Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05'Childhood holidays - oh, the anticipation seemed endless.

0:00:05 > 0:00:09'The holiday itself, well, it was over too quickly.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13'So, in this series, I'm going to be reliving those wonderful times

0:00:13 > 0:00:15'with some much-loved famous faces.'

0:00:15 > 0:00:17This is a memory I will treasure.

0:00:17 > 0:00:21'Every day, I'll be arranging a few surprises to transport them

0:00:21 > 0:00:23'back in time.'

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Please. No?

0:00:25 > 0:00:27- Come on, Len.- Yeah.

0:00:27 > 0:00:28'We'll relive the fun...'

0:00:28 > 0:00:31THEY LAUGH Oh!

0:00:31 > 0:00:32Ah! No! No!

0:00:32 > 0:00:35'..the games... HE GROANS

0:00:35 > 0:00:37'..and the food of years gone by...'

0:00:37 > 0:00:39That's my boyhood in a bowl. Oh!

0:00:39 > 0:00:42"My boyhood in a bowl." THEY LAUGH

0:00:42 > 0:00:46'..to find out how those holidays around the UK helped shape

0:00:46 > 0:00:49'the people we know so well today.'

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Tap dancing!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53LEN YELLS

0:00:53 > 0:00:56'So buckle up for Holiday Of My Lifetime.'

0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Close your eyes.- Yep. - And here we go.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10Today's holiday guest is a man who's been entertaining us

0:01:10 > 0:01:14on screen and off since the 1970s.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18He was born in Birmingham in 1945.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Oh, here he is as a wee nipper!

0:01:20 > 0:01:24Oh, he's got the face for entertainment.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27He's one of Britain's funniest men.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30And like me, he hasn't got a bad voice either.

0:01:30 > 0:01:36You may remember him - oh, and his funky moped - on Top Of The Pops.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Vroom, vroom, go on. HE LAUGHS

0:01:38 > 0:01:41And he's also turned his hand to acting,

0:01:41 > 0:01:44starring onstage and in sitcoms.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Now, come on, you don't have to be a DETECTIVE

0:01:47 > 0:01:50to know who we're talking about.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Have you got it yet? Of course you have.

0:01:53 > 0:01:58Today's guest is top comedian, actor, one of me best mates

0:01:58 > 0:02:02and one of your five a day, it's Jasper Carrott.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Hey, hey!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06And I'm off to meet him in this vintage coach,

0:02:06 > 0:02:13just like the one he would've gone on his holidays in all those years ago.

0:02:13 > 0:02:17Jasper! Oh, Jasper, Lenny's coming for you!

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Jasper Carrott grew up in Acocks Green, Birmingham,

0:02:27 > 0:02:29where he lived with his older brother, Roy,

0:02:29 > 0:02:32his dad, Alan, who was an electrical engineer,

0:02:32 > 0:02:33and his mom, Claris,

0:02:33 > 0:02:37who worked three different cleaning jobs just to make ends meet.

0:02:37 > 0:02:42Today, Jasper has a career in comedy that spans five decades.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46But his showbiz break came in 1969 as the compere

0:02:46 > 0:02:49of The Boggery Folk Club in Birmingham,

0:02:49 > 0:02:52thanks of course to his flair for comedy,

0:02:52 > 0:02:57which eventually led to his first TV special in 1976 -

0:02:57 > 0:03:00A Half Hour Mislaid With Jasper Carrott.

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Needless to say, it's been followed by countless others,

0:03:03 > 0:03:06as well as five series of The Detectives,

0:03:06 > 0:03:09a British Comedy award for lifetime achievement

0:03:09 > 0:03:12and even an OBE from dear old Liz.

0:03:12 > 0:03:17So, if anyone deserves a wee holiday, well, it's him.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19I hope he has the exact change.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Ho-ho. Hey, hey! Jasper!

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Things are so bad, you're down to...

0:03:27 > 0:03:30- ..coach driving. Good to see you. - What do you reckon on this?

0:03:30 > 0:03:35- It's a knockout, isn't it? - A classic.- A jet.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Just like yourself - built for speed...- And a classic.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40..and still going strong.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42So now, where are we off to?

