resident's parking permit? It's my

:58:12. > :58:18.first question. Let's find out as we meet the Luthers.

:58:19. > :58:22.MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

:58:23. > :58:31.Well, look, I'll... Hold on. No, hold on, I've got a call.

:58:32. > :58:39.Yeah, I know, I know, Cousin Adam's running in a 100m, yeah.

:58:40. > :58:48.No, no, no, I'll be there in like a minute!

:58:49. > :58:59.I promise, yeah. Like in a minute, all right?

:59:00. > :59:06.I've got to go somewhere. I'll be there in a minute.

:59:07. > :59:08.What do you mean, how long's a minute?

:59:09. > :59:31.I am a detective. I'm trained to see that sort of stuff.

:59:32. > :59:43.Feet cut off, possibly to prevent identification.

:59:44. > :59:50.Every time I come home you do this. What's going on, John, bruv?

:59:51. > :59:52.Well, technically, you're right, it has been murdered.

:59:53. > :59:54.Not only that, its feathers have been pulled,

:59:55. > :59:56.trussed up with an elastic band. Looks like

:59:57. > :59:59.some kind of fetish killing. Exactly what I was thinking.

:00:00. > :00:02.Where did you find it, fam? It was at a supermarket, all right?

:00:03. > :00:06.Mate, it was in the free-range section. I just took it home.

:00:07. > :00:11.you never remove the body from the scene of the crime

:00:12. > :00:19.What are you doing? Everybody knows that!

:00:20. > :00:23.Yeah. He, er...looks like between a bantamweight and a featherweight.

:00:24. > :00:26.You know, good muscle tone, good core stability -

:00:27. > :00:29.must have been doing his plank work, and knocked out in the 10th round.

:00:30. > :00:36.No, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

:00:37. > :00:39.Why are you telling Mummy? Don't tell Mummy nothing.

:00:40. > :00:41.I've been backing you for the longest time, bruv.

:00:42. > :00:44.You can't keep bringing murdered tings into the house!

:00:45. > :00:54.Don't move it! He's moving it again! What's the matter with him?

:00:55. > :00:57.On your head, mate. Do you want to start on this, yeah?

:00:58. > :01:04.Look, you cut off the feet, it's got no feet.

:01:05. > :01:06.How's it going to pass the ball round the midfield?

:01:07. > :01:11.Would someone please COOK THE CHICKEN?!

:01:12. > :01:18.What you going mad for, bruv? What's wrong with you?

:01:19. > :01:25.Is this true? Did you bring the body of a homicide victim into my house?

:01:26. > :01:27.Mummy, there's a misunderstanding here.

:01:28. > :01:35.I was just thinking, put an onion up its bum and stick it in the oven!

:01:36. > :01:42.Out, she's out of here, that's it. Done.

:01:43. > :02:00.Sometimes it's hard to tell, you do that thing with your eyes.

:02:01. > :02:05.What thing? Like you just smelled a fart.

:02:06. > :02:15.Someone else killed it, I don't know who.

:02:16. > :02:20.People kill chickens for other people, it's a business.

:02:21. > :02:25.But that don't make it right, do it, John?

:02:26. > :02:28.Your prints are all over it. Of course my prints are all over it!

:02:29. > :02:32.Because I picked it up to see how big it was for all of us.

:02:33. > :02:34.Mummy, what is the problem? It's just a chicken!

:02:35. > :02:36.It might just be a chicken to you, bruv,

:02:37. > :02:38.but it's someone's fam, someone's cuz, someone's bruv.

:02:39. > :02:43.Look, I did not kill the chicken, it was dead when I bought it.

:02:44. > :02:46.100m is on in a minute. Cousin Adam's running!

:02:47. > :02:49.OK, OK, good. Oh, come on, Mum, he ain't never going to win.

:02:50. > :02:51.Usain is in the line-up. Lewis, stop showing off

:02:52. > :02:53.and put on some clothes! I ain't showing off!

:02:54. > :03:01.Hey, who needs a tie when you've got abs like mine, mate?

:03:02. > :03:20.driven by deep-seated feelings of jealousy

:03:21. > :03:23.who just want to destroy both you and your reputation?

:03:24. > :03:43.while still having time for the odd casual fling.

:03:44. > :03:45.Alice, you're not being fair, all right?

:03:46. > :04:03.WHISPERS: It's all right, it's all right.

:04:04. > :04:06.Look, I've got to go. My cousin's running the 100m against Usain Bolt.

:04:07. > :04:16.Look, John, bruv, we can work this out.

:04:17. > :04:19.I mean, we got off on the wrong foot, that's all, cuz!

:04:20. > :04:25.Yeah, I mean, murder, torture, evidence, guilt, justice -

:04:26. > :04:36.As long as you still love your mother, eh?

