0:00:02 > 0:00:06Three Men In A Boat has been, up to now, a quintessentially English affair.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10But this year, we're heading to my home turf, which is, of course, Ireland.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21- Gentlemen, I promised you a boat. Will this do?- It's good. I feel
0:00:21 > 0:00:24- we're on the eve of an adventure. - It's going to be incredible.
0:00:24 > 0:00:30- You don't actually have a steering wheel or anything like that? - Just a tiller.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32That you've been leaning against.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35That's why we keep going towards Belfast.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38We are going to do something that's not normally done, go straight through
0:00:38 > 0:00:44the middle of Ireland by canal and river into a country of noisy conviviality.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Top of the morning to you!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Fantastic characters.
0:00:49 > 0:00:55A place of warm, welcoming hospitality, especially for the returning hero.
0:00:55 > 0:01:00En route, of course, rowing in curraghs and sailing in hookers.
0:01:00 > 0:01:05And it'll all be fine as long as Griff can get them all started.
0:01:05 > 0:01:10Our aim is to end up eventually at the largest Irish Poetry Festival in Limerick.
0:01:10 > 0:01:15And my hope is just, well, that the other two don't embarrass me.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Have you noticed there are no boats on the river? Have you noticed that?
0:01:18 > 0:01:24That's because Irish people aren't stupid enough to take boating holidays in mid-October.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34In the past, we have raced in Griff's yacht. And lost.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38And we've motored in Rory's boat and nearly died.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Twice.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47But today we are coming in to Ireland's largest port and, coincidentally,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49my home town of Dublin.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51I'm bringing you to Ireland.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55It's not MY Ireland we're going to, we're doing a little boat trip.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59But, nonetheless, I'm not putting you anywhere near anyone I value or hold dear to me
0:01:59 > 0:02:01cos I think you're just going to make it bad.
0:02:01 > 0:02:06A quick few instructions, then. How do you want us to behave, Dara? We don't want to let you down.
0:02:06 > 0:02:11Just be yourselves but less so and be engaging and polite.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Don't do the accent.- Yeah, Griff, don't say "top of the morning".
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Don't do anything like that. - Will we observe you getting more and more Irish?
0:02:17 > 0:02:22You will notice my accent getting richer and thicker and more mellifluous the longer I'm here.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26The Terry Wogan-type voice that I've been putting on for the last while,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I'm going to drop that off me like a heavy coat.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- # In Dublin's fair city... # - He's off.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34He's started. We're not even in...
0:02:34 > 0:02:37We haven't arrived. We're not technically on land.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39# ..I first set my eyes... #
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Oh God, this is a bad idea.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Dara gets to park the boat.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Perhaps he has a resident's parking permit.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Is it Dara's birthday?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55This is like that episode of Jim'll Fix It.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59And...
0:02:59 > 0:03:02There we go.
0:03:02 > 0:03:07Well done, Dara O'Briain. Thank you very much.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- Look at that. - I know. It's perfect, isn't it?
0:03:09 > 0:03:13- Beautifully parked. - Thank you very much.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16From the port, it's a short hop to the centre of Dublin
0:03:16 > 0:03:20to get to the Grand Canal, where we'll find our next boat.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22- Welcome to Dublin.- This is gorgeous.
0:03:22 > 0:03:27What I have arranged is a barge with the not very romantic name 45M.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33Built in the 1940s, it's the only original working barge left in Ireland.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35This is the boat you've organised?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Yes. I thought we've had enough of pretty boats.
0:03:38 > 0:03:44- This is very functional. - Yeah, to be honest it looked different in the brochure.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46When I say original, that's everything,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50including the engine and the barge man Andy, who's here to help us get started.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53This is my wife, Griff.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57I'm his eldest. How's yourself?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59This is a fine boat. Come on board.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02The first task is actually to get her started.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06No easy task, apparently, which is why we volunteer Griff.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- He's the sailor.- You're the sailor.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12I've been designated. I'm going to help you start now.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- Are you going to show me?- Yes.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19All right. I'll give you the pleasure of getting down there first.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20OK. Good.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28What sort of engine is this?
0:04:28 > 0:04:32That's a Bolinder 15 horsepower engine.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- HISSING - Now.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39That's gone out. Jesus!
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Yarr!
0:04:44 > 0:04:52So when it's hot, turn the flywheel, that injects the fuel.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54What ignites the fuel?
0:04:54 > 0:04:55The heat.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57The heat ignites it.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59So when it goes in, it just goes poof, like that.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01There's no reverse.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Oh, no reverse.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07There's no braking mechanism in this engine at all.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Just what you see. Straightforward.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14OK, so we're talking real, real simplicity here. OK.
0:05:14 > 0:05:20- When we've opened up that governor, how fast is this canal boat going to go?- Two miles an hour.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Two miles an hour.
0:05:22 > 0:05:28Basically, however fast we go, we can still overtake this barge by walking on the towpath?