0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Are you ready for this? - Yeah, I am.- OK.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Is it the Algarve?- No.- Right.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50- Another guess?- Benidorm.- No!

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Barry Island!

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Oh, South Wales. Ta-da!

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- And what's the year?- 1958.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01- '58.- Same time as this coach. - Exactly, 1958.

0:04:01 > 0:04:07And that was the same year that the first... Guess what - film.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Carry On film.- Really?- Yes.

0:04:10 > 0:04:141958, first-ever Carry On film. Matron?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16- Let's go.- Thank you. - LEN LAUGHS

0:04:18 > 0:04:22Thanks to its beaches and funfair, Barry Island has been

0:04:22 > 0:04:26a popular tourist destination since the late 1890s.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30And you'll find this gem, along with its population of 50,000 people,

0:04:30 > 0:04:33in the Vale of Glamorgan, South Wales.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37Recently made famous again by TV series Gavin & Stacey,

0:04:37 > 0:04:41the island was originally named after a Welsh saint

0:04:41 > 0:04:43who drowned in the nearby Bristol Channel.

0:04:43 > 0:04:47Still, Jasper had a ball here back in '58.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50So today, we're going to recreate that holiday.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Every holiday begins with a journey.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01But while Jasper's dad was fiercely proud of his Austin 7,

0:05:01 > 0:05:04it really wouldn't have survived the drive to Barry,

0:05:04 > 0:05:07which is why the Carrotts took the coach instead.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10- As a kid, I only ever had three holidays.- Right.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Two were here in Barry Island and one in Dawlish.

0:05:13 > 0:05:17- My mum and dad weren't very rich, so a holiday was a real treat.- Yeah.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20You were a proper working-class family, I suppose.

0:05:20 > 0:05:21Very much so, yeah.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23But my dad had got some deal going,

0:05:23 > 0:05:26- cos he was a wheeler-dealer, you know.- Where was you coming from?

0:05:26 > 0:05:27We came from Birmingham.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30And then you go to Cheltenham, which is the big hub

0:05:30 > 0:05:32where all the coaches met in the '50s.

0:05:32 > 0:05:36- And then you changed coaches.- Right. - And hopefully you got the right one.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Yeah.- And then they take you down to Barry Island.- Right.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42- So how long...? It must've been a longish journey.- About three days.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Yeah, at least!

0:05:44 > 0:05:46- The holiday was virtually over! - Yeah.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48You got there and you had a night

0:05:48 > 0:05:51and then you got back in the coach to get back to Cheltenham.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54- So what did you get up to on the journey?- Well, cos it was...

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I mean, in those days, you didn't have, you know,

0:05:56 > 0:06:001pods and twitterfaces, so I was an avid reader.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03- And I loved the Just William books. - Oh, yeah!- Yeah.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06I used to go to the library and borrow about half a dozen, you know.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Yeah.- Well, nick them, really.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Yeah.- And then... I'd read on the bus, yeah.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15- He was a boy, old Just William, wasn't he?- Oh, fantastic.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17In case you get bored with me chatting away...

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- JASPER SNORES Yeah, exactly.- What?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23I thought you might be interested in a book.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27JASPER LAUGHS

0:06:27 > 0:06:29William's Television Show.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32That is fantastic.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Where did you get that?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- I've got my sources. - Hang on a moment.- That's not yours.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40This is a very wealthy book. This is very, very expensive.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44- LEN LAUGHS - Sorry.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46I'll have that back, thank you.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48You're not... Yeah, I know your game.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52You can never trust the Brummies, I tell you. Ha-ha!

0:06:52 > 0:06:56'While Jasper was busy pocketing Just William books,

0:06:56 > 0:07:00'here is what else was going on in the world back in 1958.'

0:07:04 > 0:07:09It was the year work began on the M1, Britain's first full-length motorway.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Meanwhile, on Grosvenor Square in Westminster,

0:07:12 > 0:07:16Britain was introduced to its first-ever parking metre.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Cost per hour - sixpence. What a liberty!