:04:37. > :04:51.COMMENTATOR: Only five British men have gone under ten seconds...

:04:52. > :04:59.Well, the latest news on the Olympic 100m heats

:05:00. > :05:01.is that Usain Bolt has mysteriously disappeared

:05:02. > :05:22.You're no champion if you don't beat me.

:05:23. > :05:27.All right. Let's get rid of the evidence.

:05:28. > :05:53.MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

:05:54. > :06:05.Great to get him, but then again, I suppose he only has to work

:06:06. > :06:09.for 9.75 seconds every four years, so he's got time on his hands.

:06:10. > :06:22.You look like a new Addington bear. I am not taking it off!

:06:23. > :06:25.It's thank you time again - to the wonderful people at British

:06:26. > :06:39.England cricket hero Michael Vaughan shared the love.

:06:40. > :06:45.We have been bowled over by the amazing work BA staff and customers

:06:46. > :06:49.have done for Sport Relief this year. They have been fundraising for

:06:50. > :06:55.12 months. The least I could do was give them a tour of my second home.

:06:56. > :06:58.These guys are part of the engineering team which has done a

:06:59. > :07:05.cycle around Brighton, raising more than ?7,000. This is the Heathrow

:07:06. > :07:09.customer service team, which raised over ?43,000. They have been stood

:07:10. > :07:14.out here for an hour in the pouring rain. This lot crossed 13 bridges

:07:15. > :07:20.along the River Thames, raising more than ?3000. That is not all. All you

:07:21. > :07:23.amazing customers and staff have been slogging away, raising an

:07:24. > :07:28.incredible amount of money for Sport Relief. All of the staff at BA, and

:07:29. > :07:29.all of you lot off on your holidays, we could not have done it without

:07:30. > :07:34.you. Let's have a look at how

:07:35. > :08:03.much they've raised. It is a massive...! Well done,

:08:04. > :08:07.British Airways! Thank you so much, that is the most amazing amount.

:08:08. > :08:10.Still to come, more from Clash of the Titans, music from James Bay

:08:11. > :08:13.and the exclusive that is Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

:08:14. > :08:18.This year Sport Relief has launched a brilliant

:08:19. > :08:23.Together, we will be working with them over the next five years

:08:24. > :08:27.to help fight malaria and improve health.

:08:28. > :08:34.Tonight, GSK will be donating a fantastic ?3 million.

:08:35. > :08:38.With your support, we've already made a huge difference in the fight

:08:39. > :08:41.against malaria, but there is so much more to do.

:08:42. > :08:48.Malaria still kills a child every two minutes, but with your help,

:08:49. > :09:14.This is the intensive care unit of this hospital in Uganda. Caroline

:09:15. > :09:19.has come here with her daughter. Her daughter is just three months old.

:09:20. > :09:26.She is struggling to breathe. Caroline has just been told that her

:09:27. > :09:39.daughter has malaria. And she not the only one. Most of the children

:09:40. > :09:42.on this ward also have malaria. As daylight fades, all Caroline and the

:09:43. > :10:09.other mothers can do is hope. Overnight, Caroline stays by

:10:10. > :10:17.Prossie's side. But by morning, Prossie's condition has worsened.

:10:18. > :10:26.She is slipping in and out of consciousness. And is painfully

:10:27. > :10:34.weak. With resources so stretched, it is up to Caroline to feed her

:10:35. > :10:39.daughter through a tube. Prossie is now sharing her bed with another

:10:40. > :10:48.baby. Little Patricia has just been brought in. She has severe malaria,

:10:49. > :11:02.too. And her mother also has to do what she can to help. Two mothers,

:11:03. > :11:08.two babies. Both fighting for life. Suddenly, Patricia isn't breathing.

:11:09. > :11:53.The doctor can't find a heartbeat. Medical staff are hopeful Prossie

:11:54. > :11:57.has turned a corner. But there is still a long way to go. Malaria is a

:11:58. > :12:01.preventable and curable disease if caught in time. We urgently need

:12:02. > :12:16.your donations tonight. Please call... Or go to...

:12:17. > :12:22.I have been to a malaria clinics, and you never forget it. Since we

:12:23. > :12:25.have run that film, two children have died of malaria.

:12:26. > :12:29.A fiver could save two children's lives.

:12:30. > :12:31.You can use your phone to save lives.

:12:32. > :12:33.You can use your laptop to save lives.

:12:34. > :12:35.I know we keep asking, but these children keep dying.

:12:36. > :12:47.Standard geographic charges from landlines

:12:48. > :12:57.But what mostly applies is your love reaching out.

:12:58. > :13:00.Clash of the Titans now, and it's Team Rhythmic Gymnastics.

:13:01. > :13:08.I just can't get enough of that lycra.