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Oh, Lord, yes. They'll be all able to pass you, yeah.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36'Now that it's blazing hot, in order to kick the engine into life,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39'I need to swing the flywheel vigorously.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41'And if it starts...
0:05:44 > 0:05:50'..that's IF it starts, I need to jump out of the way before it takes my arm off.'
0:05:50 > 0:05:51I'm not strong enough!
0:05:51 > 0:05:52What's a tree in Irish?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Crann.- Crann.- Crann.- Crann.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- C-R-A-N-N. Crann.- Crann.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- It's very easy. There are phrases, but you just want to learn random words?- Well, yeah.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- It's like a child learning. - That's how you learn language.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12I can't do it.
0:06:12 > 0:06:18- Ball?- Liathroid.- Liathroid. - Liathroid.- Liathroid. - Liathroid.- Liathroid.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22Liathroids is a disease, isn't it? A glandular thing?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24No, not the one I'm saying.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28'Having utterly failed to start the thing, I've called in some muscle.'
0:06:28 > 0:06:34This is like being at a fairground now, with various people, "We'll get the passers-by."
0:06:37 > 0:06:42'Luckily, our barge enthusiast starts it first time.'
0:06:42 > 0:06:45ENGINE CHUGS INTO LIFE
0:06:45 > 0:06:48'Yeah, I loosened it up for him.'
0:06:48 > 0:06:52- Oh, my God. Gives off enough smoke. - Well, he's been doing that for what?
0:06:52 > 0:06:56- 15 minutes. - 15 minutes to achieve...
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Some sort of critical mass.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00A health hazard. Look at those poor people over there.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02My God, that's a place to have a food fair, isn't it?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Yeah. - The poor woman at the falafel stand.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Smoked falafel.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14At kerb-crawler pace, it seems appropriate to let boat basher Rory take the helm,
0:07:14 > 0:07:18even if the barge does weigh 25 tonnes and has no reverse.
0:07:19 > 0:07:25Lovely here. The wind blasting through my hair.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Hey, hey, people are overtaking us on foot.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40The Grand Canal will take us across Ireland to the Shannon River.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42From there we will head south down to Limerick.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45This is a route that the barge will have done hundreds of times,
0:07:45 > 0:07:49taking grain and turf into Dublin and Guinness back to Limerick.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55The barges and locks were built for each other, so there are literally inches to spare.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00So you wonder if it's wise that Rory is the one to take us into our first lock.
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Dara!
0:08:09 > 0:08:12You're a legend. You're an absolute legend.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Safely in, the sluice gates are opened
0:08:16 > 0:08:21and the lock flooded to lift the boat to the next level of canal.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25There's like a foot, if that, at the front, a foot at the back and six inches either side
0:08:25 > 0:08:28and Rory - right in. Like a rat up a drain.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's how well he did that. That's incredible.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36Stopping is just a case of tying it off and then, by the miracle of rope,
0:08:36 > 0:08:4025 tonnes of boat come grinding to a halt.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42And we've travelled...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46..300 metres.
0:08:47 > 0:08:54They said that Guinness delivered by barge tasted better since it had time to mature.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Hopefully, it would have the same effect on us.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Cheers, thank you very much.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- Are they with us? - Thank you very much. Thank you.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Very stately progress, isn't it?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Through the many locks of Dublin we were getting plenty of help.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Well, Griff was.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26We have to make sure we shut these after we finish.
0:09:27 > 0:09:32But tomorrow we be on our own and we needed the correct equipment.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33Dara?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Go and get us a couple of chairs. - Yeah, all right.
0:09:41 > 0:09:42Thank you.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Yeah...
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Before Dara gets back, oi'll get me Oirish accent out of de way.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56In a place loike Dublin, everyone talks in this beautiful accent, but it's infectious.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59And you want to talk loike it all de time, y'know?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02But we can't talk loike that when Dara is here, because he hates it.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06He'd actually smash moy head in if he heard me talking like dis.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Yeah, I'll pick them up.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Cheers.- Dara, you're a 'far'.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Maith an fear. Maith an fear means good man.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Maith an fear.- Maith an fear. - Maith an fear.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33For the simple addition of two stools and a pint, this boat is 115% better.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I love what you've done to it, Dara. You've made it your own.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38Maith an fear.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Nice, very good. You're taking to the Irish.
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Bargemeister Andy has served on the canals all his working life...
0:10:55 > 0:11:01until 1961, when commercial traffic on the canal switched to the road.
0:11:04 > 0:11:0945M would have done more trips apart from the fact that she sank during a storm in 1948
0:11:09 > 0:11:14and lay at the bottom of a lake until she was raised in the 1970s.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16In a way, that's what saved her
0:11:16 > 0:11:22because all the other Guinness barges were converted into houseboats around this time.
0:11:22 > 0:11:28As we come to the end of our first day we've got one more lock to do, and not wanting to tempt fate -
0:11:28 > 0:11:31and the drink-drive laws - Griff is at the helm.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Griff! Please, come on!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, Griff!