0:07:20 > 0:07:23We also saw the debuts of two classic telly shows -

0:07:23 > 0:07:27Blue Peter and the legendary Grandstand.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30But this was also the year we sadly mourned the death

0:07:30 > 0:07:33of 23 people in the Munich air disaster,

0:07:33 > 0:07:36among them members of Manchester United football team.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38And as for music, well,

0:07:38 > 0:07:42we were listening to the velvet tones of Perry Como.

0:07:42 > 0:07:47# Magic moments

0:07:47 > 0:07:51# When two hearts are caring

0:07:51 > 0:07:54# Magic... #

0:07:54 > 0:07:58Not only did Magic Moments spend eight weeks at number one,

0:07:58 > 0:08:03it also became Perry's biggest and most successful UK hit of all time.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Oh, what a year!

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Especially for young Jasper Carrott,

0:08:08 > 0:08:11when he finally arrived in Barry.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Ho-ho!

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Oh, yes!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17I remember the view.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20- This is all brand-new.- Of course.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24- But that is the beach that we were on.- Yeah.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28And just a short walk from here, the family's accommodation for the week.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31- What was it called, Glan-y-Mor? - Glan-y-Mor.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- Glan-y-Mor. - It's Welsh, I don't know...

0:08:33 > 0:08:37- I know the Y stands for and.- Yeah.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39- You work it out.- Glen and moor.

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Glen and moor.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Glan... McGlanny... Glan could be Welsh for...- Glen?

0:08:44 > 0:08:48Glenn. And mor could be for Patrick.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51- Yeah!- Patrick Moore. Patrick for Irish.- Yeah.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Yeah, Glenn and Irish.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55There you are. We've sussed that out straightaway.

0:08:55 > 0:08:59While the name sounds all windswept and interesting,

0:08:59 > 0:09:03Glan-y-Mor was in actual fact a humble YMCA.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07# It's fun to stay at the YMCA

0:09:07 > 0:09:12- LEN HUMS ALONG - # It's fun to stay at the YMCA... #

0:09:12 > 0:09:16But 57 years on, well, the old girl's been demolished.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20RECORD SCRATCHES, MUSIC STOPS Even so, the memories live on.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22I've pulled a few strings for you

0:09:22 > 0:09:25and if we hop back on the chair-a-bang...

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- We call it the chair-a-bang, right? - The Charabanc.- Charabanc.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30# Sharra, sharra, sharra Bang, bang, bang. #

0:09:30 > 0:09:32- You remember? - Yes, of course I do.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34So we'll get back on the charabanc

0:09:34 > 0:09:39and I'm going to take you to meet someone who knows all about you,

0:09:39 > 0:09:43your table manners and the YMCA.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45So let's jump on and we'll go and have a look.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47It's an actor, isn't it? It's an actor.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49You wait and see who it is.

0:09:49 > 0:09:54'Oh, yes! Next up - cue the music - the YMCA.'

0:09:54 > 0:09:55# Ooh, ah, ah!

0:09:55 > 0:09:59# It's fun to stay at the YMCA

0:09:59 > 0:10:03- # It's fun to stay at the YMCA - Yeah, yeah, yeah... #

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Glan-y-Mor first opened its doors in 1933.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10And by the late '50s, the people running the show

0:10:10 > 0:10:12were Cledwyn and Rose Gimblett.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15And I've only gone and tracked down their daughter!

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Ho-ho!

0:10:17 > 0:10:21- You must be Sandra.- Yes, I am. Hello.- Len, nice to meet you. - And you too.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24- And Jasper.- Hello, hello.- Can I come under there?- Yes, you can.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27- Yes, you can.- Not you.- No, I'll stand in the rain, that's all right.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29It's big enough for all of us.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32- See, Sandra and I are old friends. - Course you are.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35- We go back 50-odd years. - Yes. Very, very old friends, yes.

0:10:35 > 0:10:40- Now, Sandra, as I understand it, your mum and dad...- Yes.

0:10:40 > 0:10:45- ..ran the YMCA that Jasper went to in '58.- Yes.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46- Is that right?- Yes.- Yeah.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48And what does Glan-y-Mor mean?

0:10:48 > 0:10:52- Near the sea. - We weren't far wrong.- No.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55- You'd look out, you'd have the beach and the lap pool.- Yeah.