:13:09. > :13:13.John, you're a dab hand with the ribbon, aren't you?

:13:14. > :13:21.We have, in the Redgrave corner, Kate Garraway, Omid Djalili,

:13:22. > :13:31.And in the Flintoff corner, Darren Gough, Maddy Hill

:13:32. > :13:32.and the captain himself, Freddie Flintoff.

:13:33. > :13:44.We will grab a word with these two in a minute, because they are

:13:45. > :13:48.getting ready for the team triathlon. Let's remind you of the

:13:49. > :13:57.team standings at the moment. It is looking good for Team Flintoff. Team

:13:58. > :14:02.Redgrave just behind. Sophie, your team, in control. They are all

:14:03. > :14:06.happy, they look like they are smiling. What is the feeling like in

:14:07. > :14:12.the red team? Well, it is quite close, isn't it? Freddie is very

:14:13. > :14:17.cool, calm, confident. But he is a bit take it or leave it. But when he

:14:18. > :14:22.got out on the track, that last lap, you can see that just determined

:14:23. > :14:26.that we should win. And Clara, your team is struggling at the moment.

:14:27. > :14:32.This lot think you are mentally frail. First things first, I would

:14:33. > :14:37.not call it struggling. We are only one point behind and I think we are

:14:38. > :14:47.mentally strong, aren't we?! So, yes. We have got this! Who is ready

:14:48. > :14:51.for another event? Let's do this. This is couple interesting one. It

:14:52. > :14:58.requires athleticism, it requires sporting prowess. And you have got

:14:59. > :15:01.to be good with your hands. Is is big, this is rhythmic gymnastics.

:15:02. > :15:06.Good job I am not taking part, I nearly fell over! And the selection

:15:07. > :15:13.process was brutal. Let's see who is going to come out. Rhythmic

:15:14. > :15:17.gymnastics is the ultimate test of strength, coordination, and most

:15:18. > :15:21.importantly, teamwork. As captain I am giving myself the ribbon. This is

:15:22. > :15:26.an event I want to win. It tests everything about you. Coming from

:15:27. > :15:31.EastEnders, obviously, I am going to put quite a bit of drama into this

:15:32. > :15:35.performance. Watch this space. I have always been good with a ball.

:15:36. > :15:41.So the ball is my weapon. Let's get it on, Redgrave. Sir Steve Redgrave

:15:42. > :15:48.has assembled a pool in the squad of the very best in gymnastics. Hooping

:15:49. > :15:54.is my life, I was hooping champion when I was seven years old. A lot of

:15:55. > :15:56.people like to think of me as a UK Beyonce, with a ribbon. This is

:15:57. > :16:14.serious. It is rhythmic gymnastics! I've seen the rehearsal. I can

:16:15. > :16:18.assure you, you're about to see things you will never see again.

:16:19. > :16:23.Whether you'd like to see them again is something completely separate.

:16:24. > :16:28.Guiding us through this event, let's hand to our commentary team,

:16:29. > :16:33.Christine and Craig. We are at the top of the velodrome and ready to

:16:34. > :16:37.see a gymnastic competition like nothing else. Gymnastic fans, forget

:16:38. > :16:39.the Olympic Games. The action is right here. The competition is

:16:40. > :17:01.hotting up. Let's look at the teams. We have a team of professional

:17:02. > :17:08.judges to assess the teams. They will score each team out of ten.

:17:09. > :17:11.There's three judges, so the teams are looking for a maximum of 30

:17:12. > :17:17.marks. Back to you Dan for the action.

:17:18. > :17:23.Let's bring out the first team then, go wild for Team Flintoff!

:17:24. > :17:31.# Live and let die # Darren Gough, Maddy Hill and the

:17:32. > :17:36.captain, Freddie Flintoff! There we can see Darren with the ball looking

:17:37. > :17:39.confident. Maddy has the hoop and the team captain, interesting,

:17:40. > :17:55.Freddie Flintoff, taking the ribbon onto the floor.

:17:56. > :18:08.They move straight to their positions, salute to the judges.

:18:09. > :18:18.# So important to interpret the music here.

:18:19. > :18:23.# Turn around # Plenty of drama sewn into the

:18:24. > :18:29.performance. Good tumbling skills and look at the control with the

:18:30. > :18:35.ball. Have to show mastery with the apparatus. That he does. Loads of

:18:36. > :18:48.expression and a bit of skill as well. The hoop has to keep moving at

:18:49. > :18:57.all times. The gymnast has to be at one with this apparatus. She's

:18:58. > :19:01.really telling the story and how about this - elegance personified,

:19:02. > :19:11.selling the routine with his face. Wow! Bit of artistic gymnastics as

:19:12. > :19:14.well, head spring. You have to keep the apparatus moving all the time.