0:11:47 > 0:11:50- Thanks, Griff, well done, top work. - Magic, magic.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57There's something about the length and dimensions into the lock
0:11:57 > 0:12:00that you do very well, comes naturally.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04It was more that you bounced us off one wall and then smacked into the other on the way in.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06You took both gates out.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08We went like that.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Got ourselves in.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's a magnificent boat, but the engine is so dangerous.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21We're going to go and put up for the night, and Andy's going to go,
0:12:21 > 0:12:27and then I sort of volunteered once again to be Mr Boat Man.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30So, quite clearly, it's going to be down to me
0:12:30 > 0:12:33to get this thing working again in the morning.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I just think it's impossible.
0:12:35 > 0:12:39It's a horribly dangerous, temperamental beast.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Having taken an entire day to get us out of the city centre,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Dara is keen to take us straight back there
0:12:45 > 0:12:47and show us the bright lights.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I think that means we're going to a pub.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53It should take us about three minutes.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58What's this? This is Dublin's new tram system?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00It's called Luas. It's the Irish word for speed.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- For speed?- Yes.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Very smart. Have you ever been on it?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08So it's a bit of an experience for you!
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Dublin's famous worldwide for its writers.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Shaw, Beckett, Wilde, in particular James Joyce,
0:13:16 > 0:13:19whose masterpiece Ulysses is based in the city.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25One place in the book is Dublin's oldest university, Trinity College.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I went to university in the other university up the road,
0:13:28 > 0:13:32University College Dublin, but still, while Rory finds a pub I take Griff into Trinity
0:13:32 > 0:13:36to show him the Dublin masterpiece that's the Long Room in the library.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40The universities are roughly around about the same level academically.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45Trinity is the most famous because it's, by some distance, the oldest and the most beautiful,
0:13:45 > 0:13:51but there's not the same kudos or the same exclusivity or elitism in the Irish university system
0:13:51 > 0:13:54that there is in the English university system.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56So some really famous sort of Irish...
0:13:56 > 0:14:00For example, we possibly over the course of discussion tonight,
0:14:00 > 0:14:05and various chats we're doing and events we're going to, we'll hear Joyce mentioned.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09Joyce went to my university, as did Flann O'Brien, he also went to UCD.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13It's a much larger university. The National University of Ireland is much bigger,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15but this wasn't my university.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18I can't fault this for just the sheer beauty of the place.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Terry Wogan, where did he go?
0:14:21 > 0:14:26I don't...it's not really... Terry's academic history isn't a major issue of debate.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27- Is it not?- No, I don't...
0:14:27 > 0:14:31'The celebration of great writers is a national passion.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35'We arrived in a boat named Swift, we've crossed bridges named after Beckett and Shaw.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38'We think we've got the greatest writers.
0:14:38 > 0:14:42'Shaw? Sure. But I'd argue that the English take the literary biscuit.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47'Luckily, another famous tradition of Trinity is that a student here may carry a sword,
0:14:47 > 0:14:50'so we're using an old-fashioned arbitration technique.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52'That is, a duel at the fencing society.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56'And first up, some instruction in basic techniques.'
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Being a foot and a half higher than Griff may be a small advantage,
0:15:00 > 0:15:03in as much as I can hold his head
0:15:03 > 0:15:07with my non-sword arm, a fencing term,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09and then just jab him repeatedly.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Better, well done.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Again, less like ballet, OK?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16You're being too bouncy. Forward.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18More aggressive.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Apparently I can't hit him in the groin.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Etiquette. Oh, can I?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- If you see the metal... - Ooh, yeah.- Covers the groin.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29'A few minutes of hastily arranged tuition, and we're not ready.
0:15:29 > 0:15:35'But the crowds want some action, so it's England versus Ireland, round one of many.'
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Allez!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Touche!
0:15:46 > 0:15:51'Yes, first point to Dara. He needs four more to win, though.'
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Fence!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- What?- Attack off target.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Off target? I got him in the nuts.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10That's pretty phenomenally on target.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Shakespeare.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Joyce!
0:16:25 > 0:16:26WB Yeats!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Wordsworth.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Virginia Woolf.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39'That makes it four points all. The next one wins.'
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- This is the final point, my friend. - Oh, right.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43How are you feeling?
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Exhausted.- Exhausting, isn't it?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Dara, I'm sweating like a pig.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52- We can buy more time here if you want.- Can we?
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- It looks like we're trash talking. - OK!
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Here we go.- OK.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- Are you ready, gentlemen? - We're ready.
0:17:05 > 0:17:06Fence.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25A pleasure.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Excellent.- That was very good.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- That was good.- It was great, yeah, it was fantastic.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34- What?- It was satisfying.
0:17:34 > 0:17:39There was bits where I skewered you and I felt really happy inside.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40I was too balletic, apparently.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Really? That's not a complaint they made about me.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46At no stage did they say, "You were too balletic."