0:10:55 > 0:10:59- The- funfair. The funfair at Barry Island. Everything.- Yeah.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02- Everything you wanted was here. - Yeah.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Demolished in 1980,

0:11:04 > 0:11:07Glan-y-Mor has been replaced with residential properties.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11But back in the day, it provided full board for more than 200 people.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15A double room cost five pound, 17 shillings.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Woohoo! What a bargain.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Dad put good food on the table.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22We had, like, breakfast, we had a three-course lunch

0:11:22 > 0:11:24and we had an evening meal.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27But you had to be on time for meals or else your dad...

0:11:27 > 0:11:29- If you were late, you paid a fine.- Yes.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31And somebody would go round with a fine box

0:11:31 > 0:11:34and you'd put a penny or two pence, or a tuppence, in there,

0:11:34 > 0:11:36and that would be like our charity thing.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38Blimey, that's a bit strict.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Still, there was plenty to smile about - snooker,

0:11:41 > 0:11:44table tennis, even fancy dress competitions.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48That's a little photograph of a fancy dress.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50- That was in the ballroom, wasn't it?- Yes.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53- That's me, actually.- Is that right?

0:11:53 > 0:11:57Daddy's girl, rolling little cars along the floor.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Every child had a present on Friday evening.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02If they entered the fancy dress, they all had a prize.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06- Well, let me say, Sandra, it's been a joy to meet you.- And you too.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- And thank you so much for your time. - OK, thank you.- Thank you.- Thank you.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12- I knew Jasper would do that. - Nice to see you again.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14He can't help himself. JASPER LAUGHS

0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Every opportunity.- I know! - At our age, Len, every opportunity.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21Let me tell you this, you think this is where the excitement ends,

0:12:21 > 0:12:24kissing Sandra, but no, there's more.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27- So, Sandra, we'll see you again. - Yes, OK.- Thank you once again.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29- All right. Thank you.- Bye. - Bye-bye.- Good to see you.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32'I almost didn't give her the umbrella back!

0:12:33 > 0:12:37'As for me and Jasper, we're going to relive a few of those YMCA

0:12:37 > 0:12:42'traditions, like playing snooker and competing for best fancy dress.'

0:12:42 > 0:12:46I see you, especially like that with your jeans and that,

0:12:46 > 0:12:50- I see you as a cowboy. - Right.- So if you come over here...

0:12:52 > 0:12:55My reputation in this business is rapidly going downhill,

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- you know that? - Well, of course it is.- Thank you(!)

0:12:58 > 0:13:02- And what do we do with these?- Well, you're a cowboy, you work it out.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Because I'm a Roman gladiator, of course.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09'I reckon I'm going to be victorious. Oh, yes!

0:13:09 > 0:13:11'Tell you what, play the music.'

0:13:11 > 0:13:15MUSIC: Bad To The Bone by George Thorogood & The Destroyers

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Oh, no! Oh! Oh!

0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Have you gone left-handed?- It's no problem when you're a genius.

0:13:30 > 0:13:31You're multilingual.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33I...I learned it off Cliff Thorburn.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37When you were growing up, who were the people on TV or stage

0:13:37 > 0:13:39or screen that inspired you?

0:13:39 > 0:13:42I suppose all my influences were American.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47I remember watching the Smothers Brothers on television.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50And the BBC brought them over for 13 shows.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53And they played twice, they did two shows.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54And I thought they were hysterical.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Nobody else rated them at all and the BBC took it off.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00And I realised then I'd got a sort of a, you know,

0:14:00 > 0:14:02- a different way of looking at humour.- Yeah.

0:14:02 > 0:14:07And I think they inspired me to look at comedy in a different way.

0:14:07 > 0:14:12- Yeah.- And then that's when I got into Tom Lehrer.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Big time, big time.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Tom Lehrer was a pianist and a mathematician,

0:14:17 > 0:14:20but what made him popular was his song parodies,

0:14:20 > 0:14:24something a young Jasper took great inspiration from.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26So I used to write funny songs and then do funny chat.

0:14:26 > 0:14:29- Yeah.- One of my first routines was about Butlins.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32I used to do this thing about...