:19:15. > :19:24.So important to finish in time with the music. And with the apparatus.

:19:25. > :19:29.Are they going to make it? Just about.

:19:30. > :19:46.CHEERING That was some special performance.

:19:47. > :19:49.Look at that bromance there, the concentration, such a flamboyant

:19:50. > :19:55.routine there. Slightly concerned about the fluidity of the routine.

:19:56. > :20:01.Superb control of the hoop there and then you can see such ball control.

:20:02. > :20:11.This is the difficult part. Look at the catch. Highest difficulty. Bit

:20:12. > :20:16.of acrobatic skills. Not normally something you'd want to see in slow

:20:17. > :20:20.mo. Look at the tears here. That was an emotional performance. Very

:20:21. > :20:25.emotional. I hope that transmitted to the judgeds. I put my heart,

:20:26. > :20:28.soul, everything into that. It's probably difficult for you to talk,

:20:29. > :20:32.isn't it? Yeah, it is. Let's move on. You know all about selling a

:20:33. > :20:38.story. What a story. What a love story that was. It was a story of

:20:39. > :20:44.unrequited love. I'm still not quite over it. We're all on the brink of

:20:45. > :20:48.tears at the moment. What do you think Bonnie Tyler would have made

:20:49. > :20:53.this afternoon? Proper love story. I haven't seen Fred for a few years,

:20:54. > :21:17.so it was the perfect song. The scores are in:

:21:18. > :21:26.The red team are unhappy with the eight. What a performance, 26 Mr

:21:27. > :21:31.Flintoff. It is out of ten isn't it? Yes, it is! We're happy with that.

:21:32. > :21:36.That judge on the end knows nowt. Who's she? Is she a last minute

:21:37. > :21:40.replacement. I will not be giving you her name. That is enough from

:21:41. > :21:54.you. Shall we get our second team out. Here we go. It's Team Redgrave!

:21:55. > :22:02.Tameka Empson, Omid Djalili and Kate Garraway. Kate with the ball, Omid

:22:03. > :22:06.with the hoop and Tameka, we expect something special with the ribbon

:22:07. > :22:15.there. They've a lot to do. 26 is the target to beat.

:22:16. > :22:24.Resplendent in blue, so elegant in their presentation to the judges.

:22:25. > :22:34.Very carefully choreographed start here.

:22:35. > :22:43.Have to make sure there's no knots. Expressive from the start.

:22:44. > :22:48.Synchronisation. # Her name was lola, she was a show

:22:49. > :22:53.girl # Beautiful foot work, right on the

:22:54. > :23:01.toes. Keeping the ribbon working all the time. Real expressive

:23:02. > :23:14.performance here. Oh, fantastic splits! Great work with the hoop.

:23:15. > :23:22.Keep it moving all the time. Boomerang, wow! How ambitious is

:23:23. > :23:39.that. Fantastic work! The elegance of the ball. Lovely ball etic work.

:23:40. > :23:42.-- balletic work. Secure handling. Good transfer from gymnast to

:23:43. > :23:55.gymnast. They just need a big finish now.

:23:56. > :23:59.Here it comes! Whoa, what style! What a very dramatic and original

:24:00. > :24:03.performance there. Stacked with difficulty and full of originality

:24:04. > :24:07.from start to finish. Even a bit of comedy thrown in there.

:24:08. > :24:15.Just look at this, the control there. Showing great confidence in

:24:16. > :24:24.the dance move. This, for me, was superb control. Very difficult to

:24:25. > :24:32.control the ribbon. Up and down. And just watch this for something

:24:33. > :24:37.different. The blue team absolutely loved that. You were at one with the

:24:38. > :24:41.hoop. They say you play the Olympic velodrome twice in your career, once

:24:42. > :24:49.on the way up, once on the way down. It's great to be back. You let the

:24:50. > :24:53.ribbon live out there. That was the mantra of the day - let the ribbon

:24:54. > :24:58.live. I'm glad you at home enjoyed that as well. Praise God. Have you

:24:59. > :25:01.done enough to win? I think more than enough, don't you? Let's find

:25:02. > :25:13.out from the judges. The scores are in:

:25:14. > :25:28.Not another one is it? It's a ten! Seven to win.

:25:29. > :25:39.Is it going to be a full house. It's a ten! A full house. The blue team

:25:40. > :25:43.celebrates and team Redgrave are going bananas. Let's get

:25:44. > :25:48.confirmation of what happened out there on the floor.