0:17:46 > 0:17:48At no stage has anybody said that.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52I thought you were very balletic. I was impressed by how balletic you were.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55Thank you. There was one bit that will stay with me.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Just where you opened some of your flank, your groin,
0:17:59 > 0:18:01and I went, "I'm in there."
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Having worked up a thirst,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08we found Rory in one of Dublin's other landmarks, Kehoe's Pub.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12- Fencing. So that went OK, did it? - It was good. Exhausting.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15- How many whiskies have you had? - My first.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19'With only a cold barge to return to we were clearly here for the night.'
0:18:24 > 0:18:28'Next morning, while we slept off the night before,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31'it was Griff versus the engine, round two.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34'And my money is on the engine.'
0:18:35 > 0:18:41'It takes about 10 minutes for the engine to warm up, which is handy,
0:18:41 > 0:18:44'because it's about the same amount of time for me.'
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Oh, dear! Sorry.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53HE LAUGHS
0:19:02 > 0:19:07- How's it going, Griff? Have you started the engine yet?- No.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09It's just heating up.
0:19:09 > 0:19:14Nothing about this trip inspires me with any confidence whatsoever.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19A very old, rusty machine, a gas torch aimed at it,
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I've got my hand on a fuel valve,
0:19:21 > 0:19:25- and you're going to play with that wheel.- OK.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28This could be the last Three Men ever.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31A-one, a-two,
0:19:31 > 0:19:34a-one, two,
0:19:34 > 0:19:36three, four...!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Huhhh! Huhhh! Huhhh! Huhhh!
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- I can't get it going. - I've had a great idea.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Let's ring the AA.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- All right, OK. - I'll get on the blower.- Yeah, fine.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Here we are, you see?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- How are you?- We've got a bit of an engine problem.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Are you any good with engines?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Should push down now.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13Push down!
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Oh, it's ridiculous, isn't it?
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- There's something in the back of the van that'll get that going. - Brilliant.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- There's your man. - Are we pleased to see you, Andy!
0:20:58 > 0:21:02'Andy's experienced hand once again got us going.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06'But we knew we couldn't rely on him all the way to Limerick.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13'Apart from this, however, we seemed to be getting the hang of this very big barge.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17'Even the weather didn't seem to dampen our spirits.'
0:21:17 > 0:21:19We're going to start sinking again.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Can you get through there?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Over the rudder. - Very good. It's a doddle.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29The canal is so narrow you can't steer it. It's perfect.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37'Lock after lock, mile after mile.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'Now we're getting somewhere.'
0:21:45 > 0:21:49I'll give you five euros, Griff, if you shout up to Dara, "Top o' the mornin' to ye."
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Go on. Go on.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57He won't be able to hear us anyway. Top o' the mornin' to ye, Dara!
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- THEY LAUGH - Fantastic.
0:22:00 > 0:22:06That's fantastic. Well worth... money well spent.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14'As we come to the end of day two, in reality we're not very far out of the city at all.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17'Close enough, in fact, to go back in and settle a score.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22'When he was at university, Dara was a star debater at the debating society,
0:22:22 > 0:22:26'and tonight he's revisiting his youth and his lost hair.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30'The motion is, has Ireland made a more significant cultural contribution to the world
0:22:30 > 0:22:32'than England? I have to speak against.'
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I spent most of my college career doing this.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39This is kind of where I started being a stand up comedian.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44This is weird, like being nostalgic for sometime in the early '90s.
0:22:44 > 0:22:50He's coming back to an area with his own home audience, a triumphant return to Dublin.
0:22:50 > 0:22:56Me, this is the first time I've ever done this and I've got...
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Griff is famously unable to talk in public
0:22:59 > 0:23:02as he will explain to you in a monologue.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Welcome to tonight's debate on the motion,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13Ireland has made a more significant cultural contribution to the world than England.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16'In these debates, two teams take it in turn
0:23:16 > 0:23:20'to clash to persuade the audience that their side is correct.
0:23:20 > 0:23:26'As guests, we'll be speaking last. Griff for England, but first, me on behalf of Ireland.'
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Two names have dominated this debate, one of them spoken, one of them unspoken.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32The first is obviously Joyce.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Joyce got mentioned repeatedly. Yes, ha ha, nobody's ever read the book.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39This is what the book actually looks like.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43Just so you know, they are available in many shops.
0:23:43 > 0:23:48I thought I will go down the list of authors and find the first English author, and compare.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Irritatingly for the English, it's Jordan with A Whole New World.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57This is how no amount of Shakespeare will win for England.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00No amount of Dryden, no amount of Auden,
0:24:00 > 0:24:04no amount of Milton, nothing, nothing will top what I'm about...
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Strap yourselves in, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12"Unfortunately my holier than thou, I don't do one night stands halo
0:24:12 > 0:24:16"slipped as soon as I got Pete alone in that hotel bathroom in Brisbane.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18"Fuelled by my intense desire for him,
0:24:18 > 0:24:22"I went much further and quite a bit lower."