0:14:32 > 0:14:35The guards used to come round the chalets every night, 12 midnight,

0:14:35 > 0:14:37going, bang, bang, bang... "Hello, have you got a girl in there?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39"No, no, honest, there's no girl in here."

0:14:39 > 0:14:42- "Hang on, we'll get you one." - LEN LAUGHS

0:14:42 > 0:14:45And the whole routine on Butlins, yeah.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48And that's where I learned to become a raconteur.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53'And five decades later, Jasper's still going strong,

0:14:53 > 0:14:55'though he's not much of a snooker player.'

0:14:55 > 0:14:58What's that over there on the window?

0:14:59 > 0:15:03- What are you on about?- No, look, in the corner there.- Where?

0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Just over there.- Yeah?

0:15:05 > 0:15:06Yeah.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09- Oh, no, it's nothing. It was a shadow.- Oh, OK.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12What?!

0:15:12 > 0:15:14That's eight. JASPER LAUGHS

0:15:14 > 0:15:17'Now, what a lot of people don't know about my friend here is

0:15:17 > 0:15:20'that as well as not being much of a snooker player...'

0:15:20 > 0:15:21It takes a lot of skill to miss those.

0:15:21 > 0:15:25'..he was also quite shocking at retail in his younger years, too.'

0:15:25 > 0:15:29I went straight into a department store

0:15:29 > 0:15:31called the Beehive.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33And without a doubt,

0:15:33 > 0:15:36Are You Being Served? was written about the Beehive.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38I swear it. I was there for three years.

0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Really?- Yeah. - What department were you in?

0:15:41 > 0:15:44I had to work in all the departments.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Did you work in ladies' underwear?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49We should form a comedy duo.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52The only comedy duo with two straight men.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54THEY LAUGH

0:15:54 > 0:15:57- Right, now look, to finish this off...- Yeah.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00- If you get that into that middle hole, I'll give you the game.- OK.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01That's it.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- Yeah!- Oh, get in there!

0:16:06 > 0:16:07Yes. Thank you.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12Food is a big part of any holiday.

0:16:12 > 0:16:17And in Jasper's case, every meal was courtesy of the YMCA.

0:16:17 > 0:16:23And while the building is gone, here in Barry, the institution lives on.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25We're here, we've just washed our hands,

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I thought a little bit of cooking.

0:16:27 > 0:16:31- Yeah. Follow me.- Are you mad?- No.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34I've heard you're a fine cook. Ainsley Harriott told me...

0:16:34 > 0:16:37JASPER LAUGHS ..you're a fine chef.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40'Now, once Carrott works out how to use his apron...'

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- No, I think your head goes through it.- OK.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45We're going to have trouble here, I can see that.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47'..we're going to create some of that YMCA nosh

0:16:47 > 0:16:49'he was so passionate about.'

0:16:49 > 0:16:54- It was nirvana. It was heaven. - So, you got your breakfast...- Oh...

0:16:54 > 0:16:55Well, and you had a choice!

0:16:55 > 0:16:59You know, you could have scrambled egg or fried. Ooph!

0:16:59 > 0:17:01It was...it was utopia.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03And then beans and sausage... Black pudding!

0:17:03 > 0:17:07- First time I'd ever had black pudding. It was awful.- Yeah.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08But, you know, what the heck.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11And then you got, you know, a three-course lunch,

0:17:11 > 0:17:12a three-course evening meal.

0:17:12 > 0:17:17- And you got sweets after every course, apart for breakfast.- Yeah.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19Sweets, desserts, you know, puddings.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24- Yeah?- Oh, yes.- Now what?

0:17:24 > 0:17:28Pie. We're going to make ourselves a nice steak and potato pie.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32- And you are in charge...- Yes? - ..of the crust.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- OK.- Isn't that what they call it?

0:17:35 > 0:17:37Look at this, Len.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41Not yet, not yet. See, you don't know how to cook.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43- I don't know how to cook. - No, you don't know how to cook.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45You've got to get it all out.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48- NOW you put it on. - A bit of that.- Yeah.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53Were you a bachelor at any time?