:25:49. > :25:57.What a sensational result for team Redgrave. Maximum score, giving them

:25:58. > :26:01.two points. Unfortunately a 26, team Flintoff settle for one. Dan, back

:26:02. > :26:07.to you. We have got freestyle wrestling on

:26:08. > :26:08.the way. Harry Judd will take on Paddy McGuinness, do not go

:26:09. > :26:24.anywhere! Team Flintoff has six points, team

:26:25. > :26:28.Redgrave also has six points. It's down to the wire for the fourth

:26:29. > :26:31.event, the one we've all been waiting for, wrestling.

:26:32. > :26:33.More from the VeloPark later on BBC Two,

:26:34. > :26:36.when we'll see mankind's finest specimens Harry Judd

:26:37. > :26:47.Two men all muscular and sweaty, writhing around together

:26:48. > :27:07.CHEERING Who's want to see that? Both of us and everybody else.

:27:08. > :27:09.OK, now, Sainsbury's has been selling all the official

:27:10. > :27:11.Sport Relief merchandise, and everyone has been fundraising

:27:12. > :27:16.So, former world champion hurdler and Wales's finest Colin Jackson

:27:17. > :27:30.The last few seconds before a race feels like an eternity. All that

:27:31. > :27:37.dedication and hard work comes down to this moment, millimetres can

:27:38. > :27:40.separate gold and silver. Since the start of Sport Relief, Sainsbury's

:27:41. > :27:46.has been a huge contender in the race to raise as much money as they

:27:47. > :27:51.can for Sport Relief. People from stores all across the country have

:27:52. > :27:55.been doing their bit to raise cash. Their staff have put on a

:27:56. > :27:58.magnificent display by taking part in events up and down the country,

:27:59. > :28:03.which has added to the huge Sport Relief total. They are also

:28:04. > :28:07.supporting the Sport Relief Games bringing the entire nation together

:28:08. > :28:13.to get active and raise huge amounts of cash. Down the home straight,

:28:14. > :28:18.this is where all the hard work and preparation pays off allowing you,

:28:19. > :28:24.the amazing customers, to fill your baskets with the official Sport

:28:25. > :28:29.Relief merchandise - T-shirts, wristbands, pin badges, sweat bands

:28:30. > :28:35.and these little guys. Money raised from these items have had a massive

:28:36. > :28:39.impact across the globe. So, to all the wonderful people who work at

:28:40. > :28:48.Sainsbury's and their fantastic customers, there's only one thing

:28:49. > :28:50.left to say - thank you! Thank you so much Colin.

:28:51. > :28:52.We love you Sainsbury's. Let's have a look at how

:28:53. > :29:18.much they have raised. Honestly, thank you. I don't mind

:29:19. > :29:24.paying for me plastic bags now. That is amazing.

:29:25. > :29:25.You have all been at it. The country has gone Sport Relief mad. It's

:29:26. > :29:31.brilliant. Thank you. When Ebola hit Sierra Leone,

:29:32. > :29:33.parents were scared to take their children to hospital

:29:34. > :29:36.in case they caught it. One of the outcomes of that terrible

:29:37. > :29:38.situation was that cases of malnutrition increased,

:29:39. > :29:41.and many children died of it. The Ebola crisis is over,

:29:42. > :29:44.but sadly malnutrition The film you're about

:29:45. > :29:54.to see is upsetting. People in Sierra Leone have faced

:29:55. > :30:14.an unimaginable year in which Ebola But the truth is, ten

:30:15. > :30:21.times that number of children under five die every

:30:22. > :30:24.year from other causes. One of the most easily

:30:25. > :30:40.preventable is malnutrition. This is the malnutrition ward

:30:41. > :30:42.in the only children's hospital One-year-old Edward and his mum

:30:43. > :30:52.arrived two days ago. As well as being severely

:30:53. > :30:59.malnourished, Edward is extremely dehydrated and needs

:31:00. > :31:03.to take on fluids. But his little body is so weak,

:31:04. > :31:11.everything is a struggle. Malnutrition is not only a

:31:12. > :31:14.preventable, but also a treatable But that relies on getting a sick

:31:15. > :31:25.child to hospital in time. Like so many other children here,

:31:26. > :31:33.Emmanuel's condition is a severe, because his mum could not

:31:34. > :31:52.get him to hospital sooner. And it made the health problems in

:31:53. > :32:11.Sierra Leone so much worse. But even before Ebola,

:32:12. > :32:15.far too often, children were arriving at hospital

:32:16. > :32:18.already dangerously ill. Already weakened by a lack

:32:19. > :32:26.of nutrients, he also has pneumonia. For Edward and his mum,

:32:27. > :32:54.life is extremely tough. Their reality, as for so many,

:32:55. > :32:59.is an endless cycle Ultimately, this is the main cause

:33:00. > :33:05.of malnutrition in under-fives. Through Sport Relief,

:33:06. > :33:11.your money can educate parents on the importance of

:33:12. > :33:14.getting to hospital And give these children

:33:15. > :34:04.the chance they Please call... Or go online. Thank

:34:05. > :34:08.you. It is awful. Malnutrition. It feels so helpless.