0:24:22 > 0:24:25You see where she's going with this.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29"I slipped off his towel, fell to my knees and gave him a..."
0:24:29 > 0:24:32LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:24:35 > 0:24:38"I wanted him so much that it was the one time when I thought..."
0:24:38 > 0:24:42And it's italicised, indicating her internal monologue,
0:24:42 > 0:24:46"I don't care if I'm acting like a slag."
0:24:50 > 0:24:53She bangs out hundreds of these, ladies and gentlemen.
0:24:53 > 0:24:59They single-handedly, like a black hole, devour all literature around them.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04You cannot claim the greatness of a nation while you have this as your number one...
0:25:04 > 0:25:06This woman crushes me for sales!
0:25:06 > 0:25:09This was relatively ill-informed, shoddily put together.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Incredibly shoddily put together!
0:25:12 > 0:25:15It's been a pleasure to talk to you again. Thank you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17CHEERING
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'd like to thanks Dara for his fine speech
0:25:20 > 0:25:23and call Mr Griff Rhys-Jones to close the debate.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30As a Welshman, I'm going to interpose myself,
0:25:30 > 0:25:33as it were, between the English and the Irish.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I was once in a programme called Mine All Mine
0:25:36 > 0:25:40and I had to do it with a lot of Welsh actors.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41One of them said to me,
0:25:41 > 0:25:48"It must have been terrible for you, Griff, growing up like that in Essex in England.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52"You must have experienced a lot of racial prejudice."
0:25:52 > 0:25:56I said, "Well, to be honest, I didn't at all,
0:25:56 > 0:25:58"I don't think anybody noticed I was Welsh at all."
0:25:58 > 0:26:01He said, "That's exactly what I mean."
0:26:05 > 0:26:09So I'm very much aware that I know how you feel, Dara.
0:26:10 > 0:26:15I know how Irish people feel, but the truth is,
0:26:15 > 0:26:21we've heard a lot spoken tonight, but it hasn't been in Irish.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27The crucial word in this debate is significant contribution.
0:26:27 > 0:26:32I think it's a wonderful thing to sit here and see everybody sitting in their dinner jackets.
0:26:32 > 0:26:38Those dinner jackets were invented in the 19th century by Prince Albert
0:26:38 > 0:26:41who went to his tailor,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45and said, "I wonder if you could invent for me
0:26:45 > 0:26:50"a short, dark costume that would make me look a complete twit
0:26:50 > 0:26:55"in the high street in the middle of the afternoon."
0:26:56 > 0:27:00That is part of English culture
0:27:00 > 0:27:03that we now find dominant even in this room.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06I can only, as a Welshman,
0:27:06 > 0:27:11urge all of you Irish people on all sides of me to be realistic
0:27:11 > 0:27:17and admit that you are not the most powerful culture in the world.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Thank you.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30I'd like to thank all the speakers. I'm now going to put the motion to the House.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- All those in favour say "aye".- Aye.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- All those against say "nay".- Nay.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Oh dear.- The "ayes" have it.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44'Yes, well, what did you expect in the middle of Dublin?
0:27:46 > 0:27:50'The next morning, no-one seemed keen to get the barge started.'
0:27:50 > 0:27:53- Where do we go today then? - We move further west.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56I'm saying that in an aspirational way.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00I think serious questions have to be asked about whether this is the boat to do this on.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03I'm determined to try and get this thing started.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05We no longer have Andy to help us.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Do I have the physical strength to do it?
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- I'm working on an exit strategy.- OK.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14'At least the barge had good entertainment
0:28:14 > 0:28:17'in the form of Griff losing his temper
0:28:17 > 0:28:19'in Griff versus the engine III.'
0:28:26 > 0:28:28ENGINE SPLUTTERS
0:28:28 > 0:28:30GRIFF CHEERS
0:28:31 > 0:28:33ENGINE STALLS
0:28:41 > 0:28:43GRIFF SIGHS
0:28:48 > 0:28:53HE PANTS
0:29:03 > 0:29:05That...
0:29:05 > 0:29:07is enough...of that.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14'At last, some proper transport,
0:29:14 > 0:29:19'and to avoid loads more locks, we head north to the Royal Canal.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22'This will take us all the way to Mullingar.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27'The Royal Canal was built as competition to the Grand
0:29:27 > 0:29:31'and went bust the year it was opened due to the coming of the railway.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34'As a consequence of this, there are no boats on it,
0:29:34 > 0:29:37'so what I've arranged is a car with some special powers.'
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Look, look, look...
0:29:40 > 0:29:42ALL: Whooaaa...!
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Hey-hey!
0:29:45 > 0:29:46Bravo.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49- OK.- This is magic. - LOUD REVVING
0:29:53 > 0:29:57'After the initial excitement, it all became plain sailing.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59'Or plain driving.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01'Actually, what is this?'
0:30:03 > 0:30:06When James Bond gets into one of these cars,
0:30:06 > 0:30:10there must be something to do with the music starting.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14The romance, the speed, the power,
0:30:14 > 0:30:17the amazing flights the car is capable of.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20We don't make aspirational telly here, do we?