0:17:53 > 0:17:58I make the best spaghetti Bolognese that's ever been made.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- What I'm not strong on... - Is piecrust.- ..is pastry!

0:18:01 > 0:18:03THEY LAUGH

0:18:03 > 0:18:07- No.- No, it's coming, it's coming. What we should've done...

0:18:07 > 0:18:10Is sanded it.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Look what I've done - no knife, nothing.- Brilliant. Brilliant.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15And then it goes on top of here.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18- That way round?- Yes, this way round. Look, see?

0:18:18 > 0:18:22Now, what I need is your false teeth, cos I want to crimp.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24'Oi, cheeky!'

0:18:24 > 0:18:25You're doing that wrong.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28I know what my nan did... Is you go round it like that.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33You go around it like that, me ol' sausage.

0:18:34 > 0:18:37'Then prod it with a fork... And Bob's your uncle!'

0:18:37 > 0:18:40My mum used everything that came out of the top.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43It was like a blackbird whistling.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Yeah?

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Was it a good home your mum was in?

0:18:49 > 0:18:51LEN LAUGHS

0:18:51 > 0:18:53BOTH CHORTLE

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Now...

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Straight in the oven at gas mark four.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01'Cook for about 40 minutes and, all going to plan,

0:19:01 > 0:19:05'this will be just like taking a bite out of 1958.'

0:19:05 > 0:19:08Say the magic words.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09Alakazam!

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Open Sesame!

0:19:17 > 0:19:18Brilliant. Hang on a moment.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22'OK, slight confession to make.'

0:19:24 > 0:19:26This is one we made earlier...

0:19:26 > 0:19:29LEN LAUGHS

0:19:29 > 0:19:31Now, to be honest...

0:19:31 > 0:19:34- OK, I know our one isn't fully baked.- No.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37- But it's there or thereabouts, isn't it?- It's not far off.

0:19:37 > 0:19:41'Even so, let's eat the one the professionals made,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44'as I think Jasper is trying to tell me he's hungry.'

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Aaah!

0:19:46 > 0:19:47I'm trying to walk like a waitress.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50Now, look... Eh?

0:19:50 > 0:19:55- You do a good impression of Julie Walters.- Oh, thank, yeah.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57'Oh, yes, no end to my talents(!)'

0:20:00 > 0:20:04- I tell you what, you make a good commis chef.- Thank you very much.

0:20:04 > 0:20:08- We're going to induct you into the pudding club.- Oh, thank you!

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Not a problem.

0:20:10 > 0:20:13If you fancy getting your adrenaline pumping, you can

0:20:13 > 0:20:16always roll on up to the Barry Island Pleasure Park.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19This is the dodgems, not the bumpems.

0:20:19 > 0:20:24- I am a friend of Lewis Hamilton. - Oh, yes.- Lewis Hamilton is my friend.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27- John Surtees.- Oh, well, it's about your age group.- Stirling Moss...

0:20:27 > 0:20:29- No bumping, right?- No bumping.

0:20:29 > 0:20:33'Offering everything from the carousel to the dodgems,

0:20:33 > 0:20:36'there's no denying this funfair brings out the big kid in us all.'

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Whey-hey!

0:20:38 > 0:20:41'The park was established in 1929,

0:20:41 > 0:20:44'and soon after, was wowing summer crowds

0:20:44 > 0:20:47'of up to 250,000 people a day.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51'No wonder that way back in 1958

0:20:51 > 0:20:54'you couldn't keep a young Jasper Carrott away.'

0:20:54 > 0:20:58- Right. Now I've got my hat.- Yes...

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Come on, boys and girls, roll up.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04Here we go. Everyone a winner.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07Come on - hook a duck, win a prize.

0:21:07 > 0:21:11Hey, you look a nice young lad, would you like to have a go?

0:21:11 > 0:21:13Len, there's got to be better ways of earning a living.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16THEY LAUGH

0:21:16 > 0:21:21- Here we go. Now, look...- I have to stick this...- You've got to hook...

0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Yeah?- Oh, hold on. Hook a duck.- Hook a duck.

0:21:25 > 0:21:30'Trust me, it's a lot more complicated than it sounds.'