:34:09. > :34:12.But what you can do is help to make sure mothers spot the warning signs

:34:13. > :34:14.and get to hospital before it is too late.

:34:15. > :34:17.Your donations can help us get the right nutrients to children

:34:18. > :34:19.Edward's death could have been prevented.

:34:20. > :34:25.Please, please help us to help others before it is too late

:34:26. > :34:45.The moment we've all been waiting for -

:34:46. > :34:48.the return of one of Britain's best-loved comedy characters.

:34:49. > :34:53.Last time this was on TV was 1978 - Rod Stewart was number one,

:34:54. > :35:01.Liverpool had recently won yet another European Cup, and Davina...

:35:02. > :35:13.Well, Davina was 23. Betty! Actually, that was good.

:35:14. > :35:19.None of this will be making much sense to the youngsters -

:35:20. > :35:23.by which I mean people under 35 - but believe me this guy was Miranda,

:35:24. > :35:26.Mr Bean and Mrs Brown all rolled into one hilarious man in a beret.

:35:27. > :35:28.Kids, parents, and grandparents, don't try this at home,

:35:29. > :35:31.but if you do, get sponsored for Sport Relief.

:35:32. > :36:05.It is time for Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em!

:36:06. > :36:16.I had better pull over. I do not want to have an accident. Hello?

:36:17. > :36:23.This is Mr Fresco and is speaking. I am he. Who may I ask is calling? It

:36:24. > :36:31.is me, Betty, your wife. You know it is me, it says my name. Oh, yes,! Am

:36:32. > :36:37.I up your end as well? Where are you? You were such post to be here

:36:38. > :36:43.half an hour ago. You're going to miss our daughter's big race. Don't

:36:44. > :36:49.worry, I will be there. I have just got to pop in and get Jessica some

:36:50. > :36:54.flowers. Oh, be quick. Don't fluster me, Betty. You know how flustered I

:36:55. > :36:59.get lately, what with me going through the change. Men don't go

:37:00. > :37:04.through the change, Frank. Well how else would you explain my recent

:37:05. > :37:06.erotic behaviour? I think you mean erratic, Frank. They will you please

:37:07. > :37:34.just hurry up? Stop! Stop! Betty! Help! Get out the

:37:35. > :37:41.way! I can't stop! Get out the way! The brakes don't work!

:37:42. > :37:58.You have ruined my car. You idiot! Excuse me, young man. An angry

:37:59. > :38:02.motorist is a bad motorist. You clearly have not been driving very

:38:03. > :38:06.long, or will she would have more consideration for a man on a

:38:07. > :38:11.bicycle. What are you doing on the roof of a car, on a bicycle? Well,

:38:12. > :38:17.if they had a proper cycle lane, I would not be up here! Your windbag

:38:18. > :38:22.has just gone off. Do you know how much this car is worth? Well, this

:38:23. > :38:29.one was not cheap. It is in better condition, too. Are you serious?

:38:30. > :38:33.Indeed I were. And might I suggest that you take your driving a bit

:38:34. > :38:36.more seriously in future. I am guessing you do not know what I do

:38:37. > :38:45.for a living. You may have a new car and fancy yourself as king of the

:38:46. > :38:49.road, but you are no Jenson Mutton. As my mother always said, Mira,

:38:50. > :38:55.signal, manoeuvre. You know it is a must. If you can't drive without a

:38:56. > :39:07.fuss, then give up your car, and get on a bus.

:39:08. > :39:14.# I want to ride my bicycle... Oh! Unbelievable! I know! My daughter is

:39:15. > :39:20.in one of those races. That is where I am going now. No, you can't ride

:39:21. > :39:26.that in here. Well, it wasn't easy. You should get a ramp put in. How

:39:27. > :39:42.much are these? 4.90 nine. Thank you. Don't worry, keep the change!

:39:43. > :40:00.Jessica! Me? Not you! Sorry. Jessica Spencer!

:40:01. > :40:12.Oh, what am I like? Hi, mum. Where is dad? He is not here. But I'm sure

:40:13. > :40:14.he get here one way or another. Well, I had better get warmed up.