0:30:22 > 0:30:26'It's very, very relaxing being the only vehicle.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33'Soon Dara's previous night out in Dublin took its toll.'
0:30:43 > 0:30:49'Before we arrive in Mullingar, a little stop off for some sightseeing at Fore Abbey,
0:30:49 > 0:30:51'a place famed for its miraculous wonders.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55'It does seem like Griff's been at the guide books again.'
0:30:55 > 0:31:00Fore Abbey, founded 630 by St Feichin.
0:31:00 > 0:31:04An unfortunate comedy name that he probably didn't anticipate.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05St Feichin set it up in what, 630?
0:31:05 > 0:31:08630, yes.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09It's great, they chose well.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12The monks were very good at things like that.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17There are seven wonders here. Can you name any of the wonders, Rory?
0:31:17 > 0:31:19- Yes, the tree that won't burn. - That's one.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21The water that won't boil.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24- That's two.- The tree that won't stop burning?- No.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26The river that runs uphill...
0:31:26 > 0:31:31'It has to be admitted that today the wonders look less than wondrous,
0:31:31 > 0:31:36'but what is remarkable is what people have done with them in the name of rampant Irish superstition.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38'Particularly this tree.'
0:31:38 > 0:31:40This is it!
0:31:40 > 0:31:44We are traditionally a very superstitious people.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48I am presuming the idea was that people would make wishes on this.
0:31:48 > 0:31:53It's amazing. A lot of tissue. It's become like a litter tree.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55I don't think that was really their aim.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59This is, in fact, a very elaborate wastepaper bin.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02Socks, potato crisp packets.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Somebody has left a bracelet. I can understand a nice bracelet.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08But to come down here, and tie a bit of old tissue...
0:32:08 > 0:32:12- The tissue's there for illness. - It's unsightly, I think.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Can I go on the record for one thing?
0:32:14 > 0:32:16I want to mock this, I want to mock this
0:32:16 > 0:32:20because I find all these superstitions really...
0:32:20 > 0:32:21It's not my thing.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25I am a sceptic and a rationalist, I want to mock this tree.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28At the same time, I don't want to hear you two mocking it.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- I don't want you two coming over here...- I won't, because...
0:32:31 > 0:32:36- This is the thing, am I having it both ways by saying this? - Yes, you are.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39I want to do the Catholic church in Ireland and all that usual stuff
0:32:39 > 0:32:42but I don't want to invite you over and have you do it.
0:32:42 > 0:32:47- I'm jumping...- Why don't we let you mock it on your own
0:32:47 > 0:32:49- and we'll defend it? - Still, you'd be there, you know?
0:32:49 > 0:32:52- Hey, hey, hey...- Hey, let's go...
0:32:52 > 0:32:54What have we got so far?
0:32:54 > 0:32:58'Yes, Dara has found himself up to his neck
0:32:58 > 0:33:02'in a great, deep, soggy Irish quandary.'
0:33:02 > 0:33:03It's beautiful countryside.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07It's beautiful countryside but it's the same countryside as most countries have.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09It's like being in England.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12'Maybe it's because Dara doesn't live in Ireland any more.
0:33:12 > 0:33:17'Perhaps he feels guilty, and consequently is desperate to defend it at all costs.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21'Fore Abbey was pillaged 12 times by the Vikings.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25'The real miraculous wonder is that there's any of it still standing.'
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Would you have been a monk? You are very intelligent men, both of you.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30- And... - THEY LAUGH
0:33:30 > 0:33:34In those days, if you were a bit intelligent and, you know,
0:33:34 > 0:33:38and you hadn't... Although you were related to the kings,
0:33:38 > 0:33:42we were just related to the sons of the soil and from ordinary working backgrounds.
0:33:42 > 0:33:47- We might have passed our exams and gone into the monastery. - You'd become priests.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49- We'd have become monks. - I'd have been a bishop.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52You'd have been one of those dirty, roistering priests.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Look at the ruddy face on you, you'd be perfect.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Can you take your hat off in there?
0:33:58 > 0:34:01What is the idea of taking your hat off when the monastery has no roof?
0:34:01 > 0:34:05- True.- They didn't have a roof over this, cos this was the cloister.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09The cloister was designed so you had, on the inside, a window to heaven.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13Shall we go and have a look at the nave?
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Shall we just go? Cos it's all locked up.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18'Dara's obviously had enough of defending Ireland.
0:34:18 > 0:34:23'Maybe he can get some respite at one of the quietest and most anonymous towns in Ireland.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25'Mullingar, right in the centre of the country.'
0:34:32 > 0:34:35'Our arrival caused a bit of a stir
0:34:35 > 0:34:39- 'but that was nothing compared to what was about to happen.'- Yes!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41ENGINE ROARS
0:34:49 > 0:34:53'Mullingar car park was full so we left our car in a multi-storey pond
0:34:53 > 0:34:57'and walked out into the high street to see what the town had to offer.