0:21:31 > 0:21:34This could take a bit of time.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37This time. No.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39LEN LAUGHS

0:21:40 > 0:21:43THEY CHEER

0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Well done. - Now, I don't want the duck.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49No, no, no. But you've won a prize.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52- What is it? I bet it's a Rubik's Cube.- No, it is not.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54What did you win in '58?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56A toothbrush.

0:21:56 > 0:21:57Thank you.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00THEY LAUGH

0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Brilliant, you've done your research, eh?- Oh, yes.

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Good one. Good one.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09Indeed I have, which is how I also know that Jasper's

0:22:09 > 0:22:13big, big break in comedy finally came in 1978.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16I was about six or seven years in the folk clubs, developing

0:22:16 > 0:22:19loads and loads of material, about three hours of material.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21And then Michael Grade discovered me.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26- He came to see me work in Stratford Shakespeare Theatre.- Right.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- And the support act... - Was?- Victoria Wood.

0:22:29 > 0:22:34- Oh, wonderful!- Victoria Wood was the support act.- Right.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37And that's when he gave me

0:22:37 > 0:22:40a chance to do a pilot for London Weekend,

0:22:40 > 0:22:41which was successful.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45- I did another five and it went out. And the rest...- The rest is history.

0:22:45 > 0:22:47- ..is history, yeah. - Well, talking of history,

0:22:47 > 0:22:51- I've got to get my leg over here. - Have you got the Zimmer frame?

0:22:51 > 0:22:53Careful. Oh, no! Don't! Oh!

0:22:53 > 0:22:57'As for our next stop, the Memo Arts Centre,

0:22:57 > 0:23:00'which hosts everything from Shakespeare to comedy,

0:23:00 > 0:23:05'making it a good place to ask Jasper about his return to stand-up

0:23:05 > 0:23:07'after an absence of 13 years.'

0:23:07 > 0:23:12End of the '90s, early 2000, I gave it up cos I just was bored.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Right.- And I wasn't getting any satisfaction.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19And I didn't see any rhyme or reason why I should go back on.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22But my very best friend is Bev Bevan from Electric Light Orchestra,

0:23:22 > 0:23:24he's a drummer, and he said,

0:23:24 > 0:23:26"Come on, let's go and do a few shows. We've never toured

0:23:26 > 0:23:28"in all the time we've been best friends.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32"Let's go and do a few shows before we run out of time,"

0:23:32 > 0:23:33really, you know.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36So I said OK. So we did 20.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Yeah.- And it was really successful.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42And I can't quite believe it still,

0:23:42 > 0:23:46but suddenly, I got back all that enthusiasm for stand-up.

0:23:46 > 0:23:50And I didn't have to do 2.5 hours, which is what I used to do,

0:23:50 > 0:23:53I just had to do two half-hours because we'd do it with the music.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56- Yeah.- And I was having the time of my life.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Now listen...- Mm-hm.

0:23:58 > 0:23:59Shh.

0:23:59 > 0:24:04I'm not sure how long Strictly will last, Holiday Of My Lifetime,

0:24:04 > 0:24:05so on and so on.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08- I'm going to need another iron in the fire.- Yes.

0:24:08 > 0:24:12So what I was hoping to do now was to do a little bit

0:24:12 > 0:24:13of sort of stand-up...

0:24:13 > 0:24:17- Yes.- ..comedic gags and stuff here.- OK.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20And then maybe, you know, you could critique it, tell me

0:24:20 > 0:24:23if I'm going wrong. I'm sure you'll say I'm not.

0:24:23 > 0:24:28- I think I've run out of time, Len. - No, no, come on. Let me squeeze...

0:24:28 > 0:24:33- One.- Three.- One. One. All right, two. Two maximum.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36Three. JASPER LAUGHS

0:24:36 > 0:24:40'Ladies and gentlemen, live from Barry's Memo Centre, it's the one,

0:24:40 > 0:24:43'the only...Len Goodman.'

0:24:43 > 0:24:45- Did you hear about the... YELLS:- You suck!

0:24:47 > 0:24:49LAUGHING: Too early, too early!

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Think you're funny?!