:40:15. > :40:36.Yes. Good luck, Jessica! Bye! Excuse me, madam... Would it be

:40:37. > :40:40.possible to borrow your helmet? In the interests of health and safety,

:40:41. > :40:49.I am concerned about my cranium. Thank you. I promise I will get it

:40:50. > :40:56.back to you. Do you live locally? Do you have a place of work? Have you

:40:57. > :41:03.just arrived in our country? I work in London. Oh, good. Then you have

:41:04. > :41:17.not got far to go. You hardly need a bike! I am Boris Johnson. Have you

:41:18. > :41:22.heard of me? Oh! No. But it does ring a tinkle. I am going through

:41:23. > :41:26.the change, though. It has been nice chatting, but I moustache. As my

:41:27. > :41:28.mother always said... I have forgotten that, too. But I am sure

:41:29. > :41:47.she was right! Goodbye, Doris! So, if you will just tell Ringo, I

:41:48. > :41:56.won't be able to get there. Sorry! Bloody kids! Watch out! Can you

:41:57. > :42:05.believe that? I can't comment, I didn't see it. First, i.e., David

:42:06. > :42:10.Walliams, swam the channel. Then I swam the Thames. That is why it is a

:42:11. > :42:11.great honour for me to unveil this statue of myself. Thank you very

:42:12. > :42:52.much. Betty! Help! Hello? This is Mr

:42:53. > :43:00.Fresco Spencer speaking. Who may I ask is calling? Frank, where are

:43:01. > :43:08.you? I don't know, I have had a bit of trouble, Betty. All the signs are

:43:09. > :43:16.upside down. I think I might be in France, Betty. Frank the race starts

:43:17. > :43:23.in one minute. You have to get your skates on. Excuse me!

:43:24. > :43:44.# Keep on running... Here we go again!

:43:45. > :43:54.I've got some change this time. Congratulations, by the way.

:43:55. > :44:01.Congratulations, Jessica! Great race! I did not win. They should

:44:02. > :44:07.have told me which way round to go. The important thing is, you

:44:08. > :44:14.realised. Yes. And it only took me three laps. What am I like?! Dad

:44:15. > :44:18.didn't make it, then. No, sorry, love. But I am sure he did his best

:44:19. > :44:36.to get here on time. We are nearing the end of this world

:44:37. > :44:39.record attempt from Sir Bradley Wiggins. And it is truly

:44:40. > :44:46.unbelievable from him. He is absolutely flying. If he can keep

:44:47. > :44:51.this up, the record is on. Just three laps away from the record, Sir

:44:52. > :45:10.Bradley is going to break it yet again! What on earth is going on

:45:11. > :45:12.here? What is he like? Somehow, despite the unscheduled

:45:13. > :45:14.interruption, Sir Brad is still on for the record. One lap to go, he is

:45:15. > :45:29.almost there. Get off! Hello, Mr Wiggins, sir. I have never

:45:30. > :45:37.seen anything like it! COMMENTATOR: How is he holding on?!

:45:38. > :45:42.Have you seen Jessica Spencer? Who? No, I haven't. Have you seen Betty

:45:43. > :45:48.Spencer, then? No, I haven't, get off! I think I am having a hot

:45:49. > :45:54.flush. I will give you a bloody hot flush, get off! Here they are!

:45:55. > :46:12.COMMENTATOR: Truly unbelievable! New balls, please. Excuse me, I am a

:46:13. > :46:23.married man! COMMENTATOR: What is happening

:46:24. > :46:25.here?! Out the way! That is an absolute disaster for Bradley

:46:26. > :46:31.Wiggins... Coach David Brailsford has got to be fuming. I have never

:46:32. > :46:37.seen anything like this before. I am in shock.

:46:38. > :46:42.Jessica I'm so sorry I missed your race. It's OK, dad. It's just a

:46:43. > :46:47.shame you didn't hear everyone shouting my name. I'm so proud.

:46:48. > :46:52.Although I always think, if you haven't got anything nice to say,

:46:53. > :47:02.you shouldn't say anything at Autumn I bought you a present. I left it

:47:03. > :47:06.with Mr Wiggins. Mr Wiggins! Why are we stopping here? Because I really

:47:07. > :47:19.need to get to the hospital. Sorry there's another incidents. Thank

:47:20. > :47:27.you, Mr Wiggins. Oh, no. Take him away.

:47:28. > :47:36.All things considered, I think it's been a really lovely day. Not for

:47:37. > :47:40.Bradley Wiggins. I'm sorry I didn't win, dad. I just wanted you to be

:47:41. > :47:49.proud of me. We're always proud of you. Even when I done a whoopcy on

:47:50. > :47:55.the carpet. Did you? I don't remember that. Mind you, I'm going

:47:56. > :48:05.through the change. I keep forgetting what I forgotten. Oh,

:48:06. > :48:23.Frank. Oh, look! There's Doris: Hello again.

:48:24. > :48:27.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:48:28. > :48:35.Thanks to everyone who took part in that truly special sketch.