0:34:57 > 0:35:02'What it had to offer was a food fair in the centre of town,
0:35:02 > 0:35:04'so that's where we headed.
0:35:04 > 0:35:09'But the food fair seemed to be rather more elaborate than we'd been expecting.'
0:35:09 > 0:35:10Thank you.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13SPEAKS IRISH GAELIC A bit of Irish for you.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Ta failte means you're very welcome.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17- Failte?- That means you're welcome.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21'Dara was a much bigger star in Ireland than any of us had imagined.
0:35:21 > 0:35:22'Even Dara, apparently.'
0:35:22 > 0:35:25MARCHING BAND PLAYS
0:35:28 > 0:35:32What a coincidence that this just happened to be on when we arrived in Mullingar.
0:35:33 > 0:35:38'It took a few moments for the penny to drop but all of this was for us.'
0:35:38 > 0:35:41It's been laid on for Dara!
0:35:41 > 0:35:45Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. Dara O'Briain!
0:35:45 > 0:35:50Here he is, we've brought him back to Mullingar. Here he is! Dara!
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Very strange.
0:35:52 > 0:35:56- Hello, how are you, how are you? - All for one and one for all.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57How strange is that?
0:36:00 > 0:36:02How are you? How's yourself? Hello.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05Hello, hello. How are you? Hi.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07How are you? Good to see you.
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Thank you very much. Thank you.
0:36:24 > 0:36:30Dara, Rory and Griff, on behalf of the people of Mullingar,
0:36:30 > 0:36:33the county town of Westmead, may I welcome you to Mullingar.
0:36:33 > 0:36:37Or as we say in Irish, cead mile failte.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39Thank you very much, you're very kind.
0:36:48 > 0:36:52All right, all right, I've been to Mullingar loads of times,
0:36:52 > 0:36:54this is the first time you've bothered to do this.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59If I came back next week, the band will be busy.
0:36:59 > 0:37:03Don't let's pretend this is the way we always treat people arriving in Mullingar.
0:37:03 > 0:37:07Ladies and gentlemen, o chroi, from my heart...
0:37:07 > 0:37:10HE SPEAKS IRISH GAELIC
0:37:10 > 0:37:13It's a pleasure and a delight to be here.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Thank you for coming out to welcome the lads here and to welcome me back
0:37:17 > 0:37:20to a town where I have been many... There's a camera behind me?
0:37:20 > 0:37:22I'm aware of where the cameras are.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24I've done this before.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27But thanks very much for heckling me.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30That's more like the Mullingar I thought I'd get.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33Randomly shouting abuse at me! CHEERING
0:37:43 > 0:37:47'For us, this was very flattering and also acutely embarrassing
0:37:47 > 0:37:51'but actually maybe the town was in the mood to party and today we were the excuse.'
0:37:57 > 0:38:00Like a politician, shaking hands. Hello, how are you?
0:38:00 > 0:38:04'Rory was impressed.'
0:38:04 > 0:38:07I think Mullingar is my favourite place in the world now.
0:38:09 > 0:38:13'Certainly across Ireland, Mullingar seemed to be the place to be.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17'If you've ever wondered what people mean when they talk about the craic,
0:38:17 > 0:38:18'this is the craic.'
0:38:18 > 0:38:23- You should be professional! - Thank you very much for teaching me!
0:38:23 > 0:38:26'You can't fault them for their generosity.'
0:38:26 > 0:38:30- It's beetroot chutney. - I'm not normally a beetroot person.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31Can we tell you...
0:38:33 > 0:38:34- Is it?- Absolutely.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38- ASIDE: It's a natural source of Viagra? - You're not supposed to say that!
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Can you back that up with figures and proof?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42It's the number one food in the world.
0:38:44 > 0:38:45I have two already, I'm fine.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49You're sure? You've a bad attitude. A third one'd be no problem.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53It's enough that I have the two lads as it is making a mess without a tiny cat.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Go on. Ah, go on.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59Do cats like chutney?
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Absolutely. We're doing a mixture for Kitty Kat at the moment.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04So, there you are.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09I'm trying to dispel this myth that all we do in Ireland is talk.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12This conversation we have had will do no good to us at all.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14Thank you very much.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- Your chutney, the cat, the apple, the beetroot.- The cats.
0:39:17 > 0:39:22The cats? You'll give me three? Jesus!
0:39:22 > 0:39:26Thank you, bye. Slan, slan.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31- CROWD:- One, two, three, toss!
0:39:32 > 0:39:35- RORY:- I said toss!
0:39:35 > 0:39:36Toss!
0:39:36 > 0:39:38Oh!
0:39:38 > 0:39:39- Hang on...- Oh!
0:39:41 > 0:39:43It's only on television(!)
0:39:47 > 0:39:51Next morning, we need to get to the Shannon at Athlone
0:39:51 > 0:39:55'The canal goes too far north from here so we need to find another way.'