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Do you get that? Did you ever get all that?

0:24:53 > 0:24:55That's what you've got to put up with, yeah.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Did you hear about the constipated bullfighter

0:24:58 > 0:25:00who couldn't pass a doble?

0:25:01 > 0:25:03Mm-hm. Next!

0:25:04 > 0:25:07- I've done... - No, not another joke, next.

0:25:07 > 0:25:09- Next act. - I've got another joke coming.

0:25:09 > 0:25:13Oh, I've...hurt me back carrying water.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16JASPER LAUGHS It was Evian.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18It was an 'eavy 'un!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Yeah, Evian.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22- As in it was a heavy water.- Evian.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25- Yeah, OK.- And 'eavy 'un. Yeah, Evian.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28My third joke... I left the last one till the end.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32If I go in any type of paint shop,

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I just can't help crying, I get so emulsional.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Um...

0:25:39 > 0:25:40Emulsional.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Len, this Strictly Come Dancing, it's not going to end soon,

0:25:43 > 0:25:45- is it?- I hope not,

0:25:45 > 0:25:47on that reaction!

0:25:47 > 0:25:49THEY LAUGH

0:25:49 > 0:25:53'So the bad news - my career in comedy is over before it began.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57'But the good news - it's finally brightened up.'

0:25:57 > 0:26:00- All the best, cheers. - Lovely day. Thank you, Len.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03- It's been a nice day.- Super. And the weather's turned out great.

0:26:03 > 0:26:04Look at it.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Now, I've got to ask you

0:26:06 > 0:26:09because I've been dying to ask you and I'm not...

0:26:09 > 0:26:11The Detectives.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13- Ah.- Robert Powell.- Yes.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16How was that, acting with him and working with him?

0:26:16 > 0:26:18We got on like a house on fire.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21It was probably one of the most enjoyable times of my career.

0:26:21 > 0:26:22- Really?- Yeah.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25And the wonderful George Sewell, who was the superintendent.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27George was brilliant.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29And we had a terrific crew.

0:26:29 > 0:26:34Yeah, the thing is, when you look back over your career,

0:26:34 > 0:26:37you have done so many different things.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40Is there anything left that, you know, you think, "Do you know,

0:26:40 > 0:26:42"I wouldn't mind doing...?"

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Honestly, truthfully?- Honestly.

0:26:45 > 0:26:46Strictly Come Dancing.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48No! I know that's a lie.

0:26:48 > 0:26:49I know that's a lie!

0:26:51 > 0:26:54'While I won't be marking Jasper's dance card any time soon,

0:26:54 > 0:26:58'I've loved sharing his holiday here on Barry.

0:26:58 > 0:27:02'Oh, yes, what a holiday it's been!'

0:27:02 > 0:27:06- Listen, it's been so nice.- Yes. - And I want you to remember it.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Cos, you know, once you get to a certain age,

0:27:08 > 0:27:11- things do slip your mind.- Such as?

0:27:11 > 0:27:16Well, you could forget about our lovely time in Barry Island. Where?

0:27:16 > 0:27:20- I've never been to Barry Island. - Is that where we are?- Yeah.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22- So...- So...

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Just to keep your memories refreshed,

0:27:24 > 0:27:28here's a scrapbook of our time together.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32And you're on the front.

0:27:32 > 0:27:37'Oh, yes, there's lots of photos of yours truly, plus a few of Jasper,

0:27:37 > 0:27:41'so he can relive our special day any time he feels like a laugh.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43'But that's not his only souvenir.'

0:27:45 > 0:27:48- Glan-y-Mor.- Oh, crikey!- YMCA.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53- Holiday centre.- Thank you very much. - And thank you very much.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55I shall put it under my pillow.

0:27:55 > 0:28:00- And every time I go to bed, I'll think of you.- Thank you.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02- It's all right.- There you go.

0:28:02 > 0:28:04Well, put them all back in their box. And once again...

0:28:06 > 0:28:10- ..I'm going to have a man hug because I've enjoyed it.- Good man.

0:28:10 > 0:28:12Good man I am.

0:28:12 > 0:28:15'So as we run for our bus, it is tatty-bye from Barry.'