:48:36. > :48:38.You can see the full version of behind the scenes shortly

:48:39. > :48:42.Plus, we'll be joined by Michael Crawford,

:48:43. > :48:45.who will be here in person, on this very stage, when we switch

:48:46. > :48:55.We're staggered by the support you've shown us tonight. You have

:48:56. > :49:00.the power to change lives. I know some of the films we show you is

:49:01. > :49:02.upsetting. This one certainly is. But we need to show you what we need

:49:03. > :49:09.to change. We need to change this. Malaria, that's not a problem

:49:10. > :49:17.we have to deal with at home. And it's getting

:49:18. > :49:25.better, slightly, but In Africa, malaria claims the life

:49:26. > :49:40.of a child every two minutes. The simplest way to prevent this

:49:41. > :49:43.happening is for children to sleep And yet in Sierra Leone,

:49:44. > :49:49.less than half of children under It is not good to see babies coming

:49:50. > :50:08.here with these cases. Some, when they come,

:50:09. > :50:11.they are very sick, really sick. It is like - malaria,

:50:12. > :50:28.severe malaria, severe malaria, severe malaria,

:50:29. > :50:32.severe malaria. Day after day, week

:50:33. > :50:44.after week, month after month, this will keep going on,

:50:45. > :50:53.year after year after year. Seven-month-old Mariatu has been

:50:54. > :50:57.brought in by her mum. For a baby this young,

:50:58. > :51:05.contracting this terrible Once malaria has

:51:06. > :51:11.taken hold, there are And she has developed painful

:51:12. > :51:23.ulcers in her mouth. It means she is unable

:51:24. > :51:27.to breast-feed and has become But the sores in her mouth

:51:28. > :51:40.make it hard for little Without food, she is

:51:41. > :51:48.becoming weaker and weaker. For so many of the mothers in this

:51:49. > :51:51.ward, the reason why they are here at all

:51:52. > :51:56.is simply down to poverty. With barely enough money for food,

:51:57. > :52:08.for Mariatu, it means there was no Malaria is still one of the biggest

:52:09. > :52:17.causes of death in children under And yet every day,

:52:18. > :52:28.these beds fill up with With every breath, this little girl

:52:29. > :52:47.is fighting for her life. And with every moment

:52:48. > :52:50.that passes, all her A fiver for two nets,

:52:51. > :53:29.that's all it is. Don't be the one that

:53:30. > :53:34.don't make the call. All you've got to do

:53:35. > :53:40.is pick up that blower. Please, honestly, it is

:53:41. > :53:57.the right thing to do. I'm meant to say a few words here,

:53:58. > :53:59.but that says it all. Just please, this is real life. Just do whatever

:54:00. > :54:04.you can. Thank you, Danny. Here with the official

:54:05. > :54:07.Sport Relief single Running, # When you go,

:54:08. > :54:47.to turn down the light # No-one's here to

:54:48. > :54:50.hold you in the night # When you think you're

:54:51. > :55:08.on your own # When our picture

:55:09. > :55:23.fades in the sun # And all the colors blur

:55:24. > :55:28.into one # When you think you're

:55:29. > :55:50.on your own # Only stars are guiding me

:55:51. > :57:01.back # When you think you're

:57:02. > :57:22.on your own # When you think you're

:57:23. > :57:36.on your own CHEERING AND

:57:37. > :57:56.APPLAUSE It's almost time for us

:57:57. > :58:03.to switch over to BBC Two, where you can see the brilliant

:58:04. > :58:05.Smithy, and Michael Crawford And we have the huge

:58:06. > :58:18.wrestling spectacular - You've been donating like crazy

:58:19. > :58:23.tonight. We are so grateful. Let's find out how much has been raised so

:58:24. > :58:24.far tonight. The total raised so far tonight

:58:25. > :58:33.is... A staggering... Picture of the

:58:34. > :59:00.velodrome... That is amazing! Thank you. Thank

:59:01. > :59:04.you. Thank you for your incredible generous donations. Thank you so

:59:05. > :59:12.much. Here's a look at what is still to come: Still to come, Smithy

:59:13. > :59:16.outlines his plans to revolutionise football. I Smithy announce my

:59:17. > :59:21.campaign to become the next president of Fifa. Find out what

:59:22. > :59:25.happened when Jack Whitehall met Gareth Bale. You play with Rooney,

:59:26. > :59:32.those puppies aren't going it look so bad are they? And Paddy

:59:33. > :59:38.McGuinness and Harry Judd wrestle in the Clash Of The Titans. I have been

:59:39. > :59:43.in that position with Harry before, but what a stag night that was All

:59:44. > :59:53.that and more still to come. We're seconds from leaving BBC One, but

:59:54. > :59:57.the fun and games don't stop her. No way Jose Mourinho, who you'll'

:59:58. > :00:01.actually see. Switch over now to BBC Two. We have more sport, more

:00:02. > :00:08.comedy, more lycra. Yes! Bye-bye everybody! Goodbye BBC One.