0:39:55 > 0:40:00- Sunday morning in Mullingar's very different to Saturday night.- Yeah.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05'This disused railway line was used for the film The Great Train Robbery
0:40:05 > 0:40:10- 'and here we arranged to meet someone we've actually met before.' - Hi, lads, how are you?
0:40:10 > 0:40:12Louis, how are you doing?
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Didn't expect to see you three here.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18'Last time, he was making potato cakes at the food fair,
0:40:18 > 0:40:20'but for the last 15 years, architect Louis
0:40:20 > 0:40:25'has been developing an ingenious and unusual transportation device,
0:40:25 > 0:40:27'called a draisine.'
0:40:29 > 0:40:32'Draisines aren't particularly Irish.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34'In fact, they are German in origin,
0:40:34 > 0:40:40'and they're named after their inventor, Baron Karl Christian Ludwig Drais von Sauerbronn.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42'Or Ronnie to his friends.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45'The Germans used armoured ones to invade Poland.'
0:40:48 > 0:40:50This is how we grow up in Ireland.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52We always did this kind of stuff.
0:40:52 > 0:40:56This is a very, very typical snapshot
0:40:56 > 0:40:58of life in Ireland, contemporary Ireland.
0:40:58 > 0:41:03- A typical Sunday afternoon. - This is... Often I go to a match.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- Let's get the draisine out!- Yes.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Pedal, gentlemen, pedal.
0:41:11 > 0:41:15- Tell us about Athlone. - Right in the middle of the country.
0:41:15 > 0:41:20It's where all the canals, like the canal we're on now, meet the Shannon.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23- This is it, boats. Proper boats. - Lovely.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26No more car boats, no more ancient boats,
0:41:26 > 0:41:29no more weird bicycles on trains, proper boats.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41'Eventually we get to Athlone, which is on the Shannon river,
0:41:41 > 0:41:44'and where we'll be picking up the next boat.
0:41:47 > 0:41:52'The Shannon is Ireland's longest river and, this morning, probably its prettiest.'
0:41:56 > 0:42:00- It's a beautiful morning. - It certainly is. Look at that. If only I had my guitar here.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06- The Amaryllis.- Is this it?
0:42:06 > 0:42:07Is this the way to Amaryllis?
0:42:07 > 0:42:10- Pretty boat. - It is a pretty boat, isn't it?
0:42:10 > 0:42:12The mast is broken, though.
0:42:12 > 0:42:13Sweet!
0:42:13 > 0:42:16- Morning.- Morning.- Morning.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19'Amaryllis is Reggie Goodbody's beloved boat.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22'She's immaculately restored and looked after.'
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- This is the boat.- We can go all the way to Limerick with this?
0:42:26 > 0:42:27That's right, the whole way.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32'Reggie waves goodbye to us and possibly to his boat.'
0:42:32 > 0:42:35He's a very nervous man, that Reggie.
0:42:35 > 0:42:39- He is now! - He has every reason to be worried if he saw the last programme.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Have we got a fog horn?
0:42:42 > 0:42:45Wow, this is really, really dense.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49Can you see the bridge? Can you see the bridge, Griff?
0:42:53 > 0:42:54Somewhere up here...
0:42:56 > 0:42:58..is a lock.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01- Oh my God, it's sailing into nothing. - Yeah.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03That's incredible.
0:43:03 > 0:43:04We could be going anywhere.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07There's literally nothing to see there.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12'As we enter the lock, the visibility isn't getting any better.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14'If anything, it's getting worse.'
0:43:16 > 0:43:19- That's it, there we go.- Griff?
0:43:19 > 0:43:21Is it safe to proceed in this fog?
0:43:22 > 0:43:23Well...
0:43:25 > 0:43:26..not really.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30It's going to clear up but only complete idiots would go forward
0:43:30 > 0:43:33in these conditions, so we'll give it a whirl, shall we?
0:43:33 > 0:43:38- Did he say complete idiots? - He said ONLY complete idiots would do this.- Here we go.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41'In the next programme, the fog lifts.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45'And we descend into Europe's deepest lock.'
0:43:45 > 0:43:50This is like descending into hell, as least as far as I can remember.
0:43:50 > 0:43:51It's a bit like this.
0:43:51 > 0:43:56'Single-handedly, Dara continues to defend the Irish nation from bad jokes...'
0:43:56 > 0:43:59- Nothing like a large paddy. - Just stop now!
0:43:59 > 0:44:01'Worse accents...'
0:44:01 > 0:44:03- IRISH:- I'll do a bit of the Irish accent.- Good man!
0:44:03 > 0:44:04What, what now?
0:44:04 > 0:44:07'And terrible hairdos.'
0:44:09 > 0:44:11'And by any boat we can get our hands on,
0:44:11 > 0:44:15'we make our way to the first Limerick limerick competition...'
0:44:15 > 0:44:16There was a young lady...
0:44:16 > 0:44:18'Griff is desperate to win.'
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:44:43 > 0:44:46E